XT JE WrMM Dcuotcb to politics, Citcraturc, gricnltuvc, Science, illoralitn, anb cncrdl Jutclligcuec. VOL. 31. STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., OCTOBER 16, 1873. NO. 23. V of Ml- I OS ft. lie. lien 'an. J! king I urn pos f izf, and 3 f n in t - lot call I'. y cant; in C ST. city i CCH! ri"e saw Virtlisif by Theodore Schoch. m H f ' 1 ,!l4rs a ye' i" advance iind if ni f the ve ir. two dollars and fiftv in: itv: iMiiue I u.itil ll arrearages are paid, ' .III..! KV I it . . - m ! 11:111 111 llll. .. i.- t !.;; merti ;i $1 3D. EhoIi additional ill " U i ceat.. Longer ones in proportion. JOI? PKISTHG, OF ALL KINDS, ,j j:) :f. !ii?lirtiy'e f the Art, and nV'i-t ie.i'n-"'e ieriii. WILLIAM S. REES, Surveyor, Conveyancer and Real Estate Agent. Farms, Timber Lands and Town Lots FOR SALE. Oilicc next door above S. Bees' news Depot an a -1 I ,',r '".'low the Corner Srlore. March !!, 1S7:Mf. DR. J. LANTZ, Surgeon am! Mechanical Dentist, .iijil ii is hi t'Xvf mi Mori Stroft, in tlie second 5.'IVI i)r, S. V . !t : iis '.Mirk :til dli:, iiciily iio- t'f s r.i:iM''S Hnnc. a:ul Uv rt.iller"liiiiielf 1 1 ! ii.' rrj'UtT.i Wit s 4-, i.i sii.it pr.M-l jit a nit t h; innt ra iit 4M 1 cot-iill ntlriiti n t ii) in.itlers P'l.iiiiiiig U li:s :n f tliiit l:e is fully .il'lc to if.rsn il ,i M-rVi-ius in I lie dental line in I tie uio.-l i'jic'iiI, t.in!c r,l .1:1 1 iinniier. .i iitiI .iiif I'l-ni jivi-ii to avi:i2 I !io N itiua Tertli ; t- t.n- 1 i-'-rll :l .f An l!.-i;il I rt-t !i on Uuliin-r, C. i; I. m "i" ('i.i'iii'J '.is Utl.ns, hihI ju-rlert fits In ail r .!: I .: :ci- .! ill s-e.il lolly anil cl.inscr l c-n-ni''i!i3 iliclf wni k lot nc nifSju rienreil. or to llue iniiis .u .i:oif. Anl 13, 171.- ly jny;. .5. EI. MSVIA; PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. (UTi -o I t il-mr aVve Siro!:dslurg House, (J-.ior ove lwt Oflice. r ft i to 12 A. M., from ;" to 5 io r v. m. May .5-1 v. PHYSICIAN. SURGEON & ACCOUCHER. In t!;e '!! !':re of Dr. A. Iu-evcs Jackson, -IJoi.lV, coi ikt of .Sarah a;il Franklin .-trect. STROUDSBURG, PA. CiPlXATINj AND ?JlTilAMCAL DENTIST, ivin i itc.l in Ka-t Sinsi.l.sbnrir, I'a., an- i.-i;ici-s tli ;l in- U :iuw j:vj:urttl to insert arti Siu! iirili in tlje mo.i hc-a-iiifiil and life-like ifninr. AUo, "iL-iit ut'.entioii t;ive:i ti ii!Iinj J I : -rv'v.ix to-,' natural teilii. Teeth cx u !;ii.'il ji.iin y ne ;f N itro ts ( .iJe . A!l t,:!iirr work itii i-.if i.t to the profession 4 i'- in Uie mor't .-kiilf.il ai:-l apjiroveJ style. 'ii k aii.-ii'lcl to lH'oinMi v d warranteil. - ir ' re:i-oab!e. I'jtrunaicc of the imblie t.-w.. .U x- in A. V. Ix)Jer's new buihlintr. ot- te Aiiilonunk House, Last .siruiuisburg July 11, 1S7S ly. .nnoiinces ih it liavin; just rcttirnpj from D.!n! Collets, he ii fully prepureJ to make rc;al teeth in the most beautiful ami Jie Yi'a tiHtricr, and Jo fi!i dccave.1 teelh ac toiiin to tlte iiio;t i nnrcvccl mellio.1. t&'i exfruct'-d -.vithout p t in. when de- t'irii, by tlie use of Nilrou Oxide Gs, w:h in entire! r hi n:i'ii?s. Ilenairin of ikinJs 11-ii'Jv done. All work warranted. "l reasonable. See in J. ii. Keller's new Drick buill- hffl M.n.1 .S ri.f Htr.-vi:!ln;r(r. Pa. Mii i S reel, HtrjuJsbmr";, ?3i-lf i" in the buil w forsucrly opcuiiol . M. II ir- an 1 opposite tlie trtt'ls Ia?ik, Main street, .Struud-sburg, Pa. 1 if o put . ricr would inform the public that ' f lsul th. house fonuaJly kept by Jacob pi.fi lit. in tlie Coroiiirh of Strond.-bnrr. Pa.. ivin rep.ainted and refurnished the pa me, p pared to entcrlain all who mav patronize 3ii. i It is the ait!i of the proprietor, to furn iperior aecouitnodatioiis at moderate rates f' iil spare no pains to promote tlie com f f the s'ic-f. A liberal share of public f i:i'e holieitf-d- Jit; Apff 17, '7J-tf. D. L. PISLK. -1 KOXESDALE, PA. swutral location ol any Hotel in town. i r t:tit .v. - qnv R3 5ain street. Proprietors. WAry V. JST:: 1t- opposite nn: DEPOT, Kast Stroudsburjr, Pa. B. J. VAX CO'fT, Proprietor. i!n contaiiiR the choiest Liquors and lf.E MKiippI'md with the let the market i Charge tuoderate. nar 3 1872-tf. iSIotuil Vernon IEoissc, and 119 NortU Second St. ABOVE AKC2J, PHILADELPHIA. 1 fltj 1 A 1 I i 1 the f-i- p, 1N72 iy. f WARD A . V FLSON'S (ofViT. im.Uurjh, N. Y.) Recipe for CON I ION and ASTHMA carefully com J at ' UlKSHEAD'S DRUG STORE. Medicines Fresh and Pure. W, HOLLINSHEAD. iit The Man Who Keeps a Cow. The man across the way who enjoyed vegetables frcj-h froui liis own jraiden throuoli the sutnuier, lias bought a cow. Ilia wile told liiui how nice it VouM be to have a cow on the premises, t?o to hare milk fresh and pure every day, and always in time, and always in abundance. Then they could make butter themselves and not eat the rank stuff out of the store. She told hiui there was enough stuff from the garden and table to almost keep the cow, and the product would be just about so much clear :ain. lie figured it up himself with a pencil, and the result sur prised him. He woudcrcd why he had not kept a cow before, and inwardly con demned himself for the loss he had been iuflictiug upou himself. Then be bought a cow. On the evening of its arrival he went out to milk it. But the animal was excited by tlie strange surroundings, aud stepped ou our friend and kicked over his pail, and nearly knocked one of his eyes out with her tail. lie worked at the experiment for an hour, but without any success. Then his wife came out to give advice, aud his son came out to see the fun. The cow put one of her heels through the woman's dress, and knocked the boy dowu in the mud, which ended their interest in the matter. One of the neighbors milked the animal that night, and came around the next morning to show the man how to do it. The third day the cow escaped the serveillance of the boy who was left to watch her, and when lie came home at night, she was no where to be found. The boy had also disappeared, and our neighbor found he was obliged to hunt her up before supper, lie walked around for a while, arid then returned home, but the anim al had not been seen. Then he went off again and inade a very thorough search, and about 10 o'clock that night he came back with the cow, his clothes bcrimmcd with per spiration and dust, and his face flushed and scratched. lie wanted to kick the animal's ribs in, but realizing that such a course would result in pecuniary damage lie changed his mind. The b y wishes he had obeyed the first impulse. Ou the fourth day they churned, so as to have Irish butter fur the table. The mother took hold of the dasher first, because she said she ued to do it when a girl, and liked no better sport. She pounded away uutil she caught a crick in the back that doubled her up like a knife, and then she jut the heir to it. lie had been staud ing around eagerly waiting for a chance, and grumbling because he didn't get it, and when the dasher was placed iu his hand he was so happy he could hardly contain himself. lie pumped away for an hour at it ; then he said if he had to do it any more he would run away and be a robber. At noon the man came home and learned the situation. lie was a lit tic disgusted with the ''torn foolery," as be called it, and took hold of the churn himself, and made it bounce for a while. Then his stomach commenced to fall in, and his spiue to unjoiut, and his should ers to loosen. lie stopped and wiped off the perspiration, and looked around with a melancholy cast to his features, and werit at it again. The butter did not conic, however, but every thiug in the way of oratorical effect did. He got go dreadfully excited that his wife, smelling strongly of camphor, took the dasher away from him, and went to work at it herself. At this the son put his cap under his jacket, and miraculously disappeared. Later in the day the milk was poured arouud the grape vine. Ou the fifth day the cow knocked down a length of fenee to the next lot, and ate all the oranges from a tree that stood in a tub, aud when the people attempted to drive her out, she carried away a new ivy on her horns, knocked down a valuable vase of flowers, and capped the climax by stumbliuii over a box of mosses aud falling on a pile of hot-house frames. Ou the sixth day our neighbor sold his cow to a butcher, and now cats strong butter which cornea from the store. Banbury Xacs. A Gambling Story. It was some time ago that a man at one of the gambling tables in New York city, after playing a time, got up "broke." He felt in his pocket for any ttray money that might rcmaiu there, but there was none, aud he drew forth only a couh lozcogcr. lie was about putting it into his mouth when be was struck with the similarity of its appcarauce to a "split," and partly in jeet threw it upon the table. It won aud was paid by the dealer, who did not notice the deception, and with this amount he continued to play until he left the table a winner of mote than 10,000, and with this sum he established himself in business as a druggist and apothecary. Never after could he be induced to bet ou a card. The "toughest" set of "roosters" that ever shock the dust from any town, says the llena, Nevada, Journal August 20, 'left llcna, yesterday morning for the new mining district of Cornucopia. They came here from Virginia. Among the crowd were four New York gun fighters, two Chicago murderes. three Baltimore bruisers, one Philadelphia prize fighter, four Sao Francisco hoodlums, three Virginia beats, two Union Pacific roughs and two check guerrillas. Montgomery boasts of a cow from who.e milk thirteen pounds of butter is made weekly. THE FATE OP THE MODOCS. CAPT. JACK, BOSTON CHARLEY, CLACK. JIM, AND SCIIONCIIIX HANGED AT 1'OItT KLAMATH THE EXECUTION WITNESSED BY FIVE HUNDRED IN DIANS OEN. CAN BY AVENGED. Jacksonville, Oregon, Oct. 3. The correspondent of the Associated Pres left Fort Klamath this morning at 11:30 o'clock, and by hard riding arrived here late this evening with the following report of the execution of Capt. Jack and his band : Boston Charley and Black Jim were led on the scaffold first and Sehonehin next. They trod it with apparent in difference, having evidently resolved to die as bravely as they had lived. Capt. .lack weut easily up the stairway, but looked wretched aud miserable. The manacles had been 9truck off, but their arms were securely pinioned with cords At precisely U:-Io a m., the interpreters, Capt. O. C. Applcgate and David Hill, explained to the prisoners the uature of the order to be read to them, and at 10 o'clock Adjutant Kingsbury read the order promulgating the sentence of the Commission aud the President's order thereon, with the orders of the Secretary of War and the depratmeut commander in the premises. The two reprieved prisoners, Barncho and Sholuck, stood on the ground in front of the scaffold, shackled and under guard. During the reading, the pinioned victims were seated on the platform of the scaffold with their feet ou the drop, listening anxiously, but of course understanding not a word. The reading occupied ten minutes; then the Adjutant read the order and commutation in the case of Barncho and Sholuck, and the poor fellows were taken back to the stockade, evidently rejoiced at not accompanying the others to the happy hunting grounds. The chaplain then offered an earnest prayer for the soul of the culprits, which was listened to attentively. At 10:15 the fatal nooses were placed around their necks tinder direction of Capt. Iloge. It was necessary to cut off a little of Capt. Jack's long hair which was in the way of the rope. Capt; Iloge then bade farewell to the prisoners, aud the black caps were placed over the heads of all the culprits. At 10:20 they stood on the drop aud the rope was cut by the assistant at a signal made with Capt. Hoge's handkerchief. The bodies swung round and round, Jack and Jim apparently dying easily, but Boston and Sehonehin suffering terrible convulsions. Boston and Sehonehin repeatedly drew up their legs, but the two others seemed to die almost iustantly. At 10:28 tl cir pulses were felt by Capt. Hoge, and as this is being written they are swinging lifeless in the air. As the drop I e 1 1 with a terrible "thud," a half smothered cry of horror went up from the crowd of over 500 Klamath Indians who witnessed the awful spectacle. Wails of bitter anguish also arose from the stockade where the wives aud children of the poor fellows had a view of the shocking scene. The coffins, six in num ber, had been placed diretly in the rear of the gallows, two of them destined to be uuoccupied, as the order commuting the sentences of Barncho and Sholuck only arrived at 10:30 last evening, and preparations had been made for their execution with the others. An applica tiou - was made this morning to Gen. Wheaton by the Sheriff of Jackson Coun ty, Oregon, for the custody of the Indians iudictcd by the (Jrand Jury, but it was refused. How Young Men Fall. "There is Alfred Sutton home with his family to live on the old folks," said one neighbor to another. "It seems hard, after all his father has done to fit him for business, aud the capital he invested to start him so fairly. It is surprising he has turned out so poorly. He is a steady young man, no bad habits, as. far as I know ; he has a good education, and was always considered smart ; but he doesn't succeed in anything. I am told he has tried a number of different kinds of busi ness, and sunk money every time. What can be the trouble with Alfred?.-I should like to know, for I don't waut my boy to take his turn." "Alfred is smart enough," said the other, "and has education enough, but he lacks the one element of success. He never wants to give a dollar's worth of woik for a dollar of money, and there is no other way for a young man to make his fortune. He must dig if he would get gold. All the men that havo succeed ed, honestly or dishonestly, in making moucy, have bad to work for it, the sharp ers sometimes the hardest of all. Alfred wishes to get his train in motion, und let it take care of itself. No wonder ii soon ran off the track, and a smash up was the result. Teach your boy. friend Archer, to work with a will when ho does work. (Jivo him play enough to make him healthy and happy, but let him learn that work is the business of life Patient, selfdcnying work is the price of success. Kase aud indolence cat away not capital ouly, but worso still, all of mao'a nerve power. Present gratification tendu to put off duty until to morrow or next week. It is getting to be a rare thing for . the sons of rich men to die rich. Too ofteD they squander io a half secure of. years what their fathers were a life time iu ac cumulating. I wish I could ring it in the ears . of every aspiring jouog man that work, hard work, of head aud hands, is the price of euccesa." A STRANGE STORY. A Dutiful Son-Sad Meeting of an Innocent but Convicted Man aud His . Mother in the Auburn, N. Y., State Prison. From the Philadelphia Sunday Dawn. A lady who was some years ago left a widow with a small family of children, after much tribulation succeeded in briu: o ing up to manhood one son, who proved himself able and willing to be a support not ouly to her, but to his younger broth ers and sisters. About a year after becoming of sige he was offered a lucrative position iu the West, and he emigrated thither, and settling there permanently, soon married New ties, however, did not absorb old affections, and as he prospered io his business, he sent regularly to his mother the means necessary for her support and that of her family. The years passed on and brought many changes, but still regularly as the quarter came, so also did the ample remittance of this model son and brother When the tide of emigration turned to the far West, this son was carried with it to Omaha where he invested his earnings iu towu lots which speedily arose in value and made him a man of wealth. At least this was the intelligence he sent his mother. Lately whilst visiting Auburn, his parent was invited to make the tour of the State Prison, and whilst passing through the various words she accidental Iy encountered one whose presence caused her cheeks to pale and her heart to temporarily stop its beating. It was her son, her good and well beloved boy who for years had been her pride and support; for a moment she was speechless, but at length bursting into a torrent of tears in which the prisoner joined, she said : O, my son, my sou, how came you here? His story being told developed the fact that he hud by trading with straugers come iuto possession of a large quantity of counterfeit money, and that in ignorance of its character, he being on a visit' to New York, had at tempted to pass it, had been arrested as a chief of a gan? of cunterfeiters, and having been identified as having endeavor ed to circulate it, was, iu spite of all evidence of previous good conduct offered, convicted and sentenced to serve cut a term in the State prison. His wife, with whom he was in constant correspondence, had aided him in kpeping his incarcera tion a secret from his mother, and had regularly remitted the quarterly allowance, together with letters forwarded flora the prison by him. But for this unfortunate visit the mother would have remained forever unaware that her son was serving out a penal sentence for a crime never committed by him ; she learned however that by the rise of corner lots iu Omaha he had been made a wealthy mau, and when he should come out of prison, which would be iu a few mouths, he, through the skilful stewardship of his wife, would find awaiting him the sum of not less than two hundred thousand dollars in United States bonds. Such are the vicissitudes of life. A good story is told by a friend of Daniel Drew, which the news of his illness calls up. Remaining one evening late in the office, and having occasion to use the safe, he permitted the cashier to go home, remarking that he would close the safe and fix the combination on the word -Moor." But when the cashier undertook to open the safe in the morn ing he found the lock refused to yield to the magic "door " He tried and tried again, but without success. Finally, happening to remember that Daniel's early education had been neglected, he attributed his ill luck to poor orthography. He therefore tried the lock upon "dorc." Still no success, and then upon "doar," with no better fortune. Finally, becom ing disgusted, he proceeded to the St. Nicholas, routed "Dan'l" out of his choicest morning nap, and as he stuck his nightcap out of the door this colloquy ensued : "Mr. Drew, I can't open the safe on 'door.' You must have concluded to change the word." "Change the word ! Nothin o the kind. I shut it on door." "Are you sure, sir ?" "Sure, sir, you tar nal ape ; of course I'm sure! (Jo back to your work, and don't come foolin' roun here this time o' the niornin" "Well, perhaps, Mr. Drew, I don't spell the word right. How did you spell it?" "Spell it! Any fool cau spell door. 1) o a r c, doare, of course, sir." "If you can't spell door, sir, you're no cashier for me. Pack up your duds and go out of the 'door.' " Aud shutting tho "door" in the cashier's face, Daniel returned to. hi bed in a passion, and the clerk to his safe. Aimed with the opcu sesame of "doare," however, the safe flew opeu without further trouble and when Dauiel arrived, mollified by a good breakfast aud his morning prayer, he advised his cashier that he might keep his place provided he would improve his time "go tu spcllin' skool iu the eveniu." A Michigan butcher takes the bones out of his meat before selling it now. He had a dream the other ninht. in which ho found himself at the celestial gate, but confronted by a mouutain of bones, which an atteudant spirit said were what he had sold to customers, and he must climb over them if he would enter heaven. : The expense of running th Philadel phia postoffica during September was $16,732 88. bbbbm aaiii minim, A BALLOON VOYAGE. DONALDSON STARTS FOR EUROPE AND LANDS IN NEW CANAAN, CONN. The problem of making a balloon voy age to Kurope was believed by many per sons yesterday to be in process of solution where they learned that the aerial car which floated over the city about D 30 a m. was the Graphic Balloon, though much reduced in size. The late failure at the Capitoline Grounds, made people, to some extent, suspicious of the real intention of those concerned in the enterprise. It was then gratifying to learn that Donald son and his companions had undertaken the trip though without the company of of Prof. Wise, for whom the balloon had first been ostensibly prepared. At twen ty minutes past ten the Signal Service officer at the Equitable building on Broad way was able to get a last glimpse of the balloon, and long before that time it had disappeared from the view of the many who watched its progress from street, bal cony, housetop, and church steeple. The process of inflating the ballon, on Saturday, and its conditiou up to Sunday, aud its condition up to Sunday night have been already detailed. The inflation was re sutned, yesterday morning, and was com pleted about I). Fifteen minutes later the sand bags, weighing in the aggregate about 3, GOO, and the boat being attached, the balloon was declared to be ready for its voyage. Messrs. Donaldson, Lunt, aud Ford took their places, the rope hold ing the balloon was cut with an ax, aud the balloon shot iuto the air. The specta tors on the grouud cheered as the balloon ascended, and Mr Donaldson was seen to wave an acknowledgment with his hat. The balloon proceeded in a northerly direction uutil it reached an apparent altitude of 5,000 feet. It then deflect ed eastward, and when last seen from the Capitoline Grounds, its course was, as nearly as could be judged, north cast by east. As it passed over New-York the movements ol the people in the boat were plainly visible. Late in the afternoon intelligence was received from New-Canaan, Conn., that the bal loon had met with a misfortune. The dispatches state that in the .midst of a terrible storm of rain the balloouists tried to effect a descent. They thought it ne ccssary to leap out as they came near the earth. Donalson and Ford did so, from a bight of 30 feet, but Lunt, who hestita ted, was carried off clinging to the au-chor-ropes. Donaldson aud Ford fell on the farm of Charles Davis, near New Canaan, Conn., at 1:15 o'clock. Beiug driven to the town, they found Mr. Luut there before them, safe It appears that after Donaldson aud Ford jumped out the balloon bounded up the side of a mountain, and dropped among the bran ches of a tree, and thence to the earth. The storm, which was raging violently at the time, carried the ballon up the moun tain, but it was subsequently lound a mile away from Canaau. Fighting for an Inch and a Half of Land. The highest price ever paid for real estate was not either in London or New York, but in Bowlder, Colorado, where town lots are worth about fifteen ccuts a front foot. Two adjoining proprietors have gone to law about one and a half inches on the dividing line. The case has been in progress only two years, and wheu last tried occupied the time of one judge, four lawyers, one high sheriff, oue crier, forty-six witnesses, three coustables and twelve jurymen for six days. This was the first trial, and the cost therefor amounted to 1,512 05, and how mauy more trials there may be cau't be foretold, for the jury didu't agree. JuJge Walker, of Schuylkill, has delivered an opinion in a case of some interest, for the simple reason that it involves a question where one man has been appointed to too many offices. It appears that John Median was elected director of schools in Riley township, Schuylkill county, this State, and was elected treasurer of the school board and collector of school tax Ho was also deputized as collector of road taxes. An act of Assembly provides that no person shall hold more than one township oflice at the same time, and a petition was presented to Judge Walker praying that Median be ousted. In accordance with Judge Walker's opinion, Median was ousted from all the offices except the office of collector of school tax, and as such officer was duly qualified. A man who is undoubtedly insane on the subject of religion, entered one of the Detroit telegraph oflifcs the other day and wrote the following message: "To the Lord in Heaven When shall I go next ? The woill is growing worse every day. Thei is ,lot au l"?st Christian in Aiueiii; " He was informed that the Western Union lines didu't connect with the other world, and he went to see about mailing letter. - A singular phenomenon was witnessed in the fky at St. Loui the other even ing. Tho celestial apparition was seen toward the Southwest, looming forth iu the shape of a large fish, with mouth open aud fins spread, as if swimming in a deu ser medium. . A stone which "benda and stretches like India rubber" is one of the curiositira Vorih Carolina newspaper office. It is said to reBcmble a lawyer's conscience ! One of Beau Hickman's Tricks. Beau once made a raid on the Balti more restaurants. He determined to dine well that day, or know the reason why. He walked into Guy's restaurant and ask ed for the proprietor. "Sir," said he, "I want the best din ner you can give me." "All right, sir," said Mr. Guy ; "walk in here," showing him iuto a neat little private room. The Beau ate and drank of the best, and, just after he had fiuished his cup of cafe noir, and had lit his cabanas a ser vant entered with a folded paper on a sil ver Tuiter, which he gravely handed to the Beau. ''What is this ?" inquired the Beau. uDe bill, sah," said the waiter. "Bill ; I don't want any bill. Ask the proprietor to come here." The proprietor appeared, bowing and smiling; he hoped there was nothing wrong, and that his guest had liked hi dinner. "I liked the dinner well enough, and the wine," said Beau Hickman, "but I want to know what this means." "That's the bill," said the proprietor. "Well' I nevtr pay any bills. I am Beau Hickman. I don't pay anybody. Besides, you have do right to charge me for this dinner. I asked you for the best dinner you could giveme." "Well, Beau, you have rung in on me and get the better of me fairly. Now I'll not only forgive you for this trick, but I'll give you 25 if you will play this trick on the St. Clair, on the other side of the way." The next day the Beau fared sump tuously at the St Clair, and the scene was re-enacted. The bill was presented, and the proprietor wound up with, "Beau, I'll give you 50 if you will play this off ou Guy " "My dear, sir,'" said the Beau, "why didn't I call here first. Guy has paid me 25 to play it on you. Eli Perkins on Law. "Eli Perkins" after studying New York law for some time, is dow to commence practice. He says : "These are the decisions on which I am to pass my future practice and I'vegot them pinned up over my desk. I know them by heart. rtRKIN's DIGEST OF XEW YORK PRECEDENTS. Real Cases. A fellow on Thirdj Auother fellow avenue borrowed ajknocked a man's setof false teeth from real teeth down his the show case of a throat, and Barnard dentist, and he was:let him off with re sent to Sing Sing for primand ? four years. rossillc Cases. Making off withal Tearing out a man's man's glass eye two years in Sing Sing. Stealing a man's real eye a Sue of Breaking a man's crutch two years iu'leg a Cdc of 10. the Penitentiary. I Generally. I conclude Damage to a man's property the Peni I couclude Damage to or a destruction of tentiary and severcstiman'slife acquittal penalty which thejor a recommendation law admits. i to mercy. Now I am ready to practice. I prefer murder or manslaughter cases as they are the simplest. If you want to shoot a man come aud see me ; and I'll make a bargain with the judge and jury, and get you bail beforehand. DID ANY GET AWAY ? The Indianapolis Sentinel tells a rich joke of a railroad conductor who resides in that city. In his absence his wife pre sented him with a fine boy. Some of his wife's friends, who are of a waggish turn of miud, suggested that they borrow two other babies iu, the neighborhood, and present the three youngsters to the hap py father ou his return. The plan was carried out, and, upon the arrival of the train in the evening, the young husband, who had heard that all was well, hurried home; after fondly kissing his wife, he asked to see the lit tle stranger. Imagine his surprise on beholding three badies when the coverlet was turned down. After gazing at them in profound as tonishment for several minutes, he turned to h:s wife, aud cooly asked, "Did any get away ?" There is no better counsel to give busi ness men than to advise them to keep cool, and, remembering Harry Wadsworth's mottoes, to look up, aud not down ; look forward, and not back ; look out, and not io, and to lend a help iux hand. The spiritualibts have finally fairly launched themselves on the sea of politics, and there is offered a chance for the Democracy which no one anticipated. If it is possible to raise the dead the spiritualists can do it. The "youth of great expectations" left town accorapauied by the "man of desti ny." The "girl of the period'' does their cooking. It is said they hud an iuterest iu the "Wise balloom." The value of Milwaukee hna increased S2,000,000 during the past year, while the increase of busiucss dune was 12,- 000,010. I
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers