II
H.H.. FBAZIFLR, Publisher.
VOLUME 11.
guointo gitedoq.
JOHN BEAUMONT,
WOOL canntrt, Oath Presser. sad Idartnhetaxer, at the cdd
stand !mown as &MON Cantina. Machine. Tema made
Novo what the watt Is tootle )t,
J coup. 11 art 1 663. •
Dn. G. Z. DBIOCK,
PYISICIAN and SURGEON E, MONTROS Pe. Ms o
IEI street. onsessite the arroesacez Minos. Boards at
!eerie'. : one.
Montrose, Ferrous Mh,1%5.-typ
C. ?L CRANDALL,
1111 - AITIVACrIttRER orLlnen-wheela, Wool.wbeelo. Wheel.
ILL twat* Clotk-roola, ke atc. Wood-oangtor ttone to order. d
In the neatest mama. lumina pad Sh Wheel Factory lo &Ayres'
Yourdry Banding, tip Calm
=Owe, January SOth, 186.1-11
R S. BENTLEY, JR, NOTARY PUBLIC,
MONT ROBE.
nn KES Ackhowledgmeat of Dm* Mortimer, ka. for. any
Errte In the Melted States. Preston 'Vouchers red ray Cer-
Mfailes ,corn eled.red before him do not merle, the certificate °file
Clerk of the calm Montrose, Jen. 4, IbM,
CHARLES HOLES,
riaguaca nr CLOCKS, WATCHES, AND JEWELRY
Repstring done at mai, Short nut. romonsble Onus
Shop on Con aide Public Avon. In F. B. Chnndler's boon.
Mont :vet. Fa.. Bow. 7.1961.
Dn. B. L. HA.NDRICK,
L„FT,..... and 81:1 &OXON, respectfully tenders his prof%
elooal wote= to the citirens of rdendsville uid eldnlly.
,02.
In die oftles of Dr. Legit. Boards at J. Ficaforda.
Fileudeville. July 97. 1864.-tf
E. W. SMITH,
AITORSEY it 00IINISELLOR AT LAW and Licensed Claim
Azert °ace crvez L. Drag ocar.
suvuenanna Depot Jarman 23. 1854.
H. BU RRITT,
D NAL= tet ata i g ua t Taacy EWA% CrilebA7zll.ll.
(A ron
I 134 :Ana OW. an Pea,. Baa nd oes, Hats
red (Apo, sruk Snlalo 'am (le d ixerles, sProaisi aSh
loaA AA •
N.. /Mord. R. Axil 11„ 1864.-11
H. SAYRE & BROTHERS,
AIiIVFACITITEMIS of litllezallnia, Coatings of all thada
Stamm, Tb and Snout Iron Warr, Agricultural Implements.
an Dealcn In Dry Gooda.Orxerlea, CrouturY.
Montrose, Pa., February 51,1804.
BLLLINOS STROUD,
..... e
s
rums LI) LINZ /ABU E AGENT. Oft" In Lath.
r mem building, eest and of 11 Block. 111 Us atroanco, but.
bees at the „glee ill be by C. L. Brown.
Id on an... February 1,1664 . —t[
J. D. VAIL, M. D.,
• ifrOXIMPATEI2O PHYSICLIB, has permanently losattO
himself to Montrose, Pa. whets be will promptly attend to
111 calls in his profeallon <nth which he may be favored. (l
end Residence Won of tbe Court Home, near Bentley &Pitch's.
Ilantroon. rebury 1, 1.361,-Oat. 11361,
A. 0. WARREN,
TTORNIIT AT LAW, BOUNTY, BACK PAT and PIN
Job, SION CLAIN AOKNT. All Penslnn Clnitna carefullme
. °ea, roomformerly occupied by Dr. V•II, NW: H. v aybuildbig. below flairlois Mo!.
llonbrom 11... Feb. 1, 1.464.-febliyl 18$8.
S. 8. ROBERTSON,
MAIM MOTIIRMIS of SOOTS& si-I.o2r.skiti.
Chreito Street, licaurose, PL.
klantrota, January I% 1864.-If
CHARLES MORRIS, •
"GIASHIONABLE BARBER and HAIR DREAMER, end*.
17 B. Weetrfa Shoe Store. Rooms, Hair Out ttets.„ Shampooing.
Shaving, and Whisker Coloring done to the BES r STYLE. Ls.
ale.' Hair Dressed to the most APPROVED FASHION.
Montrose. Sept. R. 1063.-tf
LBWili KIRBY & E. BACON,
BEEP coastantly oa bend a hall moody of every variety al
GROCERIES and 00eilrECTIONERIES. By strict /Wen
1. to busluma and fairnesaln deal, they hope to merit the ith,e)
o(the public. An OYSTER and EAT/NO SALOON le
attar Led to the Grocery. where b brains, to ammo, an peeved In ev
ery style that the twdes of the publledem.d. Remember tie
the old Mott Grocery read, or Mate Street, below the PmroMee.
Montroae, Nov. 17. 186.9.—mchr1,63.41
Da CALVIN C. HALSEY,
PIiTBIOIAI9I AHD SURA3ICOI4, AND EXILVINTIVsuitI suit
for PENSIONERS . Ohs over Lt. Cars of J. Loon.
rat Son. Public Aram Basra st Mr. 111.14ite•s.
• xce.trose, October, 1224.-tf
D. A. BALDWIN,
ATTORNIT AT LAW, and Amain, Bo n a • , and Back PI7
Amt. Greg 13end. Bananaluram OnuntY. Fn.
(Matt 9 cad, August IL IfTS.-17
BOYD & WEBSTER,
15 6 A.LE13.8 in Morey . _ Stony Plpe, 71n, Copper. and ghee
Iron Ware; also. Window Snob, Peinel Doors. Window
Blinds, Lath, Pine Lurober, sod all trod. of RolMort Materials.
Tit Shop sown of elearle's Hone/. and ennl>notn , Shop on. the
Kethrklian Chard,
llonrrnoe. P. 3.0017 1. 1864.-tf
Ds. JOHN `F. COBB,
reavnuomtaxed SURGEON, respectfully tenders Masorete.
to tee Miter. of Susquehanna County. Haulm[ had shout ■
oreser erperlenor in the United SLUG, Are,. as Surgeon, especla)
attention will he elver to SU it.GICA L OP 6.II.ATIONb.
HP - Malden= on Maple Street, Ent e,f S. Tarhell's Hotel.
MOrarcee, Beau. County, Pa., June 21.1W.9.-tf
DR. WILLIAM W. SMITH,
• SURGEON DENTIST. Office over the Banklng
.1116 011 Ice of Cooper-A Co. All Dental Operstlon
will be performed lo hie turoalgood etyle end
Irerranta.d. Remember. °Mee formerly of R. Smith &Soo.
kiMnrcse, Jamukry 1, 1884„—tf
E. J. ROGERS,
itrANUFAU 0 RER of all descriptions of WAG
LIR ONS, CARRIAGES. SLEIGHS, /to., In the
being:Ole of Wwlroooodtip and of the best materials,
at the well mown =rid of E. 11. ROGERS, a few rods east
of Searle'. Hotel in Montrose, where he will he happy to re
ceivt the calls of AD who smut anything in his Una
Montrose. June 1.1E43.-tf
BALDWIN & ALLEN,
CALLERS to PLOITEI, Salt, Pork, Isiah, Lard. Groin. Feed
D
thmdles. Mover and Timothy Reed. Also GROCERIE.S.
raf,h as Swan, Molures, Syrups, Tea and Coffee. West side ed
Public Avenue, one door below J. Etheridge.
Montrose, January L 1664.-tf
DR. G. W. BEACH,
PHYSU7AN AND SURGEON, having pennonently tented
never nt. Brooklyn Getter. Pm.. tendon Ws profeaddOnal SET
rem to we attune of kluseplehnuns County. on to ma mammon,.
ate with the time& CM:caplet the offee of the hte De. B. Rehard
aon. aNI hosed. at EDI. Itichardeolis.
necklet Omit?. Pt— June 11.1904.47
F. B. WEEKS,
DRACTIOLI, BOOT AND SHOE ILLKEZI3; biro Dealer It
A
Boot., Sham Leather. and Shoe Finer. ne. Repairing dm.
CB, neameas arid dlamdeb. Two doom above Searles lute.
Montrose, Jammyy L, 1884.-Lt
JOSEPH RICE,
NtA NITTA OTIYESR and DEALER In CIURF Bedsteads,
aad l.'s blues W. 6hop tour milts caw of New =ford
Bonne,
Rev Milford. October 1,1661-0
DEA PATifiCE. & GARDNER,
TSICLANB MAD SURGEONS, will attend tslttesdly and
IL Punctually to allbutneutbst may be eat:mated to thell eate.
termscommeucarate arab Me time, Diseases mad deformlLl.
or the ". Botgittl , tperationa,tmd all Beretta Dblesaes parttco.
aril. attended to. Ofene over Webb's Btore. Mice bour.from Ba.
et to a p. tn. E. PATRICIK. Jr..
IL out:mm.l.l:w 1. 1811L-tt E. L. GARDNER.
Wit. & Whi. H. JESStI',
A TTORICATB AT LAW, Warw.. P. Practice tr
Itootroec. Pa. J
l Su
GA hums. Bradfo
anuary Idrd. Wayne, Ma. , Wyoming and Lonerne Counties.
ALBERT CHAMBERLIN,
nLSTILIOT ATTORNICY AND ATTORNEY AT LAW.-
", Otace over the Store f wraerly occupied 1.7 Pod Brot
Montrose, Ps-January 1, 1.860.
J. LYONS & SON,
IS&LEB.9 IN DRY 410011 S. GroorrimOroelrery, Hardware
l'inwure, Boots, Melodeons, Pianos, and all kinds of Susi
c.: tantrum:lents. Sheet &taste, &o. Also carry o the Book Bind
Me bonne -111n all 11a brand - As. s . Liall34,
Slontxuse, J,mary 1, ISI4.
=xi
ABEL TURRELL,
DPALEN IN DIMJGS. eIINDICINM GIIEMICALB,
Palma, 011 s. Dye-stun, Varnishes. 'Window Giros.
Liaeore, Grocerien. Crockery. Olearmire, WWI-Paper. Jew
s In% Fancy Goode, Psrfomery, Bergh: al Instrutoeuts.
CIoaA Grog" Agent tor all of the moat_ popte
ler Patent liscllcinea. Montrose, Jima., I, IPM.
C. 0. FORDLIAM,
ILFAIMPACITURER.of BOOTS SHOE% Sfoarrooo, Pa.
„In.
Shop over DeiViit & 401 V. All kinds of work inntle
order. and zepablog (Wm natty. Work &me tam wain.
Wed. 11f:stir... Awn 2.1661.-tf
CHARLES N. sToODARD,
DIALER in BOOTS .1k SHOW, Le we,.aa plod.
N. l t n ir'nest eni r, l: 4 l.'n'onter d .'S'n e d
idoutrnse. No.. liamnbcr id. 1660.
B. IL LYONS .& CO.,
DMILLERS InDRY GOODS.BROD - BEIM Boon. Ruovs.
Late' 004 m, Comma, 011 olotha, Wall and Wine.. Pa
pet. Paints. OVA tic More oo the out dile of Palle Avant.
•1. LiOda, • • • • J. D. LTODZ.
•
Blinantoe.Jeatory 1. 16454.-tf
READ, WATROUS, & FOSTER,'"
EALIfEtI IN DRY nOODS. Efedidnee. Pout!, OM
D
Ottctuitt. Hereva e, atockery. Don. Clocks, Watcher, Jew.
girt. Sayer Spoons. Perfumery. it, Beek Block. Mootrote.
E.O.FOITZIO
110 ;;;e. January 1. ISO.
•
PHILANDER LERE.S,
VASRION4BLE TAILOR.. Brick Block, crn& asso,l
Warn. & Postorla Store. Moutrore, F.
liuutrove, Pa., July 21, 1660.
JOHN GROVES,
VAIMIoNARLIS TILOR. fillop oppOlaillbe Ttrinb
-2: liCul Liteal9 Printing Wine.
I -
*annum. Pa" October 23, 1633.42
D.A.LYONS,
nutaza Dr! 41[1041. Chocarles, ClOCkern
Sore= Mit *reek
...9.h.ros Dm* frabiman'
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TO BE BEAD TN STYE MENTITES.
Moonlight evening—shady grove—
Two young people much love;
Heroine with groit wealth endowed,
Hero handsome, poor, proud
Truth eternal--hearts united—
Vows ar ratelees passion plighted;
EiEOCS---quarrele—sighs—caresses,
Malden yields one ot bee tresses;
Obstacles to be surniounted,
Happy hours pass by uncounted,.
Ugly rival, old and stale,
Overhears thcktender talc
Morning in the East looks ruddy;
Beene—Young lady's father's study
Hero, with his bat In band
Comes her ditto to demand;
Angry parent storms—abases—
And at once consent, refuses;
Malden faints beneath the blow—
Mother Internedm—Mo go;
ehrieks—hysterice—protestations,
Mixed with old man's execrations,
Exit lover midst the din—
Ugly rival enters In.
VOL. ILL
Time—A moonlight night once more,
Scene—Outside the lady's door,
Lover, with half broken heart,
Swears he'd rather die than part.
Garden—flowet—umbnignous shade—
Vanly accents—ee.renade.
Chamber window opens wide—
Debut of expectant bride;
Little dog most kindly mato—
Tears—rope-ladder—llight—pnrault--
Gallant steeds—toolate—night's semen—
Triumph—mania '—Grenta Green.
(aid rhea's Mown" forever—
Ugly rival—scarlet fever.
()Id man slekly--sends for child—
All forgiven—reconciled;
Young man making money fast—
Old man's blessing--dtes at last.
Youthful couple move probate—
Get the money—live In state—
Family mansion—jewels, plate.
Mother's wishes crowned with Joy—
Doctors—nurses—little boy.
Time proceeds—heir ties endear—
Olive branches year by year.
Bleesinp on the good attend—
General gladness—moral end.
One would not guess they bad ever a difference In
their Brea, Just to see Mr. and Mrs Puffer jogging
along comfortably together in the same straight.
backed green wag,on,drawn bythe same pumpkin-sad
milk horse which took them home on the first day
of their honey-moon ; or, if not the very same horse,
one precisely like it. Neither wOuld one think it to
see them of a Sunday—he In skftblue swallow-tidied
coat, and she In her invisible green satin bonnet,
sailing off like a tugboat towing a fail-rigged schoon
er, be being exceedingly spare, and she being ex
ceedingly portly.
And yet they once came as near dissolving Into
twain again as one flesh ever did. No one knows of
it, however, except Counselor Sabin and I ; and
now, if I tell it to you, you are by no means to re
peat the story.
Long and long before Mn'. Puffer was a fluffy old
woman in caps toad spectacles, when she was It,
stead a plump, apple-faced girl, with eyes the color
of whertleberries and skin the color of milk, she had
a way of taking to the youths of her acquaintance—
s way of which, I discover, she and her coevals by
no means secured the monopoly; for truly as I
write I see, nndtr the elm tree by my window, a
maiden, in a line of descent foil two generations
later, standing idly enough swinging, 'her parasol to
and fro, and smiling up from under the green ribone
of her joeky as Innocent and artless as a damask
rose; and 1 know, as sure as can be, that every
careless wave and motion is to that boy beside her—
, a being' with hair parted behind, shining with oil,
and with uo beard worth naming—as the twisting-of
a spider's web around a tender-hearted fly.
But I do not pity his wtakticsa In letting a bit of
blue-eyed calico sway him back and forth as lightly
as she does her spotted-handled parasol, because I
know they are only playing at a game of tee-saw,
and years hence Master will be up and Miss will be
down. Then it will be my lady's turn to fetch and
carry, while she believes a tender word and smile
makes amend for everything.
"Punctured by pine and tortured by fears," yet I
rejoice in hie panes and doubts, for the lime is brief
enough. ru warrant me that be plays the mouse
and she the cat in' their story. So also lam glad in
my heart for every prick and torment the whortle
berries and milk wrought upon Puffer's callow heart
while he was away back In spencers and soap-locks;
because I am positive it was alone of his man's des
postisnt and love of self that I have this story to
tell.
-
There came a time Of course when, having carded
and span and wove her twelve dozen of everything
after the manner of olden time princesses, this
plump, white-faced girl, dressed in muslin, heavily
embroidered by her own crafty fingers, and further
decorated by a wreath of apple-buds and wild myrtle
apon her Lair—which was of itself like a whole bush
of whortleberriers—in the presence of admiring wit
nesses, was made Mistress Puffer by a dignified,
venerable clergyman, who lived in the times when
ministers were Mat men Thus her marriage had
the grace and good omen of being a ceremony
_in
which solemity and sanctity impressively mingled.
And Mrs. Grundy, who by no means confines her
self to camp and court, affirms there never bad been a
wedding in Northumberland which promised better;
though the wretch took core to add, with a hypo
critical sigh, thatgtlliNd beginnings make sometimes
sorriest endings, 'Me wretch was right too, as she
frequently Is In a measure, for of a truth th e heaviest
tempests sometimes come convoyed by remarkably
bright mornings,
The mother of mischief Is no bigger than a
midge's wing; and let me, who am an old bird, tell
you, young aspirants after the holy sacrament of
matrimony, a little secret worth a dozen of love
powders and magic potions. Never for any con
sideration, as you value your domestic
mate by word, look or gesture, that the lord of you
—modest man—is, may, can, mud, or will be in the
sarong upon any,pnasible OCCaSiOII. Believe hearti
ly in the perfection of his attributes if you are able
to . ; such annihilation of your judgment and common
sense will make you more comfortable, doubtless,
although it is not totally essential. Appearance,
howeihr, if not the reality, most certainly is ; there
fore, in either event,..dic and give no sign. Uolor
ttmately for Mistress Puffer, but fortunately for the
story, she lived too long aro to have the benefit of
my large experience and ready benevolence, and so
of her own knowledge she must find'.
SI/rings 'and summers and autumns and winters
have followed one another in monotonous level each
bearing its burdens of cares and labors; house
cleaning and planting; butter and bay-making, har
vesting and fruit-drying, sledding and sewing; then
the same ro'md of toilsome duties over again, until
Mistress Puffer was o Wife of en many years that she
had long answered to her matronly vame with no
more Washings and sweet shyness, than though she
bad been born to it; until she Went on making her
Soap and cider apple-sauce with aedateness and unc
tion es it she . had always regarded there common
places the destined sPhere and elected end of wo
man, (as may be she had,) and as If she had never,
no, never; in her wildest days, gone from her cham
ber to ajnerrynoiking by way of window and ,shed
roof Instead of the stairs; being, you see, too gen
erous tO disappoint hgr fellows, and ton thoughtful
to run any risk of disturbing the repose of her pa.
rents, wino, themseites no longer young, had a
straight-aced notion that everybody ought to be
sleepy by nine o'clock. '
Bat all this tithe while she vas growing matter-of
fact and portly, in the midst of the battings and
brewings, the washings and mitchinge, a little cloud
no bigger than a mans hand had arisen In her hor
rizon, and Was einsily uverepreadlim the zenith.
At least not much bigger; to be explicit, it was just
the size and took the form of a milk pail.
"1' with husband, you would not milk in the
strainer mil. I don't think It 18 a neat practice, W
eems dirt is liable to get.into the stmlner in that way
Besides, it isn't necessary; you can milk in the other
pall and pour Into Mitt,' ast ad well for aught eee,"
said Mistress Puffer. .
Possibly Mistress P. had a fault so, it was the
fault of saying too much. 00 the other band, pos
sibly Mr. P. ad a fault; if so, It was the fault of
sayfng too little. One might think that, virtu the
case of the distinguished eaters, Jack Sprat and his
wife, these oppoeme, imperfections would }prove
ID ightily harmonloos4wtheir tneetino; but not so.
Talicing too little Is the twain, though lees op
pressively tiresome, I think ,fraught more heavily
with evil; for if one trill not speak how is onto
know wherein and wtiereforo an offense Daises ' and
basks to make due apology and reparation? Bo
while the; talking partner is rattling on in all in
nocennccee,, tho silent partner is brooding over some
nn allp of the tincomadons tongue.
Thus his wife had, no means of knowing whether
ornot 31ePuifer haft soy reason Pr preferring to
ilk in thestndnerguill. Pc y he had • one wigcb
ovXI Wm+t impliccint exitck tOp 134 . 44, who Ira
A NOVEL
EME
ME!
ECM
—London river.
ALMOST DIVORCE])
Alas how easily things go wiong"
" Freedom and Right against t , 3lavery and Wrong."
MONTROSE, SUSQ. CO., PA., T UESDAY, APRIL 11, 1865.
by no means an unreasonable dame. But being,.
like his fellow-beards, mightily autocratic, he con
sidered his, doing It should be sufficient proof of
the-desirableness of the thing; although, being, like
them, also fallible, this was hot always a test; and
the, dame, who was a woman of common feminine
sagacity—l claim no more—knew it.
Therefore the pall came In nest evening bearing
the what unmistakable indications of having been
within the forbidden palings of the stable: but not
accompanied by the grace of a simple apology,
which so casity—especially wcmaanward —covert',
like charity, a multitude of shrs. Now von and I
know that if Mistre s s Puffer had not attained to a
sufficient degree of sanctification so that she took
he offending pall with a heart as serene as summer
orning, as toubtleas washer bounden duty, yet she
o S ht most surely to have taken it with a saintly
smi e, °Jetty to bare done the hest she could
toward inalailbad better with a cold strainer. lint
you remember her besetting fault was an overflow of
words, so, not,content with having entered a re
monstrance,
.she must need cuttr another. Still Na
apology or reply, but a look of stolid indifference
upon the countenance of her legal head, which pre
sented as much expression as a pair of tongs or an
iron-table. So, detecting no sign of attention, the
dame added l ine upon line and precept upon pre
cept, until at last the legal brad getting exasperated
out of his defensive and offensive silonoo—as you
have sci•n Musquitoos drive a dog from his corner
—opened his mouth, and, In a voice no smoother
than oil, spoke to the elicit that a milk-pall wan a
small matter to waste so much breath and feeling
upon. The tone more than the wo-tia, came like a
dividing-knife upon Mistress Pu ffe r's last sentence,
leaving one-half forever unsaid, and the other halt,
which would bear dwelling upon and repetition no
better than any other was stings, constantly ring
ing In her cars. She left sini•what blameworthy
and sell-disgusted for it is rare indeed that any act
shows oat quite without a flaw ro the actor, when
in stern and conscientious review: but neither did
She love her husband very much for half a day.
Al , ! what, Indeed, in a milk-pail to waste feeling
upon! What, in Itself considered, was the tilt of
fruit plucked and eaten In the Garden centuries ago.
For my own part I must say I never saw any in
consistency in the quarrel of children over a grass
hopper as sufficient ttret cause for the Shawnee and
Delaware tribes meeting in deadly combat that is,
if any object is worth fighting for. It Is the princi
ple of the thing, don't you sec' And, It a person Is
disagreeably h.rlfined, a clover blossom or la cambric
needle may serve to show up his naness as well as
anything.
Not being then socially impelled by quite the
usual warmth of an allectionati• feeling toward her
husband, mid conscious til•ii, that she had alr e ady
said too much, Mistress Puller entered here upon a
long-projected and often-attempted reform. She
did not 'Mk notch f. ir tied days: and the partner of
her sorrows, Inferring that she Was sulking—upon
,
one of 11. • rare occasions Is lion he Mc,' contiden•
tial—told her so. This misconception did not tend
to a healthy healing of the wound and, long atter
it wits apparently closed and forgotten, there re
mined vet a pain and scusltlveueas where it had
, been
ilarinz shown yen whence the elond arose, and
In wh.tt manner the first rain fell, you 1 . .1n Imazine
how It tettterett down. drop by drop, into the pelt•
Ine s comfortles. shower.
" I've been thinking, perhaps, yon wonld be trill
as happy by yourself: you with yonr things and I
with mine. I can't seem to nle,.> you nohow,"
said Mr. Puffer at last, in a passionless tone.
Just as thong' he had ever tried to pieose berl—
as thong' he had ever had thought except to mould
her, and everybody else with whom he came in con,
taut, into a ftwoalmile or himself, angle for angle,
hump for hump, wrinkle fur wrinkle. Titough, an
for that, this is only what we are all continually
trying to do, more or less, to our fellows; and' joy
to us that we do not spoil the world he succeeding!
These cold-blooded words, from which every drop
of manifest feeling hod been carefully wrong hefor^
leavi"g, the heart, fell with paralyzing
weight upon Mistress Puffer's 'ruin; but in the
midst of dumb despair and self reproachful misgiv
ings, she wee almost frightened to reel a ee rb a l e re .
lief. Now they were likely to be loosened she per
ceived how heavy and galling they had been; those
chains which err ot rose, a n d titles while they are
welcome, and of nnwrolight iron as soon as we
weary of them.
"1 think you are right, I think we shall lie hap
pier apart," replied Mrs. Puffer, otter ten minutes'
silence.
Tple woe Cite first time in a year the husband and
wife had been fully agreed, and it wve the Imginning
of better days. Courage! The sunshine Is coming;
hot before we nee the bow of promise there mast be,
to bring out Its vivid bri4litnicmi, a cloud of exceed
ing blackness.
The day wore on; the husband husked corn, and
the wife darned his stocking+, and pat new sleeves in
to hie old shirts, because, poor min ! there would be
no one so do these things for him hr-and-by. At
evening, when the fire woo cracking up the broad
block chimney, and a blaz!ng pipe-knot wan flooding
the low wainsrot.•d kitchen with homely cheerful
nes+, throwing off sparkles of light from the piled
up pans upon the dre+ser shelves, and making the
duet-pan, Mowing on Its nail behind the pantry
door, shine like a first Arlass Kn.l-nonr; when dog
lay curled upon the hearth, a brindle mass of em
bodied comfort, Mr. Puffer sat mending a harness
at one side of the pin, kuot, and Mrs. Puffer sat at
the other knitting a uew Leal upon a defective sock.
There was an appropriateuess in the accident of
sitting separated by the brindled Bost; for the dog
family had been, indeed, ono of tee chief promoters
01 domestic schism.
Mistress Putter, as It haPpoied, [bated on cats and
detested dogs, while waster approved of dogs and
despised cats. So that it always 101 l out, the play
ful, purring kittens which misiresa possessed her
self of and /cred with all her heart, invariably disan
paared, euddeuly and untimely, like Ihueheard'a
wives; while a great lazy elution of a dog perpet
ually fattened .and grew insolent without let or
hi:lt:run , . being always eating, always underfoot,
awl always barking distractedly at passing travelers.
The group sat thus upon the evening of that fatal
day, waking a pleasant picture of domestic happl
; but out, alas, that was not founded upon
fact.
'• I've been thinking whether or no Liwyer Sabin
wouldn't be tip g.iod n looel as we can got to help
about dividing np the stuff," paid Mr. Puffer, pres
ently, trying ; to put a wa.x.en end through an awl
hole.
" Yes, I should call him as good a I.BoiCe 89 any.
He is a man of excellent judgeueut and prudence,
and he Isn't of the telling kind, who would be likely
t o bleb all the pal ticulara to everybody," replied
Mrs. Puffer.
This was the second point of agreement.
Then followed a long silence, filled gray by the
crackling of the tire, the heavy ticking of thegaunt
eight-day clock, and the snorlog of floa,e. It was
not mail the clock had liked half an hour from
time into eternity that the good man spoke again.
"I calculate it will be yonr best way to take your
part and go up to your brother's William will be
glad enough of you for a housekeeper, Inc he has
had to get along alnioat any way since his wife
died."
" Yes, I expect 1 an h.. a help to William," re
pli4 d Mrs. I'., for the third time harmonizing.
" But what do you lay out to do for a bonse
keep-r
"Wall, am counting on making a shift somehow,
with mother's help," returned Mr. P., drawing up
his waxed thread.
Now the motlpir woe an Infirm old body riot
over neat or tnergutic at the be=t, and Mrs. P.'s
huart le.tcan toewell woh pity ; but of course it was
not for her to object or dictate, so she only knit the
butter, linowinu well thero - woutd be non• tietul.
'• I want to finish out ruy corn tomorrow. What
suppo,ing we rlde up to Bahln's the day after and
scttle up the matter V" stergested Mr. Puffer, when
the clock struck eine.
"Two, four, six. eight, ten," responded the dame,
counting her stitches. " I don't know but that time
'4 RI suit me as welt canny. I have been laying out
to make up the tininess to-morrow, and then you
need a new frock, you know; but I guess I can
fetch them both to.morrow."
There wag a ramie of sadness In her tone for she
was morally mare Mother Puff,v would let the pre
s”tves mould or ferment or come to ruin In some
unbousewitely way; and she was thinking, too, of
the rags to be In the blue woolen frock. But then it
was not worth while to show any such feeling; so,
just to tetify to her lighthearted Indifference, she
begun to sing softly to herself while she bound off
the heel ; mean time the husband, from his side of the
dog. could but cuurcgs that the sound of tier voice
as touch more 'musical than his poor old mother's
asthmatic breathing.
The next morning Mr. and hire. Pnftcr were astir
long before light, fur they had n busy day before
them. Yr. Kira bunked out his corn and ate his
meale, 'which happened to be of his favorite kinds of
fund, Ids usual heavy thence; and.lim P.; well I
am afraid Met. P , though she bustled about with a
gerat show of cheerful activity, mingled a few pity
ing tears With the beef brine she with scalding, and
even went so far as to pat Bose once or twice, and
feel a thrill of affection for him In hew capadona
heart when he looked up with a wag of delight.
But the busy hours of the October day hastened to
spend themselves, and quite too soon the old skele
ton clock pounded out nine of the evening again.
"Do you lay oat to be ready to go to the Bqulre's
to-morrow," asked Mr. Puffer at last, finding Mrs.
Parer woud not speak, according to der wotit,iand
Lava him the trouble of opening his mouth.
" suppose so," returned that lady reluct
( "WS; " 4 rather thought whether or no I
shouldn't :manage to spin Up that little handful of
rolls into stocking yarn' then the ',tack 'vtllegs!
ne [ cdu ilrettleKtrl.t; I wed do finppOse your ,
. •
flannels ought by good rights to have an overlmul
lug ; but somehow the time has slipped away, anti,
haven't seemed to accomplish haU I meant, to. Tho
fact Is, there is always something to be done In a
house, and I don't know bull mu as ready 451 ahall
he. Your mother will keep up things 'Met beat/she
can, I have ho doubt ; but the poor old lady Is hith
er wbeisy and shaky, and She can't do as. she could
•ace."'
Aa a reply was not strictly necessary, of roam .
Mr. Puffer made none, bat there anus an answerbig
" Amen" deep down in hie heart, which wee the
fourth time they two had foil:la a point of sgthe-
Mcnt .
That night Mistress Puffer could not sleep for
thinking how everything In her well-ordered - house
would go speedily and surely to ruck and ruin on
der the thriftlessness of madam the mother. Neith ,
er could master sleep for thinking, selfish goal of
the same. But I will do him the bredit of admitting
that, mingled with personal bewallings, was a de
gm, of pity for the slavish toil which awaited his
late helpmate at her brother a house, where there
was, besides, a possible etutnee that she might be at
any time supplanted by a nes
Bo upon the next morning the husband and wife
drove over to Counselor Sabin's In the high-backed
green wagon, with the pumpkin-and-milk home,
heartily agreeing, fifthly, in pity for each other..
" Ye-es, ye-es! As I undo Band it, yon two wish
to divide your Mint possessions, and go each your
way, without any pubic fennel divorcement. Wa
al, wa-al ; let us see! let us see !" said Squire Sabin,
referring to a paper which hoped already filled with
minutes. "Five cows; whtit will you do about
them ? make beef of one,and divide thorned, hey!"
No, I would not consent to that. It is mY
cholee ; he has three cows ; he will find more use
for them than I shall, being that two cows make
nothing of a dairy by themselves ; while my share,
Ise it less or more, will work right in with my broth
er's," put in the good dame.
"I shan't agree to any seen division. If I find I
need more cows I can by them ; and I am not will
ing that 'he should go away emptyhanded. She
won't end she has got any too much to make her-
self comfortable with the most also can have," re.
turned he.
Ana thus they began to disagree again.
"I am willing for anything which is fair, but I
shu'n't consent to such a one-sided dividing off us
he speaks of. I mean to take a reasonable view,
and I went he should do the same; and he knows,
if he looks at the matter canuldly, that he will find
more use for three cows than I shall. So there is'
no good multiplying words about it, for I shu'n't
come hack of what I have said '." protested Mistress
Putter, resolutely
ifirinph! If you can not agree to live together,
you must agree to separate, rut know," Interposed
the lawyer, who testifies that contention of mutual
concession may be as difficult to settle satisfaetorily
as strife of mutual disagreement.
Silenced, but not convinced, Good-man Puffer
held his pvace hereupon, while he inwardly reflected
that the Good-wife could cot prevent his driving
this hone of contention—the third cow—over to her
brother's .barn in due season. So be allowed her
face to glow with fattened triumph without any fur
ther protest. But passing down along Squire Sa
bin's list, the swine proved quite at , unmanageable
in their turn as the lune.
I have no notion of taking the fat hog and 0110
of the little pigs. What can I do, I should like to
know, in the drat place, with such a pile of meat?
And when you have fed that porker up to this time,
and thought so much of him, I sha'n't hear a word
to taking him, any way. Now that is so!" affirmed
the Good-wife.
On the other hand the Good-man was equally de
cided. Venter couldn't try up the tat into lard and
take care of the meat, if we kept It; and the pork
is worth as touch for her to sell as it is to me," he
said
"Ye-es ! Wa-al, I would suggest that, as you two
can't agree even to disagree, you make a comprO
mho. Mrs. P. had the matter of the cows her own
way; suppose, then, Mr. Puffer suits himself in
the pig question ?" Interposed the counselor,
mending his pen for a fresh start.
o. Come, now, that is no more than lair I" assent
ed Mr. Puffer; although, of course, the arrant hypo
crite was all the time conscious in his inmost
hart--and outmost, too, hn ; tbat matter—that he
bad never for a moment intended to abide by the
decision of good Mrs. P. in the last dispute. There
in you see a silent partner has the advantage in an
argument; (or good Mrs. P. herself, having no pow
er or knowing this mental reservation, was obliged
reluctantly to concede.
Thus, Inch by inch, and animal by animal, they
fought their way through the live-stock ; and com
ing atter a tedious while to the personal property,
found thst to he even more refractory
4 ` He must have two bed-quilts and two pairs of
sheet• to my one. I shan't give my consent to any
thing else; his mother is getting too oli and feeble
fnr quitting, weaving, and such work," affirmed the
Good-wife, with cheerful benevolence.
" Of course I shan't take her setting-out, and she
needn't propose it !" protested Good-man.
Mrs. I'. opened her mouth with a face which
evinced a burst of words as clearly as ever a black
cloud betokened a burst of rain.
" Poo needn't say a word for nor against. I tell
ou I won't hear it, even If you run out a case as
long and as strong as the Mond Law !" added her
lord, with unusual tervor.
" II.m•m! yes-es! Wa-al, my advice to' you two
good people Is, seeing you cannot agree to separate,
to get Into your wagon end ride home together,'
said wise counselor Sabin, at last, cleaning his pen
apon his hair and twisting the paper of minutes In
to a cigar-lighter.
The good people were finally persuaded to follow
this advice which proved the soundest he ever gave ;
and pay iug the price of the fatted swine for It they
clambered Into the high-backed wagon and rode
off, with joint feeling of conscious relief, yet too
shamefaced to speak the whole distance home.
When they arrived there Base came running to
the cud of the lane which led to the house to give
them a gruff bark of welcome, Mad Mrs. P.'s heart
warmed with pleasure. She even stopped in pat
him and call him a nice fellow upon her way Into
the porch iu full view of Mr. Puffer, who felt
fal to the very tips of his callous ringers for thtri::)-i
-wonted token of friendliness, while Bose jumped and
frisked awkwardly around Whining with delight.—
Then she disappeared through the doorway into
the kitchen ; and when she saw the homely room
sad its furniture looking so kindly, as they, in their
w a y, gave mute welcome home again to their mis
tress, she sat dowmin her old Splint rocking-chair
and had a hearty cry. Then she brushed away her
tears, which were by no '.'sans bitter ones, and
raked open the very coals upon the stone hearth
which she covered so carefully before leaving the
room forever, as she believed, hong the tea-kettle
on the crane, and drew out the table for supper.
So when the husband came in from unharness
ing the horse, and feeding the cowls and pigs, In
st.:ad of the dreary stillness he had bargained - for be
found the room ailve with warmth awl eheerfulnesa.
The fragrance of new-mads tea, mingled with that
of stewed peaches nod broiled beef, which sputtered
a pltasant sort of accompaniment, to the bumming
rap
tkettle; while the Good-wife, with a satis
face, was putting a pinto of smokingshot flapjack%
buttered, and sugared, and quartered, upon the ,
table, and singing as blithe and light-hearted as a
May bird. To tell the truth, the weak-minded wet
min bad been actually kissing, with tears in her
eyes, the clumsy old rolling pin, which, from its
rough finish, had been to her like a thistle in The
shoe for year..
" Well, wife, this seems like getting home again
after a long journey," said Mr. Puffer, after warm
ing his bends and his heart also at the blaze, and
looking shout with a smile upon his taco which
quite tranetlgured it.
Aud so it was. Madam the tnothnr came inde ed
with her asthma and palsy, but it was only to sit In
the maid chalr. and warmest corner. A hungry
gray cat appeared also very mysteriously, which
31 AIL Puffer tried at first to drive away, but Width'
Mr. Puffer treated like Vice, which snctt bad Oft,
first endured; then pitied, then embraced.
So having found betimes, as many a married pair
has found too late, alas I that howeverdlfficult union
May be, disunion Is still - more dilticult and hazard.
on., they have jogged up and down - so comfortably
together that; to see them.• now one wcruld never
stove; as I said at first, they had been of diverse
minds upon any subject.
MT When General Sherman was in compumditt
Be"ton Blanks, $t Louts, he was in the habit of
vieltiog every part of that, institution, and making
hlmseLf famithr with everything that wag going an.
lie wore an brown coat and a " stove-pipe hat," and
was not generally rem:gated by the minor entomb
or the sublieni. •
One day while walking through the grounds he
met with a soldier who was unmercifully beating a
mole.
Stop: pound! that mule!" said the General.
" Git eout !" said the soldieri in blLssful. Ignorance
of the person to whom, he was speaking.
"I t e ll yam to atop I" reiterated the General. •
"you mind.yourbuslness, and mind' tete,"
replied the soldier, continuing los gala uyeentent,
upon the mule.
" I tell you again to atop!" cad the Ekmenii.. "Do
you know who I am?. I 13:11 General Sherman."
."That's played out," said the aoldier; every
man who comas alont .horo with;an old tuyao coat
end.a moye-pipe hat on, dams to be Glint,Wigierr
man."
It is presumed that for once Gerleral 131rermen
considered himself puttianked.7-.Tfur2.r's ,Iragorete.
"Bee here, Blether;' Said. an MI , lad
seven manias, who was treed by it:dogi yolk
dan't tete earn deg wash VII ewe no year apple:),
I:o;pu4o(o,l[o4lkgs4:ll:lAskpipuseizi
The ShtmeseTwlns have been !cot from public
view for the last few years. It was well known ,tuf
them that they had married two sisters, and settled I
down near Salisbury. in North Carolina, on a will
stocked plantation. In addition to this, they have
ample funds invested through their agent in New
York Through a North Carolina medical gentle-
Man, now within our lines, we had the other dey an
Opportunity Of Minnte entire!' particulars In missed
to them. Ever since the war began, they have con•
tinned to reside on their plantation, and liver in the
same quiet and harmony as ever until within two
years. Of comae no one ever thought of drafting
than, and their negrocs prospered, except that when
opt of temper from any cause, it was apt to work it
self off in stalking the that one that came to hand,
from which the best escape was to keep out of the
way. 'Tian brothers Probably never would hare had
'any difficulty, but that their a ices though sisters,
turned their hearts away, and their children were
- the cause or this estrangement.
Up to the period that each had five children, all
prospered well enough, but one of them had a six :h.
end this awoke envy and jealouky to , u , .11 an extent
that the two slate's, not being boned tegetior like
the twin brothers, would no longer live under the
same roof, though, we believe, still indifferent
es on the same plantation.
The brothers are now, It seems, about fifty years
of age, bat one, we believe, the smaller and feebler
of the two, looks, it Is said, now fully ten years old
er than the other. They can turn hack to Luck er
face to face, but that is as far as the remarkable bond
that unites them permits. It Is almost certain that
should either die the other could not survive even
for more than stew minutes, as there Is an artery as
1 large as the Immoral artery that connects them.
A few years since they corresponded with some of
the leading surgical operators In London, as to the
possibility of the umbleus which unites them being
cut, so that in case of the death of one the life of the
other might be saved. At the request of the Lon
don gammons they visited that city, and many ex
periments were tried to determine the safety of n
each an operation. Among other things, a ligature
was tied firmly fora few minutes round the counce
lion between them, so as to prevent the circulation
of blood through the artery. But it seemed a. If
each would expire if this were longer persisted In.—
Thesmaller of the two fainted away and lost all con
sciousness, and there were symptoms that the name
effect would follow to the other, hut that the pro
ctors could not be continued long enough without
endangering the lite of him who was first to faint.—
Should the smaller and feebler die, it might be worth
while making the experiment of operating, but the
prospect of prolonging the life of the other would
he very small: Should, however, the larger and
more healthy of the twin brothers die, there would
seem absolutely no hope of saving the feebler of the
two.
From all this It is evident that though the canner•
lion between three two brothers is very remarkable
and perfectly unique, it is yet not so absolute as bar
been usually supposed. in the American Cp lota.
din, for instance, it is sniff that "their resttinv ion
and circulation are generally synchonns in the intim
state, and their mutes of sleeping and waking, thei r
joys and sorrows, anger and pain, Ideas and desire
are the same. They rtallze the idea of perfe,
friendship, the two beint one, and each one two in
thought sod act." An to ttleaa being the same, this
is by no means more necessarily no than their simi
lar education and habits would , WeN6ioll. Each one
can bold conversation with a different person at the
same time- One does not necessarily know, there.
fore, what may be communicated to Use other, al
though their fedlinge and passtions arc generally
owing to the same entices operating upon both.
Even this Is not necessarily the case, especially, we
suppose, as to the degree of feeling. -
Since the breaking out of the rebellion. they have
both dressed in the Confederate gray, and they are
both members of Cie same church, having united
with a small Baptist church In their neighborhood,
of which they have been considered very worthy
members.—Philadelphia Ledger
A KINGLY FABLE.
jThere is .story told of an ....v. - saunas
moral or which may tie well applied by all sover
eigns. The old monarch, when dying, called Is:,
son to him, put in his hands the scepter, and asked
it ho could take advice as easily as he had takes]
from hie father the symbol of authority. Tne young
heir, grasping the scepter tightly, and hinting at the
exosltenee or brevity in his counsel as well as In his
wit, said, ender the circumstances, he could.
"I will be brief as my breath," answered the all.
dleating monarch, "and that is short enough. You
look upon the world, boy, us a house of pl.msure:
now, hear better from me Woe, my lad, tom
'toles inpalifolls, and good lurk is only distilled in
drops.'
The son looked down on Lis now silent father,
and (bland he was dead. The new 'king commanded
a splendid funeral, and arranged a grand ountleg
party the day after. He laughed at the paternal
simile, and to publish its weakness and his own fe
licity, he canoed to be placed above his palace a
large silver bell.; a rope passed from it to each room
he occupied. •• I will ring it," said he, " whenever
I feel thoroughly happy. I have no doubt 1 shall
weary my arm and deafen the people's ear," For
a month the bell was silent ' I Isere had my Laud
on the rope," said the king, "fifty times, but I felt
that I was hardly happy enough to proclaim It to
my people; bet we hays gotorer our first difficul
ties, and to-morrow- -
On the morrow, as he was boasting of the fidelity
of his ministers, he learned sisal Isis friend and t•er
rant was In the habit of betraying his private (Ifs.
ratchea to a neighboring potentate, from whom the
traitor received stars and crosses, in return. The
king sighed. "We shall not, then, toll the bell to
day, but. assuredly - to-morrow."
In the morning he rude over to the Louse of the
mistress of his heart " There," he rem,srked to
himself, as he went along in that pace which flied
to be observed by the pligrinis of Canterbury, and
which in England has taken Its name from two syl
lables of the city's Ilataa—"Thew 1 ha , a lien Cr f Ruud
disappointment." What he did find lie never toisl ;
but on his return to the palace, when his groom isi
the chamber looked interrogatorily between him
' and the bell rope, the monarch simply twisted the
latter Into a noose, and angrily muttered as he dung
It down again :
" Would to heaven they were both hanging from
It together."
On the following day he philosophically reviewed
bis case.
..r have been unreasonable ; why should f grieve
' hems:pet have been betrayed by a knave and Jilted
by a girl with golden hair" I have wide dominions,
a fulltreasury, a mighty army, laughing vineyards,
verdant mtudows, and a people who pay taxes as It
they loved me, and God's free air to breathe in.
may bo happyyet," added he, advancing to the win
dow; "nay, I am," and he reached his hand to the
rope. He was on the very point of ringing it aiHs a
go od will, when he saw a pest without and heard a
voice within which made bins pause.
A messenger was at Lis feet "Oh, sire ''' exclaim
ed the bringer of bad tidings, "Anon treat the dust,
the dress, and the gleam of arms without. The foe
has broken In the land, and terror Is before him,
and devastation behind him I"
" Now a curse upon kingship, , that brine, a
wretched monarch evils like these !' cried the Libg
who wanted to be happy.
The courtier hinted Boniething about the miseries
of the people. "fay that Lady of Hate, whose ehoreit
Is In Brittany," cried the Prince, " thou art. right.
I thought to pull tastily at the bell, but I will as
lustily at the sword its my sheath, and cc,' If
thereho not vihne in that. flow came in the foe,
and who command's them'.""
The answer to this double luery told him that the
enemy could not have entered had not his dispatch
' es been betrayed to the Invader; and that the van
of the army was under the command of a prince,
whose name was no sooner uttered to the king than
he exclaimed: " HD, then 1 shall ring the bell yet.
I'll have his life and the lady—"
He said no mere, bdt'went ont;fonght end cleared
their:mint the foe, bong the traitor with Rattle hon.
omen 61.10, and returned In triumph. He had so
much to employ film on Lis return, so much to med
itate upon for future accomplishment, that when at
night he lay down upon hia couch, weariness upon
his brow, but a shade of honest Joy upon his cheek,
he bad fairly forgotten the !diver hell in tits turret,
' and the ropes thus depended from it.
And es fie grew grey end infirm, never turning.
from his worktill the Inevitable Angel looked amt
tingly In hisface, and began to beckon Mut away.
He was sitting op in lila easy chair, s pale sin
dealib.th,
but still at ble ministry, till his ey grew dim,
head sunk upon his breast, and without was a sound
of
" Mat voices are those?" coked he softly ,
is there. yet for me to do?"
Hit Chancellor stooped over him as be now lay
on :Scowl.; and softly whispered :
"Our : father Is departing from among us, and Ilia
children are at tiff. threshold in team."
" Let them come fa . 0 Godi do' they really love
me 1" cried the Mng.
"U there_ was all to be purchased here. 0 wor
thy,..aire, they, would purchase thine with their
blood."
The crowd streamed silently in to look once more
onikegood old king, and to mourn his departure.
Be stretched out his band towards thern,and asked:
Have. won pint love, children, have I won
yatelOveir
Ottemniversak affirmative reply, gken from the
etrlhough:glven with soft expreaelon, seemed to
ow upon the dying monarch new life. lie rattled
plopuit,on ton couch, looked like an inspired saint,
ene'ittefl:to yak, bet failed. in the attempt, lima. 1
the less happy, he glanced at the ttmet where hung
the bell, extended 111,, hand to the rope, gave one
pull and died with a smile on his Ilps;as he rung
hia own knell.
A SPICY INTERVIEW.
Cm the arrival of General Sherman at Savannah he
saw a large uutnher of British liars displayed from
Ift - 111[1111ra, and had the Cnriosity to know how many
ltraish eonsnh, there were there. lla noon ascerf
talued that these 11. gs were on bundlers where cot
ton had looen stored away. and at once ordered It to
I.e retied. Ana, It r!or that, when the General was
busy engage 4 at his headquartens, a pompons gen
tleman walked in, apparently in great haste, and
inquired if he was General Sherman. Having re
ceived an affirmative reply, the pompons gentleman
remarked, " list when I e h•ll his residence United
States trohps ere enraged in removing his cotton
from It, when It was protected try the British flag."
"Stop, sir," said Gon. 6:,eruttiu, " not your cot
ton, sir, hat ety eotton ; my cotton in the name of
the United St at. (ht‘ernment, air. I have notlefed,"
contfaued Genf rat Sherman, "a great many British
flats here, all nrt stint rott,tl , I hays eck/-cti It all
in the name of Inv govcruntf at."
"Rot, rir," raid the ronstil, indi2nantly, "there
is scorcoly citsv cotton la diarsunala that does not be
long to
"There ht not a pdtind of cotton here, Fir, that
does not tatiung to m., fur the United States," re
',panted ttneriton.
"Well, iir." .aid the coesul, swelling himself tip
whit n,r ditnilV of hi. 141 1, .. nit reddening In the
in szovt•nam.nt. huir ^t %lila. I shall
rett..rt yoor cotalti,t to my government, sir."
".11a! pray, nr • tan,, .Ir "• sold the Groeral
" roodul n, her B , tub Nlateaty, air."
"Gil, he! re-pundeil the General, "I hope
you nih mi• to your government. Ynu will
please to NAT to your government, for me, that I
have been ti t zlitine the Ern!hell government all the
way from the ("iio river to Vicksburg, and thence
to this point„Nt every step I !lave encountered.
Brn,lsh arms, BroiO, goods el every description, at
eyttry step, air. I list, hem, ' in all shapes;
ntiri now, Fir, tied von cl.iiining all the cotton, sir
littitend to call upon coy trownineut to ortiernie to
Nits-ati at idiee,"
" \Vhct , 10 you plopose to an there?" asked the
connl, taken somewhat aback.
"1 would," retitled the General, " tali° with me a
ytwntit of picks and ...bowls, and throw that cursed
aiind hill into the sea, sir, and then I would pay for
it, sir—lf necessary. Good day, air."
It 13 E1e.,11,52 , to add that 'General Sherman was
not mz'aM tronb'..d by the ofli ious representative of
bar mab-sty's tr.vernruent.
A TERRIBLE DUEL
A few ears a , : New-E,gland gentleman,
whose min.,. •• Brien, was passing a few
,1:,e4 in , ne nt nor W , •.t , •111 ettb.S, he had the mislor
tune, to.i,t• ntionally, to olL•nd the susceptible
Inn:or ol n ntel, who nn. on, of his
tt How bos-eerp, Ills apothzica not brine
r), a f no: scut h. him, which, however,
n‘• ti, c wed, hum rtl pit S. The
Cuionel, r.. 0, the e had won In two or three
encounter , clefts a reputatioa as a duelist, at once
,oneeived I.ut his opponent was a coward, and re
sot, d dhsfracc lulu, to th, I.tee Of all the assem
bled wisdom of the lam-e, e ,-ordi n gly th e nr ,d,
day, at Mom:mime, in marched the duelist, armed
with a cowhite, and 11.(1',111 , 1111: to BrOWS.Ce
proceeded to dust Id•J.clo.t In the most approved
style. Brown Was rooonitoied Luckily, he had
been lieutmiant of rabitia in his native thatt.., and be
knew the hoptik..m, of facommodint; his enemy
by a diversion. So .ruin{ a entry tureen. he toss
ed the C011 , (T.15 1101, the tare of the bellhterent
Colonel, oefon lie could reeoser from the
drowning u.:.1 . on thus occasioned, he aprartz np
Oil the table, to shower upon him with a
hheral the , on! alc of the dishes around.
" You ere an inter...l--
the C..lohtl teas about to Ray, hut
at that I , lnt , ' :truck full 11p011
his mouth, and the word eas blockaded, lost tor.
" Ila n, ,irsl ths N.. , v-EnOsnder, ,n , .oa
vru3 now up, "fond of ,rreu,s, are you ? take a pu
tut°, too ." hnrl..d a t clang volley of hard
potatoes at Hu,
" Excellent U":Za here, capital with mires head,"
and era,t cam, a j fate ut so' , boiled eggs against
the ride of his rr
Olows u.1.11,7b told hitherto de•
.•11.1 shouldvrs,flow
bezan t 'II,ION , W• ,11,:y a: .1 iidly, and It tweame
the i the 114.....diant, 1 , 011 ktnuneil, r holied, and
pa tic i!y blinded, w.te. g - ettitig 1.111.1 worst of it. Ills
courage We 0,7i11.4 . out.
"Take a turkey t" shouted Brown, as a noble old
zoblnur de,cended luirly upon the colonel's bead,
and bur-don% b b d 111. 11,dr and esoe uitw &WOW ,
~ !41`1!• . " I, Ibe fringe be COMIL
uod. the and Ily followed after.
By tt is ;line MO W.: , irretrievably defeat
ed. and 10 , opponent setred a huge plum
pudding, steaming not, and holding it above his
head with Utah boots seethed to bury him beneath
it. Ti. aoied w it ksreer, ;;nd throwing down his
cow hide, turietil about and made a rue!) for the
door.
t• Stop for tie pudding, colonel, stop for the pud
ding " ll di I not escnpe Irom the ridicule which
the off tu it.odont ti. H. etithdspiently elisfleriged
four PC1,01,4, I,4llitilt wheel i- ire was particuldrlv
ex e itce, ~• .1 ; al; eioi-eu. to ii.ttg, but availing
t'uertnielves rut the privilege of .1
the ehrtilenged party,
appointed pudding trigs for their weapons. At
length the untutp te duelist, finial, no one willing
to shoot or he . I ./! at, was obliged to quit the
State.
Ton FlttOnTtst Way.—Same twelve yearn ago,
Napoleon, hid., was eriebta , nd for two things, one
lor the ear,ruei 14 pr..pn0.,111., of its citizens, and
the °Myr 1 . ../r tun:: zreat noinhpr of Prove made In
vteindy. It a; peArr 111-1 t Itu Etstern collect,.
had etoppe.l at Da} tin to sp:nti the night, and got
some IV , .eau ''l -espe•tic..t Ala l'ature Conroe.
During the evr-I.lng he beraine acquainted with an
old drover, who appear, it well posted as to the
geogrepiv ft - !1. , e.d. 'fly. atdi the .etllt etor thought
he titigat a et! rceird to the best route
to eArt ri it a hi, to fit,tined.
"1 wth to go to Greenfield," said the collector;
"now who ,iOf test war
.• vdr," sant lac drover, "you had hitter go
to Nanol.ton and take the road leading nearly
north."
The tr..o.'.inr noted it ill, n
our, If I wi-h to v., to Ed tnhurg
"Then go to Nupdleo.. H,ll fake the road west."
t• R"•.1 I a itt go to Vernon'!"
"It to N.lrn l on and It
. • thn road southwest."
"(o. erldnd the collector, eye
ing the Crover aid thinking he was being
Ito itoa , l on.
"Ito ro Napoleon and take the road northwest"
The t.illecifir looktil at los note book; every dl
rection 11.,1 du on ; I.e began to feel his
mettie ri-c, and he turned once more to the drover
a kb—
'•tiupp I \sant,...) to fzo to the devil?"
Thy dmv. r nt•Vvr irit twratehed hia bend,
and tift, i litomour• heoititton said :
Wtnl, uty th.ar itir, 1 don't know Of any shorter
road )ort coo .1 take than to go to Napoli:mt.".
A To , L.O armor.—Slephanson; a country store
keeper, a , as one day if.) lug to e•ell doe a pall' of peg
sed boots. The old man gave the article °flared a
lair vxationntLin, and it..tduf not to parabola.
"Nt, Raid t.lt• 0t,,m.0n
" Yea, very nice boots, ' oak, Joe,
affom 'em."
" Why they see 14.4 cheap as they make," Bald
dtephenson, old) two dollam."
"Yea, only 1 don't keep any hired man," return
ed Joe.
" Hired man ! vffrat do you want of a hired man?"
asked Steplaatamt.
IY, t , , 1 Nhould want a hired man 11'1 bought.
them ho 1-," raid ,fur, I I. eve tWiztira: up with
even a I. comical leer than usual ; " the last
pair of Loma 1 had yet etty near ruined me,"
" flair was that ? ' n‘di , d r.ttephouson
" Why," id Joy, "all the time I wore them
boots, 1 had to tai. , Iwo nom with me with ham.
ntera, oan on , iit side, to nail on the Soles every
tWin 1 filial any leer,"
The en, keeper mode iu more enrla to all
boots to ten:.
;;;Ze - .\t 11, , the 011,..1- erertoe ono gentle
-111511 P0111{"li OW a Cin:1101I Individual toe frtand
as a 6C11ip1.31
Valalt. " mud. lilt fs told, " aw,b. a looltiog chap
413 that a setd,ttor c Surely you mast be intotaken."
"Ile may not be the hind of one you mean," said
tho Informant, .bnt I know that ho chiselled a
tallorout of a cult of elothas Scat week."
"shat.
A HIST TO CLP.nOTatEii.—An auditor at a funeral
once remarked ;
" Mum ate mlnl6ter licpt saying,
' They servant
the deconsed,' had I thouht of what a lying, cheat.
Mg man Mr. N--had-been, I couldn't help won
der who the nalnlzter ato praying to."
Tin Lola Soup R unfLrl . Silence! 'ileum hi
the Court," exclaimed au IrOtated judge at a ca l m.
keepiv; La .t arata,troua that, you will'uot
Faience? This very morning we have decoed
11,;(10aell amigo, and net. Ward oes N o nn !sr
-
waraNi=a2=
11)2.00 per anntuni in. advance.
IiZIIOIIODIVIRIA
Corroporsdence qr therlwk)m&tgtßeprbiA:!en.,
1014woulhizOlpoi:Emill:uppi):MI
LISLDQUASTEBA 2D PA. VET. dye t
Dep't of Bermuda Hundred,.Va, March 20.-lIIOD. f
EDITOR REPUBLICAN : Presuming that a word
from this port of the army will not be amiss with
some of the readers of . your worthy_peper,
send a "few thoughts as they occur„ ' hoping they
will meet with your approval; also, unit "green
back.” wbieb I herewlttteneloae, with "request, that
you forward to my address the Jima/ton until each
time as the above mentioned " green-back". will
have been expended.
The Rims/kr/who been a welcome and quite reg
ular visitor while I have been in the army, but as I
am on duty away Iron the Battery; I do not see le
as soon as I would wish to, and although I havenow
Lets than rIE months to serve I cannot well part with
suet, an old and well trled friend, format to letters
Le the Repuhlican In importance.
At present every thing remains quiet along the
front, which has been the case most of : the winter,
our pickets watching the "Johnnles" mid mmaldne
and storm, and they, of course, returning the cora
pllmene. But this monotony has been occasionally
Interrupted by the spastitodie efforts of the enemy
In trying to gain a " point." But all their great
efforta for the past year seem to have terminated
glorious failures. Their plan of running their gun
boats down the James, past our batteries at Dutch
(lap, at the same time attacking our lines on each
side of the ricer, for diversion, was, no doubt, camas
lated to achieve Important results—perhaps a feat to
" astonish the world." had the plan succeed-4
there is no telling what amount of damage would
have been accomplished, but fortunately the scheme
faded, and they withdrew up the river, minus a gun
boat, concluding, no doubt, that "discretion was
the better part of valor." The old adage that "a
drowning man will catch at a straw," is emphatical
ly true In their case Again they conceive the bold
idea of making a midnight attack on our pickets,
but this also proves a failure, for as soon as our hoys
greet them with a shower of Minles, they conclude
it Is host to "cover," so down they go, and all the
entreaties, curses, &c., poured upon their devoted
heads by their ", patriotic" officers fall to "Ore the
3out here Meat ;' for moat of the lighting part of the
Rebel army seem to be more - cleating to advance with
the "olive branch of peace" It their hands than
stern weapops of war. This fact becomes more pat
cut when we consider that their army Is fast going
to pieces by wholesale desertion from its maks.—
Thousands have "come into the Union" daring the
past wider, making It worse for their cane than if
they had lost thus heavily In battle. MOLT]) every
eight we hear tiring on the picket line, but It is 00
bad omen, for we know by it that more of our erring
uniiiiiern brothers are coming back to their "Fath
er's house," and that their comrades are giving them
a parting salute.
Perhaps there are some lukewarm patriots who
What this is all " talk," hut I tell you there Is de
moralization In the Rebel ranks. It Is not the same
army that disputed every Inch of ground from the
Rapidan to these lines during last spring and aunt
leer's campaign. They =neat depend anon their
most trustworthy men me videttes, for there have
been several cases on this line where a vidette had
IWO) posted s Ith another to watch his movements
where both parties would embrace the opportunity
to come ever to the "Yanks."
I lad the same spirit existed in their ranks that did
one you ago, the affair in front of Petersburg last
Saturday might have had a different termination ; for
the enemy did break our lines, capturing several
tatterhi, ; but In the sequel he lost nearly six thous
out in killed, wounded, and prisoners, while oar
loss was only as many hundreds. And the tact that
the larger portion of their loss was prisoners shows
Conclnsively that they are not as tensekma when
they gain a foot-hold as they were a year ago. It
will not be policy for Lee to break our lines often
with like results.
The great show around the doomed cities of Rich
mond and Petersburg still goes bravely on. Prepa
rations on a gigantic scale are being made for the
closing entertainment. The audience have nearly
all arrived, and are anxiously awaiting the com
mencement of the great play which Is to cap the cli
max. Bat the occupants within the fortifications of
the doomed cities refuee to open their doors to the
targe Crowds who are knockieg without. Both "
F. V.'s" and "plebeian." seem anxious eu get sway
before this large crowd of - poor white trash" from
the North force an entail / ince. But how different
their inclinations The "F. F. V.'s" take the first
train south, where they imagine their much loved
Confederacy Is In a better state of preservation than
to old Virginia; while the "plebeian?' are crossing
the lines and journeying north to,the shelter of the
tie they were led to denounce by artful designing
men : but the ruse will not work longer, " a house
divided against Itself cannot stand," and this one Is
fast crumbling to pieces.
A few days more and the guns of Sherman will De
thundering in the "Old Dominion," and the tread
of his brave host will strike terror to the hearts of
the vile men who have attempted the life of the best
nation on earth. The gallant Sheridan has inflate
ieu to the Richnsondites the part that he is to play
in the great drama. They know of his troopers be
ing between Richmond and Lvnehbnrg by the ef
fects his knocks had on their cupboards. They next
and he has struck off at a tangent making a tempo
nay base at White House. They will soon learn
that he has described a circle, for three days ago he
passed along our rear on his way to join oar left.
The movers on our military chessboard, are, eve
ry day becoming more and more complicated, but
all seem to tend, towards the "Sacred Soil," and It
is not Improbable that the great closing scenes of
the Rebellion will be enacted within the State of old
Virginia. 'There certainly could be no more fitting
place; for the birth place of secession has surrender
ed to the Union Army without a fight, and as the
remnants of their scattered armies are concentrating
in Vs. let them he taught within her borders that
secession Is a failure, and that It will never do fdr it
again to lift its brazen head within the borders of
these United States.
Stamm 80:h.—Last night as I sat writing, a furl
onsconnonade commenced on the Petersburg front,
surpassing anything I ever heard. and as the night
sue dark, the SCCIIO axe-sled fire-works 'Which are
commonly witnessed on Fourth of July occasions,
consequently all hands went out to the breast-works
to have a view of the contest. We have not yet
learned the result of„the affair. There is occasional
firing to that directilln to-day,—but if a move had
been contemplated no doubt It will be impeded by
the heavy rain which fell during the latter part of
the night, and which has not ceased yet.
Our army is well fed sod clothed, arid in excellent
spirita—fully equal to the coming contest.
In a few days there will be important and exciting
news from Virginia which will send a thrill of joy
to every household In the country; for judging from
present prospects the day is not far distant when
Peace will again unfurl her banner over our ells.
tructed country, which will be responded to by
grateful, people.
That Inch will be the speedy and happy censure
mat ion.ot this great struggle is the earnest wish of,
Tour humble servant, J. id. R.,
2d Pa. Va. Artffkry
PRESIDENT Jong Q. ADLIII3 ox TU MCIIIAL or
rue 'filAtiCUT OP OTILIWW.—When John Q Adams
waq Pre,.ideut, be watt traveling Intog through Now
York State; and never having seen Chancellor Bent,
eonei"ded to give him a calk He reached his house
quite late in the evening, and without sending, op
Lis name was ushered Into the library where be
Chancellor was hosy reading. He looked np Mole
his book, requested his unknown visitor to . be
seated, an 4 resumed 415 reading. After looking
around for a few minutes, the President addvm
the Chancellor, and the following conversation en
sued;
" I see you have a great many books here,"
said the President.
', Yes."
' I see yon Save Shakespeare," said the President,
"Lave you ever read It?"
"hat I can't
MEM
" Do you know the moral of Othello?"
" Certainly, every — min knows the moral of Othel
lo," raid the Chancellor. "Why, to beware of jeal
ousy, etc."
" No, sir you ale wrong."
i
"What s It, then?" said the Chancellor, ranch
surprised.
' The moral of Othello," said the Preoldeot. "Is .
that a white woman must not marry a black "Inn."
At a doctrine so moral, nod a moral 60 , 0T101114 '
the Chancellor concluded that his visitor was an es-'
caped lunatic, so he nut to the door, (Aland,
Ham ! William ! (his WU) come up here;' ere is • !
crazy man to my room." An soon BS Jan 4.-COnitt
Butn.lently control his 12uthter,to speak. he Intro. ,
&Iced hino.elt, and the C reaceller then had ohms
doubts as to his own sat‘lty.
•
,
Cr:unarm—A person of ati observing turn off
tninci, it ea has rode-through a country town, has
noticed bow curious youngstera along the route will
Oil the windows with their anxious feces to order to,
get a glimpse of all piano Ty. ~,t,lranYee peddler.
drove up in front of a hewn one day, and teeing all;
hands and the conkdaring from thewindOwn got
off from his cart, and the followbgr dlelogue . toolt
place with the man of the hone : - '
Jonathan—"llas there been a tancralharelatelyt"!
Ilan of the E10T190..-... No; why
Jonathan—" I raw ono pane of glass that didn't
have a head to
Dm of the lion&e—" Yon IraTe Warted qu i r k, or
there wUI be a funeraL"
IR" It Wt. plenilt to be la ecuapantirltb tellewa
'be •mO O l Abet Vettr i ngt 7't 14 •
mon