Rates of AdvcrtisiDg. On Square (1 inch,) ono insertion - Ono Square " one month - SIM One-Square " , thrco months - 6 10 One Square " ono j-ear - - 10(Xi TwoMqnares, one year - - 15 fo Quarter Col. ---- :l) ) Half .. - f0 (0 One . - - - 100 00 Legal notices at established rates. Marriage and death notices, gratis. All bills for yearly advertisement rol. lected quarterly. Temporary advertise mmtt must lie paid for in nrtrancc. Job work, Cash on Delivery. A A )ti fMTRf.lftriRI) UVKKY WKONKKDAY, Bt OFFICE IN ROBIKSON & BONNER'S BUILDING ELM STREET, TI05E3TA, Tk, M 1IBM8, tl.60 A YEAR. No Subscriptions received for a shorter period tlmn throo nioiitlis. Correspondence solieltod trom all parts n'tio country. No notieo will be taken of it ti mi v fun us I'liiiimiimrRHon. VOL. XIII. NO. 23. TIONESTA. PA., AUGUST 25, 1880. $1.50 Per Annum. A Vengeance. Fromavage pass and rugged shore . The noise oi angry hosts had nod, The bitter battle rated no inoro . Whero (lory bolts had wrought thoir soars , And whore the dying and the dead . In many a woolul heap were flung, While night above the Aegean hung It melanoholy maze of stars. One boyish Greek, of princely line. Lay splashed with blood and wounded sore; His wan lace in it) anguish bore The dolica'e symmetry divine Carved by the old sculptors of hil land; A broken blade was in his hand, II ill slipping from the fo coloss hold That once had swsyed it long and well; And round his lorm in tatter" full Tue velvet raiment flowered with gold. Hut whilo the oalm night later grow Ho baVd the stealthy, rustling sound Ol Mie trailed on laggard knees A shafcred shape along the ground ; 'And soon wilff slmrp surprise he know That In the oncliollng gloom prolonnd A fierce Turk orawled by slow dogrcos To where in helpless pain he lay. Then, too, he witnessed with dismay That Irom thorone Turk's ranooroas eye Flashed the barbaric lurid traoo Ot hate's indomitable hell Such hate as death alone ooutd quell, As death alone oould satisfy. Closer the loitering figure drew, With naked bosom red with fight, With ruthless fingers clutching tight A dagger stained with murderous hae, ' Till now, in one great lurch, he threw II is whole liame forward, aiming quick A deadly, inexorable blow, That, weakly faltering, n.issed its mark And lolt the assassin breathing thick, Leveled by nerveless overthrow, There near the Greek chief, in the daik. Then he that saw the baffled crime, Halt careloss.ia his life's release, Since death must win him soon as prey, Turned on his foe a smile sublime Wiih pity, and the stars of Greece iioheld him smile, and only they. All night the t o lay side by side, Each ueur to death, yit living each; All night the grim Turk moaned and orii d, Beset with panes ot horrid thirst, Save when his dagger crept to reaoh, By wanderiug, ineffectual way,' ' . ' The prostrate Greek he yoarnod fo slay, , And lailuie stung him till ho ourted. But when soft promixoj of morn , Had wra; ped the sea in wistiul white, A bund f men with loons worn, Cfomb inland paptaa beetling height T find the young evl tboy adored; Bought eagerly since lull of sun, I And now in ghastly change restored. One raited a torch ol ruddy shine, LAtd, kneeling by thtit leader, one Sot to his mouth a goure of wind. Then the young Grtek, with wave of land, Showed the swart pagan at bis sido; So, motioning to tho gathered band, That none oould choose but understand, " Let this man drink," he said, and died. Lijpincott't Magatint. THE PILOT'S STORY. We had grown up together, as it were, Mollie and I, our parents being near neighbors, and which does not always follow firm friends as well. They were poor, and I suspect that fact had much to do with their friendship, for opportunities were alwajs turning up for helping one another; and I have often noticed that, when near neighbors are well off and have no need for mutual help, there is very seldom any friend ship between them there is more apt to be jealousy and competition between them. , Our parents being such good frfl&ds, it naturally resulted that Mollie and I followed their example. Wo went to school together, read together, played together; and somehow, when Mollie was eighteen and I twenty, we agreed to travel together all our lives, and were very happy in that arrangement; in f ct, no other would have seemed right or natural, rtther to us or to our par ents. From the earliest days of my boyhood I had a fondness for the water, haunt ing the palatial steamboats that floated on the great Mississippi river, on whose banks nestled the city in which we dwelt, and, at the period to which I am about to refer, I had just secured a posi tion as pilot on a small freight steamer. It was not much of a position, to be Bure, nor was there much of a salary attached to it; but small as it was, Mollie and I d ecided that vre could make it answer for two people, neithet of them extravagant or unreasonable ; be sides which, i had hopes of better times , to come, as I had received words ol commendation from my employers and promises of speedy promotion. So, early one bright morning, having obtained a day's leave of absence, Mollie and I were married, and, stepping into a carriage I had hired for the occasion, we started oil, having decided on a day's excursion to a celebrated cave near by, this being all the wedding trip we could allow ourselves; not that we cared in the least, however we were too happy to be disturbed by any shortcomings of time or purse. . We had scarcely driven beyond our own street, however, when we were brought to a halt. A messenger, whom I rojcnized as belonging to our steamboat company, hailed me. " Here is a note for you from the su - perintendent." . Thus it ran : "Am sorry to have to rectll your lcavo for to-day, but you must immedi ately go on board the Mobila. which is ready to start up the river. The pilot is too ill to attend to duty, and yonro appointed to take his place g.:,t the present. " "There goes our wedding trip all to smash I" said I, as Mollie read the or der. "Why bo l)" she asked. "You see I must go into the pilot house of the Mobilia." " Very well," she replied. "We will just go up the river instead cf to the cave. Uriveon.Uob; let us go down to the wharf In state." " But you can't go in the pilot-house with me, little goose." "Of course not; but Ican.siton the deck outside," laughed Mollie, "and we enn cast languishing glanca.i at each other." And so it came to pass that I took pos session of the Mobilia's pilot-house, my heart glowing with love and pride with love, for there, just below me, on the little forwnrd deck, sat my sweet bride; with pride, because the Mobilia was one of the finest of the beautiful floating palaces of the Mississippi, and to pilot such a one had for years been the height of my ambition. The steamer was fitted up with a double cabin, one above the other, the upper one opening upon a 6mall deck, reaching' out toward the bow, near the center of which, on a raised platform, was placed the pilot-house. This deck was always occupied by passengers, and this morning, it was par ticularly crowded; for the boat was heavily laden with people, taking ad vantage of the beautiful weather to make an excursion up the river. - Some rough fellows jostled rudely against Mcilie's chair, after awhile, and she rose and passed down into the lower cabin, "to get a drink of water," she whispered to me, ns she passed; but I suspect It was really to prevent the bursting of the thunder-cloud she saw gathering on my brow. I saw that the insolent fellows made no attempt to follow my dear one, so I gavo myself up to my own happy thoughts; and, looking out on the far distant, peaceful shores of the great river, over whose placid bottom we were moving so swiftly, there rosc,frtm my heart a glad, silent hymn of rejoic ing. But suddenly a cry broke forth from Ihe cabin behind me, that effectually changed the current oi my thoughts: ' ' Fire! tire! fire!" A horrible cry at all times, but most horrible of all when it rings forth in the midst of gay, unsuspicious hun dreds, floating in fancied security In the midst of the waters. - " , i ' An instant's awe-struck silence suc ceeded that awful cry, and then three hundred voices, of men, women and children, united in fearful, heartrending shrieks for help. .-- "Fire! fire! fire!" Aye! there was no mistake about it, nor false alarm. No one could tell how it had commenced, but there it was, creeping along the roof of the upper cabin, with the deadly flames greedily lapping up every scrap of awning and curtain they could find upon their way. ever and anon darting long tongues of flame down to the floor, to clasp the light chairs, and tables, and settees in tueir fiery embrace. ' , As well seek with a sieve to scoop up the waters of the great river on which the Mobilia floated as try to subdue the roaring, devouring enemy that had seized upon the ill-fated steamer. The people . darted down from the blazing upper cabin to the forward deck below, where as yet the foe had made but little headway, and there our brave captain who was that ram avis,- tlie "right man in the right place" suc ceeded in partially quelling the panic. "Keep quiet'" he ordered "keep quiet, and stay just where you are, or I will not answer for the lives of any of you! The steward will provide every one of you with life-preservers; but there is no reason for any person to go overboard, not yet awhile, at any rate, unless suicide is desired. Keep quiet, I say ! Screaming won't frighten the tire away. Pilot, head her straight for the land, half a mile ahead." (We were at least twice that distance from the main land on either shore.) "Engineer, put on all steam crowd heron! We will run a race with the foul fiend that has boarded the Mobilia." There was an instant's pause, and then, with a groan and a surge, with the timbers creaking and straining, and the windows rattling as though in mortal terror, the Mobilia gathered herself up to run her last race. Each passing . moment the flames crept on and on and on, never pausing in their terrible march. Fortunately they leaped upward rather than down ward, so that there was as yet but little danger to the panic-stricken crowd on the lower deck. But the pilot-house was directly in the track of the flames, and already their advance guard was beginning to sur round me, singeing my hair and eye brows. Suddenly there was a murmur among the people below, and the next instant a light form flew up the ladder leading tJ the little deck by the pilot-house, and before I could say a word, my precious Mollie had thrown open the door, and, closing it again, stood at my side. , "Mollie Mollie!" I cried, "for heaven's sake go back, go back ! Don't you see how the flames are creeping to ward us here? Go, go, my dearest, my own true wife! Don't unoiairme by making me fear for you. Go down where 1 can feel that you have a chance ofsafety." " Hob Tljpe!" she exclaimed, with her eyes looking bravely, straight into mine, " am I your wife?" "Surely, surely, thank God!" I uttered. "But go, go!" " My post is here, just ns much as yours is," she answered, firmly- " I will stay here, Mob. and if yoQlie I will die, too. We will make our wedding trip together, my dear husband, even if it be into the nexPworld. Keep to your duty, and never mind me, Hub. There is hope tot us yet, and if it comes to the worst, why" and a brave, sweet smile crept round her lips "we are still to gether, dear love!" 1 saw it was of no use to urge her any more, and besides something swelled in my throat so that I could not utter a word, so I just gripped the wheel hard and looked fight ahead, though every thing looked very dim just then, and my devoted darling stood calmly at my side, watching the flames, that were creeping closer and closer upon us, leap ing around the pilot-house like hungry demons impatientof their prey. "Thorpe!" shouted the captain. " come down. Lower her and yourself over the rail. We'll catch you. You cannot stay there any longer. Wo are very Hear the Bhore' now, and the rest we'll take our chances for." It wa an awful temptation. I knew that, did I follow the captain's advice, both Mollis and I would be safe, for I was a good swimmer, and should the boat not reach the shore I could save her and myself; but then, if I did this, would I not deliberately expose every ope of the three hundred souls on board to destruction? True, the boat might keep to her course during the short space remaining to be passed, merely from the rapid impetus of her approach ; but again, shfi might not and then? I looked at my dear wife, inquiringly. " Stick to your post, Robl" she Baid. "No, sir!" I shouted back; "I shall stick to my post; I shall stay here till I run her clear on the shore, or die first." "My brave Rob my noble ltob?" murmured Mollie. At last, just as the glowing tongues fo flame began to reacli in through the windows, a crash and a shiver passed from stem to stern of the noble steamer, and with a sharp quiver and a shake, her bow ran high up on the shelving beach, and in less time than it takes to tell it every man, woman and cliild sprang Irom the heated def ks and were saved. But, alas, for my devoted Moll'e! alas, for me. Not the pilot-house only, but the entire deck around it, was now sur rounded by flames. It was too late to lower ourselves to the deck below. The railing was all ablaze. My arms, released from their guardian ship over the wheel, clasped Mollie close to my heart; but my eyes and brain were busy seeking for some mode of es cape from the death that seemed each instant more certain. All at once my gaze rested on the paddle-box. It had not taken fire yet; the flying spray had saved it. I had only to dash across the flame-swept deck and fling open a little door in its side, which afforded ready access to the wheels, to lower my precious charge "to the water beneath in safety. No sooner thought of than done. '.' Take my hand, Mollie," I said, "and run with me. We shall be saved, after all. Ay rap your shawl across' your mouth.' Now, now run!" Leaping down on the deck, we sped, hand i i hand, to the paddle-box. 1 dashed open the l'ttle door, and, push ing Mollie inside, passed in myseit and drew the door close again, thus shut ting out the eager flames, whose angry roar pursued us, as we dropped gently down into the shallow water, and crept out from beneath the wheel. Our appearance was hailed with a shout of delight and relief, for all had given us up as lost ; and we must have been but for the heaven-inspired thought of the wheel-house. ; Now that the danger was over, poor little Mollie fainted; and no wonder. But she soon came out all right: and as the people began to find out that the "brave little girl," as they called her, was really a bride of only a few hours, and that we were. on our wedding trip, there was a regular ovation, followed up by nine deafening cheers. The island upon which the Mobilia had been beached was low, sandy and uninhabited, altogether not an Inviting place for 300 people, without a particle of shelter, to pass half a day upon, yet, even in this plight, there were few grumblers in our midst. There was no room in our hearts for any feeling but that of thankfulness for our preservation Irom a tearful death, and after the peril of the last hour or two, it seemed a small matter to wait patiently for the coming ot the relief boats that we knew were sure to arrive before many hours were past. Though some miles from any laree city, we knew that the burning steamer must have been seen from the farm houses scattered 'sparsely along the river bank, and that from these notice of the disaster would be sent to the nearest town. And so it was. Before nightfall several small steam boats arrived, ani after that, but a few hours elapsed before we found ourselves safely at home, and our adventurous wedding trip at an end. But its results were not ended by any means. The terrible nervous strain I had endured, combined with the severe burns on my "face and iiands, threw me piostrato on a bed of sickness. When I was able to report for duty afiiru two weeks later, I learned that a ifcSrSVft from the Mobilia's grateful passenger' uo less a sum than two thousand dollars lay in the bank await ing my order. Not only this, but the steamboat com pany had voted me a gold medal and the appointment of pilot of the finest steamer on their line. Years have gone by since my brave wife and I had so nearly journeyed out of the world on our wedding trip. From pilot I have come to be captain and part owner of one of those beautiful floating palaces that used so to excite my envy ; but never do I pass without a sickening hudder the little island where the Mo bilia won the stakes in the last race a race of tire against steam, of life against death. A Kentucky chicken that lived five day8 and was hatched-on the farm ot Col onel J. W Reynolds, had four legs. In walking tho legs were all kept in motion, and it was as lively a chick as ever scratched dirt. TIMELY TOPICS. The Mormons aie still pegging away at their new temple. It is' now twenty years since the building was com menced, $4,000,000 has been expended, it is about one-fourth completed, and it is said about $28,000,000 will be required to finish it. A St. Paul firm paid $585.78 as duty the other day on a lot if mill ma chinery imported from Austria. The machinery consists of wheat crushers on the same principle as those used thousands of years ago at Thebes, and is intended to supersede the presont pro cess ol grinding wheat by means of a stone. . A novel election bet is reported as having been made by Hartford political opponents. The loser is to black boots at a designated corner on a given day, the proceeds of his work to go to the orphan asylum. The agreement also provides that all monev collected should be given to tho asylum ; that no change should in tny case be given to the party paying for the shine, and that the one who does the work shall pro vide himself with a bottle of dressing with which to black ladies' boots. By the census just taken in England it is found that Joneses carry the day and are more numerous than the Smiths. After the latter come the septs Wil liams, Taylor, Davis and Brown. John son stands tenth, Robinson eleventh, Wilson twelfth. Thompson, with a "p," takes only twenty-fourth place, and Clark, without an "e." twenty eighth. Clarke, with an " e," is thirty eighth. Among tho strange names are Albertina Regina Victoria Gothe Boult, Turnerico Henrica Ulrica due Gloria do Lavinia Rebecca Turner, and Hostiliana Ophignia Maria Hypi hile Wadge. The debris of Hallett's Point rock, in the East river. New York, whicli was exploded in 1877, under supervision of General Newton, has now nearly all been removed from the bottom of the water, and nothing remains to be done toward making Hell Gate completely navigable except the demolition or Flood rock, which is a gigantic stone, and will not be perforated ready for blasting until 1883. It covers nine acres, and work upon it was begun immediately after the explosion of Hallett's Point. An addi tional two or three years will be re quired for clearing away the debris, after which there will be twenty-six feet ol water at low tide. - An exchange says that cigarette smoking is now a fashionable habit, and one which is increasing at an alarm ing rate among half-grown boys, and it is the opinion of well-known physicians that if thi3 habit is not checked ad ditions to our asylums will be in order. A physician, satisfied that there was death in that form of tobacco, had a cigarette analyzed. The result was startling. Tho tobacco was found to be strongly impregnated with opium, while the wrapper, which was warranted to be rice paper, was proven to be the most ordinary quality of white paper whitened with arsenic; the two poisons combined being presented in sufficient quantities to create in the smoker the habit of using opium without his being aware of it, and which craving can only be satisfied by an incessant con sumption of cigarettes. The following comparison is made between American and English cities: There are sixty-four cities in the United States with a population exceeding 30, 000; there are forty-four cities with more than 40,000 ; thirty-four with more than 50,000; twenty-seven with more than 00,000; twenty-four with more than 75,000; twenty with more than 100,000, and one with more than 1,000,. 000. Ijondon is a long way ahead of New York, but the other English cities fall below the American eiies. Liver pool ranks below Philadelphia and Brooklyn; "Manchester and Birming ham are below Chicago and St. Louis: Leeds and Sheffield are below Boston aud. Baltimore; Bristol, Bradford and Salford are below Cincinnati, San Fran cisco and New Orleans; Hull, New castle and Portsmouth are below Wash ington, Cleveland and Buffalo; Leices ter, Sunderland and Oldhan are below Newark, Louisville and Pittsburg. "Knowledge H Power." In a crowded city street an Ill-natured mastiff seized a little dog by the throat, and threatened to strangle him. A crowd soon gathered, full of sympathy for the little sufferer and of anger against the mastiff'. Words and blows were freely use'J to compel him to let go his hold, and stones and clubs were brought as additional arguments. But tho uly brute held on the more tena ciously, aud the case of tho poor little doj seemed hopeless. When everybody was at his wit's ends, a dandy, exquisitely dressed, happened along. Looking with a sort of contempt on the mongrel crowd, he said, in a consequential tone, " Leave him to me." Tho laugh was general at his expense. But, with admirable coolness, draw ing from his pocket a golden snuff'-box. he held two or three pinches of snuff under the nose of the mastiff. ' While the mouth was closed the mastiff could breathe only through the nostrils. In a mon:ent the snuff did its work. The brute began sneezing vigorously, dropped the little dog, and, half-frightened, took to his heels. The dandy, looking around complacently on the crowd, said, "Knowledge is power," and went on his way- Vesuvius electrically illuminated ap pears now nightly aa the " mountain of of light" of the tastern fable. Tho in describable grandeur of the spectacle attracts to Naples thousands ol tourist) from. tho most distant countries of Europo and America. Mr. Spoopendjke's Prayer-Book. "Now, my dear," said Mr. Spoopen dyke, cheerfully, " bo lively. It's twenty minutes past ten, and we mustn't be late at church. Most ready?" "Yes. dpar." beamed Mrs. Spoopen- dyke. "I'm all ready. Got every thing?" " I think so. Hymn-book, umbrella and where's the prayer-book? I haven't got the prayer-book," "Where did vou leave it?" asked Mrs. SDoopendyke, turning over the volumes on tho table hurriedly. "If 1 knew where I left it I'd strut right to that spot and ect it," retorted Mr. Fpoopendyke. " 1 left it witn you. Where did you put it? Can't you re member what you do with things?" " I haven't seen it since last Sunday," retorted Mrs. Spcop mdyke, faintly. ' I know," she continued; "perhaps it is at church." " Perhaps it is," mimicked Mr. Spoo pendyke; "perhaps it got up early, took a bath and went ahead of us. Did you ever see a prayer-book prowl off to church all alone? Ever see a prayer book h'ist up its skirts and strike out for the sanctuary without an escort? S'pose a prayer-book knows the differ ence between a church and a ham sand wich? Where did you put it?" "I mean you may have left it in the pew-rack. You know you did oncef" suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke. "I didn't do anything of the sort. I brought it home' and gave it to you. Where do you keep it? What did you do with it? S'pose I'm going to swash around through that service without knowing whether they are doing the apostles' creed or an act of Congress? Spring around and find it, can't you? What are you looking there for? Don't you know the difference between a prayer-book and the Wandering Jew ? Find it, can't you?" " Never mind it, dear," fluttered Mrs. Spoopebdyke ; "I know all the responses, and I'll help you along." , "Oh, yes, you know 'em all. What you don t know about religion wouldn't wad a gun. All you want is a bell and a board fence to be a theological semi nary. Think you can find that prayer book between now and the equinoctial?" howled Mr. Spoopendvke. " Got any idea whether you sold the measley thing for china vases or stirred it into the wheat cakes? Have I been chawing divine grace all the morning? Where'B that prayer-book? Going to get the prayer-book before the Revelations come to pass?" and Mr. Spoopendyko pmnged around the room, tumbling books about and breathing heavily. " I don't see the use of making such a fuss over a thing you don't really need." sobbed Mrs. Spoopendyke through her indignant tears. " Oh, you don't?" raved Mr. Spoopen dyke. " You don't see any use in put ting things where they belong, do you? How d'ye s'poso I'm going to keep up with religion without a prayer-book? How d'ye s'pose I'm going to know when it's my turn to show what Chris tianity has done for me, unless you can find that dod-gasted book between now and the resurrection P" and Mr. Spoop endyko spun around on hi3 knee like a top. and knocked over a Parian jar. ' Wait a minute, my dear," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, looking at him earnestly. Then she went behind him and fished out the prayer-book. "Got it, didn't you?" he growled. " Had it all the time, I s'pose. Where was it, anyway?" "In your coat-tail pocket, dear," and Mrs. Spoopendyke jabbed the powder puffin her eyes, and stalked downstairs, leaving her liege lord to follow. Brook lyn Et(jJc. . .Words of Wisdom. True virtue is like precious odors sweeter the more incensed and crushed.. The evils of the world will continue until philosophers become kings, or kings become philosophers. Tho mind has more room in it than most people imagine, if you would fur nish tho apartments. No man is born wise; but wisdom and virtue require a tutor; though we can easily learn to be vicious without a master. The harsh, hard world neither sees, nor tries to see, men's hearts; but wherever there is an opportunity of evil, supposes that evil exists. If good people would but make good ness agreeable, and smile instead of frowning in their virtue, how many would they win to the good cause! Whoever is an imitator by nature, choice or necessity, has nothing stable; the flexibility which affords this apti tude is inconsistent with strength. An angry man who suppresses his passions thinks worse than he speaks; and an angry man that will chide SDeaks worse than he thinks. Strangling Widows in Fiji. There is no uniformity of custom in Fiji, so that no description of what is done by any one tribe can betaken as applicable to all the others. The strang ling of widows, however, that they may be buried with their husbands, seems to have been everywhere practiced. Tin widow's brother performs the operation and is thenceforward treated with marked respect by his brother-in-law's kinsfolk, who present hira with a piece of land, over which the strangling cord is hung up. Should he, however, fail to strangle his sister, ho U despised. When a woman is about to be strangled, fcho is made to kneel down, and the cord (a strip of native cloth) is put round her neck. She is then told to expel her breath as long as possible, and when she can endure no longer to stretch out her hand as a signal, whereupon tho (Mi d is tightened and soon all is over. It is believed that if this direction be followed insensibility ensues immedi ately on the tkihtening of the cord, whereas if inhalation has taken place there is an interval of suffering. The Little Ones. Oh, when at dawn the children wake, And putter up and down the stairs, The flowers and leaves a glory take, The rosy light a splendor shares That neverniwe these oyes would see, If my sweet ones were gone from me. And when at eve they watch and wait To fold me in thoir arms so white, My burdens, whether small or great, Are charmed away by calm dolight; And, shutting out the world, I live Tho purest moments lifa can give. But when at bed-time round me kneol Weo, tendec, loving, white-robed forms, With hand npraised in fond appeal Ah, then are hushed life's weary storms, And heaven seems very near to me, With my sweet darlings round my knee! Baldwin' Monthly. ITEMS OF INTEREST. The only difference we can see just now between fish and mosquitoes is that mosquitoes will bite. Modem Arqo. The head of an empty barrel in the corner grocery may support tin curb stone orator, but it won't feed his family. Waterloo Observer. Oh, wad some power the gillie gie u, To treat the mosquito as tho mosquito treats us, It would frae manifold sufferings lree us, And givo. our nails a chance to grow. Sandie Slone. All endeavors to bring the domestic fly to that desirable state of tamencss which would prompt him to sit on the window-sill instead of your ear, have proved futile. At a celebration back in the country a female orator arose and began : " This is our 104th anniversary." A wicked young man away back in the crowd yelled out : " Good gracious ! you don't look that old." Modern Argo. An Atlanta girl who reads the news papers was proposed to recently by a nice young man. She reflected a mo ment and then asked for time to pre pare her letter of acceptance. Evidently she proposes to formulate her own platform. " Has the cooking book any pictures ?" asked a young lady of a bookseller. " Not one," replied the dealer in books. " Why," exclaimed the witty mi3s, "what is the use of telling us how to make a dinner it you give us no plates? Lowell Hun- - The other day a swarm of bees lit on a pear tree, and the boy who bargained todrive them off with a horsewhip hasn't got eyesight enough to see whether his sister's fellow kisse3 her on the porch, or hurriedly deposits the thing smack on her lips. Owego Bccord. Little Robby came home with his new hat limp as a dishcloth. "For good ness' sake!" cried his mother, "where have you been?" Hobby began to whimper as he replied : " A feller threw ray hat into the frog pond."" "Oh, Robbj !" exclaimed his sister, " you threw it in yourself. I Eaw you do it!" " Well," said Hobby, contemptuously, " ain't I a feller i" Boston Transcript. A man may be as wise as King Solomon in all his glory; he may achieve fame in the highest walks of life ; his eloquence may resound through the halls of Congress, and he may be the most honored man in the whole coun try; he may be all and have all this, and yet when he wishes to ascertain how many days there are in any certain month, there is no help for it, he must repeat with the least of U3 the ancient rhyme beginning : "Thirty days hath September." Itomc Sentinel. A Forest Disappears. An occurrence, which may be par tially or wholly attributable to the rude shakings which Switzerland has re cently undergone, is reported from Quarten, in the canton of St. Gall. A' short time ago the people in the neigh borhood noticed signs of uneasiness about tho Schnebelberg. The summit of the mountain appeared to be in a precarious position, and it was feared that it might slip elown and overwhelm the Schnebelwald, an extensive wood in the valley below. In anticipation of a possible catastrophe, great ellorts were made to cut down and carry away as many trees as possible, though the men engaged in the work wrought at the peiil of their lives. A few days ago, when fortunately there was nobody in the wood, a deafening report, like the firing of heavy artillery, resounded through tho valley, and the mountain was hidden from view by a thick cloud of dust. When it dispersed the Schne belberg was seen to be shorter by a few meters, and the beautiful wood in the Murgthal had disappeared beneath a Jiuge avalanche of stones and earth. ProIUs n Wall Street. It is the brokers who make money in the street, says a New York correspond ent. Margins may come, and margins may go, but commissions go on for ever. The average of a day's busi ness nowadays is 300,000 shares. Tho broker that sells 100 shares gets an eighth per cent, of tho par value, or 50 for doing so, and the broker who buys gets the same commission. It costs, therefore, $25 to turn a hundred shares, or $75,000 to turn 300,000 shares, and this sum is abotti the average paid for commissions daily. It is distributed between about eight hundred active members of tho exchange, which gives an averago. of nearly $100 apiece. Of course some of the larger commission houses get tho bulk of the business, but oven tho modest brokers mako a fair living. I saw the balance-sheet of a firm of smart young fellows who oc cupy a New street basomi nt, for the fis cal year ending July 1, and it shewed a clean profit of ifcsiO.WO; but List year was the liveliest ever known in Wall ktrttt.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers