Jk forest tphlm. 18 PUBLISHED LVKHY WEDNESDAY, BT 'sr. as. wmivit, OFHCE 15 EOBINSOH & BONNER'S BUILDnfQ ELM STEEET, TIONESTA, PA. TEBM8, $1.60 A TEAR. No Subscriptions reived for a hirtei irlod Hum throe month. Correspondence ii t-1 trom hII tnrts of tho country. No notleo will ho taken of anonymous etninuniratinns. Rates of Advertising. On Square (1 Inch,) one Insertion -OneSquare " onoinoiii h -One Square " throe inontlm -One Square " ono j eiir - -Two Squares, one year ... Quarter Col. " - - .rUi ..... fi 00 10 00 - .",.) 00 - ;,() 00 - 100 00 Half " " One " " Legal notices at established rates. Marriage and death notices, gratis. All bill for yearly a ', V, neii r !. leeted quarterly. Temporary udvenwi inents tn).;t 1 f j i 1 f'r in !'!vane. Job work, (.'a-di on Delivery. VOL. XII. NO, 23. TIONESTA, PA., AUGUST 27, 1879. $1.50 Per Annum. K - 7 An Old'IIen's I nst " Lay." Onae n iniui ol great invention ' Made a nest ior lions to lay in, With a moan docoitlul bottom, Tlint would slide and lot the egg out Falling through a small aperture Then would slide and close the hole up; And ho" sold it to tho owner Ol a lion, the boss producer Ol most delicate " hon lruitage." Now the lion was mighty gritty, And she spread horseli to do it, So sho lui j an egg enormous; Then arose in great elation, ' With hor feathers all a-fluttcr, And her body all a-cackle, And she said, "as sure as shooting, . I have laid an egg exceeding My niimt sanguine oackloations, Fur beyond my eggpectution. - Whore's that cu'g? May stars and garters ' In the name ol all Kvo's daughter Can I not holieve my souses T Surely I have not gone crazy! Well, if this don't boat the diokon, May I never hatch a chicken." I.onj sho pondered o'er the matter, O'er this strange hallucination, O'er this most complete deception; Then she squared down to business, And bho laid another a vit, Though of 0 jurso it was a-uitssiug, Though she scratched around the litter, In her effort to espy it. H;it why m iko the story longer T 'Hum in fatal repetition, Ol this eggy operation, Fussed (lie day until tho veiling, Wiif a the owner eauio to Hud her, ' Found her naught except her wattles, I lull' her bill and some pin feathers, While within the bos beneath them, Where t hat tooling slide had dropped them, Found he eggs a hall-a-bushel. Gone, horoio Ilonawatha! Died she in the neat ol duty, Victim ot man's vile deception. Surely she must havo interment With that ileal as her sepulchre, For she layed hureelt within it. Cincinnati (Irange Bulletin. HOW AN 'ADVERTISEMENT WAS ANSWERED. "A middle-aged lady would like io become housekeeper in a small fami'y during tins winter months. No wagi required; best of references given.1' This singular advertisement met 1n eyes one morning while 1 sat alone, at the breakfwt-table, reading the Dailj Item. Two of the children were sick, - nu i inelliciont servant added to our trouble, my wife's health had neat ly given vu under her housekeeping cares, and every thing seomed to mo on that speci li morning going to the dogs. "My situation was a good one, and my salary fair, but then the doctor's bill wero unusually large, and our cook . wasteful, because Mary that's my wife could not attend to her kitchen and take care of the sick children at the same time. Alary, allow me to say here, is one of the sweetest of aweet women, not only in face, expression and manners, but in taste, in dress, and all the etceteras that make a man's home the best plaPo this side of heaven. She thoroughly enjoyed evervthincr that I-did art. music, liter ature, and, during the first two years of our married lite, we wero literally in paradise. I gave not one rpgretful thought to my old companionships, al though I had numbered, among my fiends some of the best fellows in town, and b.ad been very fond of society. Then the little ones came, and they were welcome ; but troubles in the shape . of accidents, illness, constant and petty cares, came with them. Jack, our eldest, was now sev.en ; " Tom, - -five; Alice. 6ur fairy little girl, three; and the little crib in the room up stairs lipid a rosy beauty who did nothing but sleep. Tom and Jack, however.were healthy, energetic and consequently troublesome. Mary managed them with a firm hand until scarlet fever took up its pestilent abode with us for nearly two months. Mary grew .thin and white with ' watching and anxiety, for our two noble, hand -some boys archer idols; and since the fever 'left them with many a little ailment which could only be removed with care and time, the tender-hearted -woman had ftirgotteu almost everything but their welfare. Hence the cook had her own sweet will, not only in the kitchen, but about the house, and, to tell the truth, it was neither comfortable nor pleasant for me. Only the day before, the doctor had said that the boys would require constant attention all through the winter. What was to be done, there fore, but submit to its verdict? The consequence was that I a e my meals de pri voa of the light ol Mary's countenance that. Marv herself was crowing more -and more hollow-eyed, and looked no ! lonVjir like the neat, trim little lady, so amttous to bo the ali-jn-all in a hus band's partial eyes. "If I only had a sister or an aunt," she often said, "you would not oe so . lonely; but you married a woman with out relations." For which though I did not tell her so I hope I am rfonably thankful. One morning hy-the-bye it was-the very morning I had read the advertisement--my wife came panting to the table, a smijjng cherub in her arms, and eat down tocher cold coffee trying t smile. I had marked the advertiseo ment in the Item with my pencil, and -now I laid it before her. She read it, and her face brightened. " What do you think of seeing this woman!'" 1 asked. " She only soi'iiu to want a home during the hard times, and we are able to afford that, I hop If she can oversee the house and legislate' the cook, and give you more time to at tend to th boys your humble servant includes himself" I added, laughing, " what a blessing she will be!" " I dislike to think or" a stranger com ing to tho house,'' said Mary. f " So do 1 : but, remember, in a little time she will no longer be a stranger; besides, if sho is a capable woman, sho will take entire charge of the premises. Of course, we needn't have her if wo don't like her appearance or her refer ences." After a tew more talks Mary concluded to send for the woman, and, accordingly, dispatched n letter as the advertisement required; "Well," said my wife, on my return that day, "sho came, she saw, sho con quered." " Rather Cesarean," said I. " I trust she is not a general in petticoats. Tell me all about it;" and I seated myself opposite tin cozy sitting-room fire, be ginning to dread the intrusion of a third party. "She camo hero about noon." said Mary, "a peculiar, prim looking wo man, in a plain traveling-dress. Her taco and manner prepossessed me in her favor, and, according to her own ac count, she certainlv is a very capable person. Only think that she can play the harp and piano, and is very well educated !" v "Worse and worse," thought I; and then sa;d aloud : " Hut what about refer ences P" Her principal reference is Judge Nelson, and he lives in Ohio." " All right. I know his brother very well; he is a practicing lawyer here. I'll write to the judge and speak to the advocate, and between them both we shall probably get a satisfactory certifi cate." The funniest part of this veracious narrative is that I did neither, but al lowed the matter to drift away from my memory altogether. "Well, did you engage her?" I asked. "On tho whole, I thought 1 had bet ter. She can come here and stay awhile, and if we suit each other, of course she will remain. In fact, we must have somebody ; your comfort must be looked after. As it is, she is at some expense, as boarding, of course, uses up what lit tle money she may chance 'to have. 1 told her to come to-morrow and get a little used to the house. Did 1 do right P" " I am inclined to think you did," was my reply, "Best to have the strange ness over as soon as possible.'' ."But there's one thing I ani sure you won't like," said Mary, after a brief silence. " Well, what's that P" I asked. " She wears spectacles." " Horror!" w:is my rejoinder. "Blue ones!" " Worse and worse !" " I knew just how you would feel ; but she has very pleasant eyes under them, and she thinks she may soon lie able to dispense with them altogether." " Then I will endeavor to endure ties infliction with the best grace I can. How does she look P" " That's a woman's question, and I shan't answer," said my wife, laughing. " However, I will say that she i3 tail and fair, with blue eyes, blue dress and a blue veil." "Blue seems to be the prevailing color," I said ; and there the conversa tion stopped, tea being brought in. On the following day I came home lo company. In other words, I was intro duced to Miss Campsted, and by stealth took an inventory of her charms, for the lady was. rather good-looking. She wore a small, plain cap and the blue spectacles aforesaid The hair, put smoothly back, showed ripples on the surface; the features were small and regular, but at first I was not pleased with their expression, though I could not ha ve told why. The dominant thought with me was that Mary could rest, and, with a mind w holly at ease, give herself up to the care of her little ones for a season. For a few weeks things went on as smoothly ns I could desire. Tho coffee speedily improved in color and flavor, the tea was delicious. Little entrees made their appearance which before our circumstances had not seemed to war rant. The table was always in order, even at times decorated with flowers, and the work was well done, and as if performed by some invisible agency. " Harry, she is positively a treasure," said my wife to me, one evening, after we had, retired to our room. " I have so much more time, now, to attend to baby and the children. Miss Campsted is an admirable manager, ana she has some very nice-looking people to visit her." "Has she many visitors?" I asked " I thought she talked es if she were a stransrer here." " Now and then one richly dressed", almost too richly," my wito aimed, in a hesitating voice, "liut then we don't visit, and really know nobody. Sho has a brother, too." "A brother!" I cried, more and more surprised. " She to.d me she had no re lations here." " Well, ho wasn't hero till vosterdav. when ho returned from California. I caught a glimpse of him as ho went down street and he is really a majestic- looking man. " Oh, this will never do," I said, im patiently. " We are not rich, but there is considerable silver in tho house, and some little gold in tho way of watches and chains, which ate, besides, valuable as heir-looms. I don't like the visitors I don't like the brother." " Now vou are susmciouM ana un kind," said Mary. " I would trust her with everything in t e house, even my husband," she added, laughing. "And though she calls herself middle-aged, and perhaps 6ho is some women wear so well sho looks almost like a young girl with her cap and spectacles off, and her hair dressed dillerently. You will see, for I have persuaded her to dispense with both to-morrow." To-morrow presented Miss Campsted as a young lady of perhaps twenty-two or three not a year older, according to appearance and yet yesterday she looked forty. Tho ripple in her hair ran fo a curl now. lhe spectacles gone, disclosed beautiful eyes fringed with lonjr. soft lashes. She noticed my look of sur prise, and smiled as she said : 1 havo worn cans since I was thirtv. but your wife has persuaded mo to leave them off for a while. Do you, too, think it an improvement?" "I certainly do, was my reply, "for hate caps and abominate spectacles." " What a fright I must have appeared in your eyes, then!" sho said, sweetly, which speecli necessitated a compli mentary answer, and made me feel ex cessively silly. ller brother dined there one day. He was a heavy, handsome, well-read fel low, apparently young and very clever. "Would you cbiect to my brothers presence at dinner to-day?" soon became a regular form of request. What could I do? Her brother was good company, played the piano, violin and llute with skill, talked well, and al most before I knew it, I was supporting him as well as his sister. His conversation entertained me. and though my better judgment protested against the encroachment, still I allowed it until it was impossible to say no. Mary occupied herself more and more with the children, who continued ailing and nervous. Gradually sho withdrew herself from our circle on the plea ot work for the little ones, and one thins md another, all of which excuses I al lowed to convince me. Unconsciously I began to look forward to the pleasant after-work hours. Miss Campsted read, sanz and plaved equally well. Always she deferred to my judgment, sang my songs, read from my favorite authors. Her brother was qually ready to talk, or to nd to the imusementof the evening. I became accustomed to this interest- ins partnership. Sometimes Marv stole in to sit with us a while, and then stole mt again. I knew she was not my Marv as of old, but I laid it to her cares. Nor did I nctice that her eyes grew languid, her movements slow ; that she seldom smiled, that her merry, silvery laugh never rang out as of yore. I did not dream that she was fast be coming a prey to insidious disease. lour wite Is not well." said Miss Campsted, on one occasion. " She de votes herself too constantly to her nursery cares. I often beg her to let me assist her, or take her place for a while, but she will never allow me. Sho does not do herself justice, do you think? A wite had better forget "her hildrcn than neglect nearer ties." " What do you mean, Miss Camp ted?" I asked, turning toward her. Something in her manner in her voice made me angry. My wile," said 1, in cool. nieasumU tones, "forgets nothing no one; it is her duty to remember!'' "Oh, ot course! Fray pardon me. Mrs. Blair is most lovely! Pray nrav forgive me, and understand me. It was solicitude for her welfare, and anxiety ro relieve ner 01 some 01 ner daily nur dens, that made me speak." blie put up her hands, white and shapely, with an appealing gesture, and 1 saw what makes any man a fool lor tho time tears on her hushes. " Why do you talk of offendina: me?" I said, half-lauiihins. half-distressed. " I thought you spoke of my wife in rather a thoughtless manner; but, of course, you cannot comprehend her anxiety with sickly, nervous children." " Indeed. I meant nothing hut for her good. At least at least I sympathized with your loneliness, and felt so sorrv for your wife." she murmured, confusedly. " Oh, Mary and I can take care of each other," was my reply. Did the small arrow she had let fly annoy me? I think it did, on reflection, but not in the way she intended. I thought ot Alary s increasing pallor, silence, alteration ; surely she was chang ing, but what had I to do with it? 1 never thought to ask what had Miss Campsted to do with it. Mary grew worse, Tho doctor said it was some disease of the ne?-ves. Miss Campsted was full of solicitude. She and her handsome brother were very at tentive. When I went into the hall Miss Camn- sted contrived to be there to bid me good-morning. I never thought of her now as middie-aged. She appeared to me, gradually, to becomo 1111 imperti nent, forward young person. Uno memorable day shall I ever for get it? I went up stairs to sav some thing that had escaped my recollection, alter my usual visit to Mary's room. I found my wife weeping hysterically, with all the children grouped about her and crying in chorus. "For Heaven's Bake, Mary, what has 1 Alt T . . V.. '. nappeneur 1 cried, lightened almost out ot my wits. Uon t stay, Harry," she gasped : " it does me no good. I am better alom Go down please go down." "But I'm not going down or out, leav ing you in this state," I said, throwing down hat and bundles and trying to take ner in my arms. But she resisted my tenderness " No matter lor me," she sobbed. " I shall be better soon out of the way, per haps." "Marv, darling," I said, at my wits' end, " if you won't let mo stay, at least tei mo send juiss Uampstcd up. " That woman! cried my wife, with hysterical anguish " no! Do you want her to poison me? It is had enough that she has ruined my home." I wa thunderstruck. "Poison you! ruined your home! Miss Campsted! What do you mean. Marv r Are you crazy? I thought you considered her invaluable," J n I repeated, still dazed and nervous "Invaluable!" murmured Mary, great tears running down her pale cheeks; "can I like a serpent? Can 1 like one who has stolen lroiu me all that made my lif'i blessed my husband's love? I hate her! Go! go! She has told me, oh, such miserable things! Leave me; Miss Campsted is down stairs," and (die fell to shuddering. I have heard that an innocent man al ways has his weapons about him. I don't believe it. At all events, it was not so in my case. So obtuse and con fused was I at this entirely new phase of matters that it took a minute and twenty seconds before the real import of her words reached my consciousness. I am quite positive of that fact, for mechanic ally I was following with my eye the hands of the clock in the corner. "Then it dawned on me by degrees, and Mary, after a while, told mo a pitiful story. My wife, my one crown of glory, my idolized Mary, had been subjected to the most cruel of all tortures that of hear ing her husband's words and actions misrepresented, stories manufactured, lies cunningly invented. I no longer wondered that my poor wife felt a dread and abhorrence for the creature, which no language could ex press, or even feared for her life in the presence of such a viper. The strangest thing to me was, then irr truth, always will be that Mary did not tell me of these things ; but a foolish fear of being thought jealous, and some thing also of pride and the sensitiveness of her nature, sealed her lips. In my nngcr I suppose I rather over stepped the bounds of prudence in my next interview with the fascinating Miss Campsted, as some of my friends called her. I had a grand opportunity of wit nessing the uncontrolled fury of a wo man whose vileness had been prema turely unmasked. Never, even upon the stage, have I seen such a perfect piece of acting. Trouble never comes singly, they say. I-had given Miss Campsted warning, when a person whom 1 had reason to believe was a detective entered my house. In an instant Miss Campsted grew pale and quiet, and begged me to allow her to see the gentleman alone. Of course I consented, keeping strict guard, however, outside the door. For some time the conversation went on in a low tone; then, gradually, Miss Canipsted's voice changed to entreaty. Sobs followed and bitter weeping. Suddenly in came Fred Campsted, whistling softly an air from one of the operas. Seeing me in the hall, apparently oil guard, he started, slowly hung up his hat, took it down again, asked for his sister, and seemed very much surprised when I told him she had company. " You had better go in," I said, " for I fear she is in trouble. ' "Oh, hang it!" was his rough re sponse, "she's always in trouble. I have an errand down town, and must be excused." He turned, and there, facing him, standing on the doorstep, was another detective. How long had they been watching my house y l he man looked like a tiger. He gave one bound, but in that moment two ofti- ers were upon him ; then he seized his pistol, which was snugly concealed, and lired. other secured the prisoner and brought him, bound and raving horribly, into the house. " Do you know, sir?" asked one of the detectives, afterward, " that this house has been a rendezvous for thieves dur ing the past six months?" flow should 1, absent all day? How was I to be made aware that our cook had been bought from time to time with heavy bribes to allow tho ingress of packages of great value P How did I know that Miss Campsted brought three immense Saratoga trunks with her, professing that they had been lore in her charger After that we examined those same trunks, wherein property was found oneealed to the amount of forty or fifty thousand dollars silks, velvets, dia monds and jewels. One ol these packages a very small one l looked upon with gi-eat distrust. It was taken with the other things to the station-house, and found to be a machine calculated to destroy both life and property, for it was tilled with ex plosive materials, and opened by igno rance or chance, life would most cer tainly have been the forfeit. To tins day l look with distrust upon such advertisements us the one taint heads this story ; and though that was probably the single exception in a thou sand, no earthly power could induce me to repeat the experience. And it, alter a long search alter some article not to be found, we conclude to give it up, we place it to the account of the fascinating Miss Campsted. AUoinanee Unearthed by an Advertise ment. A Washington letter says: P. J. Donahue, a lawyer of this city, has tiled a petition iu the supreme court on behalf of Thomas McLaughlin, of New York, Jane McLaughlin, of Brooklyn, Michael McLaughlin, of South Carolina, Cath erine Kgan, ot New York, Philip Mc Laughlin, of Providence, K. I., and Archibald McLaughlin, of New York, being the brothers and sisters and heirs of Jane Howard, deceased. The prop erty to be divided is a plot of valuable building lots in the most aristocratic iior tion of Washington. The death of Mrs. Howard has always been wrapped in mystery. In the early part of May last the discovery was made that Jane How ard, who had lived alone and louowed the life ot a hermitess, almost denying herself tho necessaries of life, and whose vocation was fortune telling, had disap peared. Her absence created alarm, and upon breaking open the door of her mis erable shanty an appalling sight met the gaze of the police officers. Upon the squalid bed lay the body of the old lady. from which life had evidently departed some ten or twelve days previously; it was decomposed and partially eaten by rats. By the charity of friends and neighbors the remains were decently in terred, and an advertisement was insert ed for possible relatives. Through this medium the above persons were prompt ly heard from. It is said they have un doubted proof of their heirship, and the property will bo sold and the proceeds divided among them. TIMELY TOriCS. Tho tea sellers and crockery dealers of New York city have been at swords' point. The various tea dealers in that city have been engaged in giving away various articles of crockery and glass ware to their customers, as an extra in ducement to purchase tea. Pretty soon the crockery sellers found their sales were decreasing on account of this action of the tea sellers and thev remonstrated, but without effect. Thereupon the crockery dealers held a meeting and re solved to sell tea and coffee from their stores at strictly wholesale prices ! Irish bids fair to be put upon the list with the " dead " languages. In a paper recently read before the Lohdon Statisti cal Society, it was stated that in 1871 the area in which Irish was spoken had decreased from 10,000 square miles in 1851 to 6,000, while the number of peo ple speaking it had decreased during the same twenty years from 1,500,000 to 000, 000, of whom less than 400,000 spoke Irish only. It is also said that through out Ireland there are jiow probably not 5,000 persons who can read an Irish book, and not a single Irish paper is being published in the country. M. Lacerdo has given much attention to the character and effect of the venom of the rattlesnake. The poison seems to be of the nature of a ferment. Tho red corpuscles of the blood of animals bitten by a snake begin to display small bril liant points on the surface, which in crease rapidly in number, and then the globules unite with each other, forming a paste which cannot circulate through the veins. Affected blood, if introduced into the circulationjof other animals, will produce the same symptoms and fatal termination as original virus. The author believes that the best antidote lor snake-poisoning is alcohol, which may be given to the patient to drink or may be administered subcutancously. Professor Grote thinks that the Indian corn plant originally grew wild on the slopes of the ltocky mountain region, and on the sides of the valley of the Col orado. It was cultivated by the early men of that region, who were Astatic emigrants in pre-glacial times. The cliff dwellers and mound builders cul tivated maize. The plant was proba bly at first single-eared, and the grain smaller. Professor Grote believes that its present yield might be sUll increased by planting corn from plants producing the largest number of ears, so that final ly a more numerously-eared varietv may lie introduced. Experiments in the inoculation of horsc-pox have been made by some k rench savant. In the early part of this year there was an epidemic of horse-pox in some parts oi n ranee. A white horse having been selected for the experiment, its virus was carefully collected, and ven young soldiers who had never been vaccinated were inoculated with it. Up on six of these subjects it proved sue cessful. Four of these wero made use of for the inoculation of sixty-four other men, eight ot whom had never been vaccinated. The result was that iu forty cases characteristic pustules were obtained. Then a number of calves were inoculated, and theii virus was used for vaccination ; but in this case ther wero only forty-eight per ccntof successful cases, and in the former ex periments there were sixty-four per cent. This seems to show that the horse pox virus is weakened by passing through the calf system. A man employed on the farm of Wil liam Potter, in Sassafras Neck, Cecil county, Md., wasilislodged from his po sition on the platform of a steam thresher by a wagon being driven close alongside. Another workman was standing near him holding a three-pronged fork with the prongs upward. Workman No. 1 was forced either to fall upon the licit of the thresher, in which case he would have been thrown into the machine, or upon the fork. in tho hands of his fellow workman. He chose tho latter course. One prong of the fork struck him under neath the chin, and glancing from the bone, ran through the lower and upper lipsand out about the cheek bone. Willi some effort upon the part of both men the fork was drawn out, when the wounded man sank to the ground. Ho discon tinued work for the remainder of the day, but was at his post the next morn ing. Newspapers mid Knowledge. Newspapers of the present day, re marks a New York paper, contain ar ticles upon subjects in science, literature ai.d art, which twenty-live years ago no editor would have ventuwd to publish. This fashion has itsobjectionable points. It tends to encourage superficiality, to engender conceit, and to lead incompe tent persons to form opinions upon very insufficient knowledge. But on the whole its tendency is good. A little knowledge is not dangerous unless it is misused; and all knowledge, however great, must lie little in its beginning. The fashion of administering literature, science and art in small and simple doses brings great numbers of people under their inlluenee who otherwise would re main without a tincture of any ono of j them. People who would not touch any bound book but a novel will read a little paper-bound pamphlet or a maga zine article, or if not equal to one of these, an article in a newspaper upon a subject in which they would otherwise remain in absolute ignorance. In this way thought is stimulated and the appe tite for knowledge provoked. This isono of the means by which tho present time has become one of such general intellec tual activity. The mind of the world at large lias been excited to action by little books on great subjects. " It you want to get at the circumfer ence of a man," says Josh Billings, "ex amine him among men; but if you want tewgetathiz aktual diameter, measure him at hiz fireside." Wanted. Wanted a man, good, honest and brave, Who doth all tho vices eschew, Who'll battle undaunted his honor lo save, To hiniHolf and his fellow men, true. Wanted a woman, no feminine taino, Like fashion and prejudice make, A creature of tolly, just woman in name. But a woman, as God did create. Wanted a friend, that shall stand by our side' When lriends and prosperity speed; E'en faithful through all though others deride, A Iriend that's a friend in our need. Wanted a Christian, one who can feel For the sinner, who ever he bo, Who'll pray with tho sot, with tho Magdalen kneel From schisms and hypocrisy lree. Wanted sweet truth, and constancy rare, And faith, of a tangible shape, And justice, aud mercy, and charity lair, This earth a bright Eden to make. Modern .if go. ITEMS OF INTEREST. A strong-minded woman will he speaker of the house. al.vay Marrying a woman for her beauty is like eating a bird fcr its singing. A man in Liverpool recently died from the effects of a bite on the finger, inllict ed by a drunken woman. The Zulus cannot comprehend revol vers, and never take them from the dead bodies of their English foes. An editor in Memphis thinks that there is but one cure for yellow fever and that is flight, vigorously applied. Free Press. A street sensation of St. Louis, re cently, was a woman 117 years old look ing for her lost daughter, a giddy young thing of seventy. "That's a relation of yours, isn't it P" said a man to his wife, at the same time pointing to a donkey. " Yes, by mar riage," was her st inging reply. The Detroit Free Press lias discovered that one pailful of hot water will clear a corner of loafers quicker than four po licemen, and at much less expense. Never tell a man who is using a restor ative that his hair is coming out nicely ; such a compliment might seem some what ambiguous. American Punch. Tobacco enn by grown in every ono of the States of .the Union. The annual production is now 40,000,000 pounds, valued at $33,000,000 in it3 unmanufac tured state. The Tribune is publishing a series of papers on "The A II C of Finance." The P A Y ( J of Finance can be con densed into four words, P-ay A-s Yr-pu G-o. Albany Journal. Albert Victor and George Frederick, sons of the Prince of Wales, were known by the nicknames of " Sj rat 11 and " Her ring " on board the training ship Brit tania, where they recently completed the course with high honors. "Doctor," said a lady patient, " 1 suf fer a great deal with my eyes." The old gentleman adjusted his spectacles, and with a Socratic air replied, " I do not doubt it, my friend ; but then you ought not to forget that you would suffer more without them." They wero out driving. Said Theo dore, "What tree, Angelina, bears the most precious I'ruitP" Angelina Oh, Dory, I can't tell, unless it is a cherry tree!" Theodore looked unutterable sweetness ns he gaze.l into Angelina's eyes and said, "The axle-tree, darling." Joaquin Miiler says: "If you were to take a newspaper in your hand and crumple it up and then spread it out again," the creases in it might fairly rep resent the streets and lanes and alleys of London, so angular, so awkward and ir'vjuVr is this, the greatest ot all cities oriiie earth." Two sons of the Siamese twins, Chang and Eng. are now living in Sumner county, Kansas. They recently appeared in the United States land office, at Wichita, in a contest in which one of them was a defendant and the other was a witness. They are spoken of as intel ligent, wide-awake citizens, and fully up to the spirit of t he times. A dead African eagle was lately found at Maina, on the southern Greek coast. On examining the uird an iron-headed arrow over a foot long wis found Uans lixed under one of the wings. Evidently the eagle had been lired at and struck in Africa by some native, and had borne the arrow in its body in its long flight over the Mediterranean until it fell dead from exhaustion on touching land at Maina. A shin carpenter at Belfast, .Me., has corcluded to spend the rest of his life in a ( bail-. When wages were reduced he declined to work any longer, and seated himself in a rocking-chair near his Fitting-room window. There ho remains all day long, only rising to go to his meals or to lied. His chair rockers have worn grooves in the Hour, and on the window-sill, where he drums idly as he rocks to and fro, are the imprints of his lingers. He is supposed to have some savings on whii h he and his wife live. Wants Is to Lat Our Fund Raw. A German physician in relation to food as bet wye 11 animal and vegetable holds that " both vegetarians and meat eaters are on the wrong track. Vegeta bles are not more wholesome than meat or meat tian vegetables, and noth ing is gained by consuming a com pound of both Whatever nutritive qualities they may possess," he says, "are destroyed in great measure and often entirely by the process of cooking. All food should be eaten raw. If this practice were adopted there would be little or no iilness among human beings. They would live their apportioned time and simply fadeaway, like animals in a wild state, from old age." It is hardly probable that he will find many civilized being to fall into his views of eating everything raw."
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers