He Convinced tn. Dak. During his vieit to the United States tie lato Ditto cf Marltiorr.oph made a L(t of fiaiid. His qaUk eye, unas imu'.ing niittmcr aud ability to grap easily the many sided electrical ques tions von t!:n honest srlniirutiou of the jiracti.-al Yankee, whose idea rf an lliiIi-h tluke differed in every way from the real, live British peer. Upon oue cation, however, the old domineering f irit f the duke pained th mastery, ami he rjJ fr tlie temporary lapse fioui rt;uliiran manners with a few food Irniscs and a rather severe shak i:;fT up of tin ducal frame. The dcte was making a tour of in-Fr-tioa ever oue of the Chicago cable limn and can:c umn a cable car driver w ho was a typical Yanke. born and l.rt d iu the tate cf Connecticut "( an yea Mop the car quickly?" Ht-Lri Lis t;ruce. "I jist reckon yo kin bet yer life I can, Mr. Duke." "How kkiu?" "In 'Lout two yards," replied the Yaukee. "Ncncense!" sharply exclaimed his pracc. The next moment the duke was buey picking himself out of a email caud bank by the eide of the tram line, into which the abrupt stoppage of the car had thrown him. As he qaietly I rushed himself the Yankee nailed and 14 marked: "I hope ye ain't hurt, Mr. Duke. Goers ye think I kin stop her f uddiut now, don't ye?" Loudon Tel tprapli. l'iilith Iublio DornmrnU and Out. The Eritish government Fells all its publications. It gives nothing away. If you want a copy of a bill that has been ititrrducvd into the house of commons cr art port that has been presented to ! iu the London county council or the l-ourd cf aldirmeu cf the city, you have to Ley it from the official printer?, and yon have to pay postage if it is sent through the mails. Iu our country near ly all official documents cf this kind are given away, aud ore sent free through the mails under a frank. The 13ritih plan setms to be the more sen riLle. It saves millions cf dollars every year that are wasted in the United States to furnish public documents to people who do not care anything for thttu, aud who throw them into the v a---te paper basket as soon as they are received. The charge for efficial publi cations is only sufficient to pay the cost and a email margin for wastage. Thus the government printing cfiice is self supjiortii'g aud the postal service pays a profit of $10,000,000 or $12,000,000 an nually into the treasury. On the con trary, on cur eide of the Atlantic, it costs $3,000,000 cr more to pay for printing for which no oue is the wiser, and our postoflice department declares :in Irish dividend of 9.000,000 or f 10, COO.OoO every year, mneh of which is due to the transportation of "pub. docs." Chicago Record. I-alinC Marmalade With tbe Kurds. The Kurdish chief and bis elder sons stroked their beards and ejaculated 'Mashallab !" whenever their Euroiiean guest put his fork i a bis mouth. "My father, why does the Fireugi eat with a fcock'r" a l4ttle Kurd asked at last, but all the answer he got was a smack from Lis father, at which he cried bitterly. To console Lim I gave him a spoonful cf marmalade, which terrified him ; but, fearful of being punished again for bad manners, he seized the spoon and gulped it down like a pill, saying, "Avol'a Effeudim." He must have liked it all the same, for soon after ward the father came and asked me what the "tatli" was. I gave him the pet, which he emptied. Murad then cleaned the knife and fork and shut them with a click into a patent clasp knife. This put too great a strain on tho chitf's curiosity, and he asked to see it close. After a careful examina tion be remarked oracularly, "Ic truth, only in Firengistan can they, make such tbinpg of beauty." Clive Bigham'a A Ride Through Western Asia." The Short Stop of the Train. Sustained journey speed, from end to end of a run, is not merely a matter of high sjK-ed between stations. It involve also making the station steps short. The more stops there are the more im portant is promptness at stations. The observant man who travels much can not fail to notice the effect on trainmen, on station men and even on passengers of habitual fast running. All hands get trained to alertness and precision of movement. It is a fine thing to watch the handling cf a very fast train at a station. It is invigorating to see the speed without husto of the inspectors and the baggagemen, tins quick and smooth change cf engines and the cut ting off of the dining car. I have seen the other extreme on a Southern rail road, where the ea-y going conductor ran past a ag station aud then backed down a mile to let off one passenger. His serene indifference to time did not make me feel any safer cn bis train. Engineering Magazine. The Mamma Electric Battery. Tlie superstition that human beings should sleep with their heads to the north is believed by the French to have for its foundation a scientific fact. Tbey i-.ffnm that each human system is in it self an electric battery, tlie bead being oue cf the electrodes, the feet the other. Their proof was discovered from experi ments which the Academy of Science was allowed to make on the body of a man who was guillotined. This was taken the instant it fell and flared upon a pivot free to move cs it might. The head part, after a little vacillation, turned to the north, and the body tbeu remained stationary. It was turned half way round ly one -cf the profiteors, aud again the head end of the trunk moved F.lov.iy to the cardinal jmint due north, the same results being r pcatcd until the final arrestation of c 2 ganic movement. Hmr.tr Nora Scotia. 1'it.hrroieo, The great "Y'ankee" fishermen are mostly Nova Scotians, Ixt tbe captains cf cur fishing vessels are, as a rule, Americans, hardy, self reliant, quick to think and to act and ready for any emergency. While the dories are out tbe captain, with tbe aid of the cook, han dles tbe ship and keeps his weather eye n the horizon. If he sees danger in sky f r sea, he sets a sipnal usually a bas ket hoisted in tbe fore staysail halyards to recall the dories. Only too often, though, the gale comes rp with such suddenness that the doric to leeward cannot get back. A dory with the bodies f two fishermen in it or more fre quently empty or tossed bottom up by the waves tells tbe story. Yet ia spite f the danger of starvation a jug of wa tt r usually constitutes nil the j-rmisiou aboard a dory, aud a con. pass is a rare bird. Gostav Kobbe in i:t. Nicholas. The Peacorh al netne. The real borne of the ra,. k r pea fowl is in India. There they were and are hunt'-d, and their flrt-h i used for f'l As these birds live in the sa:a r'ion as the tig r, iaoock hunting is a very dangous sport Tire Joe train of tlie pearcrk is not its tail, as many suppose, tat i composed cf fathers which grow out just above tlie tj.l i. 1 are called tlie tail coverts I'earocka have been known for many hundred y-ar. They are mentioued in the iiibie. Job mention tbetu, and tl. y are men tioned, ton, in I King x. UoiKircds of yeaii ago iu Rome many thousand pea rwks were killed for tlie great feasts whi'h tbe emperor made. The brains c f the peaeor k were cow-ide-red a great trrat, aud many Lad to be killed fur a u.gle feast. Traialac fcUBfrra. The best simpers of the Roman army . r firm tle luiearir h-lea. Roys were tra.ee d M early proficiency by having their duiwri arifpeivW from a tree and ' si g rjDirnl to cut th string with a e'g stutM! ere they could dine. Walked After HI Read Wm Oft Dr. Loye, the French physician, vho has greatly interested himself in the question, "What passes in tbe head of a decapitated human being?" relates the following remarkable story, which he says was taken from the archives of the Vienna courts: It was in the year that Schoer)burg,a well known bandit, aud four cl his associates were caught aud condemned to death. They were already on their knees ready to pay the penalty of their bloody deeds by sub mitting to tbe awful fate cf decapita tion when Schoeueuburg addressed the judge, asking that his four companions might be pardoned on certain condi tions. "If." asked tbe bandit, "after I am beheaded, I get up and walk to the first of my comrades, will you pardon him?" The judge thought that he was pretty safe in complying with the re quest. "Then," continued tk-hoenen-burg. "if I walk to tho second, the third and the fourth, will yon pardon them also?" The judge replied that if such a miraculous feat could be per formed he would obtain pardon for the other three also. The bandit was dow satisfied, and, bending his head, he re ceived the fatal blow. Instantly tho head rolled down in the sand, but to the surprise and horror cf all present the headless trunk arose and walked alone. Aimlessly, it appeared, the body walked around until it passed the first, the second, the third and the fourth ccndc-nined bandit, when it fell down and became motionless. Query, How could a headless body think?" The Shocked Saaiatttaa. The maa who kuew a litilo cf every thing locked at the passenger in the scat ahead cf Lim and finally leaned forward. 'Excuse me," he said, "but you really cui.Lt to shake off the cares of Lusiuess aud go somewhere for complete rest and quiet." "You mind your own affair?," said the other man gruffly. The sympathetic passenger looked hurt "Of course." he said, "your case is nothing to me, I only proffered the ad vice in a spirit of friendliness. At the same time anybody can see at a glance that you are suffering from too close confinement " "There, now, let tip cn that," said the gruff man. "I den't want any more cf your chaff." " What's money to a man in your condition? said the sympathetic pas senger without heeding the rebuke. "Mighty little," growled tho gruff passenger. "You'll never pardon yourself for this neglect," said tho sympathetic passenger. "I wh-h I could," said tho gruff man. " What you need is to get out and ciink in the free air tf nature," said the sympathetic passenger. "You Ut it is," chuckled the gruff mun. His chuckle turned ttj a laugh that shook him so thoroughly that something tinkled at his wrists. He held up his arms, and lo! be was handcuffed. Turn ing to the horrified passenger, be hoarsely whispered: "Ten years in the pen, ha, ha, ha!" And the sympathetic philanthropist sank back in his seat dumb with horror. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Wide Open. "That man caa get anything he wants in here without money," said tbe wait er as a little man left the cafe carrying a box of cigars. "How's that an old friend?" "JJa It was this way: The boss had been running this joint a long time, and he didn't know what tbe trouble was; first class location and everything bang up, but people would pars us by, aud we couldn't pull 'em in. One day this little fellow cornea along and asks how business is. The boss tells him the truth. 'It's cn the bum, says be. 'Do you know why?' asks the man. Jo,' says the boss. 'I'll tell you,' says tbe man, and he shows tbe boss how the door is too narrow, and how you have to turn a corner to get in, and how there is a big sign and a railing in the way, and the cashier's desk blocks tbe window aud yon can't see tbe tables from the walk. Well, the boss spends a lot of money and fixes every thing different, makes a wide door, as you see, and puts the tables so you can leck at the clean linen from tho walk, and you wouldn't believe it, but the people just flocked in in droves and we've been cn Easy street ever since. New York people like a wide open game, and they won't go against anything dark." Iew Y'crk Telegram. X Novel Way to Catch Eela, An interesting story concerning the faculty for association of ideas in fishes comes from tbe West Indies. On one of the islands an old man was in the habit of assembling great numbers of eels near tbe surface cf the water by tbe simple device of striking cue pebble upon another, thus pioduciug a short, sharp sound. On account of this fac ulty be was for a long time believed by tbe othe r natives to be a sorcerer, a reputation which he probably liked to have, for Le made no effort to avoid it, and it was Ly accident that it was dis covered that tbe clinking of the pebbles was always succeeded Ly the throwing of bread and scraps of other food upon tho water. The eels had become accus tomed to connecting the two incidents, and never failed to appear, in the cer tainty of receiving food, when they heard the sound of the pebbles. Unfortunately for tbe confidence of the eels in human nature, as soon as the natives discovered the old man's tricks tbey imitated it to their own benefit and captured the eels as fast as thy appeared. New York Commer ciaL Will lain Lloyd Garrieoa. William Lloyd Garrison, a son of the famous abolitionist, said of his father iu a recent lecture in Boston: "At home Mr. GaniM u was cheer fuL His sense cf the ludicrous was very marked. He was passionately fond of music and had a habit of singing through the house. Rabies were a delight to him and would be good with him when the mother could not soothe them. He was very fond of puna When tho servant failed, be helped in the kitchen. When then was sickness, he was a wonderful nurse. At table he made the conversation gen eral and drew out the most timid. " Apples aad Sleep. A French writer has been collecting medical opinions about apples. An American doctor says that apples con tain more phosphorus than any other fruit or indeed any kind of vegetable and advises the eating cf an apple be fore going to bed at night. Apples, Bays a well known French doctor, induce a n-c.;e quiet sleep than chloral or opium. Two SI 7 Maidens. "I think Tom is going to propose soon. He is always telling me how rap idly his business is growing." "I know a better sign than that. Jack never calls without asking all about pupa's business. " Harlem Life. A leading geographical authority claims that there are SOO mountains in the Uuited States which exceed 10,000 feet in height. It is not a true apology for any coarse ness to say that it is naturaL Thorean. Wind puffs op empty bladders; opin ion, fools. Sorratea. Before and After Death. We usually believe in immortality so far as to avoid prciaration for death and in mortality so far as to avoid prep aration for anything after death. Ras kin. Fashionable young ladies in Japan when they desire to look very attractive gild their lips. Orator CRoarke'i Kick. Jim O'llourke, the famous "orator." when in the Iaguo as a member of the Now York baseball team never had tho reputation cf being a kicker, but upon one occasion be made a protest that will always be remembered by players who were on tho team with him. In a game which wns umpired by Phil Pow ers Jim Lit a ball over the fctce. It was foul by about a foot, but Jeems, thinking it was a home run, began to tear arooud the bases like a runaway horse. When he reached the plate in a breathless state, yet wearing a look cf triumph on his classic countenance, O'Rourke learned to bis discomfiture that the umpire had called tbe ball a foul. "Why, Philly," exclaimed Jim in the mildest cf tones, "that wasn't a foul!" "Y'es, Jimmy, I'm sorry to say it was," said Powers, with assurance, "Why, Phil," remarked Jim rather seriously, "it was five feet fair." "Ob, no, it wasn't, Jim. It was a dead fool," explained the umpire. "Why, Mr. Powers!" protested the orator, growing slightly warm under the collar, "I am conversant with the conglomt ration of facts in this case, and cs my optical eyesight is of extreme excellence I am positive cf your misin formation." This was a staggerer for Powers, Lot he struggled gamely with this reply: "Mr. O'Rourke, you're not entitled to a heme run. Yon must bat ever cgain." "See here, Powers," ejaculated the now thoroughly excited player, "I'll not allow yon to rob me in this matter." "See here, O'Rourke," retorted Pow ers, "if yon give me any more talk I'll have to fine yon." Then O'Rourke found solace in a burst of eloquence which sounded something like this: "Why, you miserable, groveling, sycophantic, phosphorescent, unconsti tutional viper, I've half a mind to ex communicate, extradite, s parate, eluci date, prevaricate and eject yon from this beautiful ball gronnd and this ec centric Kational league, " Powers was by this time tempted to reverse his decision, but O'Rourke, who was too quick for Lim, went out on a fly balL New York Sun. Larf-t Vote of Cattle. Joe and Jerry are the names of the largest yoke of cattle ever seen in America. Tbey are tho property of J. D. Avery of Bucklaud, Mass., aud they are 8 years old and measure 10 feet in girth. They are 1? hands high, and from tip to tip their measurement is 15 feet 1 1 inches. Tbe two together weigh 7,300 pounds. They are beautifully col ored, are models of symmetry, and are extnoncly docile und gentle. Th' ; '. ve been exhibited at all the large agricul tural fairs in the country. They are black and white, like all pure Hol steina. The yoke they wear is said to be the largest ever made, and is 7 feet long and weighs 200 pounds. They walk a mile iu HO minutes. Their horns are magnificent and are highly polished. Their owner has the oxen groomed every day, and their coats shine like satin. On a level they have pulled 11, 061 pounds of stouo loaded on a dray, moving it 8 feet iu one draw. This is a world record pulL They are fed from 8 to 1 2 quarts cf corn and cats ground to gether, 2 quarts cf flax meal and from 6 to 8 quarts cf bran every day. New York Tribune. Bomeleea Kate, the Bos Car. "Jack my drivers, but it's Homeless Kate! Why. Kate, ain't there no gettin you back to your friends? There's 40 chasers out for yen from your road if there's one. Who's holdin you now?" "Wish I knew," said Homeless Kate. "I belong in Topeka, but I've bin to Cedar Rapids; I've tin to Winnipeg; I've bin to Newport News; I've bin all down the old Atlanta and West Point, an I've bin to Buffalo. Maybe I'll fetch up at Haverstraw. I've only bin out ten months, but I'm homesick, I'm just achin homesick. " "Try Chicago, Katie, " said the switch ing loco, and tbe battered old car lum bered down the track, jolting, "I want to be in Kansas when tbe sunflowers bloom." " Yard's full o' Homeless Kates an Wanderin Willies," he explained to .007. "I knew an old Fitchbarg Catcar out 17 months, an oue of ours was gone 15 'fore ever we got track of her. Dun no quite how our men fix it. Swap around, I guess." Rndyard Kipling in Scribner's. Cold In Banmto'a Body. A German paper is responsible for the announcement that Barney Burnato, still more than the legendary king of Peru, who was wont to have his body gilded afresh every morning, deserved tbe title of El Dorado the "Man of Gold" not because of his wealth or of his connection with gold mines, but because his system actually secreted gold. He was, says this credible au thority, tho victim of a disease called me-tallitis, his blood being permeated with a powdery gold, as were his eyes, nose, ears aud all of his mucous mem brane. The pain caused by this condi tion was so intolerable that it is be lieved to Lave been the cause cf his sui eide Well Berlin, Half Done. First Reformer I'm trying to write an essay cn the emancipation of my sex, aud I find it very hard to begin. Second Reformer Oh, I think that would be so easy. Why, you might be gin by sharpening your pencil with your husband's razor, yon know. De troit Tribune. If you wish to be happy, keep busy. Idleness is harder work than plowing a good deal. There is more fun iu sweat ing an hour than in yawning a century. The old Alexandrian library contained 700,000 volumes, the largest collection ever brought togrther before the inven tion of printing. Hundreds of precious little ones' owe theirives to Dr. Thomas' Electric Oil, the soverign cure for croup and all other thniat or lung diseases. ItsMS NEW THE 0iLY PERFECT FAMILY USE. FOR SALE DY JAMES B nOLDERBAUtl, Somerset, Ta. i CVTri i n i I u ft REVIVED MEMORY. VThfa We Grew Ohl. We Recall the Thluea of tone A in. About 75 years ago, upon a rainy day, a small boy who had reached the mature age of S was sitting with his mamma and bemoaning the state of tho weather and accompanying absence of novel entertainment Mamma wore on her finger a beautiful rin that was a family heirloom, atJd as she sewed pa tiently the jewel glittered ou ber little white hand. The small boy regarded the bright bauble for some time in silence and then sweetly requested mamma to take it off aud let him play with it It was a weak thing to do, perhaps, but she complied. I dare say there are mothers at the present day who can sympathize with her, for hu man nature is the same, though fash ions change, aud when the "dear child" looked up in her face pleadingly he looked with papa's eyes, and papa was dead. So be got tbe ring and last it, as might have been expected. He always iusisted that he bad "put it away to keep," but he could never re member where. Tbe years went on. The gontle young mother went out into the gnat un known to Cud tbe light of her life that shone in "papa's eyes," aud the cen tury aud tbe boy having been young together grew old in company too. Finally age began to tell ou tbeui. Tho century got troubled with a complaiut designated "fin de sieclo," and the boy lost his memory for tho things of to day, but became abnormally reminis cent in regard to the past His thoughts often turned back to the young mother long dead, and in the decline of life ho bad as clear a mental picture of her as Lis boyish eyes had ever seen. On evening, having pushed his spectacles on top of his head and hunted every where for thorn vainly, he sat musing before the fire, when suddenly a flood of light illuminated that dark corner of bis memory where hung the picture of that small edition of himself losing or "putting away" tho ring. Ho sprang to his feet with an excited cry: "Tho ring! The ring! I slipped it down the crack in tbe window casing tho ouo that looks out on the orchard!" Upon investigation the ring was brought from its king hidiug place, which was tho exact spot the old man had described. Buffalo Express. Gilded Beaotiea. The eastern women, especially those in Turkey, paint their eyebrows with gilt paint, and at night tho effect is very brilliant and orieutaL When, by chance, a Chinese girl has eyes that aro not quite so slanting as nsual, she cau safely lay claim to spi-cial Icauty. Many Japanese women gild their teeth, while the beauties of the Indies stain theirs a brilliant red. Some of the Afri cans stain their teeth a jet black. Per sian women pencil the outer corners of their eyes to make them look almond shaped, which is considered an especial mark of beauty. Tbe women in many oriental couutries die their finger nails with henna, others let them grow to an enormous length. Temper. Temper itself is not a bad quality. It is not to be destroyed, as we sometimes say. Without temper a bar of steel be comes like lead. A man without temper is weak and worthless. Wc are to learn self controL A strong person is oue who has a strong temper under perfect mas tery. There is a de'p truth here that our mistakes and our sins, if we repent of them, will help in the growth and upbuilding of our character. House wife. Braaarabia. One of the most productive sections of the world is tho Russian province of Bessarabia, taken from Turkey in 1878. Its vineyards often yield 300 gallons of wine per acre. The average yield of wheat is 85 bushels, and of maiaa 60 bushels. A Taahloa Note. Doctor (to female patient) Y'oo've got a slight tench of fever. Your tongue has a thick coat Patieut (excitedly) Oh, dot tor, do tell me how it fits! Facts and Fiction. The largest farm in the world is in the southwestern part of Louisiana, It rxtends 100 miles north and south and t5 miles east aud west It was bought in 1883 by a syndicate of northern capi talists, by whom it is still operated. The fencing is said to have cost f 50, 000. Rice, sugar, corn aud cotton are raised. Loudon Kriage. London bridge is constructed of gran te an J is considered among the fine.' t specimens of bridgo architecture, TliB present structure was commenced in 1824 and completed in seven years, at t cost of over 250.000. Lai-grat package cieaWet etitoomy. THE H. K. FAIRBANK COMPANY, Cbkaso. . Louis. Rev York. Bomon. IliilatkJphla. a4uud ttnew tlie riooa vraa voming. An apocryphal book called the "Less er Genesis" and well known to tbe early Christian fathers tells a wonder ful incident iu the life of Seth. the third sou of Adam and Eve. When the gosjdly Seth was about 40 years cf age, he was "rapt" up into heaven by a trio of an gels aud there told and shown what wm in storo for maukicd. Among other things, the coming of the great deluge was made known to him, as was also tho coming cf the Saviour. When ho re turned to earth, Srth told bis parents what bad happened aud of what be had seen and heard concerning the future cf tbe human race, "And Adam was much grieved when it was made known to him that the world would be de stroyed by water on account of the wickedness cf his own children, but a great peace and calmness came over him when Seth told how tbe face of the earth would again be repeopled. His jcy was exceedingly great when Se th related what was in store in the coming ages, aud he was particularly glad to know that redemption should finally come through Jesuf, the Christ" Tbe I'ompona Colonek The following incident occurred at a ball in Eerlin. A colonel advanced to ward a young lieutenant, who bore on his t reat-1 as sole decoration a large badge richly set with diamonds. "Tell me, young man," he said, "what it that thing yon have got there?" "It is au order, my colonel," replied tho lien tenant "An order!" exclaimed thccolo ncL "It is not Prussian, then, for I don't know it " It is an English order, my colonc'," respouded the juvenile officer. "Ah, indeed." said bis superior, "who, for goodness' sake, could have given you such an order?" "My grandmother, my rckuel." was the reply. "Your grandmother!" jacolatetl the colonel, buri-ting cut laughing. "What is her m.u.cr" "I,Vr mi ji sty Queen Victoria, qcten cf England," answered tbe young liecttuuiit, who was none other than Iiice Albert tf Slcswick-Holsteiu. TLo to'cutl ra J-lecly disappeared. The Cat and the Mirror. I had a favorite cat, which came j habitually to my bedrocn door ns soon as persona began to move about the house in tho morning and mewed for admittance, scratching to emphasize Ids request if immediate response were not niado. One morning the idea seized me to place him upon tlio dressing table while I was dressing. The cat at once saw his reflection in the mirror and began to arch his back and whisk his taiL Ho twisted and turned himself and began to "spit," as if eager for a contest, and of course bisappnrent adversary did the same. Then be struck savagely at the mirror, evidently without the desired result Puzzled, he went behind the glass to investigate, returning thorough ly dissatisfied and eager to get at closer quarters. With a hearty laugh I drew near and began to stroke him, aud in the mirror he now saw his own reflection and mine, with my hand upon his head. It seemed as if the cat took in the situa tion at once, for he glanced from me to the reflection several times, lost his ir ritation and settled down to watch the proceedings, every now and then look ing Into the mirror and back to ma Many a time subsequently he took up Lis position before the mirror, quietly and naturally regarding his own aud my imago without the slightest emo tion. Current Literature. An t'ncnaclooa KebarT. The Rev H. R. Hawcis. author of "Music and Morals," tells a good story in bis book, "Travel and Talk," of an unconscious rebuff he ouce received in a railway carriago: An old gentleman who aat opposite had been eying me over his evening pa per with what I fancied was a look of recognition. Presently he handed mo the paper and pointed to an article on a musical subject "I thought, sir," be said politely, "you might like to see this article, " One glance was sufficient I recog nized an almost verbatim chapter of "Music aud Morals. " Disgusted at the fraud, I handed the paper back, re marking that I was qaito familiar with tlie contents. "In fact, " I rashly added, "it is a chapter out of 'Musio and Mor als.'. Y'ou may know tho book?" "Indeed, sir, I never heard of it Who is it by?" "Ob," I said, "a man named Ilaweis a parson, you know. " "Oh, really! I never heard of him I" "Haven't you?" said L "No," said ha "Oh!" suid I, nud the conversation dropped. So of whomsoever it may be said or sung, "'E dun know where 'e are, " in the long run "most every bedy" finds his levcL Where Hotel Men Draw a Line. Among annoyances to which hotels are subjected is one which means ma terial loss at busy times. This is when a person telegraphs or writes for rooms to be reserved and upon arriving iu town decides to go to another hotel. Very frequently rooms which could have been pven to guists are vacant ou account of this, aud the cureless ho tel patrons appear to be unaware that thry hav inflicted any injury on tho house. Sometime-, however, when a cleric calls upon them with a bill for the rooms that they didn't occupy tbey are(teu to conviction of wrongdoing and teitlc the bill. The matter has rare ly been ouo of litigation, but the hotel man has tbe best cud of it and the pro prietors' national association intends to make it so understood whenever it is necessary. Hotel Gazette. Malting Lore l"p a Tree. Billing and cooing among the Fijians is a curious feature iu the ir social cus toms. It is decidedly against the rnlo to do any courting within doors. The gardens or plantations are the spots held sacred to Cupid, and the generally ap proved try sting place of lovers is high up among the branches cf a breadfruit tree. Yon may often walk around a planta tion on a moonlight night and see couples perched 40 feet from the ground in tbe breadfruit trees, one oii each side of the trunk, a position which comes fairly within the limits of a Fijian maiden's ideas of modesty. To Take m Haa'a Measure. Tailors can take a customer's measure very quickly' by a devico which has three graduated brackets sliding ou each other to fit on a man's back aud arm, with tape measures attached to them at tbe proper positions for taking all the measures. Remedial Tripe. New Family Physician Aud now, niy dear madam, will yon briefly tell me what you have already done for your illness? Madam Europe aud North Africa. Detroit Jonrnal ' OM ERS KT M A IJ K ET R E PORT ) C'BRKe-TKU WtKKLV HT Cook & Beerits, Wcdncmlay, (h t 6, 1S97. ra e lite AriDles i-hmI, lb I evil piimted B, Apple Butler, per Kul ( evu (mil. per t Butter. fresh ki, per lt (enmniTj, t B .1 loe ..ac Beeswax, per .country Imm, per t IWon J Miparcurv,! im,, p,.r t S 10 to lie U'J? i Ml ill', imt m fl iii nc 'nhi.uIJi-r, per B lo se Ili-ana J '" navy. l-r bus i '--". i- ..l:tc ftimi., MlniiU-rlaiid, per bbl Uem. ut- p.,,, laud, per Lbl .l5 Cornmeal, prr , S i per dux . ... ..lie Fish, lake herring- l7Jl:2 Honey, white clover, pur t 1" lnl, per B 8 to 10c Mm-, pertibl !.() Mo'.hkwii, N.O., pur gal St Ouionx, per 1uh.......?.' I'olatoeK. per bu SO kittle Peaches, evaporated, per lb ..10 lo I V Prunes, per lb X lo I Or IN. YA per bt.l ..fl.l I'ltlKl.uiy, per Olil JjHiry, uuk Kacki . 2 " y, " " .tiw " t Im aarkfi (Salt, Icrnund a'.uin. 1SU aacks. ...tir maple, id .. . , au.ne imooru-d vellow. our t 5c Sugar. wliile, A. per tb t',c gntuuuiteu, per Cube, or pulverized, per B.kc Cmn J PY fc.H . ,. H T pi 1 mni.le. per eal 50 to Me Htoneware. Knlloa He TkIIow, per It) .. .3 to V Vinegar, per! 'J) to ale ( tlim.lhy, per bua tl.t to II. 7.1 clover, per bun .$".UU to A Si Seeds. crimson, per lius. 4t " alf:.!(a, per Iuk e.X) ( " alsrke, per bU4. 7.M Millet Herman, Dc'r bus 1.2 t Iwrley. vrhite beardless, per bus, 1.2 tilirk wheal, per bus &c I eon,, ear. j-t b : , 4c Grain i " sbell. it. pei bu , eV i 'sits, per bi:k O c ' rve. iet i . .. c & reed IU p-r bus . tc I brui., t-r !'l U .T V I eurn an-! mu ruon, per IfHJ Bm ' (flour, roiler nr,e-, js-r lbl.,. .. .iUI " sfing pi le.il ii.ij rue . Mull rfraile .!" I fle.ir. lower irnnie. tier 1't t' M in- f white, per In) & sue I reU, per 1U0 tw fV3f7 n M SLD VETSnfiF' OF THE WfiB ATEIi YEARS OF SUFFHfiSria HAS fl SKOGK OF PAILILYSiS. Frvrx the Prrvt, I'lica, JV. T. Mr PavM G. Talbot U a well-known and J "'..L? e .i,en ..f -om.tr. Nrwl res pet' .iliiSatlmetoiV.wlHthr.-ey.-ar, a stroke of paralysis, wiii. h he at- o tlie rflecta of a aomij received oh f i iSiJ before Peterslmrf. lork, resii: ncn hail InhitlH Irt !. iritH of June. lAtA. before IVlcmhtirir, VS., while serving with the New York Heavy Artillery. The folluwiiii: is hi own neeount ef his illursa and convalescence, which ill be fouud interesting: KI.J.KSTO.S, X. Y.. An-. SI, im. "On tha fifth day of IVeeniher, ISI'1, I was taken with a paralytic nins k, which nf frrted tho aholo of the left sile, mid I could not spenk f.r three weeks. I was confined ImsI for a loiiir time ami rtntiiutiy nt- tended br a physician. thoii:.h liiile relief Wil experienced. My sleninch and lliwf muscles of my throat were n:uch nttertetl. I s wounded in June. l.M.I. ut rcMsinirc. Vs., hit vintr then Imt Ihrce fineern of my lc!t luM'1, and thut always aflicie.1 me in a marked deirrce. my arm often liecoiuini; numh. 1 should Mate thut on the tla I re reived tht stroke, I had two tliitiiirt slits-ks, the f.rst in !! morning, iii h was f li-'ht tiiat the ilo li.r an i. t lit all ainruied. I ut the second i nrly finished me up. Kver sine.- the aar 1 had suilcn-d with nervous ile l.ililv and my condition as very bud when 1 was Hit.icketl. I am now sixty year oM and ImnMy -hired !sk for uiiythintr npi-roc hinjr good health after my li.c of sulluriug, but I .T.V,o. 7 .- i if .r 1 i,.H,i..J r. - ' : It 'ij' 7-;" "V3 ExAuir.e -rwr cr; - wmmm S W -i Produces ihe Greatest Heat JIMlMfeW. 'rem the Least Fuel I Sg&te2l,- iV The cel.1 air is drawn fr-w the fluiw, i I FS-tia . iivh.uied thniui'h l'w sUU and t S Vi Lr- t-.irfta;i i A ti Bntn Any Kind of Coal! afl'Ut"' k-rV----" K:U f'eea Fir 7wenf-four Hourt! kf 5 I o-Tc f " " ''' Cjh i i Uifd at a Single or Double Htater! ScAliSaL-si i A.lths Cod Fjin(sNon of the Errort! J JAMES B. HOLDERBAUM, Somerset, Pa. Lived otr Hn-Hd and Milk for Years. ! Home llts-tors Kaitctl to Cure Me. lr. t-u'.m MiccecUcl In 1'urtiii;. For more than four years I have had a Imd cuseof cnturrii, sUiinach and iceneral trouble Tis-k cold coi.tinually. Kor one and one-hnlf ycsirs I could at onl.C brnid mid milk. Trot! tlillt-reiit tiorlors to net lid of niy misery, but got worse and wtirse. So 1 went lo lir. muIiii for tr. itltiK nt- mid to-ty I iiliiasslr,n as ever, tun t-.it uiiythliii; and don't ltke any more co'-i. and et.ieddi r myself rand of Ibis I- ir.ble-tUu.-e'. John II. kaiiitiuan. M:ittMwaun.i, Mllitiu Co., I'.t Catarrh and KyeTroulle Cured by Ir. Ktlin. Kor more tlian .1 yes.rs I have had a very had tuseef eye troiitil.-uml cntarrti. The ejes coiiiinua!ly cot sore and trtw wenkcr and milker. I ul'A'uys lo.ik colli. lr. Sal m cured me. lleveiund Kim'.', rlv. !cVcytown. Wittinet! by A. J. kiniU-rly. .M i :TI in comi'y, l a. A Case of Far Trouble Helms Ciire.1 by lr. halm, Co.nplieati d iih lEmiit Noises und iKjtiiicss. My tnritiiient Is Tor t'.ie cur and t li rKt . I am r. .i'ily liiipnivln, and I know 1 shall Is. eureu, which 1 think ni l be soon. Jir. Mai v K. I:.l.-.-ll. I wif-biinr, Cnmeroii couniy, fi!. SO cctr 0"OK FH". Th.' M. '.licit Adviser, a short hi-.!o'y of priv tte dise.ises. advice to vounx iiiid till. . im ci.iUv tii.M- cinl.'ii;pl:;tin niarrine. This Issk will Ih seni fns-ti nity oiie on i 1 :ii-aliMii. Audit ss i. r. raiin, 1. l. bcx 7'O.e olumbus -- Kiielts-ing a Z cent stamp '"rHr'r'ittuiMtTION O' thf. ufllNr. Fnch persiui npnlyln? fr m.-.lie:il treatment sliould st ml or briiiK fntui - to 4 ounces of urine ( ib il ptssl ttr-t in the in iriim preferred i, wliicti will I rw-eive a tiirelul ctieiiucal and iiiierosts.i- al ex iiiiuia'.ion, mid It' reijii r-ted a arittcn analvsis will Is plven. Diseases of women, sueii as have Imtlbsl tlie skill of ail other physician and remedies, quickly cured. Cancers cured without the use of the knife or cm. un tie. No cutliii;:, no puiii, lio thinner. ., ,. ManhiKsl perl'tctly restored. lulck, painless and certiilii eurv for IniHitenee. lost Inan IhmkI, sperinalorrlitin losses, we;ik nnd iitnun debilily: also for ptstl.tliiis, veritsst le. am" all private diseases whether from Impiudtlit habits of youth or sectional funt'lious petd ilv and peniianently eunsl. ..... , , , . , All eye operations HUcct-sslully pcrfonued r xnuiitiation and etiiisultutioti fn-e to every body. Address all itmiinutiicMtloiis 'to liox at, Columbus, Ohio. -IHOT-S-WIIL. J1E AT- Town Motel Iay. ct. Nov. Di-cJan. Johuslown.Capital. Tliurn. t S M Soiiiereet.Vaiinear. Friday. 2U i 21 21 HEN XS YLVAN I A RA I LROAD. casTcnn standand Tistc, IN EFFECT MAY 12, 1897. coudkkskd at'iiioc-LC TraiM arrive and depart from the station at Jotmsluwa a follows: BST W ABB Western K.i press . 4a a. m. Houlhwestern Kx press Johnstown Aecominotlation, Accoinniodution.. t " S:..2 " -: " 2- " S:.l " t:"K wx p. m. 8 JO " Pacific F.x press.. Way FtuMenirt-r I'ittsbnnr Ki press.. Fust Dine Johnstown AcoomniotUtlou. CAST WARD. Atlantic Espr.wit 5:,N a. fit HI " :-t " K. -a -shore Kxpretrt . Alttsina AccommtKlution.... Ihit Fxprt-oi Ma'n lane llxprcs--, - , Ai"mi Acco'iiiiiO'tntiou... Mail Kxjns Johnsleiwii Acettmiiifsiaii.ei t:K llhlii . l2:-t! p. in. 1.1 i: 7:11 10:; J rbii:;delp!iia Kxpre-rS Fast IJue For rali. nvi?-, Ae etlon Tickt Act-nN-T addtess fbts.. l i.tt, 1 A. W. D S Fiah Aven-ie. I'ltubiiri I'a, J. U. Ilutchlnsnn, J. IU Wood, Ucu. ManuKer. Uen 1 rwaa. A iii " so much uni.I shout Pf. imams nnK I'ills for ''! i'e..'le ? the ne.spaper. ...d tl.ul ll.cy were for paral, lira that I uetcr.m..cl to try thrift-. lb.. I J 1 ju,t one yeiir a:i.l four months afro. I rietly lol- lowed direction and felt better auli.n a k. I nut not the same man I was when I bcLiiti lo take lr. lllmmV medicine. My old c inrade Norton, who a in the same company aud rcyiincut with me, and was a crievous si'tferer from per.eral mrvotn debility, at my reconiiiieiidalioii has taken lr. Williams' Pink I'ills and they havs helped him wonderfully. I certify on honor that the above state ment is true in every particular. (Siipied) David t Taldot." Witness Jons V. I.APPt rs. Dr. Williams' Pink Tills eoiit.:i:i, in a eon- leiiscd firm, all th- elements mccsmiry to (rive new lite and richness to the blood nr. J restore shuttered nerves. They are also a specific tor troubles peculiar lo femult s. such us suppressions, irregularities and all forms of weakness. Tln-v build np tlie l,t..l. and r.T tore tlie glow of health to pile ami sallow checks. Iu men they eti'eet a radical cure in all cases arii-in from mental worry, over work or excesw of whatever i.ature. Pink I'ills are sold in boxes (never in loose bulk) it it cents a ntx or six hose f,r rU.-fi. and mav lie hail of ail driicvij-ts. or direct ly mui! from Dr. Williams' Medicine Company, Stiit uocUily. U. Y. it is a Great Comfort. to a t::a' mouse ki: iter to IIA K A i )I STOVE. THE Bloffeielfa flir Tlgiil Ti ore t.f t'.ic most rfctt heating stmcs, i .1 ;...i..h.:h.!.! u. orr placed un tlie inrlrt. A" the Ltc-t am! Ics ideas are i.Kort.i rateil iel its con-lruttion. Every f atnrct i vnue tlural.ility, cleanliness sii.l tton n:iy lu-sLvcn well planned and and llus method f tiic-ula:ioii Prevents Cold Floors Anl ca! " lies t?iat mmh drsiivj uni- rr"ii ncFCRc voo Cut- A Case of Catarrh and Thnic.t Trouble t'ur.tl by lr. s.!!m. For more than 3 years onr 2 children have ts'en sufl'-niii Iniiii catarrh and llinal lroul le. alo en'uisetl tons Is. They were coiitimt ully lakina co!d mid !i:ir::iv brtntlie at ntiit. Tbe'.r .oiistiinih'ii Us-., lie ui.dcriii'o ed. Altera sboi-t etmrst4 t.f trtntineiit with Ir. Salin. tin y have a'ni.e.t entirely recoven-d troln th' ir li:is-table di-ase. J. F. Hariifou. I!, lit unite, C. litre county, i'a. Couldn't Wiilk !."t Vanls nt a Time. Was No ! Fjirthly l'i-to Anv I'ne. Tltousht 1 was Cuiiiitf to Die, but It. Suliu f tired tne. For 2 yea rs or more t linve Imd n ftaifal trtubl U in.n lo icet very weak. Mv lnnis would not ctny itieaiiy hiiiiv. Couldn't wuik n strt-ti'h of l.'i anl. mid ley b.'tirt would Im iiI Ht a fuirfi;! n.tent ll.e leitst excrt'oii. u t1'll. cil iy bhsr-l lertn d to w:.t r. 1 i:iiidit.lty Is -Cilliie I'.ile us tine b ml. I !i Ii.tear1l.lv use I i any tiic. and uil niy iieilils.rs and n ! lives t honirlit I was .el.tf I, tiie. Home tl.s--lorsenuhlirt help tne. so I went to lr. 'tltii, und t.eiliiy. I :ilo il.4;...v til nI.i?.-. tll.it I a'.l t slriii:T li'atl ever, ceil cat siivlbin. .ion 1-lH il:t s work i.ti.i iijtiy lueas it.in-n ms aiiyt.ue, and iny eohir, any one intv be pntiid tl Mis. Sadie m.l.l.s. All. st. d by her Citln-r. Frank Kit-lunlsn. lHiuio, Ciuiilniu county, I'a. Feb. Meh. A pi. May. June. July. Auu. Sept. 17 17 II IJ 7 4 la Is 11 lj It 10 CONDENSED TIME TABLES. Baltimore and Ohio Railroad SomerMt and Cambria Branch. KORTUWARD. Johnstown Mail Express. Kork wood 70 a, III., Somerset Ssi, Siovestown s-.il, HixiT ersville 1030, Johnstown 11:10. Johnstown Mall Fxpcss. RockwiMtd 11:'J0 a. m., Somerset ll:l Stoyesiown 12:1:!, Hoov entville 12:21, Johnstown 1:10 p. in. Johnstown Aecomm.slatlon. Ris-k wood l:.V p. m., Stimerset .Vji stoyestowu ac lloov eravUle xW, Johnstown ti li. OL'TUWAkD. Mali. Johnstown :W a.m.,Htovers r '-.1 Mloyt Blown S-JJ, Somerel ll:2 iUs-kwood lll.2d. Express. Johnstown J:tfp. m., Hooversv'.lle Siovestown 3:Ij, Solnt rsta :t2, Koch wood t.Uu. Daily. D 11. MAKTIN. MuiiKirer of 1 11 it' r TratMc. IMPORTANT TO ADVERTISER'S. Tho eresm f tlio oountry pnpora is ftrani! In Homing-ton's Conrty Kent List threw i aJrenisers avail themselves of Uicso lisvt, copy cf hich crva be bid of Kocuutox. Cu&. of Xcv York A rittshurg. mmrwrmmmmtmmtrimnmwm sE UllJWUi O S B BUI 1 1 IQXj jc: U rci'iirca a oo cxkctcl fitfxjk ami a neatly :r, ,r - rofnii lo do a ldi.-k lurii.e.-.j. 1 I 'lire Drus LLCI;:. rc.ih anl Gool coridition. In tl.e wav of '- Prncr-rint inn Comjiountjin- W(! ar(; I lCOOlljJllUll Anvtliin-notaJr!;.,,; ak' wc arc sure to have it. You arc alwa v? jure or "et;;t , ,: " Optical Goods S::,t! t Trusses Fittcil. All of tlie le.jt and t-io.-t :i ;.i',,. j t. " kept in stock. Sali.sfaction guaranteed. ' I JOHN N. SNVDHR, A Vw Drujriji.-'t, v a . 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 ; 1 1 1 1 1 1 .' 11 1 ; 1 11 ; 1 1 1 1 1 . 1 . ; 1 1 1 ; . Louthcr's Dm; Main Street, Somerset, Pa. This Hcdsl Drag Store is Rapidly B:::ri:?av Favcrlte with People in Eearc: cf FRESH . MD . PURE . DRUE Medicines, Dye Stuffs, Sponges, fna Lontbe S T 1 5 I i oijbiiu liUllci nanAT rAKt nr.:-.'; T.'..:si to rsr.oLV rur.sn ami pi h. a;:t:i lb. SPECTACLES, EYE-GLASSES, And a Full line of Optical GooJ al-aj-3 on l.ar:d. Frci large assortment all cau be TH2 FINEST BBMBS CF lways on hand. It u always a jieasure to d'--! to 'utending purchasers, whether they buj from us or elsewhere. J. M. LOUTHER D. MAIN STREET - - SOMERSET.? Somerset Lumber Ya- ELIAS CXJlSnSTCtsTGITAM Hard and Soil. "Wooc Oak, Popl.irt KIIlnes, Main ut. Yellow Pine, Flooring. Clierry, (sbiiiKleia, loors Lalli, M hlte Pine ltliudn. A feneral lineof all frrailmof Lumlicrand ! !! i tic attrriitl ar.! I". : I- stuck. Also, can furuinh any tiling in thr line of our buMiie '. -r : . .: :l : bit pruDiiiMieKS, such as UiackeU, od.l-i2ed.wi'r it.'t . Elias Cunningham, Office and Tsnl Opposite S. 4 C R. R. Station, TheN.Y. WeeklyTribui 11 V 1. V 1 4 . A. .-3r. A. --1 .if-' 4- - J v 4 With the clt if t!if I'n -M.li-niml T,r!i.:.!.s:: Till' ! ::H.! NK the fact that the Anicrittiti t-j-le are now anxious t :!-. t!: .r home ami liu.inc iutetests. Yi meet thio i': i::i;i.::, i .li:;. - iixice ami proHiiiicu.:. vm art-: her Mate nr Na: :-'ti:iI : - ;- " - tiewalt.f the fiht for the j :; 't f r which TliK TUH'.i M- '-k" from ihi inception t; tlie prce::t thty, ami won it crv.ittt vi' ti'r;' Kvetv iK!f iMe efi'ort illl i.tit f rth, ami ni.ny freely -fr.:. The WEKKLY TRI11UXK i rrt inic.etitly a National Family Nep3F'f' ; ng, instructive, euU itaining and iiitli.-.i.'i.-iable to eaeh nieiiiU r ii We furnish "THE HERALD" arid "N. Y. WEEKLY TH':. ONE YEAR FOR ONLY $2.00. CASH IN -ADVANCE. SUBSCRIPTIONS MAY BEGL1 AT ANY TIME. .Add reas all orders, to TI I K 1 1 KRI VYrlte jonr same anil sJJrfs oa a postal card, swnd it to e. , , Tribune Baildins-, w Trk Cltj, aad sample tll flt ' Weekly Tribune will be nailed t jsa. IT WILL PAY YOU TO BUY YOUR 3Icmorial Work WM. F. SHAFFER, SOMERSET, fENX'A. Manubctarrrof and Dealer In Eastern Work l'urnls!tl oa Mliort Notlr luni in (imn Tan Ak Asent for the WHITE KKoNZE ! Pir!n In nitnl of Munument Work vll fliul tt to thfir tiitnvfi to mil nt ny hop wt-r ynptr nhitwinir will Ih 2ivn thru. -Htil;:ftMn tctinr.sitfr! In rv ry runr, in Trtcvti vrry low. I tax it ttvoial tt(t nlitn Whitf Stt; Or Pif Zoo M3'?ttTip'H. pnxli:v1 fcy It. W. A. r if ii-i;nv'iiM ! in I . p.i.t t-f Mii!-r!l i r..-t ru.-t ht 1 I'U li lirn. nt-1 to i i It t pirtU' .V-nut' rl lir far c i- 4 to t aW. tiive u t ril. Wm. F. Shaffer. WE HAVE BOTH OF THEM. ()Mi:isi;t. ia fiuppoiivns, Toilet Articles, Perfumes. &c. THfc bovTuB Ollui ....vA.. jfcTTEJSTIoN T' TI1K PiSPm Sii;v, of Faily Eii MASCrACTCBIa ASD DKALCB 1XO WBOLCALI ASD RTTAIMROr Lumber and Building Materials. Hah. StsrRi ISaIu-:cr. (Iiftj A'ewel loN, III?. SOSELV FO.H FARMERS AND VILLAGERS FOR .rU.m All A OTHERS. foi: SOMS A?1D DAUGHTERS, FiK ALL THE FAMILY. 5 far CIESTBi'S AS Over coo - jr Beautiful ; c Veelcne Ji J 'm-
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