the" 'forest befoelican J ptjliil rthrel very Wortiftufljij. by J. E. WCHK. Olllae in BmcnrbAiiu & Co.'a Building E1M STICK ET, TJONESTA, Pa, Terms, ... 81.00 per Year. No anWrtptiotie received for a shorter period thnn three months. r Ol)r-f1nml..rc .oi'r!fcd from nil twrtii of the country. No notice will be taken of anonymous communication.. ' RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Sqnara, one Imh, on InFerMon. t 1 fO ' One Square, on Inch, one month,... S On One Square, one Inch, throe monthe. t W One Pi nam, one Inch, one fear 10 00 Two Squares, one year II 00 Quarter Column, one jenr.... f) 06 Half Column, one year M 00 One Column, one yer M )00 tC I,"cal advertiaemente ten cent. tr line each in acrtlon, Marriage and death notice, ernt'e. All bills for yearly adrertl.emeuta collected qnar. tcrly. Temporary advert be in en ta muat be paid in gdvanoe. Job work cash on delivery. mm Li YOL.IVIII. NO. 3. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 6, 1885. $1.50 PER ANNDM. f ri A I- V M i A. EPIOFIAMMATIC GEMS. A KOP. A fop li on who tnkes great pains About everything except his brains, A CAP1TU.. INVESTMENT. If I had a fortune of gold to invest, It wotM n lit do worry or trnnbHn'; To Ireland I'd send it, that "Islo of the Bleat," Where the Capital always la Dublin. TUX BWKKT BUY-AND-BY. "By end by it easily anid." Hamlet Aa Jones and his wife go buxom and awoot Taaard a milliner's shop on thoir way down the street, Where a "duck of a bonnet" she chanced to And with words most seductive aha coaxd him to buy. "It's only twelve dollar ; come, doar, let's go buy It." "'All right," repliod Jones, and paused on ; "let's go by it 1" SYMBOLIC! LOVE. My love for U will ne'er D K Nor ever grow 0 loss ; 1 0 U both night and day, & love U 8 X 8. POETRY vs. moBsc 8uecss is the poetry of life as it goes, For we find, to our coat, its re-versei are proso. a 'aud 'it. 0t the letter h throughout their land, The English soom to have a dread ; They've seldom got It in their 'and, And never in their 'ead. AX KNIQMA. . From majesty take bead aud tall, Be suro and leave the rest : Thou, if you do, you cannot fail To see it's but a jest Cincinnati Enquirer. THE LOST I. 0. U. Some men seem to take naturally to whatever promises to bo unfortunate to them, and it must have been in a blind obedience to this law that Charles Day Insisted on regarding Jonas Terry as his friend. There was nothing in common between the men but a love for Josie Merritt, and such a circumstance is not usually conducive to friendly feeling. Charles had wavy brown hair, a pleas ant face, and a line tenor voice. Jonas kept his hair cut after some penitentiary fashion, his features were thick and 'ommonplaco, and he had a short, stumpy figure. Their mental differences were quite as great: Charles was rapid and bright, Jonas slow and secretive; Charles also was affectionate and prodigal, Jonas saving and prudent, and inclined to make a morit of always looking out for himself. Both were young men of some fortune and position, but Jonas alone was in-business. Charles lived upon the rents of his property, aud ;dovoted his time to the ladies in general, aud to Josie Merritt in particular. One evening in Juue tlioy sat together in the library of Charles' line house. ,.n They had been discusMug some summer plan, and Charles said, l' " Leave off griuding at that money mill of jours, Jonas, and come with me; we ahall have a pleasant month's cruise." 'I cannot possibly do it. To tell the truth, I am iii a very tight pltico, and Jt is a bad time for raising money." ''How much do you want?" "About twelve thousand." "Will ten thousand do!" "Yes; ten would put me out of straits. In .fact, ten thousand now might be worth fifty thousand to me." Charles walked to his secretary, and unlocking it, counted out the amount in bills, and hnnded thorn to his friend, saving: "Just g'.ve mc your I. O. V., Jonas, for 1 wo months aficr ditto. Will that be long enough?" "You don't mean this, Charles?" "Why, yes, 1 do, old fellow. It is not much of a kindness, after all. You see, Merritt naid me my quarter's rents to-day, and 1 shall be sure to spend all before the quarter is over if I keep, the money where I enn get at it. Jn two months I shall be out of funds, and in tho height of the season. It is a plan of miuo to secure ten thousand for a clearing up in September." ' "Thank you, Charles. I will accept the loanwkh pleasure, aud if you should need it before, why, just drop nie aline. I shall be out of trouble long before Sep tember." The young man then drew a pen and some paper toward him, wrote out the I. O. U., and handed it tv) h' friend, ob serving, as ho did so, "Allow me to say, Charles, that it is foolish to keep so much money hare. Tut it with your bunker." "Certainly. Merritt paid me this afternoon. It was so hot when he left I thought I would not go down-town until the morning. There is no danger. Nobrdy but you and Merritt uud myself knows anything about it." Then he lifted the I. O. U., glanced at it, ouci rose to put it in his secretary; 'but as ho was crossing the room Jonas siid, "I heard to-day that Josie Merritt ik to marry Lieutenant I'rice." I In an instant tho younguian's thoughts vfcre diverted from his money afluirs. . le was inueh excited at the informa tion, refused to believe it, and went over and over, with a passionate earnestness, Lis reason for being certain that such a thing could not be. "Why," lie kept repeating," "I have kniown her ever since she was a littlt; bit ( a g'r. 1 carrird her bouks to school; went witn iitr to rue u&uciujj ciiifca; her father has been my lawyer and my adviser; I have been as much at homo in Merritt's house as in my own. Pooh! the thing is impossible. Josie never would treat me like that. , won't bciieve it." "Go and ask her a straightforward question." "I can't. It is too late to-night, and I leave by tho noon train to morrow. I intended to have that matter fully un derstood this summer, but I was in no hurry. A love affair is all spoiled when papa and mamma and the lowycr and the world como into it. I have told Josij that, end sho and I understand one another. Will you be calling there soon, Jonas?" "I will try, if you wish it. "They leave town in a few days, but call before, if you can, and send me word if you see anything of the lieutenant." "1 will. Lock up your secretary, Charles ; I see it is still open. I am very much obliged very much." "All right. You are very welcome. I am jii9t putting ten thousand safely away for when I need it." Charles was much annoyed at what he had heard, but ho did not forget his sec retary. It had a secret drawer, and was capable of being fastened by three in tricate locks.' lie carefully secured all three, and then sat down to smoke and think over again tho absurdity of Josie caring for any one but himsef. In half an hour he was satisfied that the thing was impossible, and he rose rather wea rily, determined to sleep upon his faith in her lovo. As ho passed the table he saw a piece o7 paper that attracted him ; it was Jonas' I. O. U. He had forgotten to put it away, and it was too much trouble to unlock the secretary again. Ho hesitated a moment where to secure it, but almost instantly selected a place ho considered singularly safe, deposited it there, and then went to bed and to sleep. The next day ho went to Newport.and thero waited impatiently the advent of the Merritts. lie fore he got, any letter from Jonas, Josie herself had satisfied him. They had a charming stroll to gether, in which everything was talked over, and left Charles in what he consid ered a very happy and enviable posi tion. Nothing marred the heaven of their next two months. At the end of that time tho i reckless lover began to be in want of funds, and as he had heard nothing from Jonas, he determined to go to New York and collect his I. O. U. He had not a care on his heart about it until he had searched his secretary again and failed to find the paper. He lit a cigar, And sat down to think. Then he sud denly remembered that ho had found the paper after he had locked his secretary, and that ho had hid it. He even re membered the little laugh of delight with which he had put it "in such a capi tal place. But what place? He could not remember that. The room, as said before, was the li brary, and the walls were covered to a considerable height with books, the top of tho shelves being ornamented with busts, Indian boxes, and Chinese cabi nets and jars. He looked behind all the books, opened those within easy reach, rifled the boxes and cabinets, and peeped into all the vo9es. The search was con tinue.) half jvough the night, but the poper whs, ' ;found. Ho tr' think that it was of no consccjf j, but somehow his heart failed him. Early next day he went to the oflice of Jonas Terry, and found him there. Jonas was busy writing, but he lifted his head with a smile, and rose heartily to greet his friend. "Jonas," said Charles, with a puzzled, eager look, "that I. O. U. I have lost it. Searched everywhere all night for it, and ran't lay my bauds on it." "What I. O. U.?" "The one you gave me 'for the ten thousand dollars I lent you in June. After you went I eat down to think about josie Merritt, and when I was get ting faleepy I fouud it on the table. I was too lazy to unlock my secretary again, and I bid it somewhere; or else I thought I hid it, and left it about, and the servants have swept it away. How ever I will give you an acknow'edge ment that will cover all possible claim if ever it I should turn up. That will do, you know." "You must be dreaming, Charles. I know nothing about an L O. U., and I don't at all see what you are drifting at." "Jonas! Y'ou could not be such a scoundrel! Y'ou are joking, of course." "Mr. Day, I request you to leave ray odice at once, sir. I am not to be bullied or black-mailed in this way, I assure you." Then Charles Btruck tho scoundrel, and there was such an uproar of words and blows that the, police were called in, and tho affair became sufficiently public, and indeed went into the courts. Of course Charles got tho worst rl it every way. Ho had no particle of evidence to show for his claim; he was fast, ' fashionable, aud extravagant, while Jonas was uni versally spoken of us "estimable ' and re liable." Society turned the cold shoulder toward him, and mothers for bado their daughters to ride in his com pany or accept him for a partner in the dance. "But then," as Mrs.'; Merritt shrewdly said, "his engagement to our Josie bus just become known." I It was remarkable that after tfyis quar rel Jonas Terry's business grew j with an amazing rapidity, l'erhaps the saving of that ten thousand had been th3 turning-point of his fortune, We all know how the want of a tive-dollar-billcan sometimes lose us an amount amazingly disproportionate. Socially, too his suc cess was very great, lie married a beau tiful, stylish woman, who fully shared his antipathy to the Days, and who never lost an opportunity of moitifyi.Tig them: and social slights are biljter enough to those whose whole life turns upon social success. la fact Mr.and Mrs. Jonas Terry, with their grand house and exclusive entertainments and fine turn-out, were tho Mordccai sitting in the gate of all Charles' and Josie's hap piness. Many a time the two had gone together over everything in the room, taken every book from the shelves, and examined every crevice in the cases, but all in vain. The I. O. U. was evidently lost, and Charles said, after every fresh search and disappointment, "No use, Josie; I tell you everything goes against honor and virtue. If you want to be pointed out as a pattern of all excellencies, you must be in secret a natural and practical villain." So the years went by fifteen of them. The I. O. U. was not forgotten. They lived in a society where people have lit tle else to do but remember the antece dents of its members, and Charles Day and his wife very often felt the influence of Jonas' accusation. The two men never spoke. If they passed each other on the drive Jonas cracked his whip of fensively, or Mrs. Terry looked scornfully at the shrinking couple, but they had long ago said all to each other that it was possible to say. In the fifteenth summer after the loan Charles went yachting, and on one memorable night was shipwrecked. Al most by a miracle, and after he had sunk thrice, he was rescued. The first words he uttered to his wife were: "Josie, I have found the I. O. U. Write down just what I say: "Shakespeare, Knight't Edition, vol. iv., page 213." fourth com partment, iourth shelf, fourth book." Josie wrote it down; but he was so restless lest anything should now happen to the library that he returned to New York as soon as there was the least safety in doing so. When he arrived at nomc ho went straight to the library.and putting his hand on a certain volume; opened it at the page he had indicated, and there was the lost NO. U. "When I was drowning, Josie, the last time I sunk, everything ri ever did be came in a moment's flash clear as day to me, and I saw myself putting the note in the place I found it. It is wonderful. But it is true, and, Josie dear, thank Oodl my name will bo cleared at last." The clearing of his name was Charles' first thought, but after it came tho very satisfactory one of making Jonas pay the principal and interest due him. "And after this is done, Josie, I shall sue him for defamation of character, and make him pay for cVery insolence." This was no idle threat. The next morning Charles' lawyer confronted the false-hearted scoundrel with his I. O. U. and entered proceeding at once to re cover. Jonas at first tried to compro mise, but this offer Charles indignantly rejected. "I want the world to see," he said, "that though punishment for a cowardly wicked deed be long delayed, it is sure to come." And perhaps the social and commer cial world in which these two men moved never had a more vivid illustra tion of this truth. The business that had been built upon a fraud and a wrong crumbled away as if touched by some withering blight. The court awarded Charles Day principal and full interest, and a subsequent action for de famation gave him, in reparation for his fifteen years' slandered name, fifty thous and dollars. But by that time the firm of Jonas Terry was unable to meet such a claim. He shut his doors in dishonor, and fled in the darkness of night from the thous ands whom he had robbed. 'It is a great punishment," said Josie. sorrowful!?: "and he has four little boys." "It was a great crime Josio; and the wrong to my purse was the least part of the wrong." But Mrs. Terry, sitting in her wrecked home, took a different view of the case. "Charles Day is entirely to blame," she said. "His weakness and his laziness threw the tempation into Jonas's way. It is the weak men that make the wicked ones. Harper's Weekly. Farms on the Baltic. A more beautiful farming country does not exist than that along the southern shore of the Baltic. No fences mark the boundaries of tho fertile farms which stretch away over the rolling hills to the distant horizon, all aglow with yellow grain. At intervals a clump of trees often seen intensely dark against the ripe grain shows where a farmhouse stands, and giant wiudmills swing their sails on the highest hill-tops. The high way, a finely built chaussee, leads straight across the country, only curving to pass through some village. Mountain ash, birch and cherry troes border tho road in an unbrokeu rank. In tho ditches and by the roadside grow countless varieties of wild flowers a perfect paradise for the botanist. Ero.n the highest hill the eye meets to the South a succession ol grain fields. To the North, beyond the soft undulatious of the cultivated hills, tho Baltic shimmers in the strong sun light, a narrow line, sharp at the hori zon. Tho dimensions of the brick barns prove the accustomed magnitude of the harvest; the luxury of the farmers' houses tells of inherited success. liar r' Mmjazine. Cure for Drunkenness or Morphinism, Dr. Fleischl, of Vienna, declares that morphinism, alcoholism, aud similar habits can now be cured rapidly and painlessly by means of eocaiu chioride. The method is very simple a with drawal, either gradual or ahrupt aud complete, or the habitual intoxicant, and treatment of the nervous and other eyin totus which arises therefrom by means ol hypodermic injections of the coeain. Ho claims that in ten days a euro may be affected in any case. Tho djo ol coca u chloride, hypo-icrinically, j3 irom one twelfth to one-four! h of u graiu, dis solved in water," Ued as necesbary, - THE WILD IIOG OF TEXAS. A STOKT Or IXI FECCAKY S XVSOKZ TABLB COURAOE. A Drove Tavcklea m Railroad Train and ntea on the Track. Hunting; the Peccary "I'll never forget the first time I ran into a drove of peccaries," said an Erie locomotive engineer, recalling some of his experiences. "A drove of peccaries 1" said the re porter, and his tone must have grated on tho engineer, for he replied, testily : "Yes, a drove of peccaries. You'll admit, I s'poso, that there are peccaries? Didn't you ever hear that they ran in droves?" "Oh, certainly!" said the reporter. "But they're down in South America, Mexico, or Central America, some where," "Are they? Thank you!" said the engineer. "Did you s'pose I thought they were rooting 'round in this railroad yard? Had you an idea they were chasing the beechnut and the acorn up along the Erie line? I know where peccaries are, and I think I ought to. And it wasn't in South America, Mexico, nor Central America that I met 'em, neither. It was in Texas, and, as I said before, I'll never forget the first time I ran into a drove of 'em. "I had gone down to take a job on a Texas railroad, like a good many other sap-headed railroaders from the North. I didn't know any more about Texas than well, than you do, but I went down there to run a train, and I thought I could do it. I got a passenger train, and had a fireman who was from the North. I had got the hang of the road fairly, and was biling along one day through a piece of woods when all of a sudden my fireman boilers: " Mewhillikins ! yonder's a drove of hogs on the track 1' "Sure enough, about three train lengths ahead was a big drove of the ugliest-looking hogs I ever saw. They were taking their time in walking across the track. At first I thought I'd sock on the brakes and try to stop, but on sec ond thought I made up my mind that it would b3 safer to cut through the drove with full head on. I pulled ner wide open and let the whistlo sing. Of course, I thought the sound of the whistle would scare the hogs and likely cause 'em to scatter and make an opening for me. But the minute they heard the sound they all stopped dead, and the ones that had got off: the track came crowding back to get on. again. Every hog bris tled up and showed fight, and when I struck 'em they were standing there like a wall to receive me. Of course the en gine knocked 'cm right and left, and cut a swath through the drove like a red-hot iron through a piece of butter, but the ones that were left flew fiercely at the wheels of the cars as they passed, and were crushed to death by the dozen. When we got through them I looked back, and there stood the rem nant of the drove, as defiant as ever, i " 'Well,' says I to my fireman, 'is that grit?' " 'Is it?' says he. 'Is No. 4 sandpaper grit?' "Funny looking hogs, ain't they?' says I. " 'No Berkshire in 'em, you bet," says he. "So when we got to the next station I says to the agent : " 'I ran into a drove 'o somebodys hogs back yonder, and killed a couple dozen 'o them. I s'pose we'll find out f whose they are when the suit for dam ages comes in to tho company.' says I, as I pulled out. The agent just laid down and howled, and I wondered what ailed him. When we got to the end of the run I was telling a native railroader about the drove of ugly hogs, and he says: " 'Oh that's nawthin.' Them's pec' ries. Lucky you didn't stawp yer train.' " 'Why?' says I. "'Why!" suys he. 'Waal, ef ye had a stawped them pee'ries 'd a bounced inter yer cab quicker'n a t'rantuly kin kill m mouse, 'an thud a chawed yo up thrum yer cow-lick down to yer last bunion. Then thud a s'round ed them ;. there cars, an' the fust galoot that would a opened a door thud a chawed him up. Arter a day or so tho comp'ny 'd a misled the train an' 'd a sent another ingine out to look it up, an' when the ingineer found it an' stawped his ingine to hook on to it, them pee'ries 'd a bounced on his ingine an' chawed him up, an' so it'd a gone on, an' the business o' the road 'd a suffered.' "Accordincr to that, says I, 'the peccary must bo a pusher.' '"Got more vim in him,' says the native, 'than any other citizen o' Texas 'cept the centipede. He'll make ye laugh. The pee'ry's got a mem'ry longer'n thrum h'yer to New Orleans, too, an' the chanres is thut you'll meet them fellers agin that ye see to-day. Mind ye, now ! Don't stawp yer injine.' "Sure as guns, when we went back next day, there in the very saroo spot was the remnant of that drove of pec caries. " ' Waitin' for us, by gravy!1 said my fireman. " So they were. As we tore down on 'em thev braced up and met us faco to 1 face. They sprang at the wheels, grabbed I at the side rods, und fought every truck in the train as the cars passed them. A dozen or more of them were. killed. The peccaries uidn't follow us, but when we went back on the next trip, tbere, at the same spot, was posted all that was left of the drove, evidently waiting to re vengu the death of their compan ions. The drovrf was reduced to twelve. The twelve planted Ihciu- i selves square on the track, facing us. I and never moved an inch as we dashed , upon 'em and scattered 'em right and left along the rails. Looking back after the train had passed the spot, we saw one solitary peccary left alive out of tho drove. I told the native at the end of the run, about the persistent pluck of the peccaries and about killing them all but one, " 'I don't s'pose we'll see him again,' said I. " 'Oh, he'll be tharl' said the native. 'Ye kin bet a bucket o' liquor he'll be tharl Pee'ries don't know setch a thing as backin' out of a fight. He'll be thar.' "And he was there. We could. see him for a mile ahead of us, when we went back next day, standing plump in the middle of the track, or, rathcr,squat ting on his haunches, waiting for us. It seemed n pity to run him down. He rose to his feet as we drew near him and rushed forward to meet us. The engino struck him and hurled him fifty feet out into the woods. We had finished tho drove. "I found out a good many things about tho peccary before I left Texas. There was a time when nothing would kill a peccary but the poisoned arrows of the Central American Indians, but that was before the days of Winchester rifles. A bullet from a Winchester is just searching enough to find a peccary's vitals, but the range don't want to be too long. When a man goes out hunt ing peccaries he doesn't trip lightly through the forest, and, stealing upon the unsuspecting game, bring it down with his unerring rifle. No, not when he hunts peccaries. If he did, nineteen seconds after he fired his first shot he would be proportioned out among the drove in two-ounce lots, buttons, boots, and baggage counted in. The daring peccary hunter shins up a tall tree, near where the charming creature will more than likely soon come to feed on acorns or mast. The peccary has but one vir tue he can't climb a tree. Perched safely on a limb, the brave huntsman waits for the peccary's coming, and when the drove comes trotting and grunting along beneath him, he sends a bullet through a peccary's heart. The wounded peccary lies down at once. He knows just what's the matter. He turns his glittering bead of an eye up to the hunter, and dies without uttering a sound. One peccary killed out of a drove, the hunter must hare ammunition enough to kill all the rest, or provisions enough to last him a year, for the sur vivors at once take positions around the foot of the tree, and there they sit on their haunches, now and then gnawing furiously at the trunk of the tree, wait ing for the hunter to comedown. If hato in the fullest sense of tho word, can be expressed by looks and actions, then the peccary can look and act it toward hu man beings. The hunter shoots one after another of the waiting drove, and each one as it is wounded, lies down without a murmur and dies, never re moving its eyes from its slayer. The living pay no attention to the dead or dying, but sit there on their haunches hoping for revenge until the last one dies. Neie York Hun. Navigation ot the Mississippi. The total navigation of the Mississippi itself is 2,161 miles, but small steamers can ascend 7G0 miles further. The following are its principal navig able tributaries, with the miles open to navigation : Miles. Miles. Minnesota.;.... J5 Wisconsin ltX) 'i, ; ... ... tf u ....I. t: a 64 Iowa Missouri.... Big Horn... Allegheny . . Muskingum. Kentucny. . . Wabash.... Tennessee.. . V til ui rj . ....... ti j ii.n,. i 80 Illinois. &50 474 1,021 110 94 200 mm 3,174 50 &i5 4 105 S5, 270 Yellowstone. Ohio Monongahela Kanawha Green.... ... Cumberland . Clinch.. .A.. 50 Osage 802. White 779 Little White 48 St Francis 180 Black 147 Arkansas v. 8H4 Issaquena 161 Yazoo 2-'8 Big Uatchie 75 Suuflower. 271 Tallahatchie. Red 175 liisr Black 85 ttouCane 54 Cyprc ypress 4-tiUuachita , UX4 Bluck tilBueuf.. 55 na 91 50 Bartholomew.... 100 Tensas Macon oUiTeehe. Atcbafalya 21 KD'Ar bonne. Lafourche 1US1 The other ten navigable tributaries have less than fifty miles each of naviga tion. The total miles of navigation of these fifty-five streams is 16,571 miles, about two-thirds of tho distance around the world. The Mississippi and its tributaries may be estimated to possess 13,5? 1 miles navigable to steamboats, and 20,221 miles navigable to barges. Aeio Orleans Timet-Denwcrat. Why Pa Forgave Her. Once, w hen Carol's mamma was very ill, the little one hushed her sweet voice lest she should "'sturb mamma" A weary time it was for the wee gir lie! She missed mamma; and tired ol watchful Mary, she liked to slip away into papa's study, and play quietly be side him while he wrote his sermon. His presence raado the study a pleasant place. t Mr. May often made calls in the after noon; and one day noticing the shadow on the little girl's face, he said: "I shall be home by four, Carol." Carol watched and waited, and still papa did not come. A thought occurred to her. With a great effort the climbed up to the study clock, aud, opening the uoor, tried to move the hands along, wtien, alas! snap went one of the hands. "Where is my little girli" asked Mr. May, as he entered the house an hour later, hit no little girl appeared. When he entered the study 6be pointed mutely to the clock. "Hut why did my darling touch the clock ?" askf d her papa. And Curol sobbed out: "I wanted to make it time for papa to come homo." And papa could not find H in his heart to chide her. St. Niclwhi. HOW EASILY THINGS GO WRONO, "Alas! how easily things go wrong n A sigh too much or a tear too long, And a father's patience is quite worn out ; There's a hurried stop and a wrathful ehout And the dream of a youthful pair is o'er. A youth escapee through the open door, With terror imprinted upon bia face, And goes down the street at a flying pace With hat in band and a dog in chase. The dog to the flying youth draws nigh ; There's a savage growl and a piercing cry, "Alas I bow easily things go wrong ;" Why did the lover stay go long f A panting youth at his mother's door Is vowing he'll go out to court no more ( A. dog is returning with visage grim, Dragging an ulster's tails with him. "Alas 1 how easily things go wrong," When a lover foolishly tarries too long ; "And yet how easily things go right" When he leaves at a decent time of night. He's wise who this in his memory logs : Fathers are fathers, and dogs are dogs. Boston Courier. HUMOR OF THE DAT. Hard to beat Carpets. . Ma.de of awl work A pair of shoes. A fop is one who takes great pains About everything except his brains. This and That Hot cakes are more powerful at puttinr? down oleomargarine than the board of health. Pittburg Chronicle. "An Original Belle" is the title of a story In an- exchange. She probably never attended a skatingrink. Graphic. There's no trouble about twisting the tail of a sleeping bulldog. The disa greeable part comes when you let go. Chicago Sun. ' j It is said that there is a soft side to"'" every man. That's the reason a dude is afraid to stand on his head. Nev York Journal. A caustic wit, in "speaking of an impe cunious friend, said: "He settles his debts just like clock work tick, tick, tick." Nasi Me Budget. People who live in a malarial section may not believe in the tenets of those sects, but they ultiinotely become quak ers and shakers. Sifting. ' "Suppose," says an exchango, "all the world went to bed at sunset." Oh, well, the world's gas bill would be just as big at the end of the quarter." Norrittovcn Herald. A mischievous boy yelled "rats!" in a rink in this city and nearly created a panic. It is almost impossible for a girl to stand up in a ehair with roller skates on Newark Call. "What One Girl Did," is the title of a story in an exchange. We haven't read it, but presume she told her mother that her beau never stayed later than 10 o'clock. Brooklyn Times. Bright boy Father, I know why George Washington always kept his lit tle hatchet bright. Dull parent Well, my son, why did he? Bright boy Be-, cause he had no ax to grind. Boston Budget. A Western paper speaks of girls at the rink as "Angels on Casters. We have , observed that when one of the angelic creatures gets upon rollers for the first time they "are very apt to casther. Som.' eroille Journal. "I'd like to strike you for fifty dollars to-day," said Hard up to Y'oung Hyson Saturday afternoon. "By Jove," said Y'oung Hyson, who was a little short himself, "you may do it for $20. Give me the money and say where you want to strike me." Hardup struck out. Brooklyn Eagle.- "Oh never borrow troublo, My friend, wher'er you go, For life is but a bubble And it ain't worthwhile, you know. "Ah. well, I'll let to-morrow Take care of itself, I vow, And the only thing I'll borrow" Is a dollar from you, now." Boston Budget. The Largest Apple Trees. The largest apple tree supposed to b standing in the United States may be seen in the dooryard of Delos llotch kiss, Cheshire, Conu. Its shape is sym metrical, the trunk being round and without a scar or blemish upon it. There are eight large branches, live of which bear one year and tho other three the next year. Mr. Hotchkiss has gathered in one year from the live branches eighty-five bushels of fruit, but his predeces sor harvested a crop of 110 bushels from the same live branches. The circumfer ence one foot from tho ground and above all enlargement of the roots is thirteen feet and eight inches. The girth of the largest siugle limb is six feet eight inches. The top limbs reach a height of sixty feet, and tho spread of the limbs is 100 feet. Tho r.go of the tree can be traced by family tradition to 110 years at least. New England Farmer. Plants Urowing in Money. A number of persons have tried to find money iu plants, and failed. On the other hand a Hungarian scientist tried to find plants in money and suc ceeded. The money was in tho form ol bauk notes, even those which hud been in circulation but a short time. To b sure, the plants are so very small that a powerful microscope is required to see them. Nevertheless, they are as much plants as is a pumpkin vine, or an oaK tree. What is lacking initio sizcofl plants, is made up in that, of their uarue- One of them is Saccharomvcs cerevisie, another I'leurococnus moricturum, and so on. These little placts with sucb hard names, can grow and multiply i tho substance of a brink, biil, nud th matters that adhere lo it, without it owner being any the i?er lor U. Amerce icnn Agriculturist. S V X
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers