Terms of Publication Ths S.a-rsst Herald tt!a?he4 every Wednesday M-rolng at $l W .a 4 nil Ml ii LA n7 annua, Pla - H tETrtDiy UC curB. ft subscript-"" will be UxUnmxl until all tTirM are paid up. Postmasters nct.leeUnj notify Ct tun tuiwcruwr. wu o ma wfc " i. napm will beheld able fc the lubtcxIirtJoa. SoU-d-" remonnr ro Potwaeetoan. . i n th name of the former as !br a- U tit prwnt offtea. Ad.ire.-1 JA? Somerset Hcral Somerset, A'a. ATTuHSEYi AIL AW. V KUOeLAlOBXLT AT LAW, A bvtuemi, Fa. k Al UORNEY AT LAW, Noiuerseu Pesoa. S .ENPSLEY. Sotuereei, i'cnn'a MiTuKUK II SCULL, JATTUKNEY AT LAW. tenter'), 1'. rTw NtiTICE. Alekander It. OoBroth tu I .urord the pracucn ui law ia Somerset and iDUBlit- . UL K.HELUATTtJKNEY AT LAW. Ed U-nntj an i Pension Agent, Simml, rt. Mtniioetb Block. lan. U-U. ',".r,f T1XE HAY. ATTOKNEY AT LAW na dealer in real estate, Somerset, fa., will 'ad to all bmsines entrusted lo hi care with piuwd udelity. aug.lil-lT. ri,HSO. iUMMEL. ATTCKNEY AT LAW, ,) siowerset, ' attend to all hustiiesien irwird to bis care in SwnMi and edjoinlox cran ues it i: promptness and fidelity. Uiiice In .Mam-u-i Bit"'- loll. 18 70-lV ;I.H'KX A COLBOKN, ATTUKXEYS AT I.A ' . All biieiue emruied lo Unar care 1 t speedily and punctually alien Jod lo. J' jHX H. I'HL. ATTOKNfcY ATLAW, MOM-e-i't. Ft-, "11 promptly attend to ail buslcett sutni-ted lo Mm. Money advaDoed on O-lieeUun at oifloe in Alaauuoth timldlng. V o. ujle ATTORNEY AT LAW, gonret. Pa. Frolesrlonal business entrusted to u,j cure attended to witi piumUMnani ncUtjr. r S. a H. L. HAEK, ATTOUNEY.S AT LAW, SK.aierKt, Fa., wul practice Is rkrni aad tilwiuiug ftiiuiUet. Ail tuitincf n truud U) Ueu Ul l prxmplly aileoded lo. U'WJA'st U. KtOxfz. A rTOKX'EY AT Lw, Someraet. lJa., will (rive prymp. atleu tua t lm$iae entrcned to birrurr ia Soiuerset ,r,J :be a 'jidulDK cuoiitle. Clttlo In t'ruillug tiuaM KuW. .WFKUTH A KI PPEL, ATTORNEYS AT j L.w. " lulnw e'iira?l-l to tbelrcarowiU U and pUDt-tuallv attended U. orrirB t n Mnia Crof iiroel, opjoelle the Hamui'.b Uluck. JOHN K. SCOTT, v ATTORNEY ATLAW. Smttm't Pa. t!aoe In the 'ourt ll"Ue. All ?u:ruc1''i tn his care attended tocilh pr.iaiuje and fidelity. J AMES L. rUGII, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Somre!, P. omce. Mammoth Bloi'k.up stairs. tcimnt'C Main l'rP St. Collections ia9de.er u: filial, titles examined, and all lcira U'tisl (ef.i'.'.riided luwitu promptnees and cdell;;. gURVEVlXG, ' Writing Dettl. ic, d--nf f.a li'.:ri c itire. tE-i'juire at Ca??!eer A Co.'r Store. C. V. WALKER. 1 )ENS10N AGENCY. S P Sw. liter ot SinJ Tatfh. S-.inrrsrt onuntjf, ti. Jo"',e ol (ht I'ic-o. ur.;or sn l rliiio armt e til pratpilyc-)lin all llu:itv itnd I'en a.a rUimii ntra;t"d to him. IVru wi-ldnic jit lnhncatiun will addre him r.t l! e: V9Kl plaoe. er.floin5 di";-hrtre ar.d j vtajre Naiui fcr r-ly. pnrsiciA2:s. Dr. E M K I MM ELL & SON .en ier tln-ir profnlioU ferrlce tn the rttl irui. (!.'!nert and vicinity. One ot the nii-ir-l!oi I6e nrm can at all timet, anlr..s pideii liir nmitrd l-e loasd at Ihelr ct!)c, on Main eft txe -i amond. I in Hrriln 1ir Lhe nraotlca ol till ivroMion. I C N II.tTII hu niinMllMi!lTlnmtMl use m'pite Cuarlec krisalnKcr i ttuta. ti.T.a, Tu-tf. DS. H. BRfBAKER tendert blf profcrrlor.U jTTtF to tl:e citlten of Somerset and vi.-in-l'ftMlnreliience,onedour weet of tje Uax tet Houre. D R G. D MASTERS t.M.s lea Gniaafwat fcH tKt nrlMuV fif h.l pT4i'0, nl ten ier hi Tvtcna! TVirwp to f!:il?nii town ana mrrownainsr nmmrj ; vmre m Mucu'itti hi; rrflideoco wito Curilf trire. a i iv!ij.ie fiFVTlsT -Stisien' f t tfti h. i iriHwr,f Kine - DT fltalr. mt he ean at ill times be found prepared to I j ill tir.4 ot wtirk., acha ftlliiia. reirelatlna, ex tranirr. ke. Anihciel teeibof all kint, and ot tiebKiLalorUl.inrtel. tTerati,! warranted. D li A. G MILLER pnrsiciAXk suegeox. Hw rroreO to S urb Bend. Indiana, wbrre he a sv eussulted by letter orothenrUe. Br. W. F. FUNDED BERG IjHe Resident Snrgeen, Jsi Ycri Eye il Ear Mnnarj, El::a:ei pemasert'y ia the iielSCLUSIVZ twatact cf all zzzzx f Ha 273 ari Sir, inui iiro if ths IX3 and Thrc-t. Mkre, -a. CO Sasiltl Btro Stre-el. June in. DESTJSTS. J OUN BILLS, DENTIST. "Sue ns Ooftvili A NeS's new bulWinjr. Main Cross Street. Somen!. Pa BTJl "W. COLLINS, llEXTIST. i!t Caeler A FTa"s sre. Soner.rt. ra. Ia i::e last tilieen Tears I bare ereitly re wl the prior ot artificial leetb ia iit pl-ice. laewcr.ant .-Tafina demand forteeOj li In aml Be too jnlarv my (arllitjes at een MfKwi t teeth at lower prv t ban yoa tl.em in ary other 4aoe tn iwouaiiiT?. I tm &m Bias itif a srwud et of teeth tor -. and li biefii-ld l anr penn snn Bi tlMi)Jl eoc aw, Inthli'or the adioiiiiiia avontle that I save itvie teetbiur that U not Kirtra: ri sal Uy eaa call on me at any lime aud pet et tree 01 cbarire. ari HOTELS. D UMOXD HOTEL. fcrOYKTOWX PA. T (. : i,.t.nl.. .MJ M 1.. u ka. t.1!V "i UirihlT and aewlv reh'.ted with all new M ti. o! lurnnure. whi. b ha made It very ei-aie s:.ipptMr place .tb traTeiina Mlc JU' lnn nvinican not t surpae-l all l-e- RW clw. wr.h a lan;e public bail attached b R.uie Aiw U'ra end roorcv etaljlini:. tirr, c;a. b.r,nc can be had at U-e" lowt p e l?tn.i by week, day or meat. Will' Ki .Cl'STKH.I 'rop. S . E. Cor. lilamoe i. -sij CI. Stoy stowa. Ta. DAVIS BROS,, HOvbc, Sign and Fresco PAINTERS. S01LESET, P4. A SIOJfTH ruaranteed. t'i a day ; t b-.e aiaUe by tbe tu.J.-iii'-un- ' 'api al But rraire : w wul rt l Mrs. uuh. ! auu ttiria r r'kio lb worn it lht icd , v?st' u. t as acyusw can (to rvkl a!. 1k are me w!m eee this aotie ul ed ' .. '!' s'Owih at or and lor Ibem eivr. iljl !' aa. tens tree. Ni w is tbe time. aTjJadJ al Bura are laying ap lar, u Aui TRl t A CO.. A upurta, Kalne. i aue .1, 1 I VOL. XXVIII. NO. 4S. BAKES, ETC. NEW GOODS! Coh!r A fa. liave just rereived from she Eart rra citie a titt ianr STOCK of GOODS Whiob they arr now oHVrtn at extreaiely LOAV PRICES. Their Moot of DEESS GOODS Is very Urge, anJ an the had l4dc!T their old REDUCED PRICES, Ther now have on band aa entirely NEW and well S ELECT EnSTOt'K or DRESS GOODS. of tlie very LATEST and BEST STILES Fonnd In the Eastern mirkrt wliich they will wi ai prions lo pull al. Tbtirs' if a ireiieral stock, yn?Istln; of DRY GOODS, "OTIOS, HARDWARE, HATS and CAPS l'AI.VTS and OILS, a:OCLRIHS, iii:i:xsvare. ri sir, carpets, TAPLE & FLOOK OIL C LOTHS, W A LL & WIN DO W PA rElt. &c , Ac, ic. Ftvn tlie lofiif esta!ilihl repn'.itkm for (air dealt? n thlji tiiin h" auinrd. tlie tuite?t eonhdeoee aa ! plartt In all reprejentatioc made ty any jierj.'a cmniei wiih tneaiere. Tliey now have on band the LARGEST ASSORTMENT IN TOWN. W ben you come to town, call and we for your CASEDEER & CO. Somerset Pa., Aptlr ilnio TKAVI3X2SrK7 :o:- Sonsrsct County Bank CHARLES J. HARRISON. Casltirr o:l J&ottager. Cotleetfcioi made in all psn oftlieCuueu Sutea. Chances moderate. Butter and othcT enccks col' lerted and rashed. Eastern and Wetiernexrhanice altrays on hand. Krtclttani'es made with prompt rcss Accounts auhvited. Pr.r.iea deslrtcg to pureha? V. S. 4 PER CENT. Fl'NDED L".AN, can be accommo lnfd at this liaiik. The capons are prepaid In donominatlons of to, VX). ftoo and 1 ox. mo. sints la srs a. aic aa Apis lor Firs ana Li Insurance, JOHN HICKS & SON, KOMi:iiSHT. PA.. &nd Real Estate Brokers. ESTABLISHED 1850. Ptriwis who dertre to sell, bay or eiehansre prep. erty, or lor rent will hml it to their advantage to resrifter the dewrtptioo thereof, as noehar:elf madennleM sold or rented. Kexl ettata bosuss Kenerally wUlbe promptly attended to. aoclR. S. T. LITTLE ct- S OXS, ICS 1ULT1M011E9TREET, CIJMBEULAND, Md. WATCHES, CUAISS. JCI.ID SLI EfilTJfiE, DlAMOXDS. J.fr.RICAS CLOCKS, FRESCH CLOCKS. S1LFEB PLATED HARE, JEWELS r,,c HOLIDAY PRESENTS! ' Watches and Jewelry Repaired by Skilled Workmen and returned by Ex; res Free of Chanre. No extra charge for Ensravln;. Goods war ranted as represented oct li AUCTIONEER. 1)ARTIESne!int; ray serrke no Real or Per sonal tate. or any bins; 10 be di(el 01 at aoctton, will bod I wul ri entire satlslaeUoa All letters I'j atail promptly attended to. W. A. K"ONTZ, Dec.3L Owfiuenee, Pa. CHARLES HOFFMAN, MERCHANT TAILOR, f AxtT T. 3. Korcr"s tMEce.) "KAMEOTH BLOCK," SOMERSET, I3V. LATEST STYLES Hi LEWEET PRICES. tlT SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. V. F WALKER ot thix place ha a K4 ol hi celebrated Horn Rake f.r Mle lieiter than evej and rtte.p. Any one w he wamneaton'. wouW d well to end hito a tHial card or tn eoen ...ai uv i orncr to make sure ol gettlce oce.as be In his round? of lolling tnishl not boc all wi o war.t rakes. Slay in AiSearch Warrant. allowt an orT.cer to go thrrnrh your tont rom I Searcher is warranted in y.i tfirnuah rur t Its cure are wonderiul an certihed to by durfora. iireaelwr aid pevjde. Scrr.fula MrrrurKl IjIs Krvfiilas. Tetter, fleer in the Lucgsor on the Sain Bolls Ftrai les. ke . we warrant it to cure. It I a partly ciret!il- t'otcpound and Powerful Tonic Kr fcile ny all Iniinst be that our nme Is tin the hottoTi of the wrapper, li. E. StLLtii? AtJ) Prop'rs. FitulHirKA, Pa C N BOYD, Ageat Soirenet, Pa- A 1 t-i ri TO CWO A T L A R, er i to $. a li' I L 1 1 1 I -taj m Jo"r waloiality. Norisk. I O 1 1 1 I "men 00 a well a men Many (1 I 1 1 1 1 I I make more than tbeamouat faied Y x w wil. Jioooe ran tail to make Dinner fafX. Any one can do the wurt. You eaa Biake'trom S c s'u-r-aa hour by devoting Joar evenlr and sjire time to tb bo-lnea It euwt botkiia I" try ttiebuMDeea Nomina like It lor nviH-y makiig ever eSfre.1 bel-ire liu.loess pleasant ami ttrlctly bvoorble. header. If vou want to know all alit ib et paying bailDeM Helore Ike public. i as your rauie and we will setklxou full particulars and private term free: nmi"iw worth t also free ; jmu caa thea aiak uf up tour mind 'r Tour'lf . Address 4 IX k.G E STINSI N A XI.. June 11 P-Tlaad. Maloe. If A W tl-A an vou'own town, and ao cap. yus see Sney.rell wbat yoa eaa no at the htuu nessweotle'r No room to'xpiaiu here. You eaa teve all yoar time or .inly yur spare time to tbe ba-if-. aod make great iay for every hour that yoa work V'oaien make as'maeh si "men Sead li et'ceial rivaie-terB)S an-1 particulars, which we mail free, ti tiu'nt free. lx t evmpbua of hard tunes while you have sorb a chanre. Adilrwt U. HALLKTT, t'urUacd.iiaioe. June li. Til ikobiici mm WANTED ! A rt-rlaft Life Infcraace Cfflipnav ia Xew To k w.bi artll .E!e.K4a. awe) I-SX A l.tt.l, la auorvopMd terrHorv ia ti e Slat d lennnivTinia. Addrr MA .tiA I.IK or Al.t.MlEh. JP m. I0O, ew) ari rati VBic. n n r LUiwlw ia can giveiae ruuoen a 1 fl irt.l itht-ut eipenee. The bet ofipor M II lUM'y ever tleml be tboee wIIIIsk w work Vie sboaid tnr uhi a "Ireroti 10 S. H. ZJMJJCHMAX. CEO. SXYPEH SOMERSET FOUNDRY. ZIMMERMAN & SNYDER, Allkln.isorcastlns; made and for ale, eonjirt lag lu part of SVG A It CRATES, S LED SOL E S STOVE L I XI X G S A XD O It A TE S.TLO If A X D S HEARS, d r. dr. dr., The BOAZ, STONER and KECLA Xo. 3, 4 and 5 IIEATIXG STOVES, Made and ;fcr salr. All kinds or CstloifS maile to order at short notice. A MACIIIXE SHOP s at tashed to the Foundry tn which all kind of Machinery will be repaired promptly. We r dotns; a general FOUNDRY BUSINESS, And solicit all kinds or orders In our line. KErAIKINU A SPEC1PLTT. Kot. H H M'CALLUM, 77 FIFTH AVENUE, Above Wood Strret CAEPETS, LIGNUM, LINOLEUM. OIL CLOTHS, AN IMMENSE STOCK BOUGHT AT Low Prices of Three Months Since. The Greatest Advantage in Frices will be given to Early Purchasers. March 31 3mo Hit con5tan'Jy on hand at his distillery PURE RYE WHISKIES, For Mle by the barrel or jrallon. suited for MEDICAL ADD MECHANICAL PURPOSES. (.nlers skMiw. to Berlin, Pa., U1 receive prompt aitcntin. .ft area x. v WALTER ANDERSON, EffPDfi C03.WDCD ST. A5D SIXTH AYESUE. NO. 226 LIBERTY STREET, PITTSBURGH, J?J. IcblS SPRING, 1880. CAEPETS! A Large and Choice Stock of In grains, Tapestry Brussels, Body BtuesqIs, Slorquetts and Axmin- store, with Rugs and Borders to match. Also Oil Cloths, Linoleums and Lignuma. Sa. 33 Fifth Avssus, PITTSBUEGH, PA. OUST OUT! HCOE'S GREAT BOOK OF THE WAR. ADVANCE KETR EAT- Personal Erpcricnce in the Vni- ted States and Confc-ler- atc States Armies : Dv GENERAL. J. 13. HOOD, Ijite LlesueMBfCearrol femfeKlcrals sttaiea Arsssy, saslsali far The Hgd3 Orpto Memorial FirnJ, nv Ceneral G. T. Beauregard. New Orleans, 1880, The entire proceeds aritBg frota the ealo of this work ate dvvtd to The Hno.1 Orphai Me mt.ial r and, which t hivnied la I'nticl Slate Keel'teiod Busid lor tbe curt are, rare, support aao awiucatioo of the tea rataai deprived ol ihoir parents laac rammer at New Orleans, (lb. mel aoebolv iscbieats ot which aad bereavement are still irrsh I tbe pahite muni,) The B k i an eiegant octavo, enutainine SSS p. art. wl;h a bne pSotograp likeness and a line steel engraving, made eiprrisly for this work, (our larae map of battle behla bound tn band tooiaUray Eo;!lh t'lotb. at T-ire Dollar, or ia a t ine Sticco Binding, witk Mar le Edge, Tkr.e sollar mmm fifty sa la Half! Uoaa-1 Noroce LilT.ry atyla, Wmmr Sllr, oriutnebm Levant rurkry Moruceo, lullUtUj Sid' and Ei're. s lw Itollara. I On t be r eeipt f rum any peraoa remitted by , mall or exiireoa. ot tbe autuuat In a reguiered let-1 ter or ty a postal order, bank draft or check, a copy will be immediately sent free of pottage, rg- j Utenwi a seeucM-eiaea matter. ! 1 be volume ts pablitbed la ta beat style of tv- j puttrapby, ob eiegaot paper, wits UlattralioaJ, axe-wed at big Beat apvcimeot of art. Tbe .at bur. tbe tui jeet, tba purpose, all alike render it wo thy to a pUee ia every library, on every desk or upon lbs book statu of every Bouaa j ui ta country. Apmtt rtVrf ia carry fatrn aaa ceaaf y ia tae (awed Vara. a a a snrts atlf or civca fa aeaaraMjsIttrasreeetWrraatrsafatsraB. Tithe tad let. who reel a detlre to expreas their sympathy with lac Kood Orpa AtoaanaJ t aad tbe tale of lb It book among ib.ir circle of trteBdt, ' will aKorii aa excellent way of euDUibaiin; Bab aotiai aid lo to deterring a cause, j FOB TERMS, EATES TO AGENTS. ETC.,' ADDRESS WITH FULL PAKTICTLAES, ieh'l ti. T. l f CTtrd, tBl)lfND.r, I OX iiEUALE OF THE UOUl .HKiiUKIAL Fl'Mi. New Orleans, La. MERCHANT TAILOR oiii CHILDUOOO'4 GOLD. They need not gt to Ur away, Tbrocuch heat and cold, to bunt for go'd ; . Tbey might befide us sit or stay Our binds are full a ihcy eaa bold. I .(old ! Gold I poure 1 out or the sky Pu fu m. till .1. im iIak. B IVW I (SW v( Kill . wj as , With railing leaves it flashes by, In ll'inld gold the rivers run. Twas scattered all the way from school, In stars and bells adown the dells ; W children leathered aprons lull, Where little Dandelion dwells. And yellow Cowslips to our fret Come, ilk a king, his board to bring ; And Columbine, with nods so tweet. Shook gold apa our path gay thing ! What goblet (listens with aueh wine As the bee rapt from the buttercups ? What gold beads 00 the wet grass soioe, FtjiarVllug to biaexy downs and up ! Our bemet are tweet upon tba hills. Where lore 1 sun and tlie is pure, And sunshine every teatoa Alls ; How eaa a country child be poor ? No rubber scare our midnight noun ; NooofU-rs eould our treasures bold ; Dewdrop and sunbeams, stars and flowers O ld ! Gold ! Whorhare our household gold ? the trtKoo'H ttojm. Ten o'clock bad just strock ia all the clocks of tbe little town of U , ia tbe caatoa of Iscrne, aad a metal ic oadalatioa seemed mill to ribrate ia tbe air, prolonging iteelf from bouee to bouse, from street to street, to indicate tbat tbe oiormog was ad vaocing. Tbe sireeu were crowded witb paaeers-bj, workmen, peasaote, laborers, idlers, rich and poor. Tbe little town was but a great capital on a email tcale. Tbe snercbaats uncov ered ibtir goods and removed the dust ol tbe uighi. Tee gossips pae.s- td from one door to another in tbe midst of the universal activity, aud eacb one on crjing good morniog raid a liule evil ci one, a gread deal of another, acid ibuugbt still more of bis interlocutor ao too eee it was tbe whole ot society iu diminutive. "Ten o'clock !" cried the bitr. brawny butcher Herman whose epouge vigorously wielded wad mak iug the elabs of white marbel bril liant where were arranged tbe quar ters of beef and nituton. Ten o'clock! and our ocigbbor Samuel Stauffer mill bleep! It is astonish- lug " His face, tinged with red Co rile, witti us beary, tquare chin, and pale blue eyef, expressed, in fact, couipleie amaZetj eui. "inai s so, vou are right re sponded tbe grocer, who came out on bia'd jor s;ep tttistiug a long oruuet of paper and leaning forward a liule tn order to penetrate more materially luto tbe pbenomeuon which curved and elevated the brows of the butch er like tbe atcbes of a bridge. "Tbe broker has not raired one of his shut ters, and uotbing reeoisto be moving iu the houie; yet his domestic, Jeau Muller, is habitually an early riser, aad this is tbe first time I have ever riceu before bira." - "Dab! wbat trade could he make ibis morniog? Perhaps the storm of Ic-et night biuderea bid sleeping, and be is making up for it now." ' Ob, wbat a storm it was!" re maiked tbe grocer. "1 tcarcily cksed my eyes; tbe febutters rattled and the hinges creaked, and bang, a chimney tumbled into my court. I have ra.-ely beard such a high wind since 1 have beeu ia business here." "Witboat counting," added th butcher, "tbe thunder, bail and rain, one could almost say the devil was conducting a dance." And be accen tuated bis little jjke with a load laugb, which shook fcis stomach aod sbotldcrs so that tbe fat on bis ctia and cDetks bad terrible coauUiob& "Hush ! Herman, never say that, it is ao evil omeo, believe mo.:' On, what a tuperctitious fellow you are, friend Dlocb ! One must have laugb now and then." "I admit that euhjeet of cooverta tio i is repugnant to me, always: for etry lime tbat hideous name is men tioned, there is misfortune lurking aomewbere.' Tbe laugh of tbe batcher increas ed at the sight of the pale lace of bis companion. "Well, well, yoa are timid. I will be still, for you will finish by think iug me a bcape gat but what cap old Samuel be doing ?" "Let us rap at bis door. Wbat do yoa say ?" Tbe grocer indicated with bis fingers, without budging, the house of Samuel, and the batcher, without ppeaking, directed his step toward the little chop. It Lad twta fljors surniourted by an attic, and seemed tj bury among the other buildings its pointed roof, covered witb tiles, and tj conceal wiib a wora and patched air, tbe ship which occupied tbe whole of the ground fljor. Tbe wooden shat ters rohdlv fixed by large iron bars, and tbe front door witb its tight bolts luptan unaccustomed sueuce. On the fljor above, the blinds stopped up the windows hermetically, and ibis buose wim its eves closed ia tbe mide. of tbe morning bustle, seemed an ominous aspect. 0a tbe roof tbe weather vaue turned bv tbe wind emitted every now and then a mournful cry, tbat resembled the muau of a sea gull across tbe hurri cane which agitates tbe tea. The butcher struck the bars with bis fist, and listened to tbe echo tram-milted by the solitary knock through tbe corridors ot tbe bouse. He wailed a few minutes, then knocked again, and called loudly with bis strong Voice .No answer. A vague terror stole into bis breast and made bis heart beat witb quck ened motions. He felt under tbe in fljeoce of tbe silence, broken only by tbe sad, irritating cry of tbe weather vaae, and be dared not knock again. "No answer ?" cried Bloct to him from afar. Then be advanced slowly, pushed by curioeity only exceeded by bis aUrm . "It is extraordinary ! I cannot explain iL ilww is it tbat Beit her Samuel or bis servant answer to my calL Could they both be dead? Bloch, 1 think it is our doty to earn mon the chief of police. 1 will send one cf my boys. Wait here," When tbe police arnveo, accompa nied by bis men, a surgeon aod a locksmith, he was obliged to trover a dence crowd which increes d ef.-ry minute, Burginir around like the waters of a river o?rfloinir iu banks, and showing an eager desire set or ESTABLISHED, 182 SOMERSET, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 5,18S0.. to pecotrate the secret The lock was thrown back ia a few minutes ao'1 tbe door opened. - E'erythiog lent to' tbe mystery. The obscurity gave to the betero clitic objects fantastic shapes. Sam uel Slauffer bought and sold every thing, luruiiure, collections, novel ties, antiques, silver goods and kitch en utensils eacb was aa article of trade to bim. A thick dust a sort of secular ashes, aad altrays re epeeied, were everywhere blending toe colors aaa Boitenmjr; lbs angles I be npiders, working , without tear, bad hjixbed br aoiun? hroiiz paiotiags and crockery. Fhe door was guarded by two po licemen to p event tbe invasion ul tbe carious crowd. Tbe chief, con ducted by tbo butcher and grocer, b nh familiar with the hoasebold, and iolloed by the surgeon, ascended toe stairs slowly, one after aootber. and arrived ia front of tbe old Jew's room. Tbey kuucked-nfe formal a Tl -1 - I a. uy. ton uoor, Closea OQ1V wun a latch, olTired no resistaocj. Toe po 1 ceman dvauciag a few steps found himself ia the must profoaad obscu rity, aod ddmaaddd if some oue bad brought light. No one had thought of it. - i r "Walk straight ahead !" said tbe butcher, "the window is opposite the bed." . i . The chief having fallowed this ad vice, opened tbe window and threw back tbe blind?, which ; intercepted the light of day. Tbe litrfac pene trating quickly into tbe rooms, hi op a horrible tableau, and a feeling ot terror caused those to -recoiL who stood bebiud tbe policemen. Tbe disordered bed was not only massed, but trampled : tbe covers were thrown about and dragged into the centre of tbe room, with tw chairs overturned. Oa the table, soiled by greace which bad dripped from tbe caudle, was a carafe half fi led witb water and a broken glass Erery thing denoted a violani straggle, a ternoie resistance, that of a victim against a murderer. In front of the bed banging on the wall was one of those clocks called a cuckoo. Bat what a bide oos sight. One of tbe weighted chains which bung from the cuckoo was wound about tbe Leca-f the on fortunate Samuel Stauffer, suspended four lacnes from tbe fljor. Tn face already purple, tbe features iaflt.ed and convulsed, showed tbat all hope was lost. 5amuel was dead. Tbe surgeon hastened to ascertain, as Boon as tbe body was stretched n the bed. Tte iron chain! was deep ly incrus ed ia the flsb( makiug a fearful bloody collar, h irrible to see Tbe baodsof tbe clockarrested on the face pointed to three ia the moru la r;. Tbere were therefore eveo hours that tbe broker bad ceased to live. The m tioa mug; have left the clock ai tbe same time at the Uit breath left tbe lips of t&tr' dattd tpaa Was it murder or suicide: Jus tice ta ber tara should decide. If one judged simply from tbe inspection ofine place, tbe struggle was a startling evidence of mu'der. Tbe broker had bee i surprised ia his bed, sound asleep: be bad resisted as long ns bid weak body aod age would oermtt Two chairs over turned, the broken glass, noises which were lost ia, the storm; the murderer seizing tbe chain of tbe cuckoo and iraohng ibe Jew, and leaviug bim banging just graziug the floor ; ibis was the theory of tbe po licemen a theory ao plan-table tbat the assistants and even tbe surgeoo listeccd without dispute. If you imagine a suicide," re Commenced tbe ptlicfmai, who was warming up to bis ruoject, and agi tating bis arms, "ihea Samuel Stauf fer got opon a chair, and kicking it over with bis too:, remained banging ty tbe neck. It is madmi-sible. Qo can yoa explain the broken itUes? Wbv two chairs overturned instead of oaa? Why this disordered stale of the bed, the blankets dragg ed to tbe foot of the wall, uearly nader tbe clock? Find a connection with the theory of suicide and ex plain it it yoa can r' lie stopped out ot breath- fcvery oue was si leu t, regarding the corpse with hi.rror. Aftei a moment tbe surgeon said : Pardon me, master! But from whence came tbe assassin, and how could be bave opened the door." "Yoa think it was suicide ?" said the policeman, tartly. "Dm," said the big butcher, com ing forward, "Samuel Ss.au 3er bad a servant." "Tbe servant, ab ! I bad forgotten bim," said the policeman witb a tri umphal regard toward tbe surgeon "(2 tick, ir and find bin Hern aa and tbe chief precipitated themselves into tbe room which was occupied by Jean Muller. Ia one corner the domestic ol the Jew a young men of twenty-five. half dressed was crouched on the floor like some wild animal, holding bis bead ia bis hands, without voice, wiihout l.fe, haggard and appearing to be under a terrible imprest-ion. "What are yoa doiag ?" asked the policeman, who dared not approach bim. No reply Muller did not badge Tbey assisted bim to rise aad pup ported bim under tbe arms. He let them do it with complete indiao-r. " a a a a ence. uermaa nanaea Dim nisjtccei and supported on eacb side tbe young man wa conducted into tbe presence of bis murdered master. Wbea he recognized tbe room of Samuel StauHdr, a trembliog seized his limbs and by a quick motion be attempted to escape, but tbe iron band of the batcher checked the de spairing effort. The chief of police turned his head : his suspicions were beginning to ne confirmed more and more every minute. Brought before the bed opposite tbe corpse already cold, he regarded it stupidly, nut witfioot tear. Jt was not nntil be tamed aad saw tbe fatal chain that any terror seemed to pos sess him. lie trembled violently, his teeth chattered and falling on bis knees he appeared to ask for mercy. But Lot a sound issued frm bis lips; he made only the moat incomprehensi ble gestures. "The boy was not dumb before ? aske l the chief. "He rpoke without; doubt?" 7. "Perfectly," replied Bloch. "Go ahead, Jean, answer! Tell as who killed your master, the old Jew?" Tbe domestic did not reply. "This man appears to be noable to speak," said tbe surgeon, who ex amined Muller attentively. "It may be tbat tbis murder has struck bim ia a terrible aod unexpected manner We bave celebrated examples of inch cases among the witnesses of har rowing scenes." "Tbat is well enough for witnesses but do yoa thins tbe same effect can be prodased oa an assassin once his crime is accomplished?" "Tbat I do not know " "Bat will tbe law admit this weak circumstance ? We can jadge of it very soon. Yoa mast kaow that menta. derangement and dumbness are two great ways of vindicating culprits. I have seen criminals pre tend insanity for entire months, in such a manner as to defeat science aod physicians and to avoid tbos tbe capital punishment they so greatly merited." "I cannot, however, believe it a crime," responded tbe surgeon. "In waiting the trial, the law which I represent, and which ought to protect society, arrests and im prisons Jean Mailer, accused on til farther proof of tbe crime of homo- cide, intentional aod perhaps premed itated, on the person of bis master Samuel Stauffer, merchant and bro ker, is obtained." The domestic suffered himself to be led without maoife-iting the least emotion. The police surrounded him to protect bim from the insults of the mob. Tbe cuckoo to which tbe unfortu nate man was hang was carried to the prison and disappeared behind the beary door and massive bolts of tbe jail. On tbe day after they buried Sam uel Stauffer, bis goods were s ld at auction, for he left no will or heirs. But they could not find a purchaser for tbe bouse, which was closed and passed immediately for a sionteraad dangerous dwelling. It was strictly avoided when night fell, and often the grocer Bloch, who dwell oppo site, would shiver witb agony bs tweea tbe sheets, believing be heard eboui9 behind the blinds of tbe late Samuel Stanffer. Two months sped by two long months, during which lite bad re taken - its habitual coarse two months ia which a thousand inci dents of tbe act bad accumulated slowly on the terrible event which took place tbe night of tbe storm Tbe Utile boose at last found a par chaser, when they bad almost de spaired of ever boding one. It was aa old Jew, a pedler. who annouoced bis intention to take tbe basioess ! Samuel Stauffer. Bat - be had not opeoed shop yet. lhe utile town or it was in a perfect flutter of excitement. Toe people crowded and pressed around tbe courttioa-e. Jean Mailer was about to be tried, and the cariosity wbicb bad been increasing day by day had now reached iu culminat ing point. Jean bad not yet spoken. His lawver himself bad not been able to draw him from bis obstioate dambw ness wbicb seemed almost sapernaia ral Wbat could be hope for ? Tbe law face to face with tbe horror of the crime would be pittiless toward such stubbornness at least unless the insanity of the oofortaoato young man could bo proven, and it was this coarse wbicb bad been adopted by bis lawyer, who not only saw no other way to save him, bat he bad come to believe it himself. Tbe trial began ; the judges and jurymen took their places. Uaog ng on tbe wall was tbe fatal cuckoo, n had become an instrument of death a certain proof of the crime. There it was, a silent, sinister witness marking the hoar of three. Tbis clock was a little larger than are usually made, wbicb explains how it could support the weight cf a maa. A sort ot niche in the wood work bid tbe bird from sight who sang tbe hour. Tbe public could not look at it without fear. Every one felt the influence of the mystery, and all thought tbat the trial would not throw much light on it, unless the accused ould be made to speak The prisoner was ordered to ap pear, lne crowd swayed use a bei.i of wheat in the wind. All beads were turned toward tbe same place tne liule door by whtcb Jean Mul ler entered- Every sound ceased and a silence like death weighed on this multitode, so restless, so tumultuous boi an instant before. Muller advanced between two guards, tall, thin and fair, with a gentle look; bis eyes troubled and bis bead lowered, tie walked with out knowing wbat he "did Not a sound escaped his lips: bis move ments were those of an Idiot! his glance was fixed on the ground. Tbe witnesses gave their testimony it 'all teoded toward a crime. ! was alone in the house with bis mas ter; be was bidden wren tbey madej tbe discovery ; he bad neither con fessed or denied the murder. One question alooe remained to decide bis fate. Had he committed the murder in cold blood or in a t of in sanity. Jean Muller hd not raised bis eyes, tie seemed uemer to near or uuderetand. It was like a torsb ex lingmsbed Suddenly in one corner of tbe ball tbere arose a mnrmer, which iocreas ed Utile by Mile till it reached tbe front ranks. A man traversed tbe crowd, using his fists and elbows to make himsell a free pa-sage, and arriving near the orisonar he looked at lion with a strange sneer, then leaping ngntiy over the railing which separated the tribunal and tbe public he addressed himself to the jodgea: "Gentlemen, will yoa permit me to make a test to recall this unfortu nate man to reason ? I am called Elias Wolfmann, Your Honor. 1 sold this clock to the late Samuel Stauffer, my worthy co-religionirt. " A abiver ran through his bearers at tbis declaration ; the cariosity was redoubled ; every ear was wide open. The Jew Wolfmann was a tall, an golar personage, witb a yellow beard floating in two points from his chin ; bis nose was sharp and bis small era.- srsfl were hidden beoeath tbe bosby eyebrows; a continual sneer hovered around the corners of his moutb. He wore a long coat reach ing to hie ankles, gathered at tbe waiste with a wiie belt and immense brass buckle. His costume was uot flatteriog and the residents of II did not associate with him willingly. It was witb great interest that tbey looked at bim, detailing bis dress scrutinizing his features. lie ap peared false and perfidous. "I ask bat one icing, saia ce, tbe permission to pat in motion this clock " It was granted. Then mounting a chair be put ia motion tbe peada- lam. At tbe fourth stroke tbe niche opened and the cuckoo appeared on the threshold, ana singing three times announced the tour, nardly tod it finished wben music bidden in tbe body of tbe cl ick played tbe ' Hauz des oches" bat in a manner so Diercinc- and wierd that it awed everyone. At the moment when tbo cuckoo rang, Jean raised himself like oue awakened from a dream ; he gazed at the clock with arm outstretched, and bis mouth open expressing aa awful fear. "On !" said he trying to cover his face with bis bands. Tbe clock bad resumed its monot onous tic-tac and tbe hands moved mechanically around its face. Wben the music ceased Jeai stood erect, and said with a steady voice, looking at the judges : "Wbat do you wish? Wby have you arrested me? lam innocent. I will swear it. My maHter killed himself. I am saying nothing bat the truth; I have come to myself. The night of th marder was a fearful one, as yoa all know," said the young man; "a storm mixed with rain, hail and tbuc der, eo tbat nothing wbicb trans pired at my master's c iuld bo heard in tbe neighborhood. Samuel Stauf fer entered the boose at nine o'clock ia tbe evening carrying this clock under his arm, and it was I who bung it solidly to tbe wall of his own room opposite his bed. He seemed enchanted with his bargain aad talk ed of it incessantly. . At ten o'clock I assisted bim to regulate the cuckoo aod to put it ia motion. At half past tea it struck for tbe Grst time and played tbe air wbicb yoa just beard. I wa3 helping Samuel Siauf fgr to disrobe. He turned to me ab ruptly as if something bad struck him. "Do yoa not think that music very strange V said he. "I told him effectually that it had shaken my nerves a little, at which he laughed heartily. "'Well,' he explained, 'go to bed, thai will calm you.' "I lef, bim then alone and ascend ed into my room just above his, where, owing to tbe aga oi tbe boose a piece of displaced plastering ena bled me to see all that passed in my master's room. I was preparing for bed when 11 o'clock struck and tbe music began again. I heard my master turn in his bed, and it dis turbed me eo I cast a glance into bis room. He was standing ia front of toe clock, a candle in bis band, gaz ing at it with aa anxious air as it tbe sound irritated bim. I went to bed and in ten miootes slept profoundly "The time new by, and 3 o'clock bad just struck wbea I beard aa ex plosioa of furious cries beneath me. Then it was tbat I witnessed a hor rible spectacle Samuel Stauffer, t aming at tbe moutb, his eyes start ing from their sockets, shook his fist at the clock, crying, 'yon will cause my death, but yon Trill not ring any more ' "Ia an iostant he leaped cpon a chair, and passing one of the chains around his neck, pushed the seat from under him and remained bang ing Tbe clock stopped instantly at three oclock "rale with horror I looked at him, unable to help him. I had a fright ful desire to imitate bis example bad I gone below it would lave been certain death. I do not remember anything more nntil to day. "That is tbe whole tratt, gentle men, and yon mast have felt tbe strange impression prodaced by the song of this cuckoo. As he finished the half hour struck aod held anew every one witb its in explicable power. The members of tbe jury could thus jadge by their own sensations the truth of its reci tal made by tbe accused. Tbe jury retired to deliberate Wben they entered, the verdict was simply the acquittal of Jean Muller. The verdict was received with ereat applause. Tbe Jew, Wolfmaar, was brought before the br. "You will bo con ducted to the gates of tbe city, and forbidden to ever step foot inside again. The prioe of tbe bouse por. chased by yoo will be refunded, and this internal clock shall be publicly burned." The hour was about to strike but tbe movement was arrested Conducted outside the walls, the JeT Wolfmann never resnneared. and tbe cuckoo was burned on the place before tbe prison. Ibe grocer Blocb is certain tbat the devil constructed tbe clock, and his oeighbor Herman, more credu lous now. dared not contradict him. The little house of Samuel Siauf- fer was given to Jean Muller, who let it fall in ruins. He replaced it by a new building soon, for every body tried to assist him, aod they iro to his shop to listen to tbe history of toe death or tbe Jew, and tbe terri ble song of the cuckoo. A Ware la Haabaaaa. Perhaps yoa have never guessed it, bat, if ebe is not it is yoar faalt, yoar wife is a rocial and intellectual being. She was so wben yon married ber. If yon have been growing away from ber, and abe has been standing till, tbe more shame to you. To bay her dresses and bonnets, sod give a good boase aod table does not equip ber. Sbe waotSajotellectoal food and stint ul as; and yet yoa are the ooe to provide it. While yon are among men discussing business politics, re ligion or wbat not, she is with the house-maid discassiog crockery, or with the cook discussing beefsteak, or with the children playing tbe t WHOLE NO. 1504. part of nurse-maid. When you come borne at night tired, do yoa not think she is tired too ? Bring something witb yoa tbatyoar market- basket cannot contain. Bring tbe news of the day; bring tbe latest, freshest thought. In buying-your evening paper, or subscribing tn yonr monthly magaziae, or renewing your religious weekly, get what uites ber need and meet3 ber tastes. There is more in that patient, auiet, silent wife of yours thaa yoa think for. Yoa bave frozen ber np by yoar con tempt tor womsacood ; for treating yoar wife as a toy, to be pleated only with dresses, and to be fed only on guSsip, is the worst kind or contempt. If she does not feel it so, it is only because she has degenerated, that abe may fit tbe place that yon have pre pared tor ber. Above all bring ber love. Your life is ia mauy things ; ia your store, your customers, your clieats, your politics. Her lite is ia ber house hold. Her home is her realm ; ber children are ber subjects; ber bus baud is her king; her ambition ia satisfied with their love and their praise. Yoa are cruel if yoa deny it to her. Grumble over the muddy coffee and burned steak if yoa like: she can hear tbat it yoa will only com mend tbe coffee wbea it is clear and ibe steak when it is juicy. "Her has band praiseth her," says Solomon in pis description of the excellent wo man ; doubtful if she had been so excellent if be had not praised her. Praise is comely. A little praise judicionsly used is sunshine ia a dark ened borne, and oil on complaining machinery. Hot often have you come home, aad she, waking for your coming, baa gone to greet yoa, and yoa absorbed ia business yoa oughtto have left behind you, bave givenher a kiss with as much life in has last Summer's rose. Our subject is fruitful. Ii is well nigh inexhaustabie. But our homily is already so long that we fear tbat aomo husbands" will not read it through. It is all summed op by Paul ia one sentence: "Husbands, ove your wives." You are never tired of quoting Paul's injunction. Wives submit yourselves to your husbands." Suppose you drop that for a year and go oa three verses, to Paul's injunction to yourself. v. h riatia n Union Leap. Year flint. Girls kaow only one 'iiariei as much about courting as bos, be cause itey hare only one year ia every four to pot it into practice. As a matter of course. leap year finds tbem poorly prepart ! to 'step in and win,' and we wul ive a few hints as to bow it should be done. First, fix op in style, black vonr boots carefully, beels and all, and if ibe 'shine' don't come ia a hurry, slap tbe brash across the room into a corner, qaotiag what scripture you happen to know. Twill be a big job to put on your collar and necktie, aad the chances are tbat there will be more looking in the glass than in the fellow com ing to see you. Stroll down to the barber shop and get shaved, and bave tbe barber 'oil up' freely, otherwise all elTorts to grease the wall paper will be futile. On the way to 'his' bouee speak to all tne fellows yon know; this is a good point and tbe only way to pay bim back for flirting with tbe girJs. As yoa near the house, cross the street and pass by it This will give a chance to see it the parlor is light ed and to surmise ii any other girl is calling. If, wben yoa step up and pull tbe door bell your heart is not in your moutb, you've struck the ' wrong house Inquire if the young gentlemen are in, and don't forget to wear your bat, hang it up on the piano, or tbe floor, or some other place. Chew cloves assidiously daring the call, otherwise 'ha' may think yon are drinking. If be is a htile, timid blushing thing, talk a boot the weather, his mi, or pa, j and distant objects. If be plays and sings, 6tand op like a little man and turn tbe music we doa't refer to an orguinette. He'll probably yawn and covrr op an immense gape witb bis jewelled band ; but don't take tbe bint. Playfully turn ibe gas down ; he'll probably say, 'Ob, yoa shouldn't,' oat recoitect how be doused the glim last year. oa doa t need to sav mach at this point. Conversation is apt to be a nuisance at critical junctures. Previous experience will doubtless suggest tbe course of events for tbe rest of the evening. When the old lady calls cut, "It's ten o'clock,' don't mind it ; wait tili she calls eleven and twelve; in fact, stay till yoa bear tbe milkman rat tling his can. Ark for a match to light your ci gar, linger at the door a half hoar longer, make bim think be is your owu and only aod go and see an other fellow the next evening. Tncclng Far U tn Mather-la Eatr Tbe other day over at the Alaman- da bath, a timid and retiring locking man waited until tbe superintendent wa disengaged aad said to him ; "1 do bate to give yoa any trouble, but bave yon a locg stick or pole of any kind yoo ?ould lecd me. ?'' "No, sir ; I told yoa so ten minutes ago," snapped the over driven official. "So yoa did," said tbe man, "but 1 thought I'd just ask once more. I guess I have done my duty in tbe matter. Don't yoa think so ?" . "What matter? What on earth are you talking aboot?"' "Why, yoa see my mother-in-law dived off there at the top end about a half an hour ago, and, as she hasn't come op yet, I thought I'd like to tell my wife that I jabbed aroond on tbe bottom for awhile, anyway rBatif Icaa't, why I can't, that's all." And pensively writing her address cu a tag to be lied to tbe old lady wbea ebe came up, the seoncientious man treated tbe proprietor to beer and Walked tbcaghfully away. Han Francisco Post. Yon cannot be any better tban God has made yon, but yon may be worse. ! - Baioaaiieawiaslt. A singular story of wholesale swia dlers and inconceivable credulity comes from Rome. About a year ago a young and beautiful woman, believed to be an American and cred ited with the posession of an enor mous fortune arrived in tbe Itallias capital, accompanied by ayonagoaa belonging to one of tb eldest ea Eort diadDciisbtnJ Frjinea fsmili5? and by a monkey. ?he bad no othr traveling companion. Shortly after Ler arrival she married to tbe young aristocrat, whose name the Italian papers conceal onder the title cf Signor X. The couple went cpon a wedding tour aad spent money with lavish bands. They selected tha city of Portico for their home, saying ibat tbey wished to live ia retire ment while waiting the complement of Madam's twenty-Gftb year, when she would come into possession of her fortune and would receive six millions of dollars. Every one was ready to give credit to such an heir ee. ' A Roman gentleman, in whose villa the couple lodged, loaned ibem 50,000 frances and guaranteed pay ment for IjO.000 frances' worth of jswelry which they boasrht fa Naples. lhey made debts among toe Neapol itan merchants and Makers to tbe amount of 700.000 frauces. Ia Rome tbey victimized the sliop keepers heavily for diamonds, corals, costly furs and other portable articles of high price. Nothing seamed too costly, provided tbey could get credit for it. They even had the baadlea of parasols aod umbrellas set witb costly stones. Tbey contracted to bay the Villa Mir sfiori for TOO.000 francss, bought seven carriages aa J 40 horses, ordered a private railway car and av yacht. Within a year they managed to make debts to tbe amount of half a million of dollars. Tbe date fixed for pay- meat ia all cases was tbe first of March. In February the couple went to Paris and then to London, a movement that seems to to bave ex cited no suspicion among their cred itors; bat on the first of March news came tbat they had gone to America, taking with them an immense quan tity of baggage. A few days after a banker in Rome received a letter from the husband, saying that tbe will making bis wife heiress had bee a set aside, and that they had gone to America, hoping, with peeverance and indefatigable offort to regain the position tbey had occupied in tbe world. Tba rati Mast. He was .a well-dressed, pleasant faced maa. and be carried a small black box in bis hand. He entered an insurance oEce on Congress street with a familliar air, walked ap to the sole occupant, who was writing a letter and began : ' "Excuse me, sir; bat I represent four different kinds cf psdy, viz : Lungs " "I am busy," interrupted the letter writer. "Viz. : Lang, liver, stomach aad kidney, and in a few days we" "Didn't I say that I wa3 buy ?" demanded tbe citizen as he put down bis pen. "Yon did sir, and in a few days we shall bring out tbe heart pad, tte throat-pad and the ear-pad. Excuse me if I sit down. Please let me feel your pulse." "I want none of your pad?, sir! I am busy, sir, and want my office to myself!" "Nevertheless, you want a pad, and I can prove it. A healthy pulse should not beat over eighty five per minute. I'll bet your 's goes a hun dred Anyone caa see that yoa are ailing. I can sell yon a beautiful stomach-pad at reduced rates. How much do yoa "Didn't I say I dido't want any of yonr pads, sir ?" "Correct, yoa did. Do yoa langs trouble yoa ?" "No, sir !" "Heart al! right ?" "Yea, sir I" "Hearing good ?" "Ever bave the back ache ?" "No, sir !" "Spleen all right?" "Yes, sir !" "Throat bother you ?" "No, sir ! I tell yon I don't want any of your pads 1 I want to be let alone ! I've got a headache this morn " "Eureka ! Keep still, not a word ! Yoa furnish the capital and I'll pat in my time and we'll bring out a beadaebe-pad ! Capital idea-rich thought! Go ahead and write yoar letter and I'll be- n The citizen ran for his cane in the corner, but tbe pads had walked out. to hunt for ailing humanity. Tke Vala Teowrta. It 13 not intended that some men shall marry peacefully. Bill Skittles lives in South Arkansas. For the past six mouths be has been studyiag for tbe ministry, and it occurred to Bill several days ago tbat just before instituting a revival it would be a good idea to get married. lie men tioned the subject to a young lady and a-ked ber to bare Lis ministeri al melancholy and hilarity, but the young lady said sbe bad promised to marry Zeb. Monk, the professional well cleaner of tbe neighborhood. "Oh, well." said toe minister, -I am pretty well acquainted witb Zeb and I don't believe he'd kick." The young lady finally agreed and the wedding day was fixed. Grand preparations were made. Tbe girl's brothers bad caught a coaple of 'possums aad the old lady had baked an immenaesweet potato pie. Tbe justice of the peace arrived. Tbe parties took their places. Tbe justice proceeded with the ceremony. wbea .to. Mock wa.ked in and de manded : "Let up thar, boss. Say, capn'n turn tbat gal loose." "I reekon 1 won't," replied Bill. "Well, then,'' said Zeb drawing a revolver, "I'll kinder resort to ex tremities." "See bere", remarked Bill, "are yoa in earnest aboa. tbis thing?" I reckon I am." "Do you mean hog's head nrnip greens ?" "I reckon 1 do." "Right down to corn bread a'od and cabbages ?" "I reckon it is." "Well then yen can take the It was only sweet milk and pie with me. I'm in fan. 1 bad a new pair u troopers aod didn't know what to do with 'em. Come a little closer. Is it fpar ribs and backbones?" "I reckon it is," "Then 1 know the gal's yourli,"" and, with a slight change in the license, the marriage proceeds! A dog which won't ma frcm ar elephant will break his back to get. away frcm an oyster can. Never blow down a lamp chimney to extinguish the flame, for it is quite liable to return the compliment aod blow yon op. .
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers