I - , . . GENERAL REEDER IN TI1E SADDLE. He Will Direct the Republican Campaign in Penn sylvania. TR51SED EKD POPULfiR FIELD MSRSEE A Veteran Soldier of the Civil Wm Will Organize the Forces That Will Elect a Brave Young American Hero of the Campaign in Luzon. SieMal Correspondence.) PhitaoWpliia. Sot. 5.--Cieneral Frank Reeder, an houor-d veteran of the I'nion army in the civil war, who has been elected chairman of the Republi can state committee, will ware a vig orous and aggressive fight for the elec tion of that gallant young American soldier of th campaign in Luzon. Lieutenanl folonel James K. Burnett, of the famous "Fighting" Tenth Penn sylvania volunteers, sr.d IMh colleacties ;n the state ticket, the noml 'ees for the judiciary. Hon. J. Hay Itro.-n of I-ancaster ru Hon. Josiah R. Adams of Philadelphia. With the brave P.arnett. Chairman Keeder will be on the firing line throughout the entire contest, and It can he taken for cranted that the Re publican colors will be waved triumph antly in a macnificent victory at the polls next November. This is going to be a remarkealile year in Pennsyl vania politics. The Republican organ ization already his the skirmishers out preparing to make r. determined as sault upon the opposition. THE DEMOCRACY'S ri.ANS. With victory assured for the whole ticket, the necessity for an unusually active canvass on the part of the Re publican party may not be apparent to pome. The Democracy of Pennsyl vania, ft is known to the worM. was riever in such a dbor'nt'.izcd and de moralized condition. It is ahsolutely without organization. The fragments of the machiue left by the Harrity-llensel-Pattison leadership, which In the past succeeded in winning an occa sional success at the polls, are now scattered and almost unless on elec tion day. What have been garnered :p by Colonel James M. C.ulTey, the western millionaire, have been gotten together as a medium through which to elect delegates to county and stats conventions to perpetuate Colonel Guf foy'8 leadership until after the coming national convention of the Democratic party. There will be the usual bluJT of the Democrats going to elect one or more of their candidates on their state tic ket, but a glance behind the sceflea will disclose the utter hopelessness of their even polling the average Demo cratic vote. The minority party Is severed in every county, either faction torn by local leaders contending for su premacy or absolutely discredited bv that large, influential and self respect ing element which refuses to be sprung into line for liryan .md the dangerous principles enunciated by the Chicago platform, which, without exception or qualification, were warmly and cordial ly reaffirmed by the Harrisburg con vention, whicii placed the present free silver Democratic state ticket in the field, with that rampant Bryanite and 16 to 1 silver champion. State Chair man Rilling, chosen to conduct the campaign in their interest. The ex hibition in Pittsburg last week In the Democratic county convention declar ing unequivocally and boisterously in favor of the rr-numlnution of Bryan, right in the home of Colonel Cuffey. promptly gave the lie to the proclama tion of the Guffeyites that national issues are not involved in the present canvass in the Keystone state. With their misleading and persistent state issue cry, the Democratic ieades are hopeful that their plans to lull the friends of President McKinley r.nd stal wart ttepublicans generally into a feel txg el security as to the outcome of 1e election in Pennsylvania this fall ill be successful. By that means they expect to create a condition of apathy among the opponents which will keep 4own the Republican vote. They will make a still hunt to get the Democrats to the polls. acJ while secretly, they Ao not count upon the election of any f their candidates on the state ticket, they want to be able to point to a re duced Republican majority as an evi dence of their claim that President McKinley is not popular, that his war policy is disapproved by the people, even In a usually stalwart state like Pennsylvania, and that the Democrats will have a fighting chance to regain the presidency in 1900. Incidentally they recognize that a reduced Republi can majority in Pennsylvania, after the action of the Democratic state conven tion and many county conventions In proclaiming him the Democracy's choice, would give Bryan a tremendous Loom for the nomination for the presi dency, ajd they believe would ma terially aid him In his subsequent can vass for election. KEEDER'S AGGRESSIVE CAMPAIGN It is against these forces and these cherished hopes of the Bryanite wing of the Democracy that General Frank Reeder will wage an unceasing and unrelenting campaign as the Republi can field marxhal. His selection for this Important and responsible post was not made without careful consid eration. The prompt and unanimous action of the candidates on the state ticket, whose Interests are most con cerned, and the presiding officer of the Republican state convention. United States Senator Boies Penrose. In elect ing General Reeder to the chairman ship of the Republican state conven tion, was a deserved tribute to an ex perienced and successful leader. Gen eral Reeder has had an Interesting ca reer. He was but a youth, having just left Princeton, when he entered the Union army cn the first call for volunteers at the outbreak of t he re bellion. His intelligence and travery quickly brought him to the front and well merited promotion followed. His most conspicuous work was in the cav alry branch of the service. Before he was 23 years old he was in command of a regiment. He was wounded at Nashville. Tenn.. but remained in the army, and his regiment was the last cavalry command of the volunteers to be mustered out. At the close of the war he took up the practice of his pro fession, and for some time was asso ciated with the late President Chester A. Arthur's law firm in New York. Returning to Pennsylvania, he founded a law partnership with his brother, the late Justice Howard Reeder. of the superior court of Pennsylvania. For a number of years he was brig adier general in the Pennsylvania Na tioual Guard, and was honored by his comrades of the war of the rebellion by election to the Pennsylvania depart ment commandershlp of the Grand Army of the Republic. General Reeder succeeded Lieutenant Governor Watres in the chairmanship of the Republi can state committee and filled the of fice with exceptional ability. He Is gentleman of refined tastes, alwayt courteous and affable, and his leader ship has commanded the respect even of his oponents. General Reeder. who is here this week with his comrades of Lafayette Post. G. A. R., of Easton. Pa., marched in today's parade, and will tomorrow formally assume the duties of the state chairmanship. He has already deter mined upon his chief staff officers, anfl fcas shown usual good Jud intent in re taining t le men who tave had charge of the in.portant bureaus at tti party headquarters. T. Larry Eyre, of Chester county, will be continued as chief assistant to the chairman, and William R. Andrews and Charles E. Voorbeea will be retain ed in the positions as secretaries, which they filled with eminent satisfaction during the last campaign- Chief Eyre has a familiarity with the active men in the Republican state organization, which is invaluable in campaign work, and Mr. Andrews, who is recognized as one of the most untiring and methodi cal workers that have ever been con nected with the Republican state or ganization, will, as heretofore, handle a mass of correspondence with the men wao run the precincts and the Individ ual voters who are kept In touch with the state chairman throughout the can vass. With characteristic attention to detail and the precision of movement of a train dispatcher, Mr. Voorhees will prepare aud f.illow up the itinerary of the candidates and their accompanying upelll'inders who will tour the state in the coming canvass. He will see that there are no conflicting dates for meet ings and that the railroad echedules are strictly lived ip to by the men who will travel under his direction. An en viable record was made in this respect In the last campaign, and Mr. Voor hees wi'l be on hand to see that there are to hitches this time. A SIPERB ORGANIZATION. Contracted with the Democracy's lattletrap outfit the Republicans of Pennsylvania have a superb organiza tion. In no state In the Union is there an organization maintained by either of the great political parties which can in any way compare with that of the Republican party of the Keystone state. Here the Republican state chair man aims to keep in direct connection with the individual voter. A complete canvass is made of every precinct, the politics and opinions on the political issues of every voter are obtained, and a host of faithful, industrious, loyal Republican committeemen kept con stantly at work throughout a cam paign in the interests of the party nominees. Every man of this vast army of workers is urged and encour aged to correspond with the Republi can state chairman at all times during a canvass, and General Reeder has an nounced that he wlil solicit and appre ciate suggestions from men identified with the organization, looking to the potting out of the full Republican TOte at the coming elecion. I.ont Ilia Birthmark. An amusing incident took place at the Jraud Central station a few weeks ago. A portly man w ilh cl'hes of for eign cut. outlandish baggage and a de cided German brogue bought a ticket for a western. iolut aud then bought a sleeping InTtU and waited for bis train to l? announced. As soou as It was called be gut into line, occupied much space with all bis bass and bundles aud made people lu fruut and behind him uncomfortable. He bad uo sootier reached the platform than lie Uropicd his lag:i!;e aud freight and pushed his way back Into the waiting rnun, ran up to the iollce officer and baid breathlessly: "Say, 1 lost my birthmark." "Your birthmark? Where was itr "Here In my pocket in." 'Iu your pocket? That's a nice place to have one." said the officer, wishing to humor a crazy man. '"How did it look''' "Red-fool like all birthmark. 1 can withuut It not In the sleep wagon go," aud he rushed to the ticket win dow, where they knew that the Ger man meaut ttcrth check when be said birthmark, and the matter was settled to his satisfaction. The crowds had goue through the door, and it was near ly train time when he came bounding back and up to the ticket window, where, with profuse apologies, be told the clerk that he had found his "birth' mark." New York Tribune. Too Mark Hcallam. Muie. ile Navarro has recorded In "A Few Memories" the greatest lesson she ever received agaiust too much real ism, lu a certaiu drama the heroine, uuder great excitement, suddenly stops to gain composure as she hears the approaching carriages of the guests. "Hark!" she savs. "I hear the wheels of their carriages.'' We obtained the effects of approach ing wheels, but. try as we would, the stamping of the horses' feet upon the gravel before C'larlsse's door we could uot manage. At last a brilliant Idea struck uie. which the stage manager promptly indorsed. It was that we should have In a donkey from Covent Garden to trot up and down behind the scenes on the gravel especially laid for hlra. We were dwidedly nervous on the first apiK-arnnce of our four footed friend, whose role was to counterfeit the high stepping horses of the brilliant French court. When bis cue was given, there was only an ominous silence. 1 reeated the word in a louder voice, when such a braying aud scuffling were beard as sent the audience iuto roars of laugh tor. At. bough it was one of the most serious situations of the play, i could not help Joining In their mirth until the tears rolled down my cheeks. Am lavltiaa Gna. The Hon. William Wortham. long state treasurer of Texas, was In a New Yoik Jewelry store one day when he noticed a showcase filled with splen did jeweled revolvers with silver and poid grips and chased barrels, having precious stones set Into the butts. "iA'iiime see one of those guns." lie sad to the clerk. "Which one, sir?" "The gold one with the big ruby la the handle." The clerk took It from the case. It was marked $:;.t. and It looked worth even more. The Texan took It tender ly In Imth hands and held it admiring ly up to the light. Then drawing him self up to his full height, which was C'j feet, be rested the revolver barrel upou his left elbow, crooked for the purpose, and looked over the sights down the long store. Those persons who saw him involuntarily dodged. "Say." said Mr. Wortham. with quiet but Intense euthuslasm, as be re turned the weapon, "if I was to wear that gun down in my state (he people wouid le falling down on their knees begglug to be killed with It" A Sare Care Far Howls. "1 say. mamma." said Charlie, who was watching his mamma bathe the new girl baby, "what would hapiwn if you would put her in the bathtub and go away off and leave her to wash her ownsclf. like me :"' "I'm afraid." said mamma, "that lit tle sister would get water In her mouth and drown." "Would it fill her all ip full with water so she couldn't howl no more 7" inquired Charlie. "Yes, I'm afraid It would." said mam ma, pleased with tue interest Charlie was taLing In his sister's wclfttre. "1 say. uiuiu." exclaimed Charlie en thusiastically, "let's put her iu right a way ." Pro videuce Telegra iu. Ile Kaew Her-. Von P.lumer How is it you are tak ing luncheon aloue? I thought I saw you going down town with your wife this morning. WItherby Von did. Hut she saw something la a window that she want ed to look at. aud I told ber I would wait outside. I'm going back late this afternoon to catch her as she comes out. Detroit Free Press. A Seat fcriretlaa. "That's a nice umbrella you have there." "Ain't it? Reflects credit on my taste, doesu't It?" "It certainly does, where did you get itr "Picked It out of a bunch of seven that were standing In the boarding house hall this morning." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Plied lh Fir Akew. "The wortt k:.ri of a fool la the world is a well meaning fool," sr. Id a detective sagely. "I was walking along one night In a neighborhood not neces sary to siiecify, when np rushed a man In his shirt sleeves and grabbed me by the arm. TSay, officer!" be ex claimed, calling me by name, '1 Just saw a fellow do something that he ought to get ten year for at least. He was a big loafer lu a checked suit and 1 would know him again in China' " 'But what did be doT I Interrupted. "Why, I was sitting on my porch, reDlied the man in shirt sleeves, 'and saw him go up deliberately to that letter box on the corner and drop in a lighted c'ar Etumn. Just think cf the valuable mall the scoundrel might have destroyed!" 'Are you sure the cigar was lit?" I asked. "Well, I'm pretty sure." he said, but ym needu't to worry. He hasn't burned tu anything." " 'How the dickens do you know he hasn't?" said I. surprised. " "Why. I got a pitcher of water and poured it right In." said he. I walked off. I never did find out what those letters looked like when the carrier got around." New Orleans Tirncs- Deiuocrat Hla l aeoaiaa-loa Laagh. "'iJiugb and the world laughs with yon." How true that Is." said Mr. Ilig- gleson. "To have written Just that line was worth living for. Oh. I don't know about that" Mrs. Iligglesou replied. "I admit that there is a good deal cf philosophy In the poem from which those words are tak en, but It Isn t always true." "My dear." Mr. Higgleaon exclaimed. "you are mistaken. It is always true. I-nugh aud the world laughs with you." It's as true as anything that has ever lieen written. The whole philosophy of human existence Is bound up In those few words." "The whole philosophy of human ex istence may lie Injund up In them." the lady respornli-d, "but I Insist that It doesn't always happen that way. I've noticed that you always laugh when you try to tell a fuuny story, but it's very seldom that the world laughs with you." Mr. Illggleson drew himself up with all the dignity he could command and. striding angrily from the room, ex claimed: "As Milton says In bis 'Essay on Man." 'How sharper than ft serpent's tooth it Is to haxe a sneering wife.' New York Telegram. Wfcra Llaeola Dl4. And so the hours lassed without per ceptible change lu the president's con dition and with only slight shifting of the scene around him. The testimony of those who had witnessed the mur der Wgan to le taken In an adjoining room. Occasionally the figures at the Iwdslde changed. Mrs. Lincoln came in at Intervals, sobbing out her grief, an then was led away. This .man went, another took his place. It was not until daylight that there cante a perceptible change. Then the breath ing grew qulcler, the face became more calm. The doctors at Lincoln's side knew that dissolution was near. Their bul letin of 0 o'clock read. "Pulse falling:" Miat of half past a "Still failing;" that of 7, "Symptoms of Immediate dissolu tion." aud then nt '-2 minutes nt 7 in the presence of his son. Secretaries Stanton. Welles aud Usher. Attorney General Sjieed. Senator Sumner, Prl vate Secretary Hay. Dr. Gurley. h'f pastor, and several physicians and friends. Abraham Lincoln died. There was a prayer, and then the solemn voice of Stanton broke the still ness. "Now he belongs to the ages." McClure's Magazine. Pretty I.ltely Fuwliait. I was out walkiug iu Kingston, Ja maica, one afternoon, and while on ft narrow side street 1 came ujion two black women, each apparently In ft towering rage. Each woman's tongue was goiug at ft phenomenal rate, but not a word of their screeching Jargon was iutelligible to me. Finally one of the women scooped np a duiible lwiiulfiil of the ever pres ent Kingston dust aud filing it over the other woman with a wild shriek of laughter. The dust covered woman retaliated by taking a tin pan she had lu her hand and scoopiug up a coupie of quarts of t'.ie dirty water iu the gut ter by the roadside drenched her as sailant with it. while all that part of Kingston rcsoiiudcd with the mad laughter. The two women then closed In on each other and proceeded to engage In a prolouged wrestle, which resulted In liotb of them falling to the ground, where they rolled over and over in a cloud of dust aud finally stood tqton their feet facing each oth er in a state of dirt aud disorder be yond description. Fearing that they would make a sec ond ouslaught on each other and wishing to play the part of peace maker. I stepjK'd forward and asked "What Is the trouble?" Courtesying low, one of the women said in a soft drawliug voice: "No trouble at all, niastah; we's jess fooliu." Harper's Pazar. The Onlr Place to Pat Taeaa. "I say," said a friend the other day. "you are an old hand at it I have only Just got married and don't understand much altout the business. I should like to know whether a married man has any rights left when he takes unto himself a wife?" "Rights? Yes, lots. He has a right to pay all the bills" "Stop! I mean this. Let me give you au lustauce. Every box. every chest of drawers and portmanteau and In fact every available receptacle of every description Is stuffed full of my wife's property, and when I want to put away a few cuffs and collars" "Hold bard. I know what you mean. Listen, young man. If your bedroom were :KX) yards long. lined from the door to the ceiling with shelves, and you wanted a place to stow away a couple of shirts, yon couldn't find a nook that wasn't full of hairpins, scent tot ties, odd gloves, pieces of ribbon, odd feathers and artificial flowers, lit tle bits of tape and bnttons galore, with pins and needles thrown in. so Just accept the Inevitable. Wrap your personal proerty In an old newspaper parcel and hide it uuder the bed." He grlnued Ironically, but passed on a. sadder and wiser man. London Tid Bita. Fraltlesa. "Maria, at last It has come!" The hitherto careworn face of the middle aged husband had taken on a new brilliancy, and his whole attitude was expressive of some sudden joy. "Yes." said he triumphantly, "after ft lifetime passed In ceaseless endeavor for your sake 1 am at last rewarded. My Invention has been sold and a fortune awaits roe. Think. Maria, of what this means to you! You will nev er have to make me another shirt or cravat as long as you live!" Ills wife looked at him with re proachful glance. "James," she said tenderly. "1 hope I shall never be too proud for that No matter. James, how rich you shall be It will always be my greatest pleasure aud privilege to make your shirts and ties." Her husband did not reply, but a few moments later, alone in his own room, he bowed Lis head over his clasped hands and muttered In bitter anguish: "Alas, the labor cf ft lifetime spent for naught." Town Topics. Tru ta the fait McSwatter He has rrrtl!nr mt hla fingers' ends, that professor. ilcfewltters Even real estate. Svr. cuse Herald. She Cpliela Uer Dlaaltr- Some of the colored folks are bound to maintain their dignity. One of these ladies was employed by ft wenlthy LoulsvIUInn who swore by the whole sale. Economy was no object to him when it came to cuss words, and he scattered tbev pearls of speech over II subjects. The cook was past grand mistress of her art She knew what she knew and could turn out dreams from the skillet and oven, but he had ideas of her own dignity. "One raawnin," said she, "I done cook a elegant brekfuss. Dere wuz chick in an 'taters an beat blsklt an cof fey an mutTcs, an dat man be come down stairs, an he do talk scand'lous. I llsseu an I lissen. lie cuss dis an he cus dat. an ue inumbT to bisself, an I Jes" coublu' stnn' hit I marches out. an I says. Suh. cf you don't Ilk' dis hyar cookln, say so. cu I goes, but I ain't gwlne hear you cuss me an my wuk." "Hyar. gal." says he. 1 likes dis cookln. Wot you mean lossln me when I cusMcn to my own wife? "'Data all ri't I eays ml'ty brash, but you don't cuss me or I goes." "An sence den." declared the colored upholder of her rights and dignity, "ole maree Jes' stuck on my cookln, an Use de only pusson on de lot he neber cuss es." The old man Is right When you get a good cook, grapple her to you with hooks of steel, even If you have to leave off swearing. Louisville Times. Smelllaa; the ntaaa. Bartenders w ho prid themselves on their mixed drinks have a habit of smelling of the empty glass as soon as the customer has drained It In this way they can tell to ft dot whether they "hit It right" or not I have not seen She liarteuder who can make two drinks alike, and none Is ever certain that he has guessed rightly the pro portions of liquor and Its disguises until after the olfactory test "Fred, this Isn't quite up to the mark." says TossK)t, who drinks every drop. "That so?" smelliug of the glass. "You're right Not enough curacoa. Let me make you another." The worst telltale k the leer glass. Not one-tenth of the beer sold over the bar or In cases Is fit for a dog to drink. If you are fond of a glasr and it docs not lie easily on the stomach. If there Is an unpleasant after effect, a disa greeable taste iu the mouth or a sud den disinclination to drink further, smell of the emptied glass, and the chances are that you will conclude you have been putting part of a cow lot Inside of you. You will resolve never to touch that beer again, where in you will lie wise. The same test may be applied to whickiea. wines and liqueurs, glus, rums, brandies and cordials. Many a man would save his breath aud his stomach by employing his function of smell after the first drink. It Is the surest prohibition I know. New York Tress. ( la Froat of Eaclaea. "One of the oddest traits In animal nature," said an old time Illinois Cen tral engineer, "is the desire of every living thing to cross lu front of the locomotive. At first It filled me with wonder, and I used to lie awake nights trying to explain It Now it's grown to lie an old story with me. "What goes in front of the engine? Why, everything. Let me see! I've seen snakes and I'm ft soler man, mind you stick up their heads to see what was making all the rumble aloug the right of way aud then deliberately start to crawl across the rails. I've seen many a quail spring up along the right of way, fly along just ahead of the engine and then shoot across in front Several times when I've been runulng a mile ft minute the engine has struck these birds aud killed them, la the old days I used to jump a deer now and then, aud the chances were he'd cross the track every time. Cat tle Invariably do It until they have learned better; so do pigs and all do mestic animals. Even chickens will run fluttering across. "It seems to nie I've killed enough animals to stock a farm and a men agerie." Chicago Inter Ocean. roleridse'a rieadlaeaa. There Is lu Mr. Ellis YarnoII's In teresting volume of remlnlsceuces. "Wordsworth aud the Coleridges." a very amusing story of Samuel Tayjor Coleridge, whose thoughts were some times too profound even for poets to follow. Wordsworth and Samuel Rogers had spent the evening with Coleridge, aud as the two poets walked away to gether Rogers remarked cautiously: "I did uot altogether understand the latter part of what Coleridge said." "1 didn't understand any of it." Wordsworth hastily replied. "No more did I !" exclaimed Rogers, with a sigh of relief. What Taper Colli. Ladies who to shopping have little Idea of the cost of their trip, even lu such a minor deta.l as the cost of a Ir fur the packages they have sent home. A Baltimorean hat recently compared the weight of Kiper with the food supplied to the purchaser, lu one day's purchases it Is said that the paper wrapping amounted to about lo per cent of the total. In a list of sup plies costing about f 1.40 he found thai the paper which was weighed with tin provisions cost M7i cents. The Klad lie Boaitht. Little Edwin Mamma, what is liq uld air? Mamma -I don't know. Ask your papa, lie's always going out between the nets "to get a little air." Chicago Times -Herald. IIojn Is a flatterer, but the most up tight cf all parasites, for she frequents the ioor man's hut as well as the pal ace of his superiors. Shenstone. All tired out Once a day's work didn't use him p Now he comes home with an aching back, aching head, achiDg limbs, feel ing tired, miserable, discouraged. It's the kidneys. The backache is kidney ache, tired kidneys They are not filtering the blood as they should are leaving the uric acid and other poisons in the system The kidneys must be strengthened W ell kidney m?ke well man. Doan's Kidney Pills Make well kidney they are not a new medicine not an experiment they've been tested and thousands en dorse their merit Here's a case of it: Mr. T. W. Otto.ol 914 Seventeenth itreet. furniture dealer, Altoona, Pa., says: "la t I rive testimonial to Don Kidnrr Fills, after having cuccewfull am. J that trmedy bea all other had (ailed to cure me. I have remained otiitc free from the kidney trouble of which "they eared me three year ago, and I can as strongly recom mend them now a I did then, for I have not lelt Hie teed of a kidney lemedv aince. With me they proved a permanent u they were eflective." Doan's Kidney Pills for sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents. Mailed by Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. V., sole agents for the United States. Remember the name, Doan's, an tike so substitute. Meyer Jonasson & Co., MANUFACTURING RETAILERS Are exhibiting correct LADIES MISSES Dily arrival of the latest creations in SILK WAISTS. FURS, FLANNEL WAISTS, ' SEPARATE SKIRTS, TAILOR SUITS, JACKETS, PETTICOATS, TOURIST AND GOLF SKIRTS AT MANUFACTURERS' PRICES. The connection of their Pittsburgh retail branch- with their New York factory, gives assurance of extraordinary inducements as to quality, price and design. PITTSBURG, Sixth and Liberty Streets. Dot as I r Malvea. My Wife went west the other day to ylslt ber sister who lives In California.'' said ISrowu with a mnllc. 'l was un able to go with her on account of lieing detained here on a matter of business that needed my attention; so I went with her as far as C'hlcaso. saw ber safely on an overland train anil then came back. Hut before I left her I looked tiji the ixtru-r and gave him half of a $5 bill that I had torn In two. say ing that my wife hail the other half and that be would get that at the end of the Journey If lie would see that she needed for nothing on the trip." The porter's eyes stuck out. and he faithfully promised that my wife would receive the best of care; so I came awny feeling that she would not lack. for anything. "When I returned home I discovered to my horror that I had neglected to give my wife the other half of the bill. Today I received a letter from her re nilntliii!: me of that fact and saying that she had torn a dollar bill in two aud given It to the porter. "Somewhere along the line there must le a wild eyed darky with the halves of two worthless bilU In his possession ami a firm -onvlciIon that he has lievn worked by some sort of a new til in ilain game. "I n 11 very anxious to have my wife return so I can find out from her what sort of reasoulug she used when she pave that porter a half instead of the whole of that $1 bilL." Detroit Free Prcsn. (faaased Her Mlad Too. A young couple in a I-mcnshlre vil lage had lieen courting for several years. The young man one day said tc the woman: "Sail. I canna marry t'nee." "How's that?" aked she. "I've changed my mind." said he. "Well. I ll tell you what we'll do," said she. "If folk know that It's thee as lia riven me up. I shnnna be able to get another cbap. but If they think that I've given you up then I can get another chap. So we'll have banns published, and when the wedding day comes the parson will say to thee, 'Wilt thou h.ive this woman to be thy wedded wifeT and tlia must say. I will And when he says to me. "Wilt thou have this man to !e thy wedded husliandT I shall say. '1 winna.' " The day came, and when the miuister said. "Wilt thou have this woman to lie thy wedded wife'r" the man answered: "I will." Then the parson said to the woman: "Wilt thou have this man to lie thy wedded husband?" And she said: "I will." "Why." said the young man furious ly, "you said you would say. '1 win na" "I know that," ald the young wom an, "but I've changed my mind since." London Answers. He Dlda't Bite. "1 never can tell a story and have It come out all right." said a little wo man plaintively the other day. "I thought I had such a good one uot long ago. I was walkiug along aud heard oue street boy say to another. 'Oh, you go buy ID cents' worth of potash What for'f says No. 2. 'For 10 cents.' yelled the other, and ran off giggling. "I thought It was pretty good, aud I'd try It on Charlie at supper. Hut when I told him to go buy 10 cents' worth of iotash he never said a word, nnd I knew auother Joke had fallen fiat and kept still. Hut the worst was later. He put on his hat and vanished after supiKT. couiiug liack in a minute with a little parcel that he handed to me. "'What's thatT asked I. "'Why. the potash you said you wanted answered he. and I nearly had hysterics on the spot. Did yon ever hear anything so perfectly awful? 1 won't ever try to get off anything funny again." And the little woman sighed as she walked away. Cleveland Flalu Dcal- Tella Ita Owi Story. In a pretty Wisconsin town not far from Milwaukee there is a "spite fence" which tells its own story to all the world. It is a high and tight lioard affair and cuts off a view across a numlier of beautiful lawns. The man who lives on one side of It evidently feared that the fence would bringdown on his head the condemnation of his uelghlKirs. Not wishing to be unjustly blamed, he has therefore painted on his side of the fence In letters that can be read a block away these words: "He built this Tenee. I didn't do It" The man on the other side also had no Idea of letting a false Impression get out. Accordingly he has painted 011 the other side of the high barrier: "I had to do it." Skaraaraa of Laaatlea. Having an appointment to preach at an insane asylum for the first time, the editor of The Christian Ueglster asked the medical director for some points. Ile said the most important thing was to avoid any attempt on the part of the preacher to accommodate himself to bis audience as if they were differ ent from other people. He said: "If you attempt to adapt yourself to tueir couditiou. they will instautly dis cover It and they will hate you." She Kaew It. Polite Passenger Madam, this Is the smoking car. Old Woman (producing her piper Yes. I tho't it te. Crvat convenience, ain't they? Ohio State Journal. No hero expects people to pat him on the back for bis acts. Heroism Is spon taneous, and he who slops 10 count the reward loses Itotti the o;itortunity and the glory. -St. Ix.uis Star. When a man is calm In a shipwreck. It dnnn not uecvssarily follow that he Is bravf? He may In- seasick. Detroit JonrsaL and exclusive styles of OUTER GARMENTS "The Cockatoo' Xatcracker Bill. There Is a woudirrful cockatoo In oc of the Islands of the Indian ocean, near New tiuluca. It l as hirge as a full grown pheasant, aud it is of a Jet black color. The bird Is remarkabhor Its Immensely strong bill and tb clever manner lu which it is used. The bill Is as hard as steel, and the upper part has a deep notch. Now. the favorite food of this cocka too Is the canary nut; but there U won derful Ingenuity nnulred to get at It. for the nut Is something like a Brazil uut. but it Is ten times as hard. In fact, it requires the Llow of a heavy hummer to crack it. It is quite smooth and somewhat triangular lu sbai. Nature apiwnrs to have given the possessor of the wonderful bill some Intelligence to direct Its iowers, for the cockatoo takes one of the nuts edgewise In its bill aud by a earring motion of Its sharp lower beak makes a small notch on It This done, the third takes hold of the nut with Its claws, and. biting off a piece of leaf, retains it In the deep notch of the pcr part of the bill. Then the nut Is seiwil between the upper and lower parts of the bill and Is prevented slip ping by the ieciiliar texture of the leaf. A sharp nip or two breaks off a tiny piece of the sLell of the nut. The bird then seizes the nut In Its claws and pokes the long sharp point of Its bill into the hole and picks out the kernel bit by bit. Savannah News. Fearful Tortarea. For many years I was a teacher In Afghanistan, and during my stay In that country I was often an unwilling witness of some horrible exhibitions of torture. Here Is one they use In the case of women to extract testimony. It consists lu prying off the finger I nulls by means of a small chisel or bradawl, which Is shoved In slowly but firmly from the finger tip down ward under the quick of the nail, which U then lifted up and out. This Is another that I once saw used In the case of a small child who would not own up to some petty theft: Sticks were thrust between Its fingers and the lingers then squeezed together, SO that the sticks crushed Into the bones. So much for women and children. Here Is a method of eliciting Informa tion from an unwilling man: The cul prit is stripped to the waist, and then Itoiliug oil Is flicked on to his back. This M-I'lom fails to find the man's tougue. The alove are the chief forms of "fahana." or torture, for the purpose of elicit Wig Information, but It must be stated that such Inflictions as nipping of noses, tearing out tongues or splittiug eyeballs do not come under the heading of "fahana." they being punishments rsrtrr ti.aa tortures. London Standard. StaKsered Tkca. There's no art to tell how many lan guages a tongue can six-ak by looking Its owner in the face. An American wouiiiu was met recently in a narrow hallway of the American embassy by four young attaches of foreign lega tions. They stepped aside to let her pass and, thinking she did not under stand French, made a few audible ob servations. "I.ook at her yellow dress. It's very pretty." said No. 1. "Vs. but s.!ie has on white gloves," answered No. 2. "She has good teeth," said No. 3. "And an enormous mouth," added No. 4 "And she understands French per fectly." said the owner of the enor mous mouth, turning suddenly upon them, "and would like to say that her ears are even bigger than her mouth." This In French and with such an air of giving iiersonal Information to nobody in particular that it was quite as if she hud Ixt-n kindly helping strangers to Information out of a guide book. 1 do uot think I have ever seen four liuiper looking young men. They had just enough presence of mind to flee the premises. St. Louts Globe-Democrat A Xice Little Elopemeat. "There's a rather fuuny circum stance conni-cted with the elopement here last week," remarked the lo quacious landlord of the tavern In a remote Sussex village, says an Knglish paper, addressing a cyclist who had stopped for refreshment "A young man who hadn't known her so very long ran away with the squire's daughter, and a day or two later the old gentleman sent this mes sage by letter to his new son-in-law: "'All Is forgiven. Come home "To this the young fellow tele graphed the reply: "'All won't lie forgiven until I have klcl cd you well for letting me elope wish your daughter. You'd better not be at home when 1 come, that's allf " V. Ifrlr Coaalderatloa. "I've decided not to get that new dress we talked of," anuouueed the lit tle wife, whose husliand has a big bank account and makes large deposits every week. "But I want it. dearie. Just as much is you do. Co ahead and order It" "No. I appreciate your kindness, but I'm not the oue to be extravagant when economy Is demanded. I saw your liaukliook this morning, and we are drawing out mouey a dozen times where yon deposit once. Fll wait till next year." Detroit Free Press. Warard. "Did I understand you . say some thin about teachin the young idea how to shoot?" asked .1 Clay county (Ky.i citizen. "Yes." answermj the Jian who Is In terested in the work of education. "Well, so fur as this part of the coun try Is concerned you're workln on the wrong line. What you waut to do Is to watch the boys at recess and lam the fust one that brings a gun to schx-I wri.U hlra." Wash ugton Star. air Jar of Ita Klad. Horace Walpole tells a lively story of an old porcelain vender, who ha 1 an exceedingly rare and valuable Jar on which he set an almost fabulous i-tlce. One hot summer a slight voUanlc shc. such as the British Isles occa sionally exjiorienL-e. Jogged his toitse about bis ears aud split his porwh"10 vase. To an ordinary mind the accident would have len calamitous, but the china seller rose superior to fortune. He doubled the price of the article lm Uiediately and advertised It as "the only Jar In the world which had been cracked by an eerthquake." Nothing very slow about that Whether he got his money Is not added, but he certalu 1t deserved It Had l.efl For Tarts lakaowa. In a murder trial 'n Dallas the coun sel for the defense was exaniiuiajf a Tenlreman regarding his qualifications to serve. The candidate admitted that he had once been a member of a Jury which fried a negro for murder. It Is not permissible in such cases to ask the result of the trial, so the counsel said: "Where Is that negro now?" "I don't know." was the reply. "The sheriff hanged hlin nt the apposed time." Law Notes. Modrit Appeal. The attention of Fngllsh speaking visitors to the Milan cathedral Is read ily attracted by the following notice which appears over an alms box: "Apjiclf to Charitable. The Broth ers, so called, of Mercy ask slender arms fur the Hospital. They harbor all kinds of diseases aud have no re spect to religion." If the Prussian conscription were ap plied In India. England would nave 2.500.0110 regular soldiers actually In barracks, with Soo.oiX recruits coming up every yt-ar. The ch-.iiiest animal to raise Is the sheep, and with the growing apatite for teuder lamb and mutton In this country it Is one of the most profitable. Teotared So Oslnlob. 'What's the matter with yon ?" ask ed the friend. "I h;iven't the least idea." answerwi the very cynical invalid. "The sr.r geons are going to operate for appendi citis." Wa.-biugton Star. o More Credit. Mrs. Specdall Vou lock worried. I it because yon are to deeply in drl.t ? Mr. Sptudall (gloomily) No. lt'al cause I can't fctt any deeper. Nt York Weekly. Had blood and indigestion are dead ly enemies to ood health. Burdock Blood Hitters destn y them. Adam and Low. Of two rival candidates for one pul pit the following story is told: At a church in Scotland, where there was a popular "call for a minister," as it is termed, two candidates ottered to preach, whoe names were Adam and Low. The latter preached iu the morn ing, and tuck fur his text "Adam, where art thou ?" 1 le made a very ex cellent discourse, and the congregation was much edified. In the afternoon Mr. Adam preached upon these words: "Low, here am I." The impromptu and the sermon gained him the ap pointment. Corn hill. TDENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD. IN EFFECT JUNE 27, 1393. OOItDISaiD SCR CSC LS. Trains arrive and depart from the station at Jutuuuiwn aa follows: Wtern Exprata . South WrUru KxpreiM JobnutowD AocuminoUatiuu. .!otintown Accommodation.. Pacific Kx prv Way Paasengt-. Pttuburg Kxprww... S3 a. m :l " :. 10 th-J) " Z: p. m. 4 . " itl o:l " (r.35 " Mail.. Kaat Line Johnstown Accommodation.. KASTWAKD, Atlantic Expreaa Kea-tiore KiprrM Alloorm Accommodation ly Kxpre.... Mh!u l.iiir Kxprt-m ... Altoona AirommodiitionHM. MmII Exprvit w w Johnstown Accommodation... Philadelphia El pro 4:4 a. n. 5:40 " fr.24 " U " 10: IS " litr." p. n 4:14 " . 6: O 7:11 10:30 " r all uu SOMERSET MARKET KJifOKT COKKKCTED WEKKLT Br Cook & Beerits, Wednesday, Stjf. 1 ?, jj).. (pet tn Apple dried, a (vapormed .. Apple fcutler.per jaL I roll, per fc . Butter. frraih keit,; pT ft.. (crtamcry, per !.. ..-2 411c . 4o .40W iV 1 1 V- ax- ootwa per country ham, per t 10 to 1 xC Bacon. iKarcurvit bain, per lb Ue I . H lor: vhoulder, per lu to ! Bean. fmt ""? Pr u r . per VJ. a,. .. 1 irreen. ix?r l rolled, per B 1. till. .. Cement rnherlnd, per bbl.. li.Ou to J.:o 1 Portland, per bbl. 1-j.ju to 4 Or rornmeaf, per to ty Eggs, pel dox JTJT. ...1 Flan, lake herrlne. f H lib: Pr T ft ti; 70 . , IS per .) tt a.", Honey, white clover.per Lard, per ft f to 10c I.I me, per bM . t i Molaaaea, N.O., per rul . Omoun, per ua .40 "to t-U Potatoea. per bua u reacnea, evaporated, per ft to Hie Prunea.pr !-. to loc i.,eruui 1115 PUtabur-, pel bbl JM 17. (S b" -w-4 J. . one 4 baa sack. e r round alum, lau ft aavks w. ( maple, per ft stolue imported yellow, per ft Jx white. A. per ft -v.e granulated, per ft &2-4 c Cub.orpalverled, per ft Je Sugar. Syrup. maple p7r'i'aCi)''i0'L .-iiouew&rr, KHilOU l'r""vpI-r! s"S ' '"-V.;r.r-ir.-- " - nuj,c .-. . f 1 Ml clover, per bun " crimson, per bus 1 4:00 " a falfli. per boa ju Seeds. l aiayae. per DUa 7 VI MUlet, German, per buJT..SZ 'ZZZZZ ltS oaney. wnite oeardleaa, per bua 1 :t, buckwheat, per bua fri-, corn (helled, per bua IS to 4 so oat, per bua ii to:iHc rye, per ba -tv wheat, per bun , f, bran, per luu fta corn and oata chop, per I00fta. V flour, roller proceaa,per bbl. i" Prtnit patent and fancy filer! vnul r., . - Grain -Feed Flour. I floor, lower KimdMf"l4o'iaiL35l.40 Middle, 7XlF.zzzzzzzrrs CONDENSEDJIME TABLES. Baltimore and Ohio Railroad Somerset and Cambria Branch. MOBTHWAaO. Johnstown Mall Exprem. Rnckwond 11:10 a. rsville llrti, Johnstown 110 p. la. Jobnitowa Accommodation. Rockwond 5:1S p. m., nomera ;& StovextowD(i.-oT. lloov eravillefclg, JohniowD 7i. lOl'THVAID. Mall Johnfttown 8:30 a.m.,Hoovrrev1lle 9:19 ra"owa :, aooiena ur.z Kockwood l&S). Exprj Job onto wn 2:20 p. m.. Hoove rrilla wood V Ti IT VfiPD ai .r , i'ur. iv t knur, D. B. MARTIN. (fc-nual M.n-.r Paaaeujer Traffic Manager. 1 Snyders Pharmacy It requires a good selected stock and a neatlv arran-," ' tz room to do a brisk business. WE HAVE BOTH OF THEM I B ' i f n - Hnirrn I make it a point ti ' S rillr I I M. 1 .rr . "l'r fres-'a and good condition. In the way of Prescription S we are sure to have it. Yoa arealwaj3 sure of getting,; '; Optical Goods Call and Lave your eve3 .- Tn.c Fitted. All of the best and most arrrov t kept in stock. Satisfaction guaranteed. " ; t ii r Oi t. This Ucdel Ding Store is Rapidlj Bsccsnngi' FRESH . AHD . PURE . DEI;: Medicines. Dye Stuffs, Sponges, 4c THE DOCTOB GIVES FEIMOSAI. ATTENTION TO TH K IUI KOI l:(, Of : LoMtt PrRSGrrDtionsiFamily Hbce 5 1 And a l ull Line of Uptical uooas always on nana rrci large assortment all can be suited. i Tin? xrnrccT TPSiTiQ nir nmid Always on hand. It ia always a pleasure to display osi jj to intending purchasers, whether they buy jj MAIN STREET ... - SOMERSET.:, ry T --.- e-v 7 1 ' av r a VarTiiriiirii i i m ji 1 1 i 1 i va GUlVlilttdlU J-iU1YLDiI lti: i Lumber and Building Materials. I Hard and Soft Wood Oak, Poplar. MdJuf, Walnut. Yellow Pine, Flooring, Cherry, Shingles, Ioora Lath, White Pine Blind, A general Uneor all rrmdes of Lumber and Building aterlal and Roor.u? " -J lock. Also, ran furnish anything la the line of our business toonler w :ti rw s ble promptneaa, snoh.aa Erackela, odd-aUed.work J-u-. j Elias Cunningham, Office and Tanl Opposite S. i C E. K. Station, NEARLY Fif tv-eigh tYears 0 acknowledged the country over at the lead inn National Family Newpp Recognizing iu value to thiwe who desire all the news of the State aJ publishers of Til K Son kkikt Hkrald, (yourown favorite home paper,' t"5' into an alliance with "The New-York Tribune" which enables tbeiu to fas - paper at the trifling cost of (H) per year. Every farmer and every villager owes to himself, to bis family, '"' '" in unity in which he lives a cordial support of his local newspaper, a it stactly and untiringly for bin interest in every way, lririr to In l"01'. news and happenings of hi neighborhood, the doings of his frim'K v o .. ,1 r . j:.v. , . . i - . . .1 . i n it. B J wuu iiu;cvis ior uiuereiifc t nji, me prices iu u '-. -- weekly visitor which ahould b found in every wide-awake, pngr.-M Just think of it! Both of these ppper for only fZ 00 a year. - Seudallorders to THE HERALD. lOHCMIT. . IT WILL PAY TCU TO BUY YOUK Memorial Work WM. F. SHAFFER, 80MERMET. FENK'A. Manulacturer of and Dealer In Eastern Work KnrnUb! on Short Notlo in tunn Kin Alao, Agent for the WHITE BRONZE ! Persons In need rf Vf .-in n t tt.- k ,,, j And It to tneir Intereat lo call at my show , where a prui r ahowlnif will be given the:n Tw - i4i.i rain iiwj m every case, at l-ncea very low. I invite apeclal atwuuoa t the Whlt Brie, Or Pur. Zlno Monumatits. pro-luced by Fev. W. A. Ring, aa a derMwl improvement in the point of Material anil CoiKtrootioo.ar.d wbl.-h U deatliied to be li e p ipuUr Uiaii niil for our ctiiaiSAbiec'l nale. Uivenaaoail. Wm, F. Shaffer. - 11'. Compounding, we are bCcI I - lngcot adverti.-ej a.iri( JOHN N. SNYDER, : a a r-4 x A. C!. A M T.ll .Jill 'Da1 CaaV . f : . Supporters, Toilet Articles, Perfumes, &c. J GREAT CAR! BEISO TAEES TO U9EOSLT f RCIH AUD rURI AKTICLM. SPECTACLES, EYE-GLASSES,, j. m. LQumbK r.i. u. .w- -w- i r-, t v T -T-X. T 1 VTI TT A If' Hll 1 M -V T1 V KJ i 1 Jt L-a..A..i. , t . MAXCrACTTKEB A!D DEALEE AUD WHOLESALE ARB RETAILEEOf Fidttf, Sash, SUiV Balnstera. CheJa 'ewel PotM, Hit. ; l:'s a lonp life, but devotion to interests anil prierity i'f '!"'' People ha.H won fur it new friH'i"11 yean rolled Iiy and lUe original bhs -it family irnwil t their rerJ- admirers are loyal and ?t-itd: with faith in its teaching". :d :L' the information wLii-b, it Iriiy" homes and firesides. As a natural in.sequenre it eVj old k all the vitality and iro Btrt-ofcthened aud ripened ly tii5'. of over half a century. It has lived on its merit. :'! 01 ' dial support of progressive Aim" It U "The New-York Weekly d-CREIJ EI Over 500 Bautifut Dosigna ? MCKUKcNTAL BR0N2H CCr ; i i fjr the 1 nerve". au-l U
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers