THE F0RE.4T EEFBBLICaI
In
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VOL.IVIII. NO. 5.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 20. 1885.
$1.50 PER ANNUM.
TRUE WORTH.
By the pleasant fire they sat one night,
Husband and wife alone,
And they talkod of tlio changes they had
con,
And of how tlio year had flown;
Of the nous, now scattered fnr and near,
And tlio daughters wooed and wed;
" We're only two in Mio liouse once more
Oh, Mary, my wife! " lie faid.
"When we wore alone, forty years ago,
Bo young, mid happy, and poor,
Thore wasn't a prettier girl than you,
Nor a hotter ono, I ntn mire,
t promised you tlmn I'd make you rich,
If you'd only shnre my Ufo;
I'm wortli n million pounds to-dayl
A million of money, dear wifel "
"How much am I worth?" she, amlling
asked.
II looked in her tender fane;
lie looked in her eyes, then closed his own,
And thought for a little spaeo.
"You are worth the life I've spent with you,
You are worth its richest joys;
You are worth more gold than can be told
You arc worth my girls and boys.
" You are worth the years that are yot to
como;
You are worth the world to me;
Oh, Mary there Is not gold enough
To sny what you are worth to me I "
" Woll, doar, I was worth the world to you
More than forty years ago;
A million is but a bngatolle
To tlio wliolo wido world, you know.
" So, then, we have nevor boen poor at all;
Now isn't it nice to know
That you wore o million billionaire
More than forty years ago !
TV. were happy then, wo we are hnppy now,
Bo tell me the difference, Frank?"
"It isn't much," he said with a smile;
"I've gathered a million from the pile,
And locked it up lu a bauk."
IN SEASON.
Oh, pallid meads! Oh, snow-clads hills!
Oh, wind swept dales 1 Oh, frozen rllM
Oh, Nature sad and sere and drear
Cheer up! choor up I
Swoet spring is herol
To beauty, life and love and glee
iler magic touch shall wnken theo.
Ob, Nature cold and chill and still
Awake! Awake!
Thy sweets distil !
Ahl who Spring's glorios doth not span!
The editor: That mad-eyed man,
Who at the poet swears and glara
And kicks him down
The sanctum stairs!
Jan. A. Waldron, in the Current.
LOVE AND POLITICS.
"Do you know,'.' srtid trivia, with a
restless movement of her pretty, peacock
fan, "I am really unhappy this morning."
Webster Arbuthnot leaned over with
a look of such obvious devotion that a
third party, if there hud been any such
a disagreeablo person present, could not
possibly have doubted his hopeless in
fatuation. "Tell uie all about it," he said, posses
fing himself of1 the hand nearest him.
'What is it that troubles my darling?"
Sylvia's sunny head drooped on his
shoulder.
"Papa is going to run for Congress,"
she suid, disconsolately ; but was quite
unmindful of the start her lover gave.
"Wo always have such a disagreeable
time when pa is running for an office.
Olv, Webster" (sighing), "after we are
married, I hope you will never take to
politics." L '
Webster got up quickly.
"I am sorry you don't like it, Sylvia,"
he began, in a nervous way. But a sud
ien burnt of music from h brass band
broke oil his speech abruptly.
"It isa parada," Sylvia cried excitedly,
springing to the window as tho band at
tiie head of a body vf delegates, turned
the corner. '
Webster followed her reluctantly. He
had grown suddenly pale.
, "Sylvia'," ho said hurriedly, "I "
"It is the opposition," she interrupted.
"Seel There is the banner. "We want
reform,' and we have secured it by the
nomination for Congress "
Sylvia gasped.
" of Webster Arbuthnot?"
"Darling!" he cried, flinging his arm
around her, "Let mo explain. I was
just going to tell you, when"
"Then you are are going to run for
Congress, too! And against papa?"
"They forced tho nomination upon
me. I was the compromise candidate.
Heaven knows I did not seek the honor,
but I was in such a position that I could
not "
"Oh, no doubt," she answered causti
cally, freeing herself from his embrace.
"Those honors usually are thrust upon
ono, it seems."
"Sylvia, you are unkind."
"And no doubt you expect to defeat
papa. Oh, the arrogance of some men
is astounding."
"Don't be angry, darling. I am sorry
that your father and 1 happen to ba the
opposing candidates. But every man
bus a right to his opinion, and it cannot
make uiiy difference to us, what are our
respective politics."
"No? It makes just this difference,
!Mr. Arbuthnot "
"Mr. Arbuthnot? Sylvia!"
"J should bo sorry to marry a politician
any how they are always a low .set; but
1 will not marry one of the opposition."
"Oh, my darling, don't say that!"
"1 mean it. You knew that I did not
like politics. If you would rather en
gage in them than please me, you may
Qo so. I have nothing mora to aay."
"But you would not have me give up
my honest convictions just because you
opposo them, Sylvia. You could not re
spect mo as a man."
"I mean exactly what I say," she re
plied, shrugging her shoulders. "I have
no desire to hamper you in any way.
Let ua consider our engagement at an
end."
Webster drew back and looked at
her. Her tall figure was drawn up to
ts full height, her eyes flashed, and he
knew by the haughty curl of her proud
lips that she was both earnest and angry.
"As ytu will," ho replied, taking his
hat with a dignified bow. "Good
morning.'' She turned when he had left her, half
hurt that he had taken her at her word
and gone aw ay. Then, woman-like, she
burst into tears.
"Ho can just go," she said, iobbingly.
"He can go and reform the cor-cor-rupt
party to which my father belongs; but
oh, I do hope he will be beaten."
Several weeks before the election, ex
Controllcr Scott, who had been so oc
cupied as to rarely eat at home, was
dining at home with his daughter.
"So you and Arbuthnot cannot mako
it up any more?"
As ho spoke ho looked over the top of
a newspnpor, which was veil known as
an organ of the popular party.
"I am not a friend to tho opposition,"
sho said, proudly.
Mr. Scot t laughed.
"What a girl you arc, Sylvia. You're
an out-and-out partisan. But you needn't
have been so hard on young Arbuthnot.
He's a nice young fellow too nice to
run as a candidate of such a party as the
opposition; but, bless you, he hasn't the
gliost of a show. Wo are going to sweep
the polls this time."
"Then you fuel sure of your election,
papa?"
"I'd bet my lust dollar on it. But I'd
rather the papers would do the square
thing. This attack on Arbuthnot's record
in the custom-house is downright mean."
"You arc to speak in Biilingham Square
to-night, aren't vou?" Sylvia said, chang
ing the subject deftly. "Thomas is going
to drive mo there."
"You must not think of such a thing."
"Oh, yes. I will go in tho barouche,
and I won't even stick my head out onee.
Now, papa, don't bother; Cousin Prod is
going with mo, and you known I never
heard you make a stump speech."
Sylvia had her way about this. At the
hour appointed for the mass-meeting, she
was driven to the grand stand. Billing-
ham Square was packed with people. By
the light of the blazing torches, carried
by tho clubs who had turned out, Sylvia
saw such a scene as she bad novcr wit
nessed before. Her carriage could not
get very near tho platform, and, as the
wind was blowing tho wrong way, Mr.
cott s speech was all lost to her.
"I can't hear a word, Fred," she said,
turuing to her cousin."
Across the sea of upturned faces, show
ing every gradation of virtue and intelli
gence, marking every station in life,
touching every phase of depravity, Sylvia
saw her father haranguing tho populace
with all the earnestness of enthusiasm.
"Oh, I wish I could hear what ho
says," sho cried, leaning forward. But
her cousin drew her back.
"You mustn't show your face, Sylvia,"
he said, emphatically. "There is a per
fect mob around you, and you promised
that you wouldn't look out of the win
dow." '
"But I can't hear," sho retorted, in
vexation. "I might as well go home."
"I think it would be a great deal bet
ber," said her cousin. "But you can't
drivo through a crowd like this without
killing some one; sot hero's nothing to do
but wait till it breaks up."
"If 1 only had some chocolates. Don't
be disagreeable, Fred. Won't you run
over to Marron's and got mo a box?"
Fred hesitated.
"I won't stir, and it won't take ten
minutes. You're a man, and you can get
through tho crowd very easily. Do,
there's a dear boy."
Fred got out, and did as she bade him.
Sylvia eat in the carriage, looking curi
ously at the surging crowd. The horses
shied a little at some passing torches,
and Sylvia leaned forward thoughtless
ly, so that tho light fell full upu.i her
beautiful face, with its misty glory of yel
low hair.
The crowd saw her.
"Whew! ain't she a stunner?" cried
some coarse fellow, with a leer in his eye
and in a moment several ugly faces were
peering in the carriage door,makiug vul
gar comments and shouting their approv
al. With a low, frightened cry, Sylvia
shrank back into the carriage.
"I say, beauty, gimme a kiss, won't
you?" cried a low fellow, with his hund
on the door, and his foot on the step.
"This is Mr. Scott's carriage!" she
cried, frantically. "Help! help! '
A strong hand camo to her deliver
anco. The ruffian was dragged away by
the collar; thore was a tierco scuttle out
fide of tho carriage, and, cowering in
one corner, Sylvia heard the cry of
"Police!" Then there ws a roaring in
her ears, nnd she came very near faint
ing. Suddenly come one touched her,
and said, in low, tender tones:
"Sylvia, are you safe?"
"Webster!" she sobbed. "Oh, thank
God! Take me home take me home!"
He had gathered her in his arms, and
she was too much frightened to resist.
"Drivo on," he cried to the coachman.
But this was impossible now, for the w ay
was fairly blocked.
In tho crowd a tight was in progress,
for tho rowdies who had accosted Sylvia
resented the interference of some oue
who had come to her rescue, and a
passage-at-arms followed. Two fellows
in particular closed in a scuflle, and, be
fore the police arrived, they had drawn
weapons.
The sharp report of a pistol was heard
unexpectedly. But, in the surge of a
scuttle, the course of the ball was changed
completely. Flvingwideof its intended
victim, it sped over tho heads of tho
crowd and struck Sylvia's father, who
was still speaking. He fell forward,
blood gushing from a wound in his side.
"Mr. Scott is assassinated," was the
cry that echoed through tho streets.
Sylvia heard it, and sank insensible into
Webster's arms.
That was an awful night. Fred, de
layed in a scuffle with a thief who tried
to pick his pocket, came home, wild
with anxiety, having failed on his re
turn to find either Sylvia or tho carriage.
Mr. Scott was in a dangerous condition,
but not dead. It was a singular sight,
in tho weeks that followed to see tho op
position candidate spending all his leis
ure time at tho bedsido of his antagon
ist. "You'll beat mo now, Arbuthnot,"
Mr. Scott said, with the resignation of
extreme weakness. "Ten days before
election make or mar a candidate, and I
haven't the ghost of a show, lying here
like a helpless baby."
"I don't teel so sure, sir," Eaid Web
ster, quietly. "You were very popular
as controller, and a great many of tho
opposition are going to vote for you.";
"Maybe so. But, if I am beaten, I'll
have tho consolation of knowing it was
by a good man."
But Arbuthnot was right. A great
many of tho opposition did vote for Mr.
Scott. Tho wound ho had received,
moreover, awoke general sympathy, and
so brought him votes. Ho had in the
district a majority of five hundred,
which elected him.
When the returns were all in, and
Webstor knew positively that ho was do
fcatcd, ho came to Sylvia with a smiling
face.
"I am beaten," ho said bravely. "But
I shall count my loss as little if you will
only renominate mo as your husband."
Sho looked at him with shining eyes
and held out her hand with a sweet im
pulsiveness. "You are elected by an overwhelm
ing majority," sho said, softly.
He took her in his arms and politics
were nowhere.
"But I think that I ought to ask you
to forgive me," she said at length. "You
have beloved beautifully, dear; and I
am proud of you if you do belong to
the opposition. I 'hink every mon has
a right to his convictions, provided they
are generous, and and if a man has a
taste lor politics a real taste I mean
of course ho can't be blamed for "
Here she was spared the necessity for
further humiliation for Webster stopped
her mouth with kisses.
The second year of their marriage,
Arbuthnot was again nominated for Con
gross, and ran so much better than the
candidate of tho popular party that he
polled a higher majority than any candi
date who ever ran in that district.
Irrigation in Egypt.
The ancient wealth of Egypt has ever
been in its crop of corn. As surely as
the seasons como round, so surely has
tho Nile risen year by year. From the
earliest time the valley of the Nile has
been divided by earthen embankments
into a succession of great flats, measur
ing occasionally as much as 100,000
acres. The rising Hood is diverted by a
series of short canals into these flats,
where the water stands two or three feet
deep until it has soaked the soil and
deposited its rich alluvial mud. By this
time the Nile has subsided. Tho drying
mud is rudely plowed and sown, and
four OB five mouths after the crop is
reaped. No rain has fallen on it,
but the soil has been sufficiently
saturated to require no further
watering. A rich crop is produced, but
by this system only one crop in the year,
and during tho summer months, when,
from its latitude and temperature, one
might expect Egypt to be yielding sub
tropical fruits, the empty fields lie baked
and parched. Muhamiued Ali Pasha,
whose genius and energy created modern
Egypt, soon recognize i that more might
be obtained out of the soil than this one
crop of wheat or beans. He set to work,
therefore, in Lower Egypt to deepen the
canals, so that they should flow in low
as well as hitrh .Nile. His people were
not long in discovering the benefits this
conferred on them. Pumps and water
wheels soou lined the banks of the
canals. Egypt became known as a cotton-producing
country, and during tho
American civil war. twenty yearn ago,
wealth poured into it. But this new
system was a vastly more complicated
one than that which it superseded. To
suit the convenience of wealthy men
numerous canals were cut, without sys
tem or arrangement. Complaints soon
began that the crops were deteriorating,
that the soil was being exhausted, no
longer replenished by lying two months
a year under muddy water. Iu many
places a salt tllorescence appeared on
the surface fatal to vegetation. In high
Nile there was abundance of water for
all, but in low Nile, just when the cotton
crop wanted it most, there was least to
be had, and then the peasant's poor little
patch had every chance of being with
ered, w hile tho pasha's broad acres were
flourishing. Worst of all, this great
network of canals was yearly tilled
with Nile deposit which had yearly to
be removed, and an unpaid urmv of 00, -000
peasants was employed for about
half of every year effecting the neces
sary clearances. In tho long, narrow
valley of I'pper Egypt, except in oue
portion, the old I'haraonic system of ir
rigation still prevails, and here the
Egyptian has little to learn. In the
delta the new cultivation with perennial
irrigation is practiced, and in this, the
richest part of the country, Lord Duii'er
in soou saw the gravest reasons for aux
iety. A system h;id been created which
the people did not understand. Ignor
ance of the most ordinary rules of engi
neering, indolence, and coiruptiou were
fast destroying the country. XinetseiUh
Century.
SOMETHING ABOUT SIGNS.
EELIC3 or AH AVCIEXTT FOBU OT
ADVERTISING.
t'ltrioxltlea of Slrn Hoards Imblem
nllc sign of Olil Inna Origin of
(lic Wooden Figure.
The "rooster," so prominent, was an
old Dutch emblem, formerly much used
us a weather-cock in New Amsterdam.
Signs and emblems in all countries are a
curious study and one who has traveled
much can always recall curiosities in this
line, found more especially in old coun
try towns and out-of-the-way places.
Advertising is now so general and run to
such an extent that few of tho old-fashioned
signs remain in tho large cities ex
cept tho tobacconists' figures, tho three
balls of "my uncle," tho barbers' poles
and occasionally a pestle and mortar at a
druggist's and a gilt hammer or some
implement of trade. The lager beer
signs King Gambrinus and others are
modern conceits. I am inclined to think
this divinity is a sort of modification of
Bacchus, a nineteenth century creation
for presiding over malt and hops instead
of the juice of tho grapo, and more
warmly clothed than his youthful origi
nator. In the small towns at the South many
of tho inns and taverns have the old
signs of the colonial times, such as "The
White Swan," "Tho Golden Lamb" and
other emblems on battered boards in
washed-out colors. Not very long
ago a sign-painter was an important
person and regarded as no mean
artist, being hospitably entertained
as ho traveled through the country with
his materials of trade. Many impecun
ious portrait painters decorated sign
boards with headsof Washington, Frank
lin and distinguished heroes. Much in
genuity was spent on emblematic signs,
ligurc-hcads and weather-cocks, almost
equal to that now expended in painting
rocks and covering walls and fences with
puffs of trado and medicinal cure-alls. It
is a wonder shopkeepers and trades
men have not adopted armorial bearings,
"Labor est Nobilis." Each mighthavo
on his escutcheon some emblem or de
vice signifying his trade or occupation.
England was famous for her signs,
Borne of which, the Boar's Head, the Star
and Garter, have historical famo. In
Nuremburg and old continental cities it
is very interesting to decipher the
weather-beaten signs and emblems still
hanging in the narrow, crowded streets
and alleys and in our own country their
history is well worth tracing. In the his
torical museum of tho old South church,
in Boston, is preserved a colonial sign
of a flowing Punch Bowl, once much ad
mired as a work of art. New England
discouraged all such worldly emblems,
and an old traveler complains, after a
journey in a stage coach, that "tho pas
sengers were a thirsty sot, who got out
at every sign-board," thus showing that
there were a considerable number in
spito of Puritan scrunles and denuncia
tions. Philadelphia signs are early
spokenof as being remarkably well uaint
ed. A sign-painter named Matthew Pratt
earned distinction for himself in his
calling. He painted tho sign for tho
Federal convention in 1788, put up first
on the corner of Fourth and Chestnut
streets. Pratt was a schoolmate of Ben
jamin West, but found his art of paint
ing portraits insufficient to support an
increasing family and took to the more
lucrative calling of sign decorator. Sev
eral of his signs were quite famous in
Philadelphia. One, a game cock on a
beer house in Spruce street, and a fox
chase on Arch street, were quite artistic
pictures. He sometimes put poetical
couplets at the bottom of his signs.
Many of the old Pennsylvania towns
were noticeable for their sign-boards in
the days of turnpike roads, toll bridges
and lumbering stage coaches, and later
the long wagon trains of western travel
ers; to these a "Rising Sun" painted in
lavish colors, a "lien and Chickens" or
the head of the "Father of his Country"
were joyfully greeted as notices of re
freshment for weary men and beasts. On
the stage route from Philadelphia to Bal
timore some persons now remember the
"Heart in Hand," expressing a welcome;
"The Three Tuns," promising great
joviality; also a tavern with a full length
portrait of "Mad"' Anthony Wayne on a
swinging sign in nn iron frame. Only a
few years ago this was still hanging, bat
tered and weatherbcatcn, among cars
ai.d locomotives. The old "Wheat
field Inn" has been denuded of
its field of waving grain overrun by hun
gry rats and is now a modern hotel.
The "Indian Queen" was a uoted hotel
on this route, said to accommodate "two
hundred guests and have bells in every
room."
The Fountain inn, whero Washington
always stayed ou his way north from Vir
ginia, was built round a court, in w hich
was a fountain, and had shady galleries
on csch floor. This inn was constructed
after the pattern of those in England in
the time of Shakespeare, whero he used
to act plays with his comedians for tho
amusement of his friends and patrons.
At a Baltimore inn, the Seven Starj,
the first American lodge of Odd Fellows
was instituted and grew into importance.
These Seven Stars were gorgeously gilt
upon a bright blue firmament. At the
Thrco Loggerheads, a dingy old inn near
the docks, was received tho first warrant
ever granted a United States lodge from
Creut Britain, This was a curious sign
swung ou an iron pole. On each side was
painted two very ugly faces, wiih the
words, "We three loggerheads bo."
To our country belongs tho honor of
originating the wooden figures so much
used by tobacconists. These were very
numerous more so than even at the pres
ent day. A story is told of a foreigner,
landing in New York, inquiring if they
were statues of distinguished Americans.
Ben Jouson in his "Bartholomew Fair,"
speaks of the "Black Boy, ' where to
bacco was sold; also of the "Indian
Queen." Old figureheads of ships were
often used and added to, and wero very
funny. Sir Walter Ilaleigh, tho intro
ducer of the weed, is a favorite tobac
conist sign in England; "Jim Ctow,"
"Uncle Tom" and "Coptain Jinks," all
of American parentage. The "Indian
King" was popular after 1710, owing to
a visit of four Indian chiefs, who wero
received with much ceremony by Queen
Anne, and were much sought after by
sight-seers.
Altogether old signs deserve a passing
mention and would bo an interesting
corner in antiquarian research. Many
would require considerable ingenuity to
trace their origin and applicability. A
pair of "snow-shoes" mystified the in
habitants of Chelsea in the Revolutionary
war. They were set up over an inn
when snow-shoes were supposed to be a
needful part of the equipment of soldiers
sent to fight "Mr. Washington and his
rebels." But I have drifted back to
signs, my original "moutons" from our
American specialty, the wooden "mani
kins," and before closing tho interesting
subject I must mention the "holly-tree
inns." These were established in Eng
land in tho interest of temperance and it
is only lair to give them a passing men
tion, as mostly the signs mentioned have
been to the advertising of Bacchus.
These inns were admirable in their ar
rangements, bright, cosy and attractive.
They adopted tho old-fashioned sign and
were economical and comfortable, so that
tho sight of the bright berries and shin
ing leaves of the holly was very attrac
tive. Theso "holly-tree inns" are still
scattered over England. Philadelphia
Timet.
The Key or Death.
In the collection of curiosities preserve,
in the arsenal of Venice, there is a key
of which the following singular tradition
is related: "About the year 1,000 ono
of those dangerous men, in whom extra
ordinary talent is only the fearful source
of crime and wickedness beyond that of
ordinary men, came to establish himself
as a merchant or trader in Venice. Tho
strangor, whose name was Tebaldo, be
came enamored of the daughter of an an
cient house, already affianced to another,
lie demanded her hand in marriage, and
was, of course, rejected. Enraged at
this, he studied how to bo revenged.
Profoundly skilled in tho mechanical
arts, he allowed himself no rest until he
had invented the most formidable weapon
wnich could bo imagined. This was a
key of large size, the handle of which
was so constructed that it could
be turned round with little diffi
culty; when turned it discovered
a spring, which, on pressure, launched
from tho other end a needlo
or lancet of such subtle fineness that it
entered into the flesh and buried itself
there without leaving external trace.
Tebaldo waited in disguise at tho door
of the church in which the maiden whom
ho loved was about to receive the nuptial
benediction. The assassin sent tho
slender steel unpercoived into tho breast
of the bridegroom. The wounded man had
no suspicion of injury, but seized with a
sudden and sharp pain iu tho midst of
the ceremony.he fainted, and was carried
to his house, amid tho lamentations of
tho bridal party. Vain was all tho skill
of the physicians, who could not deviso
the cause of this strange illness; and in
a few days he died. Tebaldo again de
manded the hand of the maiden from her
parents, and received a second refusal.
They, too, perished miserably in a few
days. The alarm which these deaths
which appeared almost miraculous occa
sioned excited tho utmost vigilance of tho
magistrates; and when, on close examin
ation of the bodies, the small instrument
was found in tho gangrened flesh,
terror was universal; every one feared
for his own life. The maiden thus cruel
ly orphaned had passed the first months of
her mourning in a convent, when Tebaldo,
hoping to bend her to his will, entreated
tospcak with her aftho grato. The face of
tho foreigner had been ever displeasing
to her, but since the death of all those
most dear to her it had becomo odious
(as though she had a presumption of his
guilt), and her reply was most decisive
in tho negative. Tebuldo, beyond him
self with rage, attempted to wound her
through the grato, and succeeded ; tho
obscurity of tho place prevented his
movement being observed. On hor re
turn to her room, the maiden felt a pain
in her breast, and uncovering it, sho
found it. spotted with a single drop of
blood. Tho pain increased, the surgeons
who hastened to her assistance taught
by the past wasted no time in con
jecture, but, cutting deep into the
wounded part, extracted tho needle be
fore any mortal mischief had commenced,
and saved tho life, of the lady. The
Stato inquisition used every means to
discover the hand which dealt these in
sidious and irresistible blows. The visit
of Tebaldo to the convent caused sus
picion to fall heavily upon him. His
house was carefully searched, tho infa
mous invention discovered, and ho per
ished on the gibbet. I'ltUie Opinion.
Food Wasted.
Dr. Smyth, of New Haven, iu con
eluding his series of sermons on social
ism, made this remark : "America wastes
enough yearly to feed the thousands who
are now said to be out of employment.
The time may yet come when it shall be
considered practical somewhere in the
course of the education which u Stato
gives to the people to teach girls how to
extract tho greatest amount of nutri
ment from the common materials of food,
and a careful statistician justly remarks
that 'whoever can teach tho masses of
the people how to get five cents' worth
a day more comfort or force out of tho
food which ono consumes will ad.l to
their productive power what would bo
equal to oue thousand million dollars a
year iu value.' "
The man ou roller skates always strikes
out. That's why ha doesn't plr.y base
ball. AlerctmiU-Travehr,
LITTLE THINGS.
A little thing, a sunny smile,
A loving word ot morn,
And all day long the sun shines bright,
Tho cares of life were made more light,
And sweetest hopes were born.
A little thing, a hasty word,
A cruel frown at morn,
And aching hearts went on their way,
And toiled throughout a dreary day
Disheartened, sad, and lorn.
Ah, bitter words and frown! With thee
No wunt nor pain compares.
Oh, pleasant words und sunny smiles,
Your hidden power our grief beguiles,
And drives away our cares.
Charles Love joy Hill.
HUMOR OF TIIE DAT.
One swallow doesn't make one spring,
but a wasp generally does, provided it
is sat upon. Graphic.
"Sheep shearing is done by machinery
in Australia." In Wallstreet.it is dono
in the old-fashioned way by hand.
Lowell Citizen.
Professor (reading) "Enter Mephis
to!" (Turning to Mr. C, who has just
come in). "Good morning." (General
collapse). Columbia Spectator.
It costs forty-two cents to stop a train.
In spite of this expense we believe it ia
often cheaper to stop the train than it is
to throw a passenger off. Graphic.
Grover Cleveland is not hard of hear
ing, but when anybody asks him who
his first assistant postmaster-general is,
he says "Hay?" Mcrchant'l'raveler.
In the spring thd tuneful tom-cat thrill
creation to the quick;
In the spring the back-room lodger hurls the
fruitless bob-taiied brick.
Washington Hatchet.
Young hopeful (to his sister) I say,
Nell, pass me the butter. Nell (in a tono
of reproach) If what, Johnnie? John
nie (goaded to desperation by tho delay)
If you can reach it. Life.
THE LEVEL-HEADED MERCHANT.
The merchant now devises
A plan brisk trade to win;
He straightway advertises
And rakes the shekels in.
Boston Courier.
A New Jersey man broke up house
keeping and went to a hotel to hoard in
order that his wife might enjoy roller
skating to her heart's content. Opinion
is divided on the question whether he
loves hor or wants her to break her neck.
Call.
HARD TO EXPLAI.V.
Some things in this worh
Are hard to explain;
The lighter the dude
The heavier the cane,
The bigger the hat
ine smaller tue Drain;
Does any one know
Why these things are tol
Boston Courier.
A girl with three arms is one of the
attractions of a Louisiana show. This
young lady ought to be sought for by
every marriageable young man in tho
neighborhood. She could put two arms
around a man's neck while she turned
pancakes with the other. San Fraiieitco
1'od.
When first I went to the skating rink.
Said I to myself, said I,
Of the cup of pleasure I will drink,
Said I to myself, said I,
I'll fasten the rollers on my feet
And some fancy skating do so neat
My style with envy the crowd wiil greet,
Said I to myself, said I,
When I tried to straighten out my logs,
Said I to myself, said 1,
Old fellow, you're shaky on vour pegs,
Said I to myself, said I,
T waa ncnnllv cilliul ull t.liii flrutr 4
And saw two mil. ion still's or more,
And in sev'ral spots feel mighty sore
Said 1 to myself, said I.
Sorristown Herald.
The Crofters or Scotland.
Tho cable dispatches during tho past
few mouths frequently referred to troubles
wiili tho Scotch Crofters. An articlo
iu tho Chicago Saturday Evening Herald
tells who and what tho Crofters aro. Wo
quote :
Much of tho land in tho Highlands of
Scotlund is owned by landlords who
never go near their property, and all tho
disadvantages of nbsenteo landlordism
are felt as much in the island of Skyeas
in Cork or Tipperary. Tho landlord en
trusts his hind to an agent, known as tho
tacksman, and the tacksman in turn lots
out tho laud to farmers, who sub-let
patches, or crofts, to tho crofter, who,
according to recent testimony, is of all
men mobt mierable. These poor
wretches live at the mercy of their farmer
landlords, or tho more cruel tacksmen.
In thousands of instances they live in
black, filthy hovels, unlit for human
habitation. if they improve the croft
at their own expense, tho rent is raised.
If they complain they are told to "move)
off," as the land is wanted for sheep and
deer. It is reported lhat tho island of
Skye alone, between 1810 and 188:1, the
landlords served no less than 0,1100 no
tices of eviction on their tenants. Goaded
on by untold sufferings, the crofters have
at length adopted tho policy of "no
rent."
Mustaches in Curl Papers.
"That is one of the latest ideas in the
barber business," remarked the proprie
tor of a large barber shop down, as he
pointed to several gentlemen with their
mustaches done up in curl papers.
"Tho trouble has alwavs been to give
tho mustache u nice curl, but the time
in which to do it was so short that t
was impossible. At last the idea of
using papers was tried and found to bo
just the thing. Vou see, when a custo
mer gets into a chair tho first
thing done is to roll the ends of his
mustache up in papers, in which condi
tion they are left until the shaving nud
combing has been completed, when they
me tukcu out of the papers, and fouui'
to have a Cue curl." -co Yurk tiaix.
f