N ItV WAMTEO TO BE AN ITOR. "IlaTe you htd any experience in the business V we asked of a verdant looking youth who applied for an edi torial position the other day. "Haven't I, though T" he replied, a he shoved ooe foot under hie chair to hide the uuskillful patching of a backwoods cobbler. "I should ear I'd bad some experience haven't l corresponded with Ths"Pumplinville Screamer for six weeks? Hain't that experience enough V , "That will do very well." we re plied, but when we take young men on our editorial staff w,e generally put them through an examination. How much is twelve times one T" 1 "Twelve 1" Why, any little boy ought to an " "Hold on, please don't he too fast who discovered America?" "Klunibust Pshaw, then questions is jnst as easy as " "Who was the first roan T" "Adam T Why, mister, I . know all" . "What was his other name?" "His other uame ? Why, he didn't have noBe." "Yes, he did. You see that's where we've got you. His other name was Ebenerer OEbenerer Adam, Esq., late of Palestine. Nobody knows that but editors, and see to it that you don't .tell anybody." t t 1 i He said he wouldn't. . . "How many bones are there in the human body f" 1 "Well, I forget new; . I did know - "What! Don't yon know that? Why there's 7,482,657.244 bones iu an 'ordinary man. A man that snores has one more bono than other peo ple." t- - , , t. "What bone is thHt 7" "The trombone. It's situated some where in the nose. You won't forget that, will your v He said he wouldn't. ' . ' ' "How long will it take a mud tur tle to cross the desert of Sahara with a small orphan boy to touch him up oeuiQu wr.n a red not poser r "Well, look here, mister, if I had a elateand pencil I could figger that out, but dog my skin if I'm much on mental 'rithmetic." "Slate and pencil 1 Did you ever see a state aca pencil about a sanctum! c Nonsense, Well, we'll let that ques- tion slip. Have you got a good con stitution 7" "Putty tolerable." "How long do you suppose you eould live on raw corn and faith and do the work of a domesticated ele phant 7" "Lord I I don't believe I could tand it more n a week." "Well, that's about as long as you'd ' want to live if you got an editorial position on this paper. You appear to be pretty well posted. We shall ask you one more question, and if vou prove equal to it you can take off your coat ana sail in. "Ijets have 'er squire. I didn't correspond with The Pumpkinville tereamtr sir weeks for nothiu'. Let'er come I m on deck. I am. "Well, sir, if two diametrical cir cles with octagonal peripherics should collide with a centrifugal idiosyncrasy, or, to put it plainer, we'll say a dis enfranchised nonentity what efl'oct would toe catastrophe exert on crystal iied codfish suspended bv the tail from U8 homogeneous rafters of me empyrean J -- . As the full force of this non.Wom ' Tiroblem hroks iirmn hia ki;!,ll - vwaK . ra biVll. a VVS rain, he slowly dragged his inirtist- lcauy oobbled aboe iron under the chair and started from the room. V heard him descend the stairs, go out, ana ciose tne uoor. We then placid ly resumed our duties, regretting, that so promising a youth should have been Weighed lu the hala nc and found wanting. Franklin (iV. II.) -i utrioa. He was. on his knees to her. nis race was flushed, his eyes gleamed pas sionately into hers ; he talked rapid ly: ."Nothing shall separate us ever more. mT (farlinir Vnr ., I. - l ... 7 -------a," . j vim nil 4 will beard the lions den I I will face death on the battle-field ! I will skim the seas! I will endure all hardship, all suffering, all miser !" He paused end looked eerlv at his eves.' "Will you do all this for the sake uiujyiovei saia she, gazing carues- j iuw tui uurnmg eyes. "Yes, yes; a thousand times yes!" "i "?d ,f we wed" 8aiJ bhe iluahim slightly, "will you get up first in thi morning aad build the fire?" . With a shriek of despair ke fiod ! A private in an Irish regimen engaged in the dreadful (,n!o , t e.i amanca, cried out during the hottest part of the action. ';Oh, murdher, murdher, I'm kilt juurcjyi "Are you wounded?" inquired at officer near him. "Wounded, is it yer honor?" re plied the gallant Emeraldur, "hi iabers. I'm worse than nut ..nr out; vasu't 1 waiting for the last quarter of an hour for a puff at Jem Murphy's pipe, and there now it's shot .... - C I .. . L ft um oi ins uioum. Men w'il wrangle for religion, write ior it, ugnt lor it, die lor it; anytluo Lut live for it, JOB WORK PO.tK AT TH 'REPUBLICAN" OFFICE At ihe ioitwf etuh priees, neatly, prompt. ly, and in elyle . equal to that of any other tttabliihmtnl in the Dittriet. BUSINESS CARDS, SHOW CARDS, VISITING CARLE, SC. OOL CARDS WEDDING CARDS, PROGRAMMES, INVITATIONS, BALL TICKETS, ADMISSION TICKETS, MOXTllXY STATEMENTS, ENVELOPES BILL EAD3, LETTER nEADS, Y KOTE HEADS, CIRCULARS, BLANKS, POSTERS DODGERS, HANDBILLS, LABELS, SHIPPING TAGS, Ac STANDARD Fire and Burglar Counter, Platform, Wagon 4 Track Ben 4 far rrlc-I,l. Acnta M'nlo4, 3Iarvlns Safe Co.,x 2S5 Broadway, Kcw York, 721 Chestnut St, Phila. PENNSYLVANIA CEN TRAL RAILROAD ON AND AKTEH It P. P. 8unrtiT MV 1, 1870, Trains arrive at mul loiire tlin Union Dext, corner of WaHlitntou. and Laberty street, as miiowat ARK1VK. MrII Train, 1.S0 a m j Kast Lino, 12.12 a m ; Well's accommodation No. 1, 6.20 a m Rrinfon acooiumndntinn No 1, 7.60 a nj Wall's nxwmmo1ntion No 'J, 8.R5H in ;Cin elnnntl express 9.20 am; Johnstown ac commodation lO.f.0 a in ; Rrnrtdook's ac oommodation No 1, 7.00 pm; Pittsburnh express 1.30 p m; I'acilio express 1 JiO p in j Wall's accommodation No , 2.!iS p m ; Hoiiiowooii aovoininodntion No 1,9.5j pm; Wall's accommodiition No 4, tt.M p uij Printon accommodation No 2, 1.10 p m( Way rn8pngor 10.20 p ru. DKPAltT. Southern express 5.20 a ni ; Pnotrlo ex" rre 8.40 a in ; Wall's accommodntitm No , 6.30a m ; Mail Tniin N.10 a in i llrinton's accommmlation 13.20 a mi Urad.lix k's ac CommodHtion No 1,5.10 p in ; Cincinnati express 12.35 p m ; Wall's accommodation N 2, 11.81 am ; Johnstown accommodation 1.05pm; llomewood accommodation No 1. S.50 p m; Philadelphia express 3.50 n in; Wall accommodation No3,3.05p ni; Wall's accommodation No 4, 0.05 p in ; Fast Line 7.40 p m ; Wall's No 5, 11.00 p in. The Chnroh Trains leave Wall's ptailon every Sunday at 9.05 a. in., re:ichins Pitts burch at 10.05 a. m. lUitiirniiiK lcavy l'ltts ImrKh at 12.M) p. ni., and arrive at Wall's Station at 2.10 p. in. Cincinnati express leaves dilw South ern express daily except Mon.lay. All oth er Trains daily, except Sunday. For furthor'inibrmstion aply to W. IT. BErKWrril, Ajrent. The Pennsylvania Kailroad Company 111 not assume any Itisk for Hanto ex cept lor Wonrintr Annarel. and limit their rsponsihllity to Ono Ilundred Dollai val ue. Ail baizacaire exooedmg tljat a omit In value will lie at the risk of tno mcr, unless taken by special contract. A. J. CASSAl Ooneral Superintendent, Altoons Pa. 3?ITTSI3TJKC;iIf IA Tho folloivlntr list ntnlM-a.w. nnt. - . . . ... x j m iim, or our immense stock s MuzzJe-Loadln(f Rifles, full or half atock at $12, !5, 820, and Double Barral Rifles, tX) to $50. Double Rifles and ShotOuns, cillinrover and under, or side by Bidc.uiid at nil prices from tM to $50. Single-Bbrrel Shot Guns, .for men or boys: cheap safe uud durable. All prices to eacli. Double Barrel Shot Guns. Our fifty different styles, made of Iron, London Twist, Laminated Steel or Damas cus IJarrels. finished in the best and latest stylo, all slies, for men and boys, at prices o0, f7o to $100. PISTOLS.. la variety from $1.00 to $8.00. REVOLVERS, 4, 8, 8, or 7 shooters, of every kind, at all prices from $U.0O to $25.00. BREECH-LOADING RIFLES. W inchester Improved 18 shooter. Best long range gun iu the world. Price only Sharp's Celebrated Breoch-LoudiiiK IU fles only $10 each. Remington Hreeeh-Loading Ritlos at loest factory prices. Wiesaon'e and Stephen's Pocket Rifles ualmi metal eartridifes, at 12, $15 and $18. Breech-Loading Shot Guns. i Tf. Dexter Single ' Uarrol Brewth Load ing .Shot dun, usinn Brass shells price iJ) Stephens' 11. L. hinfcle fJun, $lrt , Double Barrel Breech Loadur.of Moore's Dean a W utHlhiU's, Greenen's, Uieliards'. Hcoot a and other line makos, at all price, from $00 to $3u0 each. SenJor Price Lift to J. II. JOIIYSTOA, GREAT WESTERN GUN WORKS, 285 LIBERTY STREET, PITTSBURGH, IY.. and state that saw this advertisement in 1HK Jr OR K.ST KEITBI.ICAS. .TANoTifuTI will buy or trade for Army Rincs.Carbmos. Revolvers, Ac. l'or prioes Bee Catulouo. Ordors by mail rocelve prompt attention. lioods sent by express to an v point C. (J. f4uio8Wd!X8minodbe('orepaid lor' tl,;u You Can Save IHoney By buying your PIANOS and ORiJANS from the undersigned Alanufactnrors' Atfent, fui tho lnt brands in the market Iuslruments shipped direct from tlio Fac tory. CHAS. A. SUCLTZ, Tuner, :i y .Lock lnx 17t, Oil itv, Pa. r Iniiiiciisc'ncdnctioii At the Wholesale and Retail err-. -s .--fj - i -.w S. HAMILTON & CO., 77 5T AVE., PITTSBURGH, PA OUR MOTTO IS AND HAS BEEN QUICK SALES AND SMALL PROFITS. we . l,n!,trl,mpnw K ur sales very orton exceed these iiiii lU.rsTn a s nX usvoVablvtLMdM,T.!J.U M evvJ r Bn "w,,t fi,r tb'y invariably Introduce us Moiaoiy Ui all who seo thom. Y e have sold aud iu use cooo ov THasos: OS? CJ AST o m'nanhSllf'l'' Jrl'iv'-e"son,ene-OrKan, the growth of a few prove Th. rim v"ole lhM nr" 't.v ll.ng'every ineritorious iml K tall '"V"?1"1 'n""'ns A Clomjh'a Combination Orirsns have been Or "an hL ' 1 0,,,y-,.,v" ;M. lo the Colobratotl Taylor A Parley Celeste" Organs have been iimnufactured over T cut v yours. A ml now lor the lmri.sse of In. Lamina!?, new Lndtorv"' "V"" Al -"untry tow.Wof Vheto coe la , l o th. r m .I1 .HXT ' ':!itr,uM "r Ulrii0 n'"o" f them, which we pr. poce 10 sell ou their merits, and without t beans Ut.iiuvtr.V(jK.TS OR MIlilil K mVv tiale. ,,tr hc,e Organs at tho following prices, at which we bhall sell lor a short n CABINET GASES, Double Reed, "4 Stop Organs, Regular Price, $U5.00 ai $ 85.00 5 " " 155.00 at 00.00 6 lG5.00at FULL RESOXANT CASES, Double Reed, 4 Stop Organs, Regular Price, $iG5.oo at 5 " 175.00 at G " " 185.00 at 21 sets Reeds 6 " Vox Humana " . 215.00 at 3 " 8 "Viola " 275.00 at Thndtn-iMn. .ra.ll il,.t!.l llf-l L ... .,.,, iianmi, riineung nna rarv ng a of Sol d Walnut. Vnl- her satv-dust moulding nor cheap bra:w trinket, are us-don these liu iruine severv thing U of the very best, and arc ail fully warranted for llvo 3 "art l"tru"-""M'r- TIIK DRAOBUIIY t XJKCXXr.rt PIAK03 WILL IiE SOLD AT THE SAME RATES OV DISCOUNT. Tho above are strictly cash prices, but if desired bv the purchaser eithir miarlrlv or semiannual payments wllf bo taken at an advance of 10 , "r c annuVn on the li ni i'ic ,f l,r80'i8 or.der,i"f by l't .n depen.l on tl.o u.l careful i," iZ b ,! i.g made If tho ca.sh pn be sent with tlio o.dcr, the Instrument w ill shf.. 1 1 v treigl t if not accompanied with the ca.,1,, the Orjmn Mill be shipped by Kxvro' C ti -11 tu" bo deei,r,)l. W nou with Boua sec-uritv, or alitWVl roBiceW Address for Catalogue, and slate where you read this notice. feb!7 14in C ARPETS! CARPET HOUSE, MEADVILLE, PA., SHRYOCK & DELAMATER Wholesale and Retail Dealers in Foreign American Carpe tings, tattinpc-s, Oil Cloths, Window Shades, Lace rtairxs, Ijamhrerjuins, Sec. speca l coyi'HA crs ma dk i y rciiximixa CHURCHES, HOTELS, AND PUBLIC BUILDINGS. SHRYOCK & .DELAMATER, Mammoth Carpet and House Furnishing Establishment, 23tf MEADYILLE, 'JPJk.. W OAiilPLE FREEU"' blK IHy to Z wmihi tu f liL,L male and lomala everwhers. Address Tho I1.1011 l'ub. Cu., Iseivark, N. J. U Th.o Republican OfTice K EEPS constantly on lmiid lr,.A sortiuentof illank Deeds, MortKaijis. PBr ' sjaj ajfXf tfei (o Suit the Times! ! Piano and Organ Emporium of 05.00 05.00 100.00 105.00 125.00 100.00 ..... S. HAMILTON & CO 77 Fifth Avenue, Vittsburvh, l'a. DOUBLE YOUIi TRADE. IirupKUts, Grocers and lni!ei-s l'ure liina mid Japau Teas in sealed paeka-'es i-i rew to,, ciuis, boxes or half cIilMs--Vv"u C',' l"'!"0"- eml for circular. '1 ho CLOTHING I KrsMlolIif! HcstMnkc! . Hcst.FKvt The niiestion In these hard times la nt only " Wiial shall we do for tsrub to cut but "WIIEliFAVITl fAL' SHALL WE BE CLOTHED ?' It is n notorious fnct that In most t ivni sod cities round nljrut us, clolhlcg made to order I not sold tn aocorriauco to in dcproi'latiou of other necessaries of Ills. There is, however, an honorable excep tion to this rule 111 the person of X. WIHR, Slcrehiiiit Tailor, TIDIOUTE, PA., ' . Who makes ctothlnn of tho very bostkluA, fits iarautecd, lroiu 25 to 30 Per Cent. Below " tlio prices of other dealers In this part of tho country, WHY IS THIS THUS? necaiiNO 1st, Mr. Wise pays no larpe fl-. tires for rent, as ho owua'the buildiuo; h occupies, ai, ho doesn't pay a cutter f"iP0 to f!(X)0 a year, but dovs Ills ownont tinir, and Is not excelled in this line in Western I'ennsVlvunia. 3d, ho buys cloths lor cash, thus KctlliiK a reduction on, ordinary rates, -till ho soils lor caht and thus hits no bail debts to make up. Tho fare Is ftoo. fiom this place to Ttd inuto, antKit the present time, y"u can ge up in tho mornliiK and back at 3:30,, bav imr threo hours in Tidioiitn to select your gtsids and leave your orders. Glvo him a trial, and you will not only save money, but will Ret perfect fits, aud any stylo or quality of cloih you want. Itetnembcrthe name and place, 7 ly N. WISF., Ttrtlente, T. WATEE? CONCERTO ft CECHESTRAL ORGANS""' ainm bvatulKul as rver modi. ? ioia, t ll'IO .inW OIll'lIKh I lt Al.vl ol',i ik Itrw ever plnred In tiny r lrii e m reeds, Vl V" 'i f Tli:d,;. t.tm II :ll4 MINUCI. ,' ".iv.-,., 1 n it v,xi"h. 1 m ,1 v'ii 1 1 4 1 toy iu, 11 i n an VOICK it tt. I'l.lvl). TheM llruKiaa nt the best tlindo n 1 rl4 latM WATERS' NEW SCALE , PIANOS, aim great f uw r uhU u Hue slnalna: louo, iwl art ike bei.i S'iauos iuad, 'I bimsi Orfitui nt I'laam ov wsrtl4 a S) varfc, fnen VKIrruirl, low A fneli or fart ik,iMi aana . monthly tMianvrlr rsintsts, iii)ii4-liasd luktrammts laksa as rrksntt. ( II A I' INUi!ta 11 w 1 11 tin;, AVERT WA.Ti:ir tverf Itjr al Ion. IV I1. . axl ( ansds. A larg-s at MUSlin T"lcKfrt,Nt'Mtert,t hwrKft SchurJt .14. m, V. XlH.tlH' I ATAl.tMtUlU UAILMH HOItll l: U I I I III Ar auai. " 41 Broadway asaiS llumsi, SWVa, f eatimonials or Waters' Pianos uil urganB. "WaterB' Concerto 1'arlor OrSB pos sesses a.boautiful and peculiarly soft ton. Tho Concerto Slop is, without doubt, the host ever placed in any organ. It is pro dueed by an extra set of reeds, peculiarly voiced, from which the etluct is amst cliarmiuur, aud its Imitation of the huuiau voico is nuei-b. r'ur swoetness of loti and orchestral ett'octs it has no eiual," M. Y. Times. ' The Concerto Tarlor OrRan"ls" some thiiiR entirely new ; it is a beautiful parlor ornament, possesses a twoct and power ful tone is a most commendable luvsu lion and holds a hiuh placo la publioj fa vor." JV. 1'. t.venuirf I'vrt. An Oiu itrsTiM in Tun rAni.oa. The orchestral orpin Is the nnme of a new reted or;;uu riiuiitly announced bv Horace Wa ters A s..n. "The instrument takes this name from its recently invented orches-: tral Hiji. The voicing ef thiH is peculiar, produeinir the efl'oct of a full sweet con IralUi voice. IU Uuest ctl'ect is proiiuced w hen tho stops are drawn, so that su -r-che-lral ctl'ect Is iriven, The case is unique and makes a haiidsomo articlu of furut- -Uuo.'l -X. Y. AH it. The Waters Pianos are known as amnna; lhvery liest. We are enaUltd to speak of Uiio instruments Willi cunndciius, from personal knowledge. JV 1'. tJmrigtlut. 2-ly Dr. J. Walker's California Vlu. 9 '.it rsar lilttlirs nio a purely Vegetable picparatioii, maJo chiully fmin tho ll.i , tivo lierbs found on tho lower ranges ot tLe .Sierra Nevada mountitins of Califor nia, tho medicinal properties of which are extracted therefrom without the um of Alcohol, 'i'lio question ia alinuii daily asked. "What Is tho causa of tlis utipaiallelcd success of Vixkuah Hit TKiist" Our answer Is, that they reuiOTt tlio causo of disctwc, nud tho patient re covers his lioaltli. They are the Rient blood purifier and a lifo-givliif principle,, a perfect llcuovator and iuvlgorator of tho system. Never bofuro in the histury of the world lias a inedicios b(a coinjummlcil possessing tlio ronniialils qualities of Vi.nkgab 13htkrj in hsalinr tks itit of every disease man it heir ta Thsf aia a pciiiie l'uiputivo aa well u s Tan, relieving t'onpj.stion or Inflainmsijnn U the Liver aad Vi&ceral Organ m liUies Diseases 1'ho proportlos ef Die. Wii.kib- Vdikoau lii'iTi-.Bsaio JtpciL-iit. Diaahnrstie. Canniuativc. Katritiou. Laiatire. uiurtus, Sedan re, Couuter-irritant buJcriflj, Aliars tiro, suj iiiii-li!iuu. ' 11. II. MrDOT.tl.n A CO.. )"!""' 71'- "f"- A s" "naciaeo. Callf.i a. nJ.;"r.wf W '"'irluii sn.l fiiariieii Sw V V -uld by uU Ui uB:;Ui mil p. al.ri. A k.' 1T"IS J Wst mn."Ten t ,K'1.v 1 A L'-i 41 1 H..w, n. v.. f 't(.f aditiisiptf. 1 n n 8
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