"if: t i: ' v'l A v I .i. 2Z I ) HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher, ELK COUNTY THE ItE P U D L 1 CA N . T A RT Y. Two Dollars ter Akhtjm. VOL. II. B IlIDGWAY, PA,. THURSDAY, AUGUST 1, 1872. NO. 22. POISTJI Y. this old Couple. BTI.OCinKcnANDLCRMnri.TON. They sat in th. sun together, Till the day l almost dons, And then at Its closo an antral Stepped over the threshold stone. Iln folded tholr hands togcthor, Ho touched their eyelids with balm. And their last breath floated npward Llko the closo of a solemn psalm. Like bridal pair they traversed The unseen, mystical road. That leads to the Beautiful City, Whose Bulldor and Sinker Is God. l'erhaps, In that miracle country, ' Thoy whl (rive her lost youth hack, And the flowers of a vanished Sprinu-Uino ' Shall bloom in the spirit's track.' One drancnt of the living waters Shall restore his manhood's prime. And eternal years shnll measure The love that outlives time. But the shapes they left behind them Tho wrlnklos and stiver hair Made sacred to us bv the kisses Tho angel imprinted there We'll hide away in th. meadow, When tho snn Is low in tho west. Where the moonbeams cannot And them. Nor the wind distnrb their rest. But we'll let no tell-tale tombstone, With Its ago and date, arise O'or tho two who are old no longor In tholr Father's house in the skies. THE STORY-TELLEll. MRS. DOBB'S YOUXGEST. A TALE OF HORROR I Mis. Theophilus Dobb's remark wtis nut complimentary, and I am quito aware that, under ordinary circum stances, any man of spirit would have resented it. To paraphrase, slightly, the observation of that blessed martyr, " Mariana in tho Moated Grange," I only said, I am aweary, aweary." " You're a downright fool !" she taid. I have strong conviction that, if I had taken the trouble, I could have dis proved this rather sweeping assertion though, certainly, subsequent events seemed to corroborate her opinion but I did not even attempt to contradict it. Tho fact was, that I had an object in keeping Mrs. D.'s good graces. I was paying attention to Miss Jenny Bird, and Theo. Dobb and his wife were that young Udy's guardians. In short, I had about made up my mind to request Miss Jenny to become Mts. Smith-Preston. y me way, my name is omirn-i res ton, legally. The latter half was con ferred on me by a formal act of our highly honorable legislature, my uncle Preston having devised me his property on condition? that I assumed his patro nymic. But tho great majority of my malo friends though perfectly ac quainted with this important fact persistently ignore it. It is by no means pleasant, when one wishes to make a otriking impression, and has just been introduced to a desirable acquaintance by tho rather aristocraetic title of Preston, to have some booby rush up, with as much clatter as a ruuaway mule would make, and shout out at the top of his strident voice : "Hullo, Smith, my boy! how's old Smith V the last question referring to my paternal progenitor, who, I cannot deny, is "old Smith" still. And that brings me back to my origi nal subject. It was for making a per fectly natural observation of the same tenor as tho above, that Mrs. Thoophilus Dobb pronounced mo a downright fool. As 1 have already stated, I did not even contradict, much less resent, her unkind remark. I was payingattention to her pretty ward, Miss Jenny Bird. B ut, after all, I should have prospered quite as well if I had Bhown a proper spirit on. that particular occasion. Moses was, undoubtedly, a very celebra ted man, and he was meek ; but meek ness, as a general rule, is not becoming to a man. My meekness, in my inter course with Mrs. D., did not procure me any favor ; far less did it aid me to attain my heart's desire. I suppose I may as well tell tho whole Btory just as it happened. After you have heard it, I fear you will say that Mrs. Theophilus Dobb was more than half right. Per haps she was for I feel very meek on the threshold of my confession but still I contend she had no earthly right to tell mo sa in the presence of Miss Jenny Bird. Do you know what an enfant terrible is, fair reader '( If not, you had better study French and find out. I found out without studying Trench. Mrs. Dobb's youngest taught mo in ono lesson. Mrs. Theo. Dobb was a matron of many years' standing, and of her children, tho name was Legion. How many sho had oxactly, I neveii know ; but I do know that, by some stupendous miracle, they were nil young, and that they pervaded everything. Lover would have had a better chance for a tete-a-tete in the inidst of au excited Irish political meet ing than in any corner of the Dobb man sion. It was, doubtless, owing to the fact that the Legion always had its own sweet will, and was always prepisely where it was not wanted, that, up to the time of which I am about to write, I had never found an opportunity to ask Miss Jenny Bird the direct question whether she would' allow me to trans form hor from a Bird into a bride. And ts tho rear-guard of the Legion Mrs. Dobb's youngest I owe the bitter recol lection that I never did put that impor tant question to that young lady. Mr. Dobb's vounsrest was what is facetiously called a playful child. Mrs. Dobb's friends invariably imprecated the direst anathemas upon this interest ing infant in the silence ot their inner hearts, and openly lauded him to the skies as so full of spirits." More diplo matio lying was done about Theophilus Dobb, junior, than Machiavel ever dreamed of poroetratinsr: for, as usual in such cases, her voun&rest was tke mother's favorite, and if any one desired to retain Mrs. Dobb's good will, they incontinently praised the child, even when suffering excruciating agonies of mind or body, the result of one of its " playful " tricks. Chubby, dirty, odor ous of bread and butter, about seven years old and remarkably precocious, Theo. Dobb, junior, was the inearnation of malicious mischief and thereby hangs my tale. On the occasion referred to, I,, how ever, felt sure that I should have an op- Eortunity to put tho decisive question, ravely resolving that I would at once cmbraco it and Miss Jenny, provided her answer was favorable. How well I remember my dress and general appear ance on that eventful day 1 I am de cidedly tall and rather spare of person my detractors even say that I am lank and that my long legs resemble pipe stems. That this is pure slander I need scarcely observe, but I need not stop to refute it now. Suffice it to say that my figure is elegant and distingue, and that on that day I was get up, in an appro priate costume, regardless of expense. It was a water-paity. A friend of mine had built a steamboat and invited mo to bring my friends and have a jolly timo on the trial-trip of the vessel. As it was a nautical occasion and in the midst of summer, I wore garments suit ed to the season and the situation. My nether man was clad in nankeen inex pressibles, tight at tho hips and remark ably flowing about the ankles. A gorgeously embroidered blue shirt, with a wide collar a la motelut, clothed my stalwart chest, and over this I donned an abbrieviated jucketof nankeen, with out a pavticle of tail, and of the style technically known as " round." A sailor hat of straw with a broad bluo ribbon, its long ends floating gracefully down behind, completed my costume, and I defy the most malignant critic to pro nounce it inappropriate or unbecoming. I felt it becoming, for it set off my peculiar style of manly beauty to a charm, and I should have had no alloy whatever in my cup of happiness, if Briggs Toady Briggs, as his best friends call him had not been of tho party. A pushing, arrogant, disagreeable fel low is that Briggs. I never liked him, but he would persist in thrusting him self upon me, and he intruded in just the same way upon Mists Bird. If I had but told him what she often said about him Well, that's neither here nor there. I never did tell him, and here he was, this boautiful, bright, sunshiny morn ingdressed as if he was going to a ball, and really looking very well, for him obscuring my sunshine and clouding my enjoyment by persistently sticking, in his usual obtrusive, self-sufficient way, as close as a limpet to a rock, to Miss Jenny's side. He would carry her para sol, and follow her around the deck with a camp-stool, and fan her with a palm leaf, and adjust her lorgnette talking and endeavoring to be witty all the time, in such a ridiculous way, that the dear girl was absolutely obliged to choke herself with her moncJioir to prevent her self from laughing in his very face so that, positively, I was unable to get a single confidential word with her until the boat was quite out at sea, and, hav ing been bilious for more than a week, I began to feel rather qualmish. I told him, a dozen times, that ho was making a fool of himself, and that she was quite disgusted with the nonsense he was uttering, not to say anything of his officiousness; but he had too good an opinion of himself and his wit to heed my kindly warning, and very im pertinently told mo to go to well to go to the court of his Satanic majesty and agitate myself. He said shako my self," but I wish to soften the vulgarity of his remark, as much as possible, when repeating it to ears polite. I did not go to the place he mentioned, but I was sufficiently agitated, both by his inso lence and the motion of the vessel, to feel the necessity of a few moment's re pose. Accordingly, I retired from the contest with my usual grace leaving bim burdened with tho camp-stool, tho lorgnetto, the fan, tho parasol and the reproaches of his conscience, not to men tion Miss Jenny herself and sought a secluded spot where I might recline at my ease and meditate upon the speech I meant to mako to the young lady, which I now determined to utter as wo return ed into the harbor. I found a cool, quiet spot on the top of a long box, under the awning en the forward deck, and my biliousness hav ing been somewhat relieved by a small ttiKse of cognac, which the steward kind ly brought mo, I stretched myself at length upon the box, and turning my back to the merry-makers aft, plunged into a delightful reverie. The attitude, the breeze, the measured clank of the machinery, ami the brandy, all invited me to repose, and nothing could have added to my cantent if Briggs and Le gion had been left behind. But unfor tuutttely Briggs was there, usurping my post at Miss Jennie's side, and Legion was there, kicking up an infernal racket all about the dock. And, wors of all, Mrs. Dobb's youngest was there, com manding the legion with all the fuss and vociferation of a first-class genoral of the modern school, and making more noise in ono minute than a battery of six pounders, worked by veteran artil lerists, could possibly make in an hour. An energetic objurgation, uttered in my most peremptory tones, scattered this hordo of light infant-ry, and even created a panic in the mind of their commander, Mrs. Debb's youngest, for he set tho example as many modern commanders havo done of retreating from mv vicinitv. and their shrill voices havin died away in the distance, I gradually fell into a peaceful slum ber. I cannot say how long I slept, but it must have been for some hours, for when I awoke I found that tho vessel had begun to retrace her course, and was already some distance within the mouth of tho harbor. This fact dawned upon me gradually as I stared about mo, while slowly collecting my thought and coming to a realizing sense ot where I was. When I was quite awake I be gan to bo surprised at the unusual si lenco that reigned around me,and another fact suddonly and disagreeably present ed itself. The wholo company had gone down into the cabin to partake of the generous feast provided lor us by our host, and had coolly loft mo sleeping, forgetting mo as if I had been of no ac count whatever. Breathing dire vows of vengeance, I scrambled off the. box in haste, and without pausing to examine the state .r. x ft l .1-1 .ffi J oi my to let, rusueu on vuwm mo tum panionway. But if I was .enraged at thus being neglected, ore I reached the Btairenso all my wrath had vanished for, sitting ponsively alone upon the quarter-deck, I beheld tho object of my heart s adoration, Miss Jennie mrd. All thought of feasting vanished from my mind. Hero was tho feast of reason and the flow of soul in short, hero was my opportunity of putting the all-important question which was to decide my future fate. I did not hesitate ; not a being was near save ourselves ; no such felicitous occasion might present itself again in years. Without premed itation or preparation I rushed franti cally forward, and before she could have g.f.iiered an idea of my desperate purpose, I had thrown myself at her feet I What meant that crimson blush which, in a moment, dyed her neck and cheek and brow as with a flood of color ' Did sho anticipate my design, and while preparing herself to requite my fervent adoration, shield herself behind that vivid signal of maidenly modesty, as if erecting a rampart to check my too passionate ardor ' Perhaps. Neverthe less, there was evidently an even strong er emotion agitating hor inmost soul. I could not but pei'ceivo that somothiug beyond mere modesty and surprise moved her. A strange convulsion shook her fair form from head to foot ; her eyes seemed starting from their dilated orbits ; the blush deepened upon hsr angelic face until it really seemed more liko an apoplectic congestion; and while, with both hands, sho appeared to be stuffing her laco mouchoir into hor half-opened mouth, a singulur, rattling noise in her throat filled me with tho dreadful alarm that sho was choking. As I was starting to my feet, fright ened half to death at these symptoms of what seemed te bo an approaching fat, the sound of voices and footsteps on the stairs behind me indicated the return of tho guests from the banquet. They were led by Briggs who had only left Miss Jenny for a moment while he went to fetch her forgotten parasol and by the time I had attained an erect posture, they trooped upon tho deck. Imagine my astonishment when I beheld each one of them, Briggs foremost, start back in alarm, stare at mo wildly, and then double up, like two-foot rules, in perfect paroxysms of laughter. I turned slowly around, gazing at each, one in turn in profound dismay, and at my movement the storm of mirth redoubled j whilo, to crown my mortification and distress, it became plain to mo that it was not a fit, but a severe struggle to repress her own mirth, which had caused Miss Jenny's convulsive action. The laughter continued, peal upon peal, during the spaco of three or four minutes. It was clear, I thought, that they were laughing at the joko of hav ing caused me to lose my ilinner, and my rage, rising higher and higher every moment, was at tho point of exploding in some act of violence, of which, un doubtedly, Briggs would have felt tho weight. But at this crisis that disgust ing individual, perhaps seeing tho im minence of my fury, seized me by the arm, and with some difficulty ,on account of his continued mirth, drew me into the entrance of tho companionway. The interior of this structure was lined with splendid mirrors, and as soon as I was within it, I could behold my full length figure clearly reflected in the shining glass. Horror on horror's head accumulate ! What was it that I did behold in those fatal mirrors V My own graceful form transformed into the striking semblance of a gigantic Shanghai rooster! Was I dreaming ' Was I under the influence of some diabolical, magical spell 't Ha ! the infernal truth rushes on mo with the force of an avalanche. I am the victim yes, there can be no doubt of it the victim ot circumstances and tho malevolence of that dwarf fiend in hu man form Mrs. Dobb's youngest! Why dwell on that agonizing experi ence? Let me end mo tale as he did bv tho shortest nossiblo process. Find ing me peacefully sleeping, defenseless and at his mercy, the little wretch had stolen a feather pillow from the cabin, and with the aid of a convenient tar- bucket on deck, plastered my posterior with layer upon layer ot leathers, until they formed a huge appendage that pro truded more than two feet behind me, and hung down in waving folds precise ly like the tail of a half-starved ostrich. Not content with that, he had orna mented my bald head with a central row of tar and leathers, in imitation of a cock r-comb, and when you recollect thut I am tall and spare, and how I was dressed, perhaps you can form some idea ot tho picture 1 presented. If you can't, I'm not going to help you, you may be sure. ,- When that steamboat reached her dock, or by what means 1 reached my domicile, I have never known unto this day. But this I do know, that the day before yesterday I received an invita tion to the wedding of Miss Jennie Bird with that odious Briggs. The best wish I can give them is that they may be compelled to pass their honeymoon in the society ot Airs. Dobb s youngest. Franlc Leslies' Illustrated A'etcspajjer. A speculative drayman at Paducah, Ky., professes to have discovered a verit able pool of Bethesda. It is said that a certain woman was afflicted with the dropsy and she fell asleep, and lo, there appeared unto her a dream. And in her dream she saw an angel, and the angel said unto her eo and dig a well at a cer tain place and drink of tho waters, and thou shalt be . healed. . And she went and did as the angel commanded her and was healed ot her disease. Now, this poor drayman owns the laud where that well is, and thinks to find a little profit in it by bottling tho waters and selling them. Manners of tlio Bay. A writer of the Chicago Time de plores the lack of courtesy in these days, and illustrates as follows : You step into a justices office. A young man sits near enough a desk to make a footrack of it, reading a paper. You are after the istice, and you ask in a tone, greatly modulated by experi ence of lormer rebttrls, it he is in. x ou stand in waiting until the young man has finished his paragraph, when he gives you the benefit of a casual inspec tion, and resumes his paper.incidentally remarking that he thinks not. rut upon, but not discouraged, you resume : " When is he likely to be in r" Feebly, " Can't say," devouring anoth er paragraph about a boy being chawed up by a dog in Iowa. In doubt whether you may safely ask another question, you still muster up courage enough to inquire : " Where will I be likely to find him f Without looking up, " In Milwaukee." Irritated at this cool trifling with time and patience, you demand : " Uould you not havo said as much at first 'f" Imperturbablv, " If I'd been asked I could, old boy." And you, who had thought yourself able to stand before kings, retire from tbe presence ot tins bold, brassy boy, discomfited. A gentleman of mv acquaintance, of tho very finest sensibilities, and one to whom a word is Beverer than a blow, went with a lady friend to a great de pot in this city to help her off on a journey. Ho went first to have her baggage enccked. I'omtmg out her trunk to the man in charge, the only re ply mado was the word " Ticket : " Not comprehending exactly what was meant, ho stood a moment, as one will who is in doubt, expecting an ex planation. It came : " Uo and get your ticket it yon want your baggage checked : roared the man, m the coarse, hard tone ot a ruf fian. My friend got the ticket and return ed. The trunk was put on the scales and proved to bo over-weight. " Dollar . ejaculated the man. My friend, you know, innocently supposed that baggage went wVth tho passenger without extra charge, and therefore thought he was being defraud ed. So ho said : " I think I'll not pay the dollar. I'll tako the trunk buck and send it by ex press." " JN o you won t, said tuo baggage man, " you'll pay tho dollar." Ana lie aid. A young man saw a card in a win dow, " Four neckties for a quarter." That being about the amount he felt ablo to squander on neck wear, he step ped in. A primped and bedeviled knight of tho ribbon stood behind tho counter, and seemed utterly oblivious of tho young man's approach until ad dressed. " I would liko some of those neckties," said tho young man. " How many '" asked the clerk. "Four." " We can't make anything selling these neckties, four at a time," said the young man in a petulant way. " We frequently lose a largo sale whilo we are attending to these neckties." " 1 wonltln t keep em, said the young man. "And it 1 kept em, l wouldn t advertise them in the window ' four for a quarter.' " " I he you wouldn t, said the mild-eyed, pleus ant-spoken clerk, as with one gyration of his attenuated shadow-grown form, he whisked his neckties back into tho show-case, and went placidly back to his ogling. The young man thinks that was tho promptest dry goods prince he has ever met, even in Chicago. Did you ever muster up courage to speak to ono of our policemen V one of tRoso fellows who stand around in their first good clothes to boss the news boys 'f If you havo, you need no advice. If not, you will find the following sim- plo directions ot great value: pi ever speak to a policeman when your wife is by. To be snubbed in her presence is subversive of home discipline. N ever attempt jm interview in pres ence ot your sweetheart. Her hero, punctured, suffers a collapse. Never approach a peeler with your hat on. lie will arrest you for con tempt. Never approach one with your hat off. Meekness and civility are his meat and drink. If you seek directions from one seek it from two. As they will not agree ask a third. To tho sum of their differ ences add what you beforo knew, and you will be in a condition to go and look in a directory. To make an interview perfectly safe and eminently satisfactory, get yourself up in a loud and dashing style. Buff trowsors variegated waistcoat " Dol lie Yurden" necktio. Take on a swag ger, a look of assurance the but, then, unless you have blood in your eye you will not succeed. Xazartt'i. Rev. J. B. Dunn, writing to the Bos ton Traveller, gives the following de scription ot Nazareth : The situation of Nazareth is very pleasant, the people are better dressed, and the women handsomer than any we have yet seen in the East. What a pity we must add tho streets are the dirtiest, an open sewer running through many of them. We of course visited the house where it is said Jesus and his parents lived; also, Joseph's workshop, where we saw pictures of Mary and her son, dressed in modern costume, and Joseph at work before a carpenter's bench, on wich lay tools of modern invention. Towards sunset wo ascended the hill. from the top of which are to be had the finest views of any in Palestine. On reaching our tent we found our favorite muleteer, Safada, and his brother Fran cis, both of whom are Mohammedans, had given an Arab a severe tbrashin because the Arab cursed the Christians and our party. One of the most interesting sights to bo seen at Nazareth is the crowd of young women and girls that between tho hours of five and eight in the even ing flock to the public fountain with their pitchers on their heads to draw water. Tho night spent here was a memor able one, for, scarce had we retired to our tents when a small army of big mosquitoes came down upon us and laid seige to our persons, nor could we drive them away till morning called us forth to begin another day's journey a day during which we rode through part of the valley of Esdracion, crossed the Kishon, where Baal's prophets were slain, ascended Carmel to the supposed point of sacrifice, where we spent some time in trying to reconcile the Bible and our guide books, but failed, when putting the latter in our saddle bags and taking the former in our hands, we continued our explorations. Here we met Prof. Mead, of Andover, engaged in the same work of exploration. Leav ing Carmel, we rodo across the plain to Haifa, where, after bathing in the Med iterranean, we passed tho night under wet tents, and on borrowed beds, as our baggage mules on crossing the Kishon had their feet taken from under them, the baggage upset and thoroughly soak ed, as some of my things to-day testify. Reflections of a Murmuring Mother. I was tired of washing dishes ; I was tired of drudgery. It had always boon so, and 1 was dissatisfied. I never sat down a moment to read, that Jamie didn't want a cake, or a piece of paper to scribble on, or a bit of soap to mako bubbles. " I'd rather bo in prison," I said one day, " than to have my life teased out so, as Jamie knocked my el bow, whon I was writing to a friend. liut a morning came when I had one plate less to wash, one chair less to set away by the wall in the dining-room ; when Jamie s little crib was put away in the garret, and it has never come down since. I had been unusually fret ful and discontented with him that damp May morning that he took the croup. Gloomy weather gave me the headache, and I had less patience then than at any other time. Uy-and-by he was singing in anotker room, " I want to bo an angel ;" and presently rang out that metallic cough. I never hear that hymn since that it don t cut me to tho heart ; for the croup cough rings out with it. He grew worse towards night, and when my husband came home he went for the doetor. At first he seemed to help him, but it merged into inflammatory croup, and all vraa aoou over. " I ought to have been called in soon er, said tho doctor. I have a servant to wash the dishes now ; and when a visitor comes, I can sit dowrymd entertain her without hav ing to work all the time. There is no little boy worrying me to open his jack- knite, and thero are no shavings over the floor. The magazines are not soiled with looking at the pictures, but stand prim and neat on the reading-table, just as I leave them. " Your carpet never looks dirty," say weary-worn mothers to me. " Oh, no, 1 mutter to myself, " there are no little boots to dirty it now !" isut my face is as weary as theirs weary with sitting in my lonesome par lor at twilight weary with watching for the little arms that used to twiue around my neck, for the curls that brushed against my cheek, for tho young laugh which rang out with mine, as we watched the blazing fire, or made rab bits with the shadow on the wall, wait ing merrily together for papa coming home. I have the wealth and ease I longed for, but at what a price 'i And when I see other mothers with grown up eons, driving to town or church, and my hair silvered over with grey, I wish I had murmured less. Quicksilver. Tourists who visit Sunta Cruz watch with interest tho process of collecting quicksilver, of which there are rich de posits. Tho process of reducing the ore, or rousing the latent mercury from its sleep of a million or so of years, is very simple. It is burned out of house and home, or its dull old body perishes by cremation, that it may appear in a glo rifled form, to shine and serve in athous- and beautiful ways. The ore is put into furnaces, each holding fifteen thousand pounds and having in one end the fire, which is kept up tor about three days. The vapors from the heated ores pass from tho furnaces through small aper tures, like pigeon-holes, into condensing chambers, on the cool walls ot which the globules of mercury form and glide at onco to tho floor, where they collect in littlo gutters and flow out into troughs which convey them to an iron cauldron, from which they are transferred to the wrought iron flasks in which they are sent to market, lvieh flask contains seventy-six and a hulf pounds, and is worth forty dollars. Young and curious tourists have been known to attempt to carry away a thimble-full in their pockets, and have con fessed to having at once felt a singular tickling, trickling sensation, usually passing like a streak of cold lightning down the right leg and into the boot. As is well known, one ot the most curi ous properties of quicksilver is its capa bility of dissolving or forming amalgams with other metals. A sheet of gold-foil dropped into quicksilver disappears almost as quickly as a snow-flake when it falls into water. It has the power of separating or of readily dissolving those refractory metals which are not acted upon bv our most powerful acids. The gold and silver miners pour it into their machines holding the gold-bearing quartz, and although no human eye can detect a trace of the precious substanjes, so line are the particles, yet the liquid metal will hunt it out and incorporate it into its mass. By subsequent distillation it yields it into the hands of the miners in a state ot virgin purity. A gracious manner wins tho populace, A California Confidence Game. Says the San Francisco Bulletin : There an inspiration in the climatic in fluences of California that excites the faculty of shrewdness in the human character to the highest point, and when this trait inclines to an erratic tendency, it usually develops rascality of an in genious and artistic order j none of your sneaking, pocket-picking, contemptible artifice, but dignified and majestic ril- lainy calculated to command the admi ration and reverence even of its victim. A few days since a gentleman arrived here from New York city, and coming from that locality one would naturally suppose the visitor was thoroughly edu catedn all the deceits and deceptions ever conceived for entrapping the guile less and unsophisticated; but he had never travelled in San Francisco before. Entering one of the street cars on Wednesday afternoon, he was casually drawn into conversation with a venera ble gentleman of clerical garb and mien, who took a seat beside him. As the con versation proceeded, the reverend gentle man disclosed that he was the pastor of a fashionable congregation in the neigh borhood of New York, and to complete the singular coincidence, ho was sojourn ing at the 8imo hotel with his newly formed mercantile acquaintance. On this information, tho intimacy between the two became confirmed, and on re turning to the hotel, some hours of agree able intercourse resulted in an agree ment to visit Yosemite, in company, previous to returning together Eastward. It was early in the evening ot the same day the merchant and the clergyman had resumed tho comparison of tho ob servations of life on tho Pacific coast, in the sitting room of the hotel, when a bright, intelligent-looking lad came trip ping in breathlessly and addressed tho utter : " Oh, papa, can I not go to the theatre, just for once ; it is Maggie Mitchell from New York that is per forming here, and I want to seo the theatre only this time. ' iNo, my son, replied the grave and reverend parent ; " it would bo improper for me to accompany you to such a place of amusement, and I could not consent to your visiting the theatre unless under the protection of some friend." I he mercan tuo gentleman from New York bethought himself on this sugges tion that a couple of hours Thespian di ver tisment would relieve the monotony of the cveninsr. and immediatelv favored the inclination of the lad, kindly tendering ms protection and society. " Well, my son, remarked the solicit ous parent on this proposition, " since my friend desires to attend the theatre, I have no objection to your going in such company, this one time. lhe engagement was immediately as sented to, and shortly after the merchant trom .New York and the delighted son of his esteemed clerical friend started on their way to the Metropolitan. The two had proceeded but a short distanco when the lad suddenly stopped and re minded himself of an important precau tion. " I must go back," he said to his companion, " and leave my watch and money with father ; lor people are always sure to get robbed in San Francisco." lhe earnestness ot tho lad aroused the apprehension of the merchant as well, and on returning to tho hotel he also insisted on depositing his watch, a valu able gold chronometer, and a pocket- book containing $180 in greenbacks, in charge of his clerical friend. The latter hesitated as to tho propriety of accept ing the trust, but finally consented on condition that the merchant from New York should take his receipt for the money and watch, which was duly drawn ana delivered. The two again set out for tho theatre. much moro at ease concerning tho secur ity of their valuables. It is needless to remark that Maggie was Bparkling and captivating, as usual, and tho New Yorker was deeply engaged in the in terests of the play. His juvenile com panion, however, manifested a greater appreciation ol peanuts . than dramatic talent. Tho lad finally started for another pint, and did not return. His guardian became alarmed, and hastened anxiously to tho hotel to make inquiry! Tho missing youth was not thero, neith er was the pious and conscientious pa rent ; and more singular still, the clerk had never received any formal intima tion of the presence of such reverend gentleman among the guests of the house. The venerable gentleman had probably wandered off in one of' those fits of ab stractedness peculiar to clergymen of that class. V hen he returns, tho gcntlo man form New York has his receipt to cover the property, and ho will probably preserve it as a precious memento mean time. California Coffee. Before many years California will be come one of the coffee-growing countries of the world. The Saucelito Herald says a party of Costa Rican?, with a former president of that country at their head, have purchased a tract ot land near San Rafael, and among other em ployments designed to be followed by the colony is that ot raising couee. Coming from a country where coff'oo is raised with success, these Central Amer icans ought to kuow some of tho requis ites ot a country tor the business Whether San Rafael is the spot to begin the new enterprise is said to be doubtful until demonstration has determined the question, but that there are parts of the State in which coffee can be grown has long been believed. The southern part of the State has many places whore the experiment may be tried with hopes of success. Still it is not impossible that San Rafael, and other places in the middle regions of the State, may be adapted to colwe culture. A few years since the general idea was averse to the possibility of crowing oraneres in any but the southern parts of the State, but actual demonstrations have proved that they can be cultivated as tar north as Chico, and in several of the gorges of the Sierra Nevadas. The capacities of the country are growing year by year, and the apparently bold experiment of growing coffee near ban Rafael may be uasca on superior judgment. Facts and Figures. Six thousand men and boys a day patronize the New York public baths. Sturgeon Bay, Wis,, has shipped about 8,500,000 native evergreen trees this year. A grain elevator of huge proportions is in course ot erection at Usage Mis sion, Kansas. The prairies near Ellsworth. Kansas, are enlivened by the presence of about 45,000 head of Texas cattle. A farmer in West Fork Township, Monona Co., Iowa, planted 113 bushels of black walnuts, and they are growing finely. According to the last coubus, there ore in the United States five millions of chil- dren, of school age, who never attend school ! The city of Springfield, 111., has brought suit against the churches in the city for the taxes against them for the year 18 1. The Chicago woman who married a man in jail, brags she is "the only girl in town who knows where her fellow stays of nights." Capt. Pindar, of Southern Florida, - has ten acres of pine apples ; he expects to realize for the patch this year the snug sum of $20,000. Eight hundred and eighty-two thous and pounds of strawberries were ship ped to Chicago over tho Illinois Central Railroad this season. A Kansas City widow rejected a suitor tho other day. The forlorn lover re venged himself by gotting the widow's little son dead drunk. A snake bit a man in Atlanta, Ga., and then immediately bit itself. The man was living at last accounts, but the snake expired immediately. The Houston & Great Northern Rail road, by a late decision of the Texas Supreme Court, acquires title to many millions of acres of the Texas and pub lic domain. The report that there was but one daughter ptill living of any of tho sign ers of the Declaration of Independence turns out to be untrue. Two daughters of Elbridge Gerry are still living in New Haven, Conn. Arizona has "2,000,000 acres of public land, but a small portion of which has been surveyed. In addition to mineral territory of untold richness, there are vast quantities of magnificent grazing, agricultural and timber land. The Nevada Legislature, in granting charters to new railroads, declares that no Chinese shall in any way be employ ed upon the road, either in constructing or operating them, undor penalty of forfeiture of all their privileges. A gentle school-madam in Minneapolis flogged a boy an hour and a quarter, using up several ferules, and finally re sorting to a stick of wood. Even bal anced justice obliged her to pay a fine of $20 and costs in consequence. A number of soda lakes havo been dis covered recently, twelve miles south of Denver, Colorado, lhe grounds com prise sixty acres, and the water and the soil together have nearly thirty-three and one-half per cent, of sulphate of soda. It is a well-known fact, that in many portions of tho West and Southwest, cer tain grasses retain their succuleucy and nutritivo qualities during the whole year, and stock can be fed on them to as much advantage during the cold months of winter as during tho season when the grass seems freshest and greenest. California papers say that a strong tide of emigration has set toward Oregon, a great majority of the emigrants being respectable and comfortable farmers from the Western States, who havo sold their old homesteads on favorable terms, and are attracted to Oregon by reports of cheap lands, productive soil and abund ant crops. Two maiden ladies in Louisville were very much shocked the other day whon they bsorved a young lady in a neigh boring yard dig a deep hole and bury an object carefully shrouded in. white cloth. They at onco notified the police of their suspicions of foul play, and tho body was exhumed. It turned out to be that of a lamented cat, and tho sus picious spinsters jvere hooted by the crowd. An amorous Detroiter tried to kiss en unwilling fair ono last week, but she became angry and bit his cheek. Ho attempted to return tho compliment, but the pain of the bite was so intense that he fainted, and the wound has since so festered and swollen that the surgeon has decided to burn the flesh with saustio and treat it as he would the bite of a mad dog. Both the biter and the bitten belong to the first families in the city. It would seem as though a man's board at least were his own peculiar property, and that he had a. right to dispose of it whon and where he pleased without bringing upon himself any great amount of trouble. Nevertheless, a man in Evansville, Ind., lately did incur a deal of trouble by sacrificing a luxuriant beard which he had worn for years. He went home after his wife had retired and she screamed and went into hyster ics, on which the man s own brother ap peared and fired a pistol at him, and then knocked him down. Next day he could not get a draft cashed at the bank, and was even threatened with arrest for endorsing it with his own name. He thinks he will let his beard grow again. Those little money-making specula tions known as suits for breach of prom ise of marriage are still successful enough to induce persons of the female sex who have no better uso for their affections to invest in them. There was a case at Westminster lately in which it appeared that a venerable but ardent lover of threescore years had become tho deposi tory of the tender feeling of a gentle maiden of twoscore, but ho concluded that she was too young for him and de sired to give up the priceless treasure ; but no, he must keep it or pay for it a curious commercial transaction, by the way. She placed the damage at $5,000, and the court gave her $375,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers