THE FOREST REPUBLICAN Ii publlnh.d triry WfclOMaar, ky J. E. WENK. Offloe in Smearbaugh & Co.'a Building SLM 8TRKBT, TIONBSTA, FA. RATES OF ADVERTISING. On. Sqoar., on. Inch, on. lnMrtlon C M On. 8qnar, on. Inch, on. month I W On. Square, one Inch, thr.. month. ( 0 On. Pqoare, on. rich, on. fat 10 m Two Sqnarea, en. JJ 1 Quarter Column, on. J.ar H Half Column, en. jr h One Column Jon. J J 4 . legal nances at aatabHihad rataa. Marriaf. and daath notlc. gruUt. All Ml. for yo.rlT ad-wtinMndnU ceUctd .iaf. Irrij. T.mporarjr adrertiaemtnt. tumt paid tm adranca. Job work eaah en 4.11t.tt. Term, I. DO par Yr, Ho aubacrtptlons rMlrd for short.r pri tlin lhr month.. CorrMpond.no. ollrtttd from all Biirti of tb. eounu-j. No notlct will b. liktn af an.nraaa communlomtion. TOL.IVII. NO. 14. TIONESTA. PA., WEDNESDAY. JDLY 23, 1884. $1.50 PER ANNUM. NOT TO-DAY. Not to-day tlie golden fruition Of the hopes that beckon on, For the joy of attained ambition Flashed not from tho eyes of dawn. Not to-dny the vessel riding In the port of Ilnppy Isles, Whore rapture Is ever abiding And Illusion no mora beguiles. Not to-dny tho bloom of the lotus To gladden seasick eyes, And a glory liko that of Canopus On the evening's tropic skies. All of these for evasive to-morrow, But to-day desire's unrest, The toil of endeavor and sorrow For the slow, uncertain quest. Mary L. Goodrich. ROM OVER THE SEA. "Sandwich IslnndKl" Tho words, uttered in a chorus of high, childish treble, rung out clearly through tho open transom above the stout, cak gralned door. 'Am I to hear nothing but tlib Sand wich Islands this morning 1" she exclaimed half aloud, her impatience breaking through the guarded reserve she usually 'aaintained even with herself. "That is the third time tho hateful placo has been tarust upon me since I awoke,. and to-day, too, of all tho days of tho year." AVhatcver fault was to be found with tho day must have lain entirely in Miss Martha's own mind, for certainly its out ward seeming was as perfect as could well lo expected in n world wo are ac customed to find so full ot imperfection, and this she was forced to confess to her self os she sank into a fortuitous chair bo fore the great hall window. The sun shone with brilliant but tempered ray, and tho cool, fresh wind that blew in her face made full confession of sweet dalliance among tho lilacs. Immediately be neath tho window lay the well-ordered garden, its white, curving walks out lined with rauks of gorgeous tulips; beyond, the straight village street, wide, unpavcl and lined with elms in their first splendor of tender green, opened a vista , of furrowed field and purple hills, inter sected by the lustrous gray band of the full-banked river, that was well calcu lated to call up thoso vague, nameless emotions mado up of heartache and hope, of regretful memories and longing antici pation, to which the sensitive spirit is so subject in the spring. For Miss Martha the heartache and the regretful memories were in tho ascend ant; for it was her thirty-ninth anniver sary, and at at thirty-niue hope and an ticipation aro no longer very vivid. 1 hesc regretful memories of course, in cluded, and indeed centered upon, a masculine tigure; a lithe, slender figure, & palo student-like face, with earnest, dark eyes that always seem to demand something of her. As she glanced down tho elm-lined street this May morning, tho apparition of a slim, dark-coated figure, surmounted by a straw hat, almost brought back the girlish flutter at her heart which some thing such an apparition had aroused there twenty years ago. But, no; how many years was it now that she had been accustomed to dwell upon that air-drawn picture mado up of sparkling sea and gleaming sand, a group of feathery palms in the foreground, in the distance three mountain peaks, calmly exhaling 'clouds of gray smoke upon tho still air; to see standing beneath the palms, sur rounded by a group of half-clad, yellow skinned natives, the lithe, slim figure, the earnest eyes, lit by a lire like that which shone in the faces of the first apostles? How many years? Sho could hardly tell; for at that time something in Miss Martha's heart had seemed to run down, us the striking portion of n clock's appa ratus sometimes does, while the rest of the machinery ticks uninterruptedly on. "Thirty-nine, thirty -nine," her mu sings ran. '"My life more thait half .pent, and yet I have not lived." Then she hid her face in her hands, and a gust of teat less Subs shook her, like one of those sudden little dashes of wind that sometimes swoop down upon the late September roses. Poor Miss Martha! And yet her friends would have thought strange to hear her say she hud not lived. Outwardly few women appeared to live more intensely or more actively. The little episode between her and the young professor of mathematics who had inducted her into the mysteries of .algebra and geometry in the same school, had been so skillfully managed by her parencs that few outside of her immediate family had known anything of it; and her sud den resolution to leave home and accept the position c f primary teacher in the school in whicS she had been educated, in reality an act of indignant though useless rebellion ngain-t their treachery, was regarded as a mere eccentric whim, which her aristocratic family permitted her to indulge. Later, when tho war had swept away the family fortune and tho two sons who might have rein stated it. the eccentricity assumed the guiso of a providential leading. For the school in the sheltered Ohio alley went on undisturbed, and it was to Miss Mar tha that the frightened and helpless mother and sisters had lied when the an cestral home on tho James was laid in ashes. Mother and father were dead now, and the two sisters married, but Miss Martha still went on in tho old school, rising grade by grade, until now she reigned augustly as principal. It was perhaps a sudden sense of the narrowness of the bounds that hedged " her in, us contrasted with the wide ocean and the long years that intervened be tween herself a'ud this central figure and event of her life, which had called forth the exclutnatiou recorded ubove. She, resolved to remember, had chosen to re main where everything should remind her of him; he, as if equally resolved to forget, had fled away across the ocean, that wide, wide ocean, whoso multitud inous waves seemed adequate for the washing out of any resemblence, however deeply stamped. No matter how carefully or wisely we order our lives, it is probable there will still bo moments when tho things we might have had will seem of far more valuo than those we have; but it was something new for the busy principal of tho Seminary to sit idly before a window of a morning, indulging in melancholy reverie. On one's birthday, however, some indulgence may bo al lowed, and Miss Martha, screened from observation by a huge, easel-mounted black board, did not stir until the sound of a large bell swung by a willing hand, and the simultaneous opening of many doors, announced that 12 o'clock and re cess had arrivod. Peeping past the blackboard, she saw the class of little short-skirted geograph ers filo decorously out of their recitation room, each turning at tho door to courte sy after the old-fashioned manner tradi tional in the school, and which Miss Martha insisted should be punctiliously observed, then bounding away with many an impromptu twirl and pirouette. "Dear little hearts," murmured Miss Martha, rising and taking up again tho book and pencil she had dropped, "for them the Sandwich Islands do not exist." Miss Martha stood upon the platform before the assembled school sweet Miss Martha, adored by every girlish heart in tho room. Tall and slender vas Bhe, clad in a soft gray gown of some spring-liko fabric, tho full bandeaus of waving au burn hair parting in an enchanting double curve over her smooth, white forehead, starry hazel eyes, with long, ray-like lashes, a dainty, clear-cut, oval face, red, mobile mouth, and a faint sea-shell tint in the cheeks; not at all liko the ideal schoolma'am. "I have a note here," she said in that clear, vibrant voice that never could be tamed to tho conventional monotone, "in viting Vou all to the sociable at the Meth odist church to-night. Mr. Howell in forms me that an old classmate of his will bo present, and will probably bo in duced to tell the company something of the mission schools in the Sandwich Is land:!." Miss Martha, looking at tho note as if not quite sure, hesitated a lit tle before pronouncing tho last word, then tore the sheet of paper to atoms. "You may find it interesting to go," she added, with a nod to her assistant to imli ate that she had finished. The assistant struck the bell, and the room was filled with tho rustic of a well ordered rising. Another stroke, and tho girls began to move slowly in single file toward the door, while Miss Martha, seated in her armchair, gravely received their parting salutations. At tho gate a gentleman, who seemed about to enter, stepped aside, and, lean ing an arm upon the fence, watched with a benevolent sniilo the outgoing tido of youthful loveliness. The gentleman, the girls decide, was of very striking appearance, by reason of the gray hair that framed a face still youthful in contour and coloring, and, from his clerical coat and tie, they at once deduced the Sand wich Island missionary of tho evening. They passed on in groups and pairs, jost ling each other and exchanging whis pered comments, accompanied by many covert backwar J glances. 'Waiting until the last pair was well clear of tho gate, the stranger carried out his original in tention of entering. Miss Martha, still seated in her arm chair, her face turned toward the door, and the fragments of the note held loosely in her hand, heard tho blow step upon the cemented wulk, but supposing it to be that of Washington, the colored jani tor, she did not stir. "Miss Dabueyt" She looked up. "Oh!" sho exclaimed, rising with a startled look, while the bits of paper fluttered unheeded to the door. "Why it is a Mr. Heidi" "Yes," he said, drawing a step nearer, but still hesitating, as if not quite certain of his welcome. Hut by this time sho had recovered her self, and was once more the self possessed person she usually appeared. btepping down from her platform sho advanced to meet him with outstretched hand, and a manner that struck just tho proper bal auce between pleasure at meeting a long-al-sent friend and tho reserve naturally incident to long separation. "I a:a very glad to see you. I didn't know you were in town. When did you arrive?" "This morning. I only meant to stop over one train, but Howell caught mo and" "Whether courage or inclination failed he broke off, leaving the conjunction to hang like a broken link upon the end of his unfinished speech. "lie wouldn't let you go, of course," said Miss Martha with ready tact, "lie wrote me a note this morning, inviting the school to hear you speak to-night, but he neglected to mention your name, lie is exceedingly absent-minded." "You are very little changed," he said, abruptly. "I should have known you anywhere. It seems strange that we should stand together again in this room." "It does, indeed, especially when we think how widely separated we have been for so many years. "Has the distauce seemed great? Have the years seemed long?" "Won't you sit down?" sue asked turn ing with suddeuly awakened hospi tality toward a group of chairs. ''It is pleusanter here than in tho parlor. 1 hate the parlor. It is always haunted by the echo of patronizing voices ex plaining tho peculiar sensitiveness of Mary Ann and the wonderful aptitude of Maria Jane." She threw back her heafl with that bright little laugh that had al ways been hers. "It is wonderful how little changed you are," he said again. "I am an old man and you are still a girl." "To bo sure," she answered, merrily, marshaling, with a woman's delight in appearing young to the man she loves, all the resources of gaycty the years had left her. "Growing old is supremo folly. People turn their heads gray with solemn study, and fancy they are growing wise. To keep a light heart is the only wis dom." "I wish I had it," he said, with the old wistful look in his eyes. "Hut it is hard to keep a lonely heart light." "Hut the way is not to have a lonely heart," she replied, rising to draw a flap ping shade beyond the reach of tho wind. What could he mean? Had he really not forgotten, then? Her own heart and head grew light to giddiness; still she must take nothing for granted. "And the Snndwich Islands," she said, resuming her seat, and bravely attacking tho name that had so haunted her all day. "Tell mo about the Sandwich Islands. Life must be very interesting out there." "Very." "So free from conventionalities and stupid formalities. I don't suppose you have church sociables and set tea-drink-ings out there now, or that you feel it necessary to know the very latest utter ances of tho great leaders of modern thought ? I dare say that in the absence of adequate leaders of late date, one might venture to do a little thinking for one's self, eh?" She rested her elbow on the arm of her chair, and laid her pointed chin in her pink palm with a distractingly attentive air, "Yes," he said, feebly, his eyes glued to her face, but no appearance of under standing in his own. "And then the sea all around you. Well, I don't know either that I am very fond of the sea. The sea is alien and inimical; full of treacherous things; no, decidedly, I don't like your sea." "Ahl but you would learn to like it," he exclaimed with anxious warmth. "It is really beautiful; mysterious and awful at times, it is true, but at other times joyous beyond anything you can imagine on land. To see it sparkling under the morning sun, rocking and swaying and clapping its hands as if it had some se cret and unfathomable reason for being glad !" "Only a surfp.ee gladness," interrupted Miss Martha. "At heart I am sure it is profoundly sad." "Ah! don't say you will not like it," he said, leaning forward, and seeming to make a personal matter of it. Sho shook her head obdurately. "I owe it an undying grudge. Beside, it must be very lonely." "For one, yes; but if there were two?" He leaned nearer; she drew back, half rising; but he caught her hand. "Martha, dear, you didn't marry the man your father promised you to. Tell me, was it your love of me?" "Well," she said, looking at him with a tantalizing smile, "what do you think about it?" "And you are right sure you never for got me for a single instant i" "Quite sure. And you will go with me, dear?" "To the sociable this evening? Why, certainly." "Ahl you know I don't mean there. Ho took her face fondly between his hands, lookingdown into the starry eyes. 'Well," with a sigh of deep content. "I suppose if nothing else will satisfy you I' must even go to the Sandwich islands. The Schoolmaster's Promise. "Boys," said an old schoolmaster, smiling, one day, "I am about to bargain with you for good conduct, I desire that you will behave yourselves with decorum for one week, and I will promise to show you a curiosity what no man ever saw, and, having shown it to you, what no man will ever see again." An anxious week followed a week of curiosity, be wilderment, hope, and pleasure in em bryo. Out of school it was all tho talk "What could it be?" Another and an other day, until the last Saturday dawned upon our gladdened young hearts. Nine o'clock came; every urchin was at his post; books and slates all in readiness; every task committed to memory. Alto gether a charming state of affairs. "Tin kle, tinkle!" sounded the bell that bell had a voice as well as a tongue. Mr. Birchen entered, seated himself, then raised tho lid of his desk, and drew the wonderful thins forth adjusted his om inous looking spectacles astraddle his nasal protection, aud proceeded to the solemn ceremony, saying, "The hour has at length arrived. Behold in my upraised finger a single filbert. In this filbert is a kernel," ceremoniously breaking the shell, and exposing the tiny thing to view, he continued: "This no man ever saw;" then opening his capacious jaws he thrust in the mysterious kernel, crushed and swallowed it. "Boys 1" exclaimed he, with great emphasis, "boys, you will never I shall never no man ever will see that kernel again 1 To your lessous, you ras cals, every one of you." When in Doubt. A couple of Hoosier statesmen wre traveling from Chicago to Washington with Senator Logan. The latter occupied a seat by himself and was engaged in reading a magazine. His companions, seated immediately behind him, were discussing the rules of whist. They got into a heated argument over the rule that requires a player, when in doubt, to lead trumps. After talking several min utes, one of them appealed to the Sena tor: "Geueral," he said, "when you are in doubt what do you do?" Logan, half turning his swarthy face toward his ques tioner, answered in a cool, matter-of-fscV way; "Consult Mrs. Logan." FIVE MINUTES OF FUN. EUMOIOUS 8T0BIES THAT WILL RAISE A SMILE. Too Thin How He Wanted to be Shaved Hlaekinar the Yellow l ever Tougher Than Pie-Crust "It is astonishing," remarked Sam Colly at the breakfast table, "how ex tremes meet in this world." "To what extremes do you refer, Mr. Colly?" asked tho widow Flapjack, who was pouring out the coffee. "Well, you, for instance, are very stout, and the colTee is so very thin," and ho stirred up the mixture, and smiled in a sickly sort of a way. "It's not as thin as your excuses for not paying your board regularly." Sam has not said "coffee" since. Sift ing t. How He Wanted to Be Shaved. The following incident has been re lated before, but the Boston QhAit thinks it will be enjoyed at this time: The late Charles O'Conor, soon after he took up his residence at Nantucket, had occa sion to visit one of the barber-shops in the town. The tonsorial artist, elated at the honor he enjoyed in the patronage at so distinguished a citizen, greeted Mr. O'Conor in the following garulous manner: "Good morning, Mr. O'Conor. Fine morning, sir." No answer. "Think the weather will continue fine, Mr. O'Conor." No answer. "We've had a good deal of rain, sir." No answer. The great lawyer sat in the chair. "How would you like to be shaved?" inquired the barber, placing a towel about his new customer's chin. "In silence, sir 1" was the stern and solitary reply. Blacking the Yellow Fever. Mental confusion is a phenomenon to which every one is liable who can be badly scared, and it takes but very little of it to turn a tragedy into a farce. Some years ago, when the terrible "Yellow Jack" was in Savannah, Judge B , of the supreme court of the btate, was holding session in the upper county, but within twenty-four hours' run, by mail, of the infected city. Quite suddenly, late one afternoon, he was seized with a head-ache, pain in his back, limbs, etc. Having heard that these were the saluta tions which Yellow Jack extends to his victims when approaching them, the judge, in great consternation, applied to a friend, who was "posted," for advice. A hot mustard bath was ordered at once, and the judge was soon laving himself in the irritating fluid. Presently he felt better, and finding a cake of soap in the bath tub, h began to apply it quite freely upon his person. After some pleasant exercise in this way, he looked down for the first time on his body and limbs, aud to his horror dis covered that he was turning black I His friend was hurriedly sent for, came in, and declared that the symptoms were in tensely expressive of yellow fever. "But," said the judge, "I feel no pain; I feel well." "So much the worse; the absence of pain is a marked sympton." "Oh," groaned the judge, "what shall I doi" "The only hope is in mustard; rub away," was all the advice his friend could give. And he did rub with a will. On ex amination, he was as block as a crow, and tho "soap," which a careless servant had dropped into the tub, was discovered to be somebody's patent paste blacking. The judge survived. Tougher Than Pie-CruaU ".That horrid Mrs. Sawyer!" said Mrs. Jones, the other day. " I wish she would move out of the neighborhood." " Well, what do you run there all the time for? I told you how it would be," retorted Mr. Jones. This was not the kind of sympathy Mrs. Jones expected, and she became ominously silent. ' What has she said about you now?" inquired Mr. Jones. "Oh, it's nothing about me," said Mrs. Jones. " Who is it about?" asked Jones, with evident anxiety. "It's about you," resumed Mrs. J. " Sho says you're no more fit to run for crlico than a briudlo cat, and that if Saw yer votes for you she'd never speak to him again. Sho says" " Never mind," said Jones loftily. " I'm not tho least interested in what a feeble-minded woman says." But the flatiron had struck home, and Jones left tho table with a look on his face that boded no good. It was baking day at the Sawyers'. If there was anything Mrs. Sawyer prided herself upon it was the tender, flaky quality of her paste. Jones knew this. Mrs. Sawyer was just rolling that ten der pie-paste into great sheets of trans parent (lough, when there cam J a knock at the door. Mrs. Sawyer answered it, rolling-pin in hand. It was Willie Jones who had knocked. "Please, Mrs. Sawyer," said the inno cent child, "pa would like apiece of your pie-crust." "Certainly, Willie," said Mrs. Jones, much flattered, "but it isn't baked yet." "He doesn't want it baked." "But he can't eat raw pie-crust." "He isn't going to eat it." "Then whut is he going to do with it ?" "lie said he wanted to mend the har ness, and make hinges for the barn door I with It, ana" I The rolling-pin hung fire, and the boy MCAned. hut. thn harrier lietivnon tht houses of Jones aud Sawyer can never be brokn. It is tougher than pie-crust. Detroit Free Press. Breaking: P a Hefrljrerator Itlan. "Fifty dollars to the man who can prove that any two things put into this ice-chest will taste of tho other." He had a refrigerator run out to the curbstone, hung the above sign over each side, and retired in-doors to await the expected run of customers. People passed up and down tho street, jostled each other in their hurry, glanced at the ice-box and its sign, and went on. Af ter some hours of disappointed hone9 and expectations the dealer saw a pedestrian halt, calmly peruse tho wonderful an nouncement, and rather hesitatingly ad vance to the door. "Do you mean it ?" ho inquired in an anxious tone, pointing over his shoulder to the sign. "Yes sir-ee," emphatically responded the dealer. "Put your money up," insinuated the stranger. "No, sir," replied the dealer in a pompous stylo; "my word is as good as the cash." "All right, I'll take you." responded the stranger, as he departed. Some time after he returned with a box under each arm. "Stick to your agreement?" he que ried. "Of course I will," answered the dealer, wondering what in the name of Christopher Columbus the man had in view. The stranger set his boxes down on the sidewalk, and a crowd began to collect. He told the dealer that he was afraid that he (the dealer) would back out of the bargain, but the latter asserted his readiness to put up the stamps if nec essary. Tho stranger opened a box, lifted a cat out and placed her in tho re frigerator; then ho opened tho other box and took therefrom a wire cage contain ing a large rat. "Now, mister," said he. "you just shut that door in a hurry when I flop the rat inside, and I'll go you another fifty that one will taste of the other in less'n five minutes." The crowd yelled, and the dealer slammed the refrigerator door and slid into the store, with a remark about fools and swindlers. He still refuses to recog nize the stranger's claim to the $50 but has taken his signs in. Denver liepulU can. The Greeks of Old. The physical superiority of the ante Alexandrian Greeks to the hardest and most robust nations of modern times, is perhaps best illustrated by the military statistics of Xenophon. According to the author of the Anabasis, the complete accoutrements of a Spartan soldier in what we would call heavy marching order, weighed seventy-five pounds, ex clusive of the camp, mining, and bridge building tools, ana the rations of bread and dried fruit, which were issued iu weekly installments, and increased the burden of the infantry soldier to ninety, ninety-five, or even to a full hundred pounds. This load wa9 often carried at the rate of four English miles an hour for twelve hours per diem, day after day ; and only iu the burning deserts of South ern Syria, the commander of the Grecian auxiliaries thought it prudent to shorten the usual length of a day's march by one fourth. The gymnastic tests applied by the systanchus, or recruiting officer of a picked corps, would appear more pre posterous to the uniformed exquisite of a modern "crack regiment." Even tall, well-shaped men of the soundest consti tution, could not pass tho preliminary examination unless they were able to jump their own height vertically and thrice their own length horizontally, aud two-thirds of those distances in full armor; pitch a weight equal to one-third of their own, to a distance of twenty yards, and throw a javelin with such dexterity that they would not miss a mark the size of a man's head more than four out of ten times at a distauce of fifty yards, beside other tests referring to their expertness in tho use of the bow and tho broadsword. Popular Science Monthly. Diet for Athletes. In Doctor Sargent's recent lecture on "What Shall We Eat to (iet Strong?" ho said in the course of his remarks: "It has been customary to train athletes on lean beef and mutton, but he thought this a mistake, as tissue-making food should bo used in combination with these, and the diet should be so changed as to meet tho requirements of tho or ganism of tho person using it, for to establish one diet for all persons was ridiculous. Beef alono is not superior to meal, beans, or other farinaceous food, and tho size of the muscles of a man is not indicative of his strength. Farinaceous food tones a' man down, and will tend to give him more endur ance. A man who can strike a blow equal to four hundrea pounds would be called a strong man, but this strength cannot bo kept up for any length of time on animal food, as it comes from tho base of the brain, and endurance must be sought for in other kinds of food. To reduce the weight of a man in training lean meats may do, but when ho is down in weight ho must go back to food containing more carbon, such as ham and sausages, which should al ways be eaten cold. Three years ago this would have been considered ridicu lous by trainers, but for a diet for run ning, walking and rowing it has been found that saccharine food, with beef or mutton is the best; tea, coffee and al cohol, as well as condiments, are objec tionable; indeed, it is not the quantity of food a person eats that strengthen him, but the amount assimilated aud worked into tiiu organism. liar turd Herald. THE SIGN. "When yon are dead, my darling, When over you has grown The grass to hide your face away Beneath a grave's white stone When, where your dear feet often trod You may not tread again, And you are in the world of God And I the world of men ; ' Oh, then, if by your grave, dear, I speak some loving word, I pray you, give some sign to me To tell me that you heard.1' "Dear, if you kneel beside me And whisper, thro' the mold Above me any tender words I loved to hear of old If in the grasses growing Above, my place of rest Some little flower should blossom, Some flower you loved the best, The while you knoel beside me And speak your loving word, Oh, you will see it, darling, And you will know I heard I" EbenE. Rexford. HUMOR OF THE DAY. Short meater A dishonest butcher. Men who hate long sentences Crim inals. Straw hats show which way the wind blows. Do they ever bury a dead calm ? Derrick. Butter is so cheap that the poorest people can make a spread with it. Pic ayune. The hand that rocks a cradle is th hand that can't stone a hen with any suc cess. 2feu York Journal. Carlylosays: "Laughter means sym pathy." This will bring comfort to the man who has inadvertently trodden on a banana peel. BMon Pod. "Trust men and they will trust you," said Ralph Waldo Emerson. "Trust men and they will bust you," says an or dinary, every-day business man. Satur day Sight. An exchange says that the famoui monkey of the Jardin des Plantcs hat "joined the great majority of Monkeys." Become a "dude," we presume. Neu York Graphic. "The female giraffe," says the Bis marck Tribune, "has a tongue seventeen inches long, but she can't talk." Now we linow why a giraffe wears such a sad . and subdued expression. HOW OLEO IS MADE. "My name is oleomargarine, I'm mighty nice to handle; And when they want to make me They milk a tallow candle. " Merchant-Traveler, Queen Victoria is said to have nineteen granddaughters. When the old lady and her granddaughters get on a street car a good many loyal Britons have to hang on to the straps Courier-Journal. A Vermont woman, who was throwD out of a runaway team, was found in an apple tree uninjured. This i3 the first time a woman was ever known to climb a tree under the influence of fright. Burlington Free Press, THE APPLES GREEN. The small boy looks with longing eyes Upon the apples green, He will not touch tuom if he's wisa, For lurking at the core there lies Colics and cramps unseen. Chicago Sun. "Are you having much practice now?' asked an old judge of a young lawyer. " Yes, sir, agood deal, thank you." "Ah, I'm glad to hear it. In what line is your practice particularly?" " Well, sir, par ticularly in economy." "Did the lion and the lamb ever lit down together?" asked a young hopeful who had just returned from Suuday school. "Ye, my son," answered th father; "but tho lamb was out of sight." The boy was satisfied. Peck's Sun. ABOUT TOE SIZE OF IT. There's a strwt iu New York known as Wall, Far famous for wind and for gull, Where men who go iu Intending to win Come out with just nothing at all. Louisville Courier-Journal, A fashion item says: "Tanned kids are coming in fashion again." It will be harder than ever now to coax boys to go to school. "Tanned kids" went out ol fashion when the old stylo pedagogue stepped down and out with his rattan. Norristoien Herald. "Look here. This pleco of meat don't suit mo. It's from tho back of tho ani mal's neck," said an Austin num to a German butcher. "Mine fren', all dot . beef vat I sells is back of dot neck. Dere vos nodding but horn iu front of dot neck. Texas Sitings. "Ah!" exclaimed an old miner who went up in tho air on tho wing of a prematurely discharged blast, "this maket mo feel homesick." "How so!" gasped his companion, who involuntarily ac companied him. "Because it's the big gest blowing-up I've hail since I left my wife in the States." New York Journal. It is said that just before a Hiudoo woman dies a cow is brought iu that shu may take hold of its tail as her life passes away. Anybody who has beeu yauked over a two-acre lot of newly-plowed land, deathlcssly gripping tho tail of an impulsive cow, cau understand how tho heathen rite is supposed to typify tho longing of a person to die. liocklaiid Courier. Milk, in the manufactured ice-cream, is first boiled and afterward partially congealed. In the boiling a lacteal acid of bateria' is set free that, uniting with u hyp i-sulpuido of Imtcrio ovido, ugaiu ' solidities as a bi -sulphide of stuiuakake iu the congeuling. This, wheu taken into the system, produces cramps, lre iiuout ending futally. (Show this to your gui.)
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers