"No, I don't wnnt none of your lightning rods," fftid a Kentucky far- mor, iast week, to a man who had stop red at his house to nutun patent licrht ninr conductors. "I ain't afraid of lightning, It's the thunder I bclicve's going to knock us all endwise, Rome day. "You dou't soera to compre hend," paid the peddler; "these ere silver-tipped rods are lightning rods, and the gold-tipped ones are thunder rods just what you want," and he persuaded the old man in ordering up the gold-tipped rods. "A heated altercatiou" is tho roild way in which a Tennessee paper puts it when ono gentleman shoots another gentleman through the Jicad becauso the second gentleman's cntllo trespass ed on the first gentleman's wheat field ; and the way in which tho courts put it is that the first gentleman is "bound over to appear at the next term of the Circuit Court in Juno." It was 12 o'clock nt night when Mr. Berger, of Macon, Ga., discovered a colored preacher in his stable untying a horse, and the preacher only observ ed "Jess what I said all de time, Mistah Berger, your horse is bay suro enofT, and dnt 'sputo between mo an' Bruddcr Jackson is settled." A newsboy, seated on tho post office steps, counted his pennies over and remarked: "Seventeen cents in all. That's five for tho circus, three for Feanuts, four for u sinking fund, four owe to Jack, and there's one left to support a widowed mother on until Saturday night." "We read in do good book," says a colored Baptist brother down South, "of John de Baptist neb be r of John de Methodist." And that, says a Charleston correspondent of tho New - York Observer, is tho reason most of the colored Southern people aro Bap tists. A man was indignantly exclaiming that his knife had been stolon, when at last one of his neighbors, whose garden had been robbed a short time previous, said to him, "I found your knife among ray cabbages ; how came it there T" The man was struck dumb. Mrs. Roso, of Connecticst, said she would hang herself if Rose wasn't home at eight o'clock. When he came in at night she' was suspended Vo a beam, cold and dead, and he rubbed his hands and whispered : "There's a woman w ho couldn t tell a lie I" A 'Western contemporary, chroni cling the suicide of a melancholy ag riculturalist, who hanged himself from a rafter in his barn, asks itself "if the wretched man had any thought of a hereafter f" Manifestly he must have thought of this here rafter. "Oh 1 my friends," exclaimed a tem perance orator, "that I had a window . in my heart, that you might all look in and see the truth of what I tell you !" "Wouldn't a pain in your stomach do just as well f" asked a small boy. At a teachers' institute in Ohio re cently a lady teacher was given the word "hazardous" to spell and define, nd did it in this style : "H-a-z, has a-r-d, ard e doublo s, ess hazardess, a female hazard." A sheep-breeder of Clark county, Ky is willing to make affidavit that he killed fourteen dogs in two shots a few nights ago; which, as Jearacs might remark, is shooting to some pnrps. . "Kill him I kill himl" shouted a crowd in Virginia Citv as thoy gather ed around a hotel. "What for?" in quired a strancer. "lie's cot on alli gator boots and a volvet cout.. Mash 'im." There was once a legislator who laid by $30,000 in one session. When he was asked how he managed this with a salary of (1,000, he said that he saved it by doing without a hired girl. A littlo girl happening to hear her mother speak1 of going into half mournin&r. said. "Whv are we. trnintr into half-mourning, mamma? Aieauy oi our roiations hall-dead T "Have I not offered you evcrv ad vantage?" said a doting father to his son. "Oh, yes 1" replied the you ; "but I could not think of taking advantage oi my lather." " They have laid out a new citv in Iowa, you can tell when you come to it easily by a sign sticking up in the v mud with the name of tho placo writ ten iu charcoal. A candidate for county clerk in xexas ouureu to register marriages loi nothing. His opponent undismayed promised to do the same and throw t cradle in. A wag, seeing a door nearly off its hinges, in which condition it had beeu -orae time, observed, that when it had fallen and killed some one it would probably be bung. "Mr. D , if you will got my coat done by Saturduy, I shall be for ever indebted to you." "If that's your game, it won't be done," said the tailor. A gentleman observing the sign of ''Caswell upon a business establish rncut, remarked that it would bo "as well without the C. Wisconsin papers report that the spirits of the Adventists are down bo cauao their bodies didn't go up last montb. JOB WORK PONE AT TUB 'REPUBLICAN" OFFICE At Ihe lowest cash price, neatly, prompt ly, and in sly la equal to that of any other cstubliehment in the District. BUSINESS CARDS, SHOW CARDS, VISITING CARDS, SCHOOL CARDS WEDDING CARDS, PROGRAMMES, INVITATIONS, BALL TICKETS, ADMISSION TICKETS, MOXTIIIiY STATEMENTS, ENVELOPES BILL HEADS, LETTER HEADS, NOTE HEADS, CIRCULARS, BLANKS, POSTERS DODGERS, HANDBILLS, LABELS, smrriNG TAGS, &c Allegheny Valley Jtail Road. Oil Creek & Allegheny River Hail way, and Buffalo, Corry & Pitts burgh R. R. OX AND AFTER Monday, February 2, 1ST 4, train will run as follows i STATIONS. Northward. Southward IB l Ho-1 N-t Nivt . a in p in n in p m p in p in Pittsburgh 2:20 lOMir.l 5t:0O W I'onJime 4:n2 t:.Vi 8:!to l L- KlttnnnitiR 4:5(1 9:48 7:4 l!2:.T- H. Il k Juno fi: lil lD:;lii 1 1: in HrndvHond f: on 10: .'..- i:Kl U2". Parker fl:4.'t 1 1 :!V fc'-SV H!X Kmlonton 7:0") 12:00 4:tH 10:10 rVruhjrrass ' ' 8:12 1:1(1 R:rJ !l:l! Franklin - P:0.r l;fii :0.i 8:VIi Oil City 7:00 ftir, 2:a-t 2:1ft 7:4ft :00 Oloopoiis 8:00 2:4!l 12:12 7:; KnfjloHock 8:17 3:((0 11:!i. 7:2:1 Tionosta l):P,ri 3:2ii 10;f7 :M Tiiliouto li:2f 4:1ft (:2t ii:(ilt Irvincton 11:4ft f.:00 7:4ft 6:20 ltousevillo 10:0" 2:V. 1:.VJ 7:2S Titusvillo 11:10 l:M 12:5:1 6:25 Curry ft: 10 11:1ft Mavvillo 7:0O II: 17 lluiuilo 8:5ft 0:0ft a. in p. in p. in a. una. in p. in . i Trains run by Philadelphia Tim. J. J. LAWKKNCE, Gen'l Sup'l PENNSYLVANIA CEN TRAL IlAILllOAD ON AM) AFTKlt 11 V. l Sunday Mnv 1, 1S70, Trains arrivo nt nnd leave tho Union Depot, corner of Washlntou mid i-iiiu'riy at reel, as mi lows: AUK1VI0. Mail Train, 1.30 a lit : i'ast I.inn. 12.12 a m ; WoU'saccoitHiiodution No. 1, ,20 a m Urinton neconiinodntion No 1, 7.50 a in; Wall's accommodation No 2. 8.u5a in :Cin- pinniiti express U.20amj Johnstown ac commodation lO.ftO a in J Itraddock's ai oommoduiioii No 1, 7.00 pin; I'ittsliurh express i.iiu p in; i-aciuo express I.ftO p m ; Wall's accommodation No S, 2.l!ft p m; llomewood accommodation No 1,9.5ft pm; Wall's accommodation No 4, 8.rfl p m ; jirniion accommodation ixo X, l.w p ui ; Way Passenger 10.20 p m, DEPART. Sontlicrn express 5.20 a n : Paelflo ox- rrosr 2.40 a m : Willi's accommodation No , fl.SOa m ; Mail Train 8.10 n m ; ISrintnn's accommodation l.).2t a in : Uraddock's ao- commiHlntiiin Ivo 1, ft.10 p m: Cincinnati express 12.35 p m ; Wall's arenmmodation i z, ll.tu a m ; Jolmstowil accommodation 4.0ft p m ; llomcwood ncconiniodaticin No 1. 8.50 p ni; 1'liiIadoJpliia express 3..V1 n In; Wall accoininoil.il ion i o 3,:t.0ft p in; W all's 7.40 p in ; Wall's No 5, il.00 p m. Tho Chnrch Trains loavo Wall's Station every Sunday nt 0.05 a. in., rcaehinjf Pitts- nnrpn at 10.0.1a. ni. Kviurnm leave cuts lmrKh at 12.50 p. ni., anil arrivo at Wall's Station at 2.10 p. m. Cincinnati express loaves dailj South ern oxpross daily except Monday. All oth er Trains daily, except Hnndav. For furtUor'inforniatlon apfy to W. It. RECKWITir, Aent. Tlie Ponnsvlvanla ltailronil Coinnahv will notnsKiime any Risk for lliipngo ex cept for WoariiiR Apparel, and limit their rsponnibility to One Hundred Dolhu s val ue. All bairprage exneediii)r that it ount in value win lie at ine nK or tno ncr, unless taken by special contract. A; J. CASSAl Ocneral:Snperintcndont, Altoona Pa.' PITTSBURGH, P-A. Tlie following list embracoa only a part of our lmmonxo stock 1 Muzzle-Loading Rifles, full or half stock at $12, ?15, $20, and $25. Double Barrel Rifles, $20 to $50. 'Double Rifles and Shot Guns, eitlior over and under, or side by sido,and at all prions from $:) to $50. Single-Barrel Shot Guns, for mon or boys 1 cheap safe uud durable. All prices $.!.50 to $25 each. Double Barrel Shot G uns. Our fifty diiroront styles, made of Iron, liondon Twist, laminated Stoel or Damas cus Barrels, llnishexl in the best and latest style, all sizes, for men anil liovs, at prices ranp:ir from $3, $10, $15, $20 825, $3ft, $10, $50, $75 to $100. ' V ' PISTOLS, in variety from $1.00 to $8.00. KEVOLVERS, 4, B, 6, or 7 shooters, of every kind, at all prices from $(3.00 to $25.00. BREECH-LOADING RIFLES. Winchester Improved 18 shooter. Hcst long range gun iutlio world. Prico only $45. (Sharp's Celebrated Brcoch-Loadlngl Ri fles only $10 each. Ueminfrlon Hreech-Loading Rifles at locnt factory prices. Wlesson'a and Stephen's Pocket Rifles, usiuir motal cartridges, at $12, $15 and $13. Breech-Loading Shot Gluis. The Dexter Single. Barrel Breo'li Ixind InaHliot Oun, usiun Ura.sasholls price j20. Htcphcns' B.L. Siii;lo (fun, $1(5. Doublo Barrel Breech Loadcr,of Mooro's Dan's WoodhiU's, Orecnen's, ltlchards', Sooot's and other rino makos, at all pricos, from $50 to $300 each. Send for Price List to j. n. jouivsTox, GREAT western gun works, 285 LIBERTY STREET, IITTSlllTJIiGII. rV.. and state that Raw this advortlsemont In Tub Foiiest Rki-uulioan. Takk Notice I wifl buv or trado for Army Rilles.C'arbmos, Rovolvora, Sto. J'or pi'KHiS see Catalo;ruo. Orders by mail receive prompt attention. Goods sent by express to any point C. O. D., to bo examined boi'ore paid lor, whon reijucbted. 4a k . Tidioute, Pa. Is solline out bis entire stock of Wutrbo & Jcwt'lr; A r FIRST COST All parties In want of Uold and Kilver Watches, tiold and Silver Chains, la- Uios' Opera t'lmins. is laUt htylo in Id and lilutod sets. Bruculots, Studs, CltH'ks, .Vc, will And this a flrst class op portunity. Ail xoods are now, no old trash. This is no humbug. E. Kloiu sells at cost. Go and see. . SUBSCRIBE for Uia Forest Republican It will pay. mm J3 Iminciisc Rcdiiclion At tlie Wholesale and Retail 1 S. HAMILTON & CO., 77 5T11 OUR MOTTO 13 AND HAS BEEN QUICK SALES AND SMALL PROFITS. Our business la exclusively PIANOS and ORGANS, which enables us to irlve' our w liolo tinio and attention to this c.:lusivo trade. 'i'liUM where other dealers hell from live to ten instruments a week, our sales vury otlcn exceed these numbers In a sitnrlo ! .'?y' 1,nl w n bettor aU'ord to sell at 10 por ccuU prolit on cost, than llioy can nt M and 2o per oout, , J Jjw'isvsifis g wde KasriSTiM ,hoy lnvariab,y ,utroJuo In and about Pittsburli nlonc. They are not some new Orjran, tho growth or a few montlis, but are old reliablo makes, that are oonstnntlv addimr every meriUirlous Im provement. 1 ho really Grand Siminoiis,t Uloncii's ('ombliiation Orpan have been iiianufactuietl for Twenty-live years, while tho (lobrated Tavlor & I'nrloy Celestes urpnns have been nianulacttired over Twenty years. And now for tho purpsso of in trMtucliiK them more thoroughly throughout all tne country towns of iho .state, wo have made 1 new Mid very heavy contracts for lafKe numbers of them, which we pro pose to sell on their merits, and without tl:eKssistuiicoorAGENTSOR M IDDI.E MEN,' (riTiiiK tho purchaser tlie benolit of commissions and wholesale discounts, wo aro thus Mine 10 tbCI"e 0l'B"U8 at th0 r"uwl"g pricos, at which we shall soil for sliort CABINET CASES, Double Reed, 4 Stop Organs, Regular Price, uz.00 at $ 85.00 " .5 . 155.00 at 90.00 6 . " 105.00 at 05.00 FULL RESONANT CASES. Double Reed, 4 Stop Organs, Regular Price, $165.00 at 5 " " 175.00 at " 6 . " lS5.00at 21 sets Reeds 6 " Vox Humana " 215.00 at 3 " 8 "Viola " 275.00 at Those Organ are all Solid Walnut, Panolinjr and Carving all of Solid Walnut. Nei thor saw-dust moiildings nor cheap brass trinkets are used on these instruments every thing is of the very best, and aro all fully warranted for live j ears. . TIXE CRADUURY 3 PECKER PIAHQ3 WILL BB BOLD AT THE SAME RATES OF DISCOUNT. Tho above are strictly cash prices, but if doslrod by the purchaser, either quarterly or souii.aniiual payments will be taken at an advance of 10 por cent, per annum on the above prices. Persons orr'erimr by lntter can depend on tho mo4t careful selection bo iiif? mado. If the cash price be sent with tho order, tlie Instrument will lie shipped by Iroifjht, if not accompanied with the cash, tlio Orj,Tn will lie shipped by Express, C. O. D. If time bo desired, wa require uotoa villi good security, or at least good references. Address for Cataloguer, and state where you read this notice. S. HAMILTON & CO., 1 feb!7 14m iravliiff conflicted the alteration of our Htore room, we notitl re w'f an non nco that we have re-oienel. lie have arranged our Storeirlth a view to the convenience of 'cuntom fm, anl to tteciire expedition in. all branehea of our business. Our Stock will in v tlirowjh ovt, embracint) all t!ie lti t t noecl ties hi 1'ine Jvieeli'ii, Watches, Sit ter M'uro ami liitci Voodi). liij attention, to customers, in tlueements in pricc,a nil (Ulliereueo toali;ili ttta ndarU of ouaLi;, wt hoe to merit a continuance of tlie patroHnro Itcri toore so libera Uj bestowed. JOHN STKVEXSOX'l! BOSS, 03 Market Street, lUttsbaryli, l'a. 51 WOOD ST., - -WJIOLHSAllS- OFFER THEIR STOCK OF DRY GOODS FOR AUTUMN, 1874, September 15M, 1S74. Va.i. P. Fmliln iwki, I irrkdattH ft! Ih TJ;uvrtty oi rikii' lit mi fr S)jvnr' riperiiitflut, ,LuMDr. KitlvrU Vetttalle Uhcumailo KyrupftTil Ilt which Xguarauluc na InrilUbla ei'rt I iimint in Ilaad, I-uitft, llick, 1 1 turt, Liml, Njrvoni, K l Imy, lil.s auI U Htt4iuiiivtt4 dW.'inj. buru to. UiU 2-tii J.;-. 11.1371. Q P. A. OliJGUHM, Xofiiry fuiiie, YLUn i .an.H.'v.'rho.Miri,''y1O.I'tVraiLfrr l,l'Lils.K.(J.lU v- 4.iiKtia.P. l-i.H,l'.nclin'n,;iariice,lowi.K.'V. C.f: iiiiiiLu, ritufwpl,N.V.Kw.Jtllfik FsiLtCl.urf 1 biU.,Ai.Afl,te:tol(slioulJ writtIr.I if 1 i,FliiU.1f'rci;'!. $ lU-rr Fami'lilot fru-urftnUHMrrBtls. 'Ju Vt maiii ffirknicv. 7-ly KEEPS consbintly on hand a lari;o as sortment of lilank Douds. Murt'-Mtrus 8ul)Ki'nas, Warrants, Huunuons, 6ui. to b sold cheap for cash to Suit llic Times! ! Piano and Organ Emporium of - A AVE..PITTSBUKGII, l'A -05.00 100.00 105.00 125.00 1G0.00 77 l'lfth Avenue, rittuburgh, I'n. - PITTSBURGH, PA. TP AND MOTIONS A.T VEIiY LOW ni ICES w2o-3in Tho oldoslatid most rnliaiilo institution for obtaining a Mercantilo Education. For Circulars write to V. ltVb'FA St INS, w22-3m uom rittsburgh, Pa. KKVSTONU UlMMi KUIUIM, 203 Liberty 8t., - - Plttaburgb, Pa. H'. . SlJirSOX, Proprietor. .11 l'A 1.8 AT AIXIIUrUM. TRANSIENT CUSTOM SOLICITED. w25-ly JOIJ WOHK of al kinds done ut this of lico on short notice. Mm If ts It. 11. COI. 1. 1 KM. CIKO.-W, II LA 111. FORTrPITKGUSSSWORKS. IHT ligu I f i i; a i o'. , Manufacturers of every variety of FLIM GLASSmWP CHIMNEYS, AND SILVEREDJGLASS REFLECTORS, WASM1NOTON ,t Kit AN KLIN fiTM., riTTsm'ttriH, Va. There Is "shoddy" ill uhiss, ai well as In In woolen fabrics. Consumers of kcro si'iic arcHoinctinieH iilmnst diNciiiinit'C1, s ficiiienllv ilo chinsiicys 'break, without 4 any apparent cuuko, reudei inK the cost of chhnneys .ibi.tit cnunl to that of oil. Cheap nnss beliH5 Ihn ordor of tho day, a ptreut many mniiiitiu tiiries liiuko chlin'nevs from sillcaln of lime, Instead of fiom lead. Tho Initiated may toll tho dlll'ercnt ottnlilies of Ulass by iini;iiiK llicni j t'- vibrations ol tlio lead lasi have a clear, rliifinir. bell liko sound, poKscssiiiix tlio reriuisito slrcnuth to willtxtund exanion and ran traction, ns woil ns the ireneral pressure of use, ard will outlast hull s dur.cn of tlie limn plass chlmncyR, l'illccn cents in vested in ono of tlio lead chimneys Is money well spent, even though it injure (ho "trade" in tho cheaper kind, which it most assuredly cmlit to, and doubtless will. (Slick a pin there, and remember it. Tlie jrciiiiine le id jtlass chimney may bo had ut wiiolonjilo or retnii of :i;o. w. DrniiiintJK .v. co., 2-1 f Tionesta, Ta. ORCAN3 ' " "" "",N " miiiii i -.llt' 7 r C,sj 'I it A I.SI'OVSnwIfc lMnt v-r pWiccrt in niiy ftr M j llMorl) voiced, 'h f.fr'. J t-i. !. it iiioisT ill M P i m i a l...-'i li A I III-i nMArllliMAM ' VOICF. is Kl'll Ktl. 'I'Imiw Orainua mit A lt mmlo m iht 1'. It-;l sinies. WATERS' NEW SCALE , PIANOS. Hire Kret&l pow er und a Sinn inirliiB: ion. sun am moilcrn Itiinruv.mrutL ml Oi-. the lies! I'llino ltifi4l 'I'lirso mrftnnuami I'lanes or. wnrranp4r IfHin. l"ricN VKircitifly low far rikli m- pari rnh, nnd bnlmir tm monthly qtin.rl.-rly pnyiMttnt. Micontl-liand liisiritiiirnin iiikrn m nrhnniio. J II i: A I IHUIC1;. ' mi;is it ikiiii;. Aui-Ni iK ASTFIIi' tr)t ( llrm't onnlf im ik 1'. N on. 1 1 snails. A Inryr Aimm COIint fr Irarhrrt, .Win (. i "AtirrAfS, tf-Ji, W, ol m. fic II I rsiHAiw i:tai.ooi f.s Maiuuk IIOIIAO: M.V1 I MS 4c Mllll, Ml Uroadwaj and 48 ileievr HI N. Testimonial of Waters'Pianos; and Organs. , "Waters' Connerto Parlor 'Organ pos sesses a beautiful and peculiarly soft ton. Tho Concerto Stop is, without .doubt, th best evor pluccd ill any organ. It is pro duced by an extra set of roods, peculiarly voiced, "from which the cllect is most charming, and its imitation of the human voice is superb. For sweetness of tone and orchestral effect It lias no. equal."- N. V, Timce. ' Tlio Concerto Parlor CrRanIs'some thlim entirely new ; it ls!a bcaulifiil'parlor ornament, possesses a sweet and power ful tone is a most commendable inven tion and holds a hlch place iu publio -vor." N. Y. Evening lit. Aw Orchestra in Tint Paklob. Tho orchestral oran is tho naino of a new reed orpan recently announced by Horace Wa ters A Hon. Tho instrument takes this name from it recently invented orches- tral stap. Tho voicing of this is peculiar, f roducniR tho olloct ot a full sweet con ralto voici. Its tinost etrtH't is producoil when tlio stops are drawn, so that an or chestral client is (riven. The case is unique and makes a liandHomo article of furui ttiro." JY. Y. Sun. The Water Pianos aro known asmiuiDir tlio very best. Wo arc enabled to speak of thoso instruments with contidenco, from personal knowledge Jtf. Y. Keangelitl, l!-lv Jsiiiiiilk Dr.J. Walker's Cnliforitla Vin- Cgar Uittci'S nio a pnroly Vcpetablt )n-(!par:itioii, mado cliiclly from tho na tive herbs found on the lower ranpres of tho Siena Nevada mountains of Califor nia, tlio medicinal properties of which aro extracted therefrom without tho ustf of Alcohol. Tho question is ulmo.st daily asked, "What is tlio- cau.so of tha unparalleled success of Vinkhak Hit TKiisf" Our answer is, that they i cinov tlio caiiso of disease, and tho patient re covers his health. They aro tho great blood purifier nnd a lilb-givinj; principle, a jHiiTuct ltcnovator nnd InviKorntoi of tho pyetom. Never before in tlio history of llie world has a ineilicino lioca coiiiNiMiidcl poAscssing tlio rciuarkalil q'liihlll'H of Vl.N'KOAR lilTTKHS iu healing till nek of every clmeaao man is heir to. They aie a pernio 1'urputiro as well as a Tnuio, relieving Congestion or IiiDaTiiiiistioii of tlio l.ivcr aud isccial Orguut iu liiiiou iliscasos The liroportios cf Dr.. Wai.kkr'h; Tikkoab lilTTKKs aro Aperient. Diaphoretic.. Curniinatiro, Nutritious, laxulive. biiiretia, Hedntivo, Counter-Irrituut Sudoiiiic, Alurn tiro, uhil Anti-lliliiiurt. n. II. McDOlVALIJ A CO.. Pni.-jnirtJ WHKion. Am., Sun b'riinoiiMHV Cfillfsml, Uud etir. of Wimlilliirlon initl 1 :ii;irl(.tn St.. S. V. fculcl by all Lrui(lU auU U ilcn. U)TS FOR S ALE ! IN THE BOROUGH CF HONEST A. Apily to GEO. G. SICKLES, 7, Nassau St., Now York City. nun, v. niTii ninoi:, I'At't, .IMMKKMAN, mm f( ill ).n it i V
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers