Rates of Advertising'. Ons Square (1 inch, )ono insertion - t OneSquare " one mouth -OneSquare " three month - (1 OneHqnare " one year - - 10 : Two Square, one year - - 15 I c Quartered. ' - ... 30 00 Half " " - - fiO (0 J8 PUBLISHED EVKUY WEDNESDAY, BY ornoE in bobwson & bonner-8 builtot3 ELM STREET, TIONESTA, PA. TEIIMS. 1.60 A. TEAR. No Subscriptions received for s short porlod than three months. Correspondence solleltod Irom nil parts nHlio country. No notice will be taken of anonymous communications. A A On - 100 t o Legal notioes at established rate. Marriage and death notices, pratln. All bills for yearly advertisements ' leted quarterly. Temporary adveri wents must bo paid for in ndvsnce. Job work. Cash on Delivery. VOL. XIII. NO. 36. TIONESTA. PA., NOV. 24, 1880. $1.50 Per Annum. The fflnnlo of Leaves. The chestnuts droop low by tbe river, And shady are Ankerwjxke trees; Tbe dragon flies fl ,sh and they quiver To somno'ent bumming oi boes! But here is a spot oi the pant time I'm many a mile from the Weir I'll robt and think over the last tbne I ventured to meditate bore. Oh, chestnuts aie shady, and guidon are sheaves, And sweet is the exquisite musio of leaves I paiwe in this quaint little harbor, Quite ont oi the swirl oi the stream j With leaves overhead like an arbor, I smoke, and I poodor, and dream. The bank, with its rough broken edges, Kxists as in days now remote; 1 here's still the faint savor of sodges And lilies fresh crushed by the boat. Ob, breer.es aro soft, and the dreamer receivos The rarest relr irfrom the musio ol leaves! A brown-eyed and trustful young maiden Then steered this identical Bkiff, Ilt-r tap with iorcot-me-nots laden, I now am ioroiton; but ii -No matter! I st e tho sweet glory Of love in those lat hornless eyes; I tell ber an ottentold story They sparkle with light and surprise! Oh, rivers are rapid, and syrens were thieves, Their musio was naught to the musio oi leaves! AH, sweet, do you ever remember The stream and its mnsioal flow? The story 1 told in September, The song of the leaves long ago T Oar love was a benuUlul briel song, As sweet as your voice and your eyes, Out frail as a lyrical leal sung, Inspired by tbe shoil summer sighs! Oh, summer is short, and tbe scalier still grieves, - -His sorrow is echoed in musio oi leaves! London World. Daisy's First Winter. "Sol have you at last, Daisy! To U the truth, I hardly thought Uncle diehard would dare to expose 'you to a winter of city dissipation." "Oh, you know you promised papa va should be very quiet, as is suitable r a minister's daughter, bo he felt no nr." Two girls were seated together in a ''"'M, which might have been designed y :m artist, so perfect it was in all its i vm-iou details. They were cousins 10 a wealthy city banker's only child, 'la other the daughter of. a countrv minister. Amy was a vivacious bru nette, whose every motion was so quick us to remind one forcibly of a brilliant hamming bird. Daisy was a swe,et. rose bud of a girl, with sensitive mobile ips and deep gray eyes. It was her arst winter in New York, and the first '. ime she had ever been away from home. "Now, Daisy," continued Amy, "you Lave been quiet for throe days, and to morrow I'm going . to take you out. Show me your party dresses." Daisy flushed a little as she rose, for she knew the almost limitless extent of Amy's wardrobe. Amy's politeness was severely taxed as she looked at the three prettily-fashioned, costumes whioh were Daisy's party dresses. It amused her to think of going through a season of city gayety with only three white dresses; but she only said . " They are lovely, Daisy just lovely I and when they are soiled I will supply .you ; we are 6f the same height." daisy's flush deepened as she rather proudly said : "I didn't expect to go to many par ties, Amy ; and when they are soiled I shan't go to any;more." Further speech was impossible, for Anvy seized her in her strong young arms, and, gently shaking her, ex claimed : ""Daisy Allen, take that! you shall make a winter of it. uncle is a minister? .Make I mean "What if up vour mind to do evorvthinsr and anvthinar. and if you thwart me, woe be to you." Daisy was only eighteen, and full of lifo and fun, and once having cast scruples aside, she entered heartily into all Amy's projects for their amusement. But Amy could not overrule her cousin, when, the following evening, she found her determined to wear a white dress to a " German " they were to at tend. So she