itl A a" A A A A JK''-':'n; BP i , 11 1 in m nirni v it i ii ip no wr r " i iri i i i it ai -a tti id. mi i hi is ik ir m rilr' AN INDEPENDENT FAMILY NEWSPAPER. " Sr....'' Vol. VII. New Bloomlleld, Pa., Tuesday, January 28, 1873. IVo. 4. n luloomfifib (Linus. 18 PUBLISHED EVBHT TUESDAT MORNIHQ, BT . FRANK MOETIMEE. & CO., At New Bloomlleld, Terry Co., Ta. Belli; Ina provided with Steam Power, Mid lar Cylinder and Job-Presses, we are prepared to do all kinds of Job-Printing In good style and at Low i'riues. ADVKRTI8ING KATK8I Trantlmt 8 Cents per lino for one Insertion. 13 two Insertions 16 " "Jhree insertions. Business Notices in Local Column 10 Cents per line. Notices of Marrlaeus or Deaths Inserted free. Tributes of Respect, Ac, Ten cents per line. YEARLY ADVERTISEMENTS. Ose Inch one year J 10,00 Two inches " 1 18-00 .For lonptcr yearly adv'ts terms will be given upon application. THE THREE BLACK BAGS. A HiniOEOTJS STOEY. riIIERE wore three of thorn, all ofshin I ing black leather, ono on the top of the pile of trunks, one on the ground, and one in the owner's hand all going to' Phil adelphia, all waiting to be checked. The last bell rang. Tho baggage man bustled, fuming from ono pile of baggago to another, dispensing chalk to trunks, checks to tlie passengers, and curses to porters, in approved railway stylo. "Mino Philadelphia!" cried a stout military-looking man with enormous whis kers and a red face, crowding forward, as the baggage-man laid his hand on the travelling bag. " Won't you please to give me a check for this, now ?" entreated a pale, slender, carefully-dressed young man, for the ninth time, holding out baggage No. 2 ; "I have a lady to look after." " Say 1 be you agoiu' to give me a check for this 'ere or not?" growled the proprie tor of bag No. 3, a short pock-marked fol low in a shabby overcoat. " All right, gentlemen. Here you are," says the functionary, rapidly distributing the checks. "Philadelphia, this?" "Yes, air 1092 1740 1030. All right." " All aboard I" shouted the conductor. " Whoo whew !" responded the loco motive, and the train moved slowly out of the station-bouse. The baggage man meditatively watched it as it sped away in the distance, and then, as if a thought suddenly struck him, slap ped his thigh and exclaimed " Blest, if I don't believe" " What?" inquired the switchman. " That I've gone and gave them three last fellers the wrong checks. The cussed little black things were all alike, and they bothered me." "Telegraph," said the switchman. " Never you mind," replied the bag. gage man. "They was all going to Phila- delphy. They will And out when they get there." They did. The -scene shifts to Continental Hotel, Philadelphia. Front parlor up stairs. Occ upants, the young gentleman alluded to as No. 2, and young lady. In accordance with the fast usages of the times, the twain had been made one in matrimony at 7.S0 M., duly kissed and congratulated till '8.15, put aboard the express at 8.43, and deposited, bag and baggago, at the Contl Mental, at 11.68. ' They were seated on the sofa, the black 'broadcloth ooatsleeves encircling the slen dor waist of the gray travelling dress, and the jetty moustache in equally affectionate proximity to the glossy ourls. Are you tired, dearest ?" "No, love, not much, but you are, Tent you ?" "No, darling." . tiss and a pause. 1 ' " Don't it seem funny ?" said the lady, "What, love?" .' . . " That we should be married." ,"Yes, darling." :; . ";.,' ; " Won't they be glad to see us at George's? .' . , V" . ' '' V "Ofoouise they will." " I'm sure I shall enjoy it so much. Shall we get there to-night?" "Yes, Jove, if " V . Rap, rap, rap, at the door. A hasty separation took plaoe between man and wife to opposite ends of the sofa ; randthen; Come in." An ye please, sur, it's an M. P. is waiting to see yez." " To see me a policeman ? " Yes, sir." "There must be some mistake." " No, sur, it's yourself, and bo's waiting in the hall beyant." "Well, I'll go to no, tell him to como hero." ' Sony to disturb you, sir," said the P., with a large brass star on his breast, M, appearing with great alacrity at the wai ter's elbow. " I believe this is your black valise?" Yes, that is ours, certainly. It is Julia's; the lady's things are in it." "Suspicious circumstances about that valise, sir. Telegraph came this morning that a burglar started on the 8.45 Phila delphia train with a lot of silver spoons in a black valise. Spoons marked T. B. Watched at the ferry. Followed it tip hero. Took a peep inside. Sure enough there were the spoons; marked T. B., too. Said it was yours. Shall have to take you in charge." " Take me in charge ?" echoed tho bride groom. " lsut 1 assure you, uear sir, there is some mistake it's all a mistake." S'pose you'll be ablo to account for the spoons being in your valise, then?" "Why I it isn't mine; it must be somebody elso's ; somebody has put them in there : it is some villainous conspiracy." Hope you'll be able to tell a straighter story before the magistrate, young man ; cause if you don't, you stand a smart chance of boing sent up for six months." U, Charles! this is horrid. Do send him away. O, dear 1 I wish I was homo," sobbed the little brido. I tell you, sir," said the bridegroom, bristling up with indignation, " this is it vile plot. What would I be doing with your paltry spoons?. I was married this morning, in Fifth Avenue, and I am on my wedding tour. I have high relatiotis iu New York. You'll repent it if you dare arrest me." 'O, come now," said tho incredulous official, "I've heard stories like that before. This aint the ilrst time swindlors have travelled in couples. Do you s'pose I don't know nothing? 'Taint no use; you've just got to como to tho station-bouse. Might as well go peaceably, 'cause you have to." " Charles, this is perfectly dreadful I Our wedding night iu the station-house I Do send for somebody. Send for the laud- lord to explain it." The landlord was sent for and came ; the waiters and chumbormaids and bar-room loungers came without being sent for, and filled the room and adjoining hall some to laugh, and some to say they wouldn't have believed it, but nearly all to exult that the pair had been " found out." No explana tion could be given, and the upshot was, in spite of tears, threats, rage and expos tulations, the unfortunate newly-married pair were taken in charge by the relentless police aid marched down stairs en-route to the police office. And here let the curtain drop on the melancholy scene, whllo we follow the for tunes of the black valise No. 2. When the train stopped at Camden, four gentlemen got off and walked arm-in arm, rapidly and silontly, up one of the by streets, and struck off into a footpath leading into a secluded grove outside tho town. Of the first two one was our mili tary friend in a blue coat, apparently the leader of the party. Of the second two, one was carrying a black valise. Their respective companions walked with hasty, irregular strides, were abstracted, and apparently ill at ease. The party stopped. "This is the place," said Captain Jones. " Yes." said Doctor Smith. The' captain and the doctor conferred together. The other two studiously kept apart. " Very well. I'll measure the ground, and do you plaoe your man." ... It was done. "Now for the pistols," whispered the captain to his fellow-second. "They are all ready in the valise," re plied the doctor. . , The principals were placed ten paces apart, and wort the dooidedly uncomfort able air a man baa who U in the momen tary expectation of being shot dead. " You will fire, gentlemen, simultaneous ly when I give the word," said the captain. Thau in au undertone to the doctor Quick, the pistols." The doctor, stooping over and fumbling at the vail a, appeared to discover some. thing which seemed to surprise him. " Why, what tho devil" " What's tne matter?" asked the cap tain, striding up. "Can't you find the caps?" " Deuce a pistol or cap but this." lie held up a lady's night-cap. "Look here and here and here I" hold ing up, successively, a hair brush, a long white nightgown, a cologne bottle and a comb. They were greeted by a long whistle by the captain, and a blank stare by the prin cipals. " Confound tho luck," ejaculated the captain ; "if we haven't made a mistake, and brought the wrong valise." The principals looked at the seconds. The seconds looked at the principals. No body volunteered a suggestion. At last tho doctor inquired : " Well, what is to be done ?" " Very unlucky 1 again ejaculated tho captain : "the duel can't go on." "Evidently not," responded the doctor, " unless they brain each other witL the hair brush, or take a pop at each other with the cologne bottle." " You are quite sure there are no pistols in the valiso ?" said one of tho principals, with suppressed eagerness, and drawing a long breath of evidont relief. " We must go ovor to the city and get the pistols,,' proposed the captain. " And by that time it will bo dark," said the doctor. "Very unlucky !" " We shall be the laughing stock of the town," consolingly remarked the doctor, if this gets wind." "One word with you, doctor," here in terposed the priucipal. They conferred. At the end of the conference with his priucipal, the doctor advanced to the cap tain and conferred with him. Then the :aptaln conforred.with his principal. Then the seconds conferred with each other. Finally, it was formally agreed by the contending parties that a statement would be drawn up in writing, whereby principal No. 1 tendered the assurance that the of fensive words " You are a liar ' wore not used by him in any personal sense, but Bolely as an abstract proposition, in a gen- ral way, in regard to the matter of fact under dispute. To which principal No. 3 appended his statement of his high gratifi cation at this candid and honorable explo- naiion, and unqualifiedly withdrew the of fensive words "You are a scoundrel" they having been used by him under mis apprehension of the intent and purpose of the remark with which he had preceded them. There being no longer a cause for quarrel, the duel was of course ended. The prin cipals shook hands, first with each other, next with tho seconds, and were evidently very glad to get out of it. "And now' this is so happily settled," said the doctor, chuckling and rubbing bis hands, " it proves to be a lucky mistake, after all, that we brought tho wrong valise. Wonder what the lady who owns it will say when she opens ours and finds the pistols?" Very well for you to laugh about it,' growled the captain, " but it's no joke for me to lose my pistols. Hair triggers best English make, and gold mounted. There aiut a pair of finor shooters in America." "O, we will find them. We will go on a pilgrimage from bouse to houso, asking if any lady there has lost her night-cap and found a pair of duelling pistols." In very good spirit the party crossed the river and inquired at the baggago-room in reference to each and all block leather trav elling bags that arrived that day took notes of where they were sent, and set out to follow them up. In due time they reaoh ed the " hotel", and as luck would bave it, met the unhappy bridal pair just coming down stairs In charge of the policeman. " What's the meaning of all this?" in quired the captain. - "O. a couple of burglars, caught with a valise of stolen property." , " A valise ! what kind of valise?" "A black leather valise. That is there.". , "Here I Stop ! Halloo! Policeman ! Land. lord I It's all right t You are all wrong This Is my valise. It la alia mistake. They got changed at the depot. The lady and gentleman are Innocent. Here is her valise with ber night-cap in it." Great was the laughter, multifarious the comments, and deep the Interest of tho crowd in all this dialogue, which they ap peared to regard aa delightful entertain, ment got up expressly for their amusement " Then you say this thing is yours," said the policeman, relaxing his bold upon the bridegroom, and confronting the captain. "Yes, it is mine." "And how did you come by these spoons?" "Spoons, you jackanapes !" said the cap tain, "duelling pistols." "Do you call these pistols?" said the policeman, holding up to view one of the silver spoons, marked T. B. The captain, astonished, gasped, " It is the wrong valise again, after all." "Stop not so fasti" said the police functionary, now invested with great dig- ity by the importance of tho affair he found himself engaged in. " If so be how you've got the lady's valise, she is all right, and can go. But in that case this is y ours, and it comes on you to account for them stolen spoons. Have to take you in charge, all four of you." " Why, you impudent scoundrel 1" roar ed the captain ; " I wish I had my pistols ere ; I'd teach you to insult a gentleman!" shaking his fist. Tho dispute waxod fast and furious. The outsiders began to take part in it, and there is no telling how it would have ended had not an explosion, followed by a heavy fall and a scream from pain, been heard in an adjoining room. The crowd rushed to the Bcone of the new attraction. The door was fast. It was soon burst open and the mystery explained. The thief who had carried off the captain's va lise by mistake for his own, had taken it up to his room and opened it to gloat over the booty bo supposed it to contain, thrust ing bis hands in after the spoons. In doing so tho pistol had gone off, the bullet mak. ing a round hole through the side of the valise, and a corresponding holo through the calf of his leg. The wounded rascal was taken in charge first by the policoman, and then by the doctor ; and the duellists and the wedding. party struck up a friendship on the score of their mutual mishap, which culminated in a supper, where the fun was abundant, and where it would be hard to say which was in the best spirits, the captain for recover ing his pistols, the bride for getting her night-cap, the bridegroom for escaping the station-house, or the duellists for escaping each other. All resolved to " mark that day with a white stone." and henceforth to mark their names on their black travel ling bags in white letters. Humorous Anecdotes of Horace Greeley, MR. GREELEY was on the eve of his first voyage to Europe before his life-long partner, Thomas , McElrath, heard a whisper of it. The trip struck McElrath as the very pinnacle of absurdity. Hasten ing to his partner's room he aroused him from a deep reverie over his exchanges with, " Horace, I learn that you are going to Europe." " Yes," quietly said the ab sorbed oditor, not lifting his eyes from his newspaper. "Are you going alone, Hor ace?" continuod his partner. "Yes," as before, and still reading. "Well, Horace," persisted Mr. McElrath, " don't you know that you're unfit to travel in Europe alone? Why, you'd never get half way through the city of Paris. Now, Horace, I have young friend who wants to see Europe but hasn't the means. He is young, active, and intelligent, and you must take him along to take care of you. You'd lose half your baggage before you were half-seas-over.' I never get half-seas-over," said Horace, still musing over his newspaper. The boy accompanied the philosophor, and he ex ecuted bis trust so well that the Tribune afterward sent him to Europe on an impor tant special mission. Twenty-two years ago Mr. F. Gale, since foreman of the Time$, was employed in tho composing room of the Tribune, and Mr, Greeley had a high respect for his ability, A proof was sent to Mr. Greeley In which the word wagon was spelled with two g's the great philosophor crossed one of them out, but when the Tribune appeared the next day the correction had not been made, Mr. Greeley immediately summoned Mr. Gale and remonstrated with him mildly (because he did not wish to lose the ser vices of so competent a man) for not cor recting Lis proof. ' Mr. Gale replied that the word wagon had been spelled from time immemorial with two g's, and he knew bis business as well as any roan. Mr. Greeley in a half persuasive, half apolo- getio tone, responded, " Well, you know, Gale, they used to build wagons bigger than they do now." In 1840 Mr. Greeley was Invited to tea. He was delayed by some means and did not appear until the guests had all eaten. Ho became at once engaged in the discus sion of the currency question. The land lady tried to persuade him to take some tea. He waved her off and continued to talk on his then pet subject. " Take a crul ler, any way," she said, presenting a cake battktt filled Willi these articles. He put forth his hand, took not the cruller but the basket, depositing it in his lap. He kept on talking. After a time his hand, with which he was gesticulating, touched a crul ler. He took one and began eating, talk ing all tho while of currency. He finished the cruller and began another, and bo on until all had been eaten, and the guests meanwhile laboriously restraining them selves from laughing outright. His host ess was iu a fever o- excitement. She knew that crullers absorbed in large quan tities were next to indigestible. She had heard that cheese liberally eaten would counteract their effect. The question was how to get Horace to cat the cheese with out reminding him of his extraordinary feat with the crullers. A lucky thought came to her relief. She took tho empty basket and put in its place a plate of cheese. Horace was meanwhile xpouud- ing his views ou the currency question. He saw nothing iu the change. Slowly , tho cheeso disappeared as the crullers had done, and the groat economist was saved the hor ror of an attack of dyspepsia. Horace never knew of this little episode, but tho guests enjoyed it hugely. Twenty years ago the Tribune office was heated by an old fashioned hot-air furnace sending Its blasts through wooden tubes about one foot square into tho various rooms, the quantity being regulated by wooden grates sliding across the tubes. On Sunday there was no heat uutil 'Pat' fired up in the evening. On a bitter day in February, Sunday morning, Mr. Greeley hurried into the editorial room, his hands and pockets full of papers, pulled a chair to the place in tho wall whence the heat should have come, kicked the slide away, and stuck as much of his feet as ho could into tho wooden tube. Of course it was cold aud not hot air that came out, but the philosopher was absorbed In tho Herald (not then over-civil neighbor,) and did not realize his mistake. Soon Mr. William M. Newman, then ship news editor of the Tri bune, entered, and seeing "the situation," said, "Why, Horace, what are you doing with your boots In that hole ; there's no heat on yet ?" Mr. Greeley took down his feet, and, in a half offended tone, piped out in his peculiar whine. "Now, what did you tell me that for 1 I was gettin' nicely warm." The philosopher carried with no little pride a flue $ 350 chronometer gold watch, presented to him by the Tribune printers. It would have kept accurate timo if the owner had wouud it, but that be sel dom did; and when he tried It was an even chance that ho would set the key ou the bands, and after whirling them around a dozen times think the job was douo. An hour afterward, in looking for the time, he wondered "why the thing wouldn't go." One night as he was going home, he asked Mr. David P. Rhoades, the night cituk, for $5. David handed it out, and Horace jammed it into his waistcoat pocket as far as his fingers would go. On the car his watch was stolen. The next day wheu he reached the office he told the story of the robbery, winding up with: " They stole my watch, but they didn't get my f 5." The theft was mado known to Col. Chas. S. Spencer, the noted criminal lawyer. He sent word to one of the chief "knucka" that if Mr. Greeley's, watch was not in his hands within twenty four hours, the first of the gang that should be "nipped" would got the full benefit of the law. In less than twenty-four hoars Col. Speucor handed the watch to thas tonished philosopher. tW The Creek Indian translation of the Sunday School hymn, "Shall wa Gather at the River," is very pretty. Blow. we give the first verse and the chorus.. Any of our readers wanting to learn it sq, as to. siug it from memory, can do a,:. . Uerakkon techeceyvr bake . Cesvs em estolke tullau Cesvs liket a lihuet os. , Hoyay vket nhnet os. ; .; .' . Citoni's Momoa mu teoheayrros Uemkko.hsru.icn sshMwieni Mekussp.vlken vtohjfcv liket ' PulWys inunky tortus. ' ' EC There are tw eventful periods in the life of a womaa one, when she wonders whom she will have; and the other, wUe. she, wonder who will havo her. 1
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers