Peter Frmrer'i Failure-" The stag was crawling op a long bill, and the bour was 3 o'clock in the afternoon, w hen a man sprang out of the bushes ahead and ordered the driver to pull up. There were five of us inside, aU half asleep, and hold ups bad come to be eo frequent that no one was excited- We were waiting for the usual order to "all bands down and be quick about itr when the driver, who had been muttering and growling to himself, called out: "HeKo, thar! That you, Tele Frazer!' "Yes, it's nief' we beard the high wayman reply. " What you doin' yere?" "llol.liu' you up." Humph, l'ete Frazer, you're uomau! Y.u can't hold up nothiu' nor nobody! You'd U tter git along before somebody burt! you!" 'IaV. a yere, Hank Smith!" we heard the man say as he came nearer, 'I wai t the crowd to git down and band op, and if you turn rusty I'll gin yu loth 1-ar'ls of this shotgun." "Shoo!" replied the driver, "Come, now, vou skip before I git mad! This crowd baiu't got to be held up by no t.ich a critter as your "What's the matter with meT' "You baiu't got the nerve and don't know the bizness. Why that ar gun o yours is wabblin about like a straw iu a gale, and you're as lle as if you'd washed your face! I shau't hold this crowd more'n a minute longer!" "Hank, I'm a deierit man." "Slioo!jYou couldn't 1." "And I'm holdin you up." "Not much! Jit along, now, and don't make a fool o' yourself. I'm half an liour behind time as it is." "If I hain't holdin' you up, then what am I doin?" asked the robber in a quavering voice. "Dun no, but reckon you ar' jest prac ticiii' a leetle. Drop it, Pete. You couldn't hold up a Chinaman. 'Taiu't in you. I'll tell the crowd inside to let you off this time, but don't bother me agin and git me mad!" "Hank Smith, I I" "li. sliet ud ami eit out o' the way and le keerful your gun don't go off and shoot yourself in the fix. tet up, thar, Job and Jonas!" And the horses started on at a brisk walk, and those of us at the open w in dows caught sight of the Iwck of a mail as be left the road and disappear fd iu the bushes. When the top of the bill was reach -d, we legau to congratulate tlie driv t, but be cut us short with: "Oh, pshaw! Reckon I was goin to let any such critter as Pete Frazer hold me up and git the laff ou me? Humph! If be fools with me any more I'll git down and make him cum outer them clothes and put a woman' dress on." Detroit Free Press. Cnpid's Hopeless Race. The old man was thoughtful. "You say Maria has run away?" he xaid. "She's eUied with Bill Jones, and they've started for town." "Hosses?" inquired the old man. "No; bicycles," replied she. "i me or two?" "Two one for each." "That settles it," said the old man; "we can catch them before they get to the parson's. "They're Uth good riders," suggest ed the wife. "That's so," admitted the old man, "and they could beat either one of us alone, but we're a powerful team when we get together, Hannah. Can you leave your baking for a while?" "If anything burns I can bake again," the said sententiously, "but if Maria gits away w ith Rill Jones she's gone for good." "tiit on your bloomers in a hurry, then," exclaimed the old man. "I'll te gittin' the tandem wheel out of the woodshed meanwhile, and if we don't make those two scorchers think there's a whirlwind after them, it'll seem very funny." "IK you s'pose they forgot aliout the tandem?" "Maybe they thought we'd forgotten bow to ride it," replied the old man, grimly, as he made bis back into- the form of an arc just to .satisfy himself that he had not forgotten how to do it. And that night as Hill Jones looked longingly up at the window of tlte room where his fair one was confined. be bitterly reproaached himself for his foolishness in-thinking that a single wheel could get away from a tandem. He swore softly to himself that when next he tried to take the maid away he would have a sextuplet, fully manned, and with an auxiliary gas engine attachment- Chicago Post. A Ubiquitous Phrase. Krom the Waslunplon Star. The. excessively plump gentleman had g!ne into the clothier's to get a ready-made coat. "I always come here," he said, affa bly, to the salesman ; "it's the only place iu towu where I can get gar ments big enough for me." "Yes, sir. I remember your size. Hoy," lie shouted to an attendant, "bring tue one of those sixteen to one coats." "I don't want a political platform; I w ant a coat." "That's all right, sir" "And I'm a gold standard man, any bow. I don't see that you've got any business to try to riug in any campaign Ide8 on me." "This isn't the same sixteen to one," rep' ied the clerk. "It's a little exag- gera'jon we employ to designate an ex tra large size." "What does it mean ?" 'Sixteen yards of cloth to one coat' Nothing to Indicate It From tl Chicago Port. "There aren't nearly so many com plicated diseases now as there were a few year ago, are there, doctor?" "Yes, inded, there are." "That's funny. There don't seem to I any indications of it. But possibly deaths from such complicated trouble are fewer." The doct r shook bis head. "I am afraid they are fully as numer ous," he said. It was the tarn of the other to shake bis head now. "I don't understand it," be said. "It rertainly seemed to me as if the doc tors attributed fewer deaths to simple Iieart failure," There is no other remedy on earth so simple, so effectual, natural, in the cure of summer complaint iu all iu forms, as Dr. Fow ler's Ext. of Wild Strawberry. She "What a dreadful crowd ! I w ish I had stayed at home." He I don't; I wish theotlters had." Truth. Old Whisky the Best From the Lancet. xi w. Hiirmnnlr prevailing ideas as to the chemistry of whisky are evidently confused. The public notion nas al ways been that crude or freshly dis tilled w hisky was iujurious and that it required the mellowing influence of age to make it fit for consumption. In others words, new whisky was held to be deleterious because it contained fusel oil, and that the reason why old whisky was more wholesome was be .! thu fusel oil chaneed in course of time to the so called oenanthic ether. To put it chemically, the aniyl alco hol (fusel oil) oxidizes slowly Into amyl ether, which is not only thought (o be innocuous but to improve the flavor. The Deputy principal of the Inland Revenue Branch of the Gov ernment Labratory would remove the notions at one sweep. Thus, in reply to a question 'before the liquor coniniissiou on Tuesday last he stated and it was a repeated statement that it was a mistake to suppose that new spirits contained more msei oil and were more unwholesome than old. With the former part of his state ment we will not now deal, but to the Utter we distinctly demur. It can not be supposed that whisky mer chants take the trouble to store their whisky for years unless they kuow it is thereby improved from the diatetic point of view. Again it is well known that so convinced are the authorities of the Canadian government of the uu wholesomeness of new whisky that we believe they have a regulation in fore prohibiting the sale of whisky that has not leen stored for a certain number of years. Fusel oil is admit tedly injurious indeed, poisonous according at least, to the experimeuU of several observers. In one case for example, one part of amyl alcohol in 500 parts of water caused anaesthesia in frogs in twenty minutes, the heart's action becoming slower, the skin dark, death occurring in about two hours, and the cordiac pulsations gradually ceasing. The common effect of fusel oil is to Droduce inteuse headache, and it must be borne in mind that in the case of whisky the action of alcohol must lie added to that of the fusel oil. The amount of fusel oil, we believe, in w hisky averages 0.2 per cent. These observation hardly bear out the state ment made before the commission. Incidentally we may add that it is ex ceedimrlv satisfactory to find that the consensus of opinion of the witness be fore this commission appear to be that there is a decrease in drunkenness in the metropolis, but this decrease, it noteworthy, is less among women than among men. SAVES THEIR EYES- Pterygium os Both Eyes Cured. Mr. Moses M. Taylor, Blackburn, Westmoreland County, bad a fleshy growth from the inner corner of each eye grow up over the pupil, iliuding him so he could not work. Dr. HadUf , 804 Penn avenue, was consulted ta ojgh Mr. Samuel Harris, whom the doctor had cured of the same thing. Mr. Taylor's eyes were perfectly cured also. Mr. Geo. Meyers, Springdale, Pa, had the same kind of growth, which had advanced to the danger line. By the doctor's operation, by bis special method, which after hundreds of trials has never failed, his eye is as per fect as ever. The doctor is wonderfully successful in all ear affections. Of Great Importance. "I'm sorry dinner is late, John," she said, apologetically. "The fact is, I went to the club this afternoon, and there was such an important subject up for discussion that I could not leave until late." "I suppose you were settling the Presidency of the United States," be suggested, sarcastically. "Oh, dear, no," she answered, so lemnly. "It was a matter of vastly more importance than that." "The financial question, perhaps," he sneered, for it always put him in ill humor to have dinner late. "No," she replied, calmly; "nothing of that sort could have detained me, but when the discussion turned on bi cycle f addles, I really could not tear myself away." On Guard. Dobbins I didn't know you bad organic heart trouble, Bright' disease, hereditary consumption and hardening of the liver! Bobbins I haven't. Dobbins Hut vou insinuated a much to the man who just went out. Bobbins I kuow. He is a friend of mine and a life insurance agent. Biggs "Why does Brown always write his jokes on such tliiu paper !' 1'iinr ni the editors can see through them, I suppose." Making the Best of It Museum Maiu-gvr You know tlte sword swallower who went west to seek his fortune? Fat Lady Yes. Manager He wants to come back. Fat Lady To swallow swords? Manager Xo; they've tarred and feathered him, and he wants to pose as the man bird: THE .BEASflH MI. Every Why Has a Wherefore and TU Well to look for it at Times. In these dan people watit to know Whys and wherefores. The lirth century man is a natural akeptic. The why and wherefore of nin-h li plain. He reads statements of suwioaed facta. He told every ailment can be cared, lie tries some panacea. It fails; be tries another with the same result. Boca experiments make him look ask ance at future claims. Often the fault is his, but he dout see why. He may hare a backache or perhaps a lame or weak back. lie nsed iJaster or liniments, they re lieved him fur a time, but failed to cure the trouble. This is his fsult: the why is that ha did not know the wherefore of his atbes. Had he known that the kidneys were the cause. That backache geuersllT means kidney ache. That the kidneys must filter the blood, Tust failure to do so affects the back. mat oaikartie is only the first step ward many kiducy disordera. rrinary troubles follow. nn.. to ot tirine. Excessive nrine. Ili.lt. Krirhl's diaMao OlIlC for all kulrutv mmnLint. me acning bsck has do sweater enemy than Doaa's Kidney Pills not iujurious to the most delicate constitution. Don't act on the bowels, but direct on the kid- . . i'j an unin. ou rents per box, or six boxes for 2.riO. Mailed 00 receipt ofprice by Koater-Uilbnra Co- nunajo, 1, sow agents lor the United States. t If Tin faff A sore spot, green, black, or blue, is a THF 5 SPOTS u" ST. JACOBS 0IL.&. Vrr IT IS MAC. Binding and not Binding. Clara Oh, mother, we had such fun at the party! Young Smith proposeu that be and I should go through a mock marriage ceremony just in fun, you kuow; and it was too funny ror anything. Afterward some of the old er people w ho heard it said we were really married; but we're not, are we? Doting mother Of course not. .re sides, young Smith couldn't support a wife if he had one. Oh, it wasn't that Smith. It was the other Hmith, from (lold City, the one who owns a bonanza, you know. Eh? That Smith! My dear, a mar riage like that lefore w ituesses is bind- ng. Y. Weekly. Bucklen's Arnica Salve. The Best Salve in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, 5-ait luieum. Fever Korea, Tetter, Chapied Hands, Chilblains, Corns and all Skin Erup tions, and positively cures Piles, or no pay required. It is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction or money retunuea. Price 25 cents per box. For sale at J. Jf. Snyder's drug store, Somerset, Pa., or at BralHer's drug store Berlin, Pa. A Safe Place. A Yankee in Ceylon, desiring to take a lath, asked a native to show him a place that was free from crocodiles. The native took him close to the mouth of the river, where our Yankee enjoyed a nice refreshing bath. On coming out of the w ater he inquired of his guide how this locality happened to be free from crocodiles. "Crocodile 'fraid of shark," replied the Cinghalese; 'too many sharks here !" Ueber Land and Meer. Mrs. Rhodte Noun) of this place, was taken iu the night with cramping pains and the next day diarrluiea set in. She took half a bottle of black berry cordial but got no relief. She then sent to me to we if I huil any thing that would help her. I sent her a bottle of Chamberlain's Colic, Chol era and diarrhoea Ilemedy and the first dose relieved her. Another of our neighbors had leen sick for about a ux-k and bad tried different remedies for diarrhoea but kept getting worse. I sent him this same remedy. Ouly four doecs of it were required to cure him. He says lie owe his recovery to this wonderful remedy.-Mrs. Mary Sibley, Sidney, Mich. For sale by Benford's Pharmacy. Finds a Dog Ten Miles From Shore. When the Oraluuu & Mortou steam er City of Milwaukee was ten miles from Chicago Thursday morning on her run to St. Joseph the lookout t-pied a black speck in the water ahead of the steamer. As ila Milwaukee neared the object it was at first thought to 1 the body of a man, and tlie passengers crowded tow ard the side from which to object could be tit-en. When close at lund it resolved itsflf into a large NewfoundlauJ Jgi swim ming dowly, apjiarently lusuiy ex hausted. Captain Stewart had a boat lowered, and, In charge of the mate, it went to the rescue of the dog. The animal was taken on board and Captain Stewart declares bis intention of keeping ft on board the boat for a pet. 1 Tow the doir came to oe ten miles from shore puzzled the crew. The only solution offered was that it had fallen nverlmiird from some vessel, a number of which carry dogs as pete of the crew. Mr. Jam Sling, packer for tit Macbeth Glass C., Charleroi, after two unsuccessful operattuus to straight en his eyes, and an opinion that noth ing more could be safely done, has had them made perfectly straight by Dr. adlcr, 04Penn Ave., Pittsburg, Pa. Had a Eight to Ask. "If any man can show just cause why these two ersons may not lie lawfully joined together, let him uow speak or else hereafter forever hold his peace." Slowly and Impressively the officiat ing clergyman ske th-se words. The solemn pause that followed their utterance was broken by a deep, strong voice from the rear of the church: "May I ask you, sir, to repeat the name of those two persons who stand before you as candidates for matrimo uy?" "( 1m irge Washington Spoonmoreaiid Jopheitita Shaw," answered the cler gyman, aton(hiul at (he interruption "Ooahead with the marrying, rejoin ed the owner of the deep voice, clap ping on his hat and s'artlng for the door, t's all right. I bad ju.-t got here and hadn't heard the names. The wedding I'm to stop must lie in the church a block and a half below hcre." Chicago Tribune." Old Peotile. Old people wlw require uu-dicine to regulate the bowels and kidneys will find the true remedy in Electric Bit ters. This medicine does not stimulate and contains no whiskey nor other intoxicuut, but acts as a tonic and al terative. Itaets mildly 011 the sto mach and bowels, addiug strength and giving tone to the organs, thereby aiding Nature in the rerfi itrence of the functions. Electric Bitters is an excellent appetizer and aids digestion. Old people find it just exactly what they need. Prio fifty cents and f 1.00 per bottle at J. N. Snyder's drug store, Sjmerset or Brallier's drug store, Beriin. 'Or Nutmeg on the Fourth. Tlie glorious Fourth ain't w hat it uster be, iuczinuch er. it uster be ditfunl than what it Is now. The ou'y safe fire-cracker I know uv is the one thet's already exploded. The boy who fill's so much fault with a rainy Fourth gen'ly livs tew fin' out bis mistake. Tliey is .ne day in the year when mos' peopW wUh the country wuzen't so free an' Imb-rtieiidutit cz hat it is. The tooting uv horns is more patri otic an' pleasin tew the ear than the soun' uv some orrertors' voices. This is the time when the small boy has money tew burn; aa' when hegi ts away frum home he is purty apt tew burn all he hex. Puck. Johnny "Tommy Brown's motlxr makes him go to Sunday school every Sunday." Mamma "Why do you say she makes him go?" Johnny "Because he goes." Puck. When j-ou borrow trouble you giv j our peace of mind as collateral. Life. i watch the color fade.i soreness disappear. MiriML About four millions of people in China are habitual opium smokers. It is said that in Paris there are somj 80,000 dogs, or one for every thirty inhabitants-Two million glass eyes are manuf 10 tured every year in Germany and Switzerland. Berry, the hangman, who conducted over 500 executions, says he never exe cuted a teetotaler. Many miners in the Transvaal earu about $150 a mouth and pay one-fifth of it for their board. It has been computed that the aver age growth of the fingernail is about one-thirty-second of an inch per week. The name of the "century plant" is misleading. It blooms, not once in a eeutury, but once iu 10 or 12 years, then dies. A tiny electric light fastened to the end of a pencil is a receut iuveution to enable reporters to make notes in darkness. It takes about three seconds for a message, to go from one end of the At lantic cable to the other. A well-known occulist, who has lieen studying the human eye for years, declares that most great men of the pnt and present have or bad blue or gray eyes. On a well regulated farm the ma nure heap receives more care than any thing else produced. It is a proverb that a farmer eau be judged by the man ner in which he keeps his manure heap. Ants' eggs are considered a choice dish in some couutries. Iu Siam they are within the reach only of well-to-do people. They are the object of an im portant trade iu soine parts of North ern Europe, where they are cooked in boiling water and yield a kind of vin egar or formic m id. To Offer a Reward of 103 Dollars For a ease of catarrh that cannot be cured, creates the jsuspicion that the article so advertised is a humbug. Do you know of any such reward being paid ? Elys Bros, do not promise re wards in order to sell their wellknowu "Cream Balm." They offer the most effective medicauU, prepared in con venient form to use, and at the lowest Issible price, 50 cents per bottle. An honest and effective remedy, which is abosolutely free from mercurials or oilier harmful drugs, a "If llu? truth gets out it will be fatal to tlie Senator's political prospects." "Then why doesu't he have an in vestigating coituuittoa ajjsiuted to look into the matter?" Puck. Two Lives Saved- Mrs. Phoebe Thomas, of Junction Cityj 111., was told by her doctors she had Consumption and that there was no hope for her, but two bottles of Dr. King's New Discovery completely cured her and she says it saved her life. Mr. TliQA. Kggers, 1:59 Florida St., San Francisco, mffrred from a dreadful cold, approaching Consumption, tried without result everything else then bought o;w bottle of Dr. King's New Discovery aqd two weeks was cured, lie is naturally thankful. It Issut'U results, of which these are samples, tust prove the wonderful efficacy of this medicine aa Coughs and lUildd. Free trial bottles at J. N'. Sny der's drug krfV, Jomerset, or Brallier's drugstore, Jteriiu. "Dlggs seems to be doing a' rushing business." "Yes; he has hired a ht f deaf mutes and is running a aiuless barber sbi.". Puck. Feed the Iferves l;pon pure, rich blood and you need not fear m-rvuu prostration. Nerves are weak wlien they are improperly tin! insufficiently nourished. Pure blood U tlicir proper food, and pure blood conies by taking Hood's Sur suparilla, w hich L thus the greatest and best nerve tonic It also builds up the whole ytotn Hood's cents. Pills asrfrt digestion. 25 Collector "This account must In settled, Mr. Shorts. It has been run uiug a long time." "Well, let it stand awhile." Truth. ASKLXGjQUESTIONS. . Is a Woman's Prerogative and She Uses It. It Timely gcatteas awl Prompt Anawrr yfavc Results Ip Great Saturation f o Many Wonirja. sensitive wvinen hate to ask their physicians those del jcatfluettioD:j that only a woman nndertaiids, and there fore write to Mrs, "jCY I'inkham, at Lynn, (rC Mass., as she has JJt CV T-.i jT B S.J their most ac- vuraie auviner, ir and knowing ''Jijsa that their S ieltars. will lie read V- rr' and anwefed by one of their pwa sex. Thousands of such letters have been received within a few months from thoe afflicted jvith the various forma of female diseases, and it is needless to say the answers bava brought comfort and relief. .That sens of dragging in the groin, dull pains in small of back, retention, suppression, of menses, beartug-riHvq pains headache, nervousness, Muck, etc, are symptoms that require prompt measures. The cure is, in most cases, rapid, Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Coin, pound should le promptly taken, and Mrs. I'inkham will furnish any advice required, free. Following is another letter of thanks: " Ilease accept my tlianks for th little book whk-h vou have sent me, 1 1 has opened my eye, and tolii me that there is a remedy for suffer ing women. There is no need for women to suf fer, if they will only take Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound. I suf fered for years with painful menstruation, thinking there was no remedy for it; but after reading your little pamphlet, I thought I would give your medicine a trial, and it is wonderful how quickly it relieved me. I recommend it for all women who suffer with painful menstruation." "-Mrs. Geoboe NaUUUivss, Crittcudon, trie Co., N. V, BEARS AFTER GRANT. HOW THE GREAT MILITARY MAN MA NEUVERED FOR TIME. Threw Tront Proaa tha Wafoa ! Braia's Appetite Tha Bars Wanted Dif fer Game, bat IHtlnt Got It Tha Old HcKaaa Conaty Guide's Story. "General Grant was a great lover of trout fishing," said a guide, "and the frreatest of all his outings was at Katie, McKane county, Pa., in August, 1809. I received a letter late in Jnly of that year requesting that I get everything ready for a two weeks' fishing tour ou tho Gswayo creek. "This stream flows through the north western part of Potter county, one of the wildest forest suctions. At that time I was living at Kane and spent all my time in the woods hunting and fishing. "General Grant usually was accom panied by one or more companions, but this time ho camo to Kane alone. It was then, prior to leaving Kane for Os-wayoei-cek, that General Grant wrote his letter to Secretary of State Fish concerning tho bclligcreiH-y of Cuba. We were delayed 24 hours on account of that letter, because General Grant spent the whole day in thinking the situation over. The general was glad to get the subject off his mind for the time being, as be remarked to me, 'Well, that settles Cuban matters with mo un til I return from this trout fishing trip. "I had tlie general's rod and flies in shape. We got on my old spring wagon and started for a f anuhouse near Sharon Center. The roads were rough, and by the time we had covered the distance of 87 miles we were tired out, and tho old horse lay down. It was about 10 o'clock at night when w readied John Halier stccu's home in the country. He had b-.t'ii expecting ns and assisted in put ting up tho horso and showed us the rooms wo were to occupy. Wo did not go to tho trout elruum the following day. 'Rest is more desirable than trout,' is tlie way the general put it. " While Habersteen was not acquaint ed with Grant prior to our arrival, he was a fast friend of mine, as wo had gone to school together. General Graut soon made a warm f rieud of Habersteen. "The first day's fishing along Os wayo crock was suoaasful, and we ro turuHl with a number of trout It wa. a difficult place to reach, and the pounr try simply aboundi with wild gamo, The general was fond of seeing di-cr go through tlie woods and was not a bit afruid of bears. "General Grant was an expert fisher niau and could whip a streain with any of the pot fishers. Ho would never fish for trout with bait But if t so hap. peutd that he had loet all his flis, he would put on whatever he could find aud coutiuuo to whip tho erreaiu. The two ff ns in five days' fishing caught 713 trout, all good sised ones, We ate some of tlieiu, and the rest were packed in ice to bo sent to friends. "I shall neycr f.irget our return from Sharon Center to Kaiii Wu had every, thing ou the spring wagon, including tho iced trout After traveling about four miles wo passt-d through an excep tionally heavy woodland, and when we were about 2)0 yards from the wmds two bears m;ln their apjs-araiiiv. They trotted along after us at a gait that showed us that th y were gaining on th horse. They evidently ha4 scented tho fish and weVe wishing for a good nieaL "We did not feel much afraid until we came to discover that our guus aud revolvers were 1. ft behind, at Haber steen 'a house, Thu U'ars were gradual ly gaining ou us and it was time to be thinking ubout doing something. " What's to la- dtue in a caso of this kind?" tmerietl tho general. "The only thing I know of is to drive so fast that they cau't catch up,' I replied. But the faster we drove the nioro rapidly the bears ran. '"1 know t. gt away from them, exclaimed Grant. .' We will throw trout to the ground, a few feet apart, and as the bears stop to pick them up we will gain so much by every fish.' "Well, that ' looked like a great scheme. We began throwing the fish out, twj pr three at a time. Tlie bears began to pick thetn p, bnt I'll be con twisted if they oliln'f starf to give the trout the fio by and liasU-u their steps to catch np fo cht. wagon. All the time we kept 'throwing choice front into the rad to coax them bears to qui; the chaa. "We concluded that tho old Jiorse would have to hurry. The w hip was apr plit-d. We lost the bears, and iu the vil lage related the story of the bears fol lowing us to several farmers, who got guus and started aftvf them. "Do you know what those C4Iifounded bears were doing wluoi they found theuij They stopped at the end of the trout trail 'and f"C 9 distance of a mile and a half back hail eaten uctrjy all the trout They evidently wanted big. ger gaiiui, and when they saw they could not get it the? wefujwitent to eat trout The bears were overtaken noi killed. ''At the yitl;nw WP looked to si how many trout we had left To our surprise wn Jid only 250 out of the 700. "w York Press, Lack. "There is no such thing as luck, " said Colonel North tce, "Everybody in this wwld has uhiuus-ryi-s, every, body, from the working collier who strikes a seam of ooai which was never thought of by the mining rngtin-er to the colliery proprietor who gets infor. mat ion regarding that seam and re. solves to work it. What people call luck simply means that a mutt sees his chance, holds on to it and at the right moment works it for hinist If. Luck? Nonsense! Luck is simply tlie faculty of seizing passing opportunities."' The bower bird is so called because several of this species unite iu construct ing a lwer playground, apparently fcr no other purjinsc than amusement The Mookry's Hatred of the Tijuf . rortuuatcly ebado was gaiixd before long, and a troop t f nioukeys indicated tho way our gamo had taken. These of ten aid a tiger huuter, and tho royal robber no doubt entertains scutimeuts toward them on such occasions which are worthy of himself. They do not fall in to ecstasies, as at the sight of a leopard, because intelligence teaches them that in thii case trw-s are safe situations. Still they detest tigers, and as soon as a monkey sees one he begins to !8W,e;if. . This expression is sanctioned by 00m luou nse in India, and it perfectly ex preasffl the apparent tenor of their vocif erations. Each littje creature captrs with excitement and vents ul the exe crations t.f which it is capable. The band accompany his Btcps with revil ings, and when he looks up it seems as if tin y would go out of their senses. Outing. Ill oat rated. "The "burning question," exclaimed Rivers, bringing his fist down hard on the table as he took a fresh start in tha discussion of the labor problem, "the burning question is" "Got a match about you?" interposed Banks, biting off the eud of a cigar and yawning dismally. Chicago Tribune, Riches without charity are nothing worth. They are a blessing only to him who makes them a blessing to others. Fielding. 1 Georgia has 6,363 factory hands, who make annually C8,917,020 worth tl goods. Morality. Infinite toil will not enable vou to RWeen U X UV a mwt lktlt Kv ntiNtnrlinir a I little yon ci-ty often look over it alto gether. So it is with our niorul improve ment We V restle fiercely with a vicious habit, which could have no hold ujMn ns if we uccudid into a higher moral atmosphere Helps. IN HARD LUCK. Twa Hs Who Were Peeallarly Cheated Oat ef Be. Bare Meals. "Yes," said the reformed miner, "I am back from Cripple, Creek, and that is tlie best of my luck. I got away. Here is a sample of the ill fate I had to contend with: I struck the camp without a cent, for I hadn't done any thing but lose all aloug tho line, I hunt ed up Johnnie Costello, and the best he could do was to get me a meal ticket at the Blue Bell one of those 21 meals for $1 affairs and every time you eat they punch a figure. I wasn't long us ing it, and stepped out on the sidewalk containing the first resemblance to a square feed I had held for some days. A gust of wind came down from between Tenderfoot and Mineral hills, where all the puffs originate, aud blew the meal ticket out of my hands. It landed face up on the sidewalk, ten feet or so away, and before I could recover it a big 200 pound Cornish miner steppt-d ou it He wore heavy boots, with hobnails iu 'em, and as sure as I'm a living man the nails in his hi-el punched out the re maining 20 aqnan-s." A similar melodrama, whose plot swung and rattled about a restaurant ticket, had its scene in Chicago. It wa before the days when gold cures offered temporary relief to those addicted to tho ry. One young man, naturally of a thrifty habit, reached a point in his life when he learned that if he bcea-no thirsty he bt came very much so. In quelling this thirst he was apt to squan der all the money he had saved since the last time. So it came that, being philosophic, ho rose superior to bis pro. pensity for thrift and disposed of hia salary as fast as he e:inied it Thereby ho got due and proper action for his money, and also apprwiably shortened tho length of his drunks. Having no reserve fund, he could not coutinue his liquor consuming can-r for long. One Monday he detected the stealthy ap proach of the thirst He had become so wise that he could tell it 18 hours away. It was his sidary day, aud, knowing full well his weakness, the first invest ment he made was in a meal ticket On the Thursday following the next he saw the sun. The interval was part blank and part coufusiou of ml lights, cabs and schooners. He had not a cent in hi clothes, and was as hungry as a shipwreckM sailor. He dug up his meal ticket and went afouud to Calhoun, ilace the r'auraut was aituated therein r but Calhoun place was blockaded. Fire men were half way up tho alley play ing their hoso ou the smoldering ruins of the restaurant Chicago Tinics-IIcr-? aid. ' THE GAME BUTCHERS' WORK. Wantoa Slaughter by Hunters la the Jack oa 11 pie Country, The American Field jumps upa the foreigners who pome to the Unitd btatca, seek out thv localities where most of the big game is to be found, and then Jay themselves down to the work of slaughtering it with ri&'S. A favorite iresprt of these game butchers is the Teton basin, ilere are found elk, deer and antelope, which are being kill ed off rapidly. The Teton basin, Jack son's Hole, is much lower than the Na tional Yellowstone park, and much of the big gauie migrates south to it, as a warmer climate is to be found in the valley. Jt is here that the hunters from abroad congrcgatx, and (u Spite pf the Wyoming state laws kill ganio wanton ly. If tlu-su men would kil a couple of heads of each kind, taking pare tf tho meat, aud following up wounded game, little or no objection would b made. TlH-se hunters, some of whom are Americans, pass through the National park pu their Way I'ltJ'f with wagon loads of ekius and htsnis, f he Jaw in relation to. transporting game reads that "piweelou within the park of the dead bodies or any part thereof of any wild bird or animal shall be prima fa cie evidence that the pfson or persons having the same are guilty of violating this act" With this act behind him the superintendent could squelch the wholesale' slaughterers of game in the region of the Yellowstone, park, accord ing to The American Field1 " paptain Anderson, the sujierintendetit, is urgd to make an effort tp enforce the law. What would 1 better yet would be the annexation of the Jackson's Hole coun try to the Yellowstone park. PLm 1'rpewriteaac.9 It is in commerce that l'Anglicisuie naturally wins its greatest victories. In his Montreal f ftice M. Jean Baptiste employ a secretaire privc not particu her, lik h Parsian rpusinand, to make matteii worse, this official must nowadays be a typewriteur (or type wri tense, as the eusa may be, ) who in creases the demoralization of his native tongue with his "lettres typewritees. " Of courses lltA Freiich-Cuuadiau mer chant has to count his money lu dollars and cents like his neighlsirs, and cent or rt'P'iu long ago displaced sou. The obvious Anglicism nheliu ;ti gone out of fashion with the English shilling, aud is ouly used (to represent 20 cents) by the old market, women and their con temporaries ; and piastre is not yet trans lated into "dollar," but cscomtebas al ready heroine ' 'discount, " and difference has become "balance, " regard c;a of the fact that balance, like bauiuu, is a French word with quite a different meau:'ng.-0nteuiijorary Kt'Tiew. Bujns, Ruins ittsomcrountrh'S indicate pros perity. Iu others decay. Jn rlgypt, Greece and Italy they record the decline and fall of great empires. Iu England, Scotland and Wales tlicy mark aboli tion of feudal tyranny, the establish ment of popular freedom, and the con solidation of national strength. K. An derson. Metaphor, "This," remarked Algie'a new bicy cle, as it inserted him in a soft bank of elay by the roadside, "this is what might be called running it into the ground." Cincinnati Enquirer. Paid For the Pleasure. liming a jouruey pf the Einpcror Jo seph II to Italy the wheels of his coach broke down ou the road, so that it was with difficulty that he reached a small village at a short distance, Ou his ar rival there his majesty got out at the door cf the only Llacksmith shop in the towu and desired him to repair the wheel without delay. "That I would do willingly," replied the smith, "but it being holiday all my men are at church. The boy who blows tho bellows it not at home.'.' "Aii excellent method then preuts of wanning 'pueaclf,1' replied fhe pni: pcror, who was unknown" to the smith, and he set; abou blowing the bellow While the blacksmith forgtd the iron. Tho whoe) being r paired, Q soli were demanded for the j h, but (ha oropcror gave 6 ducats. The blacksmith returned them to the traveler, saying, "Jsir, you have made It mistake, and, instead it 6 sols, have given iut 6 pieces of gold which tut one in the village cn change, " "Change then when you can," said the em pen, stepping into the carriage, "An emperor should pay for such a pleasure as that ef blowing the bellows. " Talent. The world is ulways ready to receive talent with open arms. Very often it dta not know what to do with gniing. Talent is a docile rreuture. It bows its bead meekly while the world slips tlie collar over it It backs into tho shafts like a lamb. H times. Kaw beef proves of great benefit to persons of frail constitution. It is chop ped fine, seasoned with salt and heated by placing iu a dish of hot water. It as similates rapidly and affords the best nourishment Young doves and pigeons are fed with a sort of pap sccreUd by tho parent bird It in necessary to the existence of the squubs. They die without it OMKHSKT MARKET RKlOKT, COBBKCTKO WKKKLT It Cook & Beerits, Wnlnciulfi!, April !ft JXti. rper bu ADulra dried, f 1 Hie , , vi u a lie Apple Butter, per aal.. liter, roll. 1 roll. pr s Butu-r.v frrsh kTf, pw t.. . lic (crwonery Heeawax. ner V ... per lb , JT -i -country ham, per SV . 8 to Ijc 1 tuirnr cured hum, per t ...! U u 1 nl.le, per t 7 U sc . lioufd-r. per t 7 toss . t white navy, per bus -.. , tl- Bmn"- 1 Mnia. i- r tiuee, j r,MHU-I. WT a, la to AM , riven, lie , , ... , jt'ui.ilM-rlund, per bbl 11.50 Cement J pirtlHn(1 perbW 00 rornmial. per i tlain, per Jul T. : ... :bt)i nun. utae wrnort w i.ij llin'T. white clover, ucr t I V lrd, per ft to'Hie Mine, per ll ' l Mnla -a, N.O., per gal Onioiia, p-rlii ' to.'oe I'ola.ixit. jar bua. ........... .....J t I'mclie evaiairntrd. ra-r ft Id to Lie 1'ruiM-a. i.-r t 10 to l.ie I V Y.. per hid 1.10 I .llMIIT, la-r Idil I .US halt. I .isiiry, bua aucka . -i j " ) " . :c , 4 una aacaa.. -i.t. I rround alum, lwl tia-ka. Wc uia I-, ia-r . stole i imiiortt-d ye ', rer B. Sugar, i white, A. pe t se kntiiuluted, per K Sc I cube, or pulvrrixed, per t-.-.sc u i per aal .- yrup. J,lulp"r, p,.r jul att toOic Ktonewun-, kHoii se Thlluw, rerfc - S Uiie Yliicitar. la-real J) U w .luiolby, per ua li w clover, per bus $j.00 to 6..4I Seeds. criniMin, per b la 4 uu M alCalfa, p.r bus s.al aUvke. irr bum 7.."al Millet tlerman, pw bua l- lairu-y. wblte beartiie a, per uua !.. buekwlii-at, pt-r bua :i"a- t iini. ear, per bua to 4-a- Gntio shelled, per bua....S to 4.a- Irwta, per bua 'Si U -a rye, vt bua ..- ." A Feed 1 wheat, per bus 7ie bran, per H I c corn and oats chop, per lw ts s flour, roller pna-eaa, per bbl... fl.7" " apriiiK pnU-ul aud fcowy hish arade H-l Ui H .25 tlour, lower vntde, pi-r 1 a) Sal tll."i Flour. ... . ... .. i Willie, per l' Middlings, j.m B1 we PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD. CaaTIHN STANDAMO TIMC IN EFf EGT MtY 20, 1895. OOMDS.KSKD SCBSDCLB. Trains arrive and depart from the station a Johnstown aa follows: WESTWARD Western Ex proas... , t3 a. m. Southwestern Kxpreaa JounatowD AnruiuiiKalallun... Axxuiiiuuuitlun. Pacific Expn-aa way laaeiiger....- Mail KaHl Line Johuatowu Accuiumot!atloii. 6:m " &.J 10 " -Mt 3M " &1S iot p. ro. KASTWASP. Atlantic Fxpreaa...- Hea-ahore Kx press AlUMMia Accoiiilinslalion.. liuv Kxpreaa . S.-04 1 . 5:40 :40 ..IDilS Main IJne Exnrea lbana Acviuuiulutiou.. - Mail Kxpreaa ;., Job llloa n Acniln mialuthin: Pblladelpbia Expreaa .:r.,.,. Fat Hue ,- Jil Til 46-a) For rates, ma pa. Ac call on Ticket Agents or addreaa Tlios. at. Walt, I. A. W. D., Jill Hfta Ataiui.. Piltaliunr. lal 8. M. Previa. I, J. B. Wood Wood, Uen'l Paaa Ag ura. Manager. CONDENSED TIME TABUS. Baltimore and Ohio Railroad. Somerset and Cambria Branch. SOKTBWABD. Johnstown Malt Expreaa. Rockwood 70 a. SU.. Someraet lloveatowa 9:Si, Hoov eravllle:0,Johntown 1100. v Johnatown Mail Kxpreaa. Rockwood 10:50 a. m.. Honieraet 11: In, styeatown 11:43, Hoov ers vllle lUr, jphnatown p. ni. Johntown Accoinmodutiun. Ka-kwiHd iixl p. in., Soiuerx-I : sto eatown 41:5a, Uuov erKVlHeT.Vt, Juhustowu 70, Dally. sorruvAsp. Mail. Johnstown 7:40 a. m., Hcaiverevllle a.Ai. Ktoyestoarn t:H, bouieraet tbU, Rockwood :3i Express. Johnatown 3:30 p. in., Huoreravtlle 3:IH, HtoreaUiwn ti'Si, butuerset iH, Mouk. wood 4:fc, 8unday Only. Johnstown l:W, Fcnerset 10a? Rockwood 10:5. YOUR EYE! We want to catch It I EVERY FARMER in Somerset County who has a cord of Hemlock Bark or a llidetodispoeeorwm And that the COS FLUEXf K TASXERY Co., pay tha highest caah prices fur the same. Writo for quotations L WIXsJLOW. COBB Jt Ca, Confiuenc, Pa. Salesmen Wanted on Salim-.-to sell Pennsylvania rnwn Xur aery SUa-k. whk-h U th best is tfiseerM. All the new aiiectnltte aa well aa tbe atamlnrd rafie-tb-s of Fruit! & Oraimcntilf- A flne ontflt fur. nlHbeii anil all traveling expenar piiiil. Kila ry ilatea fn.m day work is commenced. Write for U-rnia, atatlng sse. Hoopes, Bro. &. Thomas, staple Avenue Nurseries, West Cheater, Pa. THE 0NLY PERFECT FOR .FAMILY USB. For Sale By J. B. HOLDERBAUM, Somerset Pa. YOU CAN FIND mp'Ir .d ftia is ilmM'rn at lb Alan mnr hnraaa el w UEZ REIUNGTOIT BROS. 'he Vul soutract lur sdnruaiaa si luwaal nas S ten y THE stls None Too Good When You Buyi . It is Just as FRESH, PURE DRUGS, A it is To Ilate Confklence AT SNYDER'S You are alwayt sure of getting the CarefUU TRUSSES FITTED. All of the Beet and Most Approved Trusses Kept in Stock. Satinaction Guaranteed. , ox OPTICAL GOODS. GLASSES FITTED TO SUIT THE SIGHT JOHN N. Somerset, Louther's. Drug Main Street, Somerset, Pa. TlusHcdel Dmg Stcreis Rapidly Beccning afe Favorite with People in Search cf FBESI . AND . PURE . DBUGS Medicines, Dye Stuffs, Sponges, Trusn Supporters, Toilet Articles, Perfumes, &c. THI DOCTOB eiTKS FBaSOSVAL 4TTHTIO" TO Til C0arOC!D156 nr Loitlier's Prescriptions! Family Recsiit eSIATCAU BBJitOTAKKM TO CSS OSLT FKH UD KM ABTirXBB. SPECTACLES, EYE-GLASSES, And & Full Line of Optical Gooda always on hand. From large assortment all can be suited. THE FIHEST BBAHDS OF CIGARS Always on hand. It is always a pleasure to display our coc to intending purchasers, whether they buy from us or elsewhere. J. M. LOUTHER 171. D. MAIN STREET - - SOMERSET. FA Somerset Lumber Yak elis CTJisnsniNrGiiA.M, MascrAcrraca aho Dkalcb asd Wholbsalb asd Retailbb or Lumber and Building Materials. Hard and Sotfc TVoocls Oak, Cherry Poplar. Sldlnc. Yellw Piae, FIrtng;, fihn(1es, l1Mr, WhltrPne B1bb, A general Uoeqf all grades of Lqmtter and BuilJlng Material and Bufina-TrLale kt : stock. Also, can fUroUti anf tning In the line of ourbuaineas to order with ratios i tile prumplneas, snob aa Bmoketa, oddlse(l,wark Jelc. Elias Cunningham, Office aid Tart Opposite S. C. K. K. PREPARATIONS FOR The Great OF SOVKMBER S ARK ALRKAPT WELL FSPER WAY. . , PRESIDENT of the UNITED STAT IS TO UK KI-KI-TEP, A?P THB NEW YORK WEEKLY TRIBUNE will, as alwava, 1 futiml in the thi k-t of tlie fight. U viRoroualy for .S'timl Hu.m . i-iWi'.s which pitipfri!y l-t the aii'n. The .Y. IV.ct H'. fiy TrifHr la rnt only the IrailinK lU-ail pajHr of the CtHUltry. but la prfrminrmtljf t a-ift"'''-.' nftxpoftrr. Its campaign news and disii.ons will interest every .1 ran citizen. AM the news of tbedny. Foreiif" CorrespnJeiice, Agr-1' al Department, Market Reports, Short Stories coinpIt'Sf a ' niimlier. Comic Pi-tres, Fashion Plates with elaUr:iie tions, anil a variety of items of household interest, mukr -Ideal Family Paperl A SfJCL'IAli COXTIUCT epjea us to ofler tbLs opleridi journal a;:4 The . Somerset . Heral ONE YEAR FOR ONLY $2.00. CASH IN ADVANCE. SUBSCRIPTIONS MAY BEGIN AT ANY TIME. AddreHH ail orders to If rite yoar mm ! 4Jrct a postal tirJ, enl It U Heo. W. Bt, H' Trikne BBildinr, Jew Tsrk City, at4 taaiple espy rTBe.V Weekly Tribise will ke Bailed ta job. IT WILL PAY YOU TO BUY TOUR 3feuiorial Work WM. F. SHAFFER, ManuLnotucvrof and Dealer In Eaalern Work Furnished on Short Notice mm m mini mi Alao, AgrutVor the WUITK BRONZE ! Persons In nerd of Monument Work will find It to llx-ir lnt rvt to rail at my shop where a pfxpr showing; will be given tbeni. as-hatWfactlou guaianirrd In ever? caar, aad I'rictrs very low. 1 iuv lie nx-vLul attention to be WfiiU Bromt, Or Ptfs 2 rc h'cttntit rodueed by Tiv.lk I 1 1 i i .! mprovrmrnt In tbe polut of alatrilal sod ,1'onatrut'tioa, aad whtrb tadratiard to be tbe popular Monuiuent for our rbasgtabl I'll male. Uiveusaeall. M,. f. SHAFFER, BEST Important to Becure ' in th rhyrtcian Who I'rt x m a t Them gitw'-- freshest inedlclnea-PRESCRIPTir,v DOt- Ja5 sa sw V Compounded. EYES. CALL AND HAVE YCll tl TESTED. SNYDER, Pickets, MDl.4 Rah. Star Rail Balater. Chetaai SUtlM, S0SEKET c 1 i i THE 1 1 KHALI j tssm BT PSiCTICiLLT IiljstmCull! Over eoo Beautiful Doalcna. 4 i MONUMENTAL BRONZE CC maisoxpcmz. cc s x. I i rlloeoi Store A Battli EEEK3 cza iff lil i' I 1 1 TL S 1 90 ; 1 50 W , akso9 i jrC . tiiCvn H A Office at 5" Ff Oiflca m Uoa& v. a. k ruaura u ouuU-a. lis utiurl T i Aisu IUu i r01LN u3: pr rastr.l uj T0JLX Ji win tt eanrlu . SUoat, ata. TA.ME GOre In nila. eau lrgai buall aua taelil A. J; CUL i A !t buaii proiapUjr i boos iiia.l. rf S'uul 4.a ud rc H. WHI pni SOUltint. reenive pn a. cof OFF! All busii: Speedny al Ou M.uu Offloe ou Chun-h. iht calls D1L p i " Tsi.lera I rim ..f s.,1 ilia Cnav Ortlaf on T9t l,.p, t B ill of .xoi wMnnaliy ton Mai li. J ifc. fa'i Ail eii.kii, in ii it u O. H. f H AX1 Jilxi CDil o Atlantic i uutuut t Ir I Iiimina Tteanbe lJgecu j Prod If yo I for ours l
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers