1
!jf crrst ilfpbliffla
J. E. WENK.
Omoa ia Smefbugh A Co.'s Balldin
ELM STREET, - TIONTJSTA, TA.
TICI1MS, f 1.50 XKIt YEAIt
No anbsorlritiona received for ft shoriaT period
tlmn three month.
Correspondence rolirlted from til part of U)
country. No notice wid betaken of anonymous
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
One Smre, one Inch, one insertion... fl M
One S'l'mre, one inch, one month (00
( Mie Square, one inch, three month. . . 00
One Square, one inch, one yes .... M 00
Two Square, one year , 100
yunrter Column, one year 80 (4
llnlf Column, one year BO 60
Una Column, one year 100 09
trnl notices at established rata.
Marrinijo ami death notices (rratis.
All bills fur yearly advertisements collected
quarterly. Temporary advertisements must
be paid in advance.
Job work, cash on delivery.
(0
4
VOL. 171. NO. 36.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12, 1883.
$1.50 PER ANNUM.
THE UNDERTOW,
We gaze upon the sunlit t ea,
But cannot scan the depths bolow,
Nor dream how strong it pulse may bs,
Until we fool lta undertow.
We may know well a sunny fuco,
But not the silent tido bnlowj
The Inner grace we cimuit trow,
We know not what the undertow.
Our life in more than wo yet see;
There still arc greater depths to know,
The surface beautiful may bo,
But grander is tho undertow.
We cannot fat horn all the rtrlfe,
The mysteries that round us flow:
Wo only hav a faith In life,
We only fe;d tho uudertjw.
MG1I UNTO DEATH.
i
A CASE OP niKTMHTANTIAI, EVIDENCE.
The warehouso of M. Justin Bertrund
was situated on the Rue Madeleine. It
was -supposed to be burglar proof, so,
when M. licrtrand put up his shutters
end went home, the safety of his poods
troubled him but little It appears, how
ever, that on the morning of February 15,
1840, as the watchman, uccompanied by
a fellow ollicer wus passing, he noticed
that one of the side shutters hud up-
jircnt!y lx-cn removed. This aroused
trie suspicions of the officers, and ad
vancing a few steps he stumbled over the
. bleeding and inanimate, form of a young
man. At this moment two men rushed
out of a rear door. Tho companion of
the oflicer gave chase and succeeded in
capturing one of the two who hud just
" left in such great haste. Tho watchman
then summoned assistance, and tho limp
Wody of the young man was borne to the
Palais do Justice. Further search
revealed the, fact that M. Bert rand had
, been murdered while, in his wurchonsc.
When sufficiently restored to conscious
ness tho young man, Henri Gourard by
name, protested his innocence. His story
was heurd, but not believed.
" Alas!" ho exclaimed, " why did they
not kill me, and save my mother this
great sorrow?"
The one captured by the watchman's
companion, Kichet, an ex-galley slave,
then told his story, on promise of being
set at liberty.
The three had put up a job to "gut"
M. Bortrund's warehouse, boule, tho one
who hud escaped, Gourard aud himself.
They had entered tho place, and were
. 'progressing admirably when u noise
. startled them. It wti9 M. Uertrand, who
Lad entered tho place to ascertain the
cause of the shutters being down. As he
approached o where the three were
crouching Gourard struck him a tremend
ous blow on tho head with a "jimmy,"
which felled him lifeless to the floor. Ap
parently terrified at his ow n act, Gourard
then rushed down stairs, and when ho
reached the middle he stumbled, his head
striking the corner of the counter. Ho
fell senseless. They curried him from
the, building, intending to convey him to
a place'of secrecy. They had just reached
tho street when they remembered that
they had left something compromising
behiniLind had gone in search of it when
the olhTris arrived. The rest is known.
GourariL was remanded to be
' fore tkjpresiding judge at tli
ncux. He first, however, sent e
tried bc-
the Tribu-
a letter to
his mother informing her of his great
trouble and assuring her of his inno
cence. His mother, hastening to Paris,
had secured tho service of one M. Belot
to defend her son. The day of trial at
length arrived. It hapiiened, however,
thut on that very day a young lawyer,
Pierre Gaston, was stopping in Paris
awaiting the arrival of certain persona
with whom he had important business.
