J m mm repoblicah b bUk.i ttj W.taeidaj, kf J. E. WENK. OfEoa In Bmubtuh A Co.'a BuUdlnj KLH ITIHT, TIONKSTA, fa, ratxs or AOYEJtrisiaai On. Square, one Inoh, an InnrtJoa. .1 1 Ml On. Square, on Inch, on. month. ... $ 00 On Square, on. inoh, tnre month . , I OO On .Square, on Inch, on J ear... ., 14 H) 1 wo bquaw, on yr 18 OC Quarter Column, on year.,,., ,. HO OC half Column, on year 00 04 On Column, on year : ...... 100 10 Laeal adrnrtu.ii ntt turn casts par Uma each uuartion, Marriage and death notice rrmtl. T REPUBLICAN Tarmo, . .. ,te ptrTur, . tWrtptl raeMi far skartar Mr1o4 t.Aa tmt m.nlb. Onrrm)Ti4nc lt.lt.4 (ma tl Mrta f tbt onntiy. N. a.Uc. wtii lata .1 hhiwu oHUitaieau.a. All bill, for yearly advertisement eo VOL. XXVII. NO. 30. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, DEC. 20, 1894. S1.00 PER ANNUM. quarterly. Temporary advertlsenmat i pain ro aavano. Job work oaah on delivery. Fores Germany has 2,375,000,000 in vested in foroign countries. A North Georgia farmer proposes to make a fence around bis land with cot ton bale. French physicians assert that mon whose ouly moat is horseflesh are in better health than those who have more variety. Porto Rico if to have a gold 'stand ard of currency, announces the New Vork Independent, the Mexican dollar to be retained as a basis of weight for the vahio of silver. Tho Minnesota Supreme Court has deoided that bicyclists have the same richts as horsemen on the streets. "Now, let us have a decision giving pedestrians some, rights," suggf the Atlanta Constitution. The Crown Prince of Oermrny is a very procooions boy, Recording to the Chicago Herald. When tho oonrt chaplain told iim all people were sin ners he said : "Fatlior may be, but I know mother is not." rroressor Kudolph Virchow told Jhe convention of anthropologists at In nesbruck the other day that tho Dar winian thoory of tho origin of spocios, commonly known as "evolution," wag 4inprovcn, uuscientifio, and evidently false. 4 Vermont is restookiug its forests and Htreams by good game law strictly enforocd, and tho people find that land hi worth more all over the State than it was before this policy was adopted. It is also noticed that more sportsmen visit the State than formerly. In ono of the Now York apartment bonces there are 220 pianos one to every four persons, besides a whole orchestra of picooloa, violins, guitars, cornets and an old-fashioned melo deon. Those who live across the way say that it is the, noiscst house in "America. Andrew Lang, the English essayist, says that the idle, the imitative and the needy had better adopt some other calling than literature, and advise all not to try to write a novel, unless a plot, or a set of characters, takes such irresistiblo possession of the mind that it iuubI be written. The St. James Gazette (English) as sets that tho "railway station speeob,r or, as it is called in this country, "th"u rear platform speech," was invented by Mr. Gladstone. . The New Orleaus Picayune believes this will be news tc Americans, who are pretty generally persuaded that it is a peculiarly Amerioan institution. Tho Gazette declares it a nuisance. Says the New York Ledger i "Wherever Americans plant stakes, w hear of political agitation. Th speeches at the great mass meeting ol Alaskans at Juneau hod tho trm Amerioan ring. There may have beet other political mass meetings it Alaska, but the news of them has nol reached us. The Jcueau meeting wai the lirnt important political demon' fcwutiua iu Hint part of our domain, the northern shores of which are. laved by tho waters of tho Arctic Ocean. " There are in successful operation in the South a number of cotton factories constructed with money raised on th installment plan, the payments being made as in a building and loan associa tion. Among the mills established under this oo-oporative schome and now iu full operation, tho New York Ledger mentions the following; Th Ada Cotton Mill, with a subscribed capital of $128,000, producing chain warps and ekein yarns; the Alph Cotton Mills, with a capital of $100, . 000 ; tho Highland Park Ginghau: Mills, with a subscribed capital oi SISO.OuO, aud the Gaffney Cottor Milln, . capital subscribed, $150,000i product, print cloth. . In view of tho great number of post oilice burglaries and highway inai robberies recently, tho Postmaster General has deemed it proper to offei rewards for the conviction of persons concerned in such transactions, which embrace $1000 for oouviction of rob bing the mails while being conveyed in mail car on a railway ; $500 foi conviction of robbing the mails whilt being conveyed over any post rout other than a railway; $-50 for at attempt at such robberies; $150 foi bri.-akiug into aud robbing a pott i-iik-e, and 200 in the latter case, where luo amount stolen exceeds $500. The Trenton True American thinki Wee rewurda ought to btiuiulate t Lit ink of ilctcct-'Ug and mir"''" 'ott A westward ocean trip, between En rope and New York, is usnally sovoa per cent, 'longer than an eastward one, In the City of Mexico every well educated person speaks at least throe languages. The Mexicans have a craze) for mustering languages. Id Mexico tho custom is ooramon of excepting new manufacturing enter prises from all save general taxation for ten to twenty years. The Argentine earthquake oocurrod tho night before ono of tho "oritical days" in the list of Professor Falb, the Austrian earthquake prophet. London pays forty-two per cent, of the income tax of England and Wales, and its government and management cost abont $55,000,000 a year. More than two hundred French cities have resolved to erect statues in honor of the Into President Carnot, aud it is expected that soon almost every French town will have a Carnot street or "square. There can bo no doubt, maintains tho Chicago Herald, that the talk of grape seeds and appendicitis has af fected the price of grapes unfavorably, in spite of the fact that the grape oure a few years ago was in high vogue. Ornithologists do not toll us that the chicken is tho most wonderful of birds, yet tho fast roraains, avers the Chicago Herald, that iu proportion to weight, it is far more important to the human race than any other animal. The refrigerating systems for the transportation of fresh meats, fruits, etc, are coming mora and more ex tensively into use. The New York World thinks it is too early to pre dict the future in store for this schome, which is still in its infancy. Judge Child, of Newark, N. J., set AMi'do a verdict which awarded a man $)i 00 for the killing of his eon by a street car. He said that the amount was preposterous and that if the plain tiff would accept $1500 he would dis miss the case. The fathor refused. The greatest obstacle to the growth of the lomon industry of this country is the fact that the fruit is not prop erly cured, and will not keep like the foreign artiole. The lemons them solves are equally good, but the curing process has yet to be learned. It has been estimated that of the $1,500,000,000 of property held in New York $300,000,000 is In the hands of women, but this is certainly well within the real facts (since the women of Boston pay taxes on $120, 000,000). .Even so, however, this would make, at the present rate of es timate, over $000,000,000 of property owned in New York State by women, adds the Dispatch. About twenty years ago German adopte 1 the system of compulsory in surance of workingmen against ac cidents. Sinoo that time, deolares th Hartford Courant, there has been paid into the reserve fund about $88,000,. 000, of which about $20,000,000 now forms tho capital. In the year last reported more than $7,500,000 was paid in indemnities, and more than $3,000,000 was added to the reservs fund. It is now proposed to extend the 6ystem to apprentices and em ployes whose wages do not exceed $176 a year. The annual report of Dr. W. T. Harris, Conuiiisioner of Education, says that twenty-three per oeufc. of the population attend school during some period of the year. The average period of attendance during the year, however, is only eighty-nine days for each pupil. The report says: "It would seem to be the purpose of our system to give iu the elementary schools to every child the ability to read. When he leaves school he is expected to continue his education by reading tho printed pages of news papers and books. The great incroase of public libraries in the United States is significant of progress towards the realization of this idea. In 1802 we had over 1000 public libraries, with more- than 1000 books in each. The schools teach how to read ; the libraries furnish what to read. But far surpassing the libraries in educa tive influence are the daily newspapers and magazines. Wo are governed by publio opinion as asoertaiued and ex pressed by the uewspupers to such a degree that our civilization is justly to be called a newspaper civilization The library and the newspapers are our chief instrumentalities for the continuation of school and the univer sity. Lecture courses, tea ulilio and litrry associations uip assisting A aONO Ot B fiC RETS, What socrcls In a drop ot dow Thnt on tho daisy glows Or sun and air and skies of blue-1 And rot, the daisy knows ! Here are the dnlslos at Love's font To lovo they yiolJ their socrot swoot f What secrets In a flash of sun Thnt gives the rose Its red : Ol spscos where the rainbows run And where the stars are led ! Hore Is the rose with crimson tips : It gives Its secret to Love's lips. What tecrols In all earth and hnnven, Of time nnd change and chance t Jet unto simplest Lovs 'tis given To read them with a glance ! Hore Is God s world, His heaven above And earth and benven are thine for Love ! Frank L. Stanton. HOW KITTY SAID YES. BT SUSAN ARCHER WEISS. UNT BETSEY sat at her open kitchen window, knitting, while niece Jemima made the tea-cakes. Her white cambrio apron was smoothly tied over her neat dress a light cali co, sprinkled with rose-buds and forget-me-nots, which had taken Uncle 1 K'SJ'rtW Jerry's fancy on his last visit to town, and which he could not be convinced was "too young" or gay for his wife. Sho was pleasant and comely to be hold, with her smooth bands of silvery hair displayed, as the breeze blow back her cap-border, and the expres sion of goodness and kindliness upon her still rosy face. She hummed cheerfully to herself, as she knitted, something abont "a rest beyond the skies," while Jemima, mix ing and rolling dough, occasionally took up the refrain. Presently there came strolling across the grassy lawn in front of the house two persons one a handsome, manly-looking young man, and the other a pretty girl, with a laughing face and inischevous dark eyes. Thoy sat down on the green bench on the porch, shaded by the trellis of multitlora rose and white jasmine, and Aunt Betsey, in a pause of her song, heard them talking together. "Dear me," said she to Jemima, "why, there's Joe courting Kitty again I" "Well," answered Mies Jemima, "it's nioren L would do. How often he's got to ask tuat gal before she con sents to marry him, I'd jest like to know." Uuconsoious of these comments, Joe was pleading his cause with the pretty girl of the bright, mischievous eyes. "Kitty, I don't like to hear you talk about going home. Couldn't you be content to stay here and make your home with us always?" "Well," answered Kitty, slowly, as if deeply considering the question, "I like the country, and if " "If what?" said Joe, eagerly. "If I had a handsome country-house and a fine carriage " "Kitty, will you be in earnest for once? You know that I can't afford a Que house and carriage. But 1 love you, Kitty, and will do everything for your happiness that it is in my power to do. Don't you believe me?" "Well, I don't aoouse you of telling nntruths, Joe. But what is the use of always talking about snoh things? We're so young. I am only eighteen and you twenty -three. Surely there's plenty of timo for us to wait." "I've waited over a whole year," said Joe, gloomily. "Dear me 1 is it so long? But after all, what is a year to us, when we have all our lives before ub? Why, we may both of us live to be a hundred years old, like that couple we were reading of in the papers last night, and then we may regret that we didn't enjoy our youth longer, instead of getting married so young. Besides, I believe in waiting. It is a test of constancy." "My constanoy needs no test!" said Joe, with firmness. "But perhaps mine does. How do I know but that I could like some one slue better than I do you?" She looked at Joe, with her laugh ing eyes just visible above the bunch of wild-roses which she was holding to her pretty retrousse nose. Joe regarded her sternly in reply; and viciously chucked away an inno cent lady-bug that was crawling on the multidoro. "How can you be so cruel, Joseph?" said Kitty, solemnly. "That poor in seot never harmed you. " "Look here, Kitty, I've had enough of this 1 I don't want to be made a fool of any longer. You will foroe me to do something desperate." "Well, I can't help your doing des perate things if you choose to do them. You're old eniugh to know how to oonduct yourself properly. And now I smell Cousin Jemima's tea cakes baking rl'm so glad we shall have my favorite tea-cakes for sup per I I'll just go and put my flowers in water before we are called in." And she arose aud tripped lightly away, humming a gay song. "That gal," said Miss Jemima, who had caught fragments of the forego ing discourse "that gal would worrit the life of Job himself. I've the great est mind to put away the tea-cakes for to-morrow's supper, aud not let her have a taste of 'uin to-day." "Oh, she'll come round some time?" said Aunt Betsy, cheerfully. "It's the way with some guls, though I'm bouud to confess that I never carried on so with my Jerry." Kitty went up to her room and placed her wild dowers in water, and tdtii, standing near the window, brushing back her curls, she said to "I dare Bay I do tease Joe too much, but I can't help it. I suppose it's my natnro, and jnst just as Tabby there likes to tease the mice that she catches. But I don't mean to give up Joe not II And I'll be kinder to him to-morrow." She heard the tramp of a horse, and looking out sow Joe riding away on his beautiful bay, on which he always appeared so well. "Ob, so he's gone to the narveysl" said Kitty, with a toss of her head as she watched him turn into the orchard road. "That's to pay me off, I sup pose, and excite my jealousy. Well, he'll see. As if 1 oared I" Cousin Jemima might as well have carried ont her threat of not produc ing tho tea-cakes, for though Kitty made a point of devouring two or three of them with a great show of relish, they had lost their charm for her, and more than once she felt as though thoy were choking her. The next morning she made a point of not going down until Joe had fin ished his breakfast, and she exulted as over the stair banisters she saw how he lingered about the porch aud hall way, pretending to be looking for missing articles, bofore he finally fol lowed his father to the cornfield. It was a busy time, and they did not come home to dinner. Kitty thought it the longest day she had ever spent, and she hardly knew what to do with herself. But in the evening she put on a white lawn dress, with a rose in her hair, and went down stairs to where Joe was sitting on the porch steps, pretending to road a paper. Ho looked up wistfully, but Kitty passed him and wont out to the little front gate, whore presently she was engaged in an animated chat with young Dr. Bowers, who happened to be passing. Joe knew thnt the doctor admired Kitty, and while they stood chatting together, he sat on the steps, scowling like a thunder cloud. When the doctor had taken leave and passed on, he strode down the walk and stood by her side. "Kitty, did 1 hear you promise that that fellow to go with him to the pionio next Tuesday?" "What fellow?" said Kitty, ioily. "You know who I mean 1" Joo was pale with jealousy and wrath. "And you know that there was an under standing that I was to escort you." "I presume that I can go with whom I choose," answered Kitty, haughtily. "So you can, and I want you now to make your choioe ; but I tell you, once for all, that if you throw me over for that Bowers, you'll be done with me forever I" Kitty was almost frightened at his vehemence. She drew back a little as she said : "My goodness, Joe, what a temper you have 1" "You've driven me to it; you've made me desperate," ho retorted. "This thing must come to an end be tween us one way or the other, for I will bear it no longer." She looked at him, and her cheeks flushed scarlet. "What right have you to speak to me in that tone? I am not your slave and I shall go with Dr. Bowers to the picnic." Joe looked steadily into her eyes for an instant. "Very well," he said, shortly. And, turning on his heel, walked off in the direction cf the barn. "Joe," called his mother from the kitchen window, "come in, Joe I Sup per's ready. Come, Kitty, child, be fore the rolls get cold." "I don't want any supper, mother, and mother" Joe paused a moment, and his voice seemed to lower and falter'Mon't expect me home to night. I'm going over to Uncle Thomas's." And he walked on very fast, as if not wishing to be questioned. As Kitty entered the cool dining room, where the family took their meals, Miss Jemima was standing at the window with her arms akimbo, gazing after Joe. "That boy," she said solemnly "that boy ain't himself. I shouldn't be surprised if he's driven to do something desp'rate." And she looked resentfully at Kitty. "You don't eat anything, Kitty," kindly said Uncle Jerry. "Maybe you think the weather's too warm for Lot rolls and cakes? Well, take some iced milk aud berries aud Why, bless me, what's tho matter with the child?" "Please, uncle aunt excuse me," she said, aud hastily left the room. She did not go up stairs, but out of doors, whore she could relieve her heart by sobbing unseen and unheard. Passing through the garden and the orchard, she followed the little foot path which led to a pretty strip of woodland, where in a cool ravine, rau a narrow but rather deep stream be tween mossy banks. This was a favorite haunt of her There had been a little rustio bridge leading to the hillside beyond, but this bad been lately washed away after a heavy rain. She could see us she approached tho spot one of tho posts still standing ; aud wasn't that Joe leaning agaiast it like a statue, his arms folded aud his eyes bent upon the deep little pool which the rocks had just here bent in? A sudden fear seized Kitty. Surely, surely Joe could not be thinking of drowning himself? She stood still and breathless, watch ing him. Presently he started as if from a reverie, aud with lips com pressed into a look of firm resolve, picked up a coil of rope which lay at his feet. Then he walked round aud round a tall and straight tulip tree growing close to the eille of the stream, look-i.-ig up into its hiek foliage, as if fur J convenient yraut-h to which to at- Kitty's heart froze with horror. For a moment she felt paralyzed ; but, as she saw Joe carefully mnke a noose on one end of the ropo and propare to climb the tree, the spell was broken. She rushed forward with a wild shriek, and threw her arms about him. "Oh, Joe dear Joe don't dp such a dreadful thing I Don't hang your self, Joe for my sake, don't I Oh, forgive me forgivo me, dear Joe, and I'll never, never tease or grieve you again 1" A strange expression came over Joe's face. He looked down into tho white face of the sobbing girl, and his stern eyes softened. But then ho said, gloomily: "How can I believe yon, Kitty? You have as good as told me that yon did not love me. And without you I don't care to live." "Don't talk so dreadfully, Joe ! I I do love you I" "Answor me truly, Kitty I Do you really love me?" ' .- "Yes," sobbed the girl. "Indeed I do, Joel Please, please throw away that dreadful rope!" "Not yet, Kitty. . Do yon love me above everybody olso in the world ?" "Yes oh, yea I" "And will vou marry me, Kitty?" "Yes, I wiil, Joe indeed I will I" "When?" "Any time to-morrow now," said Kitty, in desperation "if you will only throw away that dreadful thing and come home with me. . "There, then I" And Joe flung the coil of rope into a thicket of laurel on the other side of the stream, and drawing Kitty to him, kissed her solemnly. "Bomember, you have promised to bo my wife, Kitty." "Yes," she answered, mookly. And so, hand in hand, they returned through the orchard and tho garden to the house. "Of all the onacoouutablo critters on the face of tho y earth," said Misa Jemima, surveying them from tho pantry window, "ricommend me to a young oourtin' couple I I don't bolievo they know their own minds five min utes at a time, anyways I" Uncle Jerry was sittinj on the top step of the poroh. "Well, Joe," said he, cheerfully, "hev you fixed that gum-tree with the' rope all ready to pull it down in the right direction?" "No, sir," answered Joe, quiotly. "I'll attend to it to-morrow." "Well, don't forget it, for tho sooner that bridge is finished the bet ter, if we want to got the hay over in good time." Kitty stopped and looked straight up into Joe's face. "You've deceived me 1" she said, indignantly. "No, Kitty, I haven't. You deceived yourself, dear, and I'm very glal of it, I assure you." "Glad?" said Kitty, reproachfully, and with her face all crimson with blushes. "Because but for that I might never have gotten you to say 'Yes,' and we might both have been forever miter able. But now how happy we are going to be for the rest of our lives I" "Still it was a dreadfully mean trick I" Kitty murmured, as she; allowed Joe to kiss her again behind Unole Jerry's baok. "And if you ever say a word about it to any one, I'll never forgive you never I" Saturday Night. A Ifar J Working Monarch. The activity of the German Emperor is well known, but it will probably surprise many to read the following table of his movement.1) during the year ending August 15 ; He was in Berlin or Potsdam, so the table stutes, ' 160 days and traveling 199 days. He gave twenty-seven days to manoeuvres and reviews in twenty different places, from Kiel and Salzwedel to Stuttgart, Strasburg and Metz ; he went for State ceremonials to four cities; to the fu neral of Duke Ernest and to the wed ding of the Grand Duke of Hesse ; h3 hunted in Sweden, Wurtzenberg, Up per Silesia, Baden and Hungary ; his trip to Abbaza, including a visit to, Pola, Venice and Vienna, oooupied' three weeks. He visited tho North Fiord aud England, traveling together during the live years over 18,750 miles, or an average of niuoty-nve miles for each of the 19J days ho was away from Berlin. London Chroui do. (iulls Perched on Cedur.. The Captain of a steamer that plies along the ooast and that was passing one of the rugged, lonely islands off tho Maine shore pointed to an enor mous flock of gulls that whitened thj rocks, the surface of the sea, and tho branches of the o 'dars that cling to the hard soil. "i'bere," said ho, "what do you think of that? And yet if you turu to a book ou natural his tory they'll tell you that gulls won't perch ou trees. Some fool suilors be lieve that the petrels, or Mother Carey's chickens, never alight, even on the water, but are always on the wing. They dou't uso thoir eyes. And some of these scientilio fellows are as bad as the sailors." Lewiston (Mo.) Journal. There Were T wj Kimls ot llsli. Mr. Broker says ho has change 1 his restaurant downtown, "so ho can kuow what he's getting." His mind got uucertauiu about his old plaue after an experience bo ha I last Friday. Friday is "lisli day" at this place, aud Mr. B. likes lUli wheu it is "just riht." So he cast his eye over the bill of fare, ami romsrked : "Lizzie, how is the boiled codfish to-day? if it ugoo 1, you may bi iu ; me some but, you in i ml, if it isu't good, I dou't want it do you see?" Lizzie saw mid departed, and then, Mr. Broker says, he heard her call dowu the shaft of tliu duiu i wuit.-r iu the rear: "One y:nlii ' - ' ONE WAN'S QUEER FANCY. A NEW YORKER'S WONDERFVL COLLECTION OF TOWELS. They Number More Than 1300, and Were Gathered From All Parts of the World. ONE New Yorker has made towels a fad, and he has gath ered from all parts of the world an unparalleled assort ment of them. Benjamin B. Daven port, a lawyer, better known as the publisher of several books, is the pos terior of this unique collection, and it bis home at Asbury Tark he proud ly displays bis store of the towels of all notions, t ...Ich number 1312. Mr. Dr renp rt has been engaged for twenty years in the amassing of this bizarre exhibit, which includes towels of cotton, wool, linen and silk. He has boon ably assisted by many of his friends. To the acquaintances de parting for distant lands Davenport bos been wont to say t "Send ma a towel from Madagascar," or "Whilo yon are in Patagonia pick me up one of the native towels." By far the greater part of the col lection was picked np in the hotels of the United States by Mr. Davenport personally. They vary in size and texture. A thin, Bleozy cotton rag, through which one might road a nowspoper, bears the startling legend indolibly stamped across its limp sur face: "Stolen from the Occidental Hotel, Leadville, Colorado." It is evident that the miners had formed the habit of carrying off tho towels to use as shirt fronts. In contrast to this co3nomical rag there is a roller towel thirty feet in length, seoured in an Illinois hotel wash-room. It was what the porter who sold it to tho collector called "the house towel. " One set of seven towels, of varing thiokness and texture, including a genuine Turkish artiole that looks like forty cents' worth of tripo, reoalls the luxury of a looal bath house. ' A square section of jute bagging, such as is used to cover cotton bale, was considered quite the thing in a hostelry on the banks of tho Yazoo River. A real curiosity is a stiff and inflexible affair found in the composing-room of a Pennsylvania weekly newspaper. It was "the office towel." There are towels of softest damask, with daintily embroidered initials that sail np romantio visions, and there is section of mummy cloth brought home from Cairo, whioh might once have been used to dry tho moisture from the fair skin of Pharaoh's daugh ter, or possibly have been tucked under the chin of the infant Moses. There are towels that are as small as napkins, and towels that would answer for bedspreads. Some are as soft to the touch as the fluffy bosom of the eider swan, and others oould be used to grate horseradish upon. Thore are dainty French towels and heavy, square German towels, soft Italian towels that give forth a faint odor of garlic; cold, heavily starched towels that come from Eng land ; a Sootch towel that is made of tweed ; an Irish towel of unbleached linen that will take off the cuticle as if it were made of emery paper ; towels from the South Sea islands tkui are not towels, but are cocoa mats ; a carefully dressed chamois-skin whioh came from the Alps; a jeans towel from Indiana; a homespun towel from Kentucky ; a Japanose towel of fibrous paper, and a heavy silk towel once owned by Adelina Patti. Thon there are common towels ol no particular, individuality, that are in the collection, because thoy were known to have been last used by some celebrity or because there is a tale oi adventure, romance or soutiment con nected with their acquisition. Mr. Davenport's conscience is never troubled when he contemplates his treasures. Very few of them wore aooidontally packed into his baggage. As to the oousoionco of tho porters and chambermaids who assistod in the compilation that is another story. Each of the towels is duly tagged, and numbered and a catalogue gives tb history of each article. Now York World. Chlucse Cuiiniiijr, In New Zealand, as in California, the Chinese abounds, and there, toe be has to resort to strategy to uia'i good his position. It is relatod that in Otago, where Scotchmen are iu th majority of the colonists, a contract for mending a road was to bo let and the lowest tender was signed "Mc pherson." Notice was sent to the said MoPherson to meet tho board and complete the contract. Iu dm timo they met, but behold I Me Ther eon was yellow in hue and had an uu mistakablo pigtail. "But," gasped the president, "your name can't bt MoPherson?" "Alle light," cheer fully answered John, "nobody catch um oontlact in Otago unless he name Mao. " The contract was signed, and the Mongolian MoPherson did bit work as well as if he had really bailed from Glusgow. China Mail. lluby Transportation, If to tho burdened and habitual arohioologist tho sight of a buby car riage and tho infant snugly nestled iu fur brings no thought of tho past, it does, however, to Mr. O. T. Mason, ol the United Stutes National Museum, who in bis "Woman's Share in Primi tive Culture" tracks the whole ad vauoe mvde in the method of buby transportation. Mrs. Peary will toll you of the nest tho Eskimo woman arranges on her baok, so thut her buby in cold weather receives its mother's warmth. Carrying babies, as it must bo seon, varies with climatic condi tions, and so the Arab mother settles her child at her waist, aud it clings there as if it wore a marsupial; 1 VV 'l'inu. WHAT WOULD WE DOf If nil the world was always bright, Without n shndow crccpln' , An' sun? kept s'linin' day an' nlirht--What would wa do for slecpiu'? t If all tho skips was always clnar, An' Spring Just kept a-stnyln", An' bees made honey all the year What would we do for slolghla'? If everything went Jest our wny, An' .not a storm was howllu' ; An' cash camo In for work or play, What would we do lor growlla'? Jest lot the plan o' Nature rest Bo fflad for any weather : Tho foller who still doos his best, Brings earth an' heaven tlROther Atlanta Constitution. IIUM0B OF THE DAY. There is something crooked abont a man who carries a corkscrew. Bos ton Courier. A good many men bolievo in adver tising, but seem to think it should be free. Albany Argus. No malice can exist without thought ; o how can there be such a thing as malice before thought? Texas Sitt ings. It is a pathetic fact that tho band that rooks the cradle can't throw a rock and hit anything in sight. Somervillc Journal. Minneapolis women who are going to vote should remember that they cannot use a hat pin to scratch a ballot (nth. Minneapolis Journal. Americau Heiress "Would yon ... ' ever marry for money, Baron?" Baron "I don't know how much have you?" New York Ledgor. He had no ovsrooat to wear, Though chilly days hail come, Dut he'il slaved aud saved almost enough For one chrysanthemum. Chicago Intor-Ocenn. Tailor "I hear that you have paid my rival, whilo you owe me for two luits." Student "Who dares to ao- cuse mo of such a preposterous thing?"- Fliegendo Blaetter. Chawler "Did yer go inter bob da tnake charmer?" Hengoutt "Yes, an' it's a question in me mind wedder she charms de snakes or paralyzes dem." Boston Courier. Minister "Good evening, sonny! Is Brother Hapenny at home?" Brother Hapenny's Son " 'Course I Don't ye see us all outside th' house?" Cleveland Plaindealer. Maude "I hope you are not going to marry that Mr. Korterl" Kate-jj-- "Really, I don't think it would makt any difference to you, dear, if I didn't." Boston Transcript Helen "Funny you didn't notioe that Tom had been drinking. Ho talked to you quite awhile. " Maude "Yes, but then be talkod to me under bis breath." Boston Transcript. "I wonder you women never learn how to get off a street our." "Umh? If we got off the right way it wouldn't be long before they'd quit stopping the cars for us." Boston Courier. Johnnie (with history book) "Papo, what was the Appian Way?" Papa "I suppose it was a way Ap- pian had, though I don't know much about him personally." Detroit Fre Press. "Have you ever loved another, Tom ?" said Miss Gush to her intend ed. "Certainly," repled be. "Do you wish written testimonials from my previous sweathearts?" Harper's Bazar. She "But how can you think I'ji pretty when my nose turns uji-go?" Ho "Well, all I have to say-is'that it Bhows mighty tiaur taste in backing away from siHfli a lovely mouth." Standard. 1 Exceptional Case "I told my friend Emma, uuder promise of the strictest secreoy, that I am engaged to the lieutenant, aud the spiteful thing ao tually kept tho secret." tiicgendo Blaetter. "No," said the busy merchant; "I don't care for no dictionaries to-day." "Thank you," returned the fair book agent from Boston; "how uy shall I put you down for?" Smith A , . Gray's Monthly. Mr. Scrimp "My dear, I don't see how you hud this couuterfeit bill passed on you!" Mrs. Scrimp "Well, you don't let me see enough real money to enable me to toll the difference." Harper's Bazar. Mrs. Benedict "Now, what wonld you do, Mr. De Butch, if you had a baby that cried for the moon?" Da Butch (grimly) "I'd do tho next best thing for him, madam ; I'd make him see stars." Kate Field's Washington. "There is something about you that I like exceedingly," said Mr. Callow hill to Miss liieketts. "That's your own inordinate egotism," replied the girl. "My egotism?" "Yea, sir, for uothiug is about rao quito as much as you." Harper's Bazar. Tibbie "How did you manage to got Manger to voto for our side? Did you convince him that on the groat politioul issues of the day his Iiarty is wrong aud ours is right?" Jibbie "Well, it amounted to that. I just praised his dog." Boston Tran script. The Shopper "I'd like to bny that ' lovely lamp shade, but 1 can't afford to pay ton dollars for it." Tho Sales man "Well, madam, I'll make the price nine dollars and niuety-uiua cents." Tho Shopper "Ob, how good ot you I I'll Uke It. Chicago ltcoord. "I think I will take a holiday the next three weeks," remarked the sec- , rttury and troasurcr of a private com pany to the chairman thereof, "But you returned from one only two weeks ago." "Truo; that was my holiday as secretary; I wish to go now as treasurer. " Tid-Bu.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers