II vs ft -v"?r' i tjC Somerset Herald. ESTABLISHED 1827. 1Vrms lublication. p, n-hed viy Wednesday nio-uiiu- at t2 00 annum. If Mid in anvanee; vine-wise t-' ou .; .i.w-K chartred. ,wilTi',inu 'H' discontinued null! all f are nii up. Postmaster neglecting ill be held -epouible for the subacrip- tioD. Mcriliei- removing from one portoffice to an- di..uld give u the Eme of the fortuer W011 the f1- 'Adlre Thk SlMERKET Hf.raiji, Someksjet, Pa. r . cnk. J. B. O'Coskoe, Vx'ixANt tinny w V . srtnifrwl. Pa., and r'rauklin atroet, tl'f i,ut'i'. jot'""""'. '- . rvyv "w". 1'dESECKElt, X somena. Pa. m iniyjK li- sculi, 1 i 1 AlH KN EY-AT-jji W. Somen'!, l"a. T ATlXiKNEY-ATLAW, Somerset, Pa. i J- ATTUHNEY-AT-LAw. Somerset. Pa. II KNPSI.EY, ATTOKNEY-AT-LAW. ' bonier. Pa. Sl ' TK1ATrC.KXEY-AT-LAW. Somerset, Pa. Al. ATTOKNEY-A i-LAW, somerset, l a. in smcrwl County Baik. Hi BAEK. ATToKXEY-aT-LAW. Somerset, Pa., ,.r rti.f ill Somerset and aiholninif MHin- T A;i'i'''-i 'llmsU"d lo lim 'u rvCKiye jln'upt attention- . ' if'CH & Rl'PPEL, I , ATTKXEY( AT LAW. tmienM-t, Pa. i-i hu-n..- ruiru-K-d K) th- ir care iU be V', MiiK iiiHlly ait.'iidiHl t. Ona-e on 2" . r -ir -el .Mte MaiHiuoUi Bluck. ATTOKXEY-AT-LAW, ' ' buiufrmi., Pa., a Mi irivc pMiiijrt attention tolmsliniw entrnxtol V ,' run- in S'lm-rxt and adjoining rountira. fj'',.; iu iTtntiiig Hum Ruw, Miait the tit DIAMS MKYEllS. A1TUKXEY-AT-LAW, Srturs4-t, Pa. .r. i,.t,i Ihimihw eutn-tl to bis care will ! - , ,1 ." in itii irintin' and ndciily. mutt H.'vaiii i r.w suwt, next dour to J. ii. Bnyder k (r. More. J . fllMIL'T ATTUKX EY-AT-LAW, boiaerxet, Pa.,, , .u,.,l to all liiinus. entnistod to bi care .. mr-it mid e-tyniii(ruiilM. itn l-rompt-,.i iu-iitv. titlK on Main t fttrwt, ,'u- kihcr liuok More. J ATTUKX EY-AT-LAW. Smit'PH't, Pa. f.. in VHinmoth Bl.H-k. up stairs. Entrance u (Tow l-in Collection made, estate titl examined, and all Ik1 buine at t,wvd to lib roiu)ine! and fidelity. T77- L. C CoLBoRN. KiLlUtUN & (X iLl?tKN, I ; ATTX -KXEYS-AT-I.AW. Siwnenet. Pa. ill trti:ni- entnite1 to our care will be vi-Mivaiid failbnillv attended U. follwtions i" S.iii'-i-l. Kediurd ami adjoining couu t,rt sunc iii and conveyanciug done on rea niuibie tenuii. HtNUY. F. SCI J ELL, ATTUUX EY-AT-LAW. SituerBct, Pa. B..-jr.tv and Penrioo Agent. Office in Mammoth B,i. ' VALENTINE HAY, ATIUKXEY-ATIW. ' Suiuenet, Pa. 1 IValer in Real Ftate. Will attend to all h,;.;uj eiitnimed u hia care with prouiptue w: lulility. thiin" ii. mi, J AlK'K-X EY-AT-LAW, SouMiwt, Pa. Vill nronintlv attend to all husine entruhtd ti-b.ni. Money" advanced on cuUectmua, e. Ut fo hi Mmoniolh Blmrk. DP F. A. KHOADS, PHYSIUAS AXD K;EON. SoBKTWt. Pa. (. in took A Bei-rita Bl-k. tond Klour. D ,U. J. E. F.IEKECKER, I'UYSH 1AX AX (-UKtiEUX, gOJIEBtT. Pa., T .lii bit- tinional nerviee to Uie eitiaenf of s-i:i-et and virmuy. ofliee iu l'ost oBiee huiilii. Eiit of Uiauioiid. D U. H. S.fKIMMELL, t... a.-, t.;. ..n.f.i.M.i -L-iceK to the rilirens f MlriM ami vicinity. I'll lew j.rofesfiouully tvuKl he chii I found at hi ofliee ou Mam at., lui of Inmij' Hid. D IR.U.UH115AKEK TnH hik i.r..fixiin-l Ul the rttlrclia & Mffletwt and vii iiity. trflieein retideBccou Uu, rwt et of liwiuond. I) HWM. KAI CH ;rii'Hi HI H' it 'itiiiiw i-i m v r ... ------ o! Mim rxt au vuiniiy. Ofliot in JJt otlice -u.-liiiK. I)' l E. W. P.UiUvJH, B'E'AT1I1C PHYSICIAN ANI Sl'RGECiN. T.ii'l.n. hih MTvic to tlic pei'le of Woiihti ai.d viniiitv. t all in town and country pnanpt l stvtutcd to. n lie found al oltiee day or t'-ci.t . unie pmfewionally cngajred. u(li on "'iiiii-M corner of liiauiond, over Kneper Nm store. DU. J. M. IXtl'TKKU. Furmrrly vf Hpritrmm.) . 1 HY1( TAX AXD HfRCiEON, Hw li.iil permanently in Humeraet for the Jiniiii-e ul hi, pmtiwiou. tiflieeon Main street, ii. rw ul Iiriui more. TV ,U.J. S. M'MILLKN, iiivw n-.-ial attention to the pntaTvatkm of tin- iiaturiil tivtb. Anitical xti lii-erted. AH wrii,,ii. (Timranuvd baUi.twlory. mlioe iu Baer ti I. ui-:r. DU.Jt.iUX IHI.IA HE.NTIPT. tnr uintalrj in Oook . BoerlU Klock. DU.WM. (XtLl.lNS, I'EXTltT. itT iu Kiiepiier'n liUn k uji-itira. where be i t fci-jiui at 11 tiim pn'ircd to do all kinds u ts nu b an tiiluiK. rennlalinir, oxtraetinit. - An nua! leethwf all kind and if the bet Kffi. uunTied. All aork piaraiitevd. D R J. K.MILI:it ii i.rmaiieiit!y ba-aU-d In Berlin for the irae ' "( in priHiniou. trau-e opiile C'barlea soit-rf..'t County I3ank. ESTAitLlsllEtt 1XT7.) C J. HARRISON. M.J.PRinS, l'H-Kll.KKT. CAHHItM. fi':i"tiu. made in all part of the Vnited Mate. CHARGES MODERATE. rtnWai.),,,,, to m ud money Wert can lieae ("""'"'leil bv draft on New York iu any num. '"'limn, mmlr with proniptnew. I'. H. B-anui "tout and -,,. Monev and valualili aecun ! '"'H ln.i.id'i. celebrated aafea, with a rr tale .itir i,K. iCCCTOTS SOUCITEI!. H Ueal lloliJurii Observed. CURTIS K. GROVE. SOMERSET. PA. N'a.lKj.. HUEK.IIS, CARRIAGES. H kiXii WAH)XK. BITK WAGOXS. SI) EASTERN AND WESTERN WORK Furuiklied on Knott Notice. Painting Done on Short Time. i maite out of ThimmgtJy Srammrt Woud, h- lnm and Srf, Suliatjuitiaily iirtrucu4. Xeally Fiuiabetf, and arrnted Uiaive Satl-hution. "P-T Only First Class Worimen. "Kulce. Prii.REAOXBLK,an4 All Work Warranted. 'laul Examine lny Work, and Learn -rVe 'i-work, aid fumldh eivea for lnd k-iucudie, the place, and call In. CURTIS JL GROVE. Ea4 of Court Bouse) SOMERSET. PA VOL. XXXY. NO. It is to Your Interest TO BUY VOUK Drugs and Medicines Of Biesecker & Snyder. Wtt'EXMORS TO f N. BOYD. Xone but tbc iurst ami bwt lcept in Block, and when I tnifrsbeoi tme inert by rtand ing, as rtain of tlieni ilo, we de stroy tlicni, nitiier tlian im- jkim on our custoniefs. You can dt-jiend on baving your PRESCRIPTIONS & FAMILY RECEIPTS filled with care. Our price are as low an any other firt-cla.ss hnu and on many articles mnrli lower. The jmiplo if this eiuntjr nem to know thin, and have iven us a laiye share of their jiatronafn'. ;.d we shall still continue to give thetn the veijr btwt pods for their money. iV not Hirp-t that we make a Mt:Llty f F1TTIXG- T1ITJSSES. AVe jruiirantee sutisfiutHin, anil, if you liae had troulil.- in this direction, (dvc us a cull. SPECTACLES AND EYE-GLASSES in great: variety ; A full net of Test LetiHes. Come in and have your eyes examined. Xo chartre for examination, and we are ooulii lent we can suit you. Come and nee me. Resjiertnilly, BIESECKER & SNYDER. EXCELSIOR COOK STOVE mm umrht. EIGHTEEN SIZES AND IIM ill Pnrctesrs in k Mil MASITACTVKKD BY L 1. SEEFEEED & li EllTI. Ml ASD FOB SALE BV H. T3. SclicU & Co., auglS-'Wi-lyr. f ' ( ' ttOMSKSET. FJL ALBEKT A. IIoKNK. - J. somt Wan. HORNE & WARD EJWiKX TO Eaton fc "Bros. XO. 27 FIFTH AVENUE, PITTSBURGH, PA. SPRING AND SUMMER,-1886. NEW GOODS EVE2Y DAT SPECIALTIES ; -IX- t Emhroiilrrin, Larr. SMlinrrr, H'Ai'f Cruaib, Hand karltirt, Drrrn Trimming. H-mrrf, Vtinrt, Ow trlt. Ma Aim nmrl Mvrma I ndrnnvr, TufuM I mtd Chilflrtn't (UtOonff, ruui Vocb, l Yarnt, Tsphw. Mrttrrtalr if all AoKf or FAXCr WORK. Gents' MM Goofls, 4c, &c. Tour Patronage If Raipaetfully Jolielted. tw.Ordem by Nail ttetidi'd to with Promptneaa and IiiMMiteh. XEW GOODS FOR Spring Wear. Sjifc-ial nice line of all-winil S.riii(,' Dn Fabrics at wuIm. Iiiiajrted. Main, and Combination Suitiiiip at f 1 ami 1.25 a yard. New Kti(.'lish Styleil Suitiiirs, in checks and etrija, 5"J inche wide, at 1.50. Extra valuea iu lila k Ciros tirain Silks our CVVoeiit Hluck ritirah ?ilk. best in this country at ll iri ; alo, vaf tl grade. New nin'y lUu-k Velvets. HatvaiiiD iu our wonderfully larpe a.Hort-nit-iit rnew French Satines, J-cotob, Ander son (jiiiKbaniH und American f iinghams. Sjiring imKrtatiin of Lnoe CurtaiiiH, juxt received, $1 a pair u to finest ip-taliti8. TWutiful new Embroideries iu White and Colors. New Linen TriiuminK Locea. barirains. latest novelties in Dnis Tl lniniinKS and Muttons. Sainjiet Kid ;inwn;rfy u aiipliaUum. JOS. HORNE CO.'S Pnn Avenu Storef , Pittsburgh, Pa. QHAKL1 1KTKFMAN, MERCHANT TAILOR (Above Hcflley'a Store.) Latest Styles, and Uw Prices. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. Somerset, Pa. Al CYCLOSrE Struck Sornernet, and left -- GALVANIC OIL (inaranteed 6r Rbeumatiant, Keuiwlfrta, Head ache. Tootiiache. CiiUe, Paina. Spraton, Bruiaea, and Bsrur. Bold by Inugguu BIESECKER 4 SNYDER. 50. THERE, YET HERE. Ia.it April nhe was with me, who, to-day, Is somewhere in the far-off world of (tod. Far off. saiil I ? She is not far away When Heaven and earth are sundered by sod. Here is the siot where, in the rain-wet moss, I found the first shy blossom oftlie spring ; I ee, again, a sun-shaft strike across The Mower's heart, and hear a robin sing. And then I see her face, so fair, so sweet ! So full of tender thoughts, and oh, so true! And with that April's joy my pulsea lieat To-day, my darling, as I think of you, " Xo flower so sweH as violets,"' you wil, And took the blossom, smiling dreamily, " Because they always lieur, alive or dead, This message born of love: " I think of thee."' Here on this knoll we sat awhile to see The amber sunshine fade to rosy light ; And heard the hum of some belated bee In hiveward-farin), rollcn-Iadcn flight. " The heart's a rover, like the bee," yon said, "It bunts for sweets in every flower that blows ; - Some come too lata, and find the flower is dead ; For sonic the stubborn flower will not unclose " And yield its treasure to thecluiu'rous boe, Hold, saucy privateer of summer days ; Hut my heart's flower liasyicldcd all to thee," You whispered, smiling softly, and the haze Of twilight seemed to vanish from your fuce; So sudden sunshine makes dnrk skim grow bright, And love's light, shining onward, filled the place With radiaiH lingering far into the night. Aguiu in dreams your loving baud I hold : Again ujsin my cheek I feel your breath. O grave, dear grave, yet not one summer old, tiive back the dead ! Be mercif'il, O Death ! In vain I plead. The grave's door shuts for aye On those who cro ita threshold. Still to n if It seems licr presence haunts the plat to day. I cannot comprehend the mystery. Though over her the April violet blows, She is beside me : I can touch her baud ; I see her face if I one moment close My eyes. Dear heart, you know, yuit under stand ! Though I have lost you. you with me remain. The grave's sod bides you, but I have you yet. I wait for Heaven to make the mystery plain And only know you never will forget ! Ettrn E. Reifinrd, in Vurrtnt. AUNT VERSUS UNCLE. " Twelve o'clock, t liT said Uuncle Joe, ustening meditatively to the strokes of the big clock in the conic . "Midnight yen, actually midnight, and William not home yet. Well, it's amaiir.g how young folks will keep it up when they're a-courtin' ! I never was in the btwiness mvat'lf, but I've always heard talk that it was a pretty alworbin' sort o-' thing." And he roue in a stiff, rheumatic sort of way to throw a new logon the fire, which had burned down to a maw of glowing embers. " It's a snowiuy J Uncle Joe, glanc ing through the tiny panes of the north window, already banked up on the out side with ennine-wbite drifts. "Like wise a-Llowin". More than that, it's cold er than the North Pole, for the water jw.il friz in the back kitchen before nine o'clock, and the big cedar tree keeps creakin' as it never does except w hen the thermometer runs down pretty nigh to zero. I don't know w hat would lure me to go out on a night like this but Will makes nothing of train pin four miles to Pratt's Corner's to see the girl that he's goin' to marry next week. Well, well young folks will be young folks, I s'pose, and there's no makin' nothin' else outen, 'em ! I'm glad I kept the coffee pot hot. He won't be none the worse for a drink o' good, warm coffee and the potatoes are roatited to a T." iso speaking, Uncle Joe uncovered the ashy nest wherein reposed three or four uioriHtrous "early trine " potatoes in wrin kled jackets, and nodded his head toward a cold ham bone on the table, w here a plate and knife and fork were laid, as if ready for some expected guest. And presently the guest arrived Will Harrow himself, his head and shoulders powdered with snow, his nose blue with cold, his eyes sparkling like a first-class pair ot well-watched diamonds. . " I'm !- rry to keep you up so late, Un cle Joe," he said, cheerily. "Why on earth didn't you go to lied?" " Well, I eouldnt somehow reconcile myself to the idea of lea v in' things," said Uncle Joe. " Here's some coffee, Will. And some roasted jsitatoes that can't be l-at ! Sit down and eat a bit' " You are always so thoughtful of uie, Uncle Joe," said Will Harrow, rlinginofl his snow-sprinkled coat. " You're all I've got to be thoughful of," said the old man, stroking his chin. " I've sort o' had you on my mind, Will, ever since you was a baby. And I tell you, it comes powerfully hard on me to give you up to a wife now !" " You are jealous, eh V said Will, with a laugh. " A little bit, William," nodded Uncle Joe, scattering salt in the mealy heart of his potato. "I ain't a-denyin' of it It's human nature to get married, I know but for all that I feel as if I was givin' away my boy to some one else!" "You and she will get .along splendid, ly," said Will, " I ant very sure of that!" "Like enough," observed Uncle Joe, " like enough. I hain't never heard noth ing but good of Fanny Wallis ! And she's got a face like a posy !" " But that isn't the worst of it, Uncle Joe," said Will Harrow, with rather a eonsrience-stricken look at the nigged old face that confronted him on Uie other side of the table, "Fanny's Aunt is to live with us!" " Eh r said Uncle Joe, dropping his knife and fork, " Fanny's aunt! Herer " I don't know where else she is to live," said Will. " A home has got to be made for her somewhere." "Is she a widder?" demanded Uncle Joe, in a sepulchral whisper. "No, a single lady." " Phew !" whistled Uncle Joe. " An old maid ! As full of cantankerousness, no doubt, as an egg is of meat Where on earth do ye s'pose there's room enough for her in this house T "Well," suggested Will, "there's the little end room in the wing, looking out on Cassadee river. There's a fire place in it, and a good sized closet for her gowns and tilings, and " "William!" said Uncle Joe, rising to Son SOMERSET, give additional emphasis to his remark, "Don't!" I " Don't wliat, Uncle Joe ?" "Don't let the creetur in! She'll be worse than any mother-in-law !" solemn ly pronounced Uncle Joe! "Jest make a stand at the very begin. ning, and tell Fanny you ain't going to marry the whole family ! take my ad vice now, my boy, or you'll regret it all your life r Toor Will moved very uneasily in his chair. " I can't do that, Uncle Joe," said he. " I've promised Fan. She makes such a point of it, don't you see? And Miss Ked gitt is really a very nice person ! You'll say that, I'm sure, when " But Uncle Joe remained to hear no more. He took up a candle and stalked off to bed without even slaying to cover the fire a thing which had not happen ed in all the three-and-twenty years in which he had lived in the farm house. Poor Will! How was Uncle Joe to know how manfully he, Will, had fought the battles of his ancient retainer that very night ? For Fanny Wallis, dearly as she loved the young man to whom she was so soon to be married, had stoutly coni- batted the idea of Uncle Joe. " Why don't he go away and get a home of hisown?" pouted Fanny. " What bus-int-Hs has he interfering and bothering with oar concerns?" . " Bat, my own darling," protested Will, he has lieen a father to me." But you don't want a father now that you're going to have a wife," urged Fan ny. " We shall be so snug and comforta ble then, with Aunt Kexlgitt to help us." He has always managed the farm while I attended to my trade," pleaded Will, feeling as if the solid earth were giving way under his feet But Aunt Kedgitt is the best econo mist in the world, persisted Fanny, "and I can't get along without Aunt Kedgitt. And she can't bear having men about the place." Will groaned a deep and hollow groan. What was he to do? And when he reach ed his home, there w as Uncle Joe to be buttled with good, kind Uncle Joe, who had always been so near and dear to him. The next day Uncle Joe's face at the breakfast bible was more deeply lined than ever. "Well," said he, "is this at settled thing? Ain't there no escapin' that can tankerous old maid?" " I don't see any way out of it, Uncle Joe," sighed the bridegroom-expectant. " That settles it," said Uncle Joe, pour ing his coffee down his throat in scalding draughts. " I'll pack up my traps and go out to Michigan, where sister Ann Eliza lives." " And leave me, Uncle Joe?" The old man shook his head. "You'll have a wife and an aunt-in- law," said he. " I calculate that'senough for you." And to this derision he steadfastly clung. Meanwhile, at Fanny Wallis' boarding place, Aunt Kedgitt was also la ving dow n the law. "I can't stand no shiftless old folks loafing about the place," said she. " I've seen enough of 'em at your Grandfather Wallis', where they had three of them all the same as an . old peoples' ref- uge. " But, dear Aunt Kedgitt," almost wept Fanny, " how can I ever get along w ith out you T Oh, IU stay, then, until you get back from your wedding trip," said Miss Kedg itt, resignedly. " I guess 1 can get along with him as long as that!" The grim air with which the two op- K.dte relatives regarded each other across the table whereon was spread the wed ding breakfast was something fearful to behold. Fanny felt it in the midst of her happiness and Will Harrow groan ed in spirit. " Why can't that old man take himself somewhere else?" thought Fanny. " What possessed that old woman to come and take possession of my house?" muse 1 Will. It poisoned all their first happiness, that dreadful recollection of Mr. Parish and Miss Kedgitt waging single combat in the old house at home, while they were absent. " Aunt Kedgitt will ne-er consent to be second in authority to an old fossil like that," thought Fanny. : " Uncle Joe won't stand any of the wo man's nonsense." said Will, gloomily, to himself. "I only hope there'll be no bloodshed in our absence." ' And each looked a little fearful at the other on that bright February afternoon when the cutter sleigh brought them back from the depot A cheerful fire burned in the sitting room the table vii' spread with dainty fare. Aunt Kedgitt camespiling forward in her best black silk gown, with fresh li lac ribbons in her cap. Uncle Joe, With new ly blacked boob and astifly-starched "store-shirt" on, stood in the background as radiant as the pioture of the rising sun on the face of the clock behind him. "We are back all safe, Aunt Kedgitt," said Mrs. Harrow, a little hysterically. " Waal, Fanny, me and your aunt ain't sorry," interposed Mr. Parish, by way of answ er. " You've had your turn weddin' trippin', and now we want ours! Don't we, Eliza r " What!" cried Fanny, while Will dropped the biggest traveling bag in his amazement. "We were married last Wednesday that's all !" said uncle Joe. " Wasn't we, Eliza. ' " ' " Don't be foolish, Joe," said his bride, with a girlish giggle. " There never was such a woman as Eli za," said Mr. Parish, proudly. "Nor such a man as Joseph," said Mrs. Parish, with an air of deep con viction. The middle aged couple started on their honeymoon trip the next day and Will and Fanny had no more trouble on the score of their relations. " But w asn't it strange," said Fanny to Will "Nothing is strange where Cupid is concerned, my. dear," said Will to his wife. . ..- The bindings of books in the British museum have a special significance. His torical works are in red, theoligical in blue, poetical in yellow, and natural his tory in green. Bel ESTABLISHED 1827. PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 25, 1887. A Fault Finder. All husbands find fault with their meals. I know this to be true, because Mr. Bowser says so. I think it nothing strange when Mr. Bowser sits down to his dinuer and begins: . ' Humph ! some old corned beef!' ' Yes, my dear ; it's the same corned beef you ordered as you went down this morning.' tn, u is! i dttin t know, but it was some ordered a year ago 1 What do you call these things ? " " Potatoes, of course."- " Potatoes, eh ! I'll try and remember that name. And what's this?" " Cabbage, my love." " ! I didn't know but it is was wood- pulp, my love! Was this bread made since the war?" "Certainly. It is only two days old. "Humph! Buying some poor coffee again, I see! Look at that! That stuff looks as if it was dipped out of a mud hole." " But you ordered this very coffee your self only night before last," He growls and eats, and eats and growls, and I've got used to it It is only now and then he proceetls to violence. The other day he expressed his fondness fur pumpkin pie, and I ordered the cook to make two or three. We had one brought on at supper, and as soon as Mr. Bow ser saw it he sternly inquired : " What do you call that performance there? When was it born, and where is it going to? " "Mr, Bowser, vou said you wanted some pumpkin pie." "Yes." vt en, nere it is, ana as goou a one as you ever ate ; 1 made, it myself from mother's favorite reoeipe." Mrs. liowser, do you call that a pump kin pie?" "I do, sir." " Then I want to be branded a fool ! What do you take me for, anyway? Don't you suppose I was eating pumj kin pies before you were born ? " " Why isn't it a pumpkin pie ? " " Why isn't a boot leg a boot ? Where is your other crust ? " " But pumpkin pies never have an np- der crust Don't they? Mrs. Bowser, you can deceive the cook, for she is a confiding foreigner, and you can stuff most any yarn down our jwor little baby, but do not try to bamboozle me. It won't work. I'm glad for your sake that my mother is not here to laugh at you." In two days I had a letter from his mother, atlirming that were Was no up per crust to a pumpkin pie, and I brought my own mother over in the flesh as a fur ther witness, but did Mr. Bowser do but loudly exclaim : " Bosh : You old women have forgot ten half you knew ! -You are thinking about pudding and milk, you are. Of ourse there is no upper crust to pud- ling and milk, and I never said there was. . He cost me a good girl last week by one of his whims. I happened to won der aloud during the evening if she had put her bread to raise, when he prompt ly inquired : Mrs. Bowser, do you know why the bread raises ? " Because of the yeast." "But why does the yeast expand the dough?" " Because it does." " Exactly. You also live because you do, and that is all you know about it! You ought to be ashamed of your ignor ance of natural philosophy. Ill see if the girl knows any better." He went out and inquired : "Jane, have you put the bread to raise?" "Yes, sir." " Do you expect it to raise ? " " Of course." " Why don't you expect it to fall ?" " Are you running this kitchen ?" she sharply demanded. Virtually, yes. My object is to see how well you are posted on, natural phil osophy. Why does the bread raise in stead of fall ? " " Because it's a AxjI, anil I'm another for staying in a place where a man is al lowed to hen-huzzy about the kitchen! 11 leave in the uioreing." And leave she did, and all the conso lation I got from Mr. Bowser as became up to dinner was. " It's a good thing she left She might have mixed something together which would have caused our deaths. Come now, hurry up the dinner." Mr. Bowser has improved some in the direction of taking care of the baby. I can now leave them together as long as fifteen minutes without fear that one will kill the other by trying some experiment They hud been alone but seven minutes the other day while I was up stairs, and when I came down Mr. Bowser seem ed quite agitated and whisjiered to nie : " I've suspected it all a long ! " "What?" " That our child is somew hat of a mon strosity ! Look at that ! " And he pointed to a soft spot ot the child's head were. a throb could be de tected. "Every child has the same," I replied in a reassuring voice. "Oh! they have eh I What infant's assylum have you been matron of? Perhaps I married the mother instead of the daughter ! I tell you that's a freak of nature, that is, and I shan't be surpris ed to come home any day, and find a horn beginning to sprout" The Way to get Rich. A Land speculation. "But," said the would-be purchaser, they tell me that the land is covered by a swamp." " Swamp, why, of course. It's the rich est land in the world." " But how am I to get rid of the wa ter?" " Pump it off." " Yes, but then it will be on some other man's land." "That's all right; let him pump it off on to seme one else's land. My dear sir, you should never be bothered by what is on some other man's land." . " Yes, but won't be pump the water back on my land ?" "The very thing yon want The best crops are raised that way. Pumping from first one field to another brings about a mutual system of iarigation. I got rich that way." Arkanmw Tratxltr. . Sheridan's Courtship. Not long since at a dinner, given in New York. General Sheridan related an incidenfthat befell him while calling on the young lady who is the present Mrs. Sheridan. ' During the war General Sheridan was too much occupied defending hiscountry to fall in love. When the malady finally overtook hirn in Chicago, after the war, Sheridan hail jiassed what is generally called the romantic stage and was settling down into a well seasonud old bachelor hood. Old bachelors make the most en thusiastic of lovers, aud the General ad mitted that he was no exeptiou to the rule. " It was a warm summer evening," Sherdian began, " and upon my arrival at the house the young lady and myself retired to the back parlor. The front parlor opened into the hall, amd as the night was warm, you know, we did not think it necessary to light the gas in the back room. Now this young lady's fath er had a great fear of burglars. He had burglar alarms all over the house, and had recently put a new alarm on the front door. AfUr a time the old gentle man came down stairs, set his alarm on the door, and seeing the dirolight in the front parlor, supposed that I hail gone and turned out the light in the hall. We were busily engaged in talking you know, and somehow did not hear him. Finally when I got up to, leave the youug lady accompanied me to tne door, w e were surprised to find the light turned out, and in fumbling around for the doorknob I set off the burglar-alarm. It seemed to me that I never knew a burglar-alarm to work so well before. It sounded like the explosion of a keg of dynamite. A moment later the father of the young lady apjeared at the head of the stairs in his night-dress, holding a light in one hand and a large pistol in the other. At this apparition the young lady deserted me and fled into the darkness. My position was positively dangerous. I suppose I had been in dangerous places liefore without thinking of it but I con fess lor the moment I trembled all over with fear, and scarcely mustered np voice enough to say " Don't shoot ; it's me." Fortunately he recognized my voice and came down and let nie out. "Now, you know, gentlemen," he con cluded, " if the young lady had Htxil by me there would have been no danger, but she kidn't you know, and my posi tion was rather aw kward before I was re-' cognized. One might die on the field of battle without regret, but I should hate to be shot as a midnight marauder. I only tell the story because it actual v took place as I have said, and to show thut there are times when w e may all lose our courage." Horses Shod with Gold. In the year 1855 a storekeeper named Donald Cameron, carrying on bibvincss in what was known as the Woodshed, Victoria, was elected first member of Mirliament for the Ovens district and te had the honor unique in the history ofthecolony of being driven in triumph from the Woodshed into Beech worth in a gig tandem team, the leading horse of which was shod with gold. Just before the election an eccentric individual. known as Tinker Brown, who had made a lot of money ou the diggings, suddenly purchased a circus, with tents, horses and wagons complete, and coming into Beechworth with the company, he offer ed to drive the newly elected member anil supply golden horseshoes for the oc casion. The woods! ted bosses, who were greatly elated over the result of the election, warmly took np Brown's idea, and they resolved, in addition, to present their member with a diamond scarf pin. The horseshoes were made by a working jeweler named Tofield and weighed nine ounces each. The team was driven from Woodshed to ISeechworth and back as far as La Serena Hill. On removing the shoes, of the leader, a piebald circus horse, they were found to have lost a total of one and three-auarter ounces. Before Tinker Brown died he willed them to a married daughter keeping a public house at Wagga Wagga. They were in existence until about four years ago, when the owner had them melted and turned into sovereigns. One Honest Man. Among those in the east rooom was Dr. Weiting, of Syracuse, X. Y. Ir. Weiting owns the opera-house wherein Cleveland was nominated for Governor. The President shook the little doirtor's hand quite cordially. There is a good story told of Dr. Weiting. Some years ago he was lecturing in New York, and after he had lectured he was approached by a young man who was an entire stranger to him. The doctor was there fore greatly surprised to hear him make an extraordinary request. He had been in the audience and heard the lecture, and was captivated by the doctor's elo- mence, and he made bold to speak to uui. Ihe young man said he desired to go to California and wanted money. "Give me one thousand dollars" sidd he to Dr. Weiting, "and I'll send you one-half of every dollar I make in Cali fornia." The doctor was so surprised at the re quest that he did not say any thing for sometime, and finally asked the young man who he was. The doctor learned his name, and then asked him why he did not go to his relativesfor money. The young man replied that he had no rela tives. After a few days' thinking over the matter the doctor concluded to give the money to the young man, and he did so. A year or so afterward Dr. Weiting re ceived $5,000 from California. It was marked : " One-half the money I have made." Dr. Weiting then wrote to the young man that be considered that he bad complied with his promise, and re leased him ; but the young man replied he did not consider himself released, and would carry out bis bargain. Money continued to come from California, nntil Dr. Weiting had received 140,000. Then it stopped, and he could not find the young tnah, and the doctor came to the conclusion that he was dead. The doctor took the $40,000 and invested it in a block of buildings. He had hardly made the purchase before the entire block burned down, and he lost all the money made for , him by the honest young man in California. Washington Letter. Gen. Grant In 1863. I find in my notes a description of Gen. Grant written behind Vicksburg, in June lSfi3. It may be of interest at this remote date : "Almost at any time one can see a small but compactly built man of about 45 years of age walking through the camps. He moves with his shoulders throw n a little in front of the ticrpendieular, his left hand in the pock et of bis trousers, an unlighted cigar in his mouth, his eyes thrown straight for ward, which, from the haze of abstrac tion which veils them, and counte nance plowed into furrows of thought, would seem to indicate that he is intense ly preoccupied. The soldiers observe him coining, and, rising to their feet, gather on ca-h side of the way V) see hini pass they don't salute him, they only watch him curiously, with a certain sort of familiar reverence. His abstracted air is not so great while he thus moves along as to see everthing without apparently looking at it ; you will discover this in fact that, however dense the crowd in which you stand, if you are an acquaint ance, his eyes will for an instant rest on you with a grave nod of recogni tion. A plain blue suit without scarf, sword or strappings of any sort, save the double starred shoulder straps, an indifferently gixKl Kossuth hat, or slouch, with the crown battered in close to his head, full beard between light and sandy, a square cut face, whose lines and contour indi cate extreme endurance and determina tion, complete the external appearance of this small man, as one sees him pass ing along, turning and chewing restless ly the end of his unlighted cirgar. His countenance in rest has the rigid immo bility of cast iron, and while this indi cates the unyielding tenacity of the bull dog, one finds in his gray eyes a smile and other evidences of the possession of those softer traiU seen upon the lips and over the entire faces of ordiary jeople. On horseback he loses all the awkward ness which distinguishes him as he moves about on foot. Erect and graceful, he seems a portion of his steed, without which the full effect would be incomplete. Along with a body guard of the (Jeneral rides his son Fred, a stout lad of twelve summers. He endures all the marches, follows his father under fire with all the coolness of an old soldier, and is, a " chip of the old block." What Pompeii Died Of. A P1 Espritx reporter chanced to be standing beside the delivery desk of one of the city libraries when a well-dreseed lady of thirty approached the def k. The librarian was cutting the leaves of a new copy of the " Last Days of Poiupeiii," now and then stopping to read a passage from the famous novel. The lady glanced around lixtlewly and said : "I would like to find something new in the way of nice reading. Nothing very strong, you know, something light and amusing. That is a nice looking book you have there. What is it?" " It is the ' Lust Days of Pompeii."' "'Last lhiys of Pompeii' Pompeii who was Pompeii? What did he die of? I never could bear tragedy." " I believe he died of an eruption. Yes, this is rather tragical," replied the li brarian, with the faintest smile imagin able. The huly departed after securing Kome- thing " light and amusing," and with out the slightest idea that she had fur nished anv amusement Rifheler 7W A Sham Wedding Trip. Fashion demands that when young people marry they shall go away on a wedding trip, which means no small out lay of cash. A couple recently married felt this pn-ssure, but conceived a scheme by which, to thwart the process of custom and save the item of expense. They went to the station, accompanied by a party of friends, and boarded a train, with good byes said all around, the friends extend ing the regulation w ishes for a safe and happy tour. But the couple didn't remain on the the train. Oh, no ! Thev walked through the car and out at the end opposite that at which they entered, and getting off the opiiosite side, sped down a back street to their home, w here they remain ed in seclusion for a week, while their friends thought them away enjoying the honeymoon. His Guess. It is sometimes said that city boys are brighter than their country cousins, but the opinion will hardly lie verified by the following true story : A Boston schoolmistress is in the habit of giving her pupils word lessons ; that is, she describes some) familiar object, going more and more into particulars, till some one of the children makes a sign that he knows what it is. On this occasion she began to describe an animal which had two legs and two wings, was covered with feathers, lived most of the time in trees, and so on ; when finally one little fellow put up his hand. "Well, what is it, Johnny?" she asked. "I think it's a cow," Johnny answered. Barbed-wire, fences are now used by many English farmers to protect their premises from the depredations of hunt ers, who seemingly delight in tramping down the crops and destroying the fenivs. Five quarts of petroleum is sufficient to preserve a ship in a rough sea. The oil is generally applied to the surface in can vas bags filled with oakum, through which the oil trickles slowly. The bags are attached to the leeward side of the ship by long ropes. One of the dynamite shells recently made for the United States Navy will kill, it is thought a thousand men, blow np a man-of-war or destroy a Government building. ' A French writer has described a young lady as a creature that ceases to kiss gentlemen at twelve and begins again at eighteen. A Washington lady has a rare curiosi ty in shape of an egg inside of an egg. Both eggs have perfectly formed shells. . Who takes an eel by the tail, or a wo man at her word, soon finds he holds nothing. k-,. raid WHOLE NO. 1871. Divorce and Marriage. My marriage was a very romantic one," said a Chicago gentleman at the Palace Hotel, San Francisco, who is on his bridal tour. The lady's former husband was an in timate friend ofminj. He is a good fe! low, but he didn't use her well. Although a gentleman in most respects, he was so unfortunate as to have the drinking habit, and occasionally, while in liquor, he raised the deuce in the do mestic circle. Both he and the lady were accustomed to come to me for ail vice after these af fairs. " Get a divorce," said I- at last " Agreed," says they, and shook hands on it Then they separated, pending the re sult of the legal proceedings. I visited the lady in her retirement several times. " Frank," said the husband to nie, " don't you think you had better not call on Li.zie while this divorce business is in progress?" " Why, Bob," says I, " what the mis chief have you to do with the mutter ? " I don't like it," says he. " But," says I, " the idea never occur red to me liefore, but now that you sug gest it, I don't know but what I will. J you think she'll favor the idea her self?." " I'm blessed," continued the Chicago man, " if the fellow didn't begin to' fight the divorce from that minute." " We downed him, of course, but lie's still cool, and even refused to attend the wedding. "However, when we get home my wife will manage to smooth him down ; she knows his ways, you understand. There's nothing so painful to me as a break in an old friendship, and we both really like Bob wcry well, in spite of his faults. Laughing in Battle. General Pleasanton said that even in action, at the most critical point, he could always see something that made him laugh. It was at the battle of Brandy Station, where the Gtneral distinguished himself as a cavalry leader, that one of these instances occurred. In the heat of the engagement a cavalryman's horse w as shot from nnder him. A shell had taken off the horse's hind legs clean, and the cavalryman and horse rolled together in the dust. " That soldier " said the General, " was the coolest man I ever saw. He got np and shook himself and commenced to take off his saddle and bridle, and care fully piled them, with his other traps, in a little heap. Although the shot were screaming past him, and the air was full of bullets and shell, he acted with as much deliberation as if he were getting ready for breakfast That was what at tracted my attention. I watched that fellow, thinking that that was the kind of a man I wanted in my escort, At that moment another shell took off his horse's head, and he looked at hint a moment, and then put LU foot upon the horse's hotly, about the only thing that was left about the animal, and shook his fist at the rebel battery over on the hill. It was the most comical sight to me I ever saw, and I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it, although we were in a pretty tight place. The next morning I sent over to the regiment to which the soldier belonged and asked the name of the man whose horse had leea killed in the sin gular manner stated. My orderly return ed, saying that be couldn't find him. When I insjiected the regiment, or what was left of it, that day, I rode down the line and looked at every man to see if I could pick him ont myself. Don't you know that I could never find out that fellow ? You see, he had probably stolen a horse from the quartermaster's depart ment and had remounted himself, and was afraid to cpme forward for fear of court-martial. He was a brave fellow, and I would have been glad to have made him a sergeant You see there were a great many horses killed, and one man could not be singled out very easily. It was a curious thing that alter leaving a lot of dead animals on the battle field, next day would see nearly every man mounted, anil in good condition. You see, they would steal the horses from the quartermaster's department, "r else where." What Women Didn't Know. I thought women knew everything about everything. But they don't I don't like to tell this story ; it is a kind of a giveaway. There were three or four ladies enjoying that afternoon time when ail the gossip is manufactured and made up in packages to lie delivered around town. They were having a charming time when the China boy walked into their midst, holding in his hand a box of paste of some kind. lie handed it to the lady of the house with the laconic re mark : " Man dow n there sell 'em." They all grabbed for the box. " What is it? said one. " I don't know," said the other, it's paste." " I don't know," said the hostess. "but "It's that new complexion paste we were read ing atiout I km't you remember? That thing that Mrs. Langtry wrote a recom mendation for. It must be that " It must be good. Let's try it" So one of thein took a good big dab of it and put it on her cheek, and another put some on her chin, and another on her forehead. Then they all begun to squirm. The first one's check was all drawn up, and she could only speak out of the side of her mouth ; the third one's eyelids were pulled up so that she could not shut them. " Well, I never ! We don't want any of that, anyway. John, take it away ; take it away, .quick. Tell the man we don't want it" The Chinaman departed and found the peddler sitting on the front steps. The peddler rose np. " Well," he said, " Im glad you've come back. I thought you were cleaning all the silverware in the bouse with it" WHY will you congh when Shilob's Cure will give immediate relief. Price, 10 cents, 50 cents, and $1. Sold by Geo. W. Benford & Son. The men and horses of the Indiapolis fire department are afflicted with m mild distemper, one of the men being nearly blind. ANDERSON VILLE. Description of the Prison Site as it Appears To-Day. It will be remembered that the site of the prison was a couple of side hills slop ing gently down tow.ir I each other into a bog or swamp, through which ran a sluggish stream of watr cit'ht or ten feet w ide and about six inche deey. When this spot was chosen f-r a prison it was quite heavily timbered with pine tree. A space of about twenty acres in extent was cleared off ami securely fenced in with the timber thus obtained, the tim ber being cut twenty five feet long, anil buried five feet in the ground. The soil was light and sandy. Only two tree were left standing in the entire enclosure. No place could have been more inhospit able and cheerless. The swamp, in which a man would sink to the waist, occupied a considerable portion of the field, the little stream wan brackish ami nnpalata bie ; Uie absence of shade trees, which might have lieen left, made the pen al most a caldron under the burning south ern sun. To-day the place presents a some what pleasanter aspect The side' bills are now farmed, the swamp is not, and will not be for years, until redeemed by a more careful system of agriculture. Af ter the prison was abandoned in April, 18fi5, the place grew np with second grow th timber, but this has been almost cleared away, and in its place in the proper Beason axe found the products of (jeorgut husliandry. The great, towering stockade has almost entirely disappear ed ; it is only here and there that a single post or a little group of pouts m to be seen. These have not rotted away but have boen wisely split up into raiU to fence off the farm land. Their purpose is not now to keep in prisoners, but to keep out intruders. Still, though the heavy spiked timbers have been removed, the three linen of stockade can be distinctly traced ; they are likely to be discernible for years to come. The strong earthworks that the Confederate soldiers threw up are still there, hard and firm ; and the rifle pits used by them are still traceable, though 2:1 year have elapsed since they were dug. The sluggish littlestream, the"Branch," as the prisoners called it, still takes its way across what was the old enclosure, about a third of the way from the south ern boundary of the stockade. It is to day much as it was in the Ws. Its banks are lined now, as then, with rank, oozy ground, still miasmal and disagreeable, but of course, shorn of the fetid, excre mental stench of war times. This was the general sink of the prison, and its stench could then be detected a mile away. Those familiar with the history of An- dersonville will remember the little spring, tTovidence Spring it was call ed, because it was a godsend to the pris oners, that broke forth on the 12th or 13th of August, ISi'A, between "dead line " and the stockade, not far from the north gate. Previous to this time the prisoners got water from the " Branch," or general sink. When this spring broke ont, however, Captain Wirz considerately allowed them to 'sink a barrel and con duct the water within the "dead line," and here the prisoners would stand in line by the hundreds,awaitiug their turn to get a drink of fresh water. It was the one great blessing of the pen, and it has never ceased to flow. Its waters bubble forth to-day as fresh and sparkling as in those times of suffering. The appearance of the spring, of course, is changed. Twenty years of ceaseless flowing has worked it back a little higher np the hill, since the old barrel that the prisoners sunk soon disappeared after the prison was abandoned. It is now some twenty feet from the perceptible outline of the stockade. For a time it was protected by a large pine stump, but is now surround ed by a neat wood curbing about two and a half feet high, with a semi-circular open ing on the lower side, through w hich the water constantly flows. Before the spring broke forth the pris oners endeavored to find fresh water by sinking wells in the hillsides, but to no avail. Many such excavations were made, some of them forty or fifty feet deep. Sev eral of these are still to be seen, almost aa perfect as when the prisoners dug them. They are all dry, since whatever water runs into them from the surface is rapid ly absorbed by the sandy soil. They are a constant source of danger, yet the care less husbandry of the south does not fill them np. Of course the "dead line," a low fence eighteen feet from the stockade, made by nailing a fonr-inch strip of board on low posts about twenty feet apart, has wholly disappeared. Not the slightest trace is left of it, since it was very lightly con st meted. Though more than twenty years have passed, the burrow or dugouts of the prisoners are still discernible. It is strange what grotesque humor will crop out in the midst of suffering. It seems as though there is a la. by which hu mor asserts itself as a protest against de spair from the very depth ol a suffering heart These dugouts mere kennel were the boys' " browns tone front" The hillsides, especially on the north slope, are deeply corrugated. Great washonts are to lie seen where the prisoners' bur rows iiave caved in. It w ill take a long time for the influences of weather and shiftless farming to obliterate them. Here and ther, also, is to be seen a nar row, long depression in the ground lead ing toward the stockade. These a re caus ed by the falling in of the earth over the prisoners' tunnels, which were excavated with a view to escape, and escape some .'oO of the men did. Periodically the Confederates would drive a heavily load ed wagon over the space between the stockades and the "dead line," with a view to breaking in the soil and discov ering the tunnels. Besides this, they probed the ground with sharp spikes for the same purpose. These little lines of indenture there are eloquent with the hopes and efforts that too often were un availing. Relics of prison life are constantly be ing exhumed bits of pots and kettles, knives, spoons, canteen covers, and the like. These are mostly found on the sandy slopes of the hills, since the soil of the marsh has scarcely been disturbed. Upon the whole, the place has the air of a peaceful rural district One would readily see that it had been the scene of war operations. But there is nothing to suggest the horrors of thirteen months of prison experience except to one who can rightly read and interpret the little signs we have pointed out above. ilucayo Tune. Mistress and maid. " Where have yon been, Jane ? " " I've been to a meeting of the tiirla' Friendly Society, ma'am." " WelL and what did the lady say to yo'u?" Please, ma'am, she said I was to give you warning, as I meant to. She said that I was to look upon you as my thorn and bear it 1 " ARE you made miserable by Indiges tion, Constipation, Dizziness, Loss of Ap petite, Yellow Skin ? Shiloh's Vitalizer is a positive core. Sold by G. W. Benfurd dtSon.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers