SPuOrE.NDYKE. The Difficulties of a Witness, " Tou must get around pretty carlv in the morning, my denr," said Mr. Spoopendyke, " I'm going to be a Witness in court." Good gracious I" ejaculated Mrs. Spoopcndyke, "what have you been doing r " What d'ye fe'pose I've been doing? I've heard some tinners in n law case. and I've got to swear to them. You can't have a law case without witnesses, and I've got to be one to-morrow ; so you hustle out in the morning and get my breakfast." " They can't do anything to you, can they ? " inquired Mrs. " Spoopendyke, nervously. "If I ain't there in time they can send me to jail," responded Mr. Spoop endyke, ominously, " and you'd better get me ready in time if you' don't want to lose me," and Mr. Spoopendyke flop ped into bed and went 10 sleep.' Mrs. Spoopcndyke turned the clock ahead two hours, arranged her hair, and sat down to speculate on the chances of waking up at the proper moment. At first she concluded to stay up all night, but she began to get sleepy, and reflect ing that if she fixed her mind on the hour she wanted to rise she'd be sure to wake up, she went to bed and to sleep simultaneously. At half-past four she roused up with a terrible start. " Wake up, my dear ! " she exclaimed to her husband. "You've got to go a-witnessing iu a case this morning. Hurry up or they'll put you in jail." " Wah 1 " rejoineit Mr. Spoopendvke. " What did the deed get mixed there with proof ah ! " and Mr. Spoortcndykc was sound asleep again. "You must get right up and go to court," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, firmly. " You know something about a law court, and you must get up right oil." "What's the matter?" propounded Mr. Spoopendyke, sitiiug up and glaring around him. " What dav of the month is this ? Who called Spoopcndyke? I ain't slept a wink!" and Mr. Spoopen dyke fell back on his pillow. " You know you mu u f o to the case," continued Mrs. Spoopendyke, "you've been appointed a witness and you must go and swear about it. Walte up or they'll arrest you." " What case ?" demanded Mr. Spoop endyke. " Who's arrested ? Can't you let a man alone just as he is getting in a doze? What's the matter with you, anyway ?" " You wanted to get up early about that court. Come, get up now, or they'll send you to jail," and Mrs. Spoopendyke got up and lighted the gas, and began dropping on her skirts. " Who's going to court ?" asked Mr. Spoopendyke, sitting up in bed. " Where is the court ? 'I Link any court wants me at five o'clock in the morn ing?" "It's about a law case," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, cheerful y. "You know you are a witness. Xo think that I should live to be the wife of a witness !" and Mrs. Spoopendyke, tij mly impressed that it was something i i the nature of a foreign mission, gazed admiringly upon her husband. " Dod gast the law case !" howled Mr. Spoopendyke, now thoroughly mad. " D'ye think a law case goes prowling around all night like a policeman ? Got an idea that a judge is going to strap the court-house on his back and fetch it up at daylight to try a law case ?" " But you said yon wanted to get up early," reasoned Mrs. Spoopendyke, " and it's pretty early now." " D'ye suppose I wanted to cot up at midnight to practice ?'' propounded Mr. Spoopendyke. " Think a law case is like a church sociable, the first man gets the best supper ? P'raps you were afraid if I didn't start early i' wouldn't get a seat. The measly court don't meet till ten o'clock, dod gast it ! and here you wake me up at tour ! What d'ye suppose a witness is, anyhow V" shouted Mr. Spoopendyke, getting madder. "Think he's a durk lantern, and goes around wkh his slide turned and the smoke coming o.it of the top ? D'ye knowe what a court is ?" " Why, yes," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, " a court is where thev hang people. Mrs. Mierhof " " That's it ! You struck it first clip !" sputtered Mr. Spoopendyke. " With that information, all you want is a plug hat and an adjournment to be a lawyer. If I had your intelligence and a bald head I'd hire out for a judge at board wages. I tell ye a court is where they try cases about lands, and licking peo ple, and contracts, and and -divorce cases. Yes, indeed, they try divorce cases about women waking their hus bands up in the dead of night." " What kind of a law are you going to witness ?" " A daylight case ! You understand that? At ten o'clock, and not five. Got that through your head? Think you can remember ten o'clock ? If you can't, can you remember eleven,' 01 noon ?" "Do they have cases every hour?" queried Mrs. Soopendyke. " Of course they do. They leave every fifteen minutes, like a ferryboat, and if I can't catch one case I'll witness in another. Got it now ? Only they don't rtfn as often from midnight to six. Begin to see into it ?" " I think I do," said Mrs. Spoopen dyke, ruminating. " I was thinkincr that if o le started about three o'clock I'd go and witness with you 1" " Oh I you'd make a witness !" pro claimed Mr. Spoopendyke. " With your capacity for obseivation and ability to recollect, you'd only want to appear twice to absorb the whole witness busi nec8," and with this reflection Mr. Lpoopeiidyke went back to his slum bers. At ten o'clock sharp his wife called him and notified him of the hour. " How'm I goinj to get there in time ? WThy didn't you call me before ? Want me sent to State .prison for con tempt ? Want to get rid of me, don't you ?" and Mr. Spoopendyke darted into Lis clothes. " Don't you want some breakfast, my dear ?" inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke, ten derly. " No, I don't want any measly break fast !" he shouted. " Didn't I tell ye I was a witness at ten, and now its half past ? Think a man is appointed a wit ness during good behavior? S'pose I hold the ollce till my successor is ap pointed ?" and Mr.Spoonendyke plunged downsciirs and out of the house. " I only did what he told me," sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke, wetting a piece of court-plaster and patching up a hole in her silk dress. " Though I don't see any use of a man being a witness, if he can't be a witness when he wants to. If I were a man," she continued, as she flopped down on the floor to change her boots, I'd get appointed by the Piesi dent, and then 1 could attend to busi ness or nol, as I liked." With w hic h eage reflection Mrs, Ppoopendyke pull ed out her husband's socks and began to sew wens three inches in diamoter on tho heels. Brooklyn Eagle. Esquimaux Women. Among Esquimaux women, punish ment for wrong-doing, says a recent writer, is almost unheard of, and as for striking a male child, all would recoil from such-a thought with horror. The male child, and especially the heir, is a prince in his own family circle. Every thing is deferred to his wishes, unless he can be persuaded to surrender it. With female children it is different. They must submit to every act of tyranny on the part of their brothers at once, or' feel the weight of a pareiTt's hand. Nothing would, seem more ab horrent to on Esquimaux mind than the thought of striking, a-man or boy, but to strike a woman , or girl is, cm the contrary, quite proper, and indeed laud able. They say it is a proper thing to whip women; " it makes them good." I have often talked with them about it, and tried to explain that it was regarded by white people as cowardly to strike a defenseless creature, but this was utter ly beyond their comprehension. They could understand that it would be wrong to strike a male, but a female that was an entirely different thing. The Esquimaux are polyga.nists, no distinction whatever being placed upon the number of wives a man shall ha-e. I have never, however, known of any instance of one having more than two at a time. This is very common, however, especially among the Iwilliks and Kiu nepatoos, where there is a surplus of women. At least half of their married men have two wives. Every woman is married as sofin as she arrives at a mar riageable age, and whenever a man dies his wile is taken by some one else, so that with them old maids and widows are unknown. Instances of polygamy are not so common among the Xetchil lik nation for the reason, it is said that thev have a custom that prevents the ac cumulation of women. Their neighbors sav that they kill their female babes as soon as born. The first is usually al lowed to live, and one other may stand some chance, but that ends the matter Equecsik, one of our hunters on the sledge journey, who is himself a Net chillik, denies this charge of female Herodism. He told me that it nsed to be the custom with his people, or some of them at any rate, but that they do not do so any more. I know that he has two daughters, one of whom was born within a few days' march of Depot island, on our return trip, and has no son. Indian Epicures. In the summer of 1875 I stood one evening near the quartermaster's oflice at Fort Wingate, New Mexico, when two Kiowa Indians applied for permis sion to water their famished horses at the government cistern, ofi'eriug to ac cept that boon in part payment of a loud of brushwood which they proposed tn haul from the neighboring cliapparal. The fellows looked thirsty and hungry themselves, ami while tiie quartermaster I ratified the wood-bargain, one of the ! officers sent to his company quarters for ! a lunch of such comestibles as the cooks might have on hand at that . time of the day. A tntyfnl of " govern -. inent grub " was deposited on the ad : jacent cord-wood platform, and the Indians pitched in with the peculiar ap ! petite of carnivorous nomads. A yard of commissary sausage was accepted as a tough variety of jerked beef ; yeasted and binnless bread disappeared in : quantities that would have confirmed I Dr. Graham's belief iu natural deprav ; ity ; they sipped the cold coffee and : eyed it with a gleam of suspicion, but ' were reconciled by the discovery of ' the saccharine sediment, and tho'cook was just going to replenish their cups i when the senior Kiowa helped himself to a viuegar pickle, which he probably mistook for some sort of an oil-color ' sugnr-plum. He tasted it, rose to his j feet and dashed the plate down with a j muttered execration, and then clutched ; the prop of the platform to master his i rising fury. Explanations followed, and ' a pound of brown sugar was accepted as a piece-oliermg, hut tue children ot na ture left the postollice under the impres sion that they had been the victims of a heartless practical joke. Popular .SW ence Monthly. Poetical I'roverljs. Many of Robert Burns' complete, aud even single lines, have become pro verbs: "Tlierank is lmt the guinea's stamp, Tlio mini 'a tlii' yulj lor a 'that.3' Here from "Tarn O'Sl. inter" is an other : " I'k asures are like poppies spread, Yuu seize the llowcr ; its bloom is shed." From his " Address to Unco Guid " we may take : " What 'b done we partly may compute, Hut liiww not what ' resisted." In one stanza on Captain Gvo;e we meet two proverbs now in use : " If there ' a hole in a' your eoata X rede ye tent it; A ehiel's nniaiif.' ye, ta'iiu' notes, And l'uitli he'll pivnt it." In "The Vision" is also a splendid passage of this sort : "Mi-d-'d l.v futifv'H meteor-ray, By passions driven ; lint yet the light that led astray Was light lVom heaven." Alexander Pope pithily wrote : "True wit is uature to advantage dressed- That oft was thought but ne'er ho well ex pressed." In his "Essay cm Criticism :" "To err is human ; to forgive divine." Cowper wrote : "A fool chance." must now and then be right, by A Cunning Cat. A gentleman who took a trip from Carson City, Nev., into tho country, when on the plains, a mile from any house, noticed a cat, a huge one, almost as large as a fair-sized dog. It was lying upon the ground, its feet upper most, in such a way that he had no doubt that it had fallen a victim to some vicious dog. Around it, feeding unsuspectingly, was a flock of young biids. The apparent lifeless cat was within range cf the vision of tho ob server for some time, and just when ho was thinking how much easier it would be for an animal to feign death and catch a bird by deceiving it than by slipping up to it, he was astonished to see the cat suddenly roll over and grab one of the feathered tribe that was very near. The other birds flew away a hun dred yards or so and alighted. The cat only made one or two mouthfuls of the game, and then crept around to the windward of the birds, laid itself out a train, and once more played success- fully the dead dodge. The gentleman drove away without seeing how many puds it too to Bauuy tue .euae. Music rroducod by Flame. Considerable interest has been aroused in German musical circles by Friedrich Kastner's pyrophon, now be ing exhibited in a large room adjoining the Conversations-Saal, of Baden-Baden. The instrument resembles an organ in construction and appearance, as far as its keyboard and pipes are concerned, but the latter are made of glass instead of metal or wood, and the tones they give forth, in obedience to the pressure 'of the player's fingers on the . keys are produced by the action.of flame upon their atmos pheric contents. . Jets of lighted gas, divided into a certain number o'f small flames, are forced into these glass cylin ders, the length and diameter of which are regulated in accordance with the depth or height of tho note desired to bo produced, and the result is a regular and perfect series of sustained musical sounds, peculiar in quality, but bearing some aflihity to those elicited from an ordinary blast organ under the influence of the 'sectional or Gamba stop. The pyrophon at present on view at Baden-Baden has a compass of only two octaves and a half, and consider able force is requisite to manipulate the keyboard, owing to the weight of the gas pipes set in motion by each pressure necessary to tho production of a note. Some of its glass pipes are eight feet long, and the maximum length of the sound-generating flame admitted to them is sixteen inches. The effect of a performance upon this curious instru ment, which fills the room in which it is set up with light as well as sound of a strange and unearthly character, is described in German musical journals as extremely impressive. Musical World. True Beauty. The S'intlay-Sclinvl Times says : One of the lessons we cannot fully learn, save by experience, is that no beauty of face or grace can be half so fair as the beauty which wo may see iu a careworn cheek or a wrinkled brow. Such a statement as this is as old as humanity, but its truth, after all, never really takes possession of the mind until it has been implanted there by experience itself. When we ourselves have come to note, in the countenance of some one we hold dear, marks of sufferrig and patience and helpfuluess and inward vic tory marks which have grown deeper, perhaps, for our own sake then we see in them a beauty beside which the face of a Venus of Milo or a Mrrillo's Virgin seems deformity itself. One of our American poets has written a touch ing lyric on "The Bonnie Brown Hand," in which ho celebrates the beauty of a hand worn with loving toil as fairer far than any other could possi bly be to him. When this sense really conies to us, of the beautiful and the true in that which is no longer fresh and unwrinkled, but is marked with the glory-badge of trial and triumph, then we may know that our own lives have become the richer, because we are at length able to apprehend that beauty which time can but increase year by rear. ('mind's Hair. For some five or six j ears past, says the St. Louis Republican, small quanti ties of camel's hair have been shipped to this country to seek a market, and it has been utilized in several ways, but not to such an eitent as has been usu ally imagined. Camel's hair consists of several grades or qualities, from the wool that lays close to the animal's hide to the long, shaggy hair which covers portions of the body. All this hair or wool is sheared from the animal the same cswool is from sheep, and packed i in bales lor transportation. Heretofore all this material has come from Western Asia, Arabia aud Persia, from whence it was sent westward through Russia to the Baltic ports, and there shipped mostly to Liverpool and London, fiom whence it found its way to all parts ot the world. Tho fiber, though long, is coarse aud strong, and makes dress goods for winter wear of a somewhat rough and shaggy appearance. It is only woven into cloth, however, with a wool body, as its texture would not ad mit of its being used nlone. The coarser hair and the wool which accompanies it are uso.l in the manufacture of carpets, and are found well adapted f -r that purpose. Though popular to a certain extent, the use of camel's hair in the United States has been quite limited; but an effort U now making to import it in larger qua titics, and to find new uses for it. The importations hereto fore through Kussia have been expen sive, but lecent.y large quantities have been obtained from China, and recently the first invoice, consisting of one ton, started from St. Louis oveiland. Occa sionally small lots have arrived from China in sailing vessels around Cape Horn; but the trade in ti is way has been so insignificant that no notice has been taken of it, and the chief supply has, up to the present, been had by way of Europe. Now, however, it is found that the direct trade with China is profitable, and every port w ill be ma le to foster it. Since tho first of the year the arrivals of camel's hair from all sources have been much larger than ever before, and as tho thread i thought well of, some new uses will be found for it. The Mofkiii!r Loom. A pretty story tells us of the inven tion of the stocking loom. W. Lee was a gay young student at Oxford, who. saw among the Greek letters of his "Iliad" only the bright eyes of the innkeeper's daughter, and heard iu the professor's tones but the click of her swift knitting needles. In despair he threw away his books, hurried to his mistress and with her to the parson's. When the Oxford dons heard of tho proceeding at tho rectory, they decided in grave counsel that this crime of marriage must be made an ex amplo of, and accordingly the young man was expelled. Dis graced and dishonored, lie and Peggy were cast out into the world with only four knitting needles to look to for bread. But Peggy went merrily to work, her eyes growing brighter, her fingers plying faster, while her enamored hus band sat before her in helpless in efficiency, wptching the gleaming needles as if entranced. "Eureka!" he exclaimed one clay. " Who ?" Peggy looked up anxiously. She had never been even to a grammar school. " I can do it, Peggy, better than you," he answered with a manly sense of his superiority. Ho got some wires and went to work, while Peggy watched, and soon her shining needles gave way to the stocking-loom, which revolutionized the whole indus try. Iu very little time Peggy became a bright-eyed lady, William, a distin guibhed inventor, while the hard-hearted Oxford dons nobody knows anything about; but they doubtless shrank up into Greek particles or algebraic signs. At any rate, it was a clear case of poetic justice, at which Hymen should light an extra toroh, . OUT OP THE WHITE HOUSE. How Some of the Presidents He Retired Features of" Inansaratlon Day " Seldom Seen or Heard. Before the building of the southern front of the treasury department, which rendered a change of the inclosure of the White House necessary there was an entrance facing Pennsylvania avenue a stone archway, with a large weeping willow growing on each side of it. Mrs. Madison, who was a very bright woman, when congratulated on lier hus band's inauguration and occupation of the White House, said: " I don't know that there is much cause for congratu lation the President of the United States generally comes in at the iron gate and goes out at the weeping wil lows." John Adams, who was the first Presi dent that occupied the White House, was crushed with shame and filled with indignation when his old friend, Thomas Jefferson, defeated him iu the presidential election of 1800. He took what vengeance he could by continuing to make appointments up to a late hour on the evening of March 3, and the next morning before sunrise lie left the White House and the metropolis forever. Washington had attended at his inaugu ration four years previously, but he could not bear to witness the swearing in of his successor. Retiring to his farm at Quincy he devoted the remain ing twenty-five years of his life to political correspondence. Jefferson, Madison and Monroe in tnrn attended the inauguration of their successors and decorouslv vacated the White House for their occupation with the best of feeling. But when General Jackson was elected there was a differ ent condition of things. President John Quincy Adams was bitterly disap pointed because he had not been re elected, while his successful competitor was incensed by some abusive articles which had appeared in tho official " organ." When General Jackson came to Washington, saddened by the sud den death of her whom he loved so de votedly, he refused point blank to call on Mr. Adams, regarding him as her traducer. Mr. Adams was equally unwilling to participate in the triumphant inauguration of his suc cessor, and he removed from the White House on the third of March. On the fourth, as he was taking his customary horseback ride iu the vicinity of Wash iugton, the booming of cannon announc ed to him that his successor had taken the oath of oflice in front of the capitol. The then ex-President remained in his own house on F street (nearly opposite the Ebbitt house of to-day) until spring, and he received many acts of courtesy from the citizens of Washington, includ ing a salute from a volunteer military company commanded by Colonel feea ton, one of the editors of the Sut tonal Intelligencer. It may not be amiss to say a word or two about the inauguration' of General Jackson, when, for the first time, the President -elect was escorted by military bodies as he rode on a spirited horse from the hotel at which he had lodged to the capitol. After he had taken the oath and gone from the capitol to the White House he was waited upon by a motley crowd, which soon drained the barrels of punch which had been pre pared, broke tho glasses aud behaved like a drunken mob. Such a scene hail never before been witnessed at the White House. When Martin Van Bureu was elected as General Jackson's successor it was a j political family arrangement. The two went together from the White House to j the capitol iu a phaeton made from the ! wood of the frigate Constitution, drawn ; by four gray horses. After Mr. Van i liuren had been inaugurated in front of ! the capitol tho two returned in the same vehicle to tho White House, where the new President received his fellow citizens. At four o'clock iu t ho after noon Mr. Van Buren formally received tho foreign ministers, who, with their suites, wore the full court dresses of their respective countries, and he rather astonished their dean, the Spanish min ister, bv addressing thein as "thoDem- ! j ocratic Corps" instead of the "Diplo matic Corps. lour days afterward General Jackson bado farewell to the White House and returned to his be loved " Hermitage" to end his days. As tho expiration of President Van Bureu's official term approached tho al dermen and common council of Wash ington City followed the custom and passed a vote of thanks to the outgoing chief magistrate for the interest which he had taken in the prosperity of tho national metropolis during his four years administration. These thanks were not acceptable to Mayor Seatou, who, with other whigs, had been excluded from the hospitalities of the executive mansion by President Van Buren. So tho editor-mayor formally refused to approve the complimentary resolutions, and transmitted a veto message to the city government giving his reasons for this marked slight. Mr. Van Bureu was greatly annoyed, aud took good care to have the White House ready for the occupation of his succes sor, General Harrison, whose stay there was brief. Mr. Tyler's family were soon sum moned from Virginia to tho White House, and while he was President he married the estimable lady who now re sides here, who turned over the White House to Mm. James K. Polk, uow a resident of Nashville, Tenn. She was succeeded by Mrs. Zachary Taylor, a matronly old lady, who loved to remain in her room upstairs and smoke a corn cob pipe, while her accomplished daughter, then the wife of Colonel Bliss, tho President's private secretary, pre sided over the hospitalities of the man sion. Tho Taylors left shortly after the death of " Old Bough and Beady," and Mrs. Fillmore came, aided by her daughter. They extended the hospital ities of the White House to General Pierce when he came (heart-broken over tho loss of his only child Jby a r llroad accident) to be inaugurated. Mrs. Fillmore left the White House on the fourth of March for a hotel, expect ing to go South on a tour with her husband, but she took cold and died a few weeks afterward. Mrs. Pierce's life at the White House was saddened by the loss of her darling son and clouded by a dread that her husband might become intemperate in his habits. These fears, fortunately, were never realized, and General Pierce was probably more popular at Washing ton than any other occupant of the White House has been. Hospitable and generous in his disposition and cordial in his manners, he was beloved by all w ho knew him. Correspondents of whig newspapers were among the guests cordially welcomed at the White House, and the departure of the Pieroes from Washington was regretted by friends and foes. They went on the fourth of March to the residence of GcnoraJ Caes, since transformed into the Arlington hotel, whero many thou sands called to pay their parting respects. wiiile General Pierce was the most popular of Presidents, Miss Lane, the niece of his successor, Mr. Buchanan, eclipsed all other ladies who have pre sided over the White House-in courtesy, in hospitality, and in her reception of all, whether they were her uncle's po litical supporters or opponents. The exodus of Mrs. Lincoln, of the daughter of President Johnson, and of Mrs. Grant, as each one successively left the White House, is well known to every Washington reader. Ben Perley Poore, in Washington Republic. A Sevcuty-Flre Dollar Goat. One of them was a stockman from Western Texas named Bob Gazely, and the other was an old Galvestonian named Colonel William Griswold. They were talking about stock-rais-intr. The man from Western Texas said, impressively : " i tell you what, colonel, there is more money in goats than in any other critter that eats Texas grass. People will keep on raising fine horses aud cattle, and lose money by it, while there is more money in one goat than you can shake a stick at," and he went on to tell of the rapid increase, the price of goat-skin, etc. "You are right," replied Griswold. " I am a goat man myself. I've got a goat in my yard right now I wouldn't part with for seventy-five dollars." " He must be a fine animal. He is half Angora, I reckon. I must see him." " Come along, then." After they had trudged about au hour they reached the residence of the Gal vestonian. The goat was tied tip in au outhouse. Tho Western Texas man looked at the goat with a bewildered air. " There ain't no Angora in that goat." " There is money in him for all that," responded the owner. The stockman felt the animal all over, looked nt the texture of his hair, and then said: " I can't see any points that goat has got over any other goat. Did you say you paid seventy-five dollars for that scrub ?" " That goat cost me seventy-five dol lars, and I expect to get my money back." " Well, you couldn't get out of me." " I am not trying to get it out of you, but I hope to get it out of tho goat. But, I'll tell you candidly, if you had chawed up my vest pocket with seventv five dollars in it, like that goat did, I'd have it out of you some way or otht r." Then the stockman caught hold of his own vest, and laughed until a crowd began to gather. Gulceston yews. Referring to trade marks, the Carpet Trade Review says that Guttenberg won a suit about one, and that the English parliament authorized them as early as the thirteenth centurv. Keokuk Cwndtilution Every Time, A man, or even a piece of machinery 'hat does its work rigut every time, is, we think, very correctly judged ' valu able." And certainly none the less valuable is at y article designed to re lieve the iil of mssukicd, and which doe so every time. Messrs. Jones, Cook & C;., liny State Brewery, Boston, Moss. , write : We have used St. Jacobs Oil iuiongour men and fird that it helps them ' every time." We therefore heartily recommend it as a pain-healiDg liniment. p Ten millions of cattle are annually slaughtered in this country to supply the home meat demand, valued at about 1011,0(10,1100. Cairo (lil.) Ridical Ropublicin What We Know About It; " What do sou know about St. Jacab3 j Oil P" said one of our oldest subscribers. i This was a fair question, and we an 1 swi r, tbat we are reliably informed that I a gentleman of this city who has euffer j ed untold aony, and spent a mint t;f money to get reitel lrom litipumatisw. in desperation bought soius and tried it, and declares that it is the heat remedy for Rheumatism he evtr heard ot. A Chicago physician says that prob ably 20,000 people in that city are in juring their health and endangering their lives by using hair cosmetics and face powders. A lll'.tfl llCulir.Kell Suoh axproctioua arc very common among llio. o nfll cicd with u Cougu or C'oicl. I'hcy Imvu called on the doctor and bo baa prt scribed. They luivo used neatly evorjtuinu Uich has beon itcciiinnen lo I, bu' arc no bet tor. H' pe abandons .hem aud Oiey look with di-trust upon nil inudiciiien. But there ii an old lutuily n-mcdy advertised in this pupei' wiuon po-i-e-BL'B truo lnoiit. A lion's Lung Iiniuuui will cu e your Cold or Couh. Try it unl you wiil receive new li'ipua d u pm- lecicuie. I is pleasant to take ai d perleoiiy i.armloss. i'be city eru.gi-la all sml it. Here is the account of the shortest courtship on record: " Rachel, the Lord hath sent me to marry thee," said the suitor. "The Lord's will be done," was the submissive reply. Mes'rs. Ivy Bros., drufcis s, Owrgo, N.T.I Airtiui a year si. ce a tuMion u- fro " Oi w. 1., Pa., culled my auention to your Cietim llnlin aa remedy lor Cutiirili. ila Fi-ver, etc. He wna so earie st iu averting it to bu a positiio cur (tiinihelf nuv ng been cured by ii ), that I was ii.dncuil to pniclm-e a stock. I must ty that the Uh1.u bun met my hestexp o u'iotu, having already elTi uted a iintnb r oi cures in turn locality. Itonpeo lully, P. K. Hy-ut, M.D., Uonleutown. N. J. Out. bn-26, 1SS0. Mesr . White & UunlicU, drugjuis, Iilmcn, N. V.: My daughter an l mwcli, great tullui er lrom Cutuirii, have battn cuied by Ely t Cram li lm. sly sunte. t tin ell restored an 1 htultli greatly improvud. C." M. Stanley, denier in hoots a- d !!' Ithtirn, N. V. Pr.ce, 50 coins. Kiy's Cieani li ilin Co., Owet;o, iN'. V. Will mud it lor 6J ctum. Pcbe Coo Liveb Oil mad.' lrom selected livers, on tne e.u4;ina, by Caaweil, llnzo.nl It Co., N'V Yurk. It is ab-oluicly pure and we ft. Patients who have oneu taken it pre. I r it to ull others. I'hyMC an. bavodeoidodit tupcriur to anyol the odior oils iu market. GIIFAT mKI2 Ml-. lIOI R. rn. Tonus vuxKri.tx nonsu lin'imkvt in f'h t l-Ii ib at i louts; KlptMsest h iwie i. It . the w si hi Hie worid .r the tit e of e.ii. 0'l s les.Si.r.iH. Iliuis . Sore lliroalt. elc. TOHMS- IMMllno.V Pom dkus -e wamntr.l to rur uttinr, F. vit Worini. 11 U; give a Que Gnat; Incre se Hi uppctlte nt cram, the urinary orsiun. Cerilflcl lo l y 0 I. U. Mv)u H. owner of fc.une of tho fa.iest mcnin: bursal In the wor.it, mi l I .mi uihcu. u.l rru i. no.U by dtuj- OPIUM Morphine Hub!! t'url Ix 16) UOdya. KiiiuyullCurHl. 1W i. Miwatruia, UOam. UU Can't Prearn Good No man oau do a good job ot work, preaoh Rood sermon, try a law, suit well, doctor a patl. nt, or write a Rood artlola when lie feeli miserable and dull, with slngRish brain and unsteady net ret, and none should make the (.tempt in inch a oondition when it can be s) entity and chea, ly renovated by a little Hop Bitters. See "Truths" and "Proverbs," Other column. The California State mineralogist lately almost lost his life while investi gating the mud volcanoes in the Colorado desert. The crust surrounding one of the craters gave way, and, as the San rrancisco Alia says, he "almost sank" into tho boiling cauldron. Ton Can be Itappy (1 yon will nop nil your eEiiftvagant end wrong notions in doctoring yoursell and lami lics with expensive doctors or humbug cure, alls, that do harm always, and me only nature's simple remedies for all yo ir ailments you will be wisn. well and happy, and fave gient expense. The gvatett remedy lor this, the great, wise and good will tell you, is Hop Uittets believe it. See Proverb" in an other column. " John." said Mr. Snob, " send a nlumber ur to the house to-day. I'll let folks know I'm wealthy and able to afford luxuries." Boson Post. A nioated Body does not nlwavn b Ionic to au inebriate. KM rev troubles will cause bloat, but Wnrcer': Sale Kidney and Livur Cure has nevsriniltd to remove it; The cultivation of pampas grass, much used for decorative purposes, has become quite a profitable industry in Southern California. Snnnd repose is so eiential to good benlt' that we leel emprise I to know any one woulil litk los ot rest ninn a Ccuin or Cold, when a b it lo ot Dr. Buh'a Cough Sitcp would g.ve ieue9M"n 'Inm n,. It cost Colonel Wilder, the noted po mologist, 8250 to obtain the original camellia from which those to lie found it America were grown. It was imported about forty years ago. (Tiii engriwlng represent ttis Lmvs in a lu-iilili state. What The Doctors Sav? Pit. F1 KTOIII2H. "f l-.'n irc-nuuon 1 yn'tir tin sum ' mriAU-uie lur coughs n-l ti-l is . t.'tl, M, 8'ivg: " hi prei'd'cuce to any otlie; DU. A. JOHN JOX. i-f Mt. Vinwn. Ii';.. writt'i : S"iiit woiiiU-rful i-iti. Sf'f ('nu n" i xn) In hts pi.-ici ly the Ute of " A leu' !,u k I-u-mi." IIH. J. R. Tl'K VEH. 1;... ntsvllV. AU.. a pra.tiri'i: ptiys'ci.iu of tv.vnt'Xh -.,:, writ,: I ;k tie b-.'-i p.-i ptratioii for C"fiisnuii'i1--Ji iii tlie w-.rM.M For n'l IH'VIKCji f Ih TUo-f. F.ti f nail ln' inii n Oian-K.it t ill lift' uu n mo t frxeelltriif Ztt'iurily. Ag au Expectorant i h;:a no Equal. It oontains m Opium in any Form J. N. HAltUlS t CO., Proprietors, CINCINNATI, O. Foi f-Uilo 1 v 1 1 lMimiplist H J3o!dJ)yMcKASSO i IIor.lirNS. cw YnrK. yfip It TOU At ,iuauyirf.U our HtrfVK Jr of fni.iiiL', enen ny the btram or voux fiutics avoid rtiPitilcntxand uja liirhr woi k. to res- ICC Una biain m rveraiii Hop Bitters. jwa.ste, Ube Hop & If tou aro jouni? and dUcrt'tioii &r '.'i-iija lion j it you urn inr.i--younp, rmiTcrliiff from urcennff rrom any in- lira or unci, oia ,tnEt" Oiii or ?w vi UllurkuiKiiMiHlr' ly on HopRE er you arc, rAi, a on a uuu oz biiv- Bitters Tho i3Rnds die en- wliMieTor you feci tiiat your tyitcin ii'-ei!? cU'RiiiIns, t-u-hi? op ftiimilatinf-, r 1 fnrm ot It I H m . w distf-Mi unit imulit have been rrt'tinud lbya ti'iicly liquor iai:o MOD Bitters. nopuircers Q. I. C. or urnmrtjKom- r.'Tiiit, tiHCttw of the e'omach, fKiirrf's, blood, it ceruv nerves ! Ton will be cured If vu me Hop Bitters If you arenlm-l rly weak find jwsj-iriU'il.tryi it i It may1 save your life. It has saved hun !m.rf irnwKlu. hie euro for (Ininkt-nness , use of oini.ii inccui or i-strcuUca Sold by dnifr Circular. dreds THE IKihqcf Saw Machines Price 89.00. $1000 00 IN 0A3H 18 deposited In WWWW.WW bank ag-alnst any other aw machine In America. This Is the cheapest machine made, and warranted to saw logs easier and faster than any other. We are the oldest saw machine firm In America. Any prominent mer chant will tell you we are responsible. Beware of infringements. Our circulars are free. Address, Cnlled Slates Manufacturing Co., Chicago, HI. Oar WELL AUGERS will bore well 75 feet deep end 2 feet In diameter In a day. Tlii: would clear you $50 in a dey. Bend for our Pictorial Catalog-ue. U. S. MANF'G CO., Chicago, 111. RED RIVER 2.000.0G0 Acres Lands bast In tta world, tor tale by tb St. Paul, MinnesBQlis & ManitoH R.R. CO. Tbrea doUars p.?r acrn alloe'l tfao i tlr for braalv log aud cultiVevuja. For pir'kuUr .ply to D. A. McSCIraLAY. Land Commtfi'ioiirr, t, l'aul, ninn WMr Iyelfetlir 4 4FKST nul liK.i ; It aeU ltiba. nt t iieiiiE:.Ipro(ludht; the most Hamuli t-liuiieor It m k or lltuwnj iloti SitT SiALN Itie Stv., au'l In taUy RISTAOORO'SKS-ii It k a bian-larj n and a tavonta onevet y well n ilntctl lcltor La'iyur Geiiticmun. bnWt by liiii iiuim uu 1 .ir i..i-d by llmr lrct . J eimt.UlWi! iamSi ,N'.Y. C. N. CUinLMO.N. Aut. ;4 AI.o6AL.AUY ucrmouth. AU EXPENSES l a uTsnccil. WiUtg itrflinirOr prttl. 6 LOAN ual A to. SO Uers ka. Claslaiai.I. o. finrrl AlVmrri Only prscuesl Beo msd. Carl t"liU iAlUUIU boanl le.il. open both en.la, hol.li BuUCaids. Bent free by lnal) f-n ru-eipt of fcl.t.O. II. A. liKUUKS, a! kil SI.. SIeDl, tM. YnilMR MFIM Lorn Tein!'a.!iy. harn H lo ino" iuwku lllt.1. D,oijih.Oiaa..al.miaraitteiiialLg S3! r' A irfOrVril I AStNtH WANTED! . iii IU Iksl S,l,j An,c e. In the worU, . W M tmif .tjrtt. Jay Uro.o. Detlbll, Mich. AI.IFK'H Brain rood-cn'es Nerron. Debllltj k We.ikni.-M ot Gi ernili e uruiiw, t)tal diugflila beuii lur Ur'I'i loAllu' Pliaruiacy.it 13 t'lrtt Av..S.y. S777 A VRAH tad sxpenari toaianla, V. O VICKEKY, Au.u.1, Maine. AHPMT WANTli . S.ci'im.n UUUa. Olrn ani HUr.11 1 a BoJ a. Adarraa Hatcli r roe., hrldf coort. Ot PISO'S CURElSLiXi'MC AGOOD FAMILY REMEDY! STRICTIiY 1'IUK. lw fete i r.s-?- 8:H mmi y UIIILIlUtf NEVER I I FAIL m . Ji OOP BITTBBS B. TO CO., fc Kaeknttr, . I. P. Toroul. llcL fi. Iff 0m mm 1-HJn GREAT GERMAN REMEDY ' RHEUMATISM NEURALGIA, ' SCIATICA, LUM3AG0, .lHll.imUUIUHiW ft ni!!! m Mini BACKACHE, SORENES9 or m CHEST, ll'ffliiniiiiiiiiJt ! ! h... ...! h S0P.ETHR0AT, QUINSY, SWELLIMaS Afro SPRAINS, IFm9n ! Ifil 'iiijlllliiuiiiiiuiK!!!i FROSTED FEET AND EARS, AND BOAIiSS, mm :nt:t:' n it: tr ' j Pains TOOTH, EAR 4!fT HEADACHE. miDTHEB Fill Ih, .-!.(;! ..!! liiiiliil AND IU claim,. DiHECTIOMt IU ELITES LAN0t,AUE9. SOU) 11 All DRU00I5TS AND OtAltF.S IN MEDIC'.IIE. A. VSI-ER & CO. JSnltitnnrr. SM-. fjjfij; INFLAMMATIONS and HEMORRHAGES. Ml . Lineumatisni, neuralgia No other irrarut:0'i Ivm circ Foraanv ci-.tfl of these iti'tn'ssit-tr coTnp.ui: n i t'ia i:triu t. Our luitur is i ivulual)3oiii t'ieii(MU-euMis, Limibupro. Pai ism back or Si.te. k:. O ir O-ntim-nt (W cents) for u-n vht removal f clot Hi i;rulicot ve ileat, Uatfrout iiolp La is.leviurf iuiuuiatory Hemorrhages. IVew.r frora tb Vnsn. fir f mm nnv iiirt i BOPPtliltf co,itrrJc 1 aid hater ($I.UJ) urourcut uldd iu urreotL.g' tulerud b eediuif. Diphtheria & Sore Throat. LVotbB I? xtrnrt promptly. It ia a euro cure. Do-, lay Id Uiiuguroud. rM iPir-li 'inG Rxtrnrt I the eny e psclfio LUlUll II. for Una (It'.r.''v?. CnUl 111 II mid kc. Oiv M'iturHi t'nif." i-pecullv iir.:;-arc4 to meet pc ii n ;b en no, c 11' nil t'.'.t cutntinj rro 'crUoi cf t.io lr:n t o.:r .;inl Sjrluuo ivi!u:ij:t f r n 'o la cuUri'iiiil uilcctiojj?, Usuuflo audu.iuipeubivo. Sores. Uicero, Wounds, Sprains and Bruises. injr. cooli'itr o:).l f!on-ii:i:r. Vcn our Ointment i'i oo-iPGctlti wlttt (he Ivirnt (it v.iil aid iu iicnliuK. euituiug'midialoci iijout tlioi.ir. Bums and Scalds. ""2 it 1 unrlvoli'tl, tvA rho"H I f ko t i:i ev-.-ry f uiaily rc:id' lur w-is In c (f m i ! t , Af.rLv-iTrw ut o ir Otuimciit will aid ia licitautf aud lruvcl Inflamed or Sore Eves. It(iitio nce'i without tho t'l ':r-t f-r :':-i:i, without i;in. roothac'ip and , I'.r-u i -l: ran n to v: tlOTlS, ltSClVoct 1.1 fill J I l" Wiv.i.,ct.li. &9 It UlUa crc.ntc:-;T lninwn lotnotlv ! ri- i'llv curl"t; v.'hc'i rl ii'i' in,-'!!''i ci lmo f :!';". l'lilHi'H I.Xt',..( ! -IN ;i v;tfri'T,'J"l Olntiiif nt, i- f r-ir ovv:a) v.1k..o tLc iv;(.;.l For BroUsn" ot clci.'u ?iri.iJ.icuvc-io:ii. Breast OOi SJ i.(jfJ3vy.. c.vnnly nrni cflVn. clou t'nt tntb-r i v.-ho li ivn o:k o l it w' vevr r lo within it. -(.'li;iuivut id thobcbteioUie;.! tlliit CUil bo iiiI.KX Femalo Complaints. f"t be called nfnrtho m ij 'v t fomalo dii't-nrsii tho xirutt bo ubid. i'ti uirocUouiacuoiui;iU".y uui;u uuiuu. CAUTCOM. Pond's Extract Has boon Imltaf ! 'J hi) C'TiUiUrJ h . tho words mP'm!,. r(rm (" b.nrrii l:i tho k; Bad our i'ji't;ir& tij-i'i::t oi mu'rotiiuhiK t i;. .t.ii;.' r. No . cV-.'-r i itv;ul' Ahvay i on li-tvi'ifr I'Mfi'H 1;m m (. I'ot.tlj: r ;. lar.iao.i. It is dvcr i.'-i i i or bo mcu it? rico Pono'a Fl xtr ct, Toilec A rti C!8 and ispcj.altiuj. 0DS HX Tii it" .. :.rc.4l.:Onnri.rMl,' iliit Crciuil 1 r I i.iiii i ti i'lit- teiti.ei-ifc ;.!. ' , i; iialve ii Met Mr,ii (.)C! ;) ilutmeut IfC. :-. .(.! e.i-.n;.-r Prepared oa'y by PJNJ EXTRACT CJ-, KEW VOHK AND LONDON, for sale by all I);:- ti v.u-cy Goc-da Dfta!n '.l- I. it- 9. ut.;t it: r Hcnd us your Addrotis ON A A'OSTAL CARD, AND WB Wl'.r. SKH ''O'J Ol'K 'l.VTKIIKS'llMl ANO VALLA1ILB I'AMi'ill.lCl' l'OK LA1 OV "Shopping inflewYork" EHR1CI1 BSSIHIB 285 tc 29d Eighth Avenue, NEW YOIIK. SURE RIDDANCE RAlb, RATS, RATS. MICE, MICE, MICE, j CROWS, Prof. Mitchell's MAGIC WHEAT, Don't Die ia tba House! A Magic Exterminator of RATS, MICE, MOLES, CR0W5, &c. CROWS, CROWS. Price, JS3 t'ls. per Facksc D. M. St! ger & Co.. C3 Barclay St.,H.YAgbnts. ENCYCLOPEDIA TIOUETTEIBUSINF Ilili is fli. eliMne and onl comu'et. an i nV.ii, work on ttlqunie nJ ll.'.ilnen ui.j s,ia K..rv,i it te U Uow to iHirturm all v.mvu, .lui e. oi Hf,-, an.? how toap-ar lo tu bct iv.wUf on all occ.V, "i Adilrta. Naiifcint Puui isulvo Co.. Puili ic u;,ia. Pa. GELLULOID EYE-CLASSE8. Reprwemlrg the ehoioest fleeted Torioiss Bii.ll .od Atuhar. Tli. lightest, bsnlauian.t, and strongest known. 60 d by 0,iticnna and lewnlors. Mda by 8I'KXi.:ER OI'llCAL M F G. CO., 18 Mai lea Line, New York. AlViorJ LA"T KA It W . lo Kt par Aora. iiiiTiiiiiiMiili!iii!ill7l'J Pill S HlKl. Pond's Extract. . . . . ; i : : .1. i.'iv . iv FREE! raj urut,, .iiiiiinera li-;in, cim.il.. k V. iiHAiUiUtt, -wiadtw Hi.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers