The Somerset herald. (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, January 04, 1888, Image 1

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    flie Somerset Herald
ISTABUSHEO WW.
of Publication.
WeilwwUy rooming at 2 W
pa'
if paid in advance ! otherwise 84
.-juim.
,1U he dtawoUnued until all
we paid up. Portmaer tie letting
-ibe tifld rwpoouUe lor the iubacrip.
7igaortnf from one pos" -
K the name the urmr
office, Addreari
II . .
SOMERSET, Pa.
bumereet. Pa.
(lt(T. .ttb A" H. J. oi-
c Rcorit' Block opuunu
t, in i"
" Bmnerw. Pa.
II.
Somemet, il
- r. TKKVT;ii;v. w
s.
... - sjnfml r.
f J. 1 1. 1' " - ...
J. 1'KITTS
, aituk:
HL r'AATT.KNEY Ar J.AW
A (Somerset, Pa.,
, .. i somen. hu.I adjoining 1"n-
wiViu"n- .
W. H. Kvn-Ei,
, C..ITS.TH.
. Til A RlTl'KTU
it MI II K K NTZ.
.."A.imc - Coun
t-itijir.
l)'iV.ATI.W
.... v.,,.-,,.- emrwt o ear
A- ' " , ,.mi.ii.;.ie and fidelity.
rrjniAr . j. -
V.hnokYmmkk.
;.T.f riJT '" .
" Somerset, Fa.
uYiw "'" made, estate
rr;,',D u'.' ill. pn.nipuieaud nd. iitf.
IT. L c C0LM"-
(J Arr..KNKYS-AT-LAW.
SmitrrHt. Pa.
;i i.rMiiigad C"uvr-nciii aunt on !-
ATT.-K.NKY AT-I.A.
irm-rset. Pa.
!v.ui.tv aa4 IVii'in Afrrnt. 0 in Mammoth
Hi.
t'i.kmim: hay,
ATT..KfcY-AT-LAW.
' Nrtnoret, Pa.
I wlrt in K.! ti'e. 'u'ud f n
t,,;!:. ,J J!,iAi"i u Ui wiu pn.H
mKlr.y.
TuiiN n. nil..
fl ATMKNFY-AT-LA.
J SBDierwt. Pa.
!' !.r.iri.ilv tli.1 to all bu-itiw
v.h:m NiiuVaHamloncotlitu.c Uf
.t l Maiiuu.ih B-k.
Dit. F . KI1AIS.
PHYi-lUAS AND SI R'.K'N
Miivrwt. Pa.
Off. io C4 4 Btit" Blk, !kwudrk'r.
I)
j. e. r.nKc kek,
MIYSH IAN AND WKGEOS.
M kKFT. Pa.,
V ,1 ). Pr..f.nl wnw Ui the citiienf f
s'a.!a trinity. iu Pot
D
i:. II. S. K1MMKIX,
r. . . vi. .f.i...l .r ir to the riltlBPIM
M s.'en'aiMlVHiiiity. I '"" 'n.K"lly
w,! hf i-.i, it r..uud at iii "tb'v ou ilaiu
Ij. .ii liim..ul.
I)
k.h. r.ui:nAKi:u
l-rrfert hi yin.f..:oiial Kriw ti the ritien
'D.fTVl SHU ViriUHV. IWriH iwiuvum
DH. J. M. I.i'l TKFR.
l iiVSU IAS AND M lU.KtiS.
K.v i--nnm ntly in ftniii'Wt t" lh
p-HniiT ..i bir n.iMiu. tyticou Maiunrrel,
I)
U. J.S. M MIl.LKN.
hi- k. CI-hUalI.
Du.ji'HS r.n.i.s.
(- ur--tin. in Co. k A Bct'titf Klork.
I)
H.M 1T.
ti i f-rt.ij-i a; mi X:mv prt'!r,1 do all kindu
" w.arh tiiliiiK. ivjiiilir.. exinMliuif.
Ealf-ria.: irwrnii. Ail wrk fHrtTiiUv4.
D
R.J. K. MIL1.KR
H- i"HTK.v.i:r lxnii ii in IVTlin fi tho prac
"i h pn.i...Hu. tlli( oppitt; 1'harlea
SonKrft County Dank.
(fTAJLtUl.D 1T..)
C.J. HARRISON. M.J. PRITTS,
PmiF.5T. Cachiib.
C.i'.lfTi.fl. n;,it ai; j-rt f he rnit.3 State.
CHARGE MODERATE.
UMiiM to rni monn W ran he ac
e!!tt Kt tmn ua Nr Votk m any utn.
L' ' ',-llm" ttie ub ttfnHne?. l Hondw
..,t. d..;ii-v and valuat.h mnwl
t" .4 Im.-i...1 - ;, tmu-.l !.. llh a
K " time U-t
fi r mat ymwyw
"A!1 Lmul liu'.iiUTt olarrvMl
CURTIS K. GROVE.
SCMEpSET, PA.
Bl'.'ilf. slTKiHS. CARKIAiiES.
M'klNi, AMiNS. P.IVK t AW1SU.
ANi EAi-TKKN- ANI JTLR.N" whkk
Fun;h.i oo Lort Notice.
Fr.nting Done on Short Time.
5 rk i. n,,.),. , of rv7t, Vn.W U'ood,
ate .( r,, ,tlM .vf. rTihantialiy
C.:metnL Vtiy F:nirlw4. and
a-Tuniro b.give Salncliuo.
Crly F;stCjss Tcrfcaea
Miri:w All Kin, j. Jit Une Pone oa
iyi,, k&AM 'N VBLK. at4
All Work Warranted.
,U 4,4 tsAmiiw my fcu k and Leam . V
aU-m . rf-t ...it . I. c: U 1..
CH-mt- Ui. place, and call in.
CURTIS K. GROVE,
Em of Court House)
KfKltrr PA
QlUKLKs Ht .KKMAX,
MERCHANT TAILOR.
A'.Hre H.fficj' Suit,)
Htvlw, And Lowel Tria.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
Somerset, Pa.
The Bomorset 'ri
vol. xxxvi. xo. no.
1888.
Harper's Weekly.
IbkUSTrATED.
IIakpkk' Wkkklv lias a wUHWtablislii
I'lmr ax the Icailing illiilr.mi1 neKpaer in
America. The fulrlii-s of its etlitiirial ottt
mcTitK on current iitics luu ranietl fur it
tin- Tvr.il and txnti lfiice ol all iinanial
rraijt-r. ami tlie vari'-ty anl f icelantr of iw
liirrary contfiitn. liii Ii im liiile serial and
slHn utttricn ly tbe lnt and most rj.ular
nien, tit it for the perusal nf pplr cf the
iiltr4 ram.- of ta.tw anil umit. Supple
ments are Irnmentlv tnvi.inl. aiul no ex-
ei.se iy ".iv.l to l.ri tiLt the highest oni r of
amtir alnlily to Nr upon the illustration
of the chaiieiul plia.T of home and foreijjti
hiMory. Jn all itc fcture H tsera's W'kek
I.Y i a!mirah!v adplei to be a weluxuti
mat in evvrv houKuuid.
HARPER'S PERIODICALS.
Per Year:
HAItPKK-i WEEKLY 00
HAUTKK S MAfiAZlNK. 4
HAKPEK S HAZAB - 4 W
HAKl'Ki: S YUCNCJ l'EUl'I-E. 2
I'tatn'ie Frer to nil mhnTihrn in tli Viiitrd
States, t'unmiti, ur Mtjiso.
The Volume of the Weekly Jvin with
the tiixt Nuni!-r for Januarj- 4 rarh year.
When no time i men!itMii. Kiiliwriptions
will Imiii with the Nuinln-r current at time
ol rcivipi of order.
Hound Volumes of Ilarjier' Weekly, for
three year l.a. k, iu neat clotii hiniliue. will
1 snt hy mail, xt;if:e paiil, or hv express,
frt of rs:-iie (provided the freifhl does not
ctmii one dollar per volume,) tor 7.ou T
volume.
Cloth ca." for each volume, suitable for
iiiiidiiii.'. will I sent hy mail, poM-Jiaid, on
nvipt if each.
lUniittance shouhllie madehy lYist-Oifice
Money Onier, or draft, to avoid tiiam of
yrn-9jfitTt rtrr n-tt to cnpi thi iff "crfinr tcrtA
ia fA. StrrM tinier tf ihtrjer 4c Itntttwr
Address.
HAKJ'EUi r: ROTH EKS. New York.
1888.
HARPER'S YOUNG PEOPLE
IN ILLUSTRATED WEEKLY.
Hakfkb Ycr I'boplb interest all
youmr rxaiers hy its carefully Melerted varie
ty of themes and their well-considered treat
ment. It coniains the !l s.rial and tihort
stories, valuable articles on sniinilic stihjta
and travel, liistoriml and hkvjrnii liii! sketch
es. iers on athletic sfwirts and pam.s. stirr
ing poems, etc.. contributed by the brightest
and most famous writer. Its illustrations
are numerous and excellent, lici-asional
Kiipplenients of esecial intrnsit to 1'an-nts
and Teai hers will he a feature of the forth
coinin volume, m liicli will comprise fifty
three weekly numliers. Every line in the
acr is subjected to the n.ost rijrid eilitorial
scrutiny in onler that nothing harmful may
eiiler its columns.
An epitome of everythiiiif that is attractive
ad desirable in juvenile literature. Bvt
t 'mirier.
A weekly fiast of pio.1 thinirs to the hoys
and irirls in every family w hich it visits.
lirtf tiltr Vnin.
lt is wonderful ill its wealth of pictures,
information, and interest. Aew York Ckritt
utn Adwertfe.
TERMS: POSTAGE PREPAID, $2.00
PER YEAR.
VoL IX. begins NoTember i, 1887.
SjKvimm 0jy tent on rco-iyf of a ticrxrnt
Single Numbers, Five Cents Each.
Hemittances should leiitdcbv Post -Office
Money Order or Draft, to avoid chance of
loSS.
Xetmpajiert art nnt to cyy thit (fcitvrfiwwnl
witkixU the erpraa order of Ilnrftr t Brothm.
Aldnxs.
HARPER i BROTHERS, New York.
iSSsi
HARPER'S MAGAZINE.
ILLUSTRATED.
H .tarn's Magazisk is an orpan of pro
irnimvctboafrlit and movement in every de
partment of life. Heidc other attraction,
it will contain, dunm; uie cominc year, im
ixinant articles. stnerblv illustrate.!, on the
iniit Wesl ; articles on Aimriiwi and for
eign iinliisln- : beautifully illustrated pn
Ss.tland. Norwav, Switzerland. AlKi-rs,
and the West Indies; new novels hy Wil
liam ISlack and . 1. Howuls; novel
each complete in a sinsrle iiuinlw r.
hv llcnry James. Ijifcadio Hnim. and
Amelie kivt : short stories by Mis Wool-
sou and oilier popular writers . and illustra-
til iapers id s :al artistic unci literary in
terest. The eilitorial IVirtments are enn
durtisl by tieorpe Wiiliam Curtis. William
Lean Howell, and Charles Dudley Wamer.
HARPER'S PERIODICALS.
Per Year:
HARPERS MAGAZINE.
HARPER'S WEEKLY-..
HARPER'S BAZAR
HARPER'S YoUMi KB'U'LK
... 4 IA
... 4 0J
2 00
"f.i Frr tn nil nitrrflrt in the Vtitfed
CaanHti. or Mrrko.
Tlie volume of the Mtr.tr.iNK beriii with
the Numliers for June and December of each
year. WIhh no time i sjiecitied, sulicri
iion will bepin with the Number current at
time of receipt of op ler.
Bound Volume of H tarn's M t-itzirtt,
for three years bark, in neat cloth hnulm.
will be w-tit hy mail. piwt-pui.L on rert'iiit of
:( im per volume. loth Cases, for binding,
.Hi cent each by mail. it-Hid.
Index to Htaer.a Mauaxisb. Alhabeti
cal. Analytical, any Classiifietl, for Volumes
1 to "o. inclusive, from June. IV), to Jbne,
1H.H.-I, one vol.. vo. Cloth, W .
R-mittanoe Rhonld he made hv PnsM'Hfice
Monev rl.T or lirafu to avoid chance of
loss.
rrrjaiien art twt to c;. thi ndrtrtimml
vitttvut tht vqirm otiltr ol Habffk Bw.
Addrt HARPER BROTHERS.
New York.
FASHIONABLE
CUTTER and TAILOR,
Having had many
in alt hranrh of
the Taiinrinr bn
inMi. I piarmntee
miMIaJtii4i to alt
wao aaar call np-
hi bh- iuu ntvur
m with their im1
iLaufUae.
Venn, fcc.
WIXUXM JC WXHSTITTLER. fc
duMKBhCT, Pa.
WORKING CLASSEisTISl?;
are now prepared to mrnish all elaw ilh em
plovaieut at home, the whole of Uie time, or tor
Ibelr frt moraentt. Bnuw new. lurbt and
pnMUaUe. Hersou of either sea eswily earn fnm
Sir t.' per evening and a proportional sum bv
devoting all tbeir time to the liusurw Boy and
girhi earn nearlv as murt a men. Tliat all who
ne thi may eo'd ibetr addme and ls the bra,
neat, we make thw crfter. To nch a. are a. a well
Attsoed we will ed oe dollar la pay foe the
tr.ul.ie of writing. Pull parlieolar and outltt
Adams baoaaa btmwuw
1st 11 Ila,T-WTI(I
Torpid Liver
knnum by thrtrr ftcmarkabU PecuKariUni :
. 1. A feeling of vearineM aod palaa In the
limtMi.
S. Rmi breath, bad tat-te in the mouth, and
furivU ViMiirue.
S. Ctjunipaiiou, a ltb ooca.Hknal attacks of dl-
arTbw-a.
4. Heuia'!he, in the fhm of the hfd : nau
Mrn, iliuiutMi, and yellowness of skin.
5. Ilearttrtim. Inwuf a(oetit.
S. 1'pwH-niHm of the stomach arid bowls hj
wind.
7. iKMirx-wion of wpiritw and yrvat melaiHblr,
" -tTTi laoitude, and a diptnitiuA to Wave
everj Uiiiig fr lo-tnairroNr.
A mtttnUpyv qfbtir from thr Lbrr is e$ntuU to
good Hnti'JL. When this ia ut4rueted it rvul in
BILIOUSNESS,
which, if ntirif-ctcd, arvm lead to rti diwaj
ex. htnuuim Liver kefOiiaiof eseru a mnrt ft'lic
ii4Mi iitrlut-ncT (Tr rvery kind tf hiliuuiMiem.
It rpfitMVfi the Uver to imw worjitnpf onlrr,
reuialt th i-vcrvtion nf bile and mi the diirt
tie onrau 'a in tnich condition that thjr 'M.n do
thfir bt work After taking thia me-hcine into
one will say, i am oinoua.
I hare btn tnib)ect to screre prUn of Con
gtioB of Ilie Livtr, and have been in the habit
of ukine fn.ra loto20 frraiits of 4timcl which
f't-Uf raliy laid iiicuitir threewfimrday. lte
y f have hern Utkinr bimuioo Liver Kernlator.
which mve me r-iicf wiihmt any interruption to
buhine-fc, J. Hvm, Middlvport, Ohio.
Ii. Xeikn cf Co.
HOLIDAY
SUSPENDERS.
Iut np one pair in a an, Plain fSntin
and Moire, alxo Richly Embroidered.
Holiday Fancy Nightshirts.
The Best Line of Patterns we have
ever had.
HOLIDAY NECKWEAR.
New niade-np Mliapea, Four-in-IIandTies,
IViws, fcc, for all occasions.
HOLIDA Y OllrOVES.
For la.Iit and Gentlemen, all the latest
colors and lengthx, for every occasion.
I10LIDA Y SILK HOSIERY.
Refrntarjand Opera Lenpths, Black and
Plain Colore and Fancy Patterns, en
tirely new designs.
HOLIDAY APRONS,
A very handsome line of Plain Tuck,
Embroidered and Diamond patterns.
Holiday Handkerchiefs.
Every kind, (tiality and in large quanti
ties, and, of most importance to buy
ers, EXTR A AND BEST 'VAL
UES everoflered in handker
chiefs, Silk and Linen,
for Gentlemen.
Hndkerchiefs. Plain and Embroidered
for Ladiss, and Handkerchiefs for Chil
dren. Come in every day and look aronnd.
HORjSTE & AVVRD,
41 FIFTH AVE., PITTSM RtiH. PA,
It is to Your Intrest
TO Bl'Y YOl'E
Drugs and Medicines
.or
Biesecker & Snyder.
St'CfBKS TO C. Jf. BOYD.
None hut the purest and liest kept in stock,
and when lirups heeomeSnert by stand
iiiK, as certain of them do, we de
stny them, rather than im
Kiseou our cust.mers.
You ran depend on havine yonr
PRESCRIPTIONS & FAMILY RECEIPTS
filled with are. Our price are as low as
any other first -el as house ami oil
many artick-i much lower.
The people of thus county seem to know
this, and hare (riven us a laiye share of their
patmnae. and we shall still continue to give
them the very bt fMsxl for their money.
Do not forget that we make a sjiecialty of
FITTING- TRUSSES.
We guanuitee natisfiuiion, anL if yon have
. had trouble in this direction,
give ns a call.
SPECTACLES AND EYE-GLASSES
in trrcai variety ; A full set of Test Iajiik.
Come in and have your eyes examined. No
charge for examination, and we are confident
we can suit yon. Come ami see me.
Respectfully,
BIESECKER & SNYDER.
Something New and Cheap I
0.KlOfi()oiOOXololtXKHHoiKOllOotil
" A PESSY SA VKD JS A fF.SyY EARXEP,"
U a motto you can verify by calling at the new
Boot and Shoe Store
OF
JOHN G. SANNER,
NO. MAMMOTH BLOCK.
I have ia stm-k a Full and Complete line of Sea
auoaule tiuuu at Attractive Price, eon
aslitut in pan of
BOOTS, SHOES,
GAITERS, LEATHER,
FINDINGS, dC., AC.
I have the Celebrated WACKEXPHAST SHOE
the Best and Cheapest Gents' 8hoe made. In
Ladies- Shoes
I have the Flnert Line ever brought to Somerset,
at Aiouishlngly low Prices. A special Invi
tation b extendi. ucall and ee these femda.
My abick of g1. awl the prieea at m hlrb they
are wad, eaniHa b aunsvied. 1 imom-ntjule
work and renairing a is?ialtT. Call and see
my Mock, aod you will certainly find )oat what
yoa want, npwmuiy,
JOHN G. SAXFfR,
No. ft, Mammoth Block. . Somerset.
y f T T rn hve at borne, and maka
f fill more money al work Uw a lhaa
T I I I I at anvtbing elae tn the world.
X V KJ Capital not needed. Yoa an
tarted free. -Hth exe: all atea. Any oaeeaa
do the work. Larre earning, sure from the stan.
Only ootflt and term free. Better wot delay :
em Tn. aotbina to aewd aa roar addn and
nd not if vea are wmt. rott will 4 to i
K. HaIACTT UOl, rarilaad. IU. dacOJjr.
SOMERSET, PA., WEDNESDAY,
THIRTY-FIRST ANNUAL
Session of th Somerset County
Teachers' Institute.
FUU TEXT OF THE PROCEEDINGS.
MONDAY EYEXUsW MSstOK.
(cosnxfED raoM last week.)
Muwc.eong, "Tlie Bells of Time," try
Miss Maggie E. Dotta, of Montgomery
County, Pa after which slie recited the
poem entitled "The Bobolink.' Miss
Dotts is not only a vocalist or elocution
ist, but has a method of her own, render
ing the roost difficult passages in a man
ner new to the ears of oor people. After
this the County Sujierintendent intro
duced Hon. Will Cnuiback in' his lecture,
" The Invisible Some People." He said :
Txi'licii and Gmtlniunf If I wished
only to amuse, I need only to quote some
of the things that Itave been said regard
ing the lecture that I propose to deliver.
On one occasion a church had bought a
building and put a large mortgage on it,
and after they had done so they found
that they must do something and decid
ed to institute a course of lectures, and
they tallied me to deliver the first of the
course ; and w hen I came they called on
an old deacon to pray, anil he prayed
very well and very long, saying, "O,
I-ord, bless the lecturer who has come
to sieak to ns on O, Lord, 0, Lord, O,
Lord, I don't know w hat he is going to
talk on."
There has never been anything that
had a name, that if you come to consider
why he was so called, would not be
deemed to have the very best name that
could have been given. All the invisi
bles of the barbarians are deemed to be
superlative. In making the transforma
tion from barliarism to civilization, we
simply transform the invisibles into the
visible we remove the witches from the
mind of man. Cotton Mather, of Massa
chusetts, defended w itchcraft, and in his
book he gives a very fair description of
the witchcraft of our own time. If the
devil was the author of witchcraft it only
proves that the devil, like everybody else
improves with age. Until the last hun
dred years no portion of the human race
was free from the domination of witches
and witcbcralt. The more learned the
man the deejier he dived into witches
and witchcraft. Luther, the ereatest
mind of the ages, was a believer in these
things, and when a friend visited him,
and hearing some noise, Luther said,
" It's only the devil, and he is a frequent
visitor."
Luther at one time told the story that
the devil hud appeared in court as a law
ver and conducted a case through court
with the greatest propriety. The men
who take the advanced steps are the men
that will be denounced. No witch ever
came with a blessing fur man ; the w itch
es of our duy come to destroy man's rep
utation. In the old days if a man were
accused of a crime they had only to
bring a charge of witchcraft against the
chief witness, and they gained tfceir case
by the mere accusation. In our day if a
man wishes to secure a divorce all that is
necessary is for him to bring charges
against his wife, or rice rri.
In old times when men had a quarrel
all that was necessary, was to bring such
a charge. Now you hear men say, " Peo
ple say so and so, but if you hear men
say so, you can conclude that they have
been amoirg the w itches. If they can't
get at the truth, they can at least hold
their tongues. Perhaps, more than one
hundred thousand jieople have been put
to death for the crime of witchcraft a
crime that never had an existent.
While the old witchcraft has destroyed
one hundred thousand persons, the mod
ern has destoyed millions.
The modern witchcraft may lie divide!
into two kinds : the foul-mouthed slan
derer and the unthinking tattler. The
former are generally found among men
and the latter among women.
I have had the experience in my own
family.
A very fine lady called, and the con
versation drifted on a man, and one of
them said " But they say he drinks.''
Finally I interposed, and said, "What
do people say aliotit our neighbor, Mrs.
M ? and she said " some people say
she talks about her neighbors."
Men are generally instigated by malice.
I have known men in mv experience
that would not only defame their neigh
bors, but would swear to it in Court. Ev
ery lawyer knows this. Cross examina
tion develops that "some people say so."
A cross examination generally develop
the fact that the witness is ready to de
fame all his neighbors if he can.
If the account of human life is faith
fully kept and the items placed on the
proper side of the account, men will
stand correctly in the future.
The slanderer belongs to no sect or
class of society. He is found everywhere;
in every church : in every party every
where. A Yankee hotel keeper was expecting
to entertain toe members of the Legisla,
ture in a western stale, and after he had
done all he thought he could he conclud
ed to put up a card, and did so, reading
thus :
" Loafers in this LoteJ are requested
not to associate with members of the
Legislature ; for it is exceedingly difficult
to tell the one from the other."
We can beat the Jews and Pharisees.
There are many churches in which ias
tor and people are engaged in a constant
tight against Pharisees, and any such
church that promises people peace and
comfort will find it-lf unable to keep
the contract. Our modern invisibles at
tach themselves to any church. We can
not keep them out, Tliey will come.
" Politics" is the most inviting field for
the modern witchery. There is more
scandal ia politics than anywhere else.
But men are always fonnd regardless of
political asphyxia, and they will take tlie
candidacy; regardless of consequences or
slander. If those invisibles would be
driven oat of the charch and out of poli
tics, onr earth would be whiter than it is
now. i .
Human friendship calls forth the bit
terest efforts of these modern witches.
But this demon-like agency can general
ly array friend against friend.
Where is the heart that contains not
some frightful prejudice? It is the orig
inal power of genius that pots the wheels
of progress in motion. Sorroonding the
human is the invisinle power the mod
ern witchery ready to torn all of good
intoeviL
In Persian Mythology, they say that
eyerything was created holy, pore and
ESTABLISHED 182
good ; but Ahriraan came and turned all
into evil.
This modern witchery ia the Abriman
of modern sooiety.
Some slanders are not pnt into the
mouths of the people until they go into
the newspaper.
A newspaper can do more to damn a
man or a woman than a thousand, or ten
thousand slanderers. If the editors would
send tha greater number of the anony
mous communications sent them to the
waste-basket, it would be better. Josh
Billings has said, "It is better not to
know so much, than to know so much
that ain't so."
When a Japanese has been guilty of
slander he plunges a sword into bis own
breast and dies." Jf people in this coun
try had such a custom the business of
the undertaker would be the great busi
ness of the country, and fast hf irses would
be in demand for attehilauce at funerals.
I saw in a Wisconsin newspaper an ac
count of a secret society, which bad a law
in which they provided that any one
slandering another would 1 expelled,
and one brother Smith was charged with
'handling the truth in such a manner
that it was not consistent with veracity.'
Herbert Sjiencer uses large words but
the mere fact that a man uses large words
is uo proof that he is moro than mortal.
A Surgeon General at one time concluded
he would dissect a lie, and said he had,
and he said a " lie is the result of a dis
eased embolus frombosus consolidosos"
I suppose it is true.
The need of the hour is such a quick
ening of the moral sensibilities as will
put the slanderer out of the camp, as the
old Israelites put out the leper from their
camp. My position is that the true lec
turer must teach us that we shall raise
rnun to a higher plane. As the poet says,
" Love is the Holy Ghost within
And hate the unpardonable sin ;
Who preaches otherwise than this
Betrays his Master with a kiss."
After the lecture several announcements
were made, among others that ' Wailai-e
Bruce being sick, Colonel Sanford had
been secured.'
Miss IVitts was again introduced, and
sang, to the great delight of the audience.
She was eneortd and appeared in another
song. Miss Ella Musselman played the
accompaniment on the piano.
TI ESDAY MORXISG SESSION.
Institute convened at 9 a, m. Many
teachers examined the work of the vari
ous schools of the county, which was on
exhibition in the grand jury room. Much
very excellent work was shown. It is
probable that the finest exhibit was from
the Somerset schools, though Meyersdale
presented some excellent specimens of
genuine free hand drawing, not tracing.
Session opened by music hy the choir
and Institnte.' Reading" TCe Scriptures,
followed by prayer by llev. J. F. Shearer,
of Somerset. Music, by the teachers.
Discussion" What should lie the aim
of onr local Normal Schools? " opened by
S. D. Elriik. He said :
1 don't feel able to discuss the question,
but I shall try to name a few points that
ought to lie aimed at by the teachers of
these schools. The first aim should lie
to make better and stronger teachers.
There are places in which better training
can be had, but we must remember that
such places cost much money, and we of
Somerset county lack that very matter of
wealth. Had it not been for our county
normal, most of us would not be here to
day. We w ho teach these schools, should
aim to make better teachers.
Levi Lichliter said : The great aim in
education ist awaken the latent energies,
the slumbering faculties. One great ad
vantage in having many such normals is
that they awaken the dormant energies
of the community.
Fred Grof was called and said : I think
I know what ought to be the aim. Our
local normals have been held for the
purpose of preparing teachers for exami
nation, while the aim ought to be to
make teachers out of them, to teach them
how to teach.
J.J. Stutzman said : I fully agreewith
w hat the gentleman has said. To make
teachers we must have the chance to
drill teachers in the way of teaching. It
would cost to do this, but doesn't it cist
more to have teachers trained by years
of practice in the schools. A man isn't a
first class teacher because he carries a
Gist class certificate. The certificate is of
scholarship, and not of teaching ability.
Queries: "Should higher graded
schools have recesses?" Levi Lichliter
said: There can be much said on both
sides. On the whole I think, Yes.
Prof Maltby Think there should be
recess.
J. A. Dvrkey says : We have no recess
in the Somerset schools. My predecessor
began the plan. I think that the recess
is a waste of energy. Yhen I went into
the schools last fall, I asked how many
wanted recess, and, not a single hand
went up.
Prof. Maltby was called, and discussed
" The Heart." He said : " I want to call
jour attention to the form the heart takes
in the lower animals. . In the depths of
he era is a little aninud called the tuni
cata. (The lecturer drew a representa
tion of the animal, its heart, circulation,
etc., and gave an explanation of it, which
is omitted, because without diagrams,
the matter would not lie plain to readers.
The entire lecture was upon the subject
of Physiology, and was rendered exceed
ingly interesting by means of drawings,
colored by the lecturer as he drew
them. . . I
Music, by the teachers and the choir.
Illustrations in Teaching, by Dr. Horne.
He said :
The subject oMHustrations in teaching
is a most important one. We have the
highest authority for the use of illustra
tions, no less than that of the Savior, for
we are told that without parables he did
not speak. We have just passed a Christ
mas season. The Christmas tree is made
use of to show children the coming of
Christ . We have the example of all the
best teachers. Pestalozzi, whose influ
ence will be felt for centuries, followed
the plan of illustration. Bring in the ar
ticle itself aa far as yoa can. Dr. Benja
min Rush said more than a hundred
years ago that the first thing teacher
should do on his first day in school is te
teach them what to do in case of fire.
Coal oil lamps are dangerous, and the
more so as they grow empty. The speak
er illustrated an explosion by means of a
little ether and a bottle, and by means of
ether and water 'showed how a flame
may be -eYtiitgnigbed by smothering
it Illustratioas may be used every
r- j, t r- : f? n
JANUARY 4, 1888.
where.' Make children learn from prin-
ciP,e- . i .
The ' year did not always begin with
January. 1752 was the first year that be
gan with January, and this by act of
parliament.. Always before, from the
time of Julius Caesar to 1751, the year be
gan with March. ' The signs in arithme
tic, for instant plus, minus, etc. Plus
means nwre, or the same as mid. The
sign plus is simply a shortening of the
sign, and) by making it a cross in the
hurry of writing. These seem like little
things, but they are illustrations of the
subject. Take the word "eccentric";
show them that it simply means from
the centre. So " disaster " simply means
a broken star, and we have it from the
ancients who imagined that some star
governed onr actions ; if anything should
hapjien to the star, it was a disaster.
Fred Grof asked " How many teachers
could so illustrate these matters?"
Dr. Horne replied that he introduced
these things to set teachers to thinking.
APTSN'OOS SBSS.IOS.
Institute called at 1:30 p. jc. This was
the most crowded session of the County
Institute ever held in the court room of
Somerset County. Persons that received
standing room deemed themselves fortu
nate. Many persons, ladies, gentlemen
and teachers, left the court house and
went to their homes, because the entire
building was blocked by a surging mass
of humanity, each individual of which
was to the highest degree uncomfortable.
To attempt a connected report of such
a meeting, was to try to accomplish the
impossible.
Nobody was to blame for this state of
affairs. The County Superintendant bad
done all he could to enable everybtxly
to enjoy himself, bnt the County court
house was built at a day when such
crowds were not know a in Somerset
County.
The appended program was carried out
in detail and after what was doubtless
the most uncomfortable afternoon spent
by any one present, the Instititute ad
journed.
The following was the programme :
Discussion : What branches are most
neglected by pupils in ungraded schools?
How may they lie interested in them ?
Opened by W. H. H. Baker.
" A natomy ." Prof. Maltby.
" Literature in our common schools."
Prof. Om. C. McClelland.
"Pure English." X. G. Keim.
" Illustration in Teaching."-Dr. Horne,
Announcements:
Music Miss Jean Glenn.
Reading. Miss Maggie E. Dotts.
Lecture. "Walks in Rome." Col. J.
P. Sanford.
EVENING SESSION.
The County Superintendent introduced
Miss Jean Glenn, of Mercer, Pa who sang,
Miss Ella Musselman at the piano. Miss
(ilenn was loudly encored, to which she
responded playing the accompaniment
on the harp.
Miss Dotts recited a piece entitled
" Aunt Jemima's Courtship." Miss Ikitts
was loudly mored, to which she respond
ed and said she would try to recite
" Sockery Setting the Hen," after which
Col. Sanfonl was introduced in his lecture
entitled, " Walks in Rome." He said :
Travellers find many people that they
like as soon as they see them, and others
whom they dislike at first glance, and
they can't tell why.
I once went to a point in Asiatic Sibe
ria, and all that 1 saw was the sun at
midnight. I travelled into Abysinnia,
and could tell all that I saw that was
worth seeing in fifteen minutes.
As you come near to Rome, you first
see the remains of old aqueducts, remains
of the Ctesars and the Pompeys. You
may travel for sixty miles nnder ground
and never lie out of reach of a grave.
Imagine that you have entered Rome
and we intend to make a journey of about
two and one-half hours,visitingSt. Peters
and the Coliseum. This great building
could seat 80,0X1 men, and not encroach
on the arena in the centre.
The name palace comes from the Pala
tine hill at Rome. ?i0,0ti0,000 were spent
here in palaces. I saw pavements which
an architect in New York informed me
he amid not make for less than $:X) a
square foot, and there are millions of
square feet in Rome.
I saw Angelo's painting cf Moats. I
heard a man say he would not give any
thing to hear Ingersoll lecture on the
mistakes of Moses, but he'd give a hun
dred dollars to hear Musts lecture on the
mistakes of Ingersoll. This picture looks
like a man that could lecture on any
body's mistakes.
Here we come to a sudden revolution.
Have yoa never found men that you
deemed as gods, and then heard them
say something so mean that yoa could
sink into a knot hole for them. Yoa start
to St. Peters throngh narrow streets, and
you see beggars all around smell breaths
freighted with garlic; but, by and by
you come to the end of the street. Here
you come to a stone an obelisk brought
from Carnao, in Egypt, Whittier has
said, ' The saddest words of tongue or
pen are these. It might have been.' I
think that the greatest emphasis that
can be put into language is to be found
in the words, JirM Utite,
One time I was broke on Lake Super
ior I found a half dollar, I picked it up,
I tested it, then I dropped it and went
back and found it again. Have you ever
noticed that when yon read of anyone
the first time yoa imagine be most be
very large. I need to imagine that my
Aunt Polly must be 40 feet high. When
I saw her she was a little bit of a woman
with a snnlT box in her hand and plenty
of snuff on her face, and she said : "Jim,
don't you want to kiss your A nnt? "and
if there was anything in the world that I
didn't hanker after, that was it. If yoa
lose a five dollar bill everybody's ready
to help yoa hunt it, but if yoa lose a five
dollar hat and it goes ricochetting
through the streets nobody tries to help
you catch it, but the least boy will say,
Run old latty, y oall catch rt." :
It is a principle with men that when
they are sold, you immediately try to sell
somebody else. St, Peters looked Very
small to me. A clergyman named Dai
ry in pie asked me how high it was, and I
replied "about 30 feet." Said he, " Yqfj're
a good guesser it's 170 feet high." Go
and stand in the fluting in yon column,"
and I said, " Why, I can't stand there,"
bat when a went I fo nud there was room
for eleven others the column was 33 feet
around it. Everything was. utterly de
ceptive, k v U ', ' '" ' '
i Bt PtHert is; so isa.rse.nse that regiment j
eraM
after regiment could be marched into it
and drilled. I have seen more than
60,000 people gathered in SL Peters, It
could not be duplicated for 60 million of
dollars. It occupied 190 years in build
ing during the reign of nineteen Popes,
and finally finished by Angelo, one of
the meu that we regar 1 as having been
made by God to show us how grand a
man he could make.
The Vatican is thegreatest building on
earth. There you can find anything on
earth, or that ever was on earth. It is
the world's grand store-house, reaching
back more than 4oD0 years. . Lost arts ;
Damascus steel, carved guns, mummies,
anything in the world. There, too, yoa
can see the greatest paintings!, that man
has ever executed.
Don't hide ignorance behind the idea
that people can't understand yoa. The
trouble is they can generally understand
too well. Many children's picnics are
spoiled by giving the.children logic in
stead of lemonade.
I want to mention a few paintings.
There is Raphael's painting of "The
Transliguration." A million of dollars
could lie readily obtained for that paint
ing, less than seven feet square. The
figures are flesh and blood and bone, the
clouds are the very clouds that you may
have seen, that I had seen in Palestine
a few weeks before.
Then we see the Modunna. A Madon
na in painting is always the Infant Jesus
in the arms of the blessed Mother. Tiien
there is the statue of the dying Gladitor.
Yoa feel like pulling out the arrow but
the statue was executed 2000 years ago.
Then there is the Laocoon the old man
and his two boys being strangled by two
snakes. They won't allow you to carry
your cane in there, for fear that you may
forget yourself and strike at the snakes,
TUn't true that man can do what man
has done. On the tips of my fingers I
can count the names of earth's grandest
mountains. So on the tips of my fingers
I can count the names of earth's grandest
men.
The God that scooped out the oceans,
sometimes raises up a man that
towers above his fellows as the mountains
tower above the plains. The reason that
such paintings are not made now is be
cause that God's plan is not to raise up
such men. I should like to go over the
churches, galleries, etc., but I cannot. I
have never fonnd a place where an
American was compelled to humiliate
himself. In St. Peter's at Rome is a
statue of St. Peter, with an immense
bronze foot which the kisses of human
lips have worn thin."
Music by Miss Glen" See the Tale
Moon."
WEDNESDAY HORSING SESSION.
Institute called io order, and after mu
sic, devotional exercises were conducted
by Rev. Appleton Bash, of the Somerset
M. E. Church, reading part of the 19th
Psalm, followed by prayer and music.
County Superintendent Berkey an
nounced that 244 teachers had been en
rolled out of a possible 261, only thirteen
being absent, of whom several were
sick, after which the various committees
were appointed.
Discussion : "Who should determine
the studies to be pursued by each pupil
the pupil himself, the parent, or the
teacher?"
Opened by O. W. Williamson, and fol
lowed by J. A. Berkey, of Somerset. The
latter thinks there should be more legis
lation. But there is a difference between
graded and ungraded schools,
Levi Lichliter thinks the school law
provides that boards of directors shall
map out a course of study.
A. C. Holbert made a few remarks by
permission, and was followed by Joseph
J. Stutzinan.
titeries : " Can the 2d of January be
considered a legal holiday ? The County
Superintendent decided no.
"Does the magnetic needle point
north?" I. Horne: "Not exactly."
The IVx-tor explained at full length.
" Literature in the Common School."
Pmf. M-X'Ielland, of Washington and
JetTerson College.
A most interesting talk on general read
ing and literary culture, bv A. S, Flani-
g-in, of Continence schools. Mr. F. is a
young teacher, and was graduated from
the California, Pa., State Normal School.
He handled the subject in a masterly
manner.
iAicture, " Respiration." This talk oc
cupied more than an hoar, and was ac
companied by experiments. To attempt
to give the talk and not give the exjieri
ruent that brought out the talk would
In' injustice to the lecturer, and would
also be a waste of time. The Lecturer
was most highly appreciatedet'y the en
tire audience.
"The How and Why in Teaching" by
lr. Horne. This was in the Doctor's
best style, The crowded state of the
house prevented several of the lecturers
from doing themselves full justice, so
far as being heard was concerned. L'nder
the circumstances they surely did nobly,
and their efforts were fully appreciated
by those that were in reach of their
voices. ' Xot5 books were freely used by
the teachers.
; Continwd on Third Pant.)
The Millennium Still Distant.
, Ohio Man Are yon Henry George the
great philanthropist ?
Henry George Yes, sir, the millenni
um will
" I know all about your scheme, but I
have abetter one which I wish yoa
would take hold of."
"Eh?"
" Yes, sir. Yoa see I live along the
east side of Lake Erie and I have been
thinking of this thing for years."
" Yes, my theory was the work of a
life-time, too. What is it your purpose
to dor
" My plan was to drain Lake Erie and
live on the fish."
" Oh, that won't do won't do at all T
"Why won't it?"
"I don't like fish."
A Minneapolis woman was fined ten
dollars for breaking her umbrella over
the head of a street masher, but the
public sent her over two handled
dollars to pay the fine with. She ought
to distribute the money among one hun
dred and ninety other women and let
tbem clean out the pests, Detroit Fre
"HACKMETACK," a lasting and fra
grant perfume. Prtce 25 and 50 cents
Sold by Geo. W. Bentbrd A Son.
WHOLE NO. 1003.
Look Here, Girls.
Among the vast number of memorials
presented by the provincial officials of
China, few are more enrionsto western
eyes than those praying for imperial
rewards for persons who have performed
in some conspicuous manner their duties
toward their families or kindred. In a
recent number of the Pekin G-izt-t' the
Governor of Hunan province requests
the bestowal of an honorary patent on a
ayoungldy who "since her childhood
has been devoted to her books and is
imbued with high ideas of duty." The
youth to whom she was engaged having
died, she gave way to violent grief, which
nearly cost her ber life. " Her mother
reproved her an 1 rescued her from death
by impressing upon her the duty of
bringing np a child to continue the suc
cession to her husband." She went to
Canton (.where he died) to invite his
spirit to return, and to offer oblation to
his memory, and she is nuw waiting un
til one of her husband's brothers is mar
ried in order that she may adopt one of
his sons and thus continue the line of
succession. She is now 24, " and fully
resolved to lead a single life, and be a
rare example to her sex."
The Governor expresses his sympathy
with a girl of distinguished family who
has been so suddenly deprived of the
light of her existence. "Hers is not a
Case of merely remaining unmarried fur
the ten years prescribed by 'he Yiching,
but, in the language of the Odes, siie
has vowed that until death she will have
no otiier."
In the same issue a magistrate and
military officer are d.graded for behead
ing a prisoner who was sentenced to be
hanged. The offence is one of blunder
ing recklessness beyond all possible jus
tification, and every one concerned is
severely handled, although the officer
excused himself on the ground that the
soldiers employed at the execution were
drunk.
Dickens's Philistinism.
It is difficult to say where, in Dickens,
the humorist en. Is and the satirist begins
but there are in his works whole classes
of character in which the satirist evi
dently predominates. His method of as
sailing social and political abuses is to
make them ridiculous and hateful, and
he makes them ridiculous or hateful by
impersonating them in men and women.
We quote them as we quote a jest or a
bright saying not as characters, but as
epigrams endowed with individuality.
His humorous parsonages spring from his
sympathies, his satiricalones from his an
tipathies ; and antipathy never gives us
the whole and inward truth about any
body, but makes us aggregate the trait
we dislike until the individual is all mer
ged in his particular defect. The popu
larity of such characters in Dickens is
due to the fact that they reflect popular
prejudices, and never go beyond that
perception of externals which is our easy,
iutolerent way of judging the people we
despise or detest. The intellectual limi
tations of Dickens are also revealed in
his satirical sketches. His heart is devel
oped out of all proportion to his brain
The abnes of a system blinds his eyes
to its merits and its purpose. He is a re
former, but a reformer whose common
sense is unacconianied with comprehen
sive intelligence, and whose moral sense
frequently imieis him to be practically
unjust, From " In Dickens-land," by
Edwin Percy Whipple, in the Christmas
number of SrAner't Miyjazirv.
The Large or Small Cow.
Whether the large or small cow is the
most profitable on small farms is a dis
puted question. For our part we like a
good cow whether she is large or small
and are better suited by quality than
size. The larse animal consumes more.
and should yield an increase of milk and
butter to compensate for the extra feed.
We saw, not king since, a statement in
which the extra cost and possible profit
and loss were.very nii-ely calculated, and
the balance seemed to be in favor of the
smaller cow. We do not lielieve there is
much difference in profit yielded by an
individual cow of either class, if they are
good siiecimens of their kind. We be
lieve good keep makes the profit in all
cases, be the breed what it may. It re
quires a certain amount of feed to sus
tain life and keep up animal waste ;
whatever additional projier nutritous
food is supplied will, in a g'Hl cow. go
into profit in mi!k and butter. The ad-viN-ates
of the larg-- cow urge that there
is an increased value in such stock when
it comes t ijthe butcher ; but this Ls not of
much inequence, fir such beef does
not have a high market value. Select
whatever kind we may for the dairy, if
we consult our profits we must look for
the one that makes the best return for
her keep; all other considerations of
size and weight are only of minor im
portance. The lest cow at the milk pail
will be the best breed for the owner.
F'trm and Garden.
Bills In His Desk.
Pretty Coasin (in a young lawyer's
office.) That is a beautful desk, Charley
Young lawyer (complacently) yes, it is
convenient. That pigeon hole, yoa see,
Maud, is marked " Bills Payable," the
next "Bills Receivable," and
Pretty Cousin What a quantity of
" Bills Payable."
Young lawyer Well-er, yes.
Prettr Cousin And the " Bills Re
ceivable" hole is quite empty.
Young lawyer1 Er-a-a-well, I haven't
got the desk fixed up yet, Mand.
Pretty Cousin Oh !
One Liar In the Family.
" Yoa love my daughter T said the old
man.
"Love herl" he exclaimed, passion
ately. " Why, sir, I wonld die for her!
For one sr.ft glance from those sweet eyes
I would hurl myself from yonder cliff
and perish a bleeding, bruised mass
upon the rocks two hundred feet below.
The old man shook his head.
" I'm somewhat of a liar myself," he
said, "and one ia enough for a small faro -ilv
like mine,"
A " belled buzzard" is again circulat
ing over middle and west Tennessee.
Owing to the mortality of the cattle,
caused by the drought, he fills a long it-It
want.
The world eonld not go on if people
gave np labor when it became irksome.
Dakota Railroads.
We were driving past a Dakota set
tler's house he came out and said :
" Surveyin' 'nother railroad ? "
"No."
" Ain't? I sw'ar I told thejdd woman
we got to move ti.e house again."
" Had troubl with the railroad sur
veyors?" '
" Yen been snakin' my house 'round
all summer. First some men came along
in a buggy, set up some long slim,
barbar-pole-look in' sticks. Stock np
three-legged dufunny, humped down an'
squinted throngh it, an' then says they :
" Old boss, you've got to move yonr house
"bout four rods, 'cause we're giin to run
the track of the DakoU and Gum Wood
Fork railroad right through here."
" So you moved it? "
"Pulled her right out o' the war.
I ain't the man to hinder no public
improvements '. Then some more come
along an' squinted an' peeked 'round, an'
says they : " Mister iraner, we're sorry ;
but we'll have to trouble you to yank
your house 'round 'bout six r!s to the
south," I uta.lt) a bee aud yanked
her."
"Didn't that settle it?"
" No, In 'bout a week I caught some
more men squintin', an' railed the boy
and we put jack-screws under the house
and then asked the fellers where she
should go. 'Jea' haul her "bout a quarter
of a mile due west, old man,' says they
an' fore night me an" the boys had her
hauled. I left the wheels right under it
that t.me an' told Ike not to unyoke the
oxen."'
" You didn't have to move air.tin ? "
" Yes, but I did. Next Jiornin' 'fore
we was up 'long come a committee from
twn an' condemned the house au or
dered me to move it inside of ten min
utes to make room for the Great Ihikota.
an' North Pole Route. We hooked np
an wasa-uakin' it along while my wife
got breakfast, when down caiue a big fat
man with half a dozen double chins, an'
liegun giviu' me hail Columbia fordrivin'
'crost the right o' way of the t treat iHtko
ta and l ishkosii road, an' while i was
poiindiit' the oxen the Sheriff threatened
to arrest me for obstrnvtin" the depot
grounds of the Great DikotA Open-Air
Blizzard Line. I j-s man;nrel to git my
house off onto a piece o government
land and then set an' watched the sur
veyors cumin on the run for the next
week."
" Iridn't any of the roads build ? "
"Oh, no; they tell me down town that
they all got their stork sold to Eastern
speculators, so there ain't no need of
buildin. Whew? but you orter see the
little pine stakes tuk in my place ; you
can't walk 'crust it in the night 'thont
fallin' down faster than you can get up.
Chicago Tribune.
He Had a Bug Paralyzer.
Mrs. Itollinger moved the other day.
While waiting fur the dray the furniture
was scattered aliout the yard. She was
looking critically at some spot in the
varnish on a bedstead, w hich was lean
ing against the house and wondering
what would remove them, when a young
man mine along on the sidewalk, stop
ped and began tumbling in a small hand
satchel, as he said, in a loud clear
voice :
"Ah, madam, I arrived just at the
right moment I was never more op
portune. I am selling a preparation here
at fifty cents a bottle which will knock
'em every time."
"Sir!" exclaimed Mrs. Dollinger,
"Sir, what do you mean ? "
" No offense, nia.lam : no offense, I
assure yon. You needn't lie afraid of
it, because you see it is warranted to do
iU work they can't live when it is
armnd."
" You are insulting, Sir," returned
Mrs. Iollinger, with wrath, as she no
ticed some Df the neighboring women
putting their heads out Uie window
cautiously. " If you don't go away I
shall call a policeman."
" No occasion for it, madam, no oc
casion whatever. You see we're all liable
to have 'em they will get in, ma. lam
probably were here in the house before
yon moved you're nut to blame. But
there is nothing permanent 'em, madam,
when you have my "
" Sir, if you don't go on I shall scream.
"Don't do it, madam; don't do it!
As I was saying, yoa need some of A
tonisher and Paralyzer, or Housekeeping
Made Easy, and it will fetch 'em at one
application. Take the bottle thus mad
am, and apply with a feather guaran
tee"! no to injure the most highly polish
ed surface. No necessity fur resorting to
kerosene, corrosive sublimate or jabbinx
'em with a sharp stick. I notice some
sjts on your bedstead, madam evi
dently been trying to drown 'em out with
hot water. That plan is crude madam,
remarkably crude.
One Lottie of my Astonisher and Para
lyzer, of which I have the honor to le
the inventor, patentee and manufacturer
applied with a common hen's feather,
will do more toward ridding the premi
ses of 'em than a whole Niaifara of hot
water, if I may lie allowed the expres
sion ! Don't depend longer on trying to
harpoon 'em with a fork, I beg of you,
but invest the small sum of ah, going,
are you?" he continued asMrs. Dolling
er flopied into the house with her face
very red well, good day, tben. If
you're bound to live with 'em I can't
help it ; but I think the other ladies on
this block look at the matter quit differ
ently. Then he went and sold twelve
Uittle before he could get out of the
neighborhood.
So He Will Go Free.
First Lady Juror There seems to lie
no doubt that the prisoner murdered his
wife.
Second Lady Juror Yes. isn't he aw
ful handsome ?
Third Lady Juror Tit poor fellow
hasn't had a single bouquet Sent to him
to-day.
Fourth Lady Juror But yoa know the
ladies weren't sure he was guilty.
Fifth Lady Juror Of course not; they
didn't hear half the evidence.
Sixth Lady Juror If we bring him in
guilty what will they do?
Seventh Lady Juror Hang him.
Chora Horrors!
Eighth Lady Juror Why not say sec
ond degree.
Ninth Lady Juror Then they'd im
prison the poor man fur life.
Chorus Horrors ! '
Tenth Lady Juror It wont do to bring
him in guilty at alL
Eleventh Lady Juror I'm afraid not.
Twelfth Lady Juror Of coarse not ; if
he is locked up we can't any of as marry
him.
" George, dear," said the girl, "do you
ever drink anything ? " Yes, occasion
ally,' George relurtantly admitted.
But, dear," she went on anxiously,
" what do yoa suppose papa would say
if he should discover that the future hus
band of his only daughter drank?"
" He discovered it this morning." " O,
George, and what did he say?" "He
said, Well, tieorge, my boyj don't care
if I do." -NVir lot .-wit.
France will shortly issue 70,000,000