Not Laving anything to do he sought the
court room for the purpose of passing
the time in observing the proceedings of
the court. His route led him by the jail
where Gourard was incarcerated. Just
before reaching tho grim recepticle of
crimo and misery, two officers, having in
charge a pule young man, apparently
about twenty-one, came from the prison,
stepped upon the wulk immediately in
front of him, and moved in tho same
direction he was going. M. Gaston had
then an opportunity to observe the fea
tures of the young prisoner. His features,
his niunners, his respectable bearing, all
struck the young lawyer favorably. The
three persons walked with rapid strides
toward the court house. They had pro
ceeded but a short distance when they
were met by a respectably-appearing
woman of about forty years of age. The
moment she saw him she sprang forward
and clasped him in her arms, exclaiming:
"Oh, Henri 1 Henri! My boy, my
eon !"
The sudden appearance of tho woman
caused the officers to halt.
"Mother, why did you not wait at the
Court House for me?" said tho young
man, endeavoring to smother his emo
tions. "Because 1 did not see you there,
Henri, and I thought perhaps you might
not have your trial to-day ufter all, and
so I started to see you ut the jail. Oh,
my boy, my darling," said the wretched
woman, her voice now broken with sobs,
"are they going to try you to-day?"
"Yes, mother, I um to be tried to
day. But calm yourself. I trust all will
be well with me, for God above knows
that I am not guilty."
Tho woman raising herself to her full
height, with flashing eyes, answered :
"You guilty, Henri! You guilty?
Who dare accuse you?"
Then hesitating, and seeming to realize
the full situation of the wretched doom
that threatened her son, she exclaimed ;
"Oh, no, no! You are not guilty!
You .cannot be, you are so good and
true! There! there! 3s" ow you looked
J'ust as you used to, when on your knees
first taught you your little prayer in
pur dear old"
'Come, come, old woman, stand
aside and don't hinder us any Ionizer.
Tho young man is wanted yonder," said
ono of the officers, pointing toward the
court house.
"Oh, sir," said tho woman, "do you
not seo that his injured thot is inno
cent ? I know lie is!"
"How do you know that? Mnybo
you can swear for him," said tho omoer,
Kruflly.
" Because because I am his mother,
and and I taught him his prayer, and "
"Yes, ves. You ain't the first od
woman who liuu a bad boy lor a son.
Come on my covey. Monsieure lo Judgo
will seo to that."
Gaston's progress was arrested by this
pathetic scene. Deeply touched oy tho
appearance of tho mother and sou, ho
followed them to the court house, just
os they were about to ascend the steps
that led to tho court house, the young
man paused a moment.
"Mother," said he, is " M. Belot going
to undertake my'delenccf '
".Not unless we pay him in advance,
and and we have not got the money,
you know."
" Oh! God have mercy upon mc," ex
claimed tho young man, completely
breaking down.
" What shall I do?"
"Come along; don't stop to blubber
here. The Court will appoint some ono
to defend you."
He was soon seated in tho prisoner's
box to await the proceeding of Court.
The young lawyer followed the officer
into the court-room ond seated himself
behind the bar. After scanning moro
carefully the features of the prisoner, ho
said to himself: "If that young man is
guilty of any serious crime, then I am no
judge of features."
Presently the loud tap announced tho
approach of Monsieur le Judge.
" Ollicer," said the prosecuting lawyer,
" is Henry Gourard in court?"
"Ho is," was the reply.
"lias the prisoner counsel?" asked the
Judge.
"No, Monsieur; I expected M. Belot
to defend me, but he refuses now."
"Why does ho refuse?" asked the
Court.
"Because I have no money to pay him,"
was tho reply.
"Then, us you have no means to cm-
loy counsel, the Court will sec that you
lave counsel."
The judge now addressed a respectably-appearing
lawyer present, but he de
clined under the plea that he had pressing
business, The court then addressed
several other lawyers, with tho same re
sult. At this moment another lawyer
entered to whom the judge said:
" Monsieur Mordaunt, the court desires
you to undertake the defense of Henri
Gourard, the prisoner ut the bar."
"Ah, yes; your Honor can always com
mand my poor services; but in view of
the prisoner's means I mean the nature
of his great offense I think that he had
better plead guilty and be done with it."
A sob of deep, broken-hearted anguish
resounded through the court room ; it was
from the poor mother, who heard in this
the knell of her son's doom.
'' If the court please, I will undertake
the defense of the young man," said M.
Gaston, in a voice whose tones attracted
the attentiou of every one in the court
room.
With some surprise at the youth of the
young lawyer, the judge asked if he de
sired assistance, to which Gaston replied
that he would undertake the entire charge
of the defense.
The case was then adjourned one day
to give M. Gaston an opportunity to con
sult with the prisoner.
The prisoner was the only son of the
poor woman present, and she was a
widow. A few days before the commis
sion of tho crime with which he was
charged, he came to Paris for the pur
pose of obtaining employment. He soon
made the acquaintance of a very friendly
appearing man, who took much interest
in him, und kindly offered to assist him
iu obtaining employment. One evening
he was invited by his friend to accom
pauy him and examine some personal
property he had in the Hue Madeleine in
u certain building he had rented. Al
though it was Ojuite late, Henri assented.
On their way his friend overtook another
person with whom he was acquainted,
and whom he also invited. His friend
now informed him that he greatly de
sired to enter a building which he pointed
out, saying thut was his store, but as he
had forgotten his key he produced a
small iron bar whifh he handed to Henri,
telling him to pry open ono of tho shut
ters. In a moment tho young man un
derstood that ho was in the presence of
burglars, und, horror-stricken at the
thought, he attempted to run away; but
ere he had made two steps ho received a
heavy blow on the head which felled him
to the earth insensible.
When he returned to consciousness he
was iu the office of monsieur, the examin
ing magistrate. From tho testimony of
Kichet he learned that the building had
been broken open and entered, and that
M. Bertrand, the proprietor, had been
murdered. Of all that he knew abso
lutely nothing. The friendly person
whom he had started out with had made
his escape, whilo Kichet had been
captured.
The next morning the trial began.
The ex-galley slave repeated tho same
story thut he had originally told. On
the cross-examination by M. Gaston, how
ever, at first he sustained himself but at
length ho stumbled, hesitated, and be
came confused, aud it was evident that
his testimony was considerably shaken.
Tho chief clerk of the murdered man was
then put on tho stand, and to the ques
tions put by M. Gaston, it was learned
that no blood had been found on the
floor below the ono where M. Bertrand's
body was found, and where Kichet had
testified that the prisoner had struck bin
head on the counter,
Tho officer who first discovered the
prisoner testified that on the spot where
Goururd's head rested there was a great
pool of blood. M. Gaston then called
tho surgeon, who testified that the wound
on the head of Gourard could not have
been made os Kichet had sworn that it
was inflicted by a club or somo heavy
instrument.
With this evidence the young lawyer
rcBtcd his case, and it went to tho jury.
Tho jury retired, and after an hour's
absence returned into the court-room with
a verdict of not guilty. The great, tho
rich reward of M. Gaston was the almost
fruntic joy of the mother and son.
"The God of the widow ond orphan
has sent you to us, sir, in our distress, and
his blessing will descend upon you through
all your days."
"Borne clay I shall reword you," said
young Gourard. The glittering drops
which stood in his eyes evidenced his
great gratitude. And thus the mother
aud sou took their leave of their generous
benefactor.
Years rolled on; tho coup d'etat of
December 2, 1851, hud made and unmade
many. M. Pierre Gaston had devoted all
his energy and eloquence against the
usurper. But like many others, he had
been crushed. His great practice in the
law, that he had been years building up,
had been swept away, as had been his
fortune and his friends. As he sat ono
day in his own dingy office, pondering
over his misfortunes and crowding his
brain for some means to obtain a sufficient
sum w ith which to start again in life for
he was still a young man a gentlemanly
appearing man entered.
"Do you not remember mc, M. Gaston?"
" I do not," was the reply.
" My name is Gourard Henri Gourard
whom you once defended on a serious
charge in this city."
Another glance at the visitor convinced
Gaston that it was tho prisoner that he
had defended years ago.
Gourard then in a few words informed
his benefactor that he wns a well-to-do
merchant, that fortune had smiled udon
him and given him prosperity. After
conversing half an hour he rose to take
his leave.
"Here is a small package that my
mother, my wife and myself have made
up for you. Do not open it until I have
left. I trust that it will convince you
that my words to you have not been for
gotten. May God bless joul Good
bye." He was gone.
With trembling hands M. Gaston
opened tho package. It was with diffi
culty that he could suppress his emotion.
There, spread out on the table, were 5,000
francs.
"This is, indeed, a rich reward. In
turn I say, God bless the widow and or
phan." With this small fortune M. Gaston
soon built up his practice and regained
his friends among whom he cherishes
none dearer than Madame and Henri
Gourard.
Torpedoes.
David Bushnell, of Connecticut, was
the finst to introduce torpedo warfare on
our side of the water. One of Ins earliest
attempts was the famous "Battle of tho
Kegs," when he cast adrift from Borden-
town in 1777 a number of floating torpe
does in the shape of kegs for the purpose
of annoying the British shipping at
Philadelphia. The effect of his exper
iment, however, proved more amusing to
the Americans than disastrous to the
British. For the latter, fearing tho rapid
formation of tho ice, had warped in their
ships to the wharves, thii9 escaping Mr.
Bushnell s unfriendly designs. I he kers
were charged with gunpowder, and were
to fire and explode by a spring-lock
on touching the bottom of a vessel.
One which was taken up by the crew
of a bargo exploded, killing four of
the men and wouuding the rest.
The alarm of tho explosion set the whole
city in commotion. Soldiers and sailors
lined the wharves. Housekeepsrs and
children hurried to their homes for shel
ter. The British ran to their places of
muster; horns, drums, trumpets sounded
everywhere to arms, while cavalry and
horsemen added to tho din and noise by
dashing to and fro iu wild confusion.
The kegs themselves could not be seen
only the buoys which floated them were
above water so imagination ran riot.
They were kegs filled with rebels; the
points of their bayonets had been seen
sticking through the bungholes; they
were filledwith combustibles which would
turn the Delaware into a sheet of flame
and envelop all the shipping; they were
magic machines, which would mount tho
wharves and roll in flames into the city.
Tho firing was incessant, and the best
efforts of the officers and men
were concentrated upon 'every visi
ible floating stick or chip. Tho
story of the day has come down to us in
Francis Hopkinson's humorous song, en
titled "The Battle of the Kegs," of
which the following is an extract:
" Thwo kegs, I am told, the rebels hold,
Packed up like pickled herring,
And they've corns down to attack the town
In this new way of ferrying.
" The soldiers flew, the sailors too,
Aad, scared almost to death, sir,
Wore out their shoos and spread the news,
And ran till out of breath, eir.
" Arise, grise, Sir Erskine cries,
'The rebels, more s the pity,
'Without a boat are nil ailout,
And ranged before the city.'
" The royal ban 1 now rta ly stand
All ranged iu dread urray, sir,
With stomuch stout t see it out
Aud make a bloody day, sir.
" Such fiery feaUdid thoy perform '
Among thoae wicked kegs, sir.
That years to come, when they get home.
They 11 make their boast aud bra, sir."
John Simpson caught a buffUo fish j
weighing seventy-two pounds IU the
ennui in Louisville, Ky.
HEALTH HINTS.
Don't go to bed with cold feet.
Don't stand over hot air registers.
Don't lie on the left side too much.
Don't inhale hot air or fumes of an
acid.
Don't lie on tho back to keep from
snoring.
Don't eat what you don't want just to
save it.
Don't cat in less than two hours after
bathing.
Don't bathe in less than two hour9 after
eating.
Don't sleep in a room thut is not well
ventilated.
Don't eat tho smallest morsel unless
hungry, if well.
Don't start a day's work without eating
a good breakfast.
Don't eat anything but well-cooked
and nutritious food.
Don't take king walks when the stom
ach is entirely empty.
Don't sing or holloa when your throat
is sore or you are hoarse.
Don't wear tliin hose or light-soled
shoes in cold or wet weather-
Don't forget to take a drink of pure
water before breakfast.
Don't forget to cheer and gently
amuse invalids when visiting them.
Don't jump out of bed immediately on
awakening in the morning.
Don't strain your, eyes lv reading
on an empty stomach or when ill.
Don't eat between meals, nor enough
to cause uneaseness at meal-time.
Don't fill the gash with soot, sugar or
anything else to arrest tho hemorrhage
when you cut yourself but bring the
parts together with strips of adhesive
plaster.
Don't call on your sick friend and ad
vise him to take some other medicine,
get another doctor, eat more, eat less,
sit up longer, go out more frequently,
3tay a week and talk him to death before
leaving. And lastly, when ubout to
leave, don't say, "Well, I guess it's
about time I was going," and then hang
around half an hour before you know
how to get away, Say "good night,"
and go and bo done with it. Dr. Fvotc's
Health Monthly.
Cutting Marble Blocks.
Describing the Vermont marble quar
.ies a writer in Harper's Monthly says:
The marble is brought to the mills in
massive cubes, is sawed, turned, chiselled,
polished, mounted, and emerges as tomb
stones, capitals, cornices, columns, man
tel pieces and tuble tops. Much of this
work, especially the handwork, can, of
course, be studied in every place where
iieople die and have monuments set up
y the local stone cutter over their
graves, but the heavier preliminary labor
is nest to uo seen near the quarries
themselves.
The marble is delivered at the mills iu
elongated cubes parallelepipeds, I sup
pose Euclid would say from ten to fif
teen feet long and three to five feet
square, and placed on the frames for saw
ing. An expert will then decide as to
tho manner of reduction, that is, the
thickness and number of the slabs, 00
cording to tho quality, the shape and
size of the block, or the special nature of
the orders to be tilled. In outward ap
pearance a "gang," as a set of saws is
called, resembles the old-fashioned up
right sawmill, except that the vertical
Iranie contains not one but many saws,
arranged at different intervals, corre
sponding to the desired thickness of the
cuts. One process, therefore, divides
an entire block into slabs. The
saw has, it should be added, no
teeth. The cutting is tho joint effect of
the hard edge of the steel blade and the
wet sand which is fed into tho opening,
and thus produces an incisive friction. The
ordinary progress is about two and u half
inches an hour, and the gangs work night
and day. The polishing of small pieces
is done on a revolving iron disk some
twelve feet in diameter. The marble is
thrown upon this, and caught by fixed
wooden strips like the radii of a circle,
while the motion of the wheel, which is
supplied with sand und water, furnishes
the attrition. It takes two or three hours
to polish a surface down one inch. Heavy
pieces are smoothed by hand, withtheaid
of pumice-stone. Marble is turned into
circular shapes in a lathe, exactly like
iron, aud is bored with an ordinary dry
drill.
The German Emperor.
The vitality of the German emperor is
a source of unceasing astonishment and
admiration. He is now on his way to
eighty-seven thirteen years older than
his great ancestor, "Old Fritz," when
that monarch's tough constitution broke
down under the weight of years und the
cares of government and his life has
been one of tho most wearing activity.
Yet he was on horseback last Saturday'
despite the weather, for three hours, and
the next day he was busy all day in dis
charging various formal functions of
royalty. In face of this marvelous und
sustained vigor it needs the emperor's
own words iu his touching address to
the fourth army corps to remind the
world how close ho necessarily is to the
end of his extraordinary career: "It was
a joy and honor to me," lie says, "to
see the army corps once more. Probably
it is the last time. At my ago one makes
no plans." Yet tho event which the
emperor looks so steadfastly in tho face
will make the greatest changes, perhaps,
in the foreign und certainly in the domes
tic relations of his empire. By no career
of our time has tho immense, importance
of the personal clement in politics been
morn clearly illustrated. J(U M'-tll
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
An international society of electricians
has been formed in Paris," its chief object
being to promote the development of
electrical science and its applications.
Professor P. Denza has made a series
of magnetic observations extending
through twenty solar and lunar eclipses.
His results indic ate that eclipses have no
influence upon the earth's magnetism.
At Oakland, Cal,, the iron dust, creat
ed by the Pacific Nail works, amounting
to five tons a day, is now utilized and
twenty-live per cent, of it made into
steel by tho same process that black sand
is manufactured into that metal.
Observations made last year by Lieut.
Gen. Sheridan indicate that the power
of the Yellowstone Geysers has uoi dimin
ished since 1872, when they were care
fully surveyed by Dr, A. C.'Peale. Two
new geysers of considerable importance
have oppcared since that time.
Pork worms are not quickly destroyed
by salt. In experiments by Mons. Collin
the trichina; in the superficial parts of
hams, etc., survived iu tho brine for fif
teen days, while in a heavy ham tho
parasites were not all killed until tho
meat had been immersed in brino for
two months.
A method of adulterating milk by add
ing to it a solution of commercial glu
cose has been exposed by Mons. Krechel
in a communication to tho French Acad
emy of Sciences. As tho solution has
the density of good milk the adultera
tion is not detected by the ordinary test
ing instruments. ,
Alcohol has been shown by Mons.
Muntz to be very widely diffused in na
ture. It exists in all water, except that
from very pure springs. Rain and snow
are not free from it, "and it is probable
that the air contains much of it in tho
state of vapor. Poor soil yields traces
of it, and rich mould has a considerable
quantity.
Mr. Lacy's Adventures.
History is incurably apt to repeat itself
olike in its gayest and ghastliest episodes.
Most of us are familiar with the story of
the tipsy Englishman in the streets of
Paris, who was knocked down by the
shafts of a passing cabriolet, stunned,
picked up for dead and taken to the
mprgue, where in the middle of the night
he awoke to consciousness to find him
self reposing on a huge slab of slate in a
state of nature, and in the very dismalist
of conceivable company. The pointofthe
story lies in the circumstance that the
keeper of tho morgue, roused by tho
shouts of the resuscitated Englishman,
politely but resolutely declined to allow
him to leave the establishment. "Ho
had given," he said, "a receipt for mon
sieur's corpse to the proper authorities,
und a corpse monsieur must remain till
the morning." It was with the greatest
difficulty that this conscientious stickler
for legal formalities was at last persuaded
to allow his exceptionally noi.-y guest to
resume his attire, and sit by the tire in
the porter's lodge during the remainder
of the night. A closely analogous story
has been reported from Chicago, whera
man named Lacy entered a tram
way car, aud, refusing to pay his fare,
was "chucked" off the platform into tho
street by the conductor. The prostrate
Lacy being perfectly insensible, the police
patrol was called, and the supposed
corpse wus placed iu a wagon und re
moved to the city morgue, where, in ac
cordance with American mortuary prac
tice, it was placed on ice. The police
then went iu search of the delinquent
ond lugitive tram-car conductor, but in
a short time the body' of Lacy began to
show signs of life-, and in the course of
half an hour was so far recovered as to
be able to wulk to the police station. A
medical examination proved that he was
not seriously hurt, and that his tempo
rary coma was due solely to liquor.
AVhen, however, it is remembered that
Chicago is rather a roughly paved city,
it may bo permissible to favor the hy
pothesis that tho " chucking off" the car
platform into the street may have had
something to do with tho temporary,
suspension of vitality in the case of Lacy
His striking experience of his icy couch
in the Chicago dead house should cer
tainly induce Mr. Lacy to "swear oil"'
from all fermented beverages for tho re
mainder of his natural life. London
Ttltgraph.
Irrigation on a Large Scale.
The most gigantic irrigation enterprise
ever inaugurated in the htato of Califor
nia has been commenced in Fresno
county, the canal for which will be tho
largest in the State, and fed by King's
liver. The water is intended to irrigate
SO, 000, 000 acres of rich land, ut present
barren through lack of wuter. The
source of supply of this canal will be
higher than any other debouching from
the same stream. Its dimensions lire:
Ono hundred feet in width ut the bottom ;
levees an overage of fifteen feet iu
height und eight feet wide ut the top,
broad enough for a wagon road. The
depth of tho water is expected
to be five feet with a fall of eighteen
inches to the mile. The dam in the
mountain canon, whence the water is
taken, will be a wonderful and permanent
one. It is twenty-live feet high, eight
hundred feet long, one hundred und
forty feet wide at the base and twenty
live feet wide on top. It is rip-rapped
on the inside with heavy rock, and ecry
precaution, taken to make it sufficiently
strong to securely hold the great weight
of water that must be supported. Tho
water is led into the canal from a largo
headgate, constructed f heavy timber,
one hundred feet in width und eighteen
feet high. It is plunked over so as to
make abridge for heavy wagons, and has
wings to protect it from the floods. The
cunul is expected to curry thirteen hun
dred cubic feet of wuter per second,
Lvt A"(tlt JIfiM.
OUR DEAD DARLINGS,
Littlo graven lie in the sunshine,
And little heads rest in peace,
But loving hearts keep on grieving
With a 1 oin that will not cease,
Draniing of tho dear departed
Forgetting thoir joys increase.
Ah! how we brontl over life's crosses,
And how we niensure its sorrow,
Dreaming not that this day's losses
May change into gain to-morrow.
Would we wish our darlings living?
And to be as wo have been?
To sleep on a tcar-wet pillow,
And mourn over woes unseen.
Are they not far bettor waiting
Vnder their coverlids green f
They till miss life's weary crosses
They never will taste its sorrow ;
They will sleep through its cares aud losses
And wake on a fair to-morrow.
S'eep on, little darlings, soundly!
The purer the -ed we sow,
In the spring of God's hereafter
The brighter the flower will grow
Heaven must surely be sweeter,
The I018 of earth's sin we know.
How grand the change from life's crosses-
From the friction of its sorrow;
To a land ne'er n:arked with losses
Where love waits for no to-morrow.
Wm. Lyle.
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
How singular that a
should come 4 th.
baby's 1st 2th
A tramp called his shoes corporations
because they had no soles. Merchant
Traveler.
Do clothes make the man ? My son,
they do. . They make him mighty bash
ful of his tailor. llmckcye.
An exchange remarks that the moon is
just right for buggy riding. No doubt
it is, but tho average young man prefers
to ride with a pretty girl. Burlington
Free 1'rcKS.
"A new industry in Norway is the can
ning of whales." It is not stated how
many whales are packed in each can;
but we shouldn't think the number was
over four. XorrUtoicn Jleraldf
A Georgia man had every hair of his
head taken off by an electric bolt during
a thunder storm. A Philadelphia man,
hearing of this, said he knew now why
his wile's first name was Electra. Phila
delphbi Call.
"Did you give Johnny the medicine,
Mr. Brown?" asked the doctor. "Oh,
yes, doctor," replied the loving mother;
and then sho added innocently, "and it
don't seem to have done him the least
harm. Somenille Journal.
Auti-vivisectionists argue that it gives
an oyster acute pain to open its shell
with a knife. Let us then sing to the
tender bivalve, und when he gazes at U9
in open-mouthed wonder we can kill him
with a club. Xt w York Commercial.
Herbert Spencer says Americans are so
driven by business that they never stop
to leisurely examine anything. Guess ho
never saw 500 or 000 Americans stand
ing around for two hours watching three
men raising on office safe to a fourth-story
window. Boat on Ganttc.
"Have you brought your gimlet with
you?'' "Hush, Johnny," said Mrs.
Yerger. " Go to bed, sir,!'remarked Col.
Yerger. " What do you mean ?" asked
Gus. "I don't mean nutlin; except I
heard pa say you were coming up this
evening to bore us all." Texas Siflings.
The awful prevalence of pie in this
co uitry is illustrated by the remark sent
to the I)mrer by a grandfather, proud of
iiii grandchild of three years who is vis
iti lg him. Enthroned in her high chair,
sh s waited at table for the appearance of
the dessert. The family pie was duly set
before grandma, und baby's eyes were
directed that way, when a small pie
made for her majesty was flipped before
her. Equal to tho occasion, her eyes
dancing with delight, she burst out with,
"Oh, auntie, I'm mamma of this pie!"
Harper's Draiccr.
Simply because a Dayton, Ohio, father
used a horsewhip when he remonstrated
with a young man for hanging on his
front g Ue, the young man has brought
suit for damages, to find by what right
the father objected to his swinging on
the gate with his daughter. The old man
was right. He knew that the gate-swinging
season was passed, and that the
young man was in danger of catching
cold in the head. Then, w hen he came to
help burn the oil and coal this winter,
his pesky snuffing and nose-blowing
would keep the indulgent father awake
all night. The father was right in pro
tecting himself. Pick's Hun.
It is simply impossible for a fat man
to be a real dude. He may sport the
regulation collar; ho may wear coats so
short that his vest shows beneath it, but
he can't bo a successful dude. A dude
must have thin leg:-f
11 pineapple. Ho 117
hind his ears and ;
them. Now a fat
rotund youth, cat;
specifications. 1
'lead shaped like
ivo dimples be
enough to hide
i-hubby, plump
swer to these
'"iitok sad and
Jjjiound to per-
7-1 o get red in
77'. A dude
8 'P, jthose other J
Con,. . uVrod
vacant and bilio
spire 111 weathey
I lie
face and
never perspire
things, i Iu
toned up, alw
Uans limit
111 i t
-".(TOIlS
Why Drlv
tarv.
Henry Gr;
AW :1C0.
t tt ut kiii ; M
the followi
7, ,'ippoinled
custom
road :
ad: L
mal Vi:J
USI
driver
that h
with
each
of
thut 1
V
f
und t
V