. vv.'t.v v. .71-?, rf.',.nV--r v.-. vf;;-. ,., ,v RATES OF ADVERTISING. I t'W tiu !t. Itow y the i-rv 1.. tif . ited. , i TVT ATi-I n v-. I'blKS ill! IM. 4 elided -LaUrcli HMccal i HaVin I Hr. Stt bounoo ri i in d i('a 'llaslmdl tho piaca tmtfxt le' opin cul If act) Toriim i Co lie -lW;iK jiiW ; ,..'. ' - . ' : . . f ljacVtYVttUM from all psrUof tbf ' JJ'wi..itl'jU tehtn of aumiTrnoiu) ' '5' ' '?)''V.r")"''!''1'?'i ''' '''"'''''' ' ' ' , '': Hlowm beptr't'fitjij; Tsian sky;; . i Lu'jjti ' i,:: ' . . Npf with tlw.iia yrVttr' .: ' Blie loTed n 8V'n4'l,WdA BuUrfly. ,. '. Ancl who ahonld know, ITRbfAs do not knowj Cupid's own fet o-day Uia mystio algn t i So to tho NiK)!lii(inU',i-iJ: . i .. She told hor BiRhing uh "' 4!n bade him Ring her lore Chin valontino: . angel Rose, Oh,.Wondrotu flower with wingn, ' . f'.'l ' ' '. Whoe golden petals ronm the warm awoet air, Here on my conotant tree I blush and wait for then, 1 Thin who art so divinely free and fair. f ree to come ajnd go, while I mant watoh i'Jir hnppy visits, all too nhort and rare, - Drenminj, in waiting bliss, Of thy Inst tender kir-s, Wlhile thou art straying amid blossoms fair. "Jiuht in my Rone heart thou alone art kine. "MyV bright-winged love, fairer than all fair ' ji things 1 , By me take root, I prayj- 'I Ori f Ihou "y away, Let me go with thee: give thy Rose, love, (i wings." ilaryi A. Barr. CLE ISRAEL'S MONEY. w - wM r'Tha trutli is," said Mrs. Creamor, re really but ono rosource, I1'. Both her daughters looked up ex- yff;ewutiyT-tYvo lairly bred and very b n Mr.' eirh ohei. tho vouneer. with '.tin'ftularjy jitricero and beautiful gray r.Tye ami jus. reiiintr conclUiJod her ;7tenmrks: ., - . Andjhat is .njjjtTnfle Israel!" ;-) " Wio .. "in .the world Is that, i jnararuar. aKwr Arabella, wno was L Mack-eyed'and a little, arrogant-look- , .nig. . ' . l V My Uncle Israel Stopford, of Hogg "Horrible!" " But he is rich, my dear; at least fwe Have always Bupposed so. And i Hoggville is really a very pretty place, in BpitAof Its name. We must eo there oh a visit and perhaps he will do . i.tometlunfl; for us, Arabella lookod up; her sister Mil- lool . hands w looked down. Mildreds white ere .occupied with a bit of sewing; Arabella's, covered with jew i I9. were rocked idly on her silken lap. v , ' He ought, I am sure," continued -fiirs. creamer, "ilo was my lather s I . w. J""" -"J I " "IIUllUlUVl UIUII1U leducated my sister for teaching,,and ei my oroiner tip in Dusiness, wnue he never did anything for me." " Uut you said you married as soon .Tyoitr father died, mamma, said Mil lr.d. - - " So I did," assented the elder lady. .Mildred silently continued sewing "Jia my brother and sister had not di'ji they might lie of some assistance tus," remarked tho mother. A little colov, which had been rising slowlj to Mildred's pure chce't, lmrned quite distinctly there now ; bt ill she dux not speaK. " To think your father should have JAiI'aiI tvhf'Tl bia niVnirj wwn in midi nn M'jrtiwful stlito !" sighed Mrs. Creamer, ." jv. iiing her eyes with her lace )i:i:id- mefriierchier. Arabella looked dolefully at the win dow, against which the cold s;:ring , ' I mother a cup of tea, and took it to the sofa. "Don't worry, mamma," she said, cheerfully. ' f '! "How can I help it, Mildred, with ir'71"' . never enter society now, J am afraid." 4 'ititl Well. I don't care, mamma." 1 .. .. i'on i care, .mikiitu r " Xo, mamma, I'm .sure I don't. I'll do very well, 1 assure you, without being, put on Mrs. llcncral Nobody's visiting list. " Mildred, I do not like to hear you make such remarks." "Mil alwavs was odd," remarked -f-H Arabella. . Mw1! In a month tho distraeted affairs of 1 I ll, .,1.. ...,. o . II In, I .,,,.1 IVw, Creamers were en routo for vilie. Hogg- ' I'll leave tho train at this side the. llnrMj u tint tv v- i'nr4 station and walk over," threatenod f Arabella. jfl. Hut Hoggville was serenelv pretty ggvuio was serenelv pretty and undeniably prosperous, and Ara bella bccannyonsiderably mollified. "Hoes yoifr uncle live in any of thoso prettv villas, mamma?" "No, my dear, I think ho still lives at the old place. An old place, certainly, set back, just at the crossing of two roads, in an emerald held, and draped with wood bine and elm boughs. 'Oh, how lovely!" cried Mildred. " But it isn't a bit stylish," said Ara bella. " I don't believe Uncle Israel is rt-vlish," returned Mildrei He was not a plainly-dressed, clean, tindly old man, setting out tomato plants in aside garden. Mildred thought him a picture of healthy and virtuous old age. Ara bella looked askance at his overalls. " I'm very fund of gardening. take great pleasure in 'green thiiiK growing,' as M i.-.s Mill ii nays. lint 1 don't expi'i't everybody else to rido v.C:-.V.---. :0M my holtry. So, if you ladles will come in-, I wid make myself presentable and watt upon you ia a few mo ments." ' k" .!" How odd !" said Arabella. " Who Ih his liousekeeper, mamma t" " I don t know." It soon appeared, when Uncle Israel hung up their wraps in a wardrobe, and brought them a repast of very good coffee, crackers and cheese, on a little tray, for lunch, that he hadn't any. "I had a very good one, but she be came old and feeble and unable to work. A woman comes twice a week from tho village, washes, Irons, cleans ana bakes for ine; the rest of the time I manage to serve myself." "How actually dreadful, uncle Is rael, for a man as rich as you are to live that way I" exclaimed Mrs. Crea mer. " I'm old-fashioned, need little, and do not like uncongenial people about me. I do very well," he answered, mildly, looking observantly at the lady. " Ain't you lonely?" asked Mildred, a little timidly. " No," he answered, with a smile in his blue eyes; and rising, ho unclosed the door of a very pleasant library, holding hundreds of books. "I have my garden, my books, and my neigh bor, Mr. Helorme." "Who is that?" "My minister." Then ho begged Ids niece to tell him ot lierseir. Ihis the lady was very ready to do, and when the story was told lie proposed that the three spend a few months with him, and he would think how lie could best assist them. " Ho is nice, isn't he, BellV" asked Mildred, as the two sisters unthreaded their braids at bed-time. " Oh, I don't know; It depends, you know," yawned Bell. "It's going to bo awful poky here, isn't it?" " Do you think so ?, I don't. There's a beautiful fruit and flower-garden, and the books, you know." "I don't care for books. I shan't stay hero one minute longer than I can help." Fortunately for her tastes, Arabella was able to terminate her visit at the end of a week. Uncle Israel gave his niece one hundred dollars, and pro posed that one of her daughters make it her permanent homo wit h him. " It won't be me !" exclaimed Ara bella. "And that is all he is going to do for us ? How mean !" " Beggars musn't bo choosers," sighed Mrs, Creamer. "I think Unelo Israel is perfectly right," said Mildred. "I don't see why three perfectly health v women should depend on anybody for a living. For my part, I can maintain myself ; and I choose to stay here. It's a good, pleasant home, and needs :v woman's hand. I can make myself usifulhere, and shall try to be contented. You and Bell can visit among papa's rela tions, mamma, and perhaps you can find her a rich husband. I will do without a husband for the present, unless ho finds me here." " You'll be an old maid," warned Bell. "Then I'll be as nice a ono as ever I can." Mrs. Creamer was rather glad of Mildred's choice. It lessened her cares and expenses. At least, it s tho best we can do for the present," she said. "I 'hear there is a party of very nice people at the Springs, and if I should be so for-. tunate as to find a good match for Bell tli is summer, I'll take vow in .hand. You're younger, you knawrMillyi?.' ' But Mildred was not li t'ljrmg.. 'She was already looking id w rit1 new do main with the evo of iAistrw. Mrs. (.'reamer and AyWfliv set forth, commencing a kind iffsjiomad exist ence for the Hummer; and Mildred, to Uncle Israel's secret satisfaction, be came housekeeper at the homestead. The hou?c was well furnished with what was serviceable and good, and Mildred's tasteful hands daily drew from it unexpected possibilities. Old vases came out of hidden nooks and were filled with flowers ; old carpets came up, the floors were stained and polished, and bright drug gets put down; and when Mildred had been at work a few weeks tho rather lorlorn kitchen shone like a rising star. Old Judy's instructions were such as she hail never had before. "You ae expecting company to supper, Miss Mildred?" she asked, one day, when the young lady, having fin ished the most delicious of macaroons, insisted upon having the loaf cake frosted. "Yes. Undo Israel will be here," answered Mildred, with a smile. U did her good to see how pleased Uncle Israel was at having everything nice. Without disturbing his habitual serenity, she had worked all her changes so that the transformation had the effect of magic. He said little, but she knew that he relished the dainty cookery, liked the flowers on his reading-table and by his plate, and enjoyed the freshness and brightness. His btrV.'.Ui seemed restored and she found hiv,i ;l .lehghthil companion and the kindest ot guardia vs. "Do you know how to do every TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1883. thing J ts Wkei, one day when, hav ing varnished the dining-room chairs, completed a set of shirts, assorted a chest of magazines and baked a tur key to perfection, she found for hiin a missing volume on floriculture. " No sir I don't know how to make butter." "And would you like to learn?" " I would, I think." Her answer seemed to afford Uncle Israel particular glee. He laughed softly a long time, rubbing his hands. ' Well, well, well ! Old Judy shall show you. We will have a dairy. I should like nothing better. I will buy the two nice Jerseys Mr. Jones offered me last wek. But I am very par ticular about my butter. That is the reason I seldom eat any bought by the grocer. Do you think you can suit ine " 1 will try. But I have a condition to propose, sir." "What is that?" "That I may be allowed to sell but ter enough, after your table is supplied, to provide me with pocket money." " Bless me, child ! don't you use tho money in your workbasket?" For every week since her install ment at the homestead, Mildred had found a crisp greenback laid among her spools of cotton, as the little basket sat upon the sitting-room table. "No, sir; I have used it for things about the house. I don't want you to give me money for my fall things. I prefer to earn them." " What an independent little womnn it is ! But do as you like, my dear--just as you like." So Mildred had her own way, and bought her a new dress, and framed her blooming face in the prettiest of winter bonnets. The Bev. Mr. Delorme had returned from the Northern trip which had kept him absent from home all the summer. He was very wise, Mildred had heard; she thought lie would be very old. But he was barely thirty two, with the most wonderful of faces she had ever seen, she thought so loftily handsome, so luminous with thought. " How do you like him, my dear?" asked Uncle Israel, as they wanked home from church. " I think he is beautiful! I never saw such a man." "Nor I," said Uncle Israel. "He is coming to take tea with us," he added, after awhile. Mildred congratulated herself that the cake and macaroons were quite perfect; and then her thoughts strayed to her mamma's last letter. My dear,", wrote Mrs. Creamer, " I have at last selected a suitable parti for Bell. He is a minister belonging to one of the first families in New York, a perfect gent'.eman, and very engaging, lie is wealthy, but gives away nearly all his income. I think a wife's influence might alter that. Bell don't quite like the idea of his being a minister, but allows that his manners are lovely, and has been really im pressed by his beautiful conversation. lie would improve her temper very much, I think, if I could bring it about. He has been at the Springs this summer, but has a call to New York, and wo shall meet him there this winter. I really don't know where he is now, as he left the Springs unex pectedly yesterday; but I have en gaged him for a correspondence and shall hear from him soon." As lie had promised, Mr. Delorme came to tea, and, when Mildred had become a little acquainted, she learned that he -had been at the Springs; so she naturally asked him regarding tho gentleman engaged in the ministry, who had been paving attentions to her sister Bell during the summer. Bjtt Mr. Delorme appeared unable to ;gtve her the desired information. ' . ' ' Ho ate her macaroons, sinelled her flowers, praised her butter, and so evi dently found her acquaintance a pleas ure that a responsive happiness made quiet Mildred quite irresistible. Uncle Israel appeared pleased by the young people's mutual satisfaction, and left them to chat over their favor ite poetry while he mused by the open lire. It was late in the evening before Mr. Delorme went to his boarding place, and Mildred went up to her chamber with throbbing pulses and rosy cheeks. "I hope Bell's minister is half as nice," was her last sigh upon her pil low. It was fated, I think, that Mildred and Mr. Delorme should fall in love with each other, as of course they did. But Mildred made bread and butter, and kept her plants blooming just the same, and Mr. Delonno was very busy among his parishioners, who loved him very much, but whom lie was soon to leave. Uncle Israel came into the kitchen, one day, after the churning. "This is my favorite milking pan," lie said, having taken up one, and weighed it thoughtfully between his hands, and seeming to consider its ca pacity ho walked away with it. It was an odd thing to do, but Mil dred did not notice it. She was think ing of something else. She beat and salted her butter, with a smile, and stamped it with a song upon her lips. V Mr. Delorme had asked the momentous question, and she had given the happy answer. All this had happened the previous evening, and the world seemed all brightness to Mildred. Spring came . again. Uncle Israel took a .sudden cold in tho east wind. A sharjtf.tt.lrk of -pneumonia followed. In spifiifof . the tender care orthe two wholotpd Kiln bst, and the utmost ef forts of tWjb'rhysiclan, he sank rapidly. In the last hours he took Mildred's hands. "Dear child," he said. "I think that you have found that the nearest path was the path of duty. I am glad that it has proved so happy a one for my beloved girl. Arthur!" Mr. Delorme lifted him, but his dis tress was too great to allow of more words. As it abated he passed away. Mrs. Creamer and Bell were sum moned. They would not come until after the funeral and reading of the will. " To my dearly-beloved friend and spiritual adviser, Arthur Delornie, my house; to my nie-ja Mildred, all that it contains, and I recommend to her spe cial attention my favorite milk-pan." Mrs. Creamer came. "The man was craz!" she cried " Whoever heard of nnything so ab surd?" " And he's left j'ou nothing but a lot' of old-fashioned furniture, Mil !" said Bell. "Wonderfully rich man, he was !" 'Where is the milkpan?" asked Mrs. Creamer. They looked in all suitable places for the milkpan, but it was not to be found. Then they looked in the li brary and under the beds. At length Mildred raised tho cover of an old chest in Uncle Israel's cham ber. There stood the milkpan in the bottom of the empty chest, filled with money. "Hundreds and thousands of dol lars!" screamed Mrs. Creamer. I don't dare to tell you how many, but they were all Mildred's. Then Mr. Delorme came in and wa presented ns Mildred's affianced. Bell and her mother turned nil colors. The plans of women as well as mice and men were " all agley;" but they pre served a discreet silence for awhile. But at the wedding Bell said: "He was the one. you know, Mil, though I can't say he ever gave mt any reason to suppose It was all mother's work. And lie's too nice foi me. I don't like such mild-mannered men. Tom Buckingham has twice as much Uash now." And Tom Buckingham soon dashed off with Arabella. As for Mildred, she happily married her heart's choice and removed to New York, where the Bev. Arthur Delorme is to-day a useful, respected and bo loved friend of his people; but every summer they come for rest and ro freshment to Hoggville, and tho ole milk-pan is stored among their trea sures. Rats and Cats and Puppies for He :. In Canton, writes a traveling minis ter, we visited a restaurant wher cats,, rats and dogs were served l'o food. Dog steak, tried rat or cat stew were to be had at any hour. It hai been often denied, and manyal'iirmtha it is only ono of the old lYter Parley'' stories, that the Chinese eat thes things. But it is true. AVe ;.aw whole puppy stewing in a large kettle We saw a table full of men satisfying their hunger with dog meat, and the) ate with u hearty relish. We saw cats and pups in cages for sale, and rats hung up waiting for purchasers. The dishes looked savory, and the price of a meal was "dog-cheap," but we did not indulge in any "bow-wow" soup, or feline steak, or rodent pot-pic, Wo weren't hungry just then. The Celestials will tell you "rat number one good eatee," and show you rats skinned, rats salted, rats dried, rats hung up by the tails, and rats strung on strings. If you doubt the gen uineness of the article the proprietor will show you the meat with the hair and tail attached for identification. Cat meat is said to be a line tonic, and rat is good for bald-headed men. Pup pics and kittens are generally pre ferred; 'old dogs and torn cats are apt to bo rather tough. Black cats are supposed to bo more nutritious than w hite ones, hence the following adver tisement seen in the shop window : "Black cats served hot at all hours, also snakes, rats and dogs." A Kose That Is All the Itagc. The " Nancy Lee " rose is taking us by storm. In color deep pink of that shade seen in sticks of wintergreen candy a silvery bloom upon it, of fair size and exquisite fragrance. Samuel Pa.'Sons, in his late work upon the rose, traduces the N ancy Lee. He says it is " moderate or dwarf and not vig orous," while Peter Henderson, who is authority upon flower-growing, pro nounccs'the Nancy Lee as "flowering as freely as the t-a varieties." This charming rose has not as yet been thrown upon tho market, us only a few plants are yet in possession of out plantsmen. New York Commercial. Gladstone has J.r.,Ui hi salary ; the expense of royalty to the English peo ple is r, .000,000 a year. $1.50 PER ANNUM. SELiXT sirnxt;s. In olden times lord mayors were not allowed to go more than five miles from London. The albatross the great, sea-bird of the Southern ocean and North Pacific seldom, if ever, flops his wings in flying. In the South Kensington museum at London is a small watch about 100 years old, representing an apple, the golden case ornamented with grains of pearl. An old law in Holland condemned criminals to be wholly deprived of salt as the severest punishment in that moist country. The effect was that they were a prey to internal parasites. It i.s stated that a short time ago while getting out stone in his quarry a mile south of Kokomo, Ind., a man Fplit a massive slab and found im bedded in the solid rock a lizard of a light color, alive and active. An enormous crab lias lately come into the' possession of the British museum. Its habitat is Japan. It measures ten feet between the tips of the claws, but has a comparatively small body of a triangular shape. The claws, including the pinchers, are six feet in length. There is a colored girl in Holmes county, Miss,, who is halt white and half black. Her nose, ears, eyes and parts of the chin are white and the rest of her face black. Her hands are small and shapely, like those of a white woman. The girl is twelve years old, and it is said the white is spreading. Her mother, a pure negro, has four other children, all of whom are black. Ilaroun al Baschid, the principal hero of "The Arabian Nights Enter tainments," sent to Charlemagne, in tho eighth century, a water-clock, in the dial of which a door opened at each hour, and when at noon the twelve doors were thrown open, as many knights on horseback issued out, paraded, round the dial, and then, re turning, nliut themselves in again. Among some of fie tribes in Africa, if two babies come to a family at the same time they think it a "drpadful thing. Nobody except the family can go into the hut where they were born, nor even use any of the things in it. The twins cannot play with other children and the mother cannot talk to any one outside of the family. This is kept up for six years. If the babies live to be six years old, the restrictions are removed and they are treated like other children. There is a curious clock in Japan. This clock, in a frame three feet high and five feet long, represented a noon landscape of great loveliness. In the foreground were plum and cherry trees in full bloom, in the rear a hill gradual in descent, from which flowed a cascade admirably imitated in crystal. From this plant a thread-like stream glided along, encircling in its windings rocks and tiny islands, but presently losing itself in a far-oil stretch of woodland. In tho sky turned a golden sun, in dicating as it passed the striking hours, which were all marked upon tho frame below, where a slowly-creeping tortoise served as a hand. A bird of exquisite plumage, resting by its wings, pro claimed tho expiration of each hour. When tho song ceased a mouse sprang from a grotto near by, and, running over the hill, hastily disappeared. WISE WOKDS. By taking revenge a man is but eyen with his enemy; but in passing it over lie is superior. Biches are given to make life pass comfortably; but life is not given only to mass riches. Each man is a hero and an oracle to somebody, and to tnat person whatever he says has an enhanced value. Tlie discovery of what is true and the practice of what is good are the two most important objects of life. To-morrow's fate thoue'u tho'i be wise, Thou canst not tell nor yet surmise; 1'iihs, therefore, not to-day ia vuin, For it will never come nguin. Ho who is false to present duty breaks a flaw in the loom, and will find the flaw when they have forgotten tho cause. Power, in its quality and degree, is the measure of manhood. Scholarship, 3ave by accident, is never the measure of a man's power. A cheerful temper, joined with inno cence, will make beauty attractive, knowledge delightful, and wit good natured. If you want to gain a reputation for eccentricity, and to be universally dreaded, if not hated, blurt out the plain truth on all occasions. Adversity has ever been considered as the stale in which a man most easily becomes acquainted with him self, particularly, being free from flat terers. When fate has allowed to any man more than one great gift, accident or. necessity seems usually tocontrive that one shall incumber and impede the other. Ir. every man's cup, how bitter so ever.there are some cordial drops, some good circumstances, and which, if wisely extracted, are sufficient to mukf him contented, and, if not happy, at bust resit'iicd. One Square, one Inch, one insertion.. One Square, one inrh, om month.... On Nnnarr, one inrn, inrrm iim.u . . One Si"Hre, one inrh. one yea Two hipisre, nut year (Jnnrtrr Column, one year i W , is eo UM ,10 M Half Column, one rear... One Column, one year Igal notioes at established rate. Marriage and death notioee fratie. All billB for yearly advertisements eoUeotM quarterly. Temiorary advertisement mwet lie paid in advance. Job work, cash on delivery. Manitoba. Oh, neighbors, neighbors, lonse yon 1 Qnickp My hearth is emp'y and forlorn. My heart is empty, faint and sick, For John came dragging home at morn Two frozen limbs, and oh I and oh I My boy left buried in the snow I Nay, blame not John. The day was wili With driving snow that drowned his face. The hidden sleigh now holds my child, The horse stands frozen in the place. Come, noighbors, quick ! Be not so slow My boy lies buried in the snow. The snow is frozen ; follow me ! Like ice this gleaming sea of snow, And far across the frozen sea The mound where he is lying low. Oh, like to gold his hoir; his eyes Were bits of yonder bluest skies. I clad my boy as best I had. The sleigh sped ringing toward the mill. My boy I my poor, lost farmer lad 1 Oh, that I had you with me still ! Why, I would givo these snowy lands To knit two mittens for his hands. But, neighbors, neighbors, here 1 Behold . This monnd of snow, this broken place 1 A sweet face ill a sheen of gold t Two blue eyes laughing in my face t My boy, my boy, safe, sound and well, Breaks like some cickcn from his shell ! Joaquin Miller. HUMOR OF THE DAY. Always bent on shooting A bow. An international air The wind. Hatters are the people oftenest caught napping. "Tales for the Marines" are now published sea-rially. . The dancing master's motto Beware of the first wrong step. Barber "How will you have your hair cut, sir?" Man in chair "In silence." Boston Transcript. lie that is in trade is wise all his goods to advertise, for that is the rea son why half the people come and buy. Nantucket has a girl pilot only seven teen years old. Boston Adrertiter. And we'll wager that she is familiar with every buoy on the sound. Breik- mn lijr JStirs. . An editor wrote a headline, " A Hor rible Blunder," to go over a railway accident, but thought it avius the print er's fault that it got over the account of a wedding. As matters are going in this coun try just now, we think seriously of ob taining pensions for the chairs of our otlice, as many of tlnni have lost a leg in the service. Lowrll Citizen. A new club in New York is callc I " The Growlers." It is supposed to be composed of married men who have to wait livo minutes- when they go home for dinner. Norristown Herald. A peddler moy understand euchre and whist, And for handling the cards have a knack; But, pray, do not think him a gambler be. cause He is found at all times with a pack. Statesman. At a restaurant. Diner "Here, waiter, I say, confound it, this garni is too much so !" Waiter, blandly " Beg pardon, sir, but you're mistaken, sir. It's the other gentleman's fish at the next table, sir." Quiz. Inexperienced shootist " Dear me ! I made sure I'd killed at least ono of those birds, yet see, yonder, away they soar." Keeper " I doan't think they be sore, zur, for they doan't look as if yew'd wounded of 'em much." Lon don Fun. "What idiot has carried off mv pen?" exclaimed an Austin lawyer, case in angrily, during the trial of a tho district court. "Colonel, you have got it behind your ear," remarked one of the lawyers. "Just where I thought it was." Texas Mftiny. " You say your wife gets mad and raises a row ?" " I should say she did. She makes enough fuss to run a freight train forty miles an hour." " But if you knew she was in the habit of get ting mad, why did you marry her?" " Because if 1 had held back she would have got madder than ever." If a man desires to express himself logically, he must not allow himself to become "flurried, as was the case with an Austin man, who was very much annoyed by frequent callers, and who finally exclaimed: " There is no min ute in the day that I can have a quiet half hour to myself." tiiftinys. The Iowa Falls Smtim l s:ys: "There is not a single woman on the platform of female suffrage who has a happy family of husband and children not one."" AVt 11, we should say not. When the editor of the Xmtinel can explain Low other "single women" have happy families of "husband and children," people will be ready to listen to his views on woman suffrage and it meas ureless horrors. Burlinyton llawktye. Next to the Arabian, who comes down to us through the line of clumsy verse, the Arkansaw man entertains the highest regard for his horse. The other night a gentleman ran in great haste for a doctor, and, gaining audi ence with the physician, said: "My wife is mighty sick, and my horse, too, is powerful bad off. How much do you charge a visit?" "Two dollar?." Wall, I ain't got but three dollars. Beckon you'd better go and s -o the horse."- -.1 l:iu:;;:tn TruceUr. Lace pins arc Wui u, not only at tho throat, but for d.'.ip ry fastenings. A
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers