u u Somerset Herald nns of Publication. Wednesday ".f madrnae.1 PH 5 'rVpn4 ap. rwtmvunwf feting - flflCtfT V svj- a- Im -.!- Ine 0D16F set eralcl - rilK""' f" .IVnam ostomos tn aa-1 ESTAJBLISECED 1827. ot Address the tan. as . .Mil " The Somerset Herald, Somerset. P- VOL. XXXIV. NO. 16. SOMERSET, PA., WEDNESDAY. SEPTEMBER 30, IS85. WHOLE NO. 17S5. FEANK W- -rrrvr rsETK ER, F NO. 2. i Novelty and Eureka ICLOTITES HHIXGEKB, Wa an teUtna; at ONLY S3.00. IT i Somerset, Pi. Somerset, P - Water Coolers, ICC CIEAM FXEEiZEMS, ICE TONCS, ICC PICKS. i LEMON SQUEEZERS, WIHE PISH I CUVEKS, FLY HKLSH ESCARP AT WHIPS, ETC. Vm the Improred SELT-MELTDIS WAI STRINGS Far Sealing Frail Cam and Jan. Ranges, Stoves and Tinware. , TRENT. T-mBSEY-AT-I.A Somerset, Fena'a. B. II. "ilTOfcSET-AT-LAW. Somerset, Pa- ?m.ET-ATLAW. Somerset, Pa, A- fKB m- n .TTPPEL. 4 8 tit j. pt'PPF.Tx. V t thlr will bo r.i.iad'Jl H'-- LC.OOLBOM. P0LBt ATTOKSEVS AT-LAW. v itnocr ear. wlllbe prompt- i3v0.!'"-''t,liw.ll,-ml. in Som- 1UDGEVVAY REFRIGERATORS. THIRD SEASOX. A rEMECT SUCCESS. Satisfaction Guaranteed. : These Befrlireratnrs are the t'taeepcM and: Beet la the market. : RANGES, STOVES AND TINWARE. And a General Assortment of Hcsse-TcimsMBg Goods. TK-B00FI5G, SPOrTISG, And General Jobbing, AT LOWEST RATES. All Work GuaranteetU 280 Washington Street, - Johnstown, Pa. THE OLDEST AND BEST. THE CEI KBKATED haf':"?r"'r.,nulnta Counties, fcorvey ) ILL rroww-AJ a-m n V 5Z "wvk VFYF.RS. ArroRNET-AT-LAW i ...men entmfted to bli car. will be JfiS Tet to Sny- ;r MITCHELL FARM SPRING WAGON ITGH, ATTORNEY Aa-. n etaln. Entranea, i'..iiMloi!f ia, ESTABLISilED FOR OVER FIFTY YEARS. I have now on hand and offer for sale, at greatly reduced pnees for the next ninety days, the very best WAGON FOR GENERAL USE, Manufactured in the United States made by Mitchell, Lewis & Co., Limited, Racine, Wisconsin. Any person acquainted with the superior points of the Celebrated MITCHELL WAGON, Which I am now selling, will certify to my statement that they are the VERY BEST Farm Wagon made. They are in general use now in nearly every country on the face of the globe, and are adapted to every variety of climate. It is ac knowledged by all to be the best proportioned, best ironed, best finished, and lightest running wagon made. I present a few facts that should be read by every farmer, about the Mitch ell Wagons : 1st. Great care is taken in selecting only the best timber that grows, which is cnt at the proper season of the year and piled under sheds until thoroughly seasoned. 2. The thimble skeins are much heavier than any other skeins in use and are, therefore, less-liable to break. 3. The hubs are dodge-mortised, which makes the strongest and most durable wheel that can be constructed. 4. The patent box-coupling, used only by this Company, prevents the wearing and weakening of the axle. 5. The MITCHELL WAGON stands to-day at the head and front of all competitors, and is known far and wide as the strongest and most durable, unequaled in quality and finish, and "monarch"' of the road wherever known and used. Don't fail to give me a call, and see the wagon for yourself ! Remember, for the next NINETY DAYS I am selling these h.wlroil bnei eatrofte! to aij cr i n oj;uuj ai ,iiiut iiuuivu fm". " ill i "UJ "l lLl and to buy now ! Trices furnished on application. GEO. W: SUSI LJiLR,, TAMES L and all leral bulneu Miu" SmeneCPa. 14 TvttlTtlMn-moth BloeA. .L .TTt.KSEV-AT-I.AW, Scaenet,Pa. V ,ggro TTENKYF. PCHELL. H ATTORNEY-ATUAW. A,rTT ui pee-v Agaat, 8-.rt, C m Xwtmata Black. Pa. VALENTINE HAY. ATTt.RNEY.AT-I.AW Awl rwl-r la Real fm" V. it-MaimrtBeMentroftedto bl ear. will 1U J v e nHN H. UHL. ATTURNEY-ATXA ."wr attead to a hwtoeM m. ..Irmpoed oa ervUectluoa, e. vi tT lii Xumath ttalldlnc. J. G.OGLE. ATTt)RNEY-AT LAW, Sonwaet Pa-, itxM u wita pnptaeM and ftdellty, DR. J.'M. LOUTH ER. ( Formerly of Stujetown. ) rm-sn a D sirgcos. hu lonrtd oennanentty tn Sojnetwt l i an: Hotel. In rear of Dtok Store. majil. IHE'WOOD GIANT. T JOHS UBU5LA.r WBITTIEB. From Alton Bay to Sandwich Im. From Mad to Saco Hirer, For patriarchs of th primal wood Weaougbt with Tain endeavor. And then we said : "The giants old Are lost beyond retrieval. This pigmy growth the axe has spared Is not the wvod primeval. "Look where we will o'er vale ajidhili How idle are oar searches For broad-girthed tuaoles, wide-limbed oaks, Centennial (jinea and birches ! "Their tortured limbs the axe and saw Have changed to beams and treaties ; They rest in walls, they float on teas,' They root in sunken vessels. "This shorn and wasted mountain land Of underbrush and bowlder Who thinks to see its full-grown tree Must live A century older." At last to us a woodland patli. To open sunset leading. Revealed the Anakim of pines Onr wildest wish exceeding. Alone, the level sun before. Below, the lake's green islands, Beyoud, in misty distance dim. The rugged Northern Highlands. Park Titan on his Sunset Hill Of time and change defiant ! How dwarfed the common woodland seemed Before the oldtime giant ! What marvel that in simpler days Of the world's early childhood Men crowned with garlands, gifts and praise Such monarchs of the wildwood ? That Tyrian maids with flower and song Danced through tbe hill grove's spaces. And hoary bearded Druids found In woods their holy places? With somewhat of that Pagan awe With Christian reverence blending. We saw our pine tree's mighty arms Above our heads extending. We heard this needles' mystic rune, Now rising and now dying. As erst Dodona's priestess heard The oak leaves prophesying. Was it the half unconscious moan Of one art and mateless. Tbe weariness of un.-liared power. The loneliness of gieatnesa ? 0 dawns ot sunsets, lend to hint Your beauty ami your wonder. Blithe sparrow, sin tho summer song His solemn shadow under! flay lightly on his slender keys, O wind of summer, waking For hills like these the sound of seas On far off beaches breaking ! And let the eagle and the crow Kest on his still green branches, When winds shake down his winter snow In silver avalanches. Tne brave are braver for their cheer. Tbe stronijest need assurance. The sigh of longing makes not less Th s lesson of endurance. .Yftr 1'ori Independent. AN IMAGINARY RIVAL inn: 3 PATLIST, U2A2 MAIN CSOSS STESST. rVL E. W. BLOUGH, i HI0T1THIC THTS1CAS A.VD SI IGEO.V Te&ierr Mf .en-Ires to the pe"H So""f I I-4TV11.IJ. yll la towa oreouairy prompily I rwu ran t foand at otoee dT night. S m cLrar ot Dlaiaund, over Knerrr's T-L H. S. KIMMEL t tew1 h prnfeJihioai er1o to ta. elU-1 naufSiiceTWtatidVk-iDliy. lnleprotewl.. t. tuicMi be raa b hand at an voice, u. .u w exi -A U liaaioni. nn TT RRUBAKERtf-ndere his I ml tn th. etltieos of Sob rwacl TKinitT. ome. tn ratdeaea oa Mala nnet t of the Diamond. TMl WM. RAUCH tenders hie i F pr T1' al terrkes to tbe elUseniof Som-1 lTVItltT. I te dunr east of Wayno fc BrkeWle I mr.Bre Aure. I I. '. DK.8.J. M'XILLEN. (GrUulc Drfirtr. Ctrf, fr.i mttentloo to the Preeervatloa of -nrneeih. Artini ineenen. jiu jirn:eed taUjtartory. t'lB in i- hi .. p ftalrt. Eatraae. on dor west : Jewelrr Store. oetaim. CURTIS K. GROVE. (East from Court House,) Somerset, Penn'a. DIJOHX BILI5. UENTIST. I -4m ap naln is Cook A BeeriliaBlock , Somer- D8. WILLIAM COLLIN?, I.ENTIST. SOMERSET. PA. 'Swta krttii Kirk .iww Rord a Iraa em f, cm t all time, be find prepar- w: .imlf ol wor. rack as tuuaa. reaa 34 MtncUna; Ac. ArUfirtal teeth of all ktnda, e tie ben aiaterlal tnierted. tJpeatlonj "two. Tl?v. J. K. MILLER has perma- Utrr,-'.i located Is Herttn t th. nrartle. of u office oupoatu Charlea Krtln- . ' aDT.Kl'?-a M anafaetarer of BICGES, SLEIGHS, CARRIAGES, SPUISG WAGOSS, BVCK WAGOSS, AND EASTERN AND WESTERN WORK Fnrnlihed oa Short Notice. Painting Done on Short Time. Mr work ! Bad. oat of 7rof AIj. Sf Atoned wd, and th. tett irem am urn, sanstaa Ually onitrurteH, Neatly KinUhed, and W it-ranted to Give Sfafira. I Zaiplcy Csly First-Class Vorkisea. Ref airisa; of AH Eindidn My Lis. Dos. oa Short Notice. riCES itEASOSABLE, and . All Work Warranted. Can and ExanhM air Stork, and Learn Prices. I do Waaon-werk. and furnith Meirea f Wlnd Milla. Keir"her the places and eall in. CURTIS K GROVE, ( East of Coort Hoaae,) aprSO-Ijr. SOMERSET, PA. THE GREAT FOR LIVER DISEASE. Symptoms: Albkkt a. Hoasa. J. Soorr Warns. HORNE & WD i anccasaoaa to EATON & BROS, . n trriMU nvn ivi. Send a. a l-eato Dueure. aad b mail will jmfree a patK.e of itolpIc ot large ,. Trie, inat vm iun jwi. w. at am tint yoa ra money laer than "'lice etK n America. AU about the S200.0. etat. with (Kb box. Aaent. wanted eery ". Methereri, at all eicee. for all th. time. i"" ""'r- u wur .Jt ""lr. own vn l'l HPn A ITPVITP r .n.rr. turau vurkwi atiateiv i .a i i- . r r a ia en w r,.ii r. . U. HaUJtTACoroni.no, Bitter or bad taste In moat a : toogae coaled whit, or eovered with a brown far : pata in tho back, aide or joints often mistaken for Rbeamatlna : t letaa etf a mew. x sometime. naaea and watwbrash. or fndlareetion : n.uilearj and arid eructations : tw el. alternately ec.nlT. aad lax: .afarfcwt. Iom of memory, with a painful tenMtion of bar. lna failed to do enmethlng which ought to bar. been d. , aleAIIII ; low cpiriti : a thick. yellw appearance of ih. ekfa and eye. , a dry cough : fever ; reetieenera : th. urine I sranty and blirh-eolorea, and, 11 allowed to stand, depos Its a sediment. SIMMONS LIVER RECULATOR Pl KELT TEVETABLE. A EtTactaal Speciac Far MALARIA. DYSPEPSIA. XSTlPATIOrT. B1LIOISNESS, SICK HEADACHE, JAI'NDIC'E, MINT AL DEPRES SION, BOWEL COM PLAINTS ETC- ETC- ETC It If aenerally wed tn the South to aroa. th. Torpid Liver to a healthy action. It acts without dlnurbauco to the rvrtem, diet or occupation. It rearwIAfe tka I.lver. and raaeef th. bil. to act a. tbe parue. The excess of bile being remored. tUteV is orodnced, and health it perfectlv reoret. Th. Regulator I given with .arVf. sod the nmppiest retult to the most delfa-aie infant. For all diseases tn which a laxative, alterative or purgative is need ed it will give th. most perfect aitefectlon. The OienpeK, PmrtU end Bell Familg Medicine fa 4c Uarld ! THERE IS Bl T OSE S1M.X0SS LIVER Mf kEUlLATOlii See that yoa get tbe srwaalw, with the reel M oa front of Wrapper, prepared only by J. H. ZEILIN A CO., tout rRoraisToaa, - PHIL' A, PA. lull-aWw $500,000 A YEAR Twas the last roe of summer Left blooming alone," trilled Susie Ford, as ehe scoured away on the pantry shelves intent on setting her tnsk done betimes, for hadn t ''Cousin John promised to. drive her to C that afternoon, and Sueie dearly loved to go to especially when pleasant. kindlv Cousin John handled the reins. Susie was a bright little body, not particularly noted for beauty, unless clear, blue eyes: a goodly quantity of reddish-brown hair and a happy disposition constitute that desirable quality. She was an orphan and had lived here on the farm with Aunt Esther Holmes ever since her mother Aunt Esther's only sister, had died, leavine her a helples. lit tle infant dependent on the kindness of relatives. Aunt Esther never regretted hav ing taken the little Susie to her heart and home. Her bright face and sweet voice were a cheerful in novation on the quietness that gen erally prevailed at the farmhouse. And Susie, naturally affectionate, loved her home and every animate thing upon it, from Aunt Esther and her stepson John down to the little chicks and guinea fowls which she fed every morning. Late in the afternoon Susie was safely ensconced on the front seat of the dearborn, with cousin John be side her, a basket of eggs on ber lap to be exchanged at the store tor and spices, and a basket stowed un der the seat to bold the results of their shoDDine. "Now, don t forget to call for the mail, John, aad don't upset Susie, was Aunt Lathers Darting injunction. For Cousin John, dear reader, was astudentand dreamer, ujust home from college," Susie would have proudly informed you, and was apt to go about with nia head in the clouds, to the rick of his own and other people's safety. The air w MWH-t With the BCent nf r,rrhri nd field, the dust was I ot too st-oc, but too late. too style. In a moment cousin John, who had also heard the wheels, has tened out and sreeted the party warmly. They lieard him invite them, especially pressing the ladies, to come in and stay for tea ; but they declined, Ed Thorne adding mischievously : "Draw it mild old chum. As a rals these girls never refuse anthing ; but I suppose they don't want to frighten your mother too muoh just at first" Miss Longstreet told him to mind his horses and not their conversa tion or some one else would be frightened, and so with laughter and many charges from Ped to come up to see them, they drove off. And this was bvi the beginning of a ser ies of driving and pleasure parties inaugurated and carried out in the weeks to come. Susie was always included in the invitations, but somehow she did not enjoy them verv much. She and Helen Long street became very good Iriends, but she always felt abashed by Nettie Thome's exuberant spirits and gay manner. In most of their parties Ed Thorne was almost the shadow of tbe stately Helen, and Cousin John always watched after Susie's comfort, but somehow JNettie seemed to have tbe pleasure ot his company most of the time. All things come to an end, and so tbe pleas&nt summer days slipped by and Mrs Thorne and tbe voucg people were preparing for their flight city-ward. Aunt Esther had prom ised Miss Jjongstreet to let busie spend a few weeks in town with her and preparations for the visit were now hurried lorward, butsusie took but a languid interest in them.. She puzzled Aunt Esther sorely with nothing apparently the matter with her, yet she seemed to be losing her color and was listless and mdiner ent ; even the shopping for tbe pro posed visit seemed to give her but little pleasure. t. It was the eve of Susie'sdeparture for ihe city and ber new Saratoga trunk (a present from Cousin John) stood strapped and ready m the hall. She had been foi a wali through the orchard, and as she was coming back by the lane she met him nufitmg for her, W hy, here is my little red bird," he said, gayly with a suggestive pull at her hair. I have been searching high and low for you, and had about reached the conclusion that you had depart ed lor parts unknown by yourself, without waiting for the morning " "Hey little one, is that so," with another pulL Susie did not answer there seemed to be a lump in her throat and she could not "See here," he continued, "how do you like my farewell gift?7' ' I think it is lovely," said Susie, finding her voice ; "so large and roomy, and just; theAthing every way." ' Large," said cousin, in a puzzled tone' "and roomy ; why child, where are your eyes ?" Susie looked up and then stopped short, with an exclamation of pleas ant surprise. Cousin John held in his hand a slender gold chain, from which depended a beautiful dead gold locket "There, take it," he said, it won't bite you." She took it from bim and sprung the catch, and then stopped short again. In one side he put Aunt Es thers picture, in the other his own smiled up at her. "I did not want you to foiget your home folk?, you see." he said, "you will be meeting such charming peo ple at Miss Longstreet 's." "That will never be," exclaimed Susie, vehemently. "No, I think your affection for Aunt Esther is as enduring as the hills', but poor me, you see, that's the rub. I suppose you will learn the ways of most city girls and be come quite a heart breaker, in fact be initiated into the mysteries of the charming art known as flirting," he continued, with tine disgust Susie looked at him in surprise. "Don't mind me, dear." he said in his usual tone, "your going away has spoiled my temper." "If you don't want me to go I won't," Susie said, flatteringly. "What? and lose all the fun and tbe sights ? No, we are not so mean as all that. Only dou't forget us quite," opening the gate for her and . . i . . i . i men stopping snort at a giauce at her face. "Susie : he exclaimed, but Susie hurried on. He caught up to her. "Susie, wait one mo ment. I had not intended to tell you this for awhile, not for a year, perhaps, you are so young, but I cannot help it. Susie, dear, I love you, love you dearly ; answer me, do you care anything for me ?" But Susie turned ber bead. "It is as I thought; I have spoken too soon I have frightened vou," he said. But Susie turned at this and said, All A boat Teeth. "A woman with fine teeth and a sweet breath cannot be ugly," was a saying ot Jean Jacques Kosseau that modern dentists never tire of quot ing. BeautifuL,white,even teeth nev er tail to attract admiration to their possessor, while a mouthful, or even two or three protruding teeth will mar the highest type of beauty. Some otherwise pretty mouths are rendered unsightly by an overabun dance of teeth which are so crow ded as to overlay one another, and if the upper .lip be short, the effect is anything but agreeable. Others have too long upper teeth that are known as "squirrel teeth" and make it difficult to keep the mouth closed. With the present perfection in den tistry the first defect can be readily corrected by extracting one or more ot the teeth loosening tne others and turning them in a natural position. Nothing can be done with "squirrel" and "hog teeth" but to replace them with false ones, which are nowa days better than the original, and besides being perfectly comfortable defy detection. All cannot have perfectly white teeth, for there is as much difference in the shade of en amel as there is in hair, but soiled, unkept teeth are an abomination. Whether false or natural the same care is necessary to neatness no less than health. The most common disease of the teeth is tartar, a calcareous deposit doe to the excess of lime in the sui- vi and a lack of care in cleaning. This annoyance has received the most careful consideration of medi cal dentists, and there are almost as manv theories current as there are students. Some enthusiasts on tbe subject of germs uphold the theory of animalculse. They advance the argument that the insect is supplied with tentaculars or feelers which enable it to grasp and gather in the sediment contained in liquid and some solid fjods, just as tbe coral appropriate tbe lime of salt water. These zoophytes make their habita tion on the part of the gum which projects up between the teeth, it is noticeable that in certain localities where hard or mineral waters are found, the people are more troub led with tartaric teetb than those who consume suit water. While manv erudite stuuenis noia to mis theory, the common belief is tnat particles ot food are allowed to col lect on the flap of tbe gum overlap ping tbe back of the teeth forming a lodgment for the lime in the saliva. Said a dentist: It takes some ittle time to dense the teeth proper lythat is, using freely the vertical movemen .nd going over the whole set twice at least, the last time with clear wa ter, to remove any jot of tooth powder that might have been left As for the brush, we always recom mend just as hard and stiff a bristle as may be used without making tbe gums bleed. Irritation will not hurt them, but it is not saf to rup ture them. On the other hand, a soft bristle is little better than noth ing, for the hairs bend under pres sure and tail to clean the surface to which they are applied. Disease of the gums and injury to the teeth from spurious dentifrices are not common, but there is danger nevertheless to be apprehended by some preparations. Nearly all pow ders contain borax, an element that is very cleinsicg, but deleterious to tbe gums and teeth. Strong tooth soaps are highly injurious on ac count of the powerful alkali they Train Talk. "WelL Jonny, my little man," said the Sunday-school teacher, as he took a small boy on his lap in a crowded car, "did you have a nice time at the picnic ?" "Naw," replied Johnny, with a look of disgust mingling with the pie-stains upon his innocent face. "Did some one act rudely to you?" inquired the teacher, "or rere yoa sad because your poor little sick sister had to stay at home ?" "Naw," Johnny replied again ; ' dida t have no tun at alt Me an Tommy Jones climbed inter a tree an cut the rope of a awing so Bui Wilson an' his girl would kerflop inter the mud, but Bill he got onto us in time to save hisself. That spoiled de hull proceeding fer me. rsever had no kind o luck at all at them picnics." "I see." observed a traveler from Minnesota, "that farmers down East are beginning to pot up lots of barbed-wire fences. I can't see what they want of wire fences in a coun try where there is so much limber?" Well, you just go down to New York and try farming and vou'll find out" spoke. up a farmer from the East "I spent $430 last year putting barbed wire fences on my farm, and I calculate that I've saved the whole amount this season.' "Saved it how?" "Why, in time of hired men. A hired man will sit down on a rail fence to rest every time he comes to the end of a furrow, but a barbed wire fence well I guess not" "Yes, sab," said a colored passen ger in the smoking car, "I argue dat a black man can get long jus as well as er white man if he'll only work and 'tend to business. Now, dare s me and ny wife. e live in Jnyunnapolis, an' make money an' save it too, ebry yeah. Fo' yeahs ago we started up in buines, an by close 'tention we've built it up so's we now run it day an' night sah, an' we's doin' right welL" "What is your bu.-iness, uncle?" "Laundry business, sab. My wife she takes iu washin' in de davtime, an' an' " "Well?" "An' I I takes in washin' durin' de night." "Yes," said a red faced man in the smoking car, "I'm a temperance lecturer. If I do say it myself I've made a good reputation down in Kentucky, wheie I live. By the way, I heard the breakman say the next s. using iree y m vwuwi 8t wa8 f di wm take t instead of the horizontal, t . r . , ... mft , Certainly. But I thought you said you were a temperance man?" "So I am. I always take a drink before meals and one before going to bed ; but if a man don't do worse than that he ia a good temperance man down where I live. Here's looking at you !" An Ekqme)atTramp. A stupid looking tramp knocked a. tae aoor 01 one 01 the nnest resi dences in Austin, and was received by the lady of the house, who ex pressed some curiosity to know what he wanted. "Please, mum, give me a dime to get a glass of bread 'scuse me, I mean a loaf of beer." "I hain't got no money," the lady replied. "Ain t got no money ? Then, mad ame, you should move into a cheap er house, so you will not deceive tbe humble tramp by the gorgeousness of your residence. You are living beyond your means. Economy is wealth." "Now you clear out of here or I'll call my husband." "Cut down your expenses, mad ame cut down your expenses, or sooner or later your husband will be in my fix. I had just such a wife as you, and that is what has brought me to tbe condition I am now in. Reduce your expeises, madame.and some of these days you may have a dime a whole dime which may be the means of preventing some hungry, thirsty fellow-mortal from committing suicide ; or it may be a quarter, a coin of the value ot twen ty-five cent", that will upholster the clouds of his despairing soul with a silver-plated lining and his stomach with bock beer. Fair lady, good bye." Ter&s Sifting. The CcmfeMlona f a smoker. Y'es, it is a terrible bondage. It is a slavery. Y'es, I inhale the smoke, and then blow it out again. It is very sillv, is it not? I do tbe same thing with my breath. Away with this useless breath. Some breaths are much pleasanter far, far away. hy do I smoke cigars ? .Because I am the biggest and therefore the cigar cannot help itseiL it is an economical habit ; tbe smoke of tbe cigar keeps the moths out of my hair. 1 hen 1 use tobacco to pre serve human lite, aoience tells me that three drops of the oil of tobacco placed upon the tongue ot a rattle snake or a dog wili kill either or both of them in a minute. I trem ble to think how many times I walk ed in the very shadow of death be fore I began to carry a plug cf to bacco around with me. Now when I meet a mad dog, I am secure. He may bite me, but 1 will kill him. The cannibal who eats me will dream that night that be got hold of the wrong prescription. Et H'tr- de-Uf. Carina; a rfearloaa Man. On the boat fcoing up the river the other day was a couple of whom everybody soon took notice. It was plain enough that they had had a row, and that the wife was mad as a wet hen. When she had taken a seat the husbacd walked up and down and g'owered at every body and seemed to murmur threats of vengeance. On the deck, sitting by himself waj4 a rwi-ahirtml rif-ruti giant of a chap about forty years of age. rresentiy the woman gathered up her parcel. and walked over and shook his hand and sat down beside him and began a cheerful chat ex plaining, however: "My husband ia very jealous of me, and I want to bother him." "All right marm," replied old Hercules. "Just chatter and chin to your heart's content and I'll larf and slap my leg where the applause should come in." The bold action puzzled the hus band for a few minutes, but present ly he walked up to the pair and said to the man ; " Are yoa an old acquaintance of hers?" I should remark that I was. your honor. Knowed ber for the List thir ty odd." MH'm. Who are you?" 44 They calls me William the Con kerer when they have time; when they don't they cut it short k Bill the Conk. And what may your own handle be ?"' "Humph I Mary, come with me !" " I'm entirely comfortable," she replied. " Mary, I want you !" 14 Which is to remark." said Wil liam, as he rose up, " that when a lady puts herself under my protec tion, and a flv cent comes around with his chin muf"ic, Bill the Conk is in duty bound to ertect her. Stranger, you skip !'' "Sir!" . " Which is to say that you will skiD or swim !" William reached out but the hus band retreated and sat down at a safe distance, and for two long hours he must have suffered torture. The wife chatted, William slaoped his leg, and the passengers winked; and as the couple landed at one of tho club houses the man in the red shirt handed the lady ashore like a cavalier, and called out : " I tumbles to the object, me lady and if William the Conkerer can be ot assistance a"aio. list gin me a blast on your loghorn, and I'll be thar till death." Mrvit Fret: Fres. Sleeping- Itoon. Draperies. A Iteminlacence of Grant. JIui delay. HATS AXD AND CAPS. ? Stork It all NEW, aad has been SELECTED WITH GREAT CARE. It euneins ia part f ll azi lisea Sardier iS, Slirts, Uaderrear, Ji""1 it. Th. irtleles are too nrmeroo .rr'6- All goad. fu.LIi AT PI.PI LAK AolutUl g RLUCK. PAUL, U CASEBEETt. PITTSBURGH, PA. ii ' ' (VJI i a SPRING. 1885. NEW GOODS EVE2Y SAT SPECIALTIES Mra. CHARLES HOFFMAN. KERCHAUT TAILOR U Hm T Itey-e UTCI STILES Ei LOWEST KICES. wnmcTion guaranteed. somerset i. Lnaraidarias, lace MillbMry, WkHt Seats, Haas etnkwfs, Drm Tiiaeiitfs, Hstiary, Gtaeea, Ceriets alia aad Marias Uawsrwtar, la fiats' aad Cii4ra't Cl.ti.lag. Fancy 6 cost. Yarns, Ztshtrs, ita riils ef All Kiads far FANCY W0H, Gents FEraisMii Goals, k. 4c. vera raraoaass is anracrrcuT ourrras. Orden hj Mail attended to with Prompt Dess and liMtcli nicelv laid by tbe recent rain, and Susie enjoyed her ride to and from Statement af the Imerieaa, Xatioaal " wfu"" lu"" " . r .mi r.aada VnrM Ta ' She transacted Aunt Lsther s numer l. 8. aad Caaaia txprtsi Ce.'Sn oug commiegion8 at the mer store Tray, A. l. carefully, while Cousin John called J''ThrUt the pstoflice and bargained with E:".n2r.M proprietor of the general book Uiien. iiKt4iiae tti.theTer7e0aidf.il Iceland news stand tor some second- wonoenai rawnina puoeneea 07 ut won m. eraa." Mr. Benedict, of Troy, hi a vwteraa la th. express basinaa. Thirty-three years." h. said to yonr reporter, " I're stood at this desk." It Is tbe discipline of years of experience which rtrea hand volumes. At tbe tea table that evening, while Aunt Esther and Susie were discussing the afternoon's purchase, John looked ud from the letter he FOR Hay Fever. CATARRH, and Threat Trouble. ccbb inmiim. aasacata ad aLsarLBMirnta. Price 50 Ctt, a Bex at Drarrttts ar !! aaa er FnmpAitt. Alloa CaraUata Utg. Ca. 15 Bwart S. T. amgl.lM. hint the Doeitton he bald. In th. trast and esteem ef thCM three areat eornoratteae. " W. bar. a baldness of aaui.cae a year, and I're been atwnt from ibis onion dw.j a asonin lb ail isamm.. j: ..j..t I aas slthoueh Uut eonfes that many time. Ire, " Icaulu6 worked here when satlerina; areat pain, for I hare t mother, do Boldt 8 take DCarderS I teen treabied all lite wit a Mlloanees and T i- WkA. H.n liv had tauxnne ao radnnrf V hV. VeS. 1 DelleVe SO. hit and weak that 1 aadaeapfietlte, and aydicenioa wholly disordered . I ts lr.ed eartoas remedies, bat almost two years I happened to hit apon Dr. Kennedy s FA VOBITE fiEEMEDY. Alter asina only eae bottle or so I becaa to leal stronger la eeery way. The treat ditncalty ha. beea with any digeettoa, bat this seem, w recuiate It per. led It. 1 haea. sir. areat faith ia Ir. Kennvdys FA VOKI 1 1 KEN EIY. I hare toaa;ht and 1t ra a areat deal ef it to th. poor around here ; tboee. you know, wno bar. ao money to bar medi cine at asy kiad. for thar. are a areat maay troab- led with bunas citseaars sni saneroawnnonsia. I alwa-s keep FAVOB1TE B EM ELY ia th. Boose. 1 euoaiocr n tn. sen bmoictim bit in. , , ... - i;u biood io the market, wait, i moat attend tatai bye to each other, as anything like Cousin John paled. late?'' "Why. yes. makes you ask ?" ""Nothing partic ular, only Ed. Thorne tells me here that his mother, his sister Nettie and Miaa Iinoalrpft havri HPCUred board there for a month or so in fact have returned home ettie lhorne was already taken up their quarters married, and strange 10 relate, on ne a.'ked ; it is some one else, then ?' "No, but I thought you loved some one else, and that some one Nettie Thome." "Nettie Thorne !" be exclaimed. "A madcap like Nettie Thorne ! No indeed. Why, she is engaged to be married herself, and was when she first came here. Her intended hus band is even now returning from his trip abroad, where be has been on business connected with his firm. Susie, my darling, ia that your only objection to me?" And Susie's blushing face told him it was. a. a Susie went to the cit y and enjoy ed her visit extremely. Before she there." "Which means, said Aunt Esther, smiling, "that John and bis beloved books will have to say good sie acted as bridesmaid on tbe aus picious occasion. There la some talk of a double wedding to be next winter, the interested couples being matter for the Western nan of the city. H.T. ra .:.,. :,),;. . miU r.f VA and Ed Thorne and MlSS LOftgStrect and ....... . , . . ... UUlMlOO nAbUU-0 W. ' veil low twrw mtm rmuv wwwo w wuvu - . , re htm m Ancnst. I want to know him." 1 left I Settle Thome IS Something nOt tO DC the veteran, still at his poet, reuAcina la health,1. v . .en and grate! ul to Dr. Kennedy. aapls-lav tuougus o. 4DMINISTRAT01VS NOTICE, a af Pelry Alwlna, dee'd, lata of Ooaemaagh Silvia wondered, firl like, if Net tie Thorne was pretty, whether Cons- ; in John admired her, and hoped she would see them all soon. Her wish letter of adminiAxatioa ea th. abtrra erta'e -ntlAed tho novt Haw haTlna bean araated to the wadcrslirned by the i" . . . . , proper antaoriiT, aotiea Is hereby aim -o aU j She W8S busy mixing blSCUlt for pernio, indebted to nM sMaU to make tmmedU , .w,n -v. hard the) HflUnd of It. payment and those hartna claim, acaiest the la wnen SDC neara IfltJ solum 01 same w present them daly authenticated for se. ; wheels, and looking from the Win Uemeat oa Tharaday, theSUday ofOeteoar, IMA, , . , - v. XI. St her tau red.nee7 dow saw a fine team, driven by Mr. BAACidiatoSr. Thorne, rattle up to the gate in great our hero and heroine, that is, if Aunt Esther's consent can be gained by the latter. If your hair is turning gray, don't use the poisonous dyes which burn out its life and produce many dis eases of tbe scalp. Ayer's Hair Vig or is positively harmless, and will restore the natural color ot the hair, stimulate its growth, and bring back its youthful gloss and beauty. contain. Charcoal should never be ry pie?" used nnles3 subjected to greai pres sure and intense heat It is cleans ing,rtfresbing,and considerable of an antiseptic, but a pernicious enemy to enamel, for it cannot be pulveriz ed so fine as to obliterate tbe needle like fineness of tbe fibres. Salt is to be preferred to carbon, as the crys tals are soluble, but it is not suffi cient for the requirements. It leaves the mouth refreshed and stimulates the circulation, but if the gums are sensitive it is apt to smart them. It is a safe rule to repudiate any pow der or compound, no matter how cleansing it may be to tbe teeth, that leaves the mouth parched and drawn. The best dentifrice known to science is a combination of orris root, English prepared chalk, and pulverized eucalyptus leaves, which any professional pharmaceutist will compound. The teeth are not intended to be used as nut-crackers, nor for break ing thread and tearing cloth. Acid spoils the enamel ; even lemons are injurious, though women rub the peel on their teeth and gums to make the one white and the other red, which use, Cazeuave says, pro-1 "Fast trains are getting to be all tbe rage," observed the conductor to an acquaintance, "but I guess our 'limited' is "till the fastest one in the business." "Oh, no," said the passenger, "nearly every day I take a train that runs so fast your 'limited' couldn't keep up with in five seconds." "What train is that?" A train of thought" "Waiter," said a gentleman in the dining car, "have you any gooseber- "No, sah, hain't carryin' any this yeah, sah." "Why is that?" "Well, you see, sah, they's sea's this seasum. Last winter was so cole an' stormy that it was mighty tough on de geese." uHi, there !" exclaimed a country passenger to the train boy, "come here." "What do you want ?" "Bring me one o' them ere Pa and JIa Gazettes we read so much about" To Destroy Sorrel, or Soar Graaw. All of the advantages of summer fallowing upon sandy, or light grav elly soil, may be .secured not only without loss of element of fertility, but with essential gain in this res pect It is now September. The field may be plowed and sowed to rye without manure, or with two hundred pounds of super-phosphate to the acre. This will soon start and make a fine growth, and in six weeks or two months, according to i uftinn mav Ka Tklnevpci nr.Hpr t h nr. duces caries, that cruel enemy to tb oughly' t, and sowed again mouth. Hot as well as cold water is injurious as a wash ; tepid water is better tbe year round. One Sunday last summer, before Gen. Grant's disease was discovered, he sat on the ocean porch of his cot tage at Long Branch. The friend who was with him happened to speak of Garfield, when the General, who was suffering from the effects of bis fall on tbe eve ol tbe previous Christmas, said : " Do you know, as I have been obliged to sit day after day, waiting the slow recovery of my injury, I have often thought of poor Garfield as he lay at Elberon, looking wist fully out on tbe ocean and waiting the certain but slow and tedious approach of death. In such a dy ing it seems to me a man must suf fer all the torments of the damned to know that death approaches, and to feel so utterly powerless and impotent in its face ! Between such a lingering death and a sudden death, any honest man, prepared to meet bis Maker, would infinitely prefer the latter." The General's words made only a light impression at the time, but were quickly remembered when his disease was developed. Making Up for W Time. Everybody smokes in Holland ; that is, every male body. Walk the streets of Amsterdam early in the morning and observe the most di minutive office boy sweeping the sidewalk, polishing the doorplate, or cleaning the windows, with a six inch cigar in his mouth. It is no uncommon thing for a boy ten or twelve years old to address yoa seri ously : 44 A beetye yuur mijn beer as a peleeft" And sober gray-haired men give them the desired light and on. i nave seen a dot not lourieen to rye. 1 his will make a fair growth before winter, and start rampantly in the spring. About the middle of April, when it stands a foot high (not higher), turn it under, harrow well, and sow oats- When the oats are a foot high, they must be turned under, whether the ground is moist or dry. One should not wait for rain to make plowing easy. The ground may be well harrowed every third day, three or four times, and sowed with buck wbeatwbich should be turned under when it comes into Two colored friends, meeting on Austin avenue, held the following joint discussion : "So you has luff Kurnel xerger, has yer?" " 1 has luff him, and ef I goes back tn bim I hnpesumpfin may bust me wide pen." 44 1 s'pose be wasn't pleased wid yer?" No. sah ; he wur satisfied wid me in eb'ry resoec', and so was I pleas ed wid de kurnel in eb'ry respec' 'ceptin' one." "What was dat?" " He tole me nebber to 'tossicate myself 'ceptin' when he wus sober, bekase one ob us ought to be sober 'bout de place. I agreed to dat ar, an' kep' waitin' an' waitin' for my turn to quit bein' sober, an' it haint come yit. He's got de fu?t sober bref to draw yit so I tole de kurnel I couldn't stan' dat game no moah. Dat's de same as hesds I win tails you lose, so I luff him,an' now I'se gwinter make up for lost time. When last seen Gabe had been so successful in making up for lost time that he was showing a policeman the way to the lockup. Tera Si7i- Feet Down. Bearing in mind the danger from fouled air, we should exercue care in excluding from our bed-rooms all hangings or curtains of woolen or thick cotton materials, as especially liable to retain dirt and disease germ?, aud in this category I would lticluue carpels made of woolen or c-jilou. Hard wood floors, oil cloth, straw matting, in the order named, are certainly the best mate rials for use, if we study simply health. It fur other reasons we wish the warmth and diminution of noise procured by using woolen or cotton carpets, lay over the first named ma terial rugs that can be readily re moved and cleansed outride the room. Linen s ia es to exclude or mitigate the light at the windows, with lace or muslin curtains for es thetic effect are all that is allowa ble in a bedroom. Of equal import ance is tbe proper care of tbe bed and bedding. Bedsteads are usual ly made of wood. Metal is in every way preferable. A wrought iron or brass bedstead properly constructed, that is, of light weight mounted on castors, so as to be easily moved, meets every demand. Especially should we eeek one readily moved, if we would have it and its surroun dings properly cared for by servants. No articles, of whatever kind should be kept under the bed. To prevent this, dispense with " valances " and tuck in the bed clothes. Curtains about tbe bed are simply filters, sure to catch and retain the impuri ties, as the air from tbe lungs passes through them. The mattress should be made of elastic material, n ot giv ing way too freely to the weight of the body. Horse hair furnishes the best material. Cotton, wool, feath ers, the poorer substitutes. A well made hair mattrrss, r ting on a woven wire sp-Lig mattrass leaves nothing to be desired hygienically. Hair pillows are preferable to feath er pillows where we desire to pre vent heating the head. Linen is the best material for sheets and pillow cases, having less power of absorp tion than cotton. Blankets should be all wool and of the best quality attainable, as in this way we obtain a maximum of warmth and a mini mum of weight For the same rea sons cotton comfortables are not de sirable Dr. S. W. Dnelft in itwxl BUI Nye Geta Sat I'pna. peated. A sufficient quantity of humus will have been corporated .i- : l i 1 : . : v. i - years of age dining with his parents ZTXTxT in "Charles." said a sharp voiced wo man to her husband, "do you know that von and I once bad a romance lull blossom, ana we narrowing re- ia a railway car? at tbe table d bote at the Amstel Hotel, light a cigar when the waxed tapers wete passed, as they always are in Holland immediately after desert, and calmly puff away, much to the astonishment of the British matrons and British papas present An exchange says some go to church to weep, while others go to sleep. Some go their wives to please, their conscience others go to ease. Some, go to hear the preacher, oth ers like tbe solo screecher. Boys go to reeonnoiter, girls go because they oughter. Many go for sage reflec tions, precious few to help collec tions. A painting is called a rare work sometimes, because it isnt well done. When a man gets tight on whis ky be has to take tbe corn-sequence. three weeks, until the last of Octo ber, when rye may be sown with timothy or orchard grass, seeding with clover in the spring. A top- dressing of one hundred bushels of gas-bouse lime, made very hne ana spread evenly upon tbe snow in tbe early winter, would be a de cided advantage. After this treat ment, the land may remain in grass without trouble from the sorrel, but it should be topped dressed after mowing the first season, and occas ionally then after, with fine com post Scrofula, and all forms of scrofu lous diseases, are rapidly purged out by the nse of Ayer's Sarsaparilla. The reason why the world erows no better is because each one is try ing to convert his neighbor and neg lects himself. "Never heard of it, replied Charles in a subdued tone. "I thought yon hadn't but don't you remember that it was that pair of slippers I presented to you seven years ago last Christmas the Christmas before we were married that led to our union ? Yoa remem ber how nicely they fitted,don't yoa ? j believe it, would yoa ? I aimed my panic-price cane at the driver of a cream-colored car with a blue stomach, and remarked. "Hi, there!" I went inside, clear to the further ecd, and sat down by the side of a young woman who fill ed tbe whole car with sunshine. I was so happy that I gave the con ductor half a dollar and told him to keep the change. If by chance she sees this I hope she will remember me. Pretty soon a very fat woman came into the car and aimed for our quarter. She evidently intended to squat between this fair girl and my self. But ab, thought I to myself in a low rone of voice, I will fool thee. So I shoved my person along in the seat toward tbe sweet girl of the Bay State. The corpulent party, whose name I did not learn, bad in the mean time backed up to where she had detected a slight vacancy, and where I had seen fit to place myself. At that moment she heaved a sigh of relief, and assisted by the motion of the car, which just then turned a corner, she sat down in my lap and nestled in my bosom like a tired baby elephant Der reader, if I were to tell yoa that the crystal of my watch was picked out from under my shoulder blades the next day you would not e l. Charles, one day when we went to a picnic von had your feet np on a seat and when yoa wasn't loolcing I took your measure. But for that pair of slippers I don't be lieve we'd ever been married." A young, unmarried man sitting near by immediately took his feet down from a seat It takes half a life-time to do any thing better than any one else can do it if it is only pitching pennies at a hub. I will not strain your faith in me by making that statement but that was the heaviest woman I ever held. Boston Glte. Some Solid For a mild cathartic and efficient isnot tonic, use Baxter's Mandrake Bitters. Every bottle warranted. For Sale You can by C. N. Boyd. A ball educated man is as danger ous as a half broken hoise. Success, like other good things, is put up in small package. Thanks are cheap, yet we can pay half our debts with them. Great wealth ia like a great pile of manure; it only enriches one easily tree by its bark. tell a dogwood 'Ii I
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers