GTIc rites, Nett)iI5loamftcl&1 )a. - , , Tlte Ut B. Mutual . Aid Society of Pennsylvania, Present the followlnfl pla tor consideration to Uoh persons who wish to become members i The payment of SIX DOLLARS on application, FIVK LAKH annually (or roi'B yeahs, and -thereafter TWO DOLLARS annually during lite, with pro-rata mortality assessment at the death of each member, which for the First Class Is as iuuows: , , Age mew I " ment ment Aoe Amcm merit 15 60 2H 73 16 61 29 74 17 62 .10 75 18 63 31 77 19 64 32 70 41 92 M 1 70 42 94 56 1 80 4.1 IW 56 1 2 44 08 57 2 04 45 1 00 fig 2 10 20 65 M 81 46 1 06 69 2 28 21 . 66 84 83 47 1 12 60 2 40 22 67 H5 85 48 1 18 61 2 45 it) 68 86 86 49 1 24 63 2 50 24 69 87 87 50 1 30 2 55 25 70 88 88 61 1 40 M 2 60 20 71 89 89 62 1 50 2 65 27 72 40 90 63 1 60 Will entitle a member to a certificate of ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS, to be paid at his death to Ills legal heirs or assigns, whenever such death may occur. A member, or his heirs, roav nanre a successor but If notice of the death of a member to the Hec- retary is not accompanied with the name of a suc- ccssor. then the Society will nut In a successor and All the vacancy, according to the Constitution of Hie nocieiy. Should the member die before his Jmtr pay. fnents of Ave dollar are made, the remuininir mi. paid part will be deducted from the one Thouianrt uouars aue ins neirs; nis successor will then pay only (too dollars annually during his lifetime, and the mortality assessments. V Male and Female from fifteen to sixty-five J 'ears of aire, of good moral habits, In good health, lale, and sound of mind. Irrespective of creed, or race, may become members. For further Infoma- uou, aauress jj. w. ukaumwc, (Sec'y U. B. Mutual Aid Society,) LEBANON, FA. Agents Wanted ! Address D. 8. EARLY, 6 31 8m pdl Harrisburg, Fa. POLITICAL CAMPAIGN OF 187. GRANT & WILSON, GREELEY & BltOWN, Campaign Caps, CAFES AND TORCHES, Transparencies and Banners, With Portraits or any device lor all parties. Bilk, Bunting and Muslin Flags of all sizes on hand or made to order. Chinese Lanterns of all Sims and HI vies s Paner Ba oons. Fire Works, sc., c. Campaign Clubs fitted out at the Lowest ituies at WM. F. SCHEIBLE'S CAMPAIGN DEPOT, 49 South Third Street, Philadelphia. ' BEND FOR CIRCULAR. 6 27 13t MAA T BE CREDITED TO fXjXjKJ MUTUAL POLICY HOLDERS. The Pennsylvania Central Insurance Company Having naa out nine loss auring me past year, uie . annual assessment on Mutual Policy-holders will not exceed 60 per cent, on the usual one year cash . rates, which would be equal to a dividend of 40 J.er cent,, as calculated In Stock Companies, or a led net Ion of 2 per cent., on the notes below the usual assessment; and as the Company has over t'AJO.OOO ill premium notes, the whole amount cred ited to mutual policy-holders, over cash rates, will amount to 84,000. Had the same policy-holders In sured In a Stock Company, at the usual rate, they would have paid (4,000 more than It has cost them in tills Company. Yet some of our neighbor agents are running about crying Fraud I Fraud I . and declare that a mutual company must fall. But they don't say how many stock companies are falling every year, or how many worthless stock companies are represented in Perry County to-day. It Is a well-known fact that a Mutual Company cannot break. JAMES H. CRIER, 6 25tf Bec'y of Peuu'a Central Insurance Co. It 13 MO val: Merchant Tailoring Establishment. THE subscriber respectfully Informs the public that he has removed his MERCHANT TAIL ORING ESTABLISHMENT from "Little Store in the Corner," to room formerly occupied by J. O. Bhatto, Dentist, where may be found at all times, a varied assortment of Cloths, Cassimers and Testings, With a complete line of TiillorH Trimming-, Of the best quality. Those desiring to purchase GOOD GOODS, at Reasonable prices, and have them made In the LATEST STYLE, will please Also, a good assortment of SHIRTS, SUSPENDERS, COLLARS, NECK-TIES, HOSIERY, &C..&0., On hand at low prices. A. H. FRANCISCUS & CO., XTo. 513 3Iarket Street, PHILADELPHIA, Have opened for the FALL TRADE, the largest and best assorted Stock of PHILADELPHIA CARPETS, Table, Stair, and Floor Oil Cloths, Window Shades and Pawr, Cariiet Chain. Cotton. Yarn, Batting, Wadding, Twines. Wicks Clocks, Looking Glasses, Fancy Baskets, Brooms, Baskets, Buckets, Brushes. Clot ties Wringers, Wooden and Willow Ware, IN TUB UNITED STATES. , Our large increase In business enables us to sell at low prices, and furnish the best quality of Goods. SOLE AGENTS FOHTIIB Celebrated American Washer, Price K5.50. TUB MOST PERFECT AND SUCCESSFUL WASHER EVER MADE. 'T AGENTS WANTED FOR THE AMKRI CAN WASHER in all parts of the State. ' S7 13t Presidential Campaign ! Caps. C'apcN and Torrlirit! Bend for Illustrated Circular and Price List. CUNNINGHAM i HILL, Manufacturers, No. 204 CuuacH Htheft, Julyl6,1872-3MuO jFlULADELPIIIA. Town Lot for Sale. I- OCATEI) In Ickesburg .on West St. opposite J the Reformed church. The Improvements re A : LARGE DOUBLE FRAME HOUSE . AND FRAME STABLE. For particulars call or address. J. W. RICK, Ickesburg Parr j Co. , Pa. August , 1871 A Mother-In-Iaw's Fnst Ride. Joe. S. ia the fortunate - possessor ofa mother-in-law, and what he probably thought more of among his horses was one known as Quaker. Now Quaker was a good roador, and could and would jerk a wagon with two in it in 2:51 on the road, and the harder he was pulled in and the more be was yelled at the raster he meant to go. In fact, when a competing horse ranged alongside, and a strong pull was taken, accompanied with yells, he thought he must do his level best on trotting, and you bet he did It. Not many years ago, when the county fair was held where Mas ter Joe then lived, ho had old Quaker hitched up to a 180 pounds three-quarter seated wagon, and as he was getting in, mother-in-law wished to go with him. He informed her that he was going to the town clerk's office at the lower end of the village, (about a mile,) and if she was in a hurry to return she would have to drive back alone, and then cramped the wagon for her ad mittance; and with head drooping and slouching gait old Quaker walked along, taking the ill-assorted pair to the town clerk's office. Now, be it known, Joe doar- ly loves fun, and will have it as often as possible, while mother-in-law is a rigid, old fashioned, sky blue Baptist, undoubtedly very good, but unfortunately possessed with the idea that to laugh is to sin. It so happened that every team at that time was going to the fair grounds, or else was walking; so Quaker had no chance to " score up," but just as they arrived at the office of the town clerk, S. saw Jack Barnes coming on his way to the fair. Now, Jack's mare has the reputation of being four or five seconds faster than old Quaker. To turn Quaker around, jump out, and ad vise mother-in-law to drive slow going borne, was but a minute's work; and then holding up his hand to attract Jack's at tention he told him he would pay chicken fixings, etceteras, if ho would range along side Quaker at Seed, yell and spirit the old horse up the street to Fair Grounds entrance. A nod, and Jack touches Lady Cutler with his whip, sings out, git ! and lays for Quaker, who, hearing the stepper coming, grabs at his bit. Mother-in-law takes hold of reins in front of the buttons, puts feet against brace iron in front, and as the lady ranges alongside, Jack yelling lively, mother-in-law takes her strongest pull, screaming whoa I to stop her "ani mile" But he didn't stop not much he didn't the pull was just enough to steady him good; whoa, he evidently considered to be meant for a sell for the other horse, and squatted to do his level best, and just did it Now you bet I Barnes was actually getting left behind, and warming up to his work he commenced in right good earnest to sing out, Hi Yarr I Go er long I What aro you about I Git, won't yer? And thoy did git nice "Bothon'em." The people they passed seeing their speed aud the old lady's hat on the back of her neck her shawl streaming out behind, and the cour age with which she hung on to the lines, clapped their hands and encouragingly Bung out, "Good, old gal I"" Gay old bird 1" "Bully for old Quaker I" And as thoy passed two hotels, the fast boys on the piazzas gave tbem three cheers with a vim, in fact, with several extra vims. Joe's mother-in-law took the ffrst even ing train for her Green Mountain home. His parting words were, "he should not allow her to drive Quaker again as he had cautioned ber to drive slow, and she had gone and beat one of the fastest horses in town. Joe said the next day, with a quiet twin kle of his eye, that his wife did not give him a " curtain lecture" that night, and when parties put up their little bets on it he proved by Jack Barnes that thoy went out to Pittsburg for their chicken fixings and etceteras, and didn't get back until six o'clock next morning. IWln a Kansas town lives a man who is somewhat noted as a money lender and a devoted church member. lie came to the State with a littlo ready money, and tak ing advantage of the high rates of interest paid by land speculators in that overtraded region, he amassed quite a fortune, and be came known by all as the Shylock of . Not long ago he bought a lot in the ceme tery, and was contemplating the luxury of a family tomb, and in his bargain with the stone-cutter it was agreed that a stanza was to bo cut upon the monument. The monu ment being nearly completed, the stone cutter called for his selection. Our friend handing him a check in full, replied: " I am well satisfied with your work; the stone suits me exactly. I'll just trust you to select something appropriate. I am busy just now. The stone-cutter remembering an old grudge, and feeling the money was in his pocket, concluded to Bhow his customer's nature up in its own mirror, A week later imagine our rich man's chagrin, when in company with friends he bad gone to see his expensive shaftof gran ite, to find these words: " Here lies old Thirty Ave Per Cent I The more be made the less he spent. Friends and kindred both he shaved. And how can such a soul be saved ?" tW The love of glory can only create a hero ; the contempt of It creates a wise man. An Old Story, But Good. If any one believes that all the , stories of the glorious old times of Jackson and Clay campaigns have been used up, he will find how easy it is to be mistaken. Wit ness the following which comes to us from Old Kentucky, by the way of Louisiana. Our entertaining friend begins : "You must know" (but we did not know) " that around and about the beau tiful city of Lexington, in the State of Ken tucky, for a distance of twelve or fifteen miles, there lives or did live, twenty years ago a-great number of small farmers, who find in that city a ready market for the surplus product of the farms, And there they carry it to sell, and buy finery and nick-nacks for their families. One of these farmers, a poor but industrious and fear less man, had a porker, a few bushels of meal, potatoes, beans, etc., which he wish ed to dispose of; and, borrowing a horse and wagon he picked up his things, and, just at dark sot oil for town. Arrived at one or two o'clock in the morning, he en tered the market house, and selecting a stall, he split the dressed pig into halves, and hung them on the stout hooks, and with a bag of meal for a pillow lay down to sleep till morning. He slept soundly and lato, aud when he awoke the market people were crowding in; ' and, lo 1 one half of his pig had been unhooked, and hooked. It was clean gone ! He made known his loss, and, raving and swearing, be drew the whole crowd about him. As he grew warm with his wrath he said: " ' I know the sort of man that stole that pork Idol,' " ' Well, why not lot it out, if you know, and we will help find him for you I" they cried out, in reply. " 1 Yes, I know what sort of a man he was; he was a Clay mau !' " "As old Harry Clay lived within a mile of the market, and every man here was ready to go to the dean for him, this was a bold speech, to accuse a Clay man of stealing a pig in Lexington, and they clos ed on him to give him a sound thrashing; wheu one demanded of him what made him think so. " ' Why, nobody but a Clay mau would have done it; if ho had been a Jackson man he would have gone the whole hog !' "This turned the tables. The humor of the robbed farmer was irresistable. The Lexingtonians carried him off to a coffee house to a hot breakfast and a morning Bpree; after drinking to the health of Henry Clay, they made up the loss, and sent him home rejoicing." Uncle Josh and the Deacons. Deacon D. was very much interested in a revival that was taking place in the neigh borhood, and, as a consequence, was con tinually urging his neighbors to "come over on the Lord's side," as he expressed it. Ho had frequently importuned an old noighbor of his who was not narticularlv noted for his profession of religion, but was nevertheless highly respected by all who knew him to attend one of their eve ning meetings. Now the piety and hon esty of the deacon was a matter of doubt among his fellow-townsmen, and particu larly so with the old man above meutioned, who, for convenience sake, we may call Uncle Josh. After repeated calls, Uncle Josh con sented to accompany the deacon to one of the meetings, and accordingly accompanied him to the " school house" one evening, much to the surprise of all present. In the course of the evening the deacon arose with a penitential countenance to tell his experience. He was the prince of sinners, he said. If he got his deserts he would be banished forever from divine favor. After making himself out to bo all that is vile In man according to his interpretation of "he that humbleth himself shall be exalted." he sat down with the sublime sense of hav ing done bis duty, and asked Uncle Josh if he wouldn't ts)ll bis experience. With some reluctance he meekly arose amid tho breathless attention of the assembly. It was an unknown occurrence for llnr.ln Josh to speak in meeting. He said he hod listened with great interest to the remarks of the deacon, and he could assure the brethren that, from his long acquaintance witn litm, be could fully endorse all the deacon had said concerning his meanness and vileness, for he was certainly the mean est man lie ever kuew. The wrath of the deacon was torriflo. Ho shook his fist un der the deacon's nose, and exclaimed: " you are a confounded lior, and I'll take the starch right out of you when I tret you out of church." tW'X "Spocial" Despatch Scene: A metropolitan hotel telegraph office, early Monday morning Younor gentleman oper ator, after repeated calls for young lady operator In a branch office, at lust gets a response, and then, "click, click, click, click" (fortissimo), he telegraphs back to her vehemently, "I have been trvintr to catch you for the last half hour." In a moment the following i spicy reply came tripping back to him over the wires from tho tolographio suburban maidon: "Pooh I That's nothing; there is a young man here who has been trying to do the same thing for the last two years, and he hasn't caught me yet." , A Sell. ; . , . A Yankee arriving in Boston without money or frionds was revolving in his mind some plan whereby he. could raise the "chink," as he expressed it. Jonathan had never visited a city before in his life. Ho strolled into a shoemaker's where an advertisement, "Wanted, a First Class Boot Maker," appeared on the window, and accosted the proprietor: " Do you want a first class boot maker here?" " Yes." " What do you pay?" " That depends on your capacity. Have you -worked at custom work?" " I reckon. You jest try me, captain, I hain't skeered a bit at tryin'." The proprietor gave his new hand a bench and materials and bade him make a pair of ladies' gaitors. Soon after he loft the store on business, Jonathan made a shoo, but such a horri bio rffair, that, ashamed to show it, he hid it in the leather shavings; just as he com pleted the second shoe the proprietor re turned. Ho flow into a passion at behold ing the botched shoe. " You confoundod rascal, so bad a shoe as that has never been made in this estab lishment 1" he exclaimed. " Would you like to bet on that, stran ger?" " Bet 1 Yes ! I will bet ton dollars no such work as that was ever done in this store 1" Jonathan walked to the shavings, drag' ged forth his first shoe, and coolly pocketed his ten dollars, and walked off. A Shilling's Worth. A fellow who had iust come to town bv railroad, being a stranger, strolled about for some time on tho outskirst of the town in search of a barber. He finally discover ed one, and requested the tonsorial opera tor to take oil a shilling's worth of hair. The barber trimmed his locks vory neatly, soaped up the remainder very handsomely, and then combed and brushed him un till his head looked as if it bolonged to some ouier porson tnan himself. "Are you done," asked the strangor, as uie Darner took the napkin from his neck. "Yes, sir," said the barber, with a low bow. ' " Aro you cortain your have taken off a Binning s worth ?" " Yes, sir; there's a glass; you can look for yourself." " Well," said the straniror, " if vou think you have taken a shilling's worth off, I don't know as I have change, so you can take uie nair lor your trouble." On hearing this the barber made n nmn for tho man; whorounon the man marina jump for the door, which, not being bolted, no ooitea nimseit. - A Ludicrous Mistake. A Cincinnati grocery house, lludinar out that cranberries commanded six dollars per bushel, and under the impression that the article could be bought to advantage at St. Mary's, wrote out to a customor, ac quainting hira with the fact, and requesting him to send " one hundred bushels per Simmons," (the wagoner usually sent. The correspondent, a plain, uneduoatod man, bad considerable difficulty in deci phering the fashionable scrawl common with merchants' clerks of late years, and the niOBt important word, " Cranberries,' he failod to make out. but he did 'nlalnlv and clearly rea done hundred buthelt Per timmont. As the article was growing all around him, all the boys in the neighbor hood wore set to gathering it, and the wagoner made his appearance in due time in Cincinnati, with eighty bushels, all that the wagon bed would hold, and a line from the country merchant that the remainder would loilow the next trip. An exnlanation soon ensued, but the customer insisted that the Cincinnati house should have written by Simmons and not per Simmons. What Smoking does for Boys. A certaiu doctor, struck with the large number of boys under fifteen years of age whom he observed smoking, was led to in quire Into the effect the habit had upon the general health. Ho took for his purpose thirty-eight boys, oged from nine to fifteen and carefully examined them. Iu twenty seven of them ho discovered injurious traces of tbo habit. In twenty-two there were various disordeis of the circulation and di gestion, palpitation of the heart, and a more or less markod taste for strong drink. In twelve there was frequent bleeding of Uie nose, ton hod disturbed sleep, twelve hod slight ulcerations of the mucus membrane of tho mouth, which disappeared on ceas ing from the use of tobacco for some days. The doctor treated them all for weak ness, but with little effect uutil the smok ing was discontinued, when health and strength were soon restored. tWM. a party where auestions were asked, and facetious answers were expec ted, a coal dealer asked what lerral author!. tywas the favorite with his trade. One anBwerou, "t;oke." "Jtlgut," said the coal dealer. Another succestcd " Black. stone." " Good, too," said the questioner. I hen a little hardfaced man in the corner Dined out "Littleton." whoreurio'n the coal dealer sat down without saying anything. ENIGMA DEPARTMENT. All contributions to this denartment must be accompanied by the correct answer. t9" Answer to problem in last week's Times. The man received f 78 for the goods. Smith's Proposal. A story Is told of a preacher who lived about forty years ago. He was a bachelor, and we could write his real name, but pre fer to call him Smith, He resisted many persuasions to marry, which his friends were constantly making, until he had reach ed a tolerably advanced age, and he him self began to feel the need of, or at least to have new ideas of the comfort of being nursed with woman's gentle care. Shortly after entering one of his circuits, a maiden lady, also of ripe years, was strongly recom mended to him, and his friends again urged that he had better got married, representing that the lady named would probably not refuse to accept him, notwithstanding his reputed eccentricities. "Do you think tho?" responded the dominie, for he tery perceptibly lisped ; " then I'll go and thee her." k He was a man of his word. His ring at the door-boll was answered by the serving maid. "Ith Mith P within?" briskly but calmly asked the lover. "Yes, Sir. Will you walk in ?" "No, I thank you. Be kind enough to thay to Mith P that I with to tbpeak to her a moment." Miss P appeared, and repeated the invitation to walk in. " No, thank you; I'll thoon explain my buthiucss. I'm the new preacher. I'm unmarried. My friendth think I'd better marry. They recommend you for my wifo. Have you any objection ?" "Why, really, Mr. Sm " "There don't anthwernow. Will call thith day week for your reply. Good-day." On that day week he reappeared at the door of Miss P 's residence. It was promptly opened by the lady herself. "Walk in, Mr. Smith." "Can not, ma'am. Have not time. Start on my circuit round in hall an hour. Ith your anthwer ready, ma'am ?" " Oh, do walk in, Mr. Smith." " Can't indeed, ma'am. Pleath anthwer me Yeth or No." "Well, Mr. Smith it is a very serious matter. 1 thould not like to get out of the may of Providence " "I perfectly underetand you, Mith P . AVe will be married thith day week. I will call at thith hour. Pleath be ready." He called on that dajsweok, at that hour. She was ready; they were married, and lived happily several years. An Experiment with Paper Car Wheels. The Springfield Jlepublican says the Con necticut River Railroad Company ,is about introducing, for trial, a set of paper car wheols undor the forward truck of one of its engines. These wheels have been known to car-builders for some time, but the de mand for them has been moderate on ac count of thoir cost, notwithstanding the universally acknowledged fact that they are safe and easy going. The wheels are manufactured byputtinca nressure of thren hundred aud fifty tons upou common straw paper, which forces them into a compact mass, which is then turned nerfectlr round and the hub forced in to a hole in the centre, this requiring a pressure of twenty, five tons weiirht. The tire is of steel and has one-quarter inch bevel upon its inner edge, tuus allowing the paper filling to be forced in, two hundred and fifty tons pres sure being required in the process. Two iron plates, one on each side of the naner. - - . X 1 are bolted together, which prevents the pos sibility or the fillings coming out. The tire rests upon the paner onlv and rartaka of its elasticity in consequence. Although these wheels are much more expensive than those in common use, the patentee claims that they are cheaper in the end, as they wear longor, injure the track less, aud run witn less noise than whoels of any other pattern. Short. A lady who had received a sovera hita nn her arm from a doer wont to Dr. Abernethv. but hearing of his aversions to hear the statement of particulars, she morclv un. i covered the injured part and held it before him in silence. After examining it he said in an inquiring tone, Scratch?" "Bite" said the lady. "CatV" inquired the doc tor. " Dojr," replied the ladv. So de. lighted was the doctor with the brevity aud promptness of the lady's auswers that he exclaimed, " Zounds, madam, you are the most sensible woman I have met with in all my life I" t2TThey toll about a man out in Doyles- town, in this State, who heard that well water could be purified with lime, so he emptied a bushel and a half into his well, and felt blissful aud happy. It turned out that, because of the dryness of the season, there was only three feet of water in the well, and ever since his experiment he has been selling a good article of white wash to his neighbors at two buckets for a cent, and walked a mile and a half to the creek for drinking-water for his family. lie bos bis doubts now about lime being a good purifier. , '
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers