RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Sqnira, ona Inch, one Insertion.. I 1 W One Sqnare, one Inch, one month. ........... I 00 One Square, one Inch, throe month. One Square, one Inch, ona year 10 O0 Tno Sqoarei, one year IS 00 Quarter Column, one )ar W 00 Ililf Column, one year W 00 One Column, one year 100 Hi I-eea! idrertlaementi ten cents .er line eaehi ertlon. Mirrli;e and death notlcei gratis. All bllli for yearly adrerttaementi collected qoar. tony. TemporarVdrertlMuienU moat be paiu In advance. Job work cub on delivery. THE FOREST REPUBLICAN Ii published every Wednesday, by J. E. WENK. Oftloe In Bmearbaugh & Co.'a Building ELM BTRKBT, TIONK8TA, T. f! A Mi-Air n -frrrfrtrDfl Term, $1.00 per Year. No imhiicrlptlons received for a thortar period than thro motithn. Oarrmpondence nollelted from ill parti of the country. No notice will bi taken of aooaymoni communication!. VOL. Ill- HO. 22: TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 22, 1886. $1.50 PEE ANMJM. 5 31 rl A Fittsburg builder of cheap houses uses matched flooring instead of lath and plaster. On this cotton cloth is glued, and on tho cloth wall paper is pasted. This ho clnims is better ond cheaper than plaster, and thus houses can bo built in cold weather. Here is another argument for oatmeal and milk. There are living in "West Hivcr Settlement, Nova Scotia, four brothers McLcod whoso united age? foot up 324 years. They are as follows: Hugh, eighty-four yenra; William, eighty-two years; Daniel, eighty years, and Anthony, seventy-eight years. They are all hale and hearty and able for their porridgo and milk every morning. The meanest teacher on record and that means a great deal to the children is tho one at Liegnitz. in Germany, who gave her class tho following prob lem for a holiday task : From 8S0.TR8, 890 deduct 020 until nothing remains. The poor girls ligurcd and figured for hours without making much headway; finally their tears atti acted tho attention of their parents. A simple division will how that the figtu-j 02!) is contained in the larger ono no less than 1,400,:SC0 times. Allowing three deductions a minuto and twelvo hours' work a day, it would takoover 000 days to do what had been given tho girls as a holiday amuse ment. ThoPowderly of Belgium is named Fahaut. lie is tho lender of tho Belgian quarrymcn, and during tho recent labor riots in that country he exercised his in fluence on tho side of order. lie enjoys tho unbounded respect and confidence of tho laboring population, lie is often called King Fahaut, ond on his wuy to his roecnt conference with tho Governor of Liego was followed by an almost royal escort. IIo road at tho head of 600 quarrymen, a heavy hammer in his gloved hand, and bowed graciously in re sponse to the enthusiastic shouts of tho populace. Fahaut, who is fifty-two years; of ago.is said to bo very intelligent and a giant in strength. There is trouble over tho famous Na varro fiats in New York, tho model and mammoth apartment buildieg that wero to revolutionize methods of living, min imize the inconveniences and annoyances and afford the maxima of comfort, lux ury and convenience for housekeepers. The plan doesn't appear to have proved wholly successful, and tho insurance company which holds a mortgage of $1, 040,000 on tho buildings is to foreclose i's claim, while sums aggregating $!0, C0i) arc duo for taxes, wator-rent and other incidental. The condition of af fairs seems to indicate that there is a lino in apartment-houso building which it isn't safo to pass. Persons who can af ford to pay for such accommodations as tho Navarro plan promised not unnatu rally prefer in most cases to own their own houses. Statistics in regard to newspapers seem easy to obtain, yet it is asserted that for thu lirst time an accurate count ing appear in a ropjrt read b 'fore the Imperial German Diet. According to this there are 34,000 journal in circula tion in the world. Half are printed in English, ono quarter in German and the rest in other languages. Ameiica has 12,000 and Europe 10,000. These fig ures are much larger than those given in 'Hubbard's Directory for 1'oSJ." Less than 23,000 aro estimated thero as min istering to the world's daily informat ion. The "Encyclopedia Brittanica" assigns no newspaper to Japan. The Japanese, however, aro not so badly oil and have journals devoled to various subjects. Seven aro medical in character, niue re lute to sanitary interests and twenty-nine endeavor to pt pulario science. A very creditable showing to their taste. Texas has been popularly supposed t.) bear tho palm for sententiouMiess sinro the episodo of th householder who, upon observing a burglar climbing into his window at night, drew a revolver and simply remarked : "Cit!" Where upon the other replied : "You bet," and dropped to the ground. Now, however, Minnesota may make pretensions. Dur ing a thunder storm nt Lake Minnetonka a few days ago, tho lightning struck a tree near tho lake Purk Hotel, shivcr ing it to splinters. Ono of tho gucts of tho house, who was standing near by, was thrown on his back. A hotel clerk rushed to his assistant e and dragged him, api arently more dead than alive, into the hotel ollic . When the crowd that gathered around was momentarily expecting to see the li .billing stricken guest yield up the ghost lie opem d his eves, raised himself on his elbjw, and remarked: "u'entleinen, a little of that fills me up." THE BRAVEST BATTLE. The bravest battle tliat ever was fought! IShnU I tell yon where and when? On the maps of tho world you will find it not; 'Twas fought by tho mothers of men. Nay, not with cannon, or battle shot, With sword, or nobler fen ; Nay, not with eloquent word, or thought From mouths of wonderful mon. But (loop in a walled-up woman's heart If woman that would not yield, But bravely, silently, bore her part Lol thero is that battle field 1 No marshaling troop, no bivouac song; No banner to gleam and wave? But, oh! these battles, they last so long From babyhood to the grave! Joaquin Miller. HIS REWARD. "Tho dcarost littlo woman in the world !" I answered enthusiastically, when Robert Payton asked me for a descrip tion of Mablc "accomplished, and yet as modest as a violet; pretty, without coquetry; a dainty house-keeper, and yet au ardent reader.'' Then Robert interrupted mo with a light laugh : "If you admire her so much, old fel low why do you recommend her to your friends? Why don't you " And then ho caught his own headlong speech, while his face flushed. He did not mean to bo unkind, and his eyes looked remorsely into mine, as I said, sadly: "Why don't I strive to win her love? Ah, Robert, I shall go to my grave un blessed by a wife's love I ' Here, meeting tho conscience-stricken eyes, I plunged into a discussion of some public topic, and we spoko no more of Mabel until sho came herself to the porch whore wo wero seated, to be introduced to my friend. I left them together after a time, and strolled down no, let mo write only plain truth hero limped painfully down tho garden path to tho summer arbor, where I had carried many n heart-wound before. Robert's words had stung me, and every pulse was quiv ering yet wilh keenest pain. lie was my friend in college, and had accepted an invitation given y.ars be fore, and come to spend a few weeks in Somervillo with me. Our littlo family consisted only of three, with the servants, my Aujit Clnr.i, Mabel nnd myself. I called Mabel cousin, and' we had been brought up like brbthcr and sister, but in reality sho was only step-daughter to Aunt Clara. Ours was a pleasant home. My own income was au ample ono, and Aunt Clara's husband had left a competency to his wife and child. We were fondly attached to each other, and we had around us every comfort of refined life. But I ah, how my pen halts and ling ers! I was a blot upon the fair beauty of our home and surroundings. I was not born a cripple; perhaps if I had been", resignation might have been part of my nature. At nineteen I was a tall strippling. as straight and active as a young Indian, with a comely face, as faces go, and the full, healthy possession of every sense; and already, with my boy heart, I loved Mabel, and looked forward to a life besido her as tho hap piest which fato could have in store for me. She was but fifteen then, an innocent child, fair as a flower, gentle, loving, and yet full of youth's happiness. We, Aunt Clara, Mabel and I, took a journey during that winter, nnd in ono of the great cities where wo remained forthreo days only, tho ho'.el where' wo stayed caught fire. I was still reading when the alarm was given, but Aunt Clara and Mabel, tired with our sight-seeing, had retired early. I hastened to their room, ad h id some difficulty in rousing them. I heard their rapid preparations to es cape through tho closed door, and saw tho fire gaining upon mo. Just as they threw their do.r open the staircaso be came a sheet of flame. "You cannot escape this way," I shouted, pushing them back into the room; "wo must try tho window." They closed the "door after ire, and helped niu to knot tho bed clothes to gether. Amid tho horrible din around us thu stillness in that room was awful to bear. No word was spoken till I lifted the end of a sheet to tie round Mabel's waist. Then, with white lips, but steady eyes, she whispered : "Mamma first. Quick I the fire is under tho door." I threw open the window, and the door flashed into flame, A crowd be neath gave a shout as I lifted Aunt Clara to the sash, and hundreds of arms were raised to receive her as I lowered her to them, while a stream of water was thrown upon the fames beneath u. Safely I accomplished this first peril, and Mabel was next tied to the rope of bed-clothes. By this time the room was all in flames, but my darling reached tho ground uninjured. I saw her safe, and tho smoke and flame suffocated me. Leaning far out to steady tho di scent of Mabel, I lost my ba'ance. and fell crash ing to the ground beneath. It was many long days before I knew anything more 1 was taken to another Intel, and here my aunt and Mabel n;;rsed me back to life ngain. lJut, oh, the miserable mockery that life seemed to me! Misshapen, lame and feeble, I returned to Somervillo a shadow of the boy who had left it. Fire and fall alike had spared my face. The brown curls, tho large, blue eyes, the straight features, were left untouched, although the pallor of death replaced the glow of health. Tenderest love spared mo all possible pain, but 1 murmured sorely. All my dreams of ambition were put aside with much repining, for the. deformity and lameness, were not so insurmountable a bar as a severe internal injury, that will make me an invalid till God takes me from life. In the darkest hours of my despair Mabel was the angel who brought the light of pi.ticnt submission to comfort me. Mabel's voice spoke the wwrds of resignation that I took into my soul, knowing her sorrow was almost as groat as my own. Mabel taught mo to think of the two lives gained at tho price of my infirmities. And tho love that had been my hope and pride becameuin added torture to my heart. How could I fail to lovo her more and more every day my comforter, my dar ling! Was she not ever beside me, to wait upon mo, to play for me, sing to me, read with me, wear away tho long hours in games, and when my suffering was shown in my face, to bend .over me, and, with her tears falling, thank mo for her life. Thrco years had passed since the fire, when Robert camo to visit me. He had left me in the full flush of youthful strength; ho found me a crippled in valid; but by God's mercy no longer a despairing, murmuring ono. Before mo ever was tho perfect, sweet life I had saved; tho motherly love my own hands hark rescued from death, arjd with these two to comfort mo, I had learned to say, sincerely and fervently: "God's will be done." But when tho letter reached me an-1 nouncing Robert's intention of visiting me, a strange vision rose before me, unit ing the lives of the two who wero my dearest friends on earth. Dearly as I loved Mabel, I could wish for her no happier fate than to bj Robert's wifo. I knew him to bo a man, honorable to his heart's core, noble in every impulse, talented ond gifted with u marvelous power to win altection. Do was rich, too, though he pursued his profession, and was already winning a good position as a rising lawyer. Sitting in the summer house, I could see Robert and Mabel as they stood conversing on the porch whero I had left thorn. His tall, erect figure, his haudsomo face, his perfect, manly beauty contrasted well with her small, dainty figure, her sweet, earnest face and the gentle womanliness of every expres sion. Sho wore white on that day, with soft blue hero and there in her hair and on her bosom. My darling! my darling 1 My heart hungered to catch her away from all the world, and fold her close, closj in, its embrace, and I sat looking upon her and praying sincerely that Robert might lovo Iter ana win her love. There wero many walks and drives in Somervillo well worth a visit, and, wkh Aunt Clara for chapcrone, these two spent hours in the soft summer air, driv ing or walking.- I had overcome Mabel's reluctance to leavo me alone, by repre senting to her tho impossibility of my performing the duties of host excepting in-doors. and begging of her to take my place in the exercise of hospitality to our guest. And in tho hours, now very few and far between, that we were together. I talked to her of Robert, of tho many noble traits 1 had seen in his character, of the honorable place he held among men, of his gentleness and bravery. She would listen to me silently, bend ing over her sewing, and keeping her face hidden from me. I thought she was shy of showing tho pleasure she felt in hearing her lover's praise. For, before the first week had passed, I knew that Robert was her lover. However he might prosper in his wooing, it was cer tain he was loving more and more the ! gentle girl whose sisterly care and affec tion had made the very sunshine of my life. Shyly at first, but in a 'littlo time, with all tho frank confidence of the years we had spent together in college, Robert made me the confidant of his love, meeting my warmest sympathy, suro of my listening patiently to all his enthusi asm, his hopes and fears. Tho fears pre dominated ! He found his advances met by a gentle friendliness whoso very frankness discouraged him. "If sho wonld blush and look shy as other girls do," he would , say to me, "I would have some hope, but I might be her grandmother for any such emotion I might awaken in her. My very prettiest compliments fall flat when sho raises her large soft eyes and smiles half merrily and with a spice of mi-chief, but never coyly, as if the words touched her heart." Later he would be provoked, and once he hinted at a rival. Earnestly and truly I assured him that in the whole range of her maiden friends, Mabel had never shown favor to one above another. Gentlemen visitors were not numerous at our house, Somervillo being a quiet, sleepy place, apt to be deserted by its chiUtren when they arrived at "man's estate." Our minister was sixty, with a staid wifo and half a dozen grown-up boys and girls. Our doctor was an ec centric old bachelor past fifty, who looked upon women as very trouble.-ome bundles of aches and pains, whose rj quirements interfered sorely with his study of sundry pet theories in his pro fession. Lawyer we had none; und, anxiously summing up our entire macu lino population, I was quite certain there was not one who could ever hope to win Mabel's affections. Cheered by my assurances, encouraged by thu affection of Aunt Clara, Robert became more hopeful as the summer days wore by, and my first attempt at match making seemed in a fair way to prosper. If I grew paler and paler, if my physical suffering was increased by the mental torture of my daily life, I made no moan, and thought only of Mab.d, her future, her happiness. September was with us, and Robert was talking of returning to tho city. Al ready, under the influence of his love for Mabel, ho had prolonged his stay far beyond his original intention, und we had gladly urged him to dosa. He had snokeu of a day still a week distaut for departure, when one morning, while it was yet early, he came to the summer house, where I was reading, and sitting besi le me, said : "I am going to leave you to day !" "To-day !" I cried, and looking full in his face. I knew why ho was going. "I did not mean to speak so soon," ho said, in a low voice, that ho made even by a strong effort, "but I met her on tho porch, and sho was bo kind knowing my stay was nearly over, that I was hopeful for the first time. I told her my love, and before she spoke I read my answer in her sad, wistful eye. She does not love me. Very gently sho tola me this. 1 cannot accuse her of any corpictry, for sho has given mc no moi c encouragement than the frank friendliness of hospitality. It was all my own folly. But.John," and Robert placed his lianas upon nunc, looking earnestly into my face, "sho told mo in her pure, womanly sympathy for my pain, her maiden secret. When I pleaded for time, hoping still to win her,sho told me all her lovo, all her heart, was already given to another. Death might como be fore her love was answered, but it was no longer hers to bestow. Before I could speak Robert left me again. Did ho guess, by the pain of his own heart, the secret of mine? Was this unknown'rival as startling,asunexpccted to him as to me? Mabel, this child I ha 1 known from babyhood Mabel, nursing a secret love I I could not believe it 1 Reject Robert for some st. anger, whoso name I could not guess I It must havo been while I was in college that the lovo grow in her heart, while sho was yet but a child. I rose up bewildered nnd went slowly to tho house. Aunt Clara was in her littlo sewing-room, and I entered my own snuggery4)eside it. The doors wero not closed, and Mabel was on her knees, her face hidden in the bosom of the only mother sho had ever known. I could hear her voice as sho sobbed "It was cruel, mamma, to' bring liim here cruel to him and mc." "BuJ, Mabel," my aunt said, gently, caressing the bowed head, "I cannot un derstand. You say you cannot lovo him because you love another. Tell me, darling, where have you given your love?" Then Mabel raised her head. "Whom could I love but John?" I heard no moie. Tho sudden rush of happiness was too much for my fceblo health, and I fell forward heavily,uttcrly unconscious. When my senses returned I had been lifted by Robert's strong arms to the sofa in my snuggery, and he was standing beside me. I could see my aunt holding Mabol in her arms near tho win dow. "Why, John, old fellow," Robert said, in a cheery tone that gladdened my heart, after the confidence of the morning, "do you often scSre folks in this may f I could heard your aunt call in the garden, and your cousin is nearly frightened to ieath! John," he whispered, bending low, "did you find out the truth!" I cculd only look wistfully into his face. v . "I know! You meant it all for the best," he said, still in the same low tone; "but, you see, love will not bo driven. God grant voti every happiness! lean say ifj from my heart. Mrs. Meredith," ho said, aloud, "can I spoak to you a mo ment in the garden!" Aunt Clara gently released herself from Mabel, and we were alone. "Mabel!" I cried, sitting up in spite of the agony it caused me. And she came at my call. At last, she read tho love in my face, and she nestled in my arms, sobbing quietly. "I can scarcely believe it yet," I said. "You love mo, lamo, deformed, sick!" "What made you so:" she answered. "Was it not to save my lifo you risked your own? Y'ou could have eadly es caped, but you waited for me. Oh, John," she said, earnestly. "I loved you always. I cannot remember when my love was not given to you, but never has it been so strong, so true, so life-long us since you were crippled, deformed and sickly for my sake." So sho is mine now, my darling, my Mabel. I am stronger as tho years go by, but I shall never be quite well, never anything but a deformed cripple; yt Mabel loves me, and in my wife's affec tion I find happiness. Swedish Manners. Ono 'great peculiarity of traveling in Sweden is the extreme quiet .and lack of flurry. Tho Swedish aro a taciturn and noiseless people. They do much by signs and never shout ; a Swedish crowd makes singularly little sound. Swedes even of the lowest class never push or jostle. It ii tho custom to do so much bowing and hat-lifting that ono is obliged to movo more slowly than in England to give time for all this courtesy. When a train leaves a platform or a steamboat pior all the lookers-on lift their hats to the de parting passengers and bow to them, a compliment returned by the traveler. If you address the poorest person in the street you inust lift your hat. A gentle man passing a lady on tho stairs of a hotel must do the same. To enter a shop or a bank with one's hat 0:1 is a terrible breach of good manners. If you enter or leave a coilce-room you must bow to all occupants. Passengers on board the little steamors which ply between Stock holm ioTiiably raise their hats to occu pants of any other boat which passes near them. The very men in charge of the locks on the canal bow politely to the sailors hs tho boats go through. Im agine English bargees indulging in such amenities. London. Sonet i. Try It! The jolly jur is on the shelf, And Johuny stands and helps himself 'I here is no timo to take a shj iu, Fur xo'iie one may he eoming suoa. hi.,, iu his busy tineis k "How jolly gooit it is ho, ho!" But soon he starts in quii k burprise ilaminu looLs in wilh sob-r eyoi. 'Why, Johnny! lloiv eau you ilo so? That is not uue at all, you snow:" ".Not nice, iiiuiiinuii'' he laughs in glcti, "Just tako a taste uuil then you'd t.ee!" Sydney Dayre, in loutV Companion. RUNNING A TENT SHOW. WHAT IT C03T3 TO KEEP UP A CIBCUS IN THE SEASON. A Heavy Expenditure Before a Cent Come In What tho Money is lald Out For. Few have any idea of the executive ability required to run even a moderately large railroad show. All reputable cir cuses now travol by rail, and many pro prietors own their own rolling-stock. They not only give transportation to an army of men and horses, but bed and shelter them also. The first thing is to lay out a route into "stands" of from one day to a week according as the town to ba visited is a "$2,000 town," a "$12, 000 or a $13,000 town." Then the first advertising car goes out. With it or just ahead goes the advance agent and the press agent, who makes contracts with newspapers and prepares tho way for the advertising car to follow. Some night the bill boards blossom out with fresh wall paper, and at the same time lithographic hangers adorn numerous store windows. Barnum has six cars with thirty men to a car, following one another at intervals to renew the bills and keep things warm, for rival circuses have. a way of tearing down And cover ing up each other's paper in samall towns in a manner which exacts vigilant work. When a circus train rolls into a town the cars containing the performers are side-tracked, but the fiats carrying the property wagons and' cages are. into po sition for immediate removal. A long pair of skids are placed at each end of the lino of flats and the spaces between tho cars are bridged by smaller pairs. In loading, the material is so arranged that tho first thing needed will be the first tocome off. The wagons being towed atyng the top of the cars, arc taken down the incline with the brakes down, where one or two teams, the animals having their tails done up in burlaps to avoid having them worn off or eaten, aro in readiness to bo hitched to the wagon, when it is whisked off to the grounds. During this part of the programme tha "razor- ba- ks," as the trainmen are called, are - -r u obliged to hustle, Uut they have an easy time when the others are at work. The spectacle of the great fabric of spars and canvas going up in the course of an hour or two is something worth witnessing. After the preliminary measuriug a man steps around and indi cates where stakes are to be driven by planting little wires tufted with red. Im mediately in his wake comes a man with a stake, and with him a group of drivers, who range themselves about it, each com mencing regular swing with a big iron maul. '1 hey follow each other with blows so closely that it almost looks as though a continuous stream of iron were striking the stake, which is sent into the ground with a steady motion, as if from an even pressure, and not a succession of blows. It takes forty-five seconds to drive a stake and to accomplish what would wind an ordinary man. While ono is puzzling himself how the tent is going to be put up, tho great expanse of canvas which has been unrolled on the ground com mences to rise in the center, and flattens out as the guy ropes are made fast to tho outside stakes. The roof is further braced by wall poles, which havo previously been laid under tho canvas. Then the walls go up, and the tent assumes recognizable shape. Expert canvasmen receive ifjiO to $00 per month and board, and bosses (ono lor each tent) $100 to $200 per month. Meanwhile tho ordinary actors, side show freaks, fakirs, candy butchers, and others have crawled out from their quar ters in some old worn-out coach to suit their purposes. It has rows of bunks on cither side, four deep instead of two as usual iu sleepers. Calico curtains adorn the front of tho bunks, which are rarely drawn, as seclusion goes at a heavy dis count, Tho higher-juiced performers travel in somewhat better style. The common herd always eat at tho mess tent, nnd frequently the better class of actors iu places where hotel accomda tions are not the best. All contracts call for board and trans portation. Trainmen get $33 per mouth; i teamsters $40; animal attendants, f 15 per week or less; "lion tamers," $ .0 per week; ring performers, $23 to $300 per week; female trapeze performers, $130 to $230 per week, according to reputa tion; riders, male and female, $43 to $;0 per week, unless they have National reputation or own their own stoc k, which is frequently the case, when these prices aro increased according to tho value and number of horses. These figures were given by a showman, who may have stretched them somewhat for the glory of the profession, and they aro for tle common run of p.rformers, having no reference to stars, whose salaries nre regulated by competition among man agers. "it is to be remembered that these sala ries do not last the year round, though tho people usually make dates with variety theatres or dime museums, o.- go South during tho winters. Performers are required to fumi-h their own cos tumes and properties, though the super has his supplied by the manager. Circus men, liko at tors, have a cold-blooded way of lying about their s ilarics. It is believed to bo to the interest of per former and manager to do this, and the habit has much to do with tho mislead ing glamor thrown around show life. This prnussional fiction is frequently backed up by dummy contracts, which are ornamented uith generous figures, bud are tin. shed u po i tlie innocent upon the slightest provocation, luter-Ocun. "Canyon t"!l me the difference be tween a hen with three legs and a very young baby:" a-ked llieronymus Tuck of Nebiichadi.ear Suippit. "I don't think I can," replied Suippit: "what is it:" "One is a little strange und the other is a little stranger." i'rA.tj .'Qlijraj!hm A COMMONPLACE 1.1 FB, A commonplace life, we say, and we sigh; But why should we sigh as we sayf The commonplace aun in the commonplact sky Makes up the commonplace day. The moon and the star are commonplace things, The flow or that blooms, and the bird that sings, But sad were the world, and dark out lot, If flowers failed and the sun shone not. And God, who sees each separate soul. Out of commonplace lives makes his beau tiful whole. Suan Coolidge. HUMOR OF THE DAT. Talk is cheap unless you employ a stenographer. Somertille Jonmal. Art hour-glass is made smallest in the middle. It shows the waistof timo. Chicago Lcdier. A pretty girl won a musket in the French lottery. When they cave it to her she asked : "Don't they give a soldier withitl" Fretty nearly everybody is on strike nowadays trying to hit the pestiferous fly and missing him nine times out of a possible ten. Troy Timet. When Fortune hides her smiling face, And many troubles disconcert you; Though triends may leave their 'customed place, Tour creditors will ne'er desert you. Merchant-Traveler. "What do you grow on this laud f" he inquired of the farmer who was leaning over a fence inspecting a particularly Ijiuren piece of ground. "Grow lazy," was tho satisfactory reply. New Haven Ncic. A young man advertised lore wife, his sister answered the advertisement, and now the young man thinks there is no balm in advertisements, while the old folks think it is hard to have two fools in the family. Buffalo Commercud. HOPELESS. They have mode the piano of paper, AN hat wonders art is achieving! If they'd make a paper performer Le yet might be worth someone's HviDg. Tid-BUs. "Are you a philanthopist, sir?" asked an old gentleman of a young man who was distributing a quantity of butter Scotch to some little children in Wash ington Square. "Am I a what?" said the young man. "A philanthropist?" "No, sir: I'm a dentist." Puck. "I remember well,", said Bagley, in a reminiscent way, "tfio old gate where we did most of our courting. The dear, dear gate." "So it was," said Mrs. Bag ley, musingly. "I know dear papa said it cost him thirty dollars to have the hinges nnd other parts repaired that summer." Philadelphia Call "Mamie," said a young man in an ice cream saloon, toying with his cheek, "do you know that a chemist has discovered tyrotoxicon in ice cream ( "ms no though i" answered Mamie, manifesting pleasurable surprise. "I wondered what made it taste so good. I could eat an other plato of it." And tho young man mentally cursed tho lamentable failure of his scheme. Norrhtonon Ilerald. Tho Heligoland Woodcock Harvest. Heligoland is the favorite (proposed) resting place for those vast flights ol woodcock which, in tho month of Octo ber.leave tho fast-fading forests and bare rye fields of Norway and Sweden, where they have hatched out their young and fatten tho young birds upon the resinoua shoots of larch and succulent bilberries of tho far north. At the first ice-blast they prepare to fly south, and about ths middle of October every eye in Heligo land is on tho alert watching for their arrival. Right across the narrowest end of the island high poles are fixed in the ground ; from polo to pole strong fishina nets are stretched,' resembling gigantio tennis nets. All la now prepared for the "hospitable" receptions of the poor, tired birds, und at last the happy day ar rives. Sometimes during church time tho cry is heard: 'Tho woodcock are coming!" when every soul, including the clergyman, rushes out, nnd, seizing a long c'.ub-stick provided for tho purpost, watch the loag, black, wavy streak in the fky till it comes nearer and nearer; the poor birds fly verv low in their fatigue lifter so long a flight and hitting against the nets tall down and are killed iu enormous numbers. This is tho rich har vest of the year for tho lleligolanders, and boats are immediately pot ready to convey thu dead birds to Harburg. Wcodcock pate is also mado for the next week without ceasing, and fetches large prices in Cermany, beiug very liko Stras burg pate. So few escape to continue their fight that this massacre of tho iu nocents may account for the compara tively rare appearance of these excellent birds in our English woods. AU the Yea Jioitnd. A Collection of Boot-Heels. Hero is the latest new thin in collec tions. An old gentleman in Paris, f -ed, j 1 suppose, by the example of the co-.icc- tor.s ol celebrit.es hats ana ians, auu stocking, and snuff-boxes, l"ls been for some time engaged in collecting the boo heels of fain mis people of both sexes. Ho has already more than 1,000 sped mens, and declares that tho character of their former ort ne: s can bo read in the state of thu boo: heels they ha-e left be hind them. Hut. utter all, the old ma.i, is not to be laughed a. Boot herds arc quite as iutert stiir.t as the old corsets which an ther collector is accumulating. Tho nucleus of this last collection v.' formed by one tt.at was formerly th property of tho auihorem of "June iiyie, which '.vii-: s dd at a recent sale of Bronte relics for half a guinea. London
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers