Ratos of Advertising.
R
One Square (1 Inch,) one Insertion fl
One Square " one month - 3 no
One Square " three months... 1 no
One Square " ono year 10 no
Two Square, one year l!
Quarter Cnl. " H
in ruBi.tsunn kvkiiy Tuesday, by
W. R. DUNN.
DlTlce In K.rpx's Building! Elrt Street
b OREST
EPUBLICAN.
Half " " uw
One " " 100 00
TERMS, 2.00 A YEAR.
Subscriptions rocolvod for a shorlor
period than thrno months.
. CorrosHndnncn solicited from nil part
of the country. No notice will bo taken of
annonymous communications.
Marriage and Don tlx notices Inserted
Btntis.
RusinoHS Cards, not exceeding ono inch
In length, J10 per year.
'Let us have Faith that Right makes Might; and in that Faith let us to the end, dare do our duty as we understand it."--LINCOLN.
Legal notices at established rates.
These rates are low. and no deviation
tvlll be made, or discrimination anions
patrons. The ratos offered are such,
will make It to the advantage of men dot.
VOL. IV. NO. 30.
TI0NESTA, PA., TUESDAY, OCTOBER 31, 1871.
$2 PER ANNUM.
business in the limits of the circulation of
the paper to advertise liberally.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TIONESTALODGK.NO. 477,
X. O. Q-. T.
,Teols every Wodnosday evening, at 8
lil o'clock.
V. R. DUNN, W. C. T.
M. W. TATE, W. 8.
4. If JtWTOIf PETTIS. MIl4 W, TATB.
PETTIS & TATB,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
tm Street, TTOXESTA, PA.
Isaac Ash,
TTORNEY AT LAW, Oil City. Pa.
iV. Will practice In'the various Courts of
l'orcsl C'oilnty. All business entrusted to
ill rare will receive prompt attention.
1U ly
W. W. Mason,
ATTORNEY AT LAW. Omce on Elm
Strcot, above Walnut, Tlonesta, l'a.
C. W. Gllfillan,
A TTORNEY AT LAW, Franklin, Ve
j v nuiigo Co., l'a. tf.
N. B, Smiley,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Petroleum Cen
tre, Pa. Will practice In tlio several
Alourta of Eorost County. 36-ly
W. P. MerclUiott,
Attorney at Law.
. AND
HEAL ESTATE ACS EXT.
TI ONESTA, PA.
57-tf
CLAR.K A FASSETT,
A TTOItXE YS AT LAW,
WARREN AND TIDIOUTE, PA,
MMTE UNDERSIGNED havin assorl
X ami themselves together in the prac
tice of law, oiler their professional services
to tlio pubiio.
Ilusiurss promptly attended to in all the
courts of arrou, i'orest and adjoining
counties.
JUHIU8 & CLARK,
Warrou, Pa.
D. D. FA88ETT,
Tidioute, Pa.
Tlonesta House.
MITTEL, Proprietor, Elm St., Tlo-
nesta. Pa., at the mouth of the creek,
Mr. IiUo has thoroughly renovated the
'Tlonesta House, and re-furnished it com
pletely. All who patroniKo him will be
well entortalaod at reasonable rates. 20 ly
FOREST HOUSE,
i.
BLACK PROPRIETOR. Opposito
Court House, Tionosta, Pa. Just
opened. Everything new and clean and
fresh. The best of liquors kept constantly
on hand. A portion of the pubiio patron
age Is respectfully solicited. 4-17-1 v
Holmes House,
nnONESTA, PA., opposite the Depot.
1 C. I). Muhio, Proprietor. Good Sta
bling connected with the house. tf.
, Syracuse House,
"TMDIOUTR, Pa., J. A D Maokr, Froplo
. A tors. The liouso has been thoroughly
refitted and is now in the first-class order,
with tlio best of accommodations. Any
nt'orination concerning Oil Territory at
liiiMpoiui wui do ciieoriuiiv rumisnon.
-ly J. AD. MAGER,
Exchange Hotel,
T OWER TIDIOUTE. Pa.. D.'S. Rams-
. .Li dkkIj A Son Prop's. This house having
been rctitod is now the most desirable stop
ring place in Tidioute. A good Billiard
ktooiu attached.
4-ly
Mational Hotel,
TRVINETON. PA. W. A. Hallonback.
Proprietor. This hotel Is New, and is
ow open as a first class house, situate at
no Junction of the Oil Creek A Allegheny
jttiverand Philadelphia A Erie Railroads,
onosite the Donot. Parties having to lay
ver trains will find this the most conven
ient hotel in town, with first-class aecom
juhIbUohs and reasonable charges. tf.
Dr. J. I Acorrb,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, who has
1 had fifteen years' experience in a large
ana successful nraotloo. will attend all
l'rofcssionuM'itlls. Olllce In his Drug and
Wroeerv Htow, located In Tidioute, near
.Tidiouto liouso.
IN II IS STORE WILL BE FOUND
.A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobacco. Cigars, Stationery, Glass, Paints.
OU, Cutlery, and line Groceries, all of the
'.host quality, and will be sold at reasonable
rates.
11. It. BURGESS, an experienced Drug'
U 1st from New York, has charge of the
- Store. All prescriptions put up accurately.
it.
. SLOAN & VAN GIESEN.
AND
WAGON-MAKERS.
Corner of Church and Elm Streets,
TIONESTA, 13V.
This firm is prepared to do all work In
ils line, and will warrant everything done
nt inoir snops 10 give saiisiacuou, l ar
ticular attention given to
IIOKSISIIOEIXO,
Give them a trial, and you will not ro
Kret it. 13-ly.
JOHN A. PALI, PREIT.
OHN A. PROPER, VICE PREtT. A. H. STEELE, CA6HR
TIOITESTA
SAVINGS BANK,
Tlonesta, Eorost Co., l'a.
WuU Itsuk transacln a General Ranking
OjlLiWjinr mill KvchaillTO Business.
Jrfu on the Principal Cities of the
UinUi KtaU and Europe bought and sold
Hold and Kilver Coin and (lovornuieiit
Securities bought and sold. 7-30 Bonds
onverted on Ilia most favorable terms.
lnUiruxt allow wd on time deposits.
Mar. 4, tf.
OL' BSC KIBE fur the ForCbl llepublicrn
T A. WRlOffT. IWv.
OKU. W. DITHBMM'lK.
HtutMS ManaffftS
THE SUPERIOR LUMBER CO.,
MANUFACTURERS OF
Pine Lumber, Lath, Shingles &c.
mills on Tionrsta Creek, Forest Co., Pa.
Tirdt I Office tor. ili 1 Rail Road Sli.,
PITTSBURGH, PA.
EDWAKD DITHRIDOS.
K. D. DITHRIDOS
FORT PITT GLASS WORKS.
Established A. D. 1827.
emmi&GE & sate,
XANUPACTUBBRfl OP
Dithridge's xx Flint Glass
PATENT OVAL
LAMP CHIMNEYS.
AND
Silvered Glass Reflectors.
Those chimneys do not break by heat.
Ask for Dim tu does. Take no other.
DITHRIDGE A RON,
25-ly. Pittsburgh, To.
Xcw Hoarding House.
MRS. 8. 8. HULINGS has built a large
addition to her house, and is now pre
pared to accommodate a number of perma
nent boarders, and all transiont ones who
mav favor her with their patronage. A
good stable has recently been built to ac
commodate me norscs oi guesw. marges
reasonable. Residence on Elm St., oppo
site S. Haslet's storo. 23-ly
Jos. T. Saul,
PRACTICAL Harness Maker Mid niii
dlor. Three doors north of Holmes
House, Tionosta, Fa. All work is war
ranted, tf.
NOTICE.
DR. J. N. BOLARD, of Tldlonte, has
returnsd to his practice after an ab
sence of four months, spent In the Hospi
tals of New York, where he will attend
calls in his profession.
utlloe in Kureka Drug store, an ooor
ibove the bank, Tidioute, Pa. 4irtf
GREAT EXCITEMENT!
at the Store of
D. S. KNOX, Sc. CO.,
Elm St., ioucsta Pa.
We are in dally receipt ai tie argaatand
MOST COMPLETE stock
GROCERIES
nn1
rnovisiox)",
EVER BROUGHT TOTHIS MARKET
BOOTS & SHOES !
FOR THE
MILLIONS!
which we are determined to sell regardless
of prices.
HABWABE
AND
House Furnishing Goods, Iron, Nails,
Machine tools, Agricultural Implements,
Ac, Ac,, Ac, which we offer at greatly re
duced pricos.
FURNITURE ! FURNITURE ! I
of all kinds,
PARLOR SUITS,
CHAMBER SETS,
LOUNGES,
WHATNOTS,
BPRING BEDS,
MATRESSES,
LOOKING GLASS
ES, Ac., Ac., Ac.
In ENDLESS VARIETY. Call and see.
7-tf
D. S. KNOX, A CO.
erf AGENTS WANTED! Just out!
flUU tlio latest best and cheapest Map
of "Penns vl vania." Agents make money
on our Maps, Charts, Stationery iiackages,
tc. Ijirge prolits!! HAASlS A l.C-
BK1AI1T, r.mpire map ami t n.rv
rnw. niTHR!ion, rr.
K D, DITUM1DUK, Tnn.
Marriao"Wiiat It It?
The great Apostle to the Gentiles
forcibly enjoins his son Timothy to
"Hold fast the form of sound words."
For words are things. Give a sophist
liberty to affix to them such meanings
as suit his purpose, and he will reason
God out or the universe.
The word Marriage is thus defined
by all the standard English lexico
graphers whose works are within our
reach at this moment.
By Dr. Samuel Johnson : 1. "The
act of uniting a man. and woman for
life. 2. State' of perpetual union."
By Noah Webster : 1. "The act of
marrying, or the state of being mar
ried ; union . of man and woman'
as husband and wife; matrimony. 2.
A feast made on the occasion of a
marriage."
By John Craig : "The act of uniting
a man and woman for life in wedlock ;
the legal union of a man and woman
for life; a feast made on the occasion
of a marriage."
By Samuel Worcester : "The act of
marrying, or uniting a man and wo
man for life as husband and wife ; the
state of legal union between a man
and woman; matrimony; wedlock; wed
ding; nuptials." '
Every one but Webster makes union
for life essential to Marriage, and Web
ster intimates no dissent from the gen
eral dictum.
Consider now the promise required
by the Christian Church cf every man
who presents himself as a candidate
for marriage. We quote from the
liturgy of the Protestant Episcopal
Church, but it is essentially the same
in all churches :
Minister "Wilt thou have this wo
man to thv wedded wife, to live togeth
er after God's ordinance in the holy
estate 0i matrimony? W"t thou love
her. comfort her, honor aud KC?p ner in
sickness and in health; and, forsaking
all others, keep thee only to her, to
long o ye both thall live f" The man
shall answer, "I will."
Now we are not hero arguing that
the Woodhull-Clafliu crowd have not
devised or adopted a substitute which
is vastly superior to Marriage we will
consider that point in its order. For
the present, we only insist on the ob
vious truth that what they commend
and delight in it not Marriage, but
something quite other than that, which
should be called by its own proper
name, whatever, that may be. We
do not wish to name it; but why
should not they ? He who has invent
ed something vastly superior to an ax,
a hoe, an auger, does not seek to con-
tound it with that which it is intended
to supersede; he gives it a distinguish
ing name, and tries to make the dis
tinction between the old and the new
as broad and emphatic as he may.
Our new lights, on the contrary, seek
to palm on their nostrum for what it
is not, and thereby betray their con
sciousness ot its interior character.
No man tries to pass off gold for brass,
or silver for pewter , if he tries to de
ceive at all. he nroffers his newter as
silver, his brass as gold, and profit as
may hap by the presumed lack of diS'
cernment in his customers.
We demand that those who com
mend the Woodhull-Claflin substitute
for Marriage shall commend it as a
substitute, and under a distinct name.
Is not that demand clearly just?
The great professors who can face
the battery of a thousand eyes direct
ed to them on the rostrum are frequent
ly the most dinident of men when ta
ken away from their regular sphere of
labor. I here was rrotessor Aytoun,
who was too timid to ask papa for his
wife. When Jane Emilv Wilson sug
gested to him that before sue could
give her absolute consent it would be
necessary that he should obtain ner
father'a approval "You must speak
for me." said the suitor, "for I could
not summon courage to speak to the
Professor on this subject." "Papa is in
the library," said the lady. "Then you
had better go to him," said the suitor,
"and I'll wait till you return." The
lady proceeded to the library, and,
taking her father affectionately by the
haud.raentioned that Professor Aytoun
bad asked her in marriage, bhe add
ed, "Shall I accept his otter, papa ? He
is so diffident that he won't speak to
you about it himself." "Then we must
deal tenderly with his leeliugs, said
the hearty old Christopher. "I'll write
my reply on a slip of paper, and pin
it to your back." "Papa s answer is
on the back of may dress," said Mies
Jane, as she entered the drawing-room
Turning round, the delighted suitor
read these words: "With the author's
compliments,"
A fair story is told of a recent
Iowa hail storm, which they say as
bad as a shower of pitchforks, some of
the stones enough to be called bould
ers. The tin roofs, where it occurred
were punched full of holes; all the
glass which happened to be in its way
some eight thousand lights, was bro
ken, and innumerable pigs and chick
ens were killed. As to the cropB
there was nothing left of them. The
standing corn was chopped up fine
enouch to be fed to the stock without
the uecessity of passing it through
cutter, and the ccouud lias been all
plowed up for buckwheat aud turuips,
French Railway Travelling.
We might copy with advantage
many of the Customs in vogue on
French railways, especially that one
in regard to meals. Instead of the
hurried exit from the cars, to grab and
swollow half masticated a lot of indi
gestible food, and finish the hasty bite
in me cars, we mignt imitate toe
French plan with much advantage to
our comfort as well as health. Just
before the usual time for meals, an
agent goes through the cars, takes your
orders, telegraphs them ahead, and on
reaching the station, what you have
asked for is handed 'in, to be consumed
at your leisure on the journey ; or, de
scending into the refreshment-rooms,
you find small baskets upon the "buf-
iet," containing, with such refresh
ments as are most called for, a knife
and fork, napkin, plate and class. On
each basket is a label stating the con
tents and price. I lie passenger buys
the basket, takes it into his carriage,
dines or lunches at his leisure, and at
the next station at whic. the train
stops hands back the basket, etc., to a
. . I- f n j ? .
waiter, wno receives ior H a nxea price,
which is also set down on the label.
-This system has just been begun in
England on the Midland express, lhe
correspondent of a London paper on a
recent journey says that at one of the
stopping-places lie obtained a neat
basket, containing halt a lowl, salad,
bread, butter, cheese, pint of stout (or
claret optional,) napkin, plate, knife,
and fork, and corkscrew all compact
ly arranged, the eatables excellent.
No deposit was asked merely a civil
request to hand the basket out at the
next station ; so, instead of rushing
frantically about and insanely swal
iowi'.ig the traditional sandwich, he
quietly spread and impromptu table,
and lunched as comfortably as could
be desired. Which of our railroads
will be the first to introduce this sensi
ble custom T
Genius and Common Sense.
Genius and common sense are best
together. Genius alone runs much to
rashness, and common sense by itself
not seldom hides , behind caution.
Consequently genius frequently is out
at elbows, and common sense just as
often remains only comfortable when
it might get rich. Genius invents a
thing and constructs an expensive mod
el, and secures a patent before ever
making a working, drawing or fully
deciding upon the proper arangement
of the parts. Common sense shivers
before the expense of model, machine,
and patent, and lets well-enough alone,
untill go-aheadativcncss grabs the
idea, walks off with it, and leaves com
mon sense out in the cold, ncitner
poorer nor richer than he was before.
This is a metaphorical way of starting
a swlid truth. There is probably not
a township in the country in which
two inventors might not be found, one
a genius daring every thing and losing
all, the other priding bimselt on his
common-sense, running n risks and
making nothing,
' 1
A Good Story.
Olive Logan told a story, in her lec
ture on "Nice Young Men," at Fred
erick, Md., the other night, to this effect:
"At Middletown, Del., where 1 spent
Sunday, some friends gave me some
pretty plants to take home, and some
rich dirt from their garden to keep
them in. I have carried these plants
and this dirt about with me for a week,
I am so determined to take them home
myself.- At Hagerstown, yesterday,
Mrs. Dorsey Herbet asked me why I
carried that dirt about, and I replied
that we had no dirt in New York rich
enough for these plants. "Why,"
said Mrs. Herbert a life-long Demo
crat by the way "You've got Tam
many ?"
There is a boy iu Florida, fourteen
years old, named Judson Blount, who
saved many lives the other day. He
discovered a place on the railroad
where the rains had undermined the
the roadbed, and ran about a mile
and a half up the road to warn a pas
senger train. As with its precious
freight it came thundering down the
grade the boy waved his hat. The
engineer only looked wonderingly
at him, aud be then took off his coat
and waved that. Of course it was all
done in a moment; but the engineer
realized that something was wrong,
and stopped his train in season to
escape a fatal catastrophe.
The natural desire of one femiuino
to take down another is thus illustrat
ed iu the New Bedford Mercury : A
young woman, gaily dressed in a hand
some skirt and bright colored shawl,
was coming out of Liberty Hull lately,
when a malignant femalo raised the
shawl, showing the crowd that the up
per portion of the skirt was composed
of niuny colors as au old fashioned bed
quilt.
A now bird cage is in vogue, liia
made of wood, such as rustic chairs in
parks, and is so ingeniously covered
with leaved and flowers growing iu the
earth at the bottom as to wholly hide
tho wood and wire. 1 lie birds seem
within a little bower of natural flowers.
Curious Court.
The court-martial of France charg
ed with the trial of Communist prison
ers went through a delectable farce not
long since, in that it tried and passed
sentence on members of the "Corps of
Fightirig Infants," who ranged in age
from six to eleven years, condemning
some to return home and others to con
finement for the rest of their minoHty
in a house of correction. Seven judges
sat behind a big table, dressed in gor
geous military array, the judge-advocate
on their right and the registrar
on their left all in uniform. Below
them were two rows of gendarmes with
fixed bayonets guarding fifteen little
fellows whase heads barely reached up
to the prisoners' bar. Eight of these
gamins were between six and eleven
years of age, and fourteen had, as ful
ly proven, shouldered rifles and fought
at the barricades, seme of them hav
ing remained there to bo wounded and
knocked over long after their older
comrades in arms had run away.' They
had belonged to Let Pupitles, or Let
Infants de Commune; being regularly
enrolled, and furnished with a uniform
of kepis and striped trousers. The
poor- little fellows, successors of
Gavroche, were born, like him to
wretchedness and vagabondage, and
many were orphans, illegitimate or
abandoned children, and pleaded in
excuse for having taken up arms that
they were drireu to do so by hunger
and want. At the trial, the parents of
those who had parents generally asked
the government to do what they would
with them, and they were left like lost
parcels, in the hands of their finders.
It is not so generally known as it
ought to be that a human being is lia
ble to infection from a glandered horse.
Numerous such cases have been record
ed in medical works ; and only a few
weeks ago a man named Martin, who
lived in Washington county, Md., suf
fered a horrible dath from this cause.
While attending to a horse which had
the glanders, some of the virus from
the deceased animal's nose or mouth
found its way into a cut on one of his
thumbs, and shortly afterward he waa
taken with spasms, which were, suc
ceeded by severe nausea and utter
prostration. Although medical assis
tance was immediately procured, and
the man had every reasonable atten
tion, be lived only a few days after the
infection manifested itseli. lielore dy
ing his body became a mass of ulcers,
and at the end the flesh fell in pieces
from his bones. When a horse is found
to be glandered, it should be killed at
once, and proper measures takca to
disinfect ever object that has been in
contact with the animal,
The great tunnel through the Sierra
Nevada ia to he five miles long, nine
teen feet high, and twenty-one feet
wide. IU cost is to be (15,000,000.
The contractor for the work, Colonel
Von Schmidt, is an engineer of some
renown, whose principal works in this
country have been the excavation of
the famous San Francisco dry dock,
blasted in a ledge of solid rock, and
the demolition of Blossom Kock, San
Francisco Bay, by submarine excava
tion and blasting. The Sierra tunnel
will permit the passage of the Pacific
Railroad track and a canal to supply
San Francisco with water from Lake
Tahoe.
Nature is industrious in adorning
her dominions, and man, to whom this
beauty is addressed, should feel and
obey the lesson. Let him, too, be in
dubtrious in adorning his domain, in
making his home not only convenient
and comfortable, but pleasant. Let
him be industrous in surrounding it
with pleasant objects, in decorating it
within aad without with things that
tend to make home the abode of neat
ness and order. Ye parents who
would have your children happy, be
industrious to bring them up in the
midst of a pleasant, cheerful and hap
py home.
It was found during the trials of life
preservers (so-called) by the Superin
tending Inspectors at Washington,
that they would not sustain a man of
one hundred and thirty pounds weight,
and they decided that hereufter all
life preservrs should contain at last
six pounds of cork. Thus it appears
that for years past steamboat travellers
have been trusting to what are mere
shows in the way of life-saving appa
ratus, aud that so far from aidiug a
person in the water to sustain himself,
they would be far more likely to drag
him to the bottom.
In many of the manufactories in
Massachusetts steam engines are being
added, to be used in connection with
the water power. A town with a wa
ter power cau accommodate twice as
many mills, and, at the same time, in
the eveut of any drought or other ac
cident to the water power, the mills
are guarded aguinst a stoppage which
so ofteu materially affects their busi
ness. A cheerful tevant has discovered
that mosquitoes are a providential
guard against disease, upon tho sup
position, that iu summer the human
system is eculiarly liable to fever, aud
the insects, by depleting tho quantity
of blood, get up a counter irritation.
Better Imagined Than Described.
The feelings of a near-Bighted man
who find; he has kissed his hand to the
wrong lady.
The finding vour Docket book pone
just as you are about lcaveinaa strange
hotel", with no time to spara. to reach
the train.
The rapidity with which fancy stocks
decline, when you go in, and rise when
you -sellout.
The sensation from a lady's boolheel
(present style) when slio setps on
your foot accidentally.
The prices charged at some hotels
on "the European style."
The skill with which the "gentle
manly" bar keeper gives you Bhort
change.
Getting on horse-back for the first
time in your life.
The amount of your gas and plumb
ing bills.
Your mother-in-law's remarks if you
do not go to tho mountain or sea-shore
during the season.
The being asked by a person at an
evening party, with whom you are
acquainted, but whose name you can
not recollect to introduce him to your
friend, Miss Smuggings, who is coming
towards you.
A New York museum proprietor
has recently secured two canine curios
ities. Both are bipeds, being without
fore feet or any portion thereof. It is
no work of skillful surgery, as there
is an entire absence of shoulder blade
or joint. These dogs are remarkably
clover in tricks. They walk erect, or
lie on the floor in imitation of seals,
drawing their heads full down to the
shoulders, or where the Bhoulders
should be, aud stretching out their
hind feet close together, and far be
hind. They march like soldiers, arm
ed with miuature muskets adjusted to
their bodies.
One of the latest manifestations of
American enterprise is exhibited in
the invasion of Kamtchatka by a party
of Californians, who are now engagoed
in exploring that byperdorean region
for gold. Quite a colonly has
been established, and though the re
sult of the enterprise has been kept
very quiet, s'pecimons of gold dust
sent to San Francisco prove that the
precious metal exists there. The first
detachment of miners left San Fran
cisco last spring, and the colony has
since been reinforced.
' The substitution of slate for box wood
for engraving has been lately found to
be both ecomonical and efficient for
the desired purpose. Especially is it
adapted for engraving in relief. It is
stated, unit While blocks ot slate are
eaelv cut. they will wear as well as
electrotypes, and furnished over 100,
000 impressions without loss of detail.
The plates are not anected by oil or
water, do not vary with temperature
and never becorao wraped, winch in
the grand fault with box wood under
certain conditions.
The subiact of impression at first
sight was being talked over at the tea
table when the lady whose duty it was
to preside, said, "she always formed
an idea of a person at first sight, and
generally found it to be correct
"Mamma," said her youngest son, in a
shrill voice, that attracted the atten
tion of all present. "Well, my dear,
what is it" replied the good mother,
"I want to know what was your opinion
when you first saw me? 1 he question
gave a sudden turn to tae conversation
The "devil" has been at it again in
the newspaper offices. The New Ha
ven Jteginter lately referred in the
most touching manner to "alum water,"
as the types would have alma mater,
and the "letter press" of the Chicago
Tribune has been transmogrified into
a "setter pup."' The substitution of
"fanatic" for the plainly written
"Democratic" newspaper iu the Jour
nal office the other day, is only au in
dication that the devil sometimes ap
pears as an angel of light.
The Berlin Correspondent, in an ac
count of tho German navy, says:
Every ship in the German service,
even tho smallest gun bout, is provid
ed with detailed drawings aud sections
of every foreign war ship. Its weak
points are especially stated and details
given as to tho spots to he aimed at
with most likelihood to disabling the
machinery.
"Now, young people," said a profes
sor of natural history to his class,
"now, then, as to hens; a hen has the
capacity to lay just six hundred eggs,
aud no more; aud sho finishes the job
in just about five years. Now what is
to be doue with her after that?" "Cut
off her head and sell her for a spring
chicken !" exclaimed an urchin w hose
futher dealt in poultry.
An English farmer possesses a nov
elty in the form of a cow w ith a wood
en leg. The animal having lumed one
of her hiud legs, a skillful veterinary
surgeon tried the experiment of ampu
tation. Tho operation was successful.
A wooden leg was provided, and the
cow walks about very comfortably.
Somo Western clergymen have made
application to Mr. Morrissey for per
mission to viMt his Saratoga club
house.
CLIPTOCRAWS.
A citizen of Wisconsin, on a recent
trin to St. Louis, took a slcening car
berth on a through express train. In
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the night he got up, and ciaa oniy in
his sleeping garments, went out on the
platlorm ot the ear to look at tne
moon. The door closed with a spring
lock and the porter was asleep. Ho
says he never enjoyed a fifty-mile rido
as ho did that one.
On of tlio sillv abstractions of the
"health" journals, which greatly dam
aces their usefulness, is that which de
clares that it is unhealthy for two pec-
pio to sleep togctner. A man oi ntne
tv.ninn tiled tho other dnv from the
effects of sleeping with his wife nearly
eighty years or from some other
cause.
The inevitable counts have, at this i
seemingly premature period, mado ;
their advent at several ot the lashion-
able resorts. One or two, no doubt, j
have pedigree and right to title, but
the majority are worthless foreign ad
venturers, lhe usual silly nutter ana
fashionable agitation has been created
by their arrival.
Says the Louisville Courier Jour- i
nal : "Somo of the Bourbon papers 1
charge that we have 'swallowed the 1
amendments.' We have done nothirg ,
of the sort. They were thrust down 1
our throats, and wo simply declined '
to blow oureselves ud with nitro-gly-
cerine to get rid of them.
Col. O. W. Diekev of California has I
issued a challenge offering to match
a greeu horse that has never trotted !
for money, mile heats, three best in
fivo, to harness, over tho Sacramento g
Rfcn Course. Aen'mst anv horse, mare. "
or gelding in the world, tor aiu.uuu.
The challenge has been accepted.
Madame Ree-ina Dal Cin. a famous
feminine surgeou of Austria, perform
ed 150 successful operations iu tho
City Hospital at Trieste, and was re
warded by the municipal authorities
with a letter of thanks and a purso of
gold.
A Norwich man sat down iu tho
Thames thinking that it was his do
mestic rocking chair. He was fished
out after remarking that "some fool
was always leaving a pan oi water in
those chairs."
Mullonev sav that the only way to
succeed in the grocery business, is to )
sell cheap and give light weight. The 1ttfff
former will bring you customers, while I
the latter will enable you to skin.
them.
It is fashionable and eminently the
correct thing to do the lakes and Cad
adas in connection with a tour of the
fashionable summer resorts. The sail
down the St. Lawrence is very grand.
A "city" out in Nevada, called Bob
Tailed Gulch, has seven dwelling
houses and thirty-seven saloons. There
is talk of tearing down somo of tho
houses to make more room.
The International Hotel, Niagra
Falls, is designated by hackmen and
others as "Bride's Retreat," from the
fact that it is a great rendezvous for
uowly married persons.
The Harvard Advocate says that
this is the last thing from an impas
sioned lover to his mistress: "Would
you were an exclamation point and I
a parenthesis (!)."
At fifteen, girls think that they aro
perfect, at tweuty they believe it a
fact, at thirty, they have some tiouDrs,
aud at forty they have no faith in any
thing oi the sort.
"I was not aware that you knew
him," said Smith to an Irish friend
the other day. "Know him?" replied
the latter, "1 kuew him when his fath
was a boy."
"Children not allowed in this room
unacconipauied by their parents," is a
sign displayed conspicuously on tho
drawing room of oue of tho sea side
hotels.
Gough's new lecture is entitled
"Will it pay?" Considering that he is
to receive ?200 a night for it for 200
nights, it is safe to calculato that it
will.
A correspondent describes Vinnio
Ream in her studio "with htr anus
bare to tho shoulder aud her ankles
likewise."
Somo author says that ono of tho
uses of adversity is to bring us out.
That's true, especially at tho knees
and elbows.
There are twenty-eight gravestones
iu the Laramie Cemetery, and on nine
teen of these the epitaph is simply
"Killed."
Forty-seven young women of Wacse
on, Mich., clmrivaried a youth of IS
w ho had wedded a widow of 40 in that
towu.
A Burlington young lady says the
armless woman of 15ariium's show
"writes a very good foot."
A good many tradespeople only
give fit'teeu ounces to the pound. It is a
weigh they have.
Two Iudianiaus settled which should
have a youug widow by playing eard.s
for her.
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