had to content herself, when her oner of a ravishing "ciel-blue" silk was refused, with looping and dot ting here and there the simple dress with pure white rosebuds. She herself was attired in cream silk and black lace. Daisy had formed great anticipations of pleasure, as what young girl fresh from a quiet home would not; and they were abundantly gratified. She did not do injustice to Amy's boudoir lessons in waltzing, and the graceful white-robed girl was the most conspicuous of the many belles who saw with envy their complexions fade beside her fresh loveli ness. Vis-a-vis to Daisy in a "Lanciers" was a gentleman,' whose eyes had a mesmeric influence, in that they made hers droop. She watched him in the pauses of the dance, and tried to make out the dark, stern face. Was it stern because he did not approve of the glittering scene in which he mixed, or bimply indifferent? Such were Daisy's thoughts. But he was soon forgotten when Amy intro duced to hor an Apollo in modern garb, and took an opportunity to whisper in her ear: " Prince Charley, Daisy!" Ho immediately claimed her hand for the next dunce. Mr. Lo Roy, or "Prince Charley" an lie was called, was the greatest catch of the season. His parents were dead, and he the inheritor of their reputed vast possessions. Handsome scarcely describedl him. and as Daisy felt the spell of his bril liant conversation, an well as admired his beauty, she acknowledged Amy was right in all she had said in his praiso. The acquaintance begun that night developed very fast. Amy's parents, pleased to gratify their uaugnter, soon tnrew open tlieir house or a magnificent entertainment. Daisy's pride succumbed to the strong uesiro to ie ueautuui and charming, and she yielded to Amy's coaxing and con sented to wear one of her cousin's cos tnmcs. Dr. Allen would not have re cognized his little daughter as she gnaed tlirougli the bnlliantly-lighted rooms on Mr. Le Hoy's ann. Her dress waH of silk, the color of tho palest petal of the musk-rose, with a film of ioint lace falling in soft folds down to the end of the sweeping train. Her hair was powdered, and a cluster of pale pink buds, just tho color of the dress, nestled in the soft pulls just below the little ear. Charles Le Roy, whose taste in such matters was considered faultless. rro- nounced hor tho most beautiful of all the beauties he had seen. He scarcely left Iter Bide, and many were the signifi cant looks ens one and another noticed his attentions. He had hitherto been particular to single no one lady for at tention, hut had been courteous to all. " Now Prince Charley's caught at last." was the comment of his circle. Daisy was in the conservatory, restincr alter a long waltz, and Air. Le Hoy had gone to bring her an ice. Somewhat wearied, she leaned back among the perfumed foliage, which entirely screened her from view, when some words she overheard made her start erect and listen with a compression of the sensitive lips. This was what she heard: " 1 only know that she is Miss Amy ji.gucrts cousin a Miss Allen. Yes, she is beautiful. I thought, when I first saw her, a man would deem himself lucky who won the love of such a woman. Among that frivolous throng she conducted herself in such a natural, unaffected manner. It made one enjoy oneseit only to watch her. A few words were said she did not catch, and the deep voice went on. " You see now, Adele, what a change a few weeks in this kind of life makes. Look at her to-night one of society's most worldly votaries, exerting herself to win a smile from the beau par-excellence.' " The voice stopped, and looking around the orange tree which fstood be fore her, Daisy saw the tall, dark, stern looking man she had noticed before, and by his side a slight, youthful figure probably his wife. When " Prince Charley " returned he for some time found a rather distrait partner. But he had noticed the costli ness of her attire, and the superb dia monds in her ears and on her neck, and he had made up his mind here was a girl whose beauty satisfied him and who must be correspondingly wealthy, so he exerted himself to please, and was soon successful. Amy was higldy delighted with Daisy's success, and being herself engaged, made up her mind her cousin should be, too, before she returned to her country home. And who as eligible as Charles Le Roy. So that young man found things play ing right into his hands, and he made the most of his opportunities. Daisy was swept along in a dizzy whirl of Measure, ner imagination was dazzled, ler ambition pleased, and she thought her heart was touched. She wrote home frequently, but her letters were cautiou. She knew in her inmost heart her parents would not ap prove of the course she was pursuing. One afternoon one of those when the snow king smiles with the greatest approval, an elegant cutter, with a team of clipped bays, was drawn up in front of the Egbert mansion. Daisy, muffled iu a soft seal mantle lined with blue, which Amy had WTapped around her in the hall, descended the steps, and was carefully lifted in by "Prince Charley." Then, with a courteous bow and a gay good-bye to Miss Amy standing in the doorway, away they went. It was the first snow of the year, and all the avenues were alive with innu merable sleighs with their gay occu pants. It seemed to Daisy like the carnivals she had read of, as they glided swiftly along. " Prince Charley " was used to it all, but not evidently to the sweet beauty of the face beside him, as his ardent looks testified. And before a very great while he had read in the frank eyes that his hopes wore not in vain, and under the cover of the robe had held for an instant the little trembling hand. But suddenly Daisy's eyes dilated with honor, for right before the fiery bays, endeavoring to run across tho road, was a little boy. A scream, and the bays reared high in the air, and then dashed on, held by a firm hand, and urged faster and faster by a firm voice. Looking back, Daisy saw a little dark object in the road, and beside it, lifting it tenderly, was the gentleman whose harsh criticism upon herself she had heard. The whole occurrence took but a few moments, and they were out of sight. Cowering down in her seat, Daisy lifted an awe-struck face to her com panion. "Oh, Mr. Le Roy Charley why did you not stop ?" It t.eemod as if all the blood in his body rushed to his face as he r?plied : "Piisy, forgive me, but J dread, as I dread cain to mvself. seeinc it in others I will seek out the boy, and do all that money can do, but I couldn't have stopped." It was a terrible beginning of Daisy's love romance, but she had to be satis fied with his words. It turned out the boy was not seriously injured so Mr. Le Roy told her the next day ; and Daisy soon forgot everything else, save that she loved and was loved. It was now time for Daisy to return home, and so she had postponed telling her parents of her engagement till she should see them; she was anxious to go Amy had enjoyed the eclat of intro dncing a new star, and of bringing about the most conspicuous match of the sea son; and, beside that, she dearly loved her cousin, so she was sorry to have her go. Mr. Allen and his wife were wholly unprepared to find their daughter had grown in three short months to the dig nity of a lover; but they were indulgent parents where the happiness of her they loved uetter than themselves was con cerned, and did not check her enthu siasm as she told them about him. He was to visit them in a week, Daisy said. and they waited till then to express an opinion. One day, a week later, a hack drove through the little village to the parson age gate. Charles Le Roy gave a blank look around an he alighted and stopped to pay the driver. As he walked slowly up the garden path the blank look changed to a contemptuous one, and he with difficulty smoothed away both ex pressions as he reached the door. Tho parsonage was a small, neat house nothing elegant, indeed; but to his eyes, expecting to see an imposing struc ture, it seemed very plain and insignifi cant. He had not known Daisy's father was a minister, having never cared to ask about her family; for he had thought and truly, that only immense wealth could procure the magnificent costumes he daily saw her attired in. Daisy was conscious of a something. she could not define what, in his man ner, as he greeted her and was presented to her parents. bhe watched him curiously, too. at the supper-table, wondering at his strange manner, and disappointed with the' impression he was making, which she saw was not favorable. But she soon knew what was the trouble. Just before the meal was finished the servant brought in a letter to Dr. Allen, which he laid beside his plate to read at his leisure. As Daisy and Mr. Le Roy walked from the supper room together, he turned to her and said: " May I see you alone, a few minutes. Miss Daisy ?" Daisy looked quickly up, and started to see in his face the same expression which it had worn when he explained to her why he had not stooped his flying horses. She led him to the library, and the door had scarcely closed when he turned and hurriedly said: "Miss Daisy, instead of cominor to ask your parents' consent to our engage ment, I have come to give you back your freedom." Daisy gave a faint cry, and looked into his face with piteous eyes. For an in stant the selfish nature of the man wavered; but he went on : " I did love you I do !" here he drew her to him, which Daisy passively suf fered him to do, " but it is only just to tell you, I have lost all my fortune I am a poor man, and I would not doom one so bright and fair to poverty." " Oh, Charley, with a glad little augh, " is that all !" He saw the situation at a glance, and changed his tactics. Withdrawing his arm he said, coldly: " All I it is enough. Poverty is bad enough for one, but for two" The trembling, piteous-eyed maiden changed to a majestic woman, as Daisy suddenly in a lightning flash read the truth in the cowardly eyes which evaded hers. The glamour fell from her'eyes as she confronted him with the gesture of a queen. " I see it all, Mr. Le Roy. Nay let me Fpeak (as he tried to interrupt her). You saw me with my cousin's costly ilreHses and diamonds, and deemed me rich; you needed a fortune to mend your broken one, and you pretended to love me! I see I see it all !" She drew the gleaming solitaire from her finger, and laying it in his hand calmly awaited his next movement. I here was nothing for him to do or say, and he immediately took his de parture. If he felt a momentary shame it soon passed away, as he looked back on the little parsonage, and thought how nearly he had compromised himself. As soon as the door closed on him. Daisy wound her way to her u other's room. What was her surprise on open ing the door to find her in tears, and her husband vainly trying to comfort her. The mystery was made clear as her father handed her a letter, which was from London, and ran thus : " Rev. Dk. Allen: Deab Sra I have learned that a person by the name of Pay ton, alias Lo Roy, is to be at your house this week. I have just lately dis covered his whereabouts, and knowing you a minister, will wish to further the ends of justice, delayed operation until sure of success. He is the famous forger who so successfully fcrged the names of five dt our wealthy merchants, and dis- j appeared with the money. I myself, with two officers, will visit you Thurs day, and as you are a lover of justice, I charge you to detain him be he friend or foe." The name signed was Roger Penten gali, and Dr. Allen had heard of him as a celebrated detective. The paper dropped from Daisy's hand as she realized what she had escaped, and then and there she confessed all to her parents, taking to herself the blame of appearing what she was not. Of course when the gentlemen came there was no prisoner to capture, Dr. Allen explaining to them that he had not known of his departure in time to pre vent it. They had told him how they had learned he was to be there that week. Two detectives, disguised as farmers, with produce to sell, had wormed themselves into the favor of Mr. Egbert's servants (knowing Le Roy was intimate there), who had easily fallen into the trap, and told all they knew from hearing the family conversation. They thought that to arrest him in quiet Deanleittll WOUld avoid on'vinnr nmmena. u . - r, ...... sary pain to his many friends ; and as wiev were acting unuer such instructions, had laid their plans in that wnv. Daisv's first winter she did ' Tint, tnnn forget. And when the news came of iur. je lioy s arrest, and the scandal it hn.fi PflllHod in arvstiiYr 1i,1 ,1 anew at the awful peril she had so gid- uuy courted. Amy Egbert came the next summer, full of mmnnw hut. ulm soon became her own gay self as she AV 1 1 -W-V . . - saw me uioom on jJaisy s lace as bright asTever. There was an elegant place called xwcKmount, a little out of the village, which had stood vacant, for too nrwl if was rumored it had found a nnrclmMer extravagant stones were told of his 1 4.1. 1( T' 1 at wemm. "iucn as uroesus he was (sailed, and when a check came to Dr. Allen of onft thnilHfiml dnllnra fnr lm poor of the village," it made them all i i i me mure ueneved. Four uneventful years quietly passed away. In that time Daisy changed more in mind and character than in nor. son. When Mr. Delmar, the owner of ItOCkmount. called with Inn tnafor of ft. a parsonaere and met the Rerioiiseves link ing into his, he knew ho had seen tho jace Deiore, and he suddenly remem bered where and hnw. Daisv. inn folf 'J J www, V.V the same mesmeric influence that had once attracted her attention, stronger than ever. It Was soon evident linw thinira wom tending, and uaisy s parents were happy not alone with their dan enter's mol ing a good match in a worldly point of view, but that every new meeting showed them something more noble and manly in Philip Delmar's character. When he asked Daisy if she would be his wife, she told him about, Mr. Le Rov. nnt, fuiarinc Viemolf in iha rooifol and then with her hands folded one in the other, and downcast eyes, waited. " Mv darlincr !" was all Philin Raid but the word was accented as if in that all the past were wiped away ; and Daisy, lifting her lips for the betrothal kiss, saw the graveness all gone out of the i i . . .... . . aarx iace, and m its stead a vivid light, whose source she knew. So it was that that first winter of r-liv life, which had worked her so much sor row, was now remembered with pleas ure, for then it was she had first met the one who was makincr her life one lontr realm of sunshine. ,Bll''"1MSSlllMilllMSSSJSSSSJMSMSJJMi Do 'ot Fret. Men get out of order by excessive in dustry, from steady watch, from are, and so render morbid the whole nervous system and for the time being will draw fear from the future. Too much is too much of anything. Some men are born hopeful ; they go upon life ex actly as a buoyant boat floats upon the waves. It goes up when they go up, it falls when they fall, but it is evermore on the surface. I have known men bankrupted and they came up next morn ing smiling. Then there are other men whose hope is at a minimum. The future is never radiant to them. One trreat fault is throwing into the future in flamed desires. It is not wrong for men to desire riches. Certainly it is not wrong to desire that which is tho prin cipal motive to industry. But if this is carried to an excess men become mean, detestable. There aro multitudes of men that never think of enjoying them selves while they are acquiring riches. They put it off to the future and they live in a perpetual anxiety and fret over the acquisition of property. Property is a very good tiling, but it never had a value that justified a man in sacrificing his happines or his soul for it. How many men there are Buffering care as to how tlieir children should stand in life, how their family should stand, and if next year they shall be as prosperous as they are now ? How many persons there are that brood and brood unnecessarily as to the future of their children, fearing that they may not turn out well. "He has told a lie ; he is on the road to the devil." -1 Well, I don't believe there ever was a child that did not lie. It is part of their inherited nature, and it is an evil, and a great evil, and is to be plucked up bv the roots. I, when I go into my garden, never cry and nay: " There are so many weeds ! I am never going to have a garden, never, never, never!" I dig up tho weeds and say: " I will have a garden." And so parents fearful of their children may take cour age. Mow as to tire remedy for the evils that grow out of this care for the future and first we must put the direct re sistance of the will. It makes a great difference whether a man takes a poker by the hot end or the cold end. There must be a vigorous determination that you are not called to joy; that all the universe is mado for you, and that you will not submit yourself to the degrada tion and bondage of erpetual intrusive fear ; that you will say: " I will not per mit myself to suffer." The best way of escaping all these carping cares is to trust in the Lord. All things are for you. -Henry Ward Beccher. Competitive Trial of Sheep Dogs. At the international sheep show in Philadelphia, one of the most interest ing features of the exhibition was a trial of the skill of sheep dogs in managing their fleecy charge. The dogs were ex pected to take five sheep from a pen, drive them around a course about a quarter of a mile long, and put them in another pen provided for the purpose. The first attempt was made by an Eng lish dog called " Lad," which, in Shef field, England, is said to have carried off the first prize from twenty-eight competitors. A correspondent of the "New England Farmer "thus describes the scene: Everything being in readiness, the bars were taken down, and at a word from his master "Lad" jumped into the pen and sent the sheep out in a hurry. They were very wild, and the large crowd present had a tendency to make them worse. They at once started around the north side of the course, followed by the dog and his master, buJt had not gone a third of the distance when the ram at the lead made a break, and went through the crowd on the outside of the ring, closely followed by the others, with the dog at their heels. In a short time the dog returned with four of them, but the fifth was stwl missing. After bringing them back, he went in search of the absent one, which he soon found and brought inside the inclosure. But instead of going toward its companions thin re fractory ram started in the other direc tion, but was not followed by the dog, who went again after the stray four. After getting these started, another broke away, but was soon brought back, when all four again started around the course, the intention of the dog being evidently to pick up the stray ram when he came up with him. When the dog went to get the ram, it showed fight, and took refuge between two stone slabs. The dog barked furiously, and in vain at tempted to dislodge the stubborn ani mal. The dog was about giving it up, when his master instructed him to go back and fetch the ram with him. The dog started with renewed courage, and charged the infuriated ram. Instead of the ram running away, it lowered its head and repelled the attack of the canine. After being repeatedly butted, the dog caught the ram by the ear, and by dint of sheer force led the animal to the pen. This trial consumed about twenty-five minutes. A Scotch collie named "Oscar" did not have so severe a tussle as " Lad," and accomplished his task in twenty-one minutes. Other dogs were also put on trial test, and the awards were made later in the week. All of the dogs are endowed with in credible intelligence and sagacity. Genuine Esquimau Dogs. Lieutenant Doane, of the United States army, who went out with the Gulnare, brought back with him two cute little Esquimau pup pies, which he has presented to Captain Howgate. They are interesting little creatures, and as frolicsome as kittens. They are covered with fur, as soft and fine as Saxony wool, and they are as fond of petting as children. The heads are black, and the bodies a dingy white, which is, however, crradually yielding to soap and water, and promises in time to rival the snows of their Arctio birthplace in whiteness. Their eves beam with intelligence, and their ears are pointed, like those of foxes. They are extremely good-natured, and man-, fest a great fondness for human societyi which proven that they are an important factor in the domestic circles of the Frigid Zone. They were fed meat on theirjarrival, and, not being accustomed to diet of that kind, it nearly ended their lives. Then the weather was very warm in the middle of the dav, and the poor creatures panted as vigorously as a United States member of the genus canine in the dog days. When the writer saw them they had just dined on raw oysters, which they had enjoyed immensely, and were trifling over their dessert a twenty-pound block of ice, that tliy caressed with all the apparent fondness one bestows on an old and familiar friend. If they survive such extremes of climate and are not so many pounds of hvdrophobia to the square inch, fine sledges drawn by Esquimau dogs will become one of tlte vagaries of fashionanlo metropolitan life in the near future. Make Friends. Life is very critical. Any word may be our last. Any farewell, even amid glee and merriment, may be forever. If this truth were but burnt into our con sciousness, and if ruled as a deep con viction and real power in our lives, would it not give a new meaning to our human relationships? Would it not make us far more tender than we some times aro ? Would it not oftentimes put a rein upon our rash and impetuous speech ? Would we carry in our hearts the miserable suspicions and jealousies that now so often embitter tho fountains of our lives? Would we be so impatient of the faults of others? Would weal low trivial misunderstandings to build up a wall between us and those who ought to stand very close to us ? Would we keep alive potty quarrels year after year, which a manly word any day would compose ? Would we pass old f riends or neighbors on the street without re cognition, because of some real or fan cied slight, some wounding of pride, or some ancient grudgo ? Or would we be so chary of the kind words, our com mendations, our sympathy, our comfort, when weary hearts all about us aro breaking for just such expressions of interest or appreciation as we have in our power to give ? Christian at Work, j Sorting Beans A farmer's wile was bony Sorting beans. The good seemed hardly any, For the harvest time wa ralDy, Bad lor beans. The poor ones wore bo many, She was vexed and tired by picking Out bad beans. For it took her many hours, And it tired her patience powers, Till she wished there were no showers To spoil beans. Suddenly she stopped, and thinking Oi the beans Now finished, said with smiling: What a iool to let the riling Come, the pleasant hours beguiling, For bad beans. " When I come to have another Sorting beans, I will save mo halt the trouble, And my pleasure will be double, While I burst the hideous bubble Of bad I (cans. " For instead oi always looking For bad beans, I will leave them, while with pleasure 1 will gather ont aud treasure, Till I fill my little measure With good beans." There's a lesson irom this story Sorting beans. Life is full ol smiles and madness, Many griets and sometimes gladness, Much of joy and more ot sadness Like poor beans. And our work in life is sorting, As with beans, We can go through lilo and end it. Leaving the best things, that lendi Cbarms, and only spend it With bad beans. But there is a way that's better Sorting beans. Choose the good, and when lilo closts There will be less thorns than roeei. For the garnered good disposes Of poor beans. HUMOROUS A growing industry Farming. The letter A makes men mean. The name ef the last-discovered planet is an inch longer than the planet. How to, turn people's heads Come to a concert late in a pair of squeaking boots. Men are like pins. One with a little head may be just as sharp as one with a big head. " Well, wife, you can't say I ever con tracted bad habits." "No, you gen erally expanded them." The " New Orleans Picayune " thinna that a man, like a razor, is made keen by being frequently strapped. " Won't go fishin' no more!" growled little Johnny. " Never catch nothin' but a whalin,' I don't." Keokuk Con stitution. " Oh, my ear-rings!" exclaimed th urchin as the side of his face came in contact with the flat of his father's hand. Waterloo Observer. " Another man overboard," as the landlady remarked when the dead-beat skipped on Saturday night without pay ing for his week's board. A great deal is being said in England about the Deceased Wife's Sister Bill. We don't believe any wife, living or dead, ever had a sister Bill. The worst case of favoritism on record is that of a youth whose mother put a larger mustard plaster on his younger brother than she did on him. " Don't be afraid," said a snob to a German laborer; " sit down and make yourself my equal." " I vould haff to blow my plains oud," was the reply of the Teuton. A beautiful girl in Moline. Whose buir was a silvery sheen, Bcught an awful red hang On bur foiebend to bang, Produoing a curious scene. A New Yorker is named Stealing, ana he hutes the name; but he took the curse off it for his daughter by making her Christian name " Worth." Boston Tost. The season is coming when a man must not only guard carefully his liberty and every other right vouchsafed him by the Constitution, but he must keep one eve on his woodpile and hen-roost. Middletown Transcript. It is very sad to leant late in life that tho hitherto unsuspected primrose iu "a corollifloral dicotyledonous exogen, with a monopetalus corolla and a cen tral placenta." Professor Huxley is re sponsible for unearthing this scaudolouH fact. "I want to seo the villain who wrote this article. Where's the proprietor of this paper?" "He's out." "Where's tho managing editor?" "lie's out." "Where's the city editor?" "He's out," "Where's the reporter?" "llo's out." "Where'm I?" (Bicketty slam-bang-jam! Two panes of glass broken.) "You're out" Man found on sidewalk and carried to hospital. Verdict: St nick by lightning. Still they will do it. The general public will no doubt bo pleased to learn that section two of chapter forty-one of tho peual code of the Hawaiian islands has been amended. It now reads : " l'auku 2. O ka mea liana i kckahi wai ikaika a me kekahi mea e ae e oua'i i mea kuai aku e hooukuia no ia i ua da lu aole oi akh i clima haneri a ina kaa ole in uku, e hoopnahaoia oia ma ka liana oolea, aolo e oi aku i na makuhiki iluu."
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers