THE lOBEiT REPUBLICAN t r-nhilnhed every TV(lwcJj', by 4. Z. WCHK. Otiiia Emearbaugh & Co.'s Building rXM 8THRBT, TIONESTA, Pa. Term. ... 1.80 per Year. No wdiMiMlnni relTd for a shorter period tiita lnf ninnths, j .r.on'tTire noWcltsd from nil Jrt. of the -uUf. No nolle will be token of anonymous cii,ii:u:i1rUom. RATES OP ADVKTISIWO. Od 9tmt, on Ineh, oe hwcrtlon... .......I t M One Pqnwe, on Ine , on month. ... I 00 On flquare, ob Idc h, thre nwatk. .... M On Fqniua, on tech, on jeer 10 4 Two SquTM,ot year ........ 1 Qiuirter Column, on year....... W 0 Hair Column, o yew M M On Column, on year M LCi adTr4UBMt m Mat e Dm 4h la art to a. . J Ky v Marrisjr and death BoUe i All bill for TMliT td VOL. XVIII. KO. 37. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY. JANUARY 6. 1886. $1.50 PER ANNUM. leriy. 'l Knpsnry IHthImmb bm fee iw bj Jo rorkMB darr. (SIM i ii A FLIOII7. Out In fchn country the belli wero ringing, Out in the field! was a child at play, And up to heaven a lark went tinging Blithe and free on that morn of May. And the child looked up as she beard the InRing, Watching the lark ai It soared away: "Oh, ww,t Inrk, toll me, hoav'nward wing ing. Shall I go also to heaven one day P Deep In the bade of a mighty city, Tolled a woman for dally bread, Only the lark to am her and pity, Binding all day 1n a cage o'erhead. And there they dwelt In the gloom together, Prisoned and punt in the narrow street, But the bird still tang of the goltbn weather And the woman dreampt of her childhood tweet. Still in herdreami the belle wera ringing, Still a child in the fields was she; A J -l. - ... " openea mo cage as the lark was '"Kin", Kissed bim gently and sot him free. And up and en aa the bird went ilnging, Down cam a Toice that seemed to say, "K'tti as tli lark that is heavn'ward wing Thou shalt go also to hear'n one day. ' F. G Veatherli,in Castell JIEU FIRST ENGAGEMENT. BT KRANCRS EDWARDS. A very pretty gray team and a rather old fashioned basket phaeton Blood in front of a largo, cream-brick house on Clifton avenue, one Tuesday morning in laic Juno. The air and sunshine and ky wero perfect. A most tempting morning for a drive. The owner of the turnout, ColoDel Baker, was within the mansion soliciting Miss Hazel Traft'a compnny for a drive. The young- lady had not the slightest objection to going with him. lie wm an old friend of her father's, an amusing story-teller and very fond cf his horses. He was called "Colonel," not from any connection with military life, but it was a title received in his early boyhood aays ana it bad clung to him as nick names and titles of this sort often do. As for Miss Hazel, she was an un spoiled child of sixteen, with a morry laugh, bright, brown eyes and hair that "fru..led" about her face, cheeks whey the color came and went like the rose fiu.h in an evening sky. She had no ex traordinary talents and gave promise of nono, except the talent of being charm ing1 girlish and exceedingly feminine in all her tastes. She wa at that happy stago. of. young llf just be ginning to have "admirers." Her dear friend, Eme Longstrcet, had said at parting the week before on graduat - ing day: "Now,' dear, at the first symp tom of an engagement you write mo, and I'll do tho same to you: and be sure and accent yonr first otTer. It always brings good luck in the eud, and even if it isn't just what you desire, you know it is al ways easy to break an engagement." With this sage advice reposing in her mini, lla.el kept her eyes open to the possible advent of a lover, though she felt very bhy, and in fact dreaded a pro posal outside of her own dreams. The colonel she did not regard in the light of an admirer. Ho was older than her father, and had been married twice a... ad y, which ought to be enough for any sane man, she thought. Presently they came out of the house and he holpod her into the carriage Very lovely she looked in a pale ecru dress, and a hat to match with a flaming bunch of poppies low down on one side. "Which way shall we got" he said, as he took up the reins. "Oh! I don't care anywhere so that we can go fast you know I don't like to poke along." This sly maiden well knew that the colonel always liked to drive fast. She gave him a quick glance and a little laugh. "Yet, weil, have you been out to the park lately? Nol Suppose we go out then; there is plenty of room and good roads," he added. "Very well. That will be delightful 1 and say, when the horses are going real nice won't you let me drive just a little? I think I am a good driver," with an other upward glance, "and with you here, colonel, thore could be no possible danger." So thev went spinuing along unfre quented driven and lovely shady places. The colonel prided himself on the rapid, even git of his favorites. Hazel had her wish to drive granted. She pressed her little foot against the rod and held the reins until her arms were "all tired out." Theu the colonel took them again and turned the horses toward Clifton avenue, Hazel chatting away about-her friend Eme, and the lovely time she would have when she would visit her next month. Ou the way down the avenue they met Dr. Wliitebeck, driving slowly, and bent over in his seat, meditatively eying the dashboard, as if profoundly considering some scientific theory or studying the latest "treatment of a case." The mo ment he looked up anU saw them, he grasped his whip. The horse gave a start, which nearly threw the doctor over backward, and weut furiously up the street. "Deuce take that colonel!" he mut tered under his breath. "What business has he to be dri-ing her out so much?" Then with a grim smile and a long drawn, breiith, "It's none of my business, though, none whatever, if she rides to the end ol thq earth wiih him." This young mn hud met Hazel tho summer before while visifing a school friend. He was proud, poor, reserved aud ambitious a aelfmade' mau but uucomfot table in society. He lacked the Skse an J polish that many an unworthy, weak man possesses, who is brought up in the habits of refined society. ITe felt this lack , keenly overestimated his "barbarism" as he called his unpolished style. It was a singular fact that in the sick room he never felt any of these sensa tions, but was self-possessed, calm, masterful. Many ladies who considered Dr. Whitbeck dull and disagreeablo on a first introduction, modified their ideas at ones on seeing his tenderness and skill with a patient. Hazel first saw him, by accident, binding up the broken leg of a dog one day when she was out for a walk in the country. His goodness to this little stray creature touched her heart, and his manly lorm and open face beaming in telligence and kindness as he arose from his cramped position on the ground 1m- Eressed ber strongly. She went up to im like a child, without embarrassment or hesitation, and spoke of what he had been doing. It followed In the conversation that be knew her friends with whom she was stopping, and walked home with her. They were introduced, though, as Hazel said, "it was entirely superfluous after such an extensive acquaintance." Al most every day during the remainder of the summer they were companions, rid ing, walking, fishing, sailing. Dr. Whitbeck was more at his ease in the open air. His scientific knowledge often came Into use, and he grew to be a sort of hero a skilled hero in her eyes; she thought there was nothing ho did not know and could not do. To him this child-woman grew more charming every day. Her innocence and open admiration for him was quite too much for his reserve, which melted completely away in the sunshine of her presence. She was such a lovable little maiden, with her merry Irugh and ready sympathy. He did not realize how he had opened his heart to her and the strength of his passion until it was too late. When he did see his danger with strange fatuity he said to himself: "She does not know it. I ll make- no resist ance now, but go on and be happy in ine p.esent, as 1 shall probably never again know happiness in my life." So they had parted without one word of love being spoken. The following winter Dr. Whitbeck had commenced practicing in tho same ; i u I r i : i ' 1 , 1 : Miy ffucio iiaxei ijvcu. out) uioi uiui occasionally and invited him to call, but be was always busy and a strange cool ness grew up between them. He actually seemed to avoid her. She thought with a woman's sensitiveness that she had been silly and foolish, and he regarded her as too trilling a piece of humanity to be worthy of his least attention, so with equal coolness she studiously avoided him. The summer days slipped , away, she and the colonel enjoying many a drive in Sylvan Park. She made a Visit to Eftic aud came home looking prettier, if fiossible, than ever. With her thorough y hopeful disposition and perfect health she seemed to radiate happiness. Autumn came and early winter, still she had received proposals not one. Her young gentlemen friends did not find it easy to make advances with her in spite of her frankness and . seeming pleasure in their society. The only person who really enjoyed her confidence was the colonel, whom she regarded as a sort of father -confessor. However, the fatal day came at last. She and the colonel ha'd been out for one of their numerous drives. . They had been unusually merry, the colonel be having much like a young boy. On bringing her home, he came in ostensi bly to "get warm." Standing with his back to the tire and his hands folded be hind him, and his feet wide apart, he regarded Hazel in an abstracted way as she threw off her wraps, dropping" her cloak on a chair, her hat on a sofa, dragging a scarf over a stand and leav ing a mitten on the floor. ... Suddenly bringing his heels together with a click and raising himself up oa his toes and letting himself down again, be said -. "Come here, child, 1 want to tell you something." Hazel came over to wbero he was standing, and, dropping into a chair, looked up with expectation in her eyes. The colonel took a step, wheeled around facing her and s:iid in a deprecating way, "I don't know how to tell you, I am not an eloquent man not much of a man anyway but I I love you, have loved you since you wero a wee child. Perhaps I suppose I do seem old to you, but I feel younger thsn I did at twenty. I do so long to devote the remainder of my life to you, darling, could you? Do you think you could be my wife?" Hazel, at first dumbfounded and feel ing a strong inclination to laugh and cry both, tried in vain to collect her wits. Her first offer! And Colonel Baker, with his queer wavs and bald head standing there with that ridiculous quaver in his voice! It was too much! "No," she cried, springing up. "How could you ever think I would consent to such a thing?" Then a sense of all his goodness and worth it mingled a feeling of pity at his distress came over her, and clasp ing the palms of her hands together, she said, brokenly: "Oh! you are so good. 1 like you. I am very sorry, but I am sure no I don't think I could make you happy." "My dear child," he said, with sudden courage, taking her clasped hands iu his, "is there any one whom you care more for?" "Mo, oh, no!" she said, blushing and then suddenly paling. "There ia no one." "Then let me have an opportunity to win your love. I can't give you up, dear. The thought of you has entered so entirely iuto my life that I cannot go away without a little hope. You do not hale ms, little one?" "No, no!" she said, in distress, "but I- "Never mind, don't try io explain yourself or your feelings. Let every thing be just as it always has. Remem ber that I love you and let me come and see you often." Pressing two fervent kisses on her hands, he shot out of the door and was off before Hazel had time to turn around. She gathered up her things and went straight to her room. Then she threw herself into a large wicker chair and be gan rocking herself violently and scream ing with laughter. This was succeeded by fits of crying, and again more laugh ter and tears, until exhausted, she droppod asleep in her chair with her head resting on tho broad arm. When awakened late in tho day by her cramped position and a raging headache, she was too miserable to think, or offer any re sistence, when her sister insisted on put ting her to bed. It was so unusual for her to be ill. In the days that followed Hazel was alternately merry and sad, very talkative or absolutely silent for hours together. She ate little and seemed restless and nervous in the house, would start when ever the door bell rang, and if it hap pened to be Colonel Baker, she always tried to escape to her room, and was in variably "engaged or "not at home." Sha spent much time out of doors, tak ing long walks even on severely cold days. Her face grew pinched and lost its color. How long this state of affairs would have continued it is impossible to say. But for the intervention of an accident, tho colonel's efforts to win her love would probably have never ceased to this day. Hazel was coming up the street one day from tho postotlice. There had been a storm of sleet and snow the day before and the walks wero treacherously slippery. She was looking over her letters when suddenly, right on a crossing, her foot slipped. There was a horse coming around tho corner. She never knew just what happened ; she struck something and felt herself being lifted, while a well known voice said, "My God! I have killed her! Oh, my darling! My dar ling l" Then all sensation vanished. Some time later, when consciousness returned, sho found herself in bed with a frightened, tearful group around ber and Dr. Whitebeck calmly pouring some thing down her throat. He had just put her displaced shoulder in order, and she felt a terrible dizziness in her head. Then ho ordered everybody out of tho room and lowered a window, saying she must have more air. Ho wrote out his prescriptions and was ready to leave. He stepped to the side of the bed. Hazel's eyes were closed, but the tears were run ning down her temples. He set his teeth together, but it was no use. "Forgive me!" ho said, in a tone of agonized entreaty. "Oh, God 1 I might have kiiled you." Hazel opened her eyes very wide. She gave him a look which said plainly: "I love you," and with & faint smilo closed her eyes again. In a moment he was on his knees be side the bed, and, quivering with long repressed passion, he exclaimed: "Hazel, Hazel, mydarllngl Do vou love me? Do you? Tell me, love I Oh?" he went on, "I never meant to tell you this; not until I had something more to offer than an empty hand; but I love you with all the strength of ray being. Do you forgive me?" She smiled again and said, "There is I nothing to forgive, dear." Then he bent over and kissed her again, oh, so fondly. "Tell me, dear est, that you will be mine some day. I must hear you say it. " "Oh," she answered with a little sigh, oi cappiness, "I am entirely yours." There ia little more to tell. Her recov ery was rapid, with a physician and lover in one. The colonel found out his mistake. But at the wedding Hazel whispered to her first bridesmaid, Eftie, that she thought first proposals lucky. The colonel had sent her a lovely dia mond bracelet for a wedding present. Detroit lre Prtts. The Rich Han's Advantage. Did you ever consider that it costs the rich man less proportionately to live than the poor man? Well, it does, and a soulless corporation buys things in the market at prices wnich you or I could never get. Hero at Washington the street cars Aud hsrdics sell tickets good tor six rides for a quarter, while the usual fare is five cents apiece. In riding on them you will notice that the rich man always pays bis fare in tickets, while the poor man pays in cash, though it costs about a cent more per ride. The poor man buys his groceries by the quar ter of a peck, and in Washington ha pays at the rate of $1.28 for a bushel of potatoes, while his rich neighbor across the way gets the same in quantities of one bushel for about seventy-five cents. If you will ride upon our great railroads you will find it is the rich man who has the passes. The poor man pays his fare, and never buys a return ticket. At a first-class hotel a man notoriously rich gets one of the best rooms in the house, at.a rate no higher than that which his country neighbor pays ia the attic, and in the West, especially, the man of capital ia carted around free, feted and toadied, white the man without pays for everything, and gets no thanks for it. Cleveland Leader. ' , The Last Dollar. Oh, the world looks so bleak and the sky looks so bare When the last dollar is gone, And a man's whole physique takes an aspect of care W hen the la.-it dollar is gone. Then the Jew aud the Uremic, and the plain and th ftur, Feel as mua aa a sneak and a fierce aa a bear When ihe last dollar U gonn. i Lynn lTniot . MEXICO'S PRIMEVAL WOODS BOMB or TtfB VEGETABLE WOSSESS Or VEKA CRUZ. What sa Traveler Raw Foreata strange In Primeval Bind Useful I'lanu ana Treos. Fannie B. Ward, in a letter describing a visit to an isolated region of the state of Vera Cruz, Mexico, says: The forest abounds in a species of magnolia, here known as yoloxochltl, covered with lovely, sweet-smelling flowers, which are pinkish while outside and yellow within. The petals, before full blown, assume the form of a cross, and afterward of a splendid star. The superstitious Indians never fail to cross themselves and mutter an ave at sight of one . They tell us that an infusion of tbo glittering leaves is a certain cure for vomito and diarrhea, arid that its flowers will relieve palpita tion of the heart. Among the myriad vines is one with scarlet leaves that is always found encircling tho stems of the mag nolia, tho celebrated "water plant," called by the Mexicans the ''Easter flower." In case of diro necessity, its large red leaves would appease hunger, but its chief mission ia that of nature's cup bearr. It treasures the priceless dew within its hollowed leaves, and pre sents to thirsty travelers a never-failing store. Our pious guides and servants, believing it to be a boon direct from heaven, because of the cross and star upon tho yoloxochitl, wero perpetually imbibing the moisture between fervent orisons, till tho wonder grew how their distended stomachs could contain so much. The valuable vanilla bramfolia is indi genous to these humid groves, and is carefully sought during certain seasons by tho Indians of the tierra caliente. It is now produced only in the States of Vera Cruz and Oaxaca, though (accord ing to Baron Humboldt, Europe received its entire supply of thia commodity from Mexico prior to 1812. Tho aro matic fruited plant was assiduously cul tivated by those ancient tribes, the To tonaca, who once inhabited all this coast region. Though it requires little care nothing but shade and moisture being necessary to its existence and is to-day more valuable than in the days when Montezuma and his Aztec nobles traded for it with the Totonacs, it is no longer grown to any great extent. . But it still springs up out of sight in the wilderness, and flourishes at its best in hidden jungles on the eastern declivity of the Vera Cruz Cordilleras. Tho Indiana who re side hereabouts in their primitive vil lages are restricted by stern laws from gathering the neglected plant at will. The vanilla harvest begins in March and ends in May, and during that season the al calde of. every ' hamlet apportions to each man hia quarto of labor and profit carefully looking out for his own lion's share of the proceeds. The delicate poas every one oi wMcn has a sure marketable value are watched with great solicitude while being dried in the sun ana made ready for shipping, to protect them from mold, mice and in sects. Here, too, the Jallap abounds, a tiny plant, with slender branches and heart-shaped leaves, tineod with red. hiding here and there a blossom of vio let blue. It is called by the natives tolonpatl, and takes its European name from the old town, Jalapa, near which it was discovered in Cortex's time. This beautiful convolvulus springs up BDon taneously on all the mountains of South ern Mexico, having taproots of pear-like shape. Unfortunately, the Indians de stroy it by tearing away its tubercles, and the day is not distant when the drug will become more scarce than the quina tree. A mon a tho manv trees which were Hitherto unknown to us are wild cuavas. a sort of myrtle, growing naturally in the higher altitudes of the tropics, and nere attaining a Height of several feet. Its fruit, which seldom ripens before be ing eaten by birds and larvie, is luscious and indescribably fragrant. Everybody is fond of green guavas, but few have ever had opportunity to test their tnste with the fruit when fully ripened. They are in great favor among physicians, be cause of their astringent and anti febrile properties; and guava jelly, as all the world knows, is one of the necessities of a travelor'a outfit. When cultivated the shrub changes its appearance so greatly as to be scarcely recogui.abie; its branches grow longer, its leaves acquire a suveiy lining, and its fruit becomes as large as lemons, much resembling the latter in shape and color. In these forests nutmeg trees are found in great profusion, though becoming ex tremely rare in other portions of Mexico. The natives use au enormous quantity of Malucca nutmeg, both as remedy and a condiment their chief medicines beinsr these, camphor and asafoetida, but with characteristic improvidence they neglect natures benefits, and buy what thev might easily raise. Here also are count less lime trees, the wood of which is valued by the Indiana for making those various odds and ends which are sold by thousands all over Mevico. In Europe these trees have been so changed by horticulture that they scarcely appear to belong to the same species as their breth ren in tha virgin woods. Across the ocean the bark is used for well ropes, and tho charcoal made from it is preferred to any other for the manu facture of gunpowder. Then here is the "vegetable butter" tree, the Avacadopear, the fruit of which yields a soft rich pulp of buttery nature. It is pear-shaped, light green inside, and called by the Indians ahuacate. It can never be eaten as fruit, but is so inimita ble for salads that New York epicures frequently pay as high as f 3 for a single pear, for sometimes the fruit comes to your markets from Cuba. Strange to say, this vegetable butter tree belongs to the laurel family, but is the only mem ber of it which produces anything edi ble. First there is the bttf treo (.iaurus , novilis), the leaves of which are indii reusable in French eookery, while itt berries yield an oil much prized in medi cines; next comes laums camnhora, from the leaves of which camphor is ex tracted; then laurus clnnamomum, th bark of which is called cinnamon, and lastly, sassafras, the aromatic wood said to bo a powerful sudorific. The forests are full of wild dahlias, growing about three feet high, and pro ducing only single blossoms of pale yel low. They are perennial in Mexico, and from this country wero first carried across tho sea. Tho double flowers, with their hundred tints and varieties, have beon produced by cultivation, and many a wealthy Maxican, who imports hit garden dahlias from Europe at great ex pense, has not the remotest idea that the plant is indigenous to his own soil. Dahlia roots are a staple article of food among the Indians, who eat them boiled and salted. Though somewhat insipid to the taste, they are decidedly prefera ble to wild potatoes; and perhaps the day ia coming when these bulbs, made succulent by horticulture, will furnish our tables with a new delicacy. An Island-Ship. Ths Island of Ascension, in the South Atlantic, belongs to the British admi ralty, and is enrolled in the list of ships in commission under the title of "the tender to H. M. S. Flora." This origina ted In the fact that a vessel of that name was once anchored off the island as a store ship, and part of tho stores wero kept on shore. Naval discipline is main tained, but a few ladies, wives of the officers exiled to this barren spot, are allowed to remain here, submitting to naval routine, which includes all lights out by 10 p. u. There is no water, ex cept intermittent collections of rain or dew, insufficient for the needs of the in habitants. Nothing can be cultivated, though a few green things grow on the peak of one of the higher hills and some narrow ravines which concentrate the scanty dews and showers. Sea turtles and terns (locally known as "wide awakes") are the sole edible productions. Cows are brought there, and at first sup ply a small quantity of milk, which is reserved for the hospital. Should there be a surplus, it is sold, a bell being rung to announce the event, but nobody is allowed to buy more than one gill. After a time the milk dries up, and the cow is turned into beef to save her from starving to death. An American returning to England left his steamer and went ashore to look at the island, and came near running against an officer with flaxen whiskers, who suddenly issued from a building. The officer raised his eyeglass, looked at the stranger with astonishment, and, before the latter could apologize, called out: , 4 "Simmons!" A bearded seaman, responding "Ay, ay, sir," appeared on the. scene. The officer continued: "Simmons, do you know what this person wants, or who he is 1" "No, sir; I can't say, I'm suro, sir." The American began to explain: "Sir, I am a citizen of the United" The naval man interrupted him, and said: "Simmons, do you think he u a stowaway?" "Can't say, sir, I'm sure," replied the imperturbable Simmons. . "Is there a merchant steamer at anchor here?" "Yes, sir; Cape mail, sir." "Well, Simmons, just tro the oflicerof the watch, and ask him If he has given permission to any person to board us. And er see what this person wants. " The American, now very angry, began again: "Sir, I am" ' He was again interrupted by the offi cer: "Simmons, I am engaged now; I cannot see this person. Perhaps you had better take him to the officer of the watch." And he wentjofl before all the terrors of the United States could be launched upon his bead; while the sea man, grinning respectively when his superior's back was turned, conducted the irate Yankee to the officer at the landing place, witb whom bo had but just come ashore. Sociable fellows, out British cousins, even upon a desert island. Science. The Age of Fishes. It is not generally known that thero is hardly any limit to the age of a fish. Professor Baird.of the United States fish commission, is the authority of your cor respondent for the statement that there is authentic evidence to show that carp have attained an age of 200 years. Pro fessor Baird also aays that there is a tradition that within fifty years a pike was living in Russia whose age dated back to the fifteenth century. "There is nothing," he savs, "to prevent a fish from living almost indefinitely, as it has no period of maturity, but grows with each year of life." There are gold fish in this city that have belonged to one family for over fifty years. They do not appear to be much larger than when they were originally placed ia the aauarium. and are every bit as lively as they were wnen young, ihere are so many fish stories in circulation that the ordinary reader has almost made up his mind that fish and truth do not go well together. Probably some persons will doubt what ia said by Professor Baird about the age fish can attain. If they do, they are simply doubting the best known au thority on fish, ine itussian minister' says that in the royal aquariums in St. Petersburg thero are fish to-day that have been known by the records to have been in them 140 years. Some of them arc, he savs, over five times as large as they were when first captured,, while others have not grown an inch in length. An attache of the Chinese legation cor roborates this statement. He says there are sacred hen kept in some of the palaces in China that are even older than any of those in Russia. A'eue York Herald. WSSTWA RD-B91 "Oh, where are you gofng,my pretty fair maid?" "I'm polng to Bisroark, sir,'7sh said, "A town far away in Daketa," "May I go with you, my pretty maid" "There are too many men there now,n sha said, "I'm told, for the fmlnlne queta." "And what will you do there, my pretty maid I" "Oh, that was"Iettlsd long since, air," she aid; "I shall marry a wealthy young far mer." "Are you going alone thore, my pretty maid?" "There's a couple of thousand behind n, she said, "But I am the charmingest charmer." "Oh, why don't you marry bere, my pretty maid?'' u 'Cause no one has asked me to, sir," she said, -. "And I am a couple and twenty." "But, why- you hurry so, my pretty maid?" (, " 'Tls a race for a man, you know, sir," she said, "Aud I must get lh:re while they're plenty." "V. Columeus ZK"vatcK HUMOR OF THE DAT. The Prince of Wails The new baby. A motto which undertakers do not be lieve In Live and let live. The butcher may be regarded as a help meat to the human family. In many boarding houses tho torture at the steak is still adhered to. Tailors will give you fits, but it re quires a lawyer to run up a suit. It is all well enough to preach "peace on earth and good will to men," but no man can feel that way with a boil on his nose. Chicago Ledger. "Tell me, Thomas, how many voyage aiound the world did Captain Cook make?" "Three." "Correct. And on which of these voyages was he killed?" Puek. A poet sings, " Where are the girls et the pat?'r And over them makes aaitMi a fnsa. Be may sing If be like of tbo girls of the past, But the girls of the present for us. Botton OourUr. The greatest punishment to a prisoner ia enforced idleness, but, the greatest trial a woman can undergo is to have a new bonnet in the house on a rainy Sun day. Chicago Ledger. There is no great difference between the average young lady possessed of a musical education and the squeaking toy. They both have have to be pressed to sing. Botton Trantipt. The sporting fraternity have grown to respectable of late that a young lady whoso father is in the undertaking busi ness now speaks ,of her parent as a pro fessional boxer. Botton TranecripU Said the magistrate to an actress: "Your profession, madsmoiselle." "Ar tiste." Your age?" "Twenty-two." "Clerk, you can now swear the lady to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." Pari Figaro. When single, I longed to be married, When married, f wish I bad staid; ' The benedict wishes he'd tarried, And the wife she had died an old maid. Like flies at a window in summer. We mortals resemble, no doubt; Those outside all wish to be inai.ie, Those inside all want to get oat. Citunnnati Sun. It Is Well to Remember That old friends are best. i That the tongue is not steel, yet it cuts. That the purest water runs from the hardest rock. . ' That cheerfulness is tho bright weather of the heart. That sleep is the best stimulant, a ner vine safe for all to take. - . . '- That it is better to be able to say no, than to be able to read Latin. That cold air is not necessarily puro nor warm air necessarily impure. That a cheerful face is nearly as good for an invalid as healthy weather. That there are men whose friends are more to be pitied than their enemies. - That advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give, but hard enough to take. That wealth may bring luxuries, but that luxuries do not always bring happi ness. That grand temples are built of small stones, and great lives made up of tri fling events. That nature is a rag merchant who works up every shred and art and end into new creations. That an open mind, an open hand, and an open heart would everywhere find au open door. That it is not enough to keep tho poor in mind; give them something to make them keep you in mind. That men often preach from the house tops, while tho devil is crawling in to the basement window, That life's real heroes and heroines are those who bear their own burdens brave ly and give a helping band to those around them. That hasty words often rankle in tho wound which iojury gives, and that soft words assuage it, for giving cures, and forgetting takes away the scar. Qood lloutckeeping. A Kara Avis. Freak, and curiosities in plonty lb various dune knows gather, Hut here on I von That nttvor was sen, And that is the youth of twenty Who dou'C know nor tban Ms (Hr. Btn Couritr. J - i . J i a 4 4
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers