THE FOREST REPUBLICAN Ii pobllahed erory Wednesday, by J. E. WENK. Office In Smenrbnnsh & Co.'s Building, SXM STREET, TIONESTA, TA. RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Square, one inch, one Insertion 11 On One Square, one Inch, one month 8 OO One Square, one Inch, three month. A 00 One Square, one Inch, one year w no t'wo Square, one year Quarter Column, one year n Half Column, one year 80 w One Colomn jone year I00 W tegal notice at establlfhed rates. Marriage and death notices gratis. All bills for yearly advertisements collected onar. tcriy. Temporary advertisements must be paid In advance. Job work eaah on delivery . . Terms, tl.BO per Year. No subscriptions received for shorter period than three months. (;orreiondt'iice solicited from all pnrts of the Country. Mo notice will be taken of anonymous communications. VOL.OT. NO. 3. TIONESTA. PA.. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 30, 1884. $1,50 PER ANNUM. I " I THE WAY OF THE WORLD. There sat a crow on a lofty tree, "Watching (lie world go by: He aaw a throne that swept along With laughter louil and high. "In and outthroiiRh tho motloy rout" Tale ghosts stole on unseen, Their hearts were longing for one sweet word Of the love that once hud lxien. But nevor a lip there soke thoir namea, Never a tear was ahed: The crow looked down from Ida lofty tree), "Tis the way of the world," he said. A singer stood in the market-place, Binglne a tender lay, But no one heeded his sorrowful face, No one had time l stay. He turned away: he Fang no more; How could lie sing in vain? And thon the world rame to his door Bidding him Mug aaiu. But he rooked not whether .they came or went He in his parret dea l : The crow looked down from his lofty tree, '"Tia the way of the world," he said. There fat a queen by a cottage bed, Bpoke to the widow there; Did she not know the same hard blow The jxasnnt had to bear! And she kissed that bumble peasant's brow, And then she bent hor knee: "God of the widow, help her now, As thou host helped mo." 'Now (iod be thanked," said the old, old crow, As he sjied from his lofty bough; ''Tho times are ill, but there's much good still In tho way of the world, I trow." 1 K. Weatherly. A STORY OF SHIPWRECK. "Tell us how your hair turned white," said one of the party at tho fireside. "In Juno, 1831," said tho man with tho white hair. " I left my home in Ohio for Buffalo. 1 Being in a hurry to return, I took passage by tho steamer O. P. Griffith for Toledo, on a late Sunday af ternoon. The ship carried over 400, pas sengers and crow. I must have slept soundly for about two hours in my berth, when I was awakened by tho sound of hurrying footsteps overhead, and, look ing through tho ventilator to the upper deck, I saw two or three sailors running along dragging a hoso pipo. J partly dressed nud went forward to the prome nade deck, where I heard from tho pilot house above tho voice of the captain cry ing, 'Starboard! Hard starboard I and steer her for the shore!' "The ship veered from her course and headed for tho shore, five miles away. I wont back to my stateroom, awakened the man in tho other berth, and rapped on several of the doors. As 1 came out again into the cabin I saw smoke curling out from the side. The command had been given to call up tho passengers, and when I again reached the forward deck they were crowding upon it. Just aroused from sleep.they hurried out half dressed or in their night clothes, many carrying chil dren, bandboxes, bird-cages, carpet bags and bundles, all anxious to save some thing. I climbed up on the railing and, taking hold of a stanchion, swung my self to tho main deck below. Stepping' over the forms of many who were lying there still asleep, I went around to the engine and. looking up, saw that the fire had broken out near tho smoke stack in a spot so difficult to got at that in all probability the ship was doomed. Hurry ing back to the main deck, -upon which tho crowd was fast increasing, I removed all my clothing but my night shirt and drawers. Taking my money and valu ables, I rolled them up with my trousers and laid them carefully away on deck whero I might recover them if the ship should escape destruction. Climbing up on the rail near the gangplank, I held on until tho frantic crowd, pressing for ward, forced me away. I crept along on the gunwale to neur the wheel on the land side, where I clung and watched the crowd as they surged forward from the approaching flames. "There was scarcely a scream heard. As the flumes drove them further and further forward whole columns of people were pushed into the water. Husbands caught thoir wives and children, and, throwing thorn overboard, jumped after them. Women with babes in their arms went about piteously bogging some one to save their children, and when they were pushed or jumped into the water neiutueir imams wii uuovc iunr nruus. After ihev wore drowned their quilted skirts buoyed them up, and 1 saw babies actually trying with their little hands to catch the dancing light of the flames in the water. "Tho bhip grounded at daybreak in about ten feet of water, a little more than half a mile from the shore. The water all about the forward part of her was full of drowned and drowning peo pie. Many good swimmers struck out for the shores, but from all sides the poor drowning wretches would clutch them and drag them down. "The flames drove mo off at last. In the water just beneath me was a strug- elinK crowd of drowning creatures cling ing to each other. Suddenly a space of about twenty feet cleared instantly by their sinking out of sight, dragging each other down. I determined to jump, swim toward the stern of the boat until out of reach of the clutches of the drowning, and then make a detour for the shore. Kemeuiberins how 1 used to jump into the water as a bov, when learning to swim. I nut mv f-et closely together, arms straight by my side, aud plunged down like a wedge to the bottom, with my eyes wide open. For a brief second I saw lying on the bed of the luke heaps of dead bodies in all positions. On rising to the surface 1 struck out with my arms, but to my horror found my feet bound tightly together. Tho band of my draw ers had burst, and, slipping down, had bound my ankles as securely as if tied. Turning on my buck, I carefully disci tangled thorn from each foot. These ef forts greatly exhausted mo, but, one? free, I swam toward tho stern until I was quite clear of all obstructions, and thon struck out for shore. One strong swim mer passod mo and spoke some encour aging words. I saw others who must have becomo dazed, swimming bock into the lake. "I was not an experienced swimmer,but I had passed, as I had judged, nearly half the distance to the shore when a deathlike coldness and numbness came creoping over mo. All the life I had left seemed centred in my head, which felt liko a ball of fire. I found that I was turning round and round in the water, now catching glimpses of the burning ship, to which even yet a few human be ings wore clinging, and now of tho beach. Could I ever reach it Was it worth while to struggle any longer? Every movement caused intense pain in my chest and lungs. It seemed so easy to die now. . "I ccasod all efforts and raised my eyes for a lost look at the sky. I was struck by a peculiar golden haze of the atmos phere, and the air seemed filled with human forms hovering over tho drown ing. The air was filled with them, and close beside me I recognized my father, brother and other friends who had died many years before. They called me by name. They pressed closely around me, telling mo to struggle on and they would aid me that my work was not done hat I could not be spared yet. "A littlo strength cafno back to me. I remembered that I must be more than half way to tho shore. Tho water could not be over five foot deep. I let myself down, and felt the sand under me. Aided by my spirit friends, whose hands and presence were as real to me as any human touch, 1 crept on mv bands and knees on the sand for some distance. rising often to breathe. Becoming too weak for this, with my heavy head con stantly falling backward. I sank to the bottom, and drew my body with my arms near and nearer to the shore, rising to tho surface as often as necessary. A man was lying on the beach, one of the few who ever reached it. When he saw me feebly struggling, he crept down to the water's edge, and, reaching out his hands, tried to aid me. I slowly crept up a littlo way out of the water, but he was so weak that, falling backward, I would lose my hold and sink again. "At last I was lying on the ury sand. How good it seemed to lie there, if only I need never move again. My companion spoke roughly yet kindly to me, telling inc that it was sure death to remain there. I refused to move, but, being much stronger, he compelled mo to get up, and, half supporting me in bis arms, dragged mo unwillingly along. A far mer mot us and almost carried mo across the fields to a low two-roomed log cabin. In the smaller room, containing two beds, i was at last permitted to he down. The long black neck of a bottle was in serted between my lips, and I drank UDtil it was gently removed. The draught warmed me. . I alternated between consciousness and unconsciousness, but remember much that passed about me. A large man with a tall hat, black satin vest, and heavy gold chain came in and laid down uiion the other bed. He certainly had not been in the water, and I wondered if he had been saved in a boat. A man in the next room was exclaiming mourn fully: "'Mine GottI Mine Gott! Mine monish is all gone. Mine monish is all gone. Mine wife Is gone. Mine son is gone. Oh, mine Gott, mine monish is all gone !' Again and again that mournful wail went up. Then I heard the tall man call out wrathfully : " 'Won t some one kill that fellow?' "Then I dozed off again. When I awoke, more people were coming in, bearing a woman, and they were saying she was the only woman saved. I heard them say that eight men swam ashore, and twenty were saved in a boat. Only twenty-eight saved out of over four hun dred ! Toward evening they put us all in a heavy lumber wagon on beds of straw to take us, they said, to ' Lloyd s Tavern, three miles away.' Jolting along over a rough road, the pain in my chest and limbs became unbearable, and I re member nothing more. Days afterward I awoke from what seemed a long sleep. I found myself lying on a bed in a strange room, alone. The sound of voices came in through the open window and from tho halls, whore people were constantly passing to and fro. 1 hey wore talking or a great dis aster, of dead bodies lying in heaps on the sand waiting to bo claimed, and of others being buried in a trench. There was something about county lines, of coroners quarreling over fees, of thieves in bouts at night stnpmng the drowned bodies, and tearing rings from fingers and ears. Those monotonous voices were forever talking about that one thing. "Well, what if they were dead? The dead were at rest. What had I to do with that shipwreck? Why did not some one come to me? What was I doing here in this strange room? Why was I so still and sore, so full of pain, so weak I could not move? I fell asleep again, and when I awoke still the same voices were talking about poor drowned bodies, thieves, coroners and bouts; and then came a dim recollection that I had known something about that shipwreck. It all came back to me clear and distinct, boon afterward man came with broth and nourish ing food, of which I ate with a relish while he answered my questions. This was Saturday, and I had left Buffalo on the Sunday preceding. Lloyd's tavern wm fuuan mil from the city of Clave land. I must get up. ITow could I lie . here? I muBt get into tho air. I must go homo. Home I Why, at home doubt less they mourned me as dead. I had nocn dead for days to them. I begged the man to bring mo some clothes. Ho brouarht nio gome old mirments much too largo for mo, with an old black slouched hat, and helped me to dress, for I was too weak to stand alone. He then placed me comfortably in an easy chair and told me to rest awhilo. . At length, feeling rested and stronger, I arose and moved slowly across the room toward the open door. "I saw a gray -headed old man coming toward me, poorly dressed, with an old hat in his hand, and a stubby beard on his face. I thought that perhaps he was also one of the shipwrecked. I spoke to him kindly, but he did not reply, and still advanced. I stopped; ho stopped also. We stared at each other. I spoke again. His lips moved, but not a sound left them. I drew forward a chair, and sat down. He sat down also, staring half fearfully at me. Great God! was that mvself ? That whito hair could it be mine? No, it was a wig. Some one was playing a joke upon mo. I put up my hand. No, it would not come oil. "I went back and lay down upon my bed, very weak, utterly disheartened. Later I was driven slowly down to the beach, and I saw all that was left of the steamer a few blackened spars and the charred hull. Many people were exam ining, either from curiosity or identifi cation, tho bodies as they were bought in. There was a long trench in the sand, in which were placed those not identi fied. It appeared that the steamer had been wrecked on a county line, and two coroners were there quarreling over the bodies and claiming their fees. "My friend helped me out of the wagon, and seated me ou a rock close by a most forlorn and unkempt figure I must have presented. Two men stood near whore I sat, and one of them spoke of having received another telegram from Cleveland, inquiring it the body of the man K had yet been found. A old chill ran down my back. Produc ing the telegram, he read the descrip tion: ' 'Twentv-eieht years'of age.5 feet 9 inches in height, weight about 100 pound, fair skin, blue eyes, black hair, small bands and feet, mole on left shoulder. Has the body been found i Have it properly prepared for burial, and send to B, , Cleveland.' "I was 'K.' and they were hunting for my body to prepare it for burial ! My friend came buck just then, and I begged to be taken to the hotel at once. I must start for home, I said, as soon as possi ble. . Arriving at the bouse, I saw a car riage and horses standing before the door. Four gentlemen came out and agreed to take me with them. 'I learned from their conversation that my companions had been sent out from Cleveland to identify the dead and find tho living. Euch related incidents connected with tho search. They spoke of being out in boats, sometimes all night, dragging for bodies, of seeing the thieves at their villainous work, of the disgraceful quarreling of the coroners, and of the discomforts of camping out. At length one of the gentlemen said he regretted going back with no news of the young man K., whose friends were so anxious about him." " 'I half believe,' said he, 'that he was not on the boat at all. We have seeu everybody, dead or alive, who has been found, and no one answering his descrip tion is discovered." " 'AVhero is his description,' asked another. " ! have it. No, not here. I remem ber, I gave it to the coroners. He was, as I recollect the description, a man about twenty -eight, fair skin 'blue eyesand black hair. It is hard to go Lack with no information. By the way. stranger, did you see any one answering that descrip tion V '"Would you be willing to take the body without preparation for burial?' I asked. " 'Why, of course. Any way we could get it.' " 'Well, then,' said I, 'drop me at II. 'a house.' "A shout went up from the carriage. A few days later, after having enjoyed the delightful evperience of being kissed, cried over, and welcomed back from the dead, I lighted a cigar, seated myself comfortably, and had the novel expe rience of reading my own obituary, and a good orthodox obituary it was, too." Nete York Sun. HEALTH HINTS. To abort a sty, paint it over very care fully with tincture of iodine, using a small camels-hair brush so as to avoid touching the eyeball. Dr. FooWt Health Monthly. Mr. Dalby, the English aurist, finds that congenital deafness is commoner among the offspring of cousins who uinrry thau among tho offspring of un related persons of whom one or both uro cougcnitally deuf. In a case of measles the room should be kept dark to protect tho inflamed eyes. As long as the fever rejiuins the patient should be kept in bed. Expos ure may cause pneumonia, which, in other words, is acute inflammation of the lungs. Keep in the room as long as tho cough lasts. Oil of wintergreen mixed with an equal quantity of olive-oil, when applied ex ternally to inflamed joiuts auected by acute rheumatism, is maintained to be, on high therapeutic authority, a means of instant relief from pain. At any rate, its introduction to the nick chamber is unobjectionable, if only for the agreea ble odor it imparts to the atmosphere. There are about 86,000 locomotive en gines in the world, and 120,009 pasn ger and 800,000 freight cart, THE ANACONDA'S BANQUET. BOW A BI PTTHOB SWALLOWS A BABBIT. Poor Hunny, Crtiahed to Death In the Knahe'a Folds, (iraduallr Ii aupeara Down It'a stomach, Tho biggest anaconda in the glass-enclosed snake cage at the Philadelphia museum wriggled uneasily at 9 o'clock p. m., as six young gray rabbits, which had just been put into tho cage, frisked over his sinuous body. The other ser pents also awoke to life as the rabbits' feet pattered over their glistening scales. The two pythons, although they had been starved like their companions for a week, seemed indifferent to the offered feast. Only two of the anacondas ran out their durk red tongues at the rabbits, and only the larger of them seeiped to rememucr tnat Be was nungry. ine rabbits were unconscious of any danger. They rubbed their noses along his scales and even felt in innocent curiosity of his ugly, forked head. The anaconda tied himself ' into a hard knot, twisted himself straight again with a jerk, and drew his slimy body into a curve. One of the rabbits, whose body seemed three times as big as that of the snake, rubbed his cold nose against the snake's closed mouth. The anaconda drew back sud denly, arched his neck and ran his slen der tongue rapidly in and out, while his black eyes became iridescent. The unsuspecting rabbit made another coquettish advance toward that upraised head. A sudden flash, a smothered cry, and poor Bunny's head was buried in the snake's jaws. The long body, with startling quickness, tied itself about the rabbit, fold after fold encircling it with slippery construction. Every bone in the rabbit was crushed in ten seconds. His gray hind legs gave three or four spas modic kicks and stretched out in death. Slowly the big snake wriggled and turned about, never loosening his hold upon the rabbit's head, while the limp body was drawn again and again through coil after coil, stretching it to twice its original length. Then there was a short pause, after which, by an indescribably horrible movement, the first third of the snake's body drew itself into greater thickness toward the neck. The big white under jaw stretched like rubber, the whole head pressed forward, the body drew itself back again, and sev eral inches of rabbit disappeared. This process was repeated until only half of the rabbit's hind legs pro truded from the jaws. Then the ana conda raised its head in air, opened wide, its great red mouth, gave another gulp, nd the rabbit's feet were drawn into its throat. With successive contortions a the muscles the snake worked the elon Grated and crushed rabbit along its body, the progress of the victim being pluinlj discernible by a moving swelling, like ( gliding wave, of the anaconda's skin. The whole process did not last fifteen oiinutes. All the while, the other rab bits played about the wriggling snake, unconscious of ,the fate of their missing orother. It was a scene fascinating by its very repulsiveness. In the course of half an hour the same inaconda swallowed another rabbit, and :ho other snakes had disentangled them selves and were leisurely preparing for a aieal. Several more rabbits were put in the cage. "They won't be there in the morning," remarked Manager Perley, as tie turned out the gas and led the way down stairs. Not Afraid of Animals. "George, dear, do you know that papa doesn't like you very well?" "Oh, yes," said George. " And he has said that I mustn't re ceive you any more at the house." "Good for him," replied the young man, heartily. "And," continued the girl, with a blanched face, "I hear him now in the woodshed untying the dog." " Yes, I hear him ; but he is standing terribly in the dog's light. Does he hate the dogP "No, George, dear, he hates you. But what in the world will you do? You will surely have an encounter with tho ferocious animal when you go out." George smiled a superior smile and said : "My dear, as you know, I am a book agent. My income is derived solelvjfrom selling books. This afternoon I sold an editor of a daily paper an encyclopedia, a pronouncing dictionary and a gazetteer of natural history. It took me ten min utes. I shall spend five minutes with the dog." Phihddphui Call. Peci&iaritles of Some Congressmen- A correspondent of the Hartford Time writes that Stewart, of Texas, is the tallest man in the House of Representa tives, measuring six feet seven inches; Tillman, of South Carolina, never wears an overcoat; "Richelieu" ltobinson, of New York, has not cut his hair since lust season, and says it is not to be cut again until Ireland is "free;" McAdoo, of New Jersey, wears the tightest-fitting clothes in the House; John F. Wise, of Virginia born in Brazil parts his hair in the middle; and Cannon, of Illinois, is the only Representative who always gesticu lates with his left hand. Anxious to Please. Mr. Dudley Villiers (who writes poetry "just for relaxation, you know,") 1 see you have my verses, Mrs. Green ; have you read them? Mrs. G. Oh! Yes, I almost know them by heart. Mr. D. V. (with a little thrill)--Rcully! Mrs. G. Yes, indeed! I read the chil dren to sleep with them every night. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. Steel tubes are found to retain twice as much magnetism i9 steel rods, and are therefore better for permanent magnets. The sawdust and refuse of tho sawmill is now made to yield fourteen gallons of turpentine, three o." four gallons oi resin ana a quantity of tar per cord. French silk manufacturers are reported to bo very hopeful as to the capabilities of a big spider lately discovered in Airica, which weaves a yellow web of great strength and elasticity. Paper wash-basins, buckets, and simi lar articles for domestic purposes are generally made of straw pulp, and after they are rough made into the desired shape they are subejeted to hydraulic pressure in strong molds where they ac quire the finished form. The annual rainfall in this country, ac cording to the' Weather Signal, is lowest in New Mexico (thirteen inches) and Cal ifornia (eighteen inches), and highest in Oregon (forty-nine) and Alabama (fifty six). The annual rainfall in the British Islands among the mountains is forty-one inches; on the plains, twenty-five inches; forty-five inches of rain falls on the west side of England, twenty-seven on the east side. A solution has been attempted by M. P. de Gasparin of the remarkable sunsets which have excited the wonder of the world. For many reasons he discards the hypothesis that they were due to the action of falling stars, and considers that the luminous effects were produced by the light of the sun falling on an atmos phere charged with particles of mutter, in a state of minute subdivision, at a great height above the eurth, the exact nature and origin of which dust had not yet, however, been determined. Dr. Murray Gibbes reports, in the London Medical Journal, thirty-seven cases of diphtheria claimed to have been cured by saturating the atmosphere of the room in which the patient was placed with the vapor of eucalyptus globules. The atmosphere must be constantly loaded with steam, and the vapor of the Sucalyptus is obtained by pouring water on the dried leaves. To assist nature in throwing off the membrane Dr. Gibbes used a solution of steel aud glycerine, with which he brushed the throat when the membrane is loose enough to come away easily. Praising the National Capital. The capital of the Republic is not un worthy of the great and prosperous coun try in which it occupies the first place. YYaehington is an absolute creation of the Federal Congress. Other cities have grown, but Washington was made. The site chosen for the seat of government was well adapted for the purpose, though some of the lower ground is said to be conducive to maluria. Large ideas per vaded the founders of the city. They provided for a development commen surate with the development of the na tion. Hence they placed the public de partments so far away from each other that Washington was happily designated the City of Magnificent Distances. The distances are still magnificent; but the intervening spaces have now almost all been filled up with handsome residences. The streets and avenues are all broad, till planted with trees, and nearly all asphalted. It is said that the average width is double that of the streets and avenues of Paris and Berlin. Pennsylvania avenue seemed to me even finer than the Champs Elysees. The management of the thoroughfares is placed in the hands of a parking commission, which has done its work so well that up ward of 67,000 trees have been planted under its direction. Trees of the same variety are placed in each street or ave nue, regard being had to the surround ing conditions. For instance, preference is given in the lower locations to the California poplar, which, in its power of absorbing miasmatic exhalations, Pears a strong resemblance to the eucalyptus, which cannot be successfully grown so far north. The result of the Parking commission's operations is that 130 miles of shaded walks are provided for the use aud enjoyment of tho citizens of Washington. Many of the public build ings are splendid specimens of urehitec ture. The capitol, however, overshad ows them all. Situated on an elevation in the center of the city, it commands a clear and unobstructed view on every side. Nothing can bo finer than tho prospect from the capitol the city, em bosomed in trees, lying below ; the broud waters of the Potomac beyond ; aud be yond the Potomac again tho Heights of Arlington, where, around the ancestral home of tho lute General Lee, 16,000 Federal and Confederate soldiers lie side by side in one common graveyard. Erom tho Potomac, too, the city has a charming appearance, crowned us it is by the dome of the capitol, which shines iu the suu like a globe of polished silver. I have seen many of the cupitols of Europe. I have seen London, Edinburgh and Dub lin; I have seen Paris, Berlin and Brus sels; I have seen Copenhagen, Christi ana, Dresden and tho Hague. But 1 have seen none thut surpasses for effect the city of Magnificent Distances. "Our American Cousins." No Quurtcr. There is a sign over a butcher's shop ou Michigan avenue which reads: "Beef by the quarter." One day lately a man weut in aud asked for a teu-pou' roust, giving the name and nuinlV . was to be sent to. When he was walking out the proprietor stopped him aud told him he hud forgotten to puy for it. "Doesn't your read, "Beef by the quarter?" Send round your bill when the quarter's up and, collect." "Look here!" shouted tho angry butch er, "you pay down now or you'll gut no beei. It's war to tho knife and bo quar ter, d'ye tear?" Fra Prut. SAD HBAFIT, TO THEE I SlNOw As shower of rain to sing of birds, As thorns to weary feet, As winter wind to autumn lee. Tea, As sickle to the wheat; Bo to the heart the hand of Grief, 80 to the eye the tear, When Hops is dead and not a roa To lay upon the bier. As lilies In a desert place, As stars in leaden fkiee, As Fleep comes to a weeping child When angels kiss ita eyes; Bo to the heart the still, small voioa That whispers through the gloom: ''Dead Hope, I say to thee arise And make life's roses blooml" Clarence T. Urmy, in the Contintnt. HUJIOR OF THE DAT. The dark horse Night-mare. The banker is the best known man of note. . . A case of much interest When you borrow of your uncle at the sign of tho three balls. As this is leap-year women have the. privilege of whistling when they want to stop a street car. Philadelphia Chronicle. A writer in a scientific monthly asks: "What is a meter!" It's a sort of a me chanical Jay-Eye-See. Philadelphia Call. An exchange says mush has become a pcpular dish in society. Nothing seems to take in society like something soft. Blizzard. In a courtship the position of purser is occupied by a man, while woman looks after the rigging and stays. Chicago Telegram. Lambkin says the only sure preventive against Western river rising would be for him to own a lew shares of 'em. Boston Bulletin. The largest word in the dictionary is "disproportionubleness." By punching out every other letter it ought to make an excellent comb. Chicago Hun. And still, year after year, the standard of college education is raised higher and higher and higher. Columbia has just organized a banjo club. Uawkeye. "Bring something good to the sur prise party to-night," wrote a young lady to her sweetheart, and the New York Morning Journal says "he brought a tremendous appetite." Walt Whitman's latest poem shows a marKed improvement in tho construction of rhymes. He makes "suggestions" rhymo with "goal,"and "sun" with "hur ricanes." Norristotcn llerald. We have discovered that .turkeys can be completely fooled by throwing them gold dollars by the handful. They snap them up iu mistake for corn. It is good fun. Try it. Philadelphia Call. "Shot dead by a doctor!" ' Such is tho startling caption of au article in an ex change. He must be a very unskillful physician who has to resort to powder and bull to get rid of a patient. Boston 1'ran tcript. It was only a littlo piece of butter cracker, yet how great and colossal and bitter it seemed to the occupant of the hull-room as he suddenly jumped into bed and got it square in the small of his back. Puck. A Boston man advertises that he recov ers umbrellas. This man should have a good run of custom. We would give him a job ourselves if we thought he could recover the silk one we lost lust spring. Somen ille Journal. Mother "I am afraid Mr. Crisscross ia not serious in his attentions!" Daugh ter "He is awful bashful, you know; but he's offering himself piecemeal. Last night he wanted mo to take his arm." , A'eie York Graphic. An exchange says: "What are our young meu doing I" We can't answer lor tho rest of the country but around here they are engaged mainly in trying to lead a nine-do. lar existence on a seven dollar salary. Hot Springs A'ews. A Vermont man has a hen thirty-nine years old. The other day a hawk stole it, but after an hour caine back with a broken bill and three claws gone, put down the hen and took un old rubber boot in place of it. Boston Post. Confucius or some other ancient writer states that little things are very often greatest. When this little bit of philoso phy was written tho philosopher must have been trying to chase a solitary mos quito out of the room iu the durk. Puck HKR STUPENDOUS 8CKKAH. A Kargo young lady named Rouse Caught a i;hiupM) of a poor hula mouse, Ami the bcreaui thut she scrome, Shattered heaven's blue dome, And bulged out the waits of the house. Bismarck Tribune. A woman in Macon, Ga., has been tend ing a switch since 1803, aud it is con sidered a remarkable thing down there. We should liko to see a Massachusetts woman who does not "tend a switch" as regulurly as she does up her hair every day. Lowell Courier. MA1DKN MEDITATION. Let posts sing of gentle spring. The joys that birds and flowers brinjr, The woods that with wild echoes rmg, The sky, and all that sort of tiling, In rhymes which huve no miaou; But as for ine when, like a bee, 1 seek for sweetness, fancy free, And ilart my glance with ravage glee At bashful swains who start aud flee, Uive uie the leap-year season! Sew lot h Journal. The Meaning of It A correspondent writes: Is it a sign thut a girl loves you when she sends you a poem like this: "Oh, dearest, you have wou my heart; Of lite itself you are a imrt. 1 sleep, 1 dream, 1 pray for tlieu, Just as 1 hone you do for me." No, it is a sign thut the girl's system is out of order. She should consult a phy sician. Boomerang,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers