icr.set Ilenilil, nn inutuwi: at t- r' .vr c"" '' ' . m nlvniire ; otherwh S .1 t - .1 ill tlC fclWJ111 Bun1 U up. r"""" """"s ..iim da D'lt Uk oot hfe r Ml :' .. . it.. . Ml,j mmMiNe ior me ran- ftoia one Fortoffie to an- name of to former ai Addr i:.!fivts,M .wntonv. , Somerset Herald, Somerset, Pa. The 'S'.KNKY.AT-l.AW, V,Tr..lrNtVATL.AW. SvitnerMt. Pa. ,i-I.KY. ' ' 4TTOKXEY-AT-LAW, Somerset, Fa. ,,, r i: st I'LL. "!'"';vh,i:m;y-at-law. tie omer set y .jL-L SL 1 Cl ESTABLISHED, 1.837. VOL. XXX. NO. 13. SOMERSET, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 31, 1S81. WHOLE NO. 1573. Somcrfet, I'a. KAri!jKNEV.ATLAW, Somerset, Fa. ryiTKIISOX, ATT.-i;NKY-AT-I.AW, Somerset, ...n,.teJ t hi re will 1 at- I. n'U'; 111. W. 11. Kl'ITKL. i-,)TlI a- rcppel. "mlvKXt-VSATLAV,-. . wtm'trd to tneir care will I Main Cn nrert, npjioslie me , y K SCI1ELL, "' AirtKKEY-AT-L.AT't ; ini.n Agent, ro'.n lilac:. S inierct, Fa. VT1NE HAY. "' ATl(iKXKY-ATLAW ,inK'Jl &tJte. Somerset. Pa., will '' liwii entnuted t lbt care witu mi KIMM EL. ATTmKNEY-AT-IjAV, Someraet, I'a. . -all !iaine entrusted to bi care ' ,n' .!i"iiiii;icciunti with pnimpt Tv l.v (cmv "i Main Orw tret. . L. C. OOLBonX. "VvCoLBORNf ATTi'KXEYS AT L.AW. vh' er.troMed to their care will 1 i'rMcr B'lwk. l rtir. v i '-in AT1iH!xLy AT LAW. Soim-ml, r., aiirit'l iu all O'ineiW cut ratted i a iiviiweil un collect iuue, c. til- ;i.K. AlTl'K.N'EYfATLAW, Sooierflet Fa-, -a. bufinow entrusted t my care at- .rjun'ines and hdclity. ; i't ttki:. ATTdKM Y AT LAW, ; S.iEmKT C"., P j ,...;unl er-lce t the public : iHtitd.nd all other lecal i n'.f-it" iirumptnew and hdeliijr. j ,xul:;. ljunca, su. 1 XKW OPHWIXG, In the Ko:i lite known'a the. 2STA.TJGr3JE HOUSE, BY ALBERT RECKE, lHl.lf !.k hKTAIL EAEEEY aai CONFECTIONERY, MAarrACTt'RKB or FIX t and COMMON CANDIES, CRACKERS, CAKES AND BREAD, DIALER IS 1KtCEKIES, FINE IIOAKS, SMOKINtl ANDCHEWINU TtACOO, FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC FRVITS, -C kC. Partlen and Picnioa rtipi.licd with Candles, Onk. NuJ and (Irant'i uu thon nutire. All Ouud Fresh, and aold at A LOW FIGl'KF,. THE KAUM Kit's KKVIINTV YKAUS Call ami at for yoursclvc. I will uirn nnt with a IcimkIp, Alav iwh. lull line ol the a'aire I CENTRAL HOTELS MAIN STREET, SOMERSET, PENN'A., 0h-ih1 forgiifsls on January 10th9 J SSI. Ah, there lie ix, lail, at the jlov ; lfe beats the boya for work, A ml wluit-oe'r the task mi;;lit None ever duw him i-hirk. Ami he can laugh, too, till his cy-K nun o'er with mirthful tears, Anl sing full many an olil-limi' nm In spile of jM-venty years. "Gok1 tnorninp, fri-mN ! "lis Iwi-lve " i lix k Time fr a half-hour's ix-st." Ami farmer John took out his lunrli And ate it with a ri-st. '"A hanler tak it is," he said, "Than following up tiiesc steers Or mending fences, far, for me To feel my seventy years. "Vim ask me why I feel so yotinj; ; I'm sure, friends, I ran't tell, liut think it is my pood wife's fault Who keojis me uj so well ; For women sui-h as she are searee In this )oor vale of tears ; She's given me loveand hoprnml stn-nglli For more than forty years. "And then my hoy's haveull dune well. As far as they have gone, And that thins warms an old luanhlood. And helps him up and on. My j.-'rls have never caused a tainr, r raiseil tip anxious fears ; Then wonder not that 1 feel young And haU- at seventy years. "Why don't my gtod boys do my work And let me sit and rest? Ah ! friend's, that wouldn't do for me; I like my own way best. They have their duty ; I have mine; And till the end apiears, 1 mean to smell the soil, my friends," Said the man of seventy vears. Till: MYSTKIUOI'S AVIIWUV. n. U CAKR. r.w.u. ATT'iKXtYS AT-LAW, SinicrKtt, I'a., tr ir. S ine-sM at:.! a.lwlninjrcantie. M'utru. ifii to Ureal t jirmnptljr I.I.IAM II. K )OXTZ. AmiiJXEY-AT I. AW, Somenct, Fa., it raw attenth to hn'IneM cntrsM- n n. V'Urm.t and adiolnirR couiitiea. h'.oi'.iut House Kow. i:.S('iTT. ATH'liXEY-AT LAW. uineraet, Pa. kft'iSTt Honw. AH't-nflneppentrurt i.T at:tr.tir.l tu wilb inuiitiiei's and l Lrrr.ii, ATTiiKXEY-ATLAW, tsumereet. Pa. K.im.'th lllnrk. op naira. Eotntnoe. ;wt. t'lilleotioni made, eMatrf i:f niined, ami all h-ifl Ixidnew iiroui;ia.ef and n.lelny. EM. HICKS, Jl sril Et'F THE PEACE, Somerset, Petin'a. V,Ll. U.S. K'.MMKI-L. E. M. KIMMKI.L t SON nh' iriiriileMlotial aenlce tn the cltl--!t dU vtHnity. Uueof the mem- i-m can at mistime, nnlw irufeino- I L und ai their ctln-e, on Main the l'i&motid. -' k'. MIIJ.EU lias jKTtna- -lawllt IJerlin for the practice ot .. U.tus; upinnite Chart Kriwini- U.r.nrr.AKERton.lfm his Tiftl nen to the ritinens of Sm uutr. u.tioe ia reslUeiioe on Main i.i;.milu:r. IHYSICIAN fcSCKGEON, ..Sia:li Bend. Indiana, where he HMiiwi t'j Ivitvr ur oiherwiBi. -IIN'EII.LS, DENTIST. t Hmry Hc!Bct' store, plain C rest WI I.I.I AM COLLINS. J'tXriM, SOMERSET, PA. Kimni;h Dl'ick. above IJoj-d' Irn I "Tin at all ume tie lunud prejiar ii:id i.t wi'rk. U''h an hlliOK. r-!-nv.am. ae. ArUm-ial tonb.it all LItkIk. ' tire, atcnai iniwried. iieratl'io agency. h' Ht of Sand Patch. Somcrnet eonnty, ''' "I Die Peace, forrcvor and clalnj p".mt.:lv eiillect all HountT ant Pen- " ntrustwi t him. Pcrnoot wihln v; am tdilrer him at the abuve raiiucinx ili.hr and puglave AUCTIONEER. r.n.i 1 KiV, ooure'ratiilacUua. rnal'i prytmptly atlcmtcd to. W. A. KOONTZ, OaUaenee, Pa. ATTJTDC Sir,' A.'O yKEgco PAINTERS, 'iiKL-i:r, I'k.w'a. 500 t.allons FERMENTED WINE, OR SALE J f uk.. . J. Catetieer fc Co.'t 's GROVE FARM "f2U- BLACKBERRY. CURRANT, . RBErry, WILD-CHERRY ,t. B CIDER WINE. a I "?anutr tn salt tk-chaiier. t(rVwr.VJ lur "1lcal and aacra- This house is furnished in first-class, mod ern slvle. with the modem enliven ieiu-es of ll,...iti'rs Hot and Cold Water llatlis. lanre heading II.kiiiis, Tarlors and Chambers, ami has imii I Stahh-s attarhsl. The Tabh and Har will le as t;OOD AS Tin: i:rT Kroin exiH-rii-me in the Hotel business. I flatter myself 1 can render salisfai-tion to all who may call. F. S. KLEINDIENST. Has constantly on hand at his distillery PURE RYE WHISKY For sale ly the Larrel or gallon, suited for MEDICAL AND MECHANICAL purposes. Orders addressed to Berlin, Pa., will nveive prompt attentin. Mank2, 1SS0. J AS. A. M'MlLLAV. Jan. II. Waters IYTMILLAN & CO., TRACTICAL PLUMBERS, STEAM AND GAS FITTERS, No 112 Franklin Street, John&town, Pa. Special attention riven to House Drainage and Sever Ventilation. ESTIMATES MADE AND WOEI DONE In the murt thonKh manner and frnaranteed. HSTEW BANK. -:0: Somerset County Bank, CHARLES J. HARRISON. Cashier and Manager. Collection! made in all paru of the I'elteO Sutea. Cliarjn moderata. Batter and other ehecki col lected and eaabed. Eaatera and WwteTBezchang al way on band. Eemlttaneei made with prompt ness. Aooounti Solicited. Partlee desiring to purchase V. 8. 4 PER CENT. FUNDED LOAN, eaa b accommo dated at this Bank. The eoaponi are prepaid In denominations of M, HO, 600 and 1.000. S. T. LI1TLE& SONS, IOS DALTIMORK 6TRKCT, Ct IM BERLAND. Ma. WATCHES, CHUKS, SOLID SlLVKUH AiE, VIAM0SD0, AMERICAS CLOCKS, FKIiKCH Cl OIKS, SILVER PLATED WARE, JEWELRY,c. HOLIDAY PBESEHTS! Watc.be aad Jewelry Kepalred by Skilled Workmen and returned f Ezprea Free of Cbara;. No extra chance fur Emrrarlni;. Oood war ranted a represented. Oct IS no. arena. la nca n. mea. ABnts lor Rre and Life Inwance. JOHN HICKS & SON, SOMERSET. PA.. And Real Estate Brokers. ESTAULISUED.1850. Perann woo deeir to Mil. buy or exrbaace property, or rent will fend It to their advantair wrealner the deeertptlnn ihereof, a noebars I made anlew anld or rented. Keal eMaU lu tines generally will be promptly attended to. aav iv CHARLES HOFFMAN, UERCHANT TAILOR tAfcovw llvnry llcmy Btr.) LATEST STYLES I5J LOWEST PE1CES. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. SOMERSET PA. During the summer of 1S41 the Mritish had not only laid claim to all that portion of the district of Maine lying cast of the lVnohscot, but Admiral (Irifiet and Sir John Sterbrooke, the latter being the Gov ernor General of Nova Scotia, had been sent w ith a lanre force to take possession, and occupied the town of Castine, which place commands the entrance to l'enobscot river. Shortly before the arrival of the English saiuu'ron Commodore Sam uel Tucker had been sent around to l'enobscot IJay to protect the Amer ican coasters, and while the British sailed up to Castine, he la3 at Thom- aston. It was a schooner that the Com modore commanded, but she was a heavy one, well armed and manned ; and she carried the true Yankee "grit" upon her decks, of which the enemy had received lrom tnein rather too many proofs. On the morning of the 2$th of August a messenger was sent down from Bel last with the intelligence that the British frigate was coming from Castine to take him. Tucker knew that the British feared him, and also that Sir John Sherbrooke had offer ed a large reward for his capture. hen the Commodore received the intelligence, his vessel was ly ing at one of the low wharves, w here he would have to wait two hours for the tide to set him off: but he hast ened to have everything prepared to get her off as soon as possible, for he had no desire to meet the frig ate. The schooner's keel had just clear ed from the mud, and one of the men had been sent upon the wharf to cast oil the bowline, when a wa gon, drawn by one horse, came rat tling down to the spot. The driver, a rough looking countryman, got out upon the wharf, and then as sisted a middle-aged woman from the vehicle. The lady's first inqui ry was for Commodore Tucker. He was pointed out to her, and she stepped upon the schooner's deck and approached him. ''Commodore," she asked, "when do you sail irom here ?" " We'll 6ail right off, as soon as possible, madam." "Oh, then, I know you will be kind to me," the lady urged, in per suasive tones. "My Door husband died yesterday, and 1 wish to carry his corpse to Wiscasset, where we belong, and where his parents will take care of it." "But my good woman, I shan't go to Wiscasset." "If you will only land me at the mouth of the Sheepscot, 1 will ask no more. I can easily find a boat there to take me up." "Where isthebody ? ' asked Tuck er. "In the wagon " returned the ia- dv. at the same time raising the cor- ner ol lier snawi xo wipe away me tears. I have a sum ot money with me, and you shall be paid for the trouble." "Tut, tut, woman ; if I accommo date you there wont be any pay atiout" The kind-hearted old commodore ..i -c r was not me man to reiuse a iavor, and though he liked not the bother of taking the woman and her strange accompaniment on board, yet he could not refuse. hen he told her he would do as she had requested, she thanked him with many tears in her eyes. Some of the men were sent upon the wharf to bring the body on board. A long buffalo robe was lifted off by the man who drove the wagon ; be neath itapoeared a neat black coffin. Some wordi were passed by the sea- men as they were pulling me comn on Ixiard, which went to show pret ty plainly that the affair did not ex actly suit them. It may have been but prejudice on their part, but the seamen should be allowed a preju dice once in a while, when we con sider the many stern realities they have to encounter. "Hush, my good men," said the commodore, as he heard their remonstrance. "Sup- Iose you were to die away from lome would you not wish that your last remains might be carried to your joor parents ? Come hurry now." . The men said no more, and ere long the coffin was placed in the hold, and the woman vas shown to the cabin. In less than half an hour the schooner was cleared of the wharf and standing out from the bay. The wind was right from the eastward, but Tucker had no fear of the frigate now that he was once out of the bay. ' In the evening the lady passen ger came on deck, and the commo dore assured her that he should be able to land her on the next morn ing. She expressed her gratitude and satisfaction, and remarked that before she retired she would like to look and seo that her husband's corpse was safe This wasof course granted, and one of the men lifted nil' the hatch that she might godown into the hold. "I declare," muttered Daniel Car ter, an old sailor who was standing at the wheel, "t-he tikes on dre' fully." " Yes, poor thing," said Tucker, as he heard her sobs and groans. "D'ye notice what'n eye sh e's got ?' continued Carter. "No," said Tucker, "only 'twas swollen with tears. "Mv eyes! but they shone-, though, when she stood here, looking at the compass." Tucker smiled at the man's quaint earnestness, and without further re mark he went down tcjthe cabin. When the woman came up from the hold, she looked about the deck of the schooner for a few moments, and then went aft. There was some thing in her countenance that puz zled Carter. He had leen one of those that objected to the eollin be ing brought onboard, and hence he was not predisposed to look very fa vorably upon its owner. The wo man's eyes ran over the schooner's deck with a strange quickness, and Carter eyed her very sharply. Soon she went to the tan'rail and looked over at the stern boat, and then she came back and stood by the binnacle again. "Look out, or you'll jibe the boom," uttered the passenger. Carter started, and found that the main sail was shivering. He gave the helm a couple of spokes aport, and then cast his eyes again upon the woman, whose features were lighted by the binnacle lamp. Thank'ee ma'am," saidM)an. "J fa hold on whv bless my soul, there's a big spider right on your hair. No not there. Here I'll Ugh !" This last ejaculation Dan made as lie seemed lo pun someining from the woman's hair, which he threw upon the deck with the ' I gh above mentioned. Shortly after the passenger went below, and ere long Tucker came on deck. "Commodore," said Carter, with a remarkable degree of earnestness in his manner, "is the women turned in?" "I rather think so," said Tucker, looking atthccoin;ass. "Look out, look out, Carter ! hy, man alive, you're two points to the south'ard of your course." "Blow me ! so I am," said the man, bringirg the helm smartly aport. "But say, did t you notice anything peculiar about the old woman?" "Why. man. you seem greatly in terested about her." "So I am, commodore, an' so I am about the coffin, too. Wouldn tit be wcU for vou and I to overhaul it?" Pshaw ! you're as scared as a child in a graveyard !" No, not a bit. Just hark a bit. That woman am t no woman. The commodore pronounced the name of his satanic majesty in the most emphatic manner." "It s the truth commodore l can B wear to it. I purtended there was a spider on her hair, and I rubbed my iiand agin lier lace. J.y cam Hyde, if he wasn't as rough and bearded as a holy-stone. You see she told me as how I'd let the boom jibe if I didn't look out I knowed as there wasn t no woman mere, anu so I tried her. Call somebody at the wheel, and let's go and look at the coffin." The commodore was wonderstruck by what he had heard, but with a calm presence of mind that made him what lie was, he sat coolly to thinking. In a few minutes he call ed one of the men aft to relieve Car ter, and then lie went down to look after his passenger. The latter had turned in and seened to l.c sleeping. Tucker returned and took Carter to one side. "No noise, Carter ; follow me as though nothing had happened. "Sartin." The two approached the main hatch and stooied to raise it, when Dan's hand touched a small ball that seemed to have been pinned up under the after break of the hatch. "It's a ball of twine," said he. "Don't touch it, but run and get a lantern," said Tucker. Carter sprang to obey, and when he returned a number of the men liad gathered about the spot The hatch was raised, and the commo dore carefully picked up the ball of twine and found that it was made fast to something lelow. He de scended to tho hold and there he found that the twine ran in between the lid of the coffin. He had no doubt in his mind now that there was mischief boxed up below, and sent Carter for something that might answer for a screw driver. The man soon returned with a 6tout knife, and the commodore set to work. He worked very carefully, however, at the same time keeping a bright lookout for the string. At length the screws were out, and the lid very carefully lifted from its place. "Great God in Heaven !" burst from the lips of the commodore. "By Sara Hyde !" dropped like a thunder clap from the tongue of old Dan. "God bless you, Dan," said the commodore. "I know'd it V said Dan. The two men stood for a moment and gazed into the coffin. There was no dead man there, but in place thereof there was material for the death of a score. The coffin was filled with gun powder and pitch wood ; upon a light framework in the centre were arranged four pis tols, all cocked and the string en tering the coflin from without com municated with the trigger of each. The first movement of the com modore was to call for water, and when it was brought he dashed 3 or 4 bucketfuls into the infernal con trivance, and then lie breathed more freely. "No, no," he uttered, as lie leaped lrom the hold. ' Jo no my men. Do nothing rashly. Let me go into the cabin first. You may follow me." Commodore 1 uckcr strode into the cabin, walked up to the bunk where his passenger lay and, grasp ing hold of the dress, he dragged its wearer out uiwn the lloor. There was a sharp resistance and the pas senger drew a pistol but it was quickly knocked away the gown was torn off, and a man came forth from the remnants of calico and linen. The fellow was assured that his whole plot had been discovered, and at length he owned that it had been his plan to turn out in the course of tlie night and get hold of the ball of twine, which he had left in a convenient place; then he intended to have gone aft, carefully unwinding the string as he went along, then to have got into the boat cut the falls, and as the boat fell in to the water he would have pulled smartly upon the twine. "And 1 think you know." lie con tinued, with a wicked look, "what would have followed. I shouldn't have been noticed in the fuss I'd have got out of the wav with the boat, and you'd all have teen in the next world in short order. And all I can sa3T is that I am sorry I didn't do it. It was with much difficulty that the commodore prevented his men lrom killing the villain on the snot He proved to be one of the enemy's ollicers, and he was to have a heavv reward it lie succeeded in dstroying the commodore and his crew. The prisoner was carried on deck and lashed to the main rigging, where he was told to remain until the vessel got into port. "What a horrid death that villain meant for us," uttered Carte. "Yes, he did," said Tucker with a shudder. lie belongs to me same gang that's been robbin' and burnin' the poor folks' houses on the eastern coast," said one of the men. "Yes," said the commodore, with a nervous twitch of the muscles about the mouth. A outer curse lrom the prisoner now broke on the air, and with a clenched fist the commodore went below. In the morning when Tucker came on deck, Seguin was in sight upon the starboard bow, bttt when he looked for the prisoner he was gone. "Carter, where 's the villain I lash ed here last night?" "I'm sure I don't know where he is, commodore. Perhaps he leaped overboard." The old commodore looked stern ly in Carter's eyes, and he saw a twinkle of . satisfaction . there He hesitated a moment then he turn ed awav and muttered to himself: Well, well 1 can't blame them If the murderous villain's gone to death, he's only met a fate which he richly deserved. Better far be it for him than that my noble crew were all now m the oceans cold grave. XASUY IX KCGSHJC. Come back for the sake uv Dim oerisy! Wat hez Dimocrisy ever dim forme? Wat hez Dimocrisy ever dun for anybody? Mick Lel lan i, the Governor uv mere Noo Jersey, Seymour is laugnishiri on his farm or deliverin addresses afore cheese societies, Thurman is foolin with Monetary Conferences, apinted by a Iiepublikin, Hancock is onto Governor's Island, wonderin wheth er the ttrif is a nashnel or a lokle question, and why he wuzn't elc-tid, and I I am in London, a eggsile, a stranger on a. furrin shoar, known only to few public housekeepers, and they will soon wish they had never the honor uv my acquaint ance. Ef the Dimocrisy can't sur vive without me, Dimocrisy may as well order its coflin. I will write its epitaf gladly. Why, I hev even lost interest in Amerikin politix. I laft when I heered Sherman had sed that the tax on Whisky will pay the Nashnel debt, and even the assassination uv Garfield did not move me, tho I 6a w m it the prospeck uv another A. Johnson. Go back to the Corners? - - KOU.MISS." A Teiiiiterance Drink. London-, (wich is in England ), Jooly 1G, 1SS1. Yesterday I receiv ed the follerin opisgle from the Cor ners : To the Rev. P. V. Nasby : Come back ; we relent You shull have all the liquor you want, and the cit izens will seo that you have proper food and raiment. The new 'shirts are making for you now. We want somebody to read the news for us. We are in total ignorance of what is going on. Come back. W e enclose money to pay return passage. Come back for us. Come back for Dimocrisy. l'.I.KANAH PltOOKAM, Chairman Committee. I hev bin expectin this for some time. The note wuz written by some stranger within their gates, for no man at the Cross Roads, except Bascom. kin rite, and he onlv iist enuf to keep his books. Since he located at the Corners he lied to lern to rite to do this, and I must say he hez hed a heap uv experi ence. The money they send me I shel ! Not any Corners for me Keep lor me present, but 1 hurl back, their bribe uv shirts with scorn. Wat is two shirts to me in London, i where they dry their shirts upon j unes on me lop uv mo nouses : lo they think I am too old to dim ? Am I like Kaleigh, which remark ed : "Fain would I dim but that I fear to fall ?" Tho bowed with the weight uv sixty years, I wud clim the Alp3 at midnite, were there a clean shirt on the sumit. And then wat is shirts anyhow ? The shirt is the most yoosdis uv garment. It is not warm, and the cloth in it is in the way. I wear em only in deference to an abzurd re quirement uv our modern civiliza shn. They are purely artilishl. I never saw an Arab, or any other child of nacher, with a shirt on. With a vest cut close to the throte. and a paper collar, wat does a man need uv a shirt ? Ask the travlin ac tor ask the song and dance men. Two shirts forsooth ! I shel not go back to tho Corners not much. I am too well sitooat- ed here to make any change.and cs peshly to go back to a place wich hc3 bin tryin to git shut uv me for yeers, and wich hed no more appre shiashun uv me than to finally suc cede. They hev at last assertained how true the line : Th Peinliar IJevcra:" I'rrsorilK-il Tor the 1'i'o.nleiit. "Far more troo joy the N'asby eggsilcil feeln Than Bafnm wiih tlieUorw-rJ at hlii heeL-"." Petkoi.eum V. N.vsnv, (Reformer and Patriot.! I'ipin oiT a Miner. Among the thirsty ones yesterday hunting up and down Woodward avenue for something to quench thirst was a man in rusty black, who entered a drug store and softly inquired : "Have you a temperance drink?" "Two or three of 'em. Will you take soda water or ginger ale ?" "Well, noiV, our society does not regard either of those as a strictly temperance drink. Both are associ ated with stronger liquors." "How would root beer answer?"' "Suspicious suspicious," was the whispered replv. "Ah ! I've got it now !" "Ah!" "I can pive you a stright temper ance drink as cool as ice, but it comes high." "How "much ?" "Ten cents a glass." "Very well," said the old man, as he put down hi3 dime. The druggist was absent only a minute, and then returned and placed a glass of liquid before him. The old man drank half of it, smack ed his lips and asked : "May I ask what you call it ?" "Certainly ; it is called water. I just drew it from the Imlrant" The excursionist set the glass down much harder than he needed to, buttoned his coat, and with a glance meant to reduce the drug gist's weight to 120 pounds in five seconds, marched out as stiff as a bean-pole, and crossed the street af ter a lemonade Uavored with pep permint essence. Feet- Prr. Sell-Made Men. Many of those who have taken the foremost rank in the circles of business, of thought and of reform, have come from homes supplied by toil. This is as it should be. For those who have been brought up exclusively in drawing-rooms, intel ligence is a name, a recreation ; for those who have held the sword or the helm, who have driven the plow or worked with the chisel, intelli gence becomes a passion, a force, a beauty, a worship, and a love di vine. It is from the stall, the shop, the work-room, that the most kw erful minds have issued. Moliere from the upholsters, Burns from the farmers, Shakespeare from the ho siers, Rosseau from the wheelrights long engaged in a struggle with physical nature, they all took refuge in the free domain of thought On the other hand, the offspring of the good and great are apt to deteriorate; not that they do not inherit strong mental powers, but their luxurious surroundings weaken self-reliance and lessen effort Ix It Putwible. That a remedy made of such com mon, simple plants as Hops, Buchu, Mandrake, Dandelion, kc, makes so many and such marvelous and wonderful cures as Hop Bitters do? It must be, for when old and young, rich and poor. Pastor and Doctor, Lawyer and Editor, all testify to having been cured by them, we must believe and doubt See other column. roil. no longer. Illewins briten ez they take their Illte. I am glad I left, ef for no other reason than to sho these barbarians wat they lost in me. 1 am at present in London tryin to make up my mind whether to stay here and becum a English pa- i inoi, or 10 go to e ranee and becum a Irish one. There iz so much to be sed on both sides that I find in dif ficult to deside. Ef it wuz certain that the Irish agitashen wood keep up, I think 1 should go to Paris, but unforchinitlv ther never wuz a rish movement yit that wuzn't im- mejitly sold out by the leaders. Ez a rool, after a insurrecshun w as fan ned into decent proporshens, ther immejitly occurred a foot race among the leaders to see wich oood git to Iiondon to sel it out first. Ther iz no doubt but that I kin make a good thing uv it by organiz ing myself into a skirmishin fund, or a releef fund, or most anything uv the kind, and hevin the Irish servant girls and day labrers uv Ameriky send me contribushens, but when the present muvement dies out where am I ? I shood hev to go to work to git up a new truble, and that wood be strainin unto a Amcrikan. A Irish man cums to it naturally, but to me it wood be a noo eggsperience. On the other hand, I never saw better material for a party uv re form, simeler to the Dimocrisy in Ameriky, than ther is here in Lon don. Ther is oshens uv material here, Atlantic? and Pacifies uv it. Ther is more gin mills to the square acre than I ever seen afore, ai.d wat makes it better, they are crowded ol the time. Ther is Irish here, more than ther is in Noo York even, and the fact that they are not put upon school boards and upon the per lecce force the minit they come over, and onto the Board uv Aldermen and other places, the same ez in Noo York, makes em dis contented and unhappy. They are ripe for a movement that would give cm the control uv London, the same ez they hev uv Noo York, and ol they want to commence a demon stration for the hcven born rites uv every Irishman is a leader who is bold enuf to hed em, and skillful enuf to organize em. Am I that man? Ef so ther is for me patent-leather boots, rooms at a first-class hotel, ghamnane and Havana cigars, the same -z the Irish leaders in Ameriky. Ef so, there is a carriage at the door, with a liv eried coachman on the box, and a llunkey in a livery behind, the same ez ol men hev who strike many bloz for the poor oprest uv every land. Ef so, there is nights uv luxury and days uv cze, tfhich is proper for the champion uv the starvin Irish and the oprest Celt I see porterhouse stakes and the wines uv France in this kind uv a crusade for the down trodden. I ehud like to hev a flunky to kick and abuse. I wud be a champion for almost any variety uv ekality for that blessed privileje. For patriotic purposes I hev found no liquid better than English gin. It is a beverage that is eminently calculated to prodoos discontent with eggisting order uv things, no matter what they may be. A gin drinker alius wants suthin else. In this respect it lays ol over Amerikin whisky, no matter how bad it is. Ixndon is rlearly my feeld. Go back to the Comers with these golden nrospex openin up afore me! Go back to the Cross Roads and en door Bascom's refoosals for credit, and Dekin Pogram's refoosals to lend, and the terrors uv unappeased hunger, when I kin hed an Irish in surrecshun, and sell out to the blotid aristocracy uv England, and be a Dook or suthin uv the sort, and hev an estate uv my own! Go back to the Comers and read the noos for mere whisky, and that given grudg ingly and in insufficient quantities! Not'much ! During one of hLs intermittent visits to the Comstock, Mr. Mackay accompanied a partv of Eastern tourists to the lower levels of the California mine, one of which care fully selected collection of Massa chusetts blue blood being a young lady from Boston who was refined to the top notch of culture. On ar riving at one of the lower levels tho gasping, perspiring, wilted crew paused, and Mr. Mackay called the young girl's attention to a speaking tube which connected with the level above. "Is this hollow metal cylinder a conduit of sound?" asked the well educated Bostoniene. "Yes'm," said Mackay, "trv it" The young ladv applied her mouth to its opening and pied out a tremulous J Iiilo-a-a. "Aye, aye," shouted a hearty miner, a hundred feet above. "What shall 1 ask him?" said the girl to Mr. Mackay. "Ask him how he is getting along." "How are you getting along, sir ?" whistled the maiden. "Aw-w pretty well," rumbled the reply. "And now what shall I say?" con tinued the girl. "Ask him if it's hot." "Is it is hot up there?" "Hotter n h " was the plain answer. The damsel gasped, but continued : "Wh it else shall I say?" "Oh, ask him how his family, are," replied Mr. Mac-key, who began to tire of the of the "piping off' interview. now are all your lamily ; a?K cd the girl. "Toh wid ve: what are ve given us,' thundered the miner, who A medical ln.verago hitherto com paratively unknown outside of med leai circles in this country has been employed in alleviating the thirst of the sick President since Tuesday morning. Ou the preceding after noon Mr. George I. McKelway, the apothecary of Chestnut street above Broad, Pliiladelphia, received a tele gram from the White House signed by Dr. Hawkes, tutor to the Presi dent's children, inquiring whether he could furnish a supply of " Kou miss" for Mr. Garfield's use. A re ply in tho affirmative was followed by a telegram from Col. Rockwell, requesting that a rjuantity of the beverage should be sent at once. Accordingly a sjecial messenger was sent to Washington with five quart bottles solidly packed in ice, and a telegram conveying the thanks of the physicians was received from Colonel Rockwell. In Tartary, where "Koumiss" ia the favorite beverage of the natives, it is made from mare's milk. This article, however, not being obtainable here abouts, ordinary cow's milk takes its place. It is fermented by the acid of yeast and sugar highly charged with carbonic acid gas, and then bottled for use. Three days arc required to bring it to a proper A!:--,tr..i r II. Stephen. ha- i-. : lere.! ait o;ilii mi lii'h that, untler no cir:tinistui;:es: whatever, will li v r b- guilty of the nnp:irii't:;!!e crime of telling a l.nl v's nge. II did it once, and that once wan enough for nil time. Tho Washing ton correspondent of the Louisville Co'trur-Journat tells the storv : "He says that at a time when it j was known that the widow of Pres j i lent Madison wat in such great pov : erty an really to be sufieriiig .for thi I n'-cessariegof .life, a bill for her relief giving her a pension was introduced into the House, which he earnestly championed. Ife made a telling point in urging lu immediate pass age by saying "Gentlemen today the !adv 1 1. aches the venerabhe age i of eighty-two years, and it'.would le a parucuiany graceiui uung lor this house to honor the day by passing at once tho bill for her re lief." He laid such stress upon the matter, ar.d advocated the pass age of the bill so warmly, that it was passed on that day. He felt so elavated with his triumph that he decided to take the news to her him self, and hastened at once to lier resi dence. Some one, however, preced ed him and fuliy reported his spt -ch to the lady, who, t.) his surprise, greeted him by saying : "Oh thank vou. Mr. S'ephens, for getting my bill through, but you made a mis take whenyou said I was eighty-two to-day ; I am not eighty-two ; I am only eighty to-day. That was a grave mistake." When Mr. Ste phens repeated this to Mrs. John J. Crittenden, one of Mrs. Madison's friends, who had told him her agf , she said : "All the same, Mr. Ste phens, it is true she is really eighty two years old." Ktorie of WiN-hcral'I. is a very a slightly stage of fermentation. It agreeable drink, having acid taste, and contuns lrom 3 to 4 per cent of alcohol and 1 to 2 per cent, ol lactric acid. Jf exposed lor a short time to the air it becomes sour end unfit for use. It differs from whey in containing nutritive constituents of milk, and from milk itself that it is an effervescing alco holic iluid. Between twenty-five and thirty quarts of the beverage are daily sent out of the Chestnut street laboratory on physicians' prescriptions. Be fore Mr. McKelway learned the se cret of its preparation it was made exclusively by a Russian. who-e fixed price was 1 per quart. At the present time three bottles are obtainable at that figure. The mer its and effects of "Koumiss" have been closely tested and studied by many prominent medical men in Philadelphia, among them being Dr. William Pepper," provost of the university, Dr. Bartholovv and Dr. Hollingsworth NeiJl. 'sr. Pepper instances a case of a sai...r who was a patient in the university hospital suffering from jmlvuria. .t the time of his admission he ;a.-e l ten pints of urine a day. He was put on an exclusive diet of "Koumiss," one quart being civ- An old German woman in Cin cinnati has been regaling the A'i 'l".ircr of that city with storks of witchcraft brought from the old country. I me man who had several fine horses had unconsciously incur red the displeasure of the witches, and his valuable equines grew thin and died. A witch, whose reputa tion was not of the best, showed her temper by drying up a cow which had formerly given two buckets of milk. The witch, however, after two or three weeks, permitted the cow to give milk as usual. One woman, reputed a skilful witch, cast a spell over a cat, and the feline in turn pursued a youth, making nocturnal visits to his room while he was asleep. The poor young man was nearly choked to death on several nights, but was not aware of his trouble. Telling his brother, the latter one night captured the cat. went to a black smith's in the neighborhood, and, after a good deal of coaxing, induced the smith to fire up his forge, and file a pair of shoes for the cat's front feet. With thi3 accomplished, the young man, in a jubilant frame of mind went home. The next da- it wad ascertained that the witch woman was sick in bed. The youth who had been tor mented by the cat went to see her, and found to his surprise and joy that in the palm of her hands were the catshoes. The witch said, in a sad tone of voice, "You've caught me this time." She begged piteous ly to be released from the shoes, but not until she had agreed to dis continue her mischievous practices en everv twenty-four hours, and in coi'cn lira tlio nrinn Vi1 rliminili. t;v.ttU UilfJ 11 UltllV iitl'l UiUJllll.?li- i , a ed to one pint eleven ounces end I "t r nrpcai Praaieu. the pntient was able to ttke solid! , ... f jod. Dr. Bartholow, who savs that ! " l i a . li, possesses great, vaiue m iue ireai-. -r p t, Tanfrr;pv thought some one was him. Collapse and a call liovolj- Women "loshmg for ice-water. scores ol rave the other wo in perfect with good There are no really ugly girls ; how can a creature upon whom the freshness of youth sets its seal le ugly ? Beauty is only a relative term. No sign, perhaps, can be more conclusive to show the truth of this than the fact that girls, about whom men most, are condemned by men unanimously and faith for they speak faith among themselves as "perfect frights." There is so much to a man's mind in expression that it will often, if not generally, over ride all perception of merepretiiness of feature. Neither can these fem inine critics appreciate in one case out of a hundred the indescribable grace which a well-bred and well- nurtured girl will display in the simplest movement of her head or the play of features. We say noth ing of the charm of figure and ac tion, for that has strictly nothing to do with either a plain or pretty face; but it is seldom found that the health and gentleness which impart a charm to the step or the touch have not their reflex somewhere in the facial muscles which make up half the character of the counte nance. There arc no ugly girls ; plain they may be, but never ugly. Wonders of Broom Corn. the veteran Rochester sportsman, recently had a fight with a porpoise. In a letter from St. John's River, Florida, says; "I will write you of my last strug gle with a large porpoise. I was rowing up in what we call the "witch tide" when this monster came run ning along between me and the bluff. I struck him on the head with my oar. He gave a dart and went ashore like Jersey lightning, and I went almost as quickly after him. Ihen he rushed lor the deep water again, but chanced to open his huge mouth. This was my chance, and I rammed the ore in his mouth and down h3 throat. Then came a tussle he pulled and I pried. Altera long struggle To MusbaniiH i quieted down ; I ran for the boat and got my largest sword. With it Always complain of being tiredfl Pve him a gasI in the throat and remember that no one else gets ! winch made him wild with pain. ment of phthisis, chronic bronchitis low sttges of fever and all adynamic states in which the combined effects of alcohol and nutrients are desira ble, quotes Jagielsky, an eminent Russian physician as saying that he "had patient3 gain as much as ten pounds a month when no other food was taken." The value of the beverage to the President lies in the fact that, while in his present condi tion he cannot digest milk for which he has a craving, he is able to take "Koumiss," which answers even.-purpose of the physicians with perfect success, while it allays the thirst much better than milk. It also has a beneficial effect upon the liver and kidnevs. Broom corn is likely at no distant day to revolutionize "the breadstuff supply of the world. A process has been discovered by which the finest and most delicious flour can be made from the seed to the extent of one half its weight, and leave the other half a valuable food for making beef and milk. The yeild per acre is three hundred bushels, and in many instances five hundred bushels or thirty thousand pounds, have been secured. Nor does it exhaust the soil as Indian com. from the fact that it feeds from the deeper soil, and assimilates its food from a cru der state. It belongs to the same genus as the sweetcane, commonly known as sorghum, which as an ar ticle of food is growing rapidly in public esteem, and from the seed of which a most nutritious flour can be made. A Woman's K.tiierienee. tired. Your wife should have every thing in readiness for you but you should not do anything for her. When your wife asks for money give her a nickle : ask her what she wants with it. and when she tells you, ask her if she can't do with out it. Then go down town and spend ten times the amount for ci gars, for they are a necessity. Go tlown town of an evening, stand around on the street comers and tilk politics ; it is more interesting than to stay at home with your family. Charge your wife with thegos sip, but vou can spin all yams you wish. Have -our wife get up and make fires, but don't get up your self till the rest of the family are eat ing breakfast, as yon might take cold. Wear old clothes, and make yourself as untidy as possible until your wife's health fails ; then it would be best to liix up some, for in all probability you will want an other when she is gone. Have a smile for everybody you meet, but get a frown on before you go home. I.carn to Work. .lter a wline 1 got a chance to make him fast to the boat with a line around his tail. A man came to my assistance and we pounded him with clubs until he was dead. We waited for the next tide, as it is hard work to tow a dead por poise. He doesn't float when dead. By hard work we got him ashore and to camp. Then we measured him. He was nine feet ten inches long, two feet three inches in diam ater, and would probably have weighed more than six hundred pounds." Fashion Xote. A Liberal Reward Will ho Given. Mothers and Daughters should feel alarmed when the feeling of i weariness and languor too constant ly oppresses them. "If I am cross and fretful from the exhaustion of vital powers and the color is fading from my face, I always find imme diate relict in that excellent remedy, Parker's (iin?er Tonic, which seems to build up my system and drive ! tie helps. and melancholy with Now, girls, don't allow mother to darn your stockings ; attend to this ing is really' an accomplishment. cr!or of tnc burah I ake the care of your entire war- j drobe as far as possible. Don't lot a button be off your shoes a minute longer than necessary. It takes just about two minutes to sew one on, anl oh, how much neater a fiot j looks in a trimly buttoned boot ; than it does in a lop sided affair, with half the buttons off. Every j girl should learn to make the sim- j pie articles of clothing. Make the work a study. Once get in the hab it of looking over your things, and ! you will like it wonderfully. You! will have the independent feeling that vou need not wait tor any one s Little girls are appearing as brides maids. Red is much used in summer toi lets and is shown in all materials. A very large Alsacian bow of dark red plush, held by a gilt ornament, is worn in the hair with morning toilettes. Evening shawls in rich colors come so cheap this year that there seems to be no excuse for wearing knit breakfast shawls. Throat bows of satin Surah of pale blue, rose, or lemod-color are trimmed with Spanish lace dved the i convenience in repairing and malt ing, but that you can be forehand in all such matters. The relief to your weary mother will be more than vou can estimate. When yon become as old and worn as she is, you will know how much ever- lit- To the boy who never whistled. To the woman over thirty who never had an offer. To the boy of IS who does not know more than his parent To the widow who does not like to have her mourning becoming. To the young girl who does not think the bovs are all dving after lier. To the politician whoneversought tiie place that seemed to ; seek him. To the writer for the press who never said that his contribution was dashed off The last of the buildings of the Centennial Exhibition of 17U the Main Building was sold at public auction, in Philadelphia, on the !th inst,, for $'.r7,K. The building originally cost $l,G00.Uua In its away pain wonderful certainty. Several of my . , "' : , -'-- WT anj 8,. m pounds ot iron frindshave experienced the sameflJ hashful lover to his sweet-1 pre ; L The structure was benefit from its nse."-A Buffalo '" 1 .want fr4PP?e 1 83 feet long and 4U wide. Many lady. (thing very important to him. No; . wi1 wmemWt its . ' I l.i rnin'ft rn,Aa ia tint fir hAmp lillt ... , i , v:tst proportions, and the wonuenui To sick, colicky, crying babies give Pcruna never any other medi cine whatsoever. Vlaruuer, i:i' 13 uufc at uuiije, Lj vouitin 1 you pre pose to " tlierein. v... r..v Cure for bald heads Change of 'air. 1 am. just as well?" lect success. And he did with per- Take no quack nostrums, vour trust in Peruna. Put "It beats awl," as shoemaker said when I PgSS machine work. the Yankee he saw the
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