TOLD BY THE MERRY MEN A BATCH OF STOBIES BT AMEBICAW PRESS HUMORISTS. It Wonliln't Work Not tlie Kind lie W n sited Tommr Learned It Mrlkln It IMcli, l:tc Seedy individual Do you deliver money to any address? Express Company Clerk Certainly, ir. How much do you wish delivered? "Whnt's the chnrjiei on ouo thousand dollars?" "One dollar." "Well, hero's fifty cents. Just pass me out five hundred dollars, sonny, and bo lively." (Curtain falls on sidewalk scuffle, with tho clerk undcrnoath.) Philadelphia Call, Not the Kind He Wanted. There was an individual roving up and down Griswold street yesterday in reareh of a lawyer who would prosecute a claim for him and take half tho dam ages as pay. When asked by Bomo one what his claim was he replied: "I propose to sue tho police court for 20,000 damages." "What for?" "For sending me to the workhouse for thirty days without notifying me what sort of an institution it was." "What difference did that make?" "A great deal, sir, I was charged with drunkenness, and an oflicer swore that I was drunk. I denied the charge, and his Honor said: 'I make it thirty days."' "Well?" "Well, how did I know whether he meant a drunkard's home, a sanitarium, or a prison? He explained nothing. In stead of going to a sanitarium I brought up at tue worknousc. inc snocK to my nervous system has set me back ten I years, and I'm going to be paid for it. Detroit Free Preset Tommy Learned It. "Papa, how do nations get into war with each other?" asked Tommy Sca sonby. "Sometimes one way, sometimes an other," said the father. "Now, there are Germany and Spain. They came near getting into war becauso a Spanish mob took down the German flag." "No, my dear," put in Mrs. Seasonby, "that wasn't the reason." "But, ray darling," said Mr. S., "don't you suppose I know. You are mistaken. That was the reason." "No, dearie, you are mistaken. It was because the Germans " "Mrs. Seasonby, I say it was because " "Peleg, you know better. You aro only trying to " "Madam, I don't understand that your opinion was asked in this matter, any way." "Well, I don't want my boy instructed by an old ignoramus." "See here, you impudent " "Put down your cane, you old brute. Don't you dare bristle up to me, or I'll send this rolling pin at your head, you old" "Never mind," interrupted Tommy. "I guess I know how wars begin." Chicago New$. Striking; It Rich. "Have you called on the Browns yet?" she asked, as the new minister was about to take his leave after making a call. "I'm just going," he replied. "It's the third house from the corner, I be lieve?" "Yes third house. They aro very, very nice people, and I know you'll like em." When the minister rang the bell there was some delay in answering it. Mean wnile the screen doors permitted him to hear from the interior. Brown, who seemed to be up stairs, called over the banisters: "Say, Helen, where in thunder is that old vest I spoke of?" "Who areyou talking to?" demanded a voice from below. "To you, of course! If you were any sort of wife you'd put things where they could be found." "Solomon Brown, don't you cast any alura on me. If I don't know more about housekeeping than all the Browns on earth I'll commit suicide." "You do, eh? What did the pauper Smiths have to keep house on?" "Solomon, you are a vile wretch!" 'Much obliged, but it's living with you that's done it!" At this juncture the minister was ush ered in, and Mrs. Brown soon entered the parlor, extended both hands, and gayly exclaimed : "Ah! I'm eo glad ! Solomon and I both wanted to see you so inuchl Solomon SuUy, dear, hurry up and come down our new preacher is here !" And Solomon came down, painted a grin on his face, and greeted tho good man with : "Well! well! but this is good of you! Wifey and I were just wishing you'd call. We want to see if an effort can't be made to increaso the interest in the Thursday evening prayer meetings!" JViie York Sun. He Know HIIICIiupi. 'Do you know the prisoner at the bar?" "Him?" "Yes; answer up prompt." "That follow there?" "Certainly; do you know him!" "Hira?" "Yes, to be sure; why don't you an swer?" "Why, pshaw, judge! Him an' me married crab out of the same family sisters, you might say." "Well, do you know him?" "Hiin?" "Can't you understand plain English? Do vou know this man?" "Thafn?" "Of course, you blockhead. Do you know him?" Know him? Why bless your your old heart, judge, he's got a pup that I gave hira more'n five years ago, an you never see such a dog in a!l your born days as that'n turned out to bo. Why. pbhaw. judge, you couldn't find nothin' like hiin with hide an' hair on in seven counties; but the way I come to git, him was just oie of the funniest blunie things you ever heered tell of. You see tho way of it was this ah?" "Hold on! Stop right there! We don't want any dogstoru-v just row. Do you know him?" "Who?" "Why, this man!" I "Uhl Why, I 'lowed you meant the dog. Well, if I'd knowed the pup half f si) well as i am mm, you can dci vour sorks ho wouldn't never a got nim, judge; that's what ho wouldn't. Why, dog gono it all, judge, that dog was half pinter, an' ah?" "Stop this sawing around and answer tho question, or you'll be committed," "Uh?" "I say you'll bo committed." "Uh?" "I say you'll be committed for con tempt." "For what?" "For contempt." "Whafs that?" "Will you answer the qucstionf ' "Yes." "Well, then, why don't you do itP "Do what?" "Answer the question." "What question?" "The one I asked you." "Whkhn?" "Do you know the man?" "What man?" "The prisoner at the bar." "I wonder now if you mean Bill Gimps?" "Certainly. Do yon know him?" "Didu't I say wo both married into the same family?" "Yes; but do you kjiow him?" "Well, now, see here, judge. Don't you know I'd be like to know my own brother-in-law?" "Will you answer the question?" "What'question?" "Do you know Bill Gimps?" "Didn't I give him a pup five years ago?" "Yes; but do you know him?" "Well, now, see here, judge, do you s'pose I wouldn't have any more sense than to fool away a dog on a man I don't know? No, sir-ee; I never got so blamed Hush with dogs as to waste 'cm like that. Know him? Of course I do; better'n I do the size of my own feet or my olo woman's voice, and could'v told you so long ago if you'd only ast mo. Know him at tho bar? Why, judge, that's where I first got acquainted with him. by his standia' treat, an' I never knowed a man, judge, that was more certain to turn jack right where it was needed in a' game of seven-up than him. You pan go your pile on him for that every time and never get loft. Yes, sir, I'd know Bill Gimps anywhere, even in meetin', though I don't s'pose I could make out how he got there. Know him! Yes-sir-ee-bob. I know hiin as well as I do when diuner- time comes. Is that strong enough, judge, or do you want mo to projuce his note to show how much more I know him? I can do it if sich is law." "That will do." "Uh?" "You may step down I" "Down whsrei" "Downstairs, you blockhead I" Chi cago Ledger. HEALTH HINTS. Edward Everett Hale says he cured eight of his children of tho whooping cough by letting them inhale ammonia cal gas at a gas factory. Dr. Doane recommends equal parts of vaseline and turpentine spirit, with a little carbolic acid, as an excellent ap plication for a frost-bite. The skin of a boiled egg is the most efficacious remedy that can be applied to a boil. Peel it carefully, wet and apply to the part affected. It will draw out the matter and relieve soreness in a few hours. As the sting of a bee is acid, to nuetral ize its effects alkali should be used. Finecut smoking tobacco is said to be a good remedy. A pinch of it moistened and applied'to tho wound liko a sponge gives relief in five or ten minutes. Men seldom lose the hair below where the hat touches tho head, May we not expect, if we keep the top of the head hot and moist by continuous wearing of the hat, that the hair glands will become weak and finally too weak to grow hair? For thirty years I have worn the ordinary silk hat with nearly 300 holes through the top, the holes being about a sixteenth of an inch in diameter. The nap is re versed before the holes are punched, and when it is brushed back to its proper place tho holes are not seen except when the hat is held up between the eyes and a strong light. Between the sweat leather and the hat an open corrugated wiro is fastened which extends all around. Thus the ventilation is perfect. JJio Leicis. Persian Fire-Worshipers. Ex-United States Minister Benjamin says in tho Independent: When the Arabs, burning with religious zeal, car ried the doctrines of Mohammed into Persia, and forced the acceptance of the Koran at the point of the sword, that conntry abandoned the worship of fire and the principles taught by Zerdusht or Zoroaster. The fire-worshipers who remained were mostly driven out of the country by persecution, and became the Parsees of India; a few remained in Persia, whoso descendants are found there to this day. But they do not number over 25,000. They are most numerous at Yezd, where they weave some of the finest of the silk stuffs for which Persia is famous. Elsewhere they are agriculturists. They wear a peculiar garb, of which a distinguishing color is yellow, and are probably the most up right people in a country where correct principles and practice are scarce. Of course they retain the worship and creed of ancient Persia, including the mystical veneration for firelight. It is worthy of note that tho more intelligent of the Guebrcs deny that they worship either the sun or tiro, but rather the deity, or principle symbolized by those objects. This may be true of educated Guobres; but the lower and ignorant classes un doubtedly have not sutficient refinement to make so subtle a distinction. Those who are opposed to smoking, on the ground of morals, will be pleased to learn that no Guebre ever uses tobacco, while to smoke in his presence is an af front, because of tho sacredness of fire. Tho head of the Guebres is a very re spectable and intelligent old gentleman, named Manookjee; he resides at Te heran. There are ubout 0,377,000 Jews in the world, of whom 5,407,000 arein Europe, and 300,000 in America. ltussia has 2,5.12,000, Germany 501,000, Ijaglaud 60,000, and Spain only 1,900. NEWS "AND NOTES FOR WOMEN. Tan and all shades of brown are popu lar. Fur will be much used on winter bon nets. Serges aro finer and softer than ever before. Combination suits aro moro fashiona ble than ever. Green, no matter whether it prove bo coining or not, is to bo worn. A new fancy of the fair is gold knitting-noodles tipped with pearls. Artificial honey is mado with a ma chino invented by a Wisconsin woman. Now tissues for long scarf vests aro of fino silk threads woven in fish-net pat tern. A full tablo service of pure gold makes bright tho board of Mrs. Catherine Astor. Braids of medium width, edged with ponpons is , used for trimming woolen costumes. Tho Woman's National Industrial league has decidod that Chincso laun dries must go. Madras striped silk is used for panels, vests and cutis for costumes of dark silk or of fino wool. Bonnets are moro eccentric and ca pricious than ever, in shape, size, mater ials and trimmings. Spito of many innovations in the coif, fure, tho close English stylo of hair dressing still prevails. Tho fronts of basques have one or two points, the back frequently has the sash drapery attached to it. Stripes of various colors, side by side, are frequently seen in velvet or plush on sober-toned woolen grounds. The bulk of winter stuffs, both wool and silk, are striped horizontally as a rule, but frequently vertically. In Paris the passion is for stripes, plain stripes, fancy stripes, Pckin stripes, narrow stripes and broad stripes in every possible combination of color and mate rial. Bluish moonlight and bluo steel beads mixed with a smaller quantity of bronze, or grenat beads, form some of tho most beautiful trimmiugs that can be ob tained. Plush is restored to favor, and is a favorite material for small wraps, rivaling velvet in popularity, and second only to fur seal for very rich gnrments, and is made into the scarf and cape like gar ments that have only ono scam in the back and short s'aoulder Beams. Tho widow of Archduke Johann, of Austria, has died. The archduke while traveling through Aussee asked the post master, for a postchaise. No postilion, however, could be found; so tho post master's daughter donned the dress of a postilion and offered her services. The archduke was struck by her beauty, and subsequently she became his wife and was elevated to tho rank of countess. Five hundred years B. C, tho Etrus can ladies fastened their coils and braids with spear-shaped pins, as beautiful as they were useful. Some of them were made of ivory and some of bronze and silver. They were ornamented in various ways, some with busts carved upon them, and some with full-length reclining fig ures. Venus rising out of the sea and stroking back her wet hair was a favorite design. The newest style is to have the bodice of a plain fabric and usual figured stuffs for the trimming and on the skirts. The princess polonaise which, when en train becomes the princess robe, is revived, opening over a petticoat front of fancy brocade. The robe is for rich silks and velvets, but the polonaise is likely to be much worn for street suits, and home toilets of tho beautiful cloths and cash meres are in vogue. Four Firm FacU. No one can take morphia or othei poisons without injury. No morphia or opium is to be found in Red Star Cough Cure. No case of cough that cannot be cured by Ped Star Cough Cure. No remedy is cheaper; it costs only twenty-live cents. An owl with his eyes wide open met a crow, who said, "Go into tho light, and you need not strain your eyes so large in order to see." Among Children there is no plague that eats away life's energies so rapidly as that of worms, which are the out growth of blood impurities. They are detected by nervous restlessness, un natural appetite for food, hollow, sunken eyes, and a general bodily uneasiness. Parents should note these symptoms, and relieve tho little ones by tho use of Vine gar Bittehs. According to the recent census Green land contains a population of 10,000. U MARK. Absolutely Free fron Opiates, jLinvtict und I'oison, SAFE. SURE. PROMPT. IT Pri liuisin a.hii Pcai.kki. TIIK i II Alii. A, tOi.tif.KR. CO., BAIT! .OK, in. T JACOBS Q If" PS Cures Rlisumatisiv, Ntufal(ji, For PBin hc THL 4 !(AIK.i.a a. VOtiM.Mi i O., V.i VI HUi.i., illi. TRADE Vm 1 wsm I J v v. ill"; I . VU IT. WW lr..B A Nses Kiftc It Thraaet '"Malaria," an a "popular ailment, " has given place to a new potentate. If yu have Rheumatism now, the medical wiwar.tfw exclaim "Urto Acid I" If you have frequent headaches, they sage ly rwnark "Uric Acid I" if Toil have nrtnnin.K of the brain, they in sist that it li "t'rlo Acid I" If Solution or Neuralgia make Ufa misera ble, it is "Uric Arid I" If your skin break Otlt in Dolls and Flm pies, it is "Uric Acid I" If you have Abscess and piles, "Urlo Acid"' has set your blood on tire. If you have dull, languid feelings, back ache, kidney or bladder troublet.iroiit.Kravel, poor blood ; ara 111 at ease, threatened with paralysis or apoplexy, vartifto; are bilious, dropsical, constipated or dyspeptic -"Uric Acid" is the key to the situation. Ihs .ion, lh cause of all your difllcultiesl Vr'e do not know a madam Malaria Will take kindly to this Masculine Usrper bttt he has evidently come to it. "Urio Acid 'this Monster, l the product of the tecompo!ttir death constantly taking place within MS.and unless he is evary rlar routed from the system, throiich the kidneys, by tnvniu of some great blood speci Ho like Warner's safe cure, which Senator R, K. lirtiea savs snatched him from fte Efaen, there is not the least doubt but that it will utterly ruin the strongest human constitu tion! It is not a young fellow by any means. It lms along and well-known line of ancestors. Ic is undoubtedly the father of a very great family of diseases, and though it may be the fashion to ascribe progeny to it that are not ilrectly its own, there can belittle doubt that it it once get thoroughly seated in the human system, it really does introduce into it nnwt of the ailments now, per force of fashion, at tributed to its baleful influence. A Jersey farmer ha three acres in sun flowers. Young or middle-aged men, suffering from premature decline of power, however induced, speedily and radically cured, IHus. trnted book for 10 cents in stamps. World's Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N.Y. It tnkos nearly 13,000 policemen to protect Loudon. "Sweet Muni Muller. Whit tier's beautiful ballet Contains a touching illusion to the many cares and sor rows which wear upon the "heart and brain" of a wife and mother. Thousands of weary suffering womeu have found Dr. Pierces "Favorite Inscription" a marvelous recup erator of wasted strength, and of sovereign ertiracy in all those derangsment and mala dies peculiar to their sex, by reason of which the vitality is gradually sapped, and the cheek robbed prematurely of its bloom, l'rice reduced to ono dollar. By druggists. In the Australasian colonies there are over seventy -six million sheep. Can consumption be cured? "Vet. Oae man only, discovered the laws of gravitation. One man only, discovered the virtue of vac cination. And one man after years of study and reflection, has discovered tho cure for consumption. Dr. Pierce's "Golden Medical Discovery" is it sptrtjic. Komi two letter stamps and get Dr. l'iorce' pamphlet treatise on consumption. Address. World's Dispensary Medical Asaoclatlon,Buffalo,N. Y. The English sparrow is voted an intolerable nuisance by the majority. Menrman's Peptonized scar Tomo, the only reparation ofbeef containlugits entire nulri ttou properties It contains blood-raakinf force generating and life-sustaining properties; invaluable for indigestion, dyspepsia, nenroiu prostration, and all forma of general dobility; also, in all enfeebled conditions, whether the result of exhaustion, nervous prostration, over work or acute disease, particularly if resulting from pulmonary complaints. Caswell, Iiazar J Co., lroprietors. New York. Sold by druggUU. "Beeson'b Aromatic Alcm Sulphur Soap," beautifies and softens Face and hands, heals and cures all skin diseases for sure. 35 cents by "Druggist" or by mail, Win. Dreydoppel, Philadelphia, Pa. Frazer Axle l.reeae. One trial will convince you that it is the best. Ask your dealer for it and take no othor. Every box has ourtrade mark on. Backache, Sharp Pains, Rheumatism, Kid ney Diseases, Torpid Liver, Lung Troubles or Lameness in any part quickly cured bv the Hop I'laster.lhe best porous plaster made. 25c Prevent crooked boots and blistered heels by wenring Lyon's Patent Heel Btiffeners. If a cough disturbs your sleep, take Piso's Cure for Consumption and rest well. The rice crop of this country is unusually large. Important. When yoa Alitor Ie.e Vork cltr, uve hir! riprwsmitrtt and 3 can-inre bir. aod .top ru the (J r till Utimn Hotl, opposite Orand Unntral dtpoi. ft) nlfiiraiit rooms, tit tod up at ft coat of on million doliani, ifel and upward par day. Kumpaao plan. Kt valor. Restaurant supplied with thbt. flarMCara, taffnn and elnvatad railruadi to all dnpota. fr'atniUa rn lie better for I mm uiodm at tha lirand Union Hot J tbau at anj other tinit-ulaaa hotel fa lh citf. Arcola.IH., is the largest brooui-oorn cen tor in the United State. Scrofula Lurks In th blood of Dearly veryon, in man oatea Inherited. Iu severest form ia that of running sores on the arms, lacs, or feet. Bunches iu the glands of the neck, pimples, oanoerous growths, swollen joint, snd thickening of th upper Up are other symptoms. Hood's Barsapaiilla has had wondeiful success In cur ing scrofula. It thoroughly eradicates the humor from the blood, and gives it new vitality and richness. Albert Kates, 'J East Pine Street, Lowell, Mass,, had been troubled with scrofulous humor from boy hood, and in the summer of 184 had a large running sore on his leg. On taking Hood's Baraparilla the aura gradually disappeared, and he has had no indica tion of the humor since. Mrs. Wm McDonald, Wooster, O.. for 19 mouths suffered with acrjfulous swelling of the glauds in the neck. Hood's BaraaparllU gave lminsdiate relief, the swellings being largely reduced, bhs thinks there la nothing equal to It. Hood's Sarsaparilla Bold bj all rmit. 1; ill fur 1. Propri bjC. 1. HOOD OU., Apjthacan, Lowell, M.tl. IOODo8esOne Doljar CONTAGIOUS! I am a native of England, and while I wm In that country I contratd a wrrible blood poison, and for twojrari wHiuniifr treatment aw an out-door pa tlcnt at NoU-inifham Hospital, England, but was not rurtHl. I suffered the most axotiUing- pains In my buues. and was covered with sores all over my body ana limbs. Finally I completely lowt all hope lh that louniry, and sailed tor America, and was treated at Roonevnlt la this city, as well aa by a prominent physician In New York having no con nect inn will) the hoHpltals. I naw the advertlwement of Swift's Specific, and I determined to give it a trial. I took six bot ties and I ran say with great Joy that they have curtnl me entirely. 1 am as sound and well an I ever was in mv life. L. JTiucd. Halforo. Sttw York City, June 12th, 1885. Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases mailed free. The hwit Kikvimo Co.. Urawcr a. Atlanta. Oa. X. Y.. 167 W. atd bt. J CONSUMPTION. I have a positive rwiuetiy fr the abots dlseitHS ; by Us uno.t huaiiit f C4 ui ttia wuft klnUewidof Inns; feiunJInit tittvs bteu cured. 1 mienl.oit i imtr I a m y fi h 111 us vfut'evy. Hint 1 wM S tnl T WO ItOTTl.kS HKR,. together with a V A LI' A Hl.fc THE Alls K on ttudtse to auj suflVrer . (i i v h fHitrrai and P O Hildr . A 11. V. A. aLUCLM, ii feari.St., how York. I An truve Man or Woman In every county in tell uur Kt'OfU Klart ai. 1 r and Lxpcutei !. xpenaei in al-im-r. ( toivataiiiL' oulht t UKK! ritiiulat tree. Btandird Silver-wra Ci. iiostoa, Alevaa. Great EftglUh Gout and i rlBlai Rheumatic Remedy. uvai ttwAi ai.uy rouno, ou ets, i 4 A DAY AT JiUMK paiiitiiix swim. A rin-f Nf ( .. at y. Our paitt'ind do the i-Muii'lf t" rent. A. M M'tnnN A. t u., Salem, tiluo isnreriief io-r.rwi kiqder s pASTiiLEsi;rirr,,;",-: lAff AflTEO Only Temperance Hitters KnCrtn. Mm Jrtfnl ThAnannd ptvwlalm ViwcoAn Bnricaa Uid moot wonderful In vlo rant thai Yer BudtalnHli ftlnklnir HTHtem. PladA Irani California root and WVm, Trr lYvim Alcoholic Htlmulanta. A l'lirffitlve and Tonic. This Hlttr eiirm Fm1 romp'afnta, Inflammatory and (iironlo Itr nntnllstti, (lout, Hilloua, hmlttnt ana lulrrmlumt Fa wn, Illood, I.trrr and KldneyDUmiK. DyaprpalA or Indigestion. Hr-adarha, Fainlnthn HliouMorK, "oiikIi, Tlir!ifnw of tha ClifW tHllw, flour Btoinat'h, rurrnl TonRlH, blllona Attack, Palpitation of the Mr-aH, I'iipii tnonta, and I'sln In tho r-Hh r( the Kliluej-i, arfcurod ly Mi tlsHnrtuP Hitter for KklM IHsffttckt Kruptlnha, 'Holt. F.rylHla, Hcrofula. MwvUiratlolm, llumoraanci rliraAa of tho Hkln of hatwr nam or na ture, are literally dug up and carried out of til i.vtem In a ahort tlma by the line of the BUtTa, I Invigorates the htohiarh, and mini ulaleathe Unld WVer find Howela, which ren der It of unequaled efBclencT In cleanxlnir. the hlood of at! Impiiritlea. and Imparting Dew Ufa and Tlcor to the whole ayatein. No IVrou can take the Bitters and reroeCrt lone unwell. 1'ln, Tape and other IVormi, are deetroyed and remoreii from the uretem. leanae tlto Vitiated Blood whenerer It la rrtul ( your feellngn will tell you when. Keep a blood pure, and the health of the ayatera will follow. In ronelnalon ! OivetheHltrer atrial. It will apeak for Iteelf. One hottle will prove a bet ter ruaranteo of it merit than ft lengthy aJ TertlBement. It. II. nicDonald Irittt To., frnprletont. Ban Franolam, Oil., .n.l h. Wk Ka Wubuiirtun Bt. ... Cor. rharlton Kt, N.w York . Sold by itU Deaicra and Druggists. IN THE HEAD IS dlreue of the miirouf u.iubrann. It itcnrrtlly irisinatM In tho nnl a4Mci and maintain. ItU tronRhnld in the hr-ail. ''mm this ixilnt It pnda urth a polaonoua Tirin hlong the monibrauoun lin uilt and through the d. ;rattiva organ., corrupt! us. he blood aud rodticluK thrr troublrecme and dan ;rroua nymrtoiua. t'rram Halm in a rem. i-dv 1imi.1 uim a conwt .ItAKitOKlH nt t lite dUra, .ii.fi'.n lir-dnt'eudfd tilioll. 6J ceutM st lrii.'ftH or by mml. KI.I JpitOlnKKH. DrtlllitHta. Hww. W. Y. A phystrian In a RAuthrn rlty wrltna that he had irira s nne ot ttif fofxis timiuv rraiMtt in the nu'tii' ral journal for run own lufmit; and, tnimh wfre bfttrr thiiu othtrs, rone were riht in then action uiMiii the iowtis. The little om i'Ui'i, an they had almost i.sinlre(1 of its WW. whn HltUn' KtKt wa triiMl, and ih little one at our iiu toiJ a u a priri a iion oi i in n wi nvMiin'n. HiFAGE'S LIQUID GLUE IMENDS EVERYTHING Wood. Ieathr.rapr, Ivory .Glass. V5,'n -""umiture, Mrie-a Brsr, :. , W- Strong at Iron, Bolid m ft Rock. past five year ainoiiiitrd to over 32 MILLION hottlnTKVmiYHuDK WANTS IT. iJUcMMfl TWO GOLD MEDALS. AlMlrnlrit run iwll it. AwardiM "pSrnMHuinrctl RtronKat tilua known VflniaiOS DO Aria. lorsnnipierau ritr.r. uy msiu -- Russia CamurrCa. Uluucsalcr.Mas. " THE HOME AGAINST . nrnti urnirr nt ai'i nnu t.v, vn(f THE SALOON DO YOU WANT TO KNOW Hew to Prevent Crime end I'aupei Uiii t How to Finpir JalU and renllrntiario f Hew is Piiril'y I lie Political Nyatein i How to Itedurn Taxation I'l ty per Cent. f How to Have e IKHMMMMHMl a Yearf How to Dmlrsr the Inl'aiuoiia l.liiHorTraltlcf Ses DEMOREST'S MONTHLY MAGAZINE For November. Price, 2" ccntn. .'.0U a Vear. W.Jennings Demorest. Pub., 17 E. Uth St., NEW VOlt K, Scil.l by all Ni'drAlr and Piwtinaxten. 5 TON WAGON SCALES, litis Ltvrrt, Sll H-aflnjt, Bra m J IS fcK par lb tKbl far fr I'lr Ut netillft lliU pap"' " sd4 - J0NCI Of IIHUHAT.N, 1 GUR! Whn i lav uru i u i i.... mein i.ior V to amp hu m i. atime autl Uu'ii liavo thm iriui it aAiittn, I nifun arnrii. Pal cure. I hftv mndo tho tltafiifo of FITS, Krll.EP.sV or FAl.MNU piU'KNtSSa lift, lung nuAf. I warrant my ii'mt'dy to mho Ilia worst cuarn. H'M-a'.ins others hava failed fa no rrtnn lor n.it now loorlvtng a euro, frid at oucm for a tr oat lies au4 a i'reo Uoitle ui my lniallihl rvnirdy. Giro 1-xpn-ft mnA 1'uat Uflii:a. It coU Jul tWlhiua: tor a ti titl, ntt I U1 rura yu. Ad J re u Dr. 11. U. UOUT, IM 1'earl 8t, Kew oiX. OK JE m staple goods Torr Ml ll Wo lwtitY receiins or truali; Imt lm..h. f Kf F VWa IU necactl in every lioue, tli-.l acll lui I llliw CASH, tent free on reLeipt u( tlietii'trrsin of as ctsoi (it to 40 ycartolrl), an J w lciu 10 pity for Idik atlveriikciitent ant.' postage on ijooda. Certain s.ml.it ti-jn Onier no. a ilm wsi ik umiitu. MAUAKa BUl'l'LT t;U., Chloral ani ipsunlfablls lAsii.v 1 iu;i. iit:)ii rKK. DR. J. C. HOFFMAN, Joffirsii, Wis03i5ir GOOD AGENTS IIU 'UA1I llllttll'. Applj ill Ui't 1 nf I'tltS lU.l 1.1 ii.KUf. VAKi. I Mi K A ft., ;J1 hoii.i St.. N . V now tu nmrr it ririiarn i' -All dialers. t.iii'uiara tier. Turn Wootlbuiy Company, Wunu PATENTS uii UA., I'.iL- III l.vt yt tfllff If 11 Xuri.iur- liuliii Turttl i 81 rlliril1.0 -?,' ll-ullru Wl lUlllU. J. blaki'UJCNta. jAbUUIJ, ( OlitU CATARRH iFmrPi HAY -FEVER mm B4eriuun A at bum I ure iievtirytiiiiloKivt'i mliaim reltej Hi the womt i'untiH.itiKUPOHfA :tifurt X at)leMieep;el?ecUricurevhtroa lotherHfaii. A m I trial wtnnnrei th4 nuttt Vi!iV. PrU er. aid K l.KKotliwni-!iorh niaU.Huui 1" Fit K r:(i " J l 1114 J jwr TRUE ECONOMY. Itvrrr one mnot nractlre frtw economr t larrea In life, ul It li no economy to buy " ihortny " ar llrlen; bd Flour, bud Ilutter and bid Food of anj kind are not economical to ae at any priced athott nand tlnn wore la a " shoddy " medicine thtt pre. tendii to cure, but make the patient worie. ir At the bot food It the cheapen! bectnee n rtiilrltlnnti an rl atrinoihiilii in the whole trtem. even In email qiitnlltlca, to la a pure medicine, which rnrra evry time, even In atnall doacaj there. rore alwayl keep In mind tueae Jen nana ran. I W "Thrra la more real aolld cure In n fxHl ot IlfNT'i (Kidney and I.lvet) Hrmrpt, for the dla raaea It It prepared for, than In a barrel of the to talled cured; tlu doat It f) to DO drops. tw It enfea, tettoroa, ri-Rulatea and Invlporttet Ihi Liver, Stomach, Kldnera, llladder, and Urinary nrgan, rreati'a a inarveloiia appetite and reltulldt the entire system, and It Is " Nover known to fall." I"" It will pheveht as Well ts cur Malaria, Keveft and Itlienmntlsm and all ("liieatcs which come from Impure blood. Kocp the fountain and the spring that supply It pure, and the stream flowing there from will be henllhfut and llfc-BlvliiJ. IS Special and Interesting case of might's dll" esse described on second paxe of our Itsnncr llook. Hi nts (Kldiicr end Liver) Kkmedt purinct Ihe JSIood, thereby keeping the Kidneja, Liver, Stomach, Hladdrr and l'rlnaryorpanavlj;oronawltb life and action, canting them to free the tyatein from the poison waste which brings disease and dralh. v lr It reaches the fat of tho disease at onee-. removes the cniise siliniihtc. and assists the fnuo lions o the Kidneys, Liver ami t'rinary organa. IS" Save your heallh by using IlrsT'i (Kldnoy and I.lvrr) lir x Km , aa millions will sot recom pense the loss of the priceless boon. It will curt Krmnlo Weakness and prevent monthly Buffeting. t arreitondence freelv answered bf oar t'oneiiltint rhyalrlua nt tills altlce. 1ST" The larcosl sslet are at ithe hone of the meiilrine ; wnero 11 i ne.i nn.n. ii i. u.ed most extensively and pre. srrllwrt by 15 pliysicians. Vi ha' heller endorsement could bt offered. PRICE, $125 PER BOTTLE Hunt's Remeij Co, IIIIIIIKIIU4 Providence, R. I. Sold by ALL DRUGGISTS, xm c- 3 THE QUEEN'S Grtateil BlesilngU Miners, wives, Daughters. Sisters. The Queen'a Itemedrj or "The Herb u( Ule.'' t.BKAT EaropeanDiscoYerj Just introduced inte Amsnca. 1 ry in For both Physical a Mtntal Olseissi. Ths Physician to the yueen savs: "Kor jesrs I hav. nsd this remarkable an t pen. Iratlng remedv with ral silcrnaa, eeclllr In lt plaoements, L)v.eii, 1'iimors, Inseaene of tl.a Heart .. .In flit dtnean,s (if woman it 'M ns evMi'-... Kv.rrlhliiK lseaiW. 1 found It tfU". Mv, snd in no case imidurtlve of harm." Th" secrsl is: Ths aliMilius imwer of ths romedr In WrHv (S al. of l vfrut iroma.'l srvo rpntrr. Urn BO. tlou la iri, acordhiff to the ease, llnK elihsra f'.Mic. .Vltmiilanl or .V..l'i. I'rei'Sred in Htimt9. parAlror AltnlMltlic turm. a priftrr'H. l'rtca 1 i.Mi doses). All lettsrs marked ivimi will be referred dtrtrtly to our Liq 'Av.iVtt). for allenliei. Send lor ami rssd our Deacnptlvs frar. ROYAL REMEDY CO.. 840 Vashlnien Ntreet, Itostoa, .Haas. r ACIXIRY-Tlinton Highlands. For sale by all druKKiai, or will be sunt on receipt Of I'Hen, EXTRAORDINARY ATTRACTIONS. D E MO REST'S 8T THE BES Ol" all tlio laffaxluoai. Tiio NoxmivxBjarii AO IK HEADY, IS A. SUPERB NUMBER. Illustrated with a Hteel Fntravlng and loriy-tlve other plcturre. Kach eopyof " Demorrsi's Monthly Mairsilns" contalm A Coupon (Inter, entitling Hie holder to tlie selection o in? iistlern llluitrsttd In the fsslilnn riensrtment In thai auinnrr. In any of tlie sixes manufacture! honrt twenlv centu for the current number with Patten Coupon seil vou will certainly ruUscribc Two lobars fjl a year and art ten tlmea Its vulue. W. ieimlngt Demoreit, Publisher, 17 E. Uth St., New York Bold bv all Newsdealers and Post maal era. OEDERICK S HAY fa r- n c o o k. the customer kcrpingtheona n n r o o r - ...v -6 . ,ol"ct m i l Uut suite ttrdcron trmi, aittirean lur circular uutl location o Weaiern and Southern Storehoneea and Airenlt, i P. K. DCDERICK A CO., Albany, N. Y. Uj CUftli WHl i Beat Couah riyrup. P,J in lime. KoV ALL USl U1LS. ild hv lirnuiflui. e?mFf ISfr. iM!f GOLD TSend 6 ceuts in postajre atamiM and we will mall you.'ree, a IxhiI ciilituilliliif 'i.uXSI illuntratioua, a Willi full information aliout wurl ttiiLt vim run it., fur iim Mti.l ivm . home. Yon can nik tioin f.i to Hi imt dav, and Iroiu J to iT evi'iiiiiK. All is new. Aur one who starts at once can do it. Great suocen alieolutelf sure. Work adapted to till apes ami both sexos. Par ticulanaiuuo, tre. J. Hammond A Co. Auxita, Me. R. U. AWARE THAT Lorillard's Climax Plucr. brorlng a rrd tin rtit' iiiui'Lorlllard's MsV- IVOHO llllULMIi; iitBiuwriiituu Navy t ilppliib-naiul that Isorlliard i Suuftn nx the btuit and c-heapeHt, quality conKldf red i Grind yur own Eor'a WIIIIU -sj.-l. a. StlM-lla. 'lUK.tll AM Flo, r nnit t on 111 lur ioi HAN MlijTj (F. Wilson's l'utelill. lOO s cenf. InurM niHilo In kienliiff u.inl. try. Also POWI K. MII.I.M saiarl iFAItU I t FI Mll.l.S. ClrctilRrs uiiil Teal linoulsls (tent m appllcailuo. IV'lLaoA 1111U9., isatoa. Fas, rAnmt.nO OUR) IKiHSK and liUOilV, and rouiluaiKlmi; KMI in Sii(M), riu sm-nre permanent siul pnitilabln Iiuniumhm, Willi lull eoutrol ot bolh innuev and Ihimiiohu. Aillfs H A It N I .11 &z to, ail Vssey Nireoi, New Vork ( li v IHDRSTOff S RmlOOTH POWDER K eepln f Teel u Perfectnd G u ma 1 1 calf by. A RIR flPFm ju itndii,e them, w will DIU Urrttf. tilVK AWAY l.uw 8.11. Opsrslma finliiBa AUohiuws. ll yoo waal om send us ymirn.iiiiH, 1'. o., anil iiiinu olhis at once. '1 be National t'o.. J4 1KV ST., N.V. Pensions Holdlani fc Hairs. 8unditam i uuvumra. COUL.iJl.Na M, All')'. Waabluiilou, U. O. ftl fi Oft I SI J WAXTKII. t-nJ lto. ULU XjUIUS jta'hb ncil A t I.H. U idkism-rl Ave , llu.ton HigliUu.la, Mass. Vtil'NTSWANTKDforti n nowfat si llinKartli -los. NauiphiM, etc, tree. C Maraball.Luckiiort.N.V. 4. has rhen ths lead In tlie u thai tlksB vl reine.lica, as, I h.. yiven SIiiioi,! uuivcfui k.ti.u... UuU, HiURPHY BROS., rati., ie tlie till J IL U:i , ior l.t i-uiuii. ttiin nuw rank i einonj. tlie Icatlunf itUi- rank A. 1. bJ 111. K 'la. Smmyroyal "CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH" ---- - - ' a -e l.lltJ.ln T UM slfcMslaraaatal u.atl it..iu - Tmy Mli.i.lv. h.Krvur HUnl.U.I..,iu,i'. " " " -T Mlllll I a a. trt i Ali cc f Ul1 k,r "'' U "l u,,lr' ''"'"l" ! Bu.uUft.eU!.. . Tetter Mm v.... I. .ta. m a a li ''- in i ' .: .'- - 0 ?f t'ntni In j f I Tilt l)AY8.i I Uuuh1wI aui a J saiuaBulcum. I 1 Urtautj by lbs I Ilvtat Chamictl Co. V "V Ohio, avyi
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers