u u ,j-- -ii jJuP-Hs-i'-inj N"vi vnoMVA. Mtc'wa : i 1 Somerset Herald rms ofPublication. 14 erery Wednesday BoniiiiB a 3 00 tarn. If paid to sdvsnos : othrwl a w fariably b chanrwL labseripuon will t iseooi"ed mnUl all Var.rll OP- rtn"tert eK's ., whoo wbfern-n do ot Uk. out perwtUb.lldrpooiw lor ua wo- jINm removing on ostoffleetoaa ould Rm Bl tbe name ' th fono,r .tbe preet effloe. Address The Somerset Herald, Somen- P- ED. W. RIESMER, ATTOBNtVATVW. V n tlnlnOoofcfc Berlu- Bick. Somerset Pa. t R. SCOTT, - j uu" bumerses Ft. - ATTOKSET-AT LAW, Somerset, Pa. ffTESDSllEY! L ATTUKN EY-AT-LAW, " Somerset, P - rr THFA'T. f' ATTORNET-ATXAW, Somerset, Penn'a. f B. SCULU . I ATTUKNETAT-LAW. Somerset, Fa. 4 1 BAKU. I ATTUKN Et-AT-LAW, Somerset, Fs, al to k.KKROTH. W. II. BITPEL. r i'FROTH RUPPEL, f AT1XIRNEYS-AT LAW. Lines, entrarted to their care will be 1 aolb BU-k. ATTOKNEVS-AT-LAW. . will K nmmlit- 1 jciyaneinir don. on resool'le terms. FlLLIAM II. KOONTZ. ATTUKNET-ATXAW. In Printinn House Kow. ATTOKNEY-AJAW.., Street, ucxt u to Sny- 4 ll.'l St I TO. jues rrr.ii, ArTOKNEY-AAW. ir. Mammoth Work, up "crow street, tNdleclfonS made, estS I. tlt.es examined, and all wal business Jed to with promptness and nileiny. 1 I Y is KIMMEL. ATTUKN EY-AT LAW, Somerset, Pa. j ruiTTs. ' ATTOKNEY -AT LAW snucrset. Pa. ie. op-stairs In Mammoth Blociu O. KIMMEL, ATTOKN EY-AT-LAW, Somerset, Pa. V attend tv all business entrusted to his eare jert and ativinlcir eounnes " cd fidelity. Omee on Main Cross street. jiSRYRSniELTs, " i ATTOKN EY-AT-LAW, ntT and Pension A(tt, Somerset, Pa. io'Mammotn lilat k. LENTINE HAY. i ATTOKN EY-AT-LAW 4 liesl-T in Real EM.te. S.mer t, P wl 1 to all I'Uflness entrusted to hit car witn f.ness and tulcty . Tiiinr uhT. I ATTOKN EY-AT-LAW Somerset, Pa, tl'pr.mptlT attend to all business entrusted m Mooev advnnred on collections, Ac. Ol- Mammoth Huildicg. hi. OGLE. p ATTOKNEY-AT LAW, Somerset !csrtm! business entrusted to my eare at d to with promptness and fidelity. Mi. j.'m. LOUTIIER, I ( Formerly of Stoyestown.) Ilocatrd ternianentty In Somerset fr the ! ... i.i. . 4...!.. firflM 3linr A est Ot f.A Hotel, in rear cl Drug Store. majZl. JR. E. W. EIX)UGH, i. Ml orATIIIC HIYJSICAS ASD St RCEO.V j hip ti 1 i' " i-.. " - - Tt(-lnltT. fallf tn town or country promptly . " j i 1 iu .iv ntiit . i t' 1 1 I - nil luyiw uv vimm; prolesfionally ensured. Miittin -a diat corinT vi IHamond, over Knepjer a M. H. S. KIMMEL I tenders his professional service to the eltl t i Simenetand YtrtnltT. 'nlessrole.'sioB Imueii he ran be lound at his tus, oa Halo f ist ot the liiamond. T? TT Tir;TTTl KFR ffrdora Ins ..rwi.Ml uwLwi to t tin eittoens of Kom ind vknity. otttca la rejJdenoe ca Main sent el the HtsmoBd. ,R. W.M. RAUCH tenders his 1 protvaslonal services te the cltiiens of Sum 1 .intl virtnltT . 1 i He duur cast of Wayne A Berkebile's (ture store. IR. JOHN RILTP. I l'ENTIST. up Jtalri InCw.ii A Keerits Block , Somer- ilL AVI T.LI AM COLLIN?, DENTIST, SOMERSET, PA. k lu Mammoth Block, ahnr Itnyd'l Itrus; where he can at all limes be toond prepar- lo all kinds of work, such as nllinc. ren . eitrac'.lnit. fee. Anlticlal teeth ot all kinds. tented. the Pest material Inserted. (ipeniioBS HOWARD WYNNE, M D. JnllSsTO W.V, PEXXA. uses of the V.v Y.r. Kose and Throat. lul and Kxolusiva practice. Hours. 9 a. m. to Liuikcr k urevs lituek, ax nialu bt. r. THOMPSON, M. D. SIKOEWN DENTIST, Johnstown. Pa. I hd a vrofesslonal exterienca ol more tlian ryear". Huo 1 eeth a SrutiaLTY. n.iins No. XW Main street (up stairs) orer inner s iianiware More, u will ne neoes r persons who waal work done to make en. luieou behirekaad. ctl 83. L J. K A1TT T Kit h tm.. rt.entiy located In Berlin for tha praetlw o( leMioa. Omce opposite Charles Krisstn-p"- ajir.asVTO.tX. e 3AM0ND HOTEL, KTOYSTOWN. l'KNN'A. it popular and wen known hoaee has lately tlorfouniilyaadiiewKrrimed with aU new l-est ol lornitare. wktck ku made K a rery stoppiat; plarn lor the traaelma pahllc. aad puoois eanaot ha sarpasswl. aU e ir( eUas, wiik a tern. pbnc aati attaetaad i. sass. Also iaive and room stabllasT. flans buatdiE eaa be had at the lowest uo- pnes, Ij the week, da j or meal. SAMlELCt'STER.Prop. . . 1. or sf sasoona tstojaiuw k" KEcuroirs notice. r ? ' MeT.TS.ale Bos- oagh SoBerset fm. tJHtH?r,t7 . - j . k " . nsmeiMat. war. "K4 w ALT EE. txecutrix. PPI7P Sd eenu lorpost t"T ' " . and reoeire Ire. a "lOt RHR K. .Mil Kill U - . mil . ircia Drat boar. Ilt. 'JrtMl'etis the work- 'mi liie VOL. XXXIII. NO. 14. G-EEAT BAEGrAINS -IN- BRASS AND COPPER KETTLE LARGEST STOCK At Lowest Prices Ever Offerefl, at WteMe an! Retail- NANVFACTI KER AND JOBBER IN Plain, Stamped, and Japanned Tinware. RANGES, STOVES AND HOVSE-FlRXISHINO GOOIS, CO'PPE, SHEET-IRON WARE, AND BRUSHES. 49-Orden Solicited from Merchants Se'linfr Oools In In My I.lne.-S 280 Washington Street, - Johnstown, Pa. BARGAINS BARGAINS! Our Entire Stock Must be Reduced This Month, To Make Room for Our IMMENSE STOCK -OF1- FALL BOOTS HD SHOES, If You Want Some of the BIGGEST BARGAINS That was Ever Offered in the Bool, Shoe and Slipper Line Corne to S f U Ah Month. SHOE STORE Ho. 212 Main St., Johnstown, Pa. A NEW ENTERPRISE. E. M. Lambert & Bro., Xaamfactarers of and Dcaien In . r , f liie Pise anS Hemloci Sftiles- We kare aecored a 2sl E W IVTTTiXi, And nsDataetar ShUi(tle on tli MIchlsraa Priueiple. We cel. and eunsiantlr keep oa band twearadesof the rariuus kind of S blue tea. Ws anarantee ear Sbinales to b swpsriur to aur in tbe Onintr. Shall b pleased to hare partte eonM and inspect oar abiBclet betura boric; dsawliera. Address .. E. M. LAMBERT & BRO., LAM BF.HTSV11XE, SOXKKSET CO., Pa, uucliem. STARBARDTER S 8 ? U o (ESTAliLISIIED 1877.) CHARLES. I. HAEE1S0N. 35. J. PEITTS. Prrsidcnt ' Cashier Collections ntvl la all parti or tbe United States. CHABGEtf MODERATE. Parties wtsblac to se B-r Vest eaa be ac commodated It drn ot. S ri York in any sum. tillretions mad. with n.'ates.. ('. S. Bonds hoUKlit and s-dd. Mcy ad Tlaalles secured by one ol PieimW'seelel.rat.'d sate, with ft Sar Itent k Yale t-M W Um sura. ACCOUNTS SOLICI-XD. AsTAUlem bolldayi o!erTLls Albkst A. Kobkb. J. Scott Wad. HORNE & WARD ecccKBEoas to EATON & BROS, X0. 27 FIFTH AVENUE, PITTSBURGH, PAl NEW GOODS - SVEEY PAY SPECIALTIES m Imbroiderles, lacett Millinery, Whit Goods, Hand Verchieft! Dress Trimmings, Hosiery, Gloves, Corsets, Musttn and Merino Underwear, In fants' and Children's Clothing. Fane; Goods, Yarns, Zephyrs, Mate rials of AH Kinds for FANCY WOftK, Gent's Firaisig Goofls. k, te roCR FATSO V AO X 18 KK6PCCTITTL1.T SOUCTTkD. J4tQrdcr by Mail atiemlfJ to with rrorupt-nt-ss and Dispatch. POLLS "THE OLD RELIABLE." 25 YEARS IN USE. , The Greatest Medical Triumph of the Ago. Indorsed all over the World. SYMPTOMS OF A TORPID LIVER. Loss of appetite. Nausea, bowels cos; tive. Pain in the Head. with a dull sen: sationjn the bacJparJPinjindor the sboulder blade, fullness after eat ing, with ajlismcUnatioTi jojexertion of body or mind, Irritability of temp er, Low spirits,Lossot memory ,with a feeling of hayingjieglectedsome doty, wearlnesSyDizziness, Flntter ing of the Heart, Do its beforfAeeyes, Yellowl?kin.HeadacheiRestlessnes8 at night, highly odloredTUrine. IF THESE WARJflSGS ARE U5HZEDED, BI2IC33 II31AEI3 WSJt 80CM Bl BITXUFIS. TUTT8 FILLS are especially adapted to neb rases one dose) effects such a change of feeling as to astonish tbe sufferer. They I nrre.se the Appetite, and range, Ibe body to Take sa Flesh, thos the sys tem is nourished, and hy their Tostse Art ion on the Isla-estive o'rna. Rs;s. far Sitool. are proiliired. Price islj cents. TUTTS HAIR DYE. Grat H Ant or Whisk eus rhanareil to a Gixmkt Black by a ample application of Jiis Irc. It imparts a natural color, acts lnKtnlltaneoaly. Hold by Druggists, or nent by expre on rc-oeipt of t)l. Office. 44 Murray St.. New York FASHIONABLE CUTTER & TAILOR, Harlot; hal sanjr sears xperleot s J 1 in an Dranehe ol I wV V be Tallorliis; bas. zL lness. i awarantes T. bstlstacUoo to all I . who mar call bd- 'tlwll .. i. and feror TTM. M. nOCHTEn.KK, Rantcrsett Pa. nurt - CHARLES HOFFMAN, (A dots Henry Heffley'a itar J .,' LITEST STYLES ill LOWEST PRICES. Z3SATISFACTI0N GUARANTEED. SOMERSET, $66s wees at horn. 15 outfit tree. pay absolntelr tare. No risk. Cap ital not required. Header, II job ant bnslnes at which persons of either sex, jonns; or old, can make rreat par all the time tner work, wita absolute crrtaintj writelor parUcnlart ts H. Uaixxtt, Portlaial,Ms. LIERCHANT TAILOR Somerset lOCETHER. A fairy skiff in a stream was lying A skiff with a silken sail ; In a forest of fire the day way was dying, And daintily stirred the gale; When a maiden fair and a gallant gay Sprang into it lightly and sailed away Away through the purple gloaming. Xo moon looked down from the vaulted heaven ; They sailed by the light of stars, By the smile sereDC of the sisters seven And the ruddier glow of Mars. But the storm king rose in his grandeur grim, And Ihe stars swam into the distance dim. As they tossed on the tronhled water. The tempest ceased, and the broad deep river i Flowed on with unru tiled breast ; Again in high heaven the sisters quiver. And the wild winds sink to rest. There is calm below, there is peace above. And the eyes of t,he maiden are lull of love. They hear the boom of the mighty ocean ; Their blithe bark breasts its swell And westward glides with a gentle motion- But whither, I cannot tell. We know love's stream is not smooth for aye; . But the sweet stars shine as they sail away O'er the ocean of life together. THE SUBSTITUTE. Reverend M. Pennell. vastor of the First Society, Brookville, entered his house one afternoon in July with an expression upon his coun tenance 60 unlike the look of weari ness generally there visible, ' that his wife, noticing it, inquired : "What has occurred that affords you such evident gratification V "You know I was wishing tbat 1 might have a temporary relief from my cares but was unwilling to take a vacation because of my belief that no church should, even lor one bun- day, be without preaching?" "les. And 1 know you owe it to your people, not less than to your self, to rest from your labors ; so do ing, you could accomplish much more. Have you decided to go away for a season "Head that," he replied, passing a letter to his wife. She unfolded the missive, whose contents were : "C , N. Y, July 12, IS. ' Vff r Brother Fenncll : You will be surprised at hearing from your former classmate in Andover, be tween whom and yourself there has never been any correspondence ; but a few words will render all compre hensible. From my remembrance of your views respecting the duties of a pastor, and from what I have heard of your faithfulness, I appre hend that you would not sacrifice what you, perhaps unwisely, regard the welfare of your people to your physical and, of course, mental health and strength. "A young man whom I consider very gifted has been studying with nie for nearly two years, and would like to preach a few Sundays, exper imentally. Perhaps you wish to be absent from your charge for a month or six weeks, my friend would glad ly supply you pulpit during that time for no other compensation than his board. If, however, you shall wish to make him a trifling dona tion, it will be very acceptable, as he has to provide for himself entirely. "I shall be absent from home un til the middle of September; so, if you think proper to accept my sug gestion, please write to Mr. Thomas Smith, Boston, whither he is going to visit friends, on receipt of this. With kindest wishes, Fraternally yours, Wm. Blake." "You will avail yourself of the op portunity to recuperate your ener gies?" asked Mrs, Tennell, having finished the letter. "I shall. It seems too much like a dispensation of Providence to be neglected." "I am 60 glad." Mr. Pennell went to his library and wrote to Mr. Smith, mentioning the letter from "Erother" Blake and inviting him to substitute for him during the corning six weeks. Three days later Mr. Smith came to Brookville. He was 'of the medium height, slight, pale-faced ; had long auburn whiskers, worn a la Anglais, curly hair of the same hue ; blue eyes, that were 6harp, inquisitive, penetrating : regular, pleasing features , was evi dently not far from twenty-five. The following Sunday he occupied a seat in the pulpit with Mr. I'en uell, but took no part in the exer cises, except to offer the closing prayer. At the conclusion of the morning services the only one for the day the pastor introduced him to the more prominent members with the remark it soon became stereotyp ed: "Mr. Smith will preach for me while I am having the vacation which it appears to be my duty to take, and I think you will have no reason to regrei ine temporary change." Kvery one expressed rns pleasure at knowing that Mr. I enneli had concluded to rest ; no one doubted but that Mr. Smith would satisfacto rily meet all requirements. Indeed, the new comer Had al ready done much toward securing the favor of those who were to con stitute his congregation. "V bat a fervent prayer r 'How earnest he seems !" uHe is destined to become distinguished," and other like observations might have been heard, eotto voice, from the elderly people. The maidens whispered to one another, did you ever see such side whiskers ?" M hat magnificent eyes he has!" "Isn't he fine looking!" etc The next Sabbath the subject of his discourse was : "I wag a stranger and ye took me in. As a literary production it was masterly, and it was delivered in a manner that held the audience spell bound. j When he descended the pulpit, an old man, whose frame was bow ed and whom hair was silvered by e, extended bis hand and said, tremulously : ESTJBLISHJSX) 1827. SOMEllSET, PA.f WEDNESDAY. SEPTEMUElt 17, "Brother Smith, in my more than eighty yeara I have neyer heard so excellent a sermon as yours." "Thank you," returned Mr. Smith. Your kind words are encouraging," and a blush suffused his face. From that time his praises were on every lip. People who were no ted Sabbath-breakers went to hear him ; the prayer-meeting had an at tendance larger than it had ever be fore known ; the "sewing circle," usu ally discontinued through the hot months, was re-organized and of it he wa3 the moving spirit The young meu liked him ; the young women married as well as single fairly adored him. With reference to the gentler sex, he acted circumspectly, being cour teous toward all, but manifesting no S favoritism for anv of them. In a fortnight he was a3 popular as a clergyman could desire to be. "I should like to ask a great favor of you," he said to Mr. Campbell, president and caphier of the local bank, a ''pillar" of the church, as they sat in conversation one even ing. "Do not hesitate to ask any favor which it is in my power to grant," was the reply. "It is not exactly the thing for an huiiibl servant of the Lord to wear this ring," extending his shapely white hand, whereon sparkled a large diamond. "It indicates, a taste for display that, not commendable with the rich, is reprehensible when the wearer is poor and fitting for the vocation that is to be mine. I do not wear it as a matter of display, however, but because it is an heir loom, from which I have been un willing to part in the seasons of my direst need. The people cannot know my motive in having it appear upon my person, and will probably misapprehend it. I would ask, if you are willing, to give it a place in your safe at the bank." "Mont assuredly. Carry it there in the morning, and I will deposit it where it will be secure." "Thank you. My mind is reliev ed of a great responsibility." The next morning he went to the bank and saw his ring placed where Mr. Campbell convinced him it would te secure. After an absence of five weeks, Mr. Fennell returned to his charge and Mr. Smith went from Brook ville to a small village in Maine, where he had engaged to preach for a short time, he said. There was a wide and deep regret at his departure, and now a few of the cnurcn memDers especially those who bad joined under his ad- ministration freely expressed their wish that the lay preacher" might continue to substitute for the regu lar preacher, whom, such remarks reaching, deeply grieved. Finally matters settled into their former channel and moved on peace fully for the greater part, though not without an occasional disturbance such as the parish had not known prior to the advent of Mr. Smith. Towards the close of September a panic was created in the place by the rumor that the bank had been burglarized to the amount of nearly sixty thousand dollars a rumor that proved true. The day that this announcement was made Mr. Smith again came to Brookville to obtain the ring, which he had thought it best should re main in the safe while he was ab sent. Despite the gloom of those who had suffered by the burglary, they were glad to see him, and learning his loss, were so sorry as to almost forget their own. "Though the intrinsic value of the nns was considerable. 1 valued it chiefly because it had been in our family so many years handed down from one to another genera tion," he said; "but my loss does not deserve mention with that which some of you have experienced. It does make me feel a personal inter est in the affair" this to the direct ors and depositors "and I would suggest that you at once telegraph to New York for Mr. , one of the most ex pert .detectives in America. I regret my inability to remain and learn the result of your investiga tion. If you succeed in recovering the stolen property, I shall appreci ate your kindness if you will express the ring at once to me at Rochester, N.Y." Mr. Campbell promised to do so. Mr. Smith thanked him and was gone. The detective named was sum moned by telegraph, and within 12 hours arrived in Brookville. To him the president stated all the facts in the case, of which the officer made a memorandum. Then, as in verifi cation of these statements : "The door of the bank was locked when you reached it r he said, in terrogatively, j "It was," returned Mr. Campbell. "The safe was also lockad ?" "Yes." "The windows were fastened as usual?"' . "They were." , "Who knows the combination that you use on your lock to the safe?" "No one but myself." "Have you ever committed it to paper ?" "I have, and the paper is now in a sealed package, holden by my at torney, and to be opened only in the case of illness that renders me unconscious, or my death." "Do you know that the package has not been tampered with ?" "I euppose that it has sot Will learn shortly ;" and he wrote a note which he sent to his atforney. "No suspicious person has been seen in the village lately?" . "Not that I am aware of." . . - The officer began his examina tion of the premises, frequently re ferring to his memoranda, Mean while a sealed package waa handed to Mr. Campbell, who, opening it, said: . ; - "The paper is here, unmolested." - "Are tou sure that you never dis closed the combination to any one that no one has been near you when you opened the safe?" ' - "The only person who has ever been near me when I opened the safe, with the exception of the offi cials, is the eentlemaD who substi tuted for our pastor this summer." "How did he happen to be near you?" "He came hero to leave a valua be ring that was his, for safe keep ing. "You opened the safe in his pres ence, and he unsuccessfully tried to open n alter you T "Yes," in absolute astonishment. "Describe his personal appear ance." Mr. Campbell did so. "That is all for the present," said the officer. Four days elapsed, during which the detective seemed to give the case no consideration, devoting his time to conversation with this, that and the other one, on any subject except the burglary. Then he went to Mr. Campbell. "lour description," he said, "of the gentleman who substituted for your pastor this summer, tallied so well with the description of a bur glar who has operated in the west, that I at once made up my mind that the two were identical." Mr. Campbell gave a start '"Leaving vou, I called on Mr. Pennell, and learned the name of the clergyman by whose recommen dation Mr. Smith came here. To this minister I immediately wrote. The replv is" reading a letter: "C: ,X. Y, Oct. 8, 18. "Dear Sir In answer to yours, just at hand, would say, I know no one by the name of 1 homns Smith ; never had a student ; never wrote to Brother Pennell. The evening before I left home, last July, a young man, in all respects like the one you de scribe, called on me and asked in numerable questions concerning Brother Penneli so many and so strange that 1 wondered at them. I intended to write Brother P. about the man, but neglected it so long that I deemed it best not to write at all. Wish now that I had, as it would have prevented the imposi tion which has been practiced upon an esteemed co-worker and his pec pie. . Yours respectfully, Wm. Blake." Mr. Campbell was too much as tonished to epeak. "rrobably this man smith, or what ever his name may be, learning that vour bank did an immense business, resolved to burglarize it long ago," continued the officer. "Just how he chanced to adopt the clerical role I cannot say ; but hav ing determined upon it, he could easily find the name of some one who waa vour past0r's classmate at je Theological Seminary by con suiting the catalogues of the institu tion for various years. Fortune fa vored him in selecting Mr. Blake. He had never corresponded with Mr. Pennell, but was thoroughly versed in his ways. This circum stance enabled Smith to write to your pastor, with no fear of detection by reason of the penmanship. The time of writing was also opportune, as Mr. Blake was on the point of leaving home, and Mr. Tennell could not write to him concerning the would-be substitute. "The ring, it may or may not have been worth something, was the ruse by which he gained a knowledge of your combination. hen yo" open ed the safe he learned the number that you used, and his unsuccessful attempt to open it after you, was a mere 'blind.' Of course to obtain an entrance to the building was an easy matter for him. I shall this very day go in pursuit of him, and my adyice is, say nothing of what I have told you to any one except the di rectors, more than that I have ob tained a clue to the perpetrator of the deed, until you hear from me." Early in December he received a telegram from the Detective at New York, which contained the single word "Come." He went to the city where he found Thomas Smith alias yarious other names, in custody, who made a full confession, quite substantiating the oflicer's suppositions and re stored all that he had taken from the bank, save a hundred dollars or so. When Mr. Campbell returned to Brookville with the stolen property, every one was astonished ; they were more astonished on learning the true character of the "lay preacher." "His first text should have been, 'I was a stranger and took you in,' " facetiously observed one of the church members whom Mr. Smith had especially pleased. Since that time no one of his flock has expressed anv desire that anoth er than the Rey. Mr. Pennell admin ister to his spiritual wants. " Never Give Up. If you are suffering with low and depressed spirits, Joss of appetite, general debility, disordered blood, weak constitution, neauacne, or any disease of a bilious nature, by all means procure a bottle of Electric Bitters. You will be surprised to see the rapid improvement that will follow : vou will be inspired with new life ; strength and activity will return ; pain and misery will cease, and henceforth you will rejoice in the piaise of Electric Bitters. Sold at 50 cents a bottle by C. N. Bovd. Didn't W ant to be Crowded. In a recent exhibition of statuary in New York there was a marble group representing Jacob wrestling with the angel on a small pedestal. An elegantly dressed man and his wife looked at it for some time and finally she asked : "Why is he trying to throw the angel off?" "Because there is not room enough up there for both of them. He doesn't want to be crewded. A vounz man asks which is prop er, good night or good evening, after making a late call on bis lady friend. That young gentleman should know that when his father was a young man the girls were so entertaining and sweet that be al ways said good morning, ana got home for an early breakfast Near Trenton, N. J., there is a bed of wild roses over six acres in extent eralc IS84. Just Like John. A woman clad in deep mourning went through the menagerie yester day, stopping to admire each of the animals in turn, and every now and then applying her handkerchief as siduously to her eyes, says the Bur lington Free Press. When she came to the camel, it was evident that she had come to stay. She sat down on one of the posts that held the rop and began to catechise the attend ant "This is the camel, ain't it?" "Yes'm and the finest specimen in this menagerie or in any menag erie in the country." "Do tell ! How that reminds me of John? John was always at the head of the heap. Now, do tell me some of the peculiarities of the cam el, won't you?" "Yes, ma'am. He has a long neck." "Just like John! He had the longest neck you ever saw on a man. Gracious! I wish you could haye seen the standing collars he used to wear. Come, now, tell me some thing more." "The camel has the largest natur al hump of any animal in existen ence." "J ust like John ! You never saw a man that could hump himself as John could, when he had a mind to." "The camel is also a great travel er." "Just like John ! I never could keep him at home nights." "lie is called the ship of the des ert." "Just like John! He could get more pie aboard than any other man in Vermont" Just then the lions began to roar and the woman started on a dead trot to see now much meat they could eat at one meal. "bay," cried the attendant of tue camel. "There's one thinz I hain't told you about this animal the most important of all." What s that, cried the woraan. turning arourd in her tracks. "He can go for weeks without drinking a drop of water." "Just like John I" exclaimed the excited female. "You never saw a man " But the lions began to roar so loud that her voice was lost to the attend ant of the camel ; and he forgot all about the little incident, until later in the day, when he saw a female in black in front of the monkeys' cage, and heard her explain, by way of comment, or rome remark of the keeper : "Just like John !" Only a Jersey Jacket. The other evening a young lady, with a White Swiss skirt, Jersey Jacket and white cape, and her beau were promenading on East Wash ington street when it suddenly be came apparent to them that there was something unusual about them. Men stopped and, looked at them girls giggled and boys hoot ed. "Sylvia, what on earth is the matter with everybody this eve ning?" queried the beau. "I don't know, and what is more I don't care," snorted Syl via. "What ails them ?" asked one girl of another, just as they passed the unhappy couple. "Don't know, unless she's sick, and he has to hold her up,' answered her companion. "Take off your arm P cried the boy. "Pull down the blinds!" shouted his chum. "Gosh ! Aint they lovin !" bellow ed a third. The young man was angry and the young woman was mad, and the boys wre following at their heels and saying all manner of imperti nent things. Two of the rascals slipped up behind her, and one of them slyly put out his hand, and as the girl and her lover separated the urchin howled : "Lord ! He got his arm around her ! That's where her black west cot sticks out from under her white shawl !" and then the young folks knew that the black streak of jersey around her waist had been mistaken for his sleeve, and the girlwent home to change her dress. Women Should Vole. "Now, let me see if I understand this Presidential election at Chica go," said a blushing bride at Niaga ra to her spouse, as they gazed at the Niagara Falls, after they had enrich ed the hackman for life: "Blaine and Cleveland were chos en, were they not, my deary pet ?" 'They were nominated at Chicago, my sweet, sweet not elected." "When will they be elected, my angel lover "Only one of them will be elected, dove." "Then why were they nominated at Chicago, my pretty pet ?" ion see, my dear, one is a Dem ocrat and the other is a Republi can." "Then what is the use of havine two men nominated at Chicago, if they can't both be elected ? I know there are always two men on a tick et. There were Tilden and Hen dricks and Hayes and Wheeler. Pa told me so." "Yes, but you must understand there is a Vice President" "Oh, mv darling of darlings !" ex claimed the bride, reproaching her self for her doubts ; "I see it all now. Cleveland is to be President and Mr. Blaine Vice President" Then the husband mortgaged a farm of his, and took his bride for a drive to Whirlpool Rapids in a hack. A Fortunate Dfacrery. A new light is thrown on the sub ject of Consumption by Dr. Wagner Kemp, discoverer of KempstJaisam for the Throat and Lungs. A rem edy that has proved itself to be a remarkable compound. It does its work thoroughly, stopping a hack ing cough instantly. Sold by C. N. Boyd. Price 50cta. and $1.00 Trial bottle free. Get one. WHOLE NO. 171. A Young rarson's Retort. Bishop Wilmer, Protestant Epis copal, of Alabama", is one of the read iest men with retort to be found in the States. His first parish was in Virginia. At a certain company, where all the gentlemen of the neigh borhood were, the young clergyman was present 1 here was also pres ent a man noted for his infidelity as to Christianity, and for the rough ness of his manners and speech to those by whom it was professed This skeptic soon began to talk at the youthful parson, who prudently made no reply, the enemy became more aggressive, and, addressing him directly, said: "Mr. Wilmer, you don't seem to like to talk about r elision and the Bible." "Yes, sir," he replied ; "I do like to talk about it to people who are earnest and respectful in their treat ment of it" Well." reioined the assailant, "if you will answer me one question I will let you off. Mr. Wilmer said ; "Sir, I do not know that I care to be let off from anything ; but ask me the question, and if it is a proper question, and if I know the answer 1 will give it to you." "Well sir, I have asked all the preachers I have ever seen, and none of them could tell me, and now I ask you : What become of the body of Moses when the devil and the angels had a contest over it?" It was a trying question for the young Theologian, and a trying oc casion, for the assembled company all silently awaited his reply. He quickly arose from his chair, walked across the room, stood directly in front of his antagonist tnd said, firmly and respectfully : "Sir, that j question does not concern you in the I !..- ' 11 a? i. "Why not, sir?" "Because it is perfectly certain no ar.-fw;ig'I will have any contest with the devil over your body." The infidel confessed himself whipped, and, joining in the laugh at his own expense, said he would bet on his parsou ag.iinst any other preacher in the country. A Father Rebnkcd. Colonel McLeod, although not a bad man at heart, used very rough language in his intercour.se with his family. On returning to his home from his place of business, a few days ago, he found his wife very much excited over the outrageous conduct of a tramp, who being dis satisfied with the food given him by Mrs. McLeod, had abused her in a most outrageous manner. "Johnny," said Colonel McLeod to his ten year old son, "when you heard that cowardly scoundrel abus ing your mother why didn't you run to the store quick, and let me know, didn't you hear?" "Yes, pa, I was out in the stable and heard what he said about the victuals ma gave him, and how he abused her, but " "But what?" "I thought it was you scolding ma. He used the same cuss words as you do when the dinner don't suit you, so I thought it couldn't be anybody else but you. I don't think anybody else would dare talk to ma that way." Johnny unconsciously administer ed a seyere rebuke to his irascible pa, who never again spoke to his wife as if he were a tramp. Cause of Earthquakes. Professor J. S. Newberry, of the School of Mines in Columbia Col lege, gives his views on the subject of earthquakes : "These depressions are going on all over the globe, and it is well for people to note tbat no part of the earth is free from them. An earth quake is simply an adjustment of the crust of the earth. The interior is always shrinking. To make this more clear, the earth was originally ! hot and in a fluid state. As it grad-! ually cooled a crust was formed on the outside, so that our present cru3t is perhaps 500 or GOO miles thick. The process of cooling is continually progressing in the interior, and arch es are thus formed in the contrac tion, causing periodical depression of the crust. At one time they occur here, at another there ; so that there is no particular place in which to anticipate them. In plain language the coat is contiuually too large for the body, and accordingly shrinks with the volume of the latter. "What we call terra firma is mere ly a type of instability. It is any thing but firm. Let me give another instance of this depression of the earth's crust. . The coast3 of Long Island and New Jersey are constant ly sinking. Old farms, roads and forests lave been submerged. This sinking process goes on at the rate of perhaps not more than four or five, inches in a century. Cn the other hahd, we find on the coast of Nova Scotia a rising in tie land to equalize an undue or npid depres sion elsewhere from the washing away of the coast Unless you have hired help whom you can trust implicitly it is a good idea to use earthen dishes for milk in place of tin ; they are kept clean with much less trouble. Tbe sci entists of the present day and hour claim tbat the germs of disease hide in tbe crevices of a milk pan and tbat nothing but conscientious ap plication or absolutely boiling water will remove the danger. Fish, almost more than anything else, is improved by slow cooking ; especially is tbis true, when the fish is boiled. If cooked rapidly it will fall apart, and will neither taste nor look so well. The great point in sisted upon by scientific cooks of the present day ia that of taking abund ant time to prepare food in, and the fact that nothing is gained by rapid boiling. Paint which has become dry and bard may be removed by rubbing the spot with oxalic acid diluted with water. Try a weak solution first, and if it does not remove the stain, increase the strength. Could Not be Fob ad. "I feel as though I had been drag ged through the mud," said a man in a car nf tl,A Fnato-r. p;i. ! road. It was the day of the Greely re. ception at New berry port, anil the crowd in the cars was duat-begrim-med, tired, cross, and generally out of sorts. "You don't look so badly," said the man who shared the seat with the first speaker. "Can't help it I feel so. I wkh I could change my shirt before reach ing Boston." "Well you see," said the other. "We come to the Salem tunnel in a few minutes, and then you will have half an hour to change it with out being seen." The man dove into a gripsack, slipped out a clean shirt and made all .his preparations for a hasty change of raiment In a few mo ments the the train rushed into tho tunneL Off came coat and vest and soiled linen, and or went the fresh Shirt But, horror of horrors, in hU haste he had forgotten to loosen the but tons at neck and wrist, and head and hands refused to go through. The unfortunate man struggled fran tically, but to no avail, and when the train shot into the light the pas sengers were electrified by the spec tacles of a headless form shrouded in white and two arms waving fran tically in the air. The brakeman assisted the man to the smoking-car, where his toilet was hastily completed, and when Boston was reached rn active search was made for the man who had said that the Salem tunnel was half an hour's journey in length. But he could not be found. rviplosion. PiTTSBCRtt, September 5. While Pennsylvania Railroad employes were engaged this morning in blas ting rock near the Union Depot for the purpose of widening the tracks, a premature explosion of dynamite occurred and William Campbell, one of the workmen, was instantly killed and the private car of Super intendent Pitcairn, which was stan ding on a side track, was complete ly wrecked. No one else was injured. There i nothing in odd numbers. A fellow was recently robbed of $13,000 on the 13th of July, which was the thirteenth anniversary of his marriage. "Doctor, I want to thank you for your great patent medicine." "It helped vou didn't it?" asked the loctor, verv much pleased. "It helped me wonderfully." "How many bottles did you find it neces- ary to take ?" "Oh, I didn't take any ot it. My uncle took one bottle, and I aoi the sole heir." Bigsby was telline Blobson about a friend who was injured in a rail road accident. "He outrht to have got heavy damages from the road !" said Blobson. "He did.' renlied Bigsby. "He's got both Iesrs and one arm broken." Most married people think bach elors ought to be taxed. Most bach elors who go into society at all are taxed pretty heavily. Mies Julia Jackson, and Mrs. Stone wall Jackson, the only child and the widow of the Southern chieftain, are at Old Point Comfort Miss Jackson is a fair-haired, blue- eyed girl, with fragile form and de licate features. She shoots, ridea horseback in a gray ConfederaU uniform, trimmed with the "old Con fed." buttons, plays tennis, and withal is a modest little lady with a low voice. Poisoned Her Huaband. Reading, Pa., September 5. Jacob Riegel, a well known citizen of Read ing who has been employed by the Philadelphia and Reading Railroad Company for eighteen years, died en Wednesday morning of what his wife gave out as cholera morbus, af ter only one day's illnes3. Suspi cion of foul play waa aroused, and Airs, iwfigle was arrested tnis after- ion. The Coroner's inquest devel- opes the fact that Mrs. Riegel bought arsenic at a neighboring drug store on Saturday. Reigel was 50 years old and his wife is onlv 20. A post mortem examination will be held. - Since bovhood I have been troub led with catarrh and hay fever, and had been unable to obtain perma nent relief until I used Ely's Cream l.alni. It has eured me. L. L. Clickener, New Brunswick, New Jersey. Price 50 cents. One aDd one-half bottles of Ely'? Cream Balm entirely cured me of Hay Fever of ten years' standing. Have had no trace of it for two years. Albert A. Perry, Smithboro, New York. Sherp Dying. Wheelix;, September 5. In the northwestern part of Belmont, southern part of Harrison and north ern part of Guernsey counties, Ohio, sheep are dving by hundreds from scarcity of grass, due to drouth and grasshoppers. Sheep formerly held at So a head can now be bought at 81. "There is the difference between us," said the needy tramp, looking the editor full in the eye, "you fill a long felt want, and I want a long felt fill." Try Ayer's Pills, and be cured. Misery is a mild word to describe the mischief to body and mind caused by habitual constipation. The regular use of Ayer's Cathartic Pills, in mild doses, will restore the torpid viscera to healthy and regu lar action. The prettiest lady in Somerst re marked to a friend the other day that she knew Kemp's Balsam waa a superior remedy, as it stopped her cough instantly when others had no effect whatever. So to prove this C. N. Boyd will guarantee it to all Price 50 cents and 1 1. Trial size free. Good nature is the very air ol a j good mind, the sign of a large and prosperous soul, and the peculiar soil in which virtue prospers. The meeting oij tbe Pennsylvania State Board of Agriculture, which was to have been held in Bedford in September, has been postponed un til the 15th and ICth of October. It is reported that General Butler narrowly escaped becomin a Baptist preacher. r -r i (I
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers