r S FOREST REPUBLICAN Ia pubuaaed every We Ine.dayi by J. E. WENK. 5 in Smearbjgh i Co.'n Building RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Square, one Inch, one Inaert.lon II One Square, one Inch, one month B M One Square, one int h, taree month One Square, on ) Inch, one year "' Two Squares, one year 18 0,1 Quarter C olumn, one year ' 00 Half Column, one year 60 " One Column, joneyoar 100 00 Legal notlcee at entbllphcd rate. Marriage and death nntlcci gratia. All bill, for yearly dvertiwmrnta collected aiiav-tc-ny. Temporary advcnlecmunta nwet be paid l advance. Job work cub on delivery. do KLM STl'jCSr, rtOXBSTA, I'A. 4 ms, ft I. BO per Year, o nbecrtntlnn received for a ehnrter peril three montln. i rrPon.lence solicited from all parte of the "'" No notice rUI be laaon of anonymous "ieaUona, V0L.I7II. NO. 25. TIONESTA, PA,, WEDNESDAY, OCT 8, 1884, $1.50 PER ANNUM. fulfil $t0 'TEVEU GROW OLD. " t Jl-tJe mirror, marks of caro, I. and the wrinkle, y in the dork-brown hair, ii over my Bhoulder, Jful waa alio, never grow old, rry lore," the ,iw old to mo. ia the chilling of heart, itw, ns mino can toll, nig and" warm an when first we heard und of our bridal belli" 1 aud kissed her ripe red lips, ' t time do its worst on me, 1 my soul, my love, my faith, :;8ver Boem old to thee I" ' s Charles Mackay. '"1LKNT PARTNERS. i ever speak to mo again," ton, "iind I never will speak Ids hour on." something positively alarm- united command and promise, .ucs in which it was uttered were ivoly earnest, and tho manner of pcaker was very fur from trifling; they foil upon the startled cars of orse half in a way that caused Mr. n to quuil a little, for ho knew u of the temperament of the an woman who spoke to feel that this idle threat. s Iientou and his wife Mary had :n ied a quarter of a century at of this violent outbreak, and i to been active and talkative d partners. Thev lived in the ou their own little farm, and y had not always held the He harmony of opinion, their to each other and their unity ' 'Q essential matters of life were 3. It was only in tho infinites-j'-cts of life that they clashed. together, met and surmounted liatucles in their common path, 7 removed rocks only to stumble !!)lc. 'My the contemptible little riv 1 1 been constantly trickling y years in so many different ' mingly met to form a great rich they were doomed to be 1 up. Those hitherto active hiblo tongues were about to rust .'esa, at leust at home. They wero d to bocome henceforth silent n Benton accepted the situation it replying, for what was there to d! Had ho not been commanded rain forever from speaking to his i.intry forbids us to cast any great ' f tho odium of this sceno upon Benton, Besides, had not John, fore tho lust volcanic eruption of . upon the part of his wife, insin that.her "unruly member was as t a fence rail?" Could female flesh i'lood enduro such a huso simile us when applied to herself? Aud had ,ut asserted that her words were m, and that her tones wero thunder? .Id a wife pass over such insulting jiial metaphors as these? Mrs. Ben , either wisely or unwisely, decided he negative. Iho first night of tho self-enforced nco in the lienton cottage was awk d. Tho usual curtain lecture was Ued, and such a death-like, des e stillness prevailed that sleep - out of the question. The row brought its tribulations, fol ing one another in close aud annoy succession. Mrs. lienton, finding situation too irksome to be borne out some new excitement to replace :t art of speech, determined upon a .tion of tho whole household the i safety valve for the pent-up feel--f a housewife, and one of the best i remedies for the disease of hypo xia or anger. She went about this dean task as though life and death .g in the buluuce, or as though upon completion depended the casting out '.-he dumb devils . that had taken up 'u-ir abode here. 1 . Many ludicrous blunders were the inev itable consequence of this abandonment oftho customury mode of conveying 'iioughts; tho double orders given to the groceryman and the butcher, tho duplicate purchases of all sorts of odds and ends, led to much confusion and vexation in the lienton household. One morning John Benton thought he detected unusual preparations going on in the culinary department, a grand overhauling aud dusting of the best china Bet, and sundry other indications of somo unusual event. Mrs. Benton iriedinher dumb-show mauner to re 'rchh his memory in regard to an ex erted visit of which ho had been pre- i.msly made aware, but which had lipped from his somewhat defective leiuory. But she could not tell whether r not she had succeeded in her clforts :,o enlighten him. About noon John I'ame in, as usual, to dinner, to rind a roomful of city visitors, friends of Mrs. lienton. Now. John, although not a vain man, would rather have hud some notification of that event, so that he need not have appeared in their presence iu his working gurmeuts; but as there was now no help for it, ho tried to make tho best of the situation, and greeted tho visitors in rather an awkward fashion. I'lio latter, no doubt, attributed Mrs. enton's silence toward her husband to 'i titicution ut his personal appearance, t, after uil, this ulTuir passed without exposure so much dreaded by both 1 it 8. "hu Bentou had promised his wife, vious to the unhappy occurrence that ! placed this gulf of sileuce between ii. money to purchase a new dress for t If. One day ho laid a roll of bills i the table, and called her attention She nodded assent, and John was J satisfied thnt her memory was good for anything that related to her personal adornment. But what was his surprise and disgust when she returned from town and gave him tho grocer's receipted billl One morning, upon John's return from the city, he astonished his wife by bring ing with him a lad, whom he ushered into the kitchen with tho remark: "Now, Teddy, this is your home, and that is your mistress, Mrs. Benton, and whatover she requires of you, you are to do, of course." John Benton, in tho utter loneliness of his heart, and fearing lest his unused tongue should become paralyzed by this prolonged inactivity, or that he should lose his voice for want of practice, had, like Robinson Crusoe, brought home a littlo man Friday to talk to, and nlso to use ns a mouthpiece for himself and wife. Things now went on with less blundering and uncertainty, for Teddy was made tho medium for conveying the thoughts or wishes alternately from one to the other. But John monopolized so much of the boy's companionship in his new-found delight at giving vent to speech, that Mrs. Benton still led a rather lonely life. 'But," though she, "what is sauce for tho goose ought to be sauce for the gan der, and I will have a girl Friday before the week is out, in order to strengthen and improve my vocal powers." And so sho did. Never was there a more astonished man than was John Bon ton on the evening that he came chatter ing with Teddy into the kitchen and stopped upon the threshold to listen to the irrepressible flood of female conver sation that was being poured forth within. Indeed, so intent was Mrs. Ben ton on unburdening her long-pent-up feelings that she did not notice the trans fixed ligure of her husband standing there till her startled car caught the re mark : "Well, Teddy,-this Is a surprise party, isn't it?" "Those, Maggie," said Mrs. Benton, "are tho other half of this family." The Benton household was no longer at "sixes and sevens" for want of inter preters between the two heads, but it was a prolonged Quaker meeting as far as mingling of the sexes was concerned. Each, of the heads of the house now had a victim upon which he or she could in flict unending volubility. It was about this time that John com municated to his wife the mistake in re gard to the dress money, and refunded to her the amount. She in turn, through her mouth-piece, intimated to him that his company and services in driving the family horse would be acceptable to take her to the city to purchase her gown.' To this he readily assented, as he also had business in the city. They had agreed upon a plan of communication be fore leaving home, through a small slate such as dumb people use among those who do not understand their language. On arriving at the gorgeous store they manifested an awkward uneasiness, and paused a few miuutes before entering. This mute business in public was evident ly not relished by either of the parties. But finally they entered. Mrs. Benton was greeted by a polite salesman. She made known her wishes, and soon a great muss of various fabrics of all colors was spread out for her inspection. She asked the price of a piece of a particular shade that she fancied, she priced another piece of difTereut color, aud during all this time sho was vaiuly trying in some indi rect way to get an expression of opinion from her husband as to his preference. But she ignominiously failed. Her face grew hot aud excited. She was not ou Bpeaking terms with her husband, and yet she loved him well enough to refuso to purchase or wear a dress the color of which he might not approve. She shrank from the humiliation of the slate, but finding there was no alternative but a violution of her vow, she produced it, and asked him the simple question upon which her heart was set. For answer he simply put his hand on the piece of her choice, and she smiled pleasantly as she turned to the spruce and accommodating salesman. The lat ter, taking in the asituution at a glance with the keen eye of an expert in humanity, and supposing it was of course a question of dollars and cents she was propounding to her unfortunate deaf and dumb husband, rapidly wrote upon a bit of paper: "Splendid goods; wear like iron; never fade; very cheap; fifty per cent, below cost price; never get another chance like it," which paper he placed iu tho hands of the astonished Mr, John Benton. "What's this?" he exclaimed, looking alternately from the clerk to his wife. '"Pears to me you're in a hurry with your bill, young man." Never was there a moro astounded salesman behind a couuter than this. And his chagrin equaled his surprise. With a confused apology, which seemed to include something about "deaf mute." he tried to make amends by renewed courtesies and attentions to Mrs. Benton, who was plunged in misery. It is hard to conceive of a woman so wretched w ho hud just come into possession of a new aud haudsoine outfit. John Benton's special business in town was to puy un insurance premium, aud he and his wife culled together at the palatini ofliciul oflico of the company. Whilo waiting their turn to be accom modated, Johu and his wife stood near tho door. As he was lookiug over a city directory to pass away the time, his wife, being seized with a uew idea, wrote it out, and handed him tho fatal slate. John, for convenience in reading tho sentence on the slate, put the direc tory under his arm, w hereupon, just at this moment, the pompous secretary of tho insurance oflice euuie in from the street, and taking iu the situation with the keenness of sight uud astuteness that characterizes the discerning city muu, from a dry -goods sulesman up to a high official of un insurance company, he touched the fated John upon If . -vrm, and pointed to a card upon the wall on which the legend ran thus, "No beggers, peddlers or book agents allowed to pur sue their avocations hero." It was some time before John or his wife could comprehend tho connecting link between themselves and that card: but when, with the mild assistance of tho ollicial dignitary, it dawned upon them that John was taken for a book agent, Mrs. Benton turned purple with rage, and in explaining their business there did not spare the feelings of the wretch who had given another sting to her wounded pride. But John was disposed to laugh it off, and still further add to the con fusion of thoso present by transacting his business in good audible iglish. It remains to this day a mystery to I lie unfortunate drygoods clerk as well ns to the non plussed secretary what could in duce a couple to converse together on a slate who could use such forcible and in telligible language to others. After their unfortunate experience in the city tho unhappy pair began to weaken a little in their resolution. Not only were their mutual interests suffering in various ways by reason of this very imperfect means of communication, but as their love for one another was so strong and genuine, in spite of the fool ish embargo they had put upon their speech, they chafed under the irksome restraint of a protracted silence. Whilo they were both revolving in their minds plans that might lead to a way out of tho difficulty, fate came to their rescue, and saved them from themselves, though in an unexpected and painful way. Upon tho anniversary of their silence John Benton and Teddy were busy in the hay field, and as a storm was threat ening, Mrs. Benton and .Maggie came to the rescue with their rakes. A large load was on the wagon, and Mrs. Benton and Maggie volunteered to arrange the hay upon the cart as John threw it up' to them. John had jtibt started to lead tho horses to another part of the field, when, on looking up at the load, he saw his wife still standing. He motioned to her to sit down, but she failed to notice his signal, and the horses started; at the same time John saw her lunge backward and slide, head-foremost, from the load. Before he could stop the team aud get to her she had struck tho ground upon her head. With a faint gasp, and with a semi-conscious but dazed cry, she said: "Don't you ever speak " "HushP'said the scared man; "for God's sake, Mary, don't talk that way now 1" In another moment she lay unconscious in his trembling arms, palo and still as death. "Ohl" exclaimed the unhappy man, "if I had only screamed to her to sit down instead of trusting to that con founded pantomime, perhaps it would not have happened." Taking her up tenderly in his strong arms, he carried her to the house, and all the way into her now deaf ears ho poured out his love and lamentations; his tongue was loosened, and seemed to be trying to make up for lost time. And as he bathed her head, and chafed her hands, and tried to kiss back her color and to coax into action that long-silent voice, he moaned: "What would Inotgivenow to hear her talk to me again 1 It would be bliss to hear her scold even. Perhaps perhaps," and he shuddered as he said it, "she may never speak again." Tho new-mown hay threatened by the coming storm was nothing to him now. He neither knew nor cared whether the sky was black or blue. All was black about him, and there was only one object that he could see. Even Teddy, who had shared his confidence, aud Maggie, who had been the solace of his poor wife during the dull, blank year thut had just closed in such a tragical manner, were obnoxious to him by their very presence. He saw in them only the go-betweens tha: served to keep up this odious silence. "If I had not brought Teddy here, per haps we should have spoken long ago," he muttered ; ' 'for it was getting to be pretty hard to keep still any longer about that time." He was just thinking seriously about sending for a doctor, when he felt a pres sure upon the hand thut had ull this time clasped one of his wife's, and looking into her face, he saw with delight that her eyes were wide open and bent upon him. " My dear Mary 1 thank God 1" he said, as he bent down uud kissed her pale face while the tears dropped from his cheeks upon hers, " Speak to me, Mary." She gazed around her upon the scene of masculine havoc for a few moments; the wet cloths, the blankets, the cumuhor and arnica bottles, the flooded floor," and then at the face of the man beside her. In the latter she saw only intense misery and unfeigned contrition, but she could not resist tho impulse, in spite of the ac cident, in spite of the surroundings, in spite of John's sufferings of mind, totest him still farther. She slowly raitx-d her limp hands. and with the forefinger of the right she began to trace upon the juilm of the left, ut the same tifne directing a questioning look of her husband. "Good heavens I" thought he, "can it be possi ble that she has been paralyzed by her full, uud is now truly uud iu earnest dumb?" But a glance at her face dis pelled that horrible thought, (She was smiling, but she still continued to 'rite with her finger, pimple, honest John Benton caught her meaning then, and exclaimed, ulmost petulrnily, "The slate, Mary? t'onfouud tho slate I No more deaf and dumb language for me. One word from you now is worth mere to me than a year's chatter of these young ones; beside, it will do you goou, my uear." "John I really believe you are speak ing to me," said his wife, while tears of joy came to her eyes. Johu iientou bent close to her face, and kissing her again aud ugaiu, said, "Yea. Marv, I am going to keep it up, too, from t ;s time on, for " And here he put his lips to her ear, und whis pered a few words that, in spite of her tears and pain, made her laucrb. outrichfc. ! He had whispered, "No beggers, ped- j uiers or uuuk. nems ouoweu in ine lien ton Cottage uerearter." J. A. Boyden, in the Bazar. 1 Tea Drinking in Holland. Bernard H. Becker, iu his book "Hol iday Haunts by ClilTide and River side," says, in describing a tea garden at Seheveningen, a Dutch pleasure re sort : Here we refreshed ourselves with mighty glasses of Bairisch and speculated on the intense love of tea with which Dutch women are possessed. Tea in Hol luud is, like almost everything but water, of excellent quality, and is not converted into a beverage by tho pro prietors of tea-gardens. Everybody makes her own tea at the Hague and Amsterdam, and even at Seheveningen. When Mynheer and his family have taken their seats at one of tho green tables closely -packed under the trees round the orchestra, madame proceeds to make tea in the national machine known as "theestofl." This is very unlike the English urn and tea pot, and equally dissimilar from the Russian samovar. The careful waiter brings first what appears to be an iron "pail, but is in reality a stove of primitive construction, bottomed well with charcoal. On this is set the kettle of common life, boiling and kept boil ing by the charcoal underneath. Tea is brought in a caddy together with a black earthenware teapot. Madam pro ceeds to make tea, first ascertaining that the water boils, and when the first round is poured out, removes tho lid of the kettle and puts the little black teapot in its place. There is clearly an under standing between the coppersmith und the potter as to the size of teapots and kettle lids, for the fit seems exact, and the tea is kept hot, as it needs to be in the open air. Thus, after the manner of the nursery rhyme, the fire begins to boil the Kettle, the kettle begins to warm the pot, the pot begins to make the tea, and the tea, presumably, begins to warm its drinkers, for they seem happy enough in quiet, self-contained way. They are not listless, these Dutch drinkers of tea (shade of Van Dunck), but they cannot be pronounced festive. Evidently they are contented folk, well off in the world's goods, and careful of them. There are no peals of laughter, no flashing gestures, no demonstrative ness of any kind, and yet these Dutch folk are not sad. They are "gentle, yet not dull," happy, yet not boisterous perhaps nicely modulated cheerfulness is the best term by which to indicate their mental condition. Chatting quietly they advance to more and more cups of tea, made fresh aud fresh by the lady pre siding, far too good a housewife to have lavished her store of tea on the first brewing. She appeals to the caddy and the ever-boiling kettle, and brews inter minable tea of excellent strength and flavor. The old leaves are now kept stewing till they crow bitter, but are thrown away to make room for a fresh supply. Sam Randall's Borrowed Socks. "Do you see that pair of stockings?" said W. W. Ker, lute assistant to the United States attorney-general, drawing from his coat pocket a pair of gentlemen's, white English hose. '-There's a history connected with them. During the meet ing of the Democratic convention at Chicago, Sam ltuudall arrived.hot, dusty and tired. We wanted him to hurry up and appear before a committee meeting of delegates, but his baggage had not arrived aud so we took him in charge determined that he should not lose any chance of getting the nomination on ac count of the dereliction of the baggage men. I gave him my room in the hotel, and he went and took a bath. Then we began to collect some articles of linen for him. I contributed a pair of stockings, ex-Mayor Vaux contributed a 6hirt and collar and other articles. Kandall wears tho old-fashioned shirts which button up before and which have no studs in them. Vaux's shirt wus of the modem style, except that it had a high old-fashioned collar attached. When he got it on you ought to have seen him. The collar came way up to his cars and almost buiied the lower part of his face. We got a black stock and fastened it around the collar, and wo got somo studs and put in the shirt front and sent him to the meeting in tino style. I forgot ail about the alTuir uutil to-day, when Mrs. Handall sent me the stockings nicely done up. Nobody shall ever wear those stockings. I'm going to keep them until Sam Ban dull is inaugurated President." Phila de'phia iVeiui. Weaving Rabbits Wool. Yesterday I drove to St. Innocents to see the Angora rabbits, whose fur fur nishes a soft and spiunable wool, out of which the peasunts make a quantity of warm garments. It wus curious to see the peusunt girl tuke the rubbit fur in her fingers, und then addina it to her thread, go ou spinning the coarse yarn out of it on a I6ng spinning wheel. Wo then went iu to see the rabbits; pretty creatures, with large opal eyes and very leng fur, exceedingly soft. They ure "plucked" ulive, und tho process is said not to hurt theui. Indeed, they ure so fluffy thut perhaps it is a relief. Somo were black, others white, aud others gray. I noticed no other colors. This fur is not only spun, but is crocheted und knitted into a coarse canvus. The finished goods ure very expensive, und I diil not think them equal to woolen articles of corresponding grades. They are curious, and all visitors to Aix feel bound to carry away some little specimen or other of this rather anomalous rabbit work. Button Traiwl. Virginia will contribute 1,100,000 bushels of peanuts to human happi ness this J ear. NEWS AND NOTES FOB WOMEN. Tho big bonnet dies hard. There is a tendency toward smaller bustles. Ribbons, belts and sashes are im mensely popular. Of the 471 laundries doing business in Chicago, 180 are owned by Chinese. White serge waistcoats are worn with dark woolen dresses, pique with sateen. A grandmother at the age of thirty is a more familiar sight in China than an old maid. A twelve-year-old girl has opened a shooting gallery in Nevada. She is an expert shot. Six hundred and ninety women voted at a recent election in Seattle, Washing ton Territory. A becoming finish is imparted to a shirred, white mull bonnet by facing with black velvet. Fashionable materials for mourning are Henrietta cloth, camel's hair and al butross cloth. The fashion of wearing real fruit in stead of artificial, or of natural flowers has increased. A peculiar costume seen recently was of white flannel, with small owl winga stuck all over it. Handkerchiefs with bright colored border or embroidery are tucked in the belt or button-hole. The woman market is down now in Tunis, Africa. Wives only bring from $20 to $120 a head. Twelve cups of coffee every day is the elixir which keeps a Virginia lady ninety nine years old happy and healthy. The Weslcyau Female college, of Georgia, created in 1838, was the first college for women in this country. A large blue rough-and-ready straw hat has poppy red crape bunched around the crown, with a number of wings in front, of the same color. Hungarian women seem to have seized upon their "rights" without disturbance or controversy. They go to all public meetings where men go. Copper red is a favorite color for the crepe de chine and silk Jersey waists that are worn with skirts of white wool or of black lace over satin. A favorite way of sewing on lace thii year is gathering the lace, then sewing it on the wrong side, turning and catching it down at intervals, making a puff. The empress of Austria, while at Hei delberg recently, lived at the most ex pensive hotel with a suite of seventj persons, including four fencing masters. A morning dress of biscuit-colored twill is covered all over with square cubes of cut and uncut velvet, the coloi enhanced bylooped bows in a peculiai tone. Upou a small "capote" bonnet is t large tuft of full-blown poppies made ol velvet aud intermingled with ears ol barley and ferns, tied together wit! grass. Poplin is again in favor, Worth having brought out many handsome costumes ol this fabric, which is now seen in t lighter and more drapable form thai formerly. Embroidered bretelles, or, prettier still, those made of lace and net, wide on th Bhoulders and tapering to a point at th belt, front and back over the bodice, art again in vogue. The future queen of the Nethorlandi will be the richest woman in Europe, be ing heiress to the $4,000,000 of her lut brother und tho vast private possession! of her father, the present king. Addison, who wrote a good deal about female fashions in the spectator, verj much ridiculed the hoop-petticoat, which was so large, ubout the year 1774, thut a women wearing one occupied the space of six men. On the subject of winning a husband, a woman writes: "Men love to be big and great to their -wives. That's the reason why a helpless littlo woman jL'au marry three times to a sensible, self-reliant woman's none." The bitterest words that were evei written' about women wero by a women Lady-June Montague. She wrote: " have one consolation iu being a women that is, I can never be unfortunate enough to have to marry one." Anne Boleyn wus remarkably dainty about her gloves. She hud a nuil which turned up ut the sides, aud it wus the de light of Queen Catharine to inako her play at cards without her gloves, in or der that the deformity might disgust King Henry VIII. A lovely laco and surah costumo is of pale blue surah, with a plaiting at the foot, above this two Breton laco flounces aud a pretty Breton net drapery, edged with the lace, bustue pointed back aud front, covered with tho net, the draoery fastened with loops aud ends of pale blue satin ribbon. It is said to be satisfactorily demon- I stuted thut every time a wife scolds her j husbund she adds a wriukle to her face. I It is thought the announcement of this fact will have the most saluturv effect, especially as it is understood thut every ; time u wife smiles ou her husband it will j remove one of the old wrinkles. I There are a number of women painters iu Madison Parish, Louisiana. Mrs. M. ' A. Uibbs lives on the Hecla plantation, which she manages with great success, i Miss Eu Lucas manages a large estate, und personally superintends a large ' force. Sho spends most of her time iu the kuddlc, uud looks ufter her hoes, , plows, hoes, drains, levees, stock uud ( mill. Madame Ames owns a tract of 1,000 noes, uud has 800 acres under j cultivation thii year. Id is better not to know so much than to know so many things that aiVt so. Josh Billinit. . A STOLEN KIS3. HIS EXCUSE. As I bade her good night, Could I help just one stealing! The moon's mellow light, As I bade her good-night, On her face shone so bright, Those red lips revealing As 1 bade her good-night Could I help just one stealing! HER IDEA, To take only one And thon say "Good-night I" (How quickly 'twas donat) To take only one I Next time he'll get nonoj For I don't like it quite, To take only one And then say "Good-nightf HUMOR OF THE DAT. The Louisville Cmrier-Joumal says the . reason the man in the moon is economi cal is because "everything up there ia so high." "Blowing a bass horn," says a physi cian, "will cure consumption." Another case in which the remedy is worse than the disease. PhUadSphia Call. An exchange wants to know what the paragraphists will do when ice cream ia gone. They will probably do the same as other people do without. KarrU town Herald. Generally the party who sings "I would not live always" the loudest la the one who gets between the feather beds during the thunderstorm. IHUl hury Chronicle. Lord Houghton wonders why the moon looks pale and sad. If his lordship were full once a month and reduced to his last quarter regularly ho would soon cease to wonder. Graphic. A little Austin boy saw his mother take off her switch one day, and called out: "Oh, mammal Let us take your scalp out in the yard, so thut we can play ' Indians." Sitings. "Siain is the place where there are neither Jews nor swine," said a person to a Rothschild once. "Indeed," was the reply. "Let us go and exhibit ourselves there." Jewish Messenger. Life is like a harness. There are traces of care, lines of trouble, bits ol good fortune, breeches of good manners, bridled tongues, and everybody has a tug to pull through. Worcester Ga zette. "So you call that well waterJ" re marked tho stranger, spurting the of fending liquid from his mouth. "Great Scott I how must it have tasted when it was ill?" Boston Tran script. DON'T KNOW BEANS. " Oh, maiden sweet, with delicate feet, Tripping the fair fields over, What do you ssek by gurgling creek Ami amid the dewy clovorf" "Why, Mister, she said, "you don't know beans I I'm gathering yaller dock for greens.'' "Her hands are a poem," sings young man who is in love all but hii ears. Wait till he gets married, and if he doesn't long for a pair of prose fists to beat up the beds, wash dishes and sew on buttons, write us down as a false prophet and base deceiver. Burlington Free l'res. AN EYE TO BUSINESS. My courage strengthened as I gazed; The words came rushing t my lips, The old, old tale of love was told, Bhe glanced down ut her tingui- tips. And then she spoke in accents low, Whilo blushes red sullused her cheek, " It may be wrung for me to ask, , But how much uo you get a week?" Host on Star. ' 'Is this seat engaged ?" asked a small, thin woman of a fat man iu tho New Haven train tho other day. No reply. "Will you please take your feet down and let me sit on this seat?" she re peated in a louder tone of voice. Again no reply. "I read to-day," she contin ued still louder, "that a Chicago man has cornered all the pork iu tho world. How did you manage to escape?" At tho next station sho had the whole seat to herself. Xeu York Graphic. The ScaH rrepureil Above. At one time iu the history of the Con federacy, the refugees became so numer ous in the towns und villages remoto from the path of armies, that the good citizens of the safe und pleasaut places, were seriously unnoyed. Tho invaders were iu their most sacred places, like the plague iu Egypt, entered into their houses, uud even their churches were if tested. A worthy congregation of a Virginia town had complained that their pews were occupied by refugees, often to tho exclusion of their own families, and their pastor was requested to give notice from the pulpit that all refugees could be accommodated iu the gallery. Accordingly, on one bright Sunday morning the church as usuul had its full complement of obnoxious visitors, when at the proper time the reverend geutle mau arose and gave the notice as re quested. Tho refugees, though already seated and disposed to mind tiicir pr&yers.aroso ut once, some with heightened color and tossing heads, und went into the gallery. After the disturbance! cuuscd by the move was over, the pastor gave out the hymn, which ho had unreflectingly selected. It was " Huste, my wul, Oh, haste away, i To btuta prepared ubove." A titter went around the gallery, aud the congregation seemed much unnoyed; even the mini iter, before ho finished his verse, saw how unfortunate his selection was, a ul ull seemed to feel how ridicu lous it made them appear. .Southern Bivouac.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers