Newspaper Page Text
IS PUDLISnED EVERY TUESDAY, BY
. W. R. DUNN.
D.Tlce In Kriox's Building, Elm, Street
TERMS, f2.00 A YEAR.
No Subscription received for a shorter
period than thrue months.
Correspondence solicited from nil parts
of the country. No notice will bo tukuu ot
Marriages and Dutith notices Inserted
TIO N EST A LODGE
x. o. a-, t.
I TecU every Wednesday evening,
R. DUNN, W.
M. W.TATE, W
MILKS W. TATB.
PETTIS & TATE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
t Im Street, TIOXIXTA , P.4 .
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Oil ntv. Pa.
Will practice In the various Courts of
Forest County. All business entruwted to
kit ears will receive prompt nttouti n.
W. W. Mason,
ATTORNEY AT LAW. OmcoonElm
Street, above Walnut, Tionesta, la.
C W. Gilflllan,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Franklin, Ve
nango Co., Pa. tf.
N. B. Smiley,
ATTORNEY aT LAW, Petroleum Cen
tre, Pa. Will practice In the several
Courts of Forest County, R5-ly
W. P. MercilUott,
Attorney nt Low.
REAL. ESTATE AO EXT.
CLAR.K A FASSETT,
A TrORXEYS AT L Air,
WARREN AND TIDIOUTE, PA.
THE UNDERSIGNED havintr associ
ated themselves together In the prac
tice of law. oiror their professional serv ecs
to the pubiic.
Business promptly a'tended to In n'l 'ho
courts of Warren, Forest and adjoining
JUNIUS R. CLARK, D. D. TASSETT,
Warren, Pa. Tiiliouie, Fa.
11 T ITTEL. Fronrlctnr. Elm St,
VI. riiiwt u 1 at t tin mrmt.h of 11m rrnpk
Mr. Title has thorouuhlv renovated the
. Dletclv. All Im patronise him will be
j loncsia .louse, ami ro-iuriusncu n nmi.
well entertained at reasonable ratoH. 20 ly
DJ1 LACK P ROrn I ETOR. Opposite
. Court House, Tionesta, Pa. Just
opened. Everything new and clean ami
fresh. The bent of liquors kept constantly
on hand. A portion of the public patron-1
aire Is respectfully solicited. 4-17-lv
flMONESTA, PA., opposite the Depot.
A C. D. Mable,
bling connected with the houso.
rTMDIOUTl'. Pa J. A D Maoer, Tropic
A tors. The houso has been thoroughly
refitted and is now in tlio first-class order,
with the best of accommodations. Any
nrbrmaiinn e.onerninir Oil Territory at
this point will bo uhoerluliy turuislicit.
-ly J.AD. MAUEE,
T OWER TIDIOUTE. Pa.. D. 8. Ramk-
J dkki.A Son Prop's. Tliis house having
been reliteil is now tlie most desirable stop-
ing place in Tidiouto. A good Billiard
too.n attached. 4-ly
TRVIXETON. PA. W. A. Ilallenback,
Proprietor. This hotel is Nkw, and is
- i)w open as a Hint class house, situate at
e junction of the Oil Creek A Alleuhenv
tiver and Philadelphia A Erie Railroads,
pposiUi the IV'Mt. Parties having to lay
ver trains will nnd this the most conven
ent hotel In town) with first-class aecniu
oodstions anil reasonable chamcM. tf.
Dr. J. L. Acorrib,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, whohas
had ti fteon years' experience in a lare
' ana biiccchhiui practice, will attend all
Professional ( "alls. Otllce In his Drng and
Orocery Stoiu located in lidiouto, near
IN HIS STORE WILL RE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobacco, I'luars. Stationnry, Glass, Paints,
Oils Cutlery, anil line Groceriea, all of the
best quality, and will bo sold at reasonable
11. R. RURGESS, an experienced Drupr
List from New York, has charge of the
More. All prescriptions put up accurately.
SLOAN & VAN GIESEN.
VT AG O N - III A K E R S.
Corner of Chureh and Elm Stroots,
This Arm is prepared to do all work in
Its line, and will warrant everything done
at their sheps to u'wo butisliiction. Par
ticular alteuiiou given to
fiive them a trial,
and you will
JOHN A. DALE, PRE T.
OHN A. PROPtR, VICE PST. A. H. STEELE, CASHR
Tionesta,, Forott Co., Pa.
Tills Rank transacts a General Ranking,
Collecting and Kxcl.ane llusiue,s.
Drafts on the Principal Cities of the
United Hlau-s and Europe bought and sold.
Gold and tsilver Coin ami tjovernmont
Securities boiu-lit und solil. 7-jO llonds
convertect on ti.o ioo.it favorable terms.
Intore! iillowtd ou lime dujiosits.
Mar. 4, tt.
JOB Wi'ItlC neatly exi
st rpssonalil rate-i
'v.. J a'- this oitico
" Let us liave Faith
VOL. IV. NO. 33.
rnw, nmitunnK. ru
T A. 1TRTOHT. ((.
UKO. W. P IHIt'lMiK,
THE SUPERIOR LUMBER CO.,
Pine Lumber, Lath, Shingles &c.
Mills on Tionrsta Creek, Forest Co., Fa.
Yards k Office cor. Hi k Bail Bond SU.,
B. D. D'THRIDOK
FORT PITT GLASS WORKS.
Established A. D. 1827.
QITHEUQGE & SQK
Ditliridge's xx Flint Glass
Silvered Glass Reflectors.
These chimneys do not break by heat.
Ask for Dituridoem. Tako no other.
DITI1RIDOE A SON,
25-ly. Pittsburgh. Va.
Acn Ilonrdiup; House.
MIW H. S. II U LINGS has built a larRe
addition to her house, and la now pre
pare I to aci'onimoclateanumberof pornia-
nent boarders, and all transient ones who ;
nuiv favor her with their patronage. A ;
it'mh! stable has recently been built to ao- i
!... .I. f ..,,,(. l-l, ...'
ren.-ouaiio. ite-oueneo ou r.uu oi., oppo
site S. HasU-l's store.
Jos. Y. Saul,
PRACTICAL Harness Makor and S'ld-
i iller. 1 nreo uoors nortn oi iiouncs
House, Tionesta, Fa. All work is war
DR. .1. N. ROLARD, or Tidioute, lias
retumsd to his practice alter an ab
sence of four months, spent In the lift pi
talsnfNew York, where will attend
calls in his profession.
Olllce in KiireKa I'rug rsioro, ao ooor
ibovo the bank, Tidioute, Pa. 4ttf
at the Store of
D. S. KNOX, & CO
Elm St., ionesta Pa.
We are In daily receipt oi the srgpst tad
MOST COMPLETE stock
EVER BROUG HT TO THIS MARKET
BOOTS & SHOES !
which we are determined to sell regardless
House Furnishing Goods, Iron, Nails,
Machlno tools, Agricultural Implements,
Ac., Ac,, Ac, which we oll'or at greatly re
FURNITURE! FURNITURE ! !
of all kinds,
ICS, Ao., Ac, Ac.
In ENDLESS VARIETY. Call and see,
71 D. S. KNOX, A CO.
WASTE! Men and Women seek
lii'r a pond piivinu b.is'iie to sell our 11
lustruted, historicid, bioKruphU-kl, reli
pious mil aL-ri .uipural works, hend sb up
lor full particulars how you can makc41e0
to f-:'0-J per month. K. It. TREAT, Pub
lisher, so.5 ll.i,:i.l ay, X. Y. SM-41
that Right raakoa Might ; and
Tho San Franolaco Town-Crior.
There 5 no one tiling more rhararv
toristic of California tint n the &m
t'ranchro Knn-Lttter ; and the chief
tiling which lini imparted its rharao
teristiu flavor to the New Letter, anil
given it its peculiar reputation, ia the
Town Crier. With this preliminary,
we introduce the Town Crier as he
shows himself ia the Newt Letter oi
Chinese are receiving instructions in
Sunday Schools at Olyinpia. JCx. So
they are here. The instruction i giv
en by the white pupils just outside the
school house, and is commonly im
parted with a brick.
The parents of the double bahy,
which recently died in Boston were in
sulted by an oiler of six thousand dol
lars for the remains their darling. Tim
proposal was indignantly rejected,
i'hey demand ten thousand.
The Call says the world will go by
us ere long, ami our relics will not lie
worth tlio price of Gro-wood. We sup
pose our ne.ghbnr alludes to corporeal
relics: our rpiriluul relics will be
worth considerably more than fire
wood, because they will burn lunger,
and with a more intense hear.
The newest and sweetest thing in
suicide is to go out to the sepulchre of
your boy, who was slain by a tumbling
edifice, and tipple strychnine out of a
clamshell. To Mr. Lewis Beach the
public is indebted for this beautiful
Conception, and to this DOttUtllUl COD-
ceptioil the devil is indebted for a nice.
A gentleman in the wholesale liquor
line ud vertices that some persons have
been circulutinir the falsehood that
contain loreii;n and un-
wholciotnc matter, ami adds: "To
those ncciiatonied to use these whiskies
the slander neetls no refutation. '
True; they rest quietly in thuir peace
ful graves, and the idle tale of the tra
ducer impresses them not.
A correspondent says there is some
where a law. which punishes the chil
dren for the crimes of the father, even
unto the third ami fourth crcnerutiou :
and he wishes to know when it was en
acted, and where it may be found. We
do not know ; it sounds very much as
if it might have been passed by the
last. California Legislature, against
the Chinese; but we don't think, that
any one who voted for it can ever be
Here is an unimportant but interest
ing part of the description of a 'l urk'
ish beauty who is sojourning in New
York temporarily it is to lie hoped
"She has the eves of a houri, n Inn. ml
shaped, deep and dreamy, and bril
liant, white teeth that lauL'li as she
lnuifhs." Sweet Venus, what a nice
girl I It would bo worth a thousand
year at ones hie to own her. What
delight to see one's own face mirrored
in those eyes ! What bliss to minister
to her wants! For example, to insert
slices of bacon betweea those laughing
A convival party, sixty-five yenrs
bad fell otf the wharf the other ni.'!u
and sputtered lustily for succor, which
he finally obtained. He was pulled
out very much collapsed as to figure,
and quite low m temperature. When
the oilicers w ho made the rescue learn
ed his age, they put a bold face upon
the matter and claimed to have known
it all the time. They were not believed,
of course, and have been unmercifully
guyed for soiling their clothes and wet
ting their feet to save a man who will
probably die in less than five years
At the city of Horse Prairie (we
suppose it is a city) in Illinois, a child.
while sleeping peaceably with its pa
rents, was so operated upon by the
teeth of rats that it has died. Parents
may take a bint from this how to man
age these predatory rodents. Smear
the youngest pledge of afl'ectioi: with
buue, and expose it in somo rat-hauut-
oii .ullui Tn inun U'lwtra ti-uita i ru
used, impaled baby might advantage-
ously supersede toasted cheese. lr
bait. We hail not thought that these
vermin the rat had Such degraded
An American officer in the service
of the Khedive saVs a Georgian girl
of the highes typo of beauty may be
purchased in the Egyptian market for
two thousand dollars. If this turns
out to be true, it is probable that the
good people of Cairo will be thrown
into u fine rage by the presence of the
'Jown-Ciier. We have long thought
this girl selling business might to be
written down, urn) if some philanthro
pist will give two thousand dollars to
the cause, we will go over and do it.
We shouldn't be in Egypt twenty-four
hours before we should ferret out. the
guilty parties who have girls for sale.
A son of Martin F. Tupper, the au
thor of "Proverbial Philosophy," lias
been killed by being run through the
body with a loaded wtigou. Happy
felliwl no longer can the sneering
world tnui.t thee with thy parentage!
No longer will young maids turn aside
their eyes at thy appruch.aud barefoot
id urchins liuil upon thee uddied eggs
uuj a tempest of dead cats? No iuor;
in that Faith lot us to the end,
PA., TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1871.
shall old mm spread their palsied hand
acrnw thy pate slid warn thee against
proverbially philosophising! No more
hIihII suspicious beldames cry nut to
their daughters "Martha, drive in
the peese; here comes old Tuppcr's
Virgil Williams, the artist, is arrir-
cd in town. Visitors to the art gallery
it Woodward's Gardens will regard
his advent with some apprehension.
And so, for that matter, will visitors
at the Fair; the few weeks of the ex
billon Will be amply sunicient for this
eentlctnan to kn. ck olf a half acre of I
Iindscape to alllicl us. lie possesses
somo merit as an artist, but it is hard
to tell whether it lies in landscape or
marine painting ynu never can tell
his cows from his hips, except when
they have their talis exalted, when the
sbseenn of spars betrays their charac
ter. Even then they mav be mistaken
for schuone.s scudding under bare
"The Princess Louisa is put down is
a 8 old. and she and her mother have
hud many a conflict. She was mar
ried to tiie Marquis in order to give
her a home elsewhere, and they have
quarreled every day since." Whcu
we see a newspaper with this para
graph in it, we feel that iis editor is
one of Nature's noblenn n ! one who
enn nevr, no tiever, bo bnueht bv
British gold, nor silenced by British
bayonets! one who will submit to be
loru in pieces before he will bow down
to the tyrants of Europe! one who
will speak Ins mind it it overturns
every tottering throne in the IM1
World, and hurls every crumbling dy
nasty into everlasting oblivion 1 At
present we uro feeling that way toward
the editor of the Call.
A physician in Kansas is entitled to
honorable mention for personal clean'
liness. The other evening he took a
razor and made an excavation in the
neck of his littlo girl. He then treat
ed his wife the same way. These died.
Our h tro then obtained a large pan,
set it on the floor, lay down with his
head in it and sawed asunder all that
he coud get nt in his own neck. The
pan caught all the blond, and both the
floor and his raiment were unsullied.
The body is said to have had the clean
transparency of very young veal, but
the head having lopped down into the,
pan was considerably gummed up. We
recommend in all similar cases the use
of a small rack to sustain the pate
when its guys and stays have been cut
For the memory of the late John
Hidd, of Illinois, wo entertain the
liveliest contempt. Mr. Kidd recent
ly dispatched himself with a firearm
for the following reasons, set forth in a
letter that he left behind : "Two years
H20 I discovered that I was worthless.
My great failings are insincerity of
character and sly ugliness. Any one
who watched me a little while would
discover my unenviable nature." Now
it is not that Mr. Kidd was worthless
that we hold bis memory in reproba
tion ; nor that he was insincere, nor
sly, nor ugly. It is because possessing
these qualities he was fool enough to
think they disqualified him for the
duties of life, or stood in the way of
his being an ornament to society and
an honor to his country. That's what
makes us despise him.
The women teachers in our High
Schools have had the superhuman
audacity to petition for an iuccrease
of salary sufficient to make their re
muneration equal to that of men per
forming the same labor. We do not
envy the mental condition of these
teachers yet to learn that they ore fe
mule in sex. Are they blind to the
fact that their stature is considerably
less than, tu.rs, end their muscles, as a
rule, not so largely developed ; that
they are beardless, nnd wear their hair
long; that their flesh is no ft, apd in
many cases even flabby? Let them
onc6 realize these and all kindred
anatomical difT-reuces, and then dare
to assert that persons who are essriitial-
nl unlike should be equal in salary.
The Petition is prepo-terous
are they. 1 hey might as we 1
draw out Leviathan with a hook, or
bind A ret urns and his sons, ns con
vince an enlightened Board of educa
tional mules that there is any sense in
their demi.nd. We nri fatigued of
them the rascally, insolent, misgnid
ihI, well meaning, interesting, i.ice,
sweet, lovcuble darlings ! Give them
whatever they want, ou antique duf
fers of the J loan, or wo shall make it
very warm indeed for you.
Tea growing is now carried on in the
varrioiis parts of the South with con
siderable success. A gentleman in
Wilmington, Nort'u Carolina, has sue-ecB-fiilly
iaied plants and cured tea,
which be claims cannot be exellcd in
flavor by the imported article. lie
obtained the plants from the. Agricul
tural Bureau of the Patent Office, pre
vious to the war, and their number hus
increased every year, the latter plants
being fully equal in every respect to
those first grown. Successful exper
iments have nlso recently been made
in South Carolina and Tcnuessee.
"We know a girl", says some ono.so
indtMtrious, that.when she has nothing
else to do she sits and knifs her brow."
dare do our duty as we understand
The Riga For False Diamonds.
The badge of a Ring official is a
ilianiond breastpin almost always i
false. Only King leader, can afford to i Morning Pout in four days, and Gener
wear real gcm. Yet every messenger, I al Christie made a similar assertion ;
at 145 a month, who flirts about the I but is not known how far eithsr of
new Court House and City lla'l, wears them verified this statement. Robert
glittering jewels, which the uninitiated i Dillon could repeat in the morning
and perhaps the wearers, believe to be
real stones of considerable value. It
is not uncommon to see diamonds or
w hat purport to be such iu the ears of
shop-girls and in the bosom-fronts of
stable-boys. The consequence is that
this class of jewelry, expensive when
real ami gaudy when false, has been
given np by tho msj rity of honest
tolk, pearls beieg Worn" instead.
Artificial diamonds are made of a
peculiar glass called strass. This glass
lies a priqierty of refracting light in
the same way ns the diamond, and its
iminuftcturd has been carried on to
tuch perfection that an ordinary ob
server cannot distinguish gems made
of it from tho real diamonds. After
a few years these diamonds tend to
rrystalize, so that in tin years they bo
come turbid and lose all their luster.
These stones however, can always be
distinguished by a practical lapidary
by various tests, such as hardness and
peculiarities in cutting. Diamonds
are also imitated by a system called
"plueksge," in which a very thin slab
of diamond is cemented to some stone,
such as quarts or white topaz. Other
real stones, such as zircon and topaz,
w hen they are colorless, or only slight
ly colored, are passed off as diamonds.
It is generally supposed that diamonds
are white, but they are of all colors.
False diamonds are made altuovt en
tirely in Paris, Alaska and California
diamonds are only quartz or rock
The number of ftlse gems in use is
immeise. l'rol. lggieston ot t.)lum
bia College examined last year a larre
gem, supposed to be a ruby, fora lead
ing house here. He concluded from
optical examination that it was glass.
It came ostensibly from New Granada,
and had been scut to Paris r.nd pro
nounced real. In London suspicion
was thrown on it. It was very per
fect even the flaws were imitated.
Tho Professor was shown in Paris last
year a bill of 500 francs, paid by nn
American lady, who is famous for her
diaraouds, to a manufacturer of bogus
gems. His opinion is that this lady
has two real diamonds, and that the
rest, which would be worth f 1,000,000
if real, could nil be bought for the 500
francs. The nmjority of diamonds in
this country now, are used in mechan
ical work. As there is a tariff of ten
per cent, nn these goods, and as a
great deal of smuggling is done in con
sequence, there is no official account of
the gems imported, and it is impossi
ble t.) estimate the number now here.
The above fucts about false dia
monds, Ac, if generally known, would
have the effect of diminishing the
wearing by Americans the real dia
monds, just as imitation gilt jewelery
is now diminishing the use of real gold
ornaments among people of good taste
i c i ....i. :
and refined culture, niuco it is evi
dent that none but experts can dis
cern between real and bogus gems,
the real substantial citizens may very
willingly leave the use of this Juhiou
glitter to those of tho city's officials
who needed a'l Hie polish that they
can in auy way ucquire. V. '. Tri
bune. The Bret Ilurte style of woman is
appearing in France it seems. A For
eign correspondent writes : "A Com
mtinist woman was sentenced to lie
shot. She was taken out aril ftation.
ed against a wall, a largo crowd of
street peoplo gathering around to wit
ness the execution. Just as the soldeirs
were about to fire, she raised her
hands with the words, "Un inMaiil."
The soldiers paused. The sunimi hud
on a good outer garment; this she
took off, and seeing a woman iu the
crowd in raj.'s, went up to her and
said, "Tuk this ; it is a pity to spoil
good clolhes." Then sho returned to
her place and was shot. Such was the
last unselfish thought of a dying petro
leue, and such the heroism which in
spired the troops of Versailles iu deal
ing with a fallen foe. For. Cor.
A novel scheme 'u p.oposed bv the
Milwaukee YolkJreund. This is an
organization of tingle men for the
establishing of a joint stock hotel for
their own accommodation. Tlu man
agement of the im-titutioii Is to be in the
hands of a board of trustees, and the
great object the association i. to foru
inti un economical home for unmarried
men, securing for them also un asylum
in rase of sickness. The movement ia a
good one, uud, if successful, worthy of
The Louisville Courier-Journal re
murk: "The Pittsburgh, Woman Suf
frage At- oi iulioll informs the world
that 'mail isonlv an imperfectly shaped
woman. Uoes inn r. v. n. n. menu
to siiv that 'un imperfectly developed
wonia:i is a man ?' "
A Vn Yorker contemplates rui.in
ostricU for the sake of their (lathers.
If these birds should become comiuou
us domestic fowls tiny will solve the
great question: "What is to bo done
with the old tin cans? '
$2 PER ANNUM.
Curiosities of Memory.
" John Kemble used to say thai lie
could learn a 'whole nun:bir of the
six columns ot a newspaper he had
read over night. During tH repeal
debates in the Hoiiss of Commons,
thirty-seven years ngn.nne of the me n
btrs wrote nut his speech, sent it to
the newspapers, and repeated it tn the
house in the evei.ing; it was found to
be the same, verbatim, as that which
he had written out. John Fuller, a
land agent In Norfolk, could remem
ber every word of a sermon, and write
it out correctly after going home; this
was tested by comparing his written
account with the clergyman's manu
script. Scaliger cculd repeat a hun
dred verses or more alter hearing
mem read a aincie Uma. ereuoca
could repeat two thousand words on
hearing tlicra once. Mafliabecchi,
who liud a. prcuigiorj inemoi'-', wa3
once put to acovere teat. A gontismnn
lent him a m&nusci'ipt, w hich was rend
and returned. Th9 owner, somo time
afterward, pretending he had lost it,
beggi d Mugliubecchi to write out ns
ir.uih r.3 l:e coul.l renumber; where
upon he wrote out the whole essay.
Cyrus, if some of the old historians
are to be credited, could remember the
name of every soldier in his whole ar
my. There was a Corsican boy who
could rohearw forty thousand words,
whether Ben3c or nonomo,as they were
dictated, r.nd then repent iheu in tho
reversed order, without nskir.sr a sin
gle mistake. A physl-jkn of Massa
chusetts, about helf century ago.
couui repeat tho v.hoij ci 1 t'.r.itiisa
List" without mistake, ait'iough he
had not rcati it tor twenty years,
Euler, the treat mcthenini.cian, when
he became blind, could repc.t the
whole o. Virgil's "JSneid," and could
remember the first line ind tho .a.-L
line ou every page of tho particular
edition which lie had been r.ocu toiued
to lead before he became blind.
One kind of retentive memory may
be oonsidend as the result ot sheer
herd wo, k, a determinatin.i tnvard one
particular achievement, without refer
ence either to. cultivation or to meuo
ry oa other subiecis. This is frequently
shown by persons iu huiublo life in re
gard to the Bible. An old beggar
laan et Stirling, know a some forty
years ago ai Bliud Aleck, afforded an
instance of this. He knew the whole
of the Biole by heart; insomuch that,
if a sentence were read to him he
could name hook, chapter, and verse;
or, if the book, chapter and verse were
named, he could give the exact words.
A gentlemen, to test liiu, repeated n
verse, purposely making ona verbal in
accuracy ; Aleck hesitated, named the
place where the passage is to l3 found,
but at the same time pointed ;tit the
verbal error. The same gcr.itlci.mil
asked him to repeat tho ninetieth
. verse of the seventh chi'.pter of the
i book of Numbers. Aleck aluiort in-
' ., ...i ,
stautly replied. "There is no s.icli
verse ; that chapter has only eighty
nine, verses." ,
. The following dm'njue on "sharp
shooting" quietly took p!aco betweeu
a Vigiuian and a Yankee pi' ket:
"I say, can you fellows shoot?"
"Wall, I reckon we can, some.
Down in Mississippi v.e can knock a
bumble bee off a thistle blow lit three
"Oh, that ain't nothing to the way
we shoot up in Vermont. J belonged
to a military company there with a
liuiidrrd men in each company, and
we went out for practice every week.
Tho capl'u draws us id single file and
sets a barrel of cider rolling dow n hill,
and cech man takes his shot ut the
bung hole ns it turns tip. It is after
ward examined, and if there is a shot
that l ill n't go into the bung hole the
member w ho mibscd it is expelled. I
belonged to the company ten years,
and there uiu'l been nobody expelled
In one of tlie Ohio towns, a citizen
had rendind himself obnoxious to the
rest of he community, so be was placed
in the bands ot a vigilance committee
which ,..udo this report: "We took
the thief down to the rivei. made a
hole in the ice and proceeded to duck
him, but he .lipped through our hands
and hid under the ice. All our i Iforl
to entice him out failc.1, and he hus
low retained his imiut of advantage
"What a traveler you have become!"
exclaimed an r.ugliliiuan on meet in
a lc jUciii.iii al i oiiMmitinopic. "lo
l. II you the truth," tut the frank reply,
"1 am obliged In run about the world
to keep ahea I of my it.aiacUT. The
moment it overtakes me I am ruined;
but 1 tloii't care who knows me to
long us 1 travel invyin'o."
The United Stales, it is said, will be
u heavy purchaser at sale of rare
ami valuable books to take place ia
Is.ndou some nine during tho present
1 month. 1 he books ill bo added to
! tho Coiign sii dial Library, and Mr.
Spolford. Librarian, is ih.w making a
selection lioru ti.o calAno of books
' to Im sol I
Rates of Advertising.
Onflqaare(l ineli,) one Insertion.. ..it m
One Square " one month a 00
One Square " three months... W
One Square . " one year 10
Two Square, one year '8 00
Quarter Col. " 09
One " " 1W w
Business Cards, not eeeedlng one Inch ,
In length, $10 per year.
Legal notices at established rates.
These rates are low, and no deviation
will be insde, or discriminstlon among
patrons. The rates ottered are sucn,
will make It to the sdvantaneof men dot
business in the limits of the oirculation of
tlie paper to advertise liberally.
A presiding elder of the United"
Brethern Church, while preaching, was
much annoyed by persons talking and
laughing. He paused, looked at the
disturber., and said: "I am always
afraid to reprove those who misbehave
in church. In the early part of my
ministry I made a great mistake. As
I was preaching, a young man who sat
just befor me was constantly laugh
ing, talking and making uncouin
grimaces, i paused ana anminister
ed a servere rehuke. After the close
of tha service one of the official mem
bers came and said to me. "Brother
.you made a great mistake. That
voting man whom you reproved is an
idiot. Since then I have always beea
afraid to reprove those who misbehave
in church lest i should repeat thai mis
take, and reprove another id'ot." Dur
ing the rest of service, at least, there
was good order.
A story is told of a certain man and
his wife who were almost always quar
reling. During their quarrels, their
only child (a boy) was generally pres
ent, nad, of course, heard many ot his
father's expressions. One day, when
the boy had been doing something
wron?, tho mother, intending to chaB.
tise him, called him, and Baid, "Come
here, sir, what did you do that for?"
the boy, complacently folding hia
arms, urtl imitating his father's man
ner, said, "Sea here, madam! I don't
wish to have any words with you!'r
Two young princes, the sons of
Archduke Charles of Austria, had a
warm dispute in the presence ot no less
a per3nn than that of the Emperor
himself. Greatly e-cited, one said to
othar, "You nro gicateat ass in Vien
na'." Highly offended at a quarrel ia
bis prunes, the Emperor interrupted
thorn, saying, with indignation, "Come,
come, young gentlemen, you lorget
that 1 am present."
A letter from Knob Noster, Mo.,
mentions a singular physical phenom
enon occurring there. It says a con
tlnus.1 rain has descended for two weeks
from a cloudless sky.nnd confined to a
space oF only twenty feet in diameter.
1 lis phenomenon has been qnservea
by many persons, and the writer asks
for a scientific explanation. St. Louit
An Oshkosh hackman, the other
evening, drove a voting lady up to the
wrong hnuie. 'the mistaVo was not
discovered until after she had cor
liially kiiseda young gentleman who
had cemo down to the gate to meet
the new airivel.
A fellow, in an oblivious siate, took
up his lodging in the street. He awoke
next morning, and, straightening him
self up, looked on the ground on which
he had made his couch, and said, "Well
if I had a pick-axe I would make up
A wit being told that an old ac
quaintance was married, exclaimed, "I
am glad to hear it." But reflecting a
moment, lie added, in a tone of com
pasBiou and forgiviness, "And yet I
don't know why I should be, he never
did mo auy harm."
A sexton being very familiar with a
physician, was asked whether he had
entered into partnership with , him.
"Oh yes,"said he, "we've been together
for some time; I always carry the doc
tor's work home when it Is done."
"It is strange," muttered a young
mnn, as he staggered home from a sup
per party, "how evil communications
corrupt good manners. I have been
surrounded by tumblers all eyeuing,
and now 1 am a tumbler myself,"'
The New York World abandons
Tammany for a moment to suv : The
three foot railway tracks are likely to
remain a peculiarly Ameuean institu
tioiis, since it is evident that they can
never make a narrow gauge abroad.
"Excuse this bit of sarcasm," said
Smith t Jones, "but I must say that
you are an infamous liar and scoinlrel.
"pardon this hit of irony," said J;mes
to Smith, as he knocked him over with
Jones says that he first met his wife
in a storm, took her to the first ball in
a storm, popped the question in a
storm, married her in a storm, lived hie
subsequent married life in a storm,
but buried her in pleasant weather.
Thcro was once-an independent obi
lady who, speaking of Adam's naming
all the animals, said she didn't think
he deserved auy credit fur naming the
pig-uuy oue would know what to call
Iu response to an inquiry of scien
tific publication: "Whence come fleas?"
a western journal says it does not care
a pickle, but wouiu naeio snow nio
in thuuder they go when you go for
"Now, then, children," said a par
irb Mbool iiiistirss, showing her pu
pils otf on examination duy, "Who
love all men?'' "You, missus," was
the unexpected auswer.
A local poet indicted a sonnet to hi J
Mistress entitled "I kiss her sub rosa."
The coinpositer knew better tbau that,
and set it up iu printer's latin, "1 kiss. I
her ruub UueU."
The je. it that jivtS r'!1 ! CO ji.