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VOL. III. NO. 1.
TIONESTA, PA.. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 28. 1886.
$1.50 PER ANNDM.
4w
In the United States every two-hnn-
reilth man takes n college course; in
England every 11 ve-lmndrodth; in Scot
land, every six-hundred and fifteenth,
and in Gerninny, every one-hundred
and thirteenth.
i Feminine subservience to fashion is the
prente.it enemy to our native birds. To
minister to this vanity an army of men
and boys tire employed throughout the
country to murder theso innocents, that
their stuffed skins may decorate a lady's
bonnet. Travel a hundred miles along
our coast and you may not sen a gull
where five years ago there were thou
sand, of white breasts flashing in the
sunshine. In mauy places meadow-lurks,
bob-o-liuks and orioles ore almost ex
tinct. Guiteau's sister and her husband are
both ruined by the division he brought
about between them. Mrs. Scovillo is
living in poverty in Chicago upon the
frugal alimony paid her by her former
husband, while the latter is struggling
unsuccessfully in his profession, and
making barely enough to pay her this
alimony and live himself. He recently
declared in court that his business re
ceipts for ono month were only $24, and
that an execution 1ml been served upon
him by the sheriff.
"Tin plates a mile long" is rather a
startling announcement, yet Sir Honry
Bessemer hints that the means for pro
ducing such will be his next contribution
to the science of practical metal-working.
His plans are not entirely nude public,
but in general they contemplate running
the steel through the rolls and bringing
it out plated with tin in sheets of any
length and then cut into plate of any
desired size. The cxerimcnts are pro
nounced successful, and patents have
been sought on the process.
A goose farm is oue of the curiosities
of ngriculture on the eastern shore of
Virginia. "Vithiu au area of about 3,000
acres live 5,000 geese, of several varieties,
attended by herders and regularly fed
with corn, etc. The object is tho col
lecting of down for quilts and pillows,
and once in about six weeks a plucking
takes place. Only tho breast and tho
sides under tho wings are plucked, and
it requires the yield of nearly 100 geeso
to weigh a pound. The raw feathers arc
sent to Philadelphia for cleaning and
sorting.
The times seem to be going hard with
European princes. A few days ago we
read tho following advertisement in the
Vienna Zeitung: "Wanted, a home in
which an orphaned, highly-gifted boy of
ten years, the heir of a renowned family,
will be received (for a period) gratuitous
ly. For full particulars, address 'Chari
tas, Poste Restante, street, Vien
na.' " For all we know, this homeless
young "prince," who cannot afford to
pay for board and lodging, may be a pre
tender to the throne of France or Spain,
or one of the nationalize 1 principalitLs
of Italy.
The Standard Cattle company, of
Cheyenne, Wyoming, will construct an
immense feeding establishment, includ
ing 5,000 acres of land at Ames, Neb.
The buildings will consist of feeding
barn, elevator and cribs, meal-houses, of
fices, etc. The feeding-barn will consist
of 8,000 stalls, and is expected to turn
out yearly 8,000 to 10,000 fat beeves. It
js exported that 300,000 to 500,000 bush
els of corn and 8,000 to 10,000 tons of
hay will be" fed annually. This is the
second great enterprise of the kind es
tablished in Nebraska in connection with
ranches on the plains and the great
mountain valleys of the Rockies. Theso
''fatteries," as they have been facetiously
called, may grow into an industry that
may eventually change tho whole charac
ter of the grazing interests of the great
plains ranches.
A Hamburg newspaper gives the fol
lowing account of a curious and excep
tional incident which occurred in the
collection of a dealer in wild animals in
that city. For some time past ono of the
large elephants, brought over by some
Cingalese, had shown signs of furious
delirium, and it was at length decided
to kill the animal, which was valued at 12,
12,000 francs. An Englishman had once of
fered to give 1,000 marks, if the occasion
presented itself, for the privilege of shoot
ing the enraged beast. Tho sportsmon
was thereupon summoned by telegraph;
but in the presence of the raging animal
be became frightened, and gave up the
intention of bringing it down with u
shot. Strangulation was then resolved
upon as a means of despatch. Chains
were passed around the neck of the ele
phant, which had Le u bound, and the
twoendsof the chains were drawn tightly
by means of tackle. Tea minutes after
ward the colossal creature had ceased to
live.
A DESERTED GARDEN.
Tangled Ivy creeps and twinea
Where one bloomed my lady's flowers,
And th twisting wild woodbines
Weave o'er all their clustering bowers;
And the fruit trws from tho wall
Droop forgotten and forlorn.
And tha rose tresis, thick ami tall,
From their trellis-work are torn,
Dewy paths once velvet smooth
For the dainty steps of youth
Weedy now, nnd overgrown
With the rank grass all uumown.
Here and there, amid confusion,
Gleams a berry ararlet-hued, --
And pale bind-weed in profusion
By the summer breezos wooed,
Creeps where onre verbenas grew.
Or the myrtle, flowered so fair,
In the warm and scented air;
And the speedwell deepest blue
Shakes its frail flowers everywhere.
Bo, amid theso paths, all haunted
By the memory of old flowers,
Orowthsse wildwood blooms undaunted,
Through the glowing autumn hours,
Ah ! how long ago it seorrm
(Since bright faces glowed and smiled
In tbU garden of our dreams,
Now so desolate and wild!
They will come again no more, )
And no time shall e'er restore
Golden days and fairy flowers
To these wearied hearts of ours.
Chambers' Journal.
A NARROW ESCAPE.
A TRUE STOHT OF THE COMMUNE.
I had been through the French war or
as the precise word-mongers have it
through the Franco-German war. It will
be understood by any military man that
such was no jocose experience. Tho
word went out on the 10th of July, 1870,
from the bumptious French assembly
thnt France was going to have one of her
periodical walk-overs across the German
states, and in effect that this was all to be
for the glory of the rein of Napoleon III.
While some of its chief actors still sur
vive, let me tell a little experience of an
associate in journalism, who afteward be
came the bravest and ablest newspaper
correspondent of his time. This was tho
late J. A. MacGahan, whose remains
were removed from their temporary sepul
ture on the Bosphorus, whero they were
interred on the 7th of June, 1877, at the
instance of the State of Ohio, whose son
he was, on board a national man-of-war,
and afterward buried with great cere
mony at tho expense of tho common
wealth. MacGahan had accompanied
Bourbaki in his disastrous campaign
in the southeast of France,
where tho general's forces were finally
annihilated, and the entire command of
nearly 100,000 men was driven into Swit
zerland, where they were subsequently
interned. Thence MacGahan hastened
away to Bordeaux, where a newly-elected
assembly was convened to determine if
the French would accept tho terms of
peace laid down by Bismarck, which,
among other conditions, provided for the
partial and temMirary occupation ot Paris,
or continue the war a poutrance, as de
manded by Gambetta, Garibaldi and
Victor Hugo. It was here that I first
met MacGahan in his striking costume,
top boots, military overcoat and slouch
bat, in the midst of an excited crowd,
arguing with a hot-headed delegate. I
had arrived in Bordeaux from Chanzy's
army of the Louvre, which had been
terribly defeated by tho splendid com
mand of Frederick Charles, who, upou
my capture as a prisoner, imposed such
rigorous conditions in my parole that I
surrendered the instrument, and, in a
blinding snow storm, mounted on a fleet
horse, and pursued by a squad of Uhlans,
succeeded in jumping the German lines
and was kindly concealed by the sisters
in a convent near Saumur until' the
armistice was declared. Then I started
for Bordeaux.
Throughout the stormy sessions of that
remarkable assembly there were gath
ered in that beautiful city of the Gironde
all of the foremost men of France, Thiers,
Jules Favre, Grevy, Simon, Rochefort,
Dupanloup and others of equal fame
among tho number. The elective body
finally accepted the humiliating terms of
the German conqueror amid the increas
ing restlessness of the French people.
Nearly all of tho creat cities were agita
ted by labor troubles, socialistic demon
strations and communal manifestoes It
was in such a dark hour that MacGahan
and I went up to Paris on the first train
that entered the capital from the south
west, to find the people dark, gloomy
and sombre, sallow in skin, irresolute in
gait and savage in aspect, when pleasant
ly greeted; and all of this as the net out
come of an unhappy termination of a
five months' siege, when threatened
starvation even went to the poiut in some
instances of eating human flesh. Turbu
lent signs began to appear immediately in
the evacuation of the capital by the Ger
man corps of BlumenthaljW hicu occurred
on the Hd of March, 1871. A week later
a red flag was flying from the column of
the Bastille. The communal clubs be
gan to organize. Sedition was preached
in the cafes and the almost universal cry
of the population was for a republic,
while divers factions wanted divers forms
of anarchy. Events were not slow in
culminating. Cannon, insecurely guarded
by the regulars, were seized by the arti
aun politicians, carried away to the
weights of Montmartre, and in a twink
ling barricades rose upou tlmt naturally
fortified elevation. A few shots on the
morning of tho 18th of March, two gen
erals, Thomas and LeCompte, put to
death on Montmartre for inspecting the
communal camp, and the regular troops
withdrew from the city, and on that
beautiful Sunday morning the red flag
aas flying from tho Hotel do Ville, and
than began a ten weeks' rein of one of
the mot frightful chapters in French
history one, too, that came near being
repented throughout France and, indeed,
in the great capitals where the tendency
was for revolutionary and democratic
forms.
I w-ill not give the details of this
bloody drama, in which MacGahan and
myself were called upon, from our pecu
liar duties and associations, to net rather
conspicuous and unwelcome parts, beyond
saying that we were in the secrets of the
communists . from the moment they
took possession of the city until the last
of them the leaders were either sum
marily shot on capture, subsequently ex
ecuted after trial by drum-head court
martial, or become forced exiles or de
ported convicts in the South Pacific
colonies of France. Mounted on horse
back, we rode daily along the lines of the
commune forces, which at their max
imum, reached as high ns 200,000 men,
and were constantly under fire during the
day time, watching the slow progress of
the troops of Mac.Mahon advancing by
barricade toward the ramparts, with the
aid of scige guns and the other expedi
ents of approach toward a walled city.
During this kind of activity life in Paris
was not without its charms. The April
and May weather was delightful in the
citv, and the boulevards and cafes were
sufficiently deserted to give an air of
novelty to the lightest-hearted people in
Europe.
It is a mistake to suppose that the
general life of the city was disorderly
during the reign of the communal body.
In"act their ephemeral and subsequently
bloody council did some very curious
things. It shut up by stern decrer all
dram-shops. Gambling was an aristo
cratic crime, sub jecting the offender to
imprisonment, while spelling was de
clared a badge of the privileged orders
and hence relegated to the old notions of
the past. Everybody could spell as they
might chooe, and it is a curious fact
that, while the French academy was dis
cussing the question whether the word
"hypothenuse" should be spelled with
or without the "h." the decree abolish
ing spellingjwas bulletined at the Hotel de
Ville. Wnr and promoters of war were
to be considered as assassins and outlaws,
and at the very moment when this was
announced as the law of Paris, the body
of legislators promulgating it were de
manding monev from the bank of France
and the leading railway corporations
centreing in Paris wherewith to
purchase munition, pay their sol
diers thirty cents a day and
otherwise defray the expenses of their
civil and military carnage. During this
period MacGahan and myself were
quartered in the Place Vendome, with
our horses nnd messengers, and daily
appeared publicly on horseback or in the
cafes with prominent leaders of the re
volt, and thus, of course, became marked
men by the mouchards of the regular
government. It was part of our business
to be friendly with them, and many a
fine breakfast did I have with Bergeret
nnd his wife nnd family in the Palais de
Bourbon, in the very salon, too, that was
previously reserved for the kings, em
perors and presidents' of France ; and I
suspect it would have been a harder fate
for me if it were known subsequently,
when arrested, how much of the rare old
imperial vintages we despoiled at the
matutinal feasts, when we drank, of
course, to the success of our hosts, with
howsoever a hypocritical smile. After
the long and bitter struggle which the
Commune made to retain possession of
the city, the Versailles or regular army
of MacMahon entered by the Porte
Maillot on the morning of the 22d of
May, this gate having been betrayed by
a treacherous Communist for immunity
and the gift of 500,000 francs. Thence
forth and until the 1st of June, w hen a
state of peace was proclaimed and posted
on the walls of Paris, announcing the
triumph of the regular troops, there
transpired the bloodiest week in the his
tory of the city since tho days when
Ca?sar was there with his Roman legions.
On the morning of tho 2:5d. all of the
important palaces and public buildings
were fired by decree of the committee of
public safety ; the archbishop and sixty
and more priests were summarily shot as
hostages in the prison yard of La Ro
quet te, and it seemed as if that imperial
anil beautiful capital would burn down to
an utter ruin. Explosions were of mo
mentary occurrence; the cutters were lit
erally running with blood, and in all of
the great and celebrated quarters of Paris,
corpses and wounded were lying t:s they
fell. In the midst of this carnage the
bombardment was tierce, and monument
al buildings, like the Tuileries. the Lou
vre, the Madeleine and the Triumphal
Arch were being bruised and battered,
while the facades of historical structures
were falling amid flame and smoke. Such
wildness, devastation and destruction
were never surpassed. It was at this mo
ment, and while MacGahan and I were
seated at dinner in an American pension
in the Rue Coumartin, that a troop of sol
diers entered the dining-room and rude-"
ly seized us, together with two American
ladies who were under our protection, and
told us we were under arrest for being
implicated with tho communal leaders,
for tirmr on the troops and in many
ways aiding and abetting the insurrec
tion. Both of us had on our persons a
score or more of communal and bloody
passes signed by such chiefs as Bcrcjeret
Cluseret, Domhrowski, Dclaeldze, Rossel
and Raoul Rigalut, the prince of fiends
of the entire revolt. By a clever ex
pedient we managed to leave these
behind us; otherwise we would have
lieeu hhot in the street below, as the
order was to t ike no prisoners, whatever,
their nationality, whose concern in tho
commune was unmistakable, aud to this
line of conduct the invaders ruthlessly
adhered, nnd many an innocent so journer
in Paris was shot down and carted off to
a nameless grave, doubtless, to be num
bered among his friends as "missing."
From the dining-room we were closely
guarded to the streets below, with the
ladie, who were numbered as co-con
spirators, and thus while surrounded by
fixed bayonets pricking our very skins,
and with bare heads, nnd followed by a
howling mob crying for our blood, we
were marched to the Boulevard, where the
crowd, augmented to thousands, the wild
whoop for revenge increasing at every
step. It was a curious part of the ex
perience on our way to the military head
quarters of General Vinois, the governor
of Paris, thnt the very shopkeepers res
taurateurs, barbers and newspaper venders
of whom we had been liberal patrons
were the loudest in their denunciations
nnd demands for our lives. With our
ladies crying in mortal terror, and our
selves gloomy about the chance of
life, we arrived nt the prison pen in
the Place Vendome, where they were
making up the squnds to be shot. It was
a brief ceremony that was undergone by
the captain in charge. He filled out tho
charge, name, address and occupation,
and then his duty was done. MacGahan,
who undertook to speak for the party,
tried to explain our position, which the
gruff captain heard with impatience,
when my friend handed him a letter from
Archbishop Dupanloup, one of the most
famous prelates of France, and turning to
me said: "I think that will fetch the
brute." The captain rushed on MacGahan
for speaking English, which he did not
understand, and began a vigorous as
sault ; while the bayonets closed about us.
We were taken down from this apartment
crowded with thieves, communial incen
diaries and tho riff-raff of Paris, at 10
o'clock at night, and placed in one of the
death squads, numbering about twenty.
But before it could be marched out to
ward Versailles, when we were to be de
spatched on the way, Minister Washburne
arrived, saw General Vinois just fifteen
minutes before the appointed time, and
explained who and what we were. He
had been informed of our imminent peril
by his private secretary, who had wit
nessed our arrest, and had come from a
distant part of Paris nt great danger to
his life and with remarkable luck in turn
ing the barricades. Altogether it was a
fortunate train of circumstances that saved
the lives of the quartette, at a time when
all Paris was delirious with rage and
thousands of rash but innocent foreigners
went involuntarily to their final sleep.
Alcan S. Southicorth, in Mail and Ex
press. Birds and Bonnets.
In view of the fact that the destruction
of birds for millinery purposes it at pres
ent attracting general attention, the ap
pended list of native birds seen on hats
worn by ladies in tho streets of New
York, may be of interest. It is chiefly
the result of two late afternoon wlks
through the uptown shopping districts,
nnd, while very incomplete, still gives an
idea of the species destroyed and the
relative numbers of each :
Robin 4
Brown thrush 1
Bluebird 3
Blaekburnian warbler 1
Blaekpoll warbler 3
Wilson's black -capped flycatcher 3
r al lot tanager 3
White-bellied swallow 1
Boliemian wax wing 1
Waxwiug 2:t
Great northern shrike 1
Bine Grosbeak 1
Snow bunting ......15
Tree sparrow 2
White-throated sparrow 1
Bololiuk 1
M -n(low lark 2
Baltimore oriole 9
Purple Graekle 5
Blue jay fl
Swallow tailed flycatcher 1
Kingbird.... 1
Kingfisher 1
Pileatel woodpecker 1
Red-headed woodpecker 2
Golden-winged woodpecker 21
Acadian owl 1
Carolina dove 1
Pinnated grouse 1
Hulled grouse.... 2
Quail lii
Hamlet quail 2
Sanderliug 5
Big yellowlegs 1
Green heron 1
Virginia rail 1
Laughing pull 1
Coinmou gull 21
Black teru. 1
Grebe T
It is evident that, in proportion to the
number of hats seen, tho list of birds
given is very small: but in most cases
mutilation rendered identification impos
sible. Thus, while one afternoon 700 hats
were counted and on them but twenty
birds recognized, 542 were decorated (?i
with feathers of some kind. Of the 158
remaining, seventy-two were worn by
young or middle-aged ladies, and eighty
six by ladies in mourning or elderly
ladies, or:
Percentage of hats with feath&is 77
Without feathers 10
Without feathers. worn by ladies in mourn
ing or elderly ladies 13
Forest ami stream.
Hard on Father.
A tombstone in a AVestern Massachu
setts cemetery bears the following some
what ambiguous epitaph :
"Here lies the mother of children seven,
Three on earth and four in Heaven;
Those w ho died desiring rather
Togo with mother than to live with father.'
This seems a little rough on the old
man, but those who knew say that no
lack of affection foi "fi.thcr" inspired
the verse. The deceased children be
longed to that phenonieual class tif in
fants who desire the glory of tho world
beyond to a longer sojourn iu this.
The Nightingale's Song.
This is part of a French naturalist's at
tempt to slate th3 nightingale's song
there are twenty-one lines more, by the
way :
Did Bouei tiou, tiou, tiou, tout, tiou,
iserr, suit, sorrserr sorr toi rs del mou,
Quito ktu lau U u lau lau luu lau besc,
V'eui biourre biourre, beviereaiuboiou.
The last slave was sold in Virginia ia
the tjjrinj of 1865 for 100 cabbage pUuts.
THE HOME OF PRESIDENTS.
A T017B THROUGH THE BOOMS O? j
THE "WHITE HOUSE.
Uciuitles oT the Ktecntlve Mansion
Tlio Parlors Handsome Hall
way h President's Diniiig-lloom.
I'pthe steps of the portico and through
the large entrance vestibule, we see an
inner corridor separated from it by a
handsome screen of glass mosaic. It is
in itself a spacious apartment, eighteen
feet wide and 100 long, reaching from
the middle of the east room at one end
to the conservatory nt tho other. South
of this corridor Are three parlors, named
respectively tho Green room, Blue
room and Red room, from the prevailing
color of decorations and furniture. West
of the Red parlor, at the extreme south
western end of the mansion, is the state
dining-room, and on tho north side of
the corridor, directly opposite, we find
the President's private dining-room,
which occupies with butler's pantry and
the servants' waiting room immediately
adjoining the northwest front of the
building. Under this room, iu the base
ment, is the kitchen. On the north side
of the corridor is also situated the private
staircase leading to the chambers. This
portion of the corridor, which is the
length of the state dining-room, can be
separated at will from the more public
and longer portion on the east, by double
doors of inlaid mahogany.
This long hall-way is an important
part of the White House, nnd is treated
accordingly. It is only lighted in the
day time by tho doors opening into
the parlors and from the open arches
over the jeweled screen, so that no
photographer has been able to secure a
good picture. The walls, painted a
warm cream-gray, are finished with a
stenciled frieze, two feet deep, light
green, gold and crimson, in conventional
designs. The ceiling, a lighter tint of
gray, is covered with figures in mixed
colors, interspersed with brown and
silver decorations in relief. A large
semi-circular niche in the wall immedi
ately opposite the front entrance and
screen door, is gilded and contains a cir
cular table of ebony and marble.
The crimson Axminister carpet, well
covered with small figures of a deeper
shade, imparts a richness of tone which
is very desirable in the half-light of ths
day, and which responds, at niuht, to the
light of three immense crystal chande
liers. The furniture frames are ebony;
the fabric, cream-colored brocade figured
with shaded crimson. On the walls hang
tho portraits of most of the Presidents,
save that of Washington, which is in the
East room, and those of Van Buren, J. Q.
Adams and Arthur in the Red parlor
and of Jefferson in the Library room
above. In the western angles the bu -ts
)f Washington and Hamilton, on pedes
tals of ebony, gaze with sightless eyes
upon the ever-changing panorama.
The private corridor on the west is
fitted up still more like a reception room.
Each' corner angle is cut off by a tall
cabinet of ebony, containing faieuce and
plants in majolica holders; doorways are
hung with portieres of Turkoman, in
brown, yellow and crimson, with hori
zontal stripes, and there are East lake
chairs of ebony with seats and backs of
embossed leather. A hexagon table with
rosewood frame and marble top, accord
ing to tradition, was frequently used by
Jackson, when he lived in the White
House, about the only article, in this part
of thefbuilding, left from that compara
tively late period. The wall tints of tho
private corridor are darker than those of
the larger one a kind of greenish gray
with a parti-colored Japanese frieze,
thirty inches deep. The broad staircase
with one long landing, leading to the sec
ond story, is finished with a hand rail and
balusters of mahogany, and from the
large carved newel-post a female figure in
bronze, nearly life-size, holds, metaphori
cally a torch, in reality a very prosaic
gas fixture. The remaining figure con
sists of a mahogany table, before a mir
ror framed in the same wood.
At tho foot of the stairs a door on the
left or north side, leads into the Presi
dent's private dininsr room. The
walls cf this room are hung with heavy
paper, imitating leather, a gilt ground
with vines of shaded olive and crimson,
and a frieze, thirty inches deep, of dark
terra-cotta stamped velvet, with
gilt molding. The ceiling is greenish
gray. The white marble chimney piece
and mantel are draped with crimson
plush, and the same fabric covers the
frame of the large plate glaxs mantel mir
ror above. Axminster carpet cf dark
green is well covered with figure in
shaded olive and crimson. The mahogany
chairs have dark grxen leather on the
seats, with backs of wood. The wood
work of tho room is painted a light tint,
of the walls. The finest features of the
room arc two large carved mahogany side
boards, one on the west side of the room,
the other on the south. The one on the
right is a fine specimen of Cincinnati
litiviii nuu times lroiu nit iiuiuiiust n- i
tion of Mr. Hayes; the other was pro-
cured when the entire room was fur
nished anew under the direction of Mr.
Arthur. Both are laden with plate and
fine sjH'cimcns of the ceramic art. All
the movable furniture anal plate of these
rooms are under the care of the steward,
who is required to give bonds to the
value of $20,000, Ix-fore entering upon
his duties. Good Jfouelwjinij.
Astor and Girard.
It litis often been said that John Jacob
Astor was, sixty years ago, tho only citi
leu of American worth 1,000,000. He
may have bosu the only New Yorker then
possessed of such a fortune, but the
wealth of Stephen Girard, of Philadel
phia, would at that time have reached at
least fij, 0(10,000. He died in 18;H, leav
ing an estate of $20,000.11011, much of it
having been accumulated within fifteen
; twenty years.
ATBAWN.
At dawn of day when cowheUa ring
0r mellowing meadowlojials, where cling
The clover-scented wreaths of mist,
Half pparl in hue, half amethyst,
Glad skybound larks leap np to sing.
And bo my heart doth heavenward spring'
When, like some virginal queen, you brlnj
Fresh opening buds by rcphyrs kissad
At dawn of day.
Tho brpath, the balm, the glow you fling,
Li:.e dewdrops from some bright bird's wing,
Thrill all my bsinf, ai I lift
To melodies that must desist,
W hen the nightfall hath discrowned me, king
At dawn of day.
John Moran, in the Currti.
HUMOR OF TIIE BAT. ,
A standing invitation Get up.
A Stockton girl says a beau on the arm
is worth two on the hat. rariftc Jtxttr.
We disapprove of broom drills. The
average woman can wield a broom too
well already. Picayune.
It has been asked, why is a doctor like
a mole? He isn't. Moles dig their own
holes; the doctor employs an undertaker.
Merch-ant- Trareltr.
Society is just like a pie. There is an
upper crust and lower crust, but the real
strength and substance lies between them.
Xeto Haten Seitt.
Chicago has a young woman who sleep"
eight days in one inning. Some women
will do almost anything to escape building
tho kitchen fire. Botton Transcript.
Explanations from the youth who was
forcibly ejected from a west side residence
the other evening are unnecessary. Tht
reason was a parent. Detroit Free Press.
'Twixt women and wine,
Man's lot is too smart ;
For wine makes his head ache,
And women his heart
(ioodalVs Sun.
It is reported that Henry Bergh is
carrying his sympathies for animals so
farthat he is cultivating a bald spot on his
head as a pasture for flies. St. Paul
HeraU.
A Philadelphia man has discovered
that the steady chewing of garlic will
insure length of life. Not if the neigh
bors know how to use their shotguns.
Fall liite-r Adtance.
"A seaman washed overboard," ex
claiemd Mrs. Fangle as she read a news
paper headline; "but he perhaps was so
dirty they hadn't enough water on the
ship." Pittsburg Chronicle.
There is said to bo a decided reaction
against flats in New York. In this part
of the country the reaction has prevailed
for a long time. It is applied with the
toe of a boot. Burlington Free Press.
There was a young lady named Wise,
Whose brain was gigantic in size,
She knew everything.
Could iiaint, dance aud sing,
But couldn't make custards and pins.
IHttxburg Gazette.
A New Y'ork dudo is dangerously ill
from mental exhaustion and over-exertion.
He attended a soap-bubble party
the other evening and blew a bubble as
large as a hickory nut. yorrutoitn
lie rail.
There is beauty in the soundless shower of
snow,
There is rhvthin in the rattle of the hail,
But I love the merry spring.
When the pretty blue birds sing,
And the early flowers begin to deck the vale,
When the gloomy winter's gone,
And the robin on tha lawn
Is a -singing and a-waggiug of his tail.
Boston Courier.
HEALTH HINTS.
A glass of cold water taken every
morning before breakfast will' keep the
stomach in order.
Cooked celery is said to be a specific
for rheumatism. Cut the celery into
small pieces and boil it until soft. The
patient should drink the water in which
it hi cooked. Serve the celery hot upon
toast.
In.case of a bite from a rabid dog, Dr.
Billings recommends that the wounds be
cauterized with strong carbolic acid. It
is much less painful and more effective
than burning with ahot iron. The wounds
will also heal in less time.
From the dangerous wounds which
often result from running a rusty nail In
the foot oa other part of the body, the
following is said to be a certain cure:
Smoke such wound, or any wound or
bruise that is inflamed, with burning
wool or woolen cloth. Twenty minutes
in the smoke or wool will take the pain
out.
(ambling at Monaco.
There is no one about to show the nov
ice the game; no one is solicited. You
play or let it alone as it pleases you, but
it generally pleases you to play just to
try the efficacy of a "system" confided
to you iu a happy moment by some san
guine tyro and warranted certain t
break the bank sooner or later, a halluci
nation which amounts to a mild form of
lunacy, most common in and alout
Monto Carlo.
Palsied old men, with their noses on
their (bins, and ancient dames who have
outlived the charms of inoco gentle pas
sions, are the most persistent gamblers;
but the ubiquitous American never fails
to be represented at aoino of the tables;
many Englishmen and a large percentage
of young Englishwomenfrom the girl
who makes a lark of hazarding her
five francs to the systematic gambling
women, are all to bo seen, but all silent
as a company of i-pectcrs.
At 11 o'clock promptly the croupier
get up, shake down the legs of their
trousers w ith the air of c lerks let off for
a holiday, the l ghls ar put out, th'
great d wis ( lose I, an i by 12 o'clock, to
all appearan -c, Monte Carlo is decor ns
ly fust a-lce;i. .. itrnnl.
In England a brewer cannot beet, no h
peer, but u peer c in l' -com u brew r