I)e tmc0, New Bloomficllr, )a. " Safe, safe, in my arms 1" exclaimed Jones, as be alighted. "Now,' beloved, nil tby perils are over. Let me untwist the rope from your wrists. How it must have hurt you I That's it." As the rope still huDg out of the window without being pulled up by any one, it ap peared propable to J ones that she had secur ed It to the bcd-post,and thus escaped with out the asslstatico or knowledge of any of Jier companion. . i , t (Nevertholcs, ho thought lie discerned more than one fnco at the window, but it was too dark to be certain, v ,"But, how is this, deavestl you do not speak I ' You turn away your head; your form hangs heavily on my arms.' Great Heaven t she has fainted; the exertion has been tQ much for her, 'Whatever shajl I da-?".., . ; J Ones begaii to be quite frightened. ..He i had scarcely bargained for bucU a disaster as this. . , .(! . j i. i i , , How ho would bo .able to lift . her over the garden railings ho hardly know; and un less sho revived, the prospect of supporting hor weight (which was scarcely, so light as ho had expected) for an indefinite) distance, ,was not pleasant. , , . !,,..r ' . ; .However, there was no . help for it so . clasping hor inanimate form, our poet hast ened, or rather staggered, down tlio garden walk. 1 ,.! ... . . .- Ho had not proceeded far, when, his fair burden somewhat obstructing his viow, ho stumbled against some' invisible obstaclo (which we inform tho reader in confidence was the handlo of the garden roller). ' Down ho fell, his beloved Laura bound ing from bis arms with a sort of jerk, and falling head downwards on tho gravelled path with a violence that could, scarcely fail to do her some ' serious injury. Yet she uttered no exclamation. " Oh, horror ! could it bo that sho was killed instantaneously ? , , As soon as ho could Jones picked himself up, all bruised and shaking, , his head all iu a whirl, and his anguish indescribable "Oh, Laura ! Laura !" he exclaimed, bending over hor prostrate form. "When, as luck would have it, tho moon emerged from behind a cloud, and shining down brightly on tho scene, revealed a fact by which tho poet was complotey over whelmed. ; ; Tho dress was Laura's, and so were tho boots, so was tho mantilla; but tho face ! simply a paper mask, fixed on an old bon net, tho hands mid gloves filled out with some soft material, the whole formin short, , Jonos was about to elope with a lifesize doll, ingeniously constructed by Laura and her friend Netty out of a num ber of old clothes, aud let down out of tho window by means of the lope I Byron Jonos was aghast at tho discovery. He thought at first his eyes deceived him; but no, the fact was only too evident; and, in addition, be heard an undoubted peal of laughter ringing iu the air. Looking up, he beheld tho mirth-convulsed face of Laura and thrco of hor com panions, gazing at him from the window, and also that of Bob projected from the at tio above them, and lighted up by a mis chievous grin. Never was a sell" more complete and heart-crushing. Burning with vexation, the poet lied tho scene, and tore his coat terribly through the rapidity with which lie got over the front railings, . , His passion was cured; but he perceived on reflection that, if Laura had acted cruel ly, he, at least, had tempted her to do so by making himself ridiculous. , From that hour, not only did lie never venture near Minerva College, but he ad dressed no more poetic epistles to " Lalla Rookh" (except a last ftirewell and that was a "stinger")., Furthermore, he soon left off "invoking the muse" altogether, doffed the Byronio collar and Greek cap, and gave himself up to tho more solid 'studies of Messrs. Cod dysill's office. i The last time I board of him he was getting a tolerable good practice as solicitor on his own account. i ' As for " Lalla Kookh," she did go to the Vale of Cashmere, but it was with hor hus band, Mr. Owen Wilford, who holds a lucrative Government situation in that poetio region. .- . i . ? n . : ;.. JfAn English medical journal gives warning against wearing green kid gloves, because physicians have found . that tho hands of those wearing gloves of this oolor soon become covered with au eruption dif ficult to cure, as the poison seems to enter the system. These gloves were dyed with arsenic, though not all green kid are so dyed, yet it is regarded safer to wear some other color: . 1 ' i . (ST " Susie,", said a teacher to one of her pupils, "you shouldn't make faces. You will grow up homoly if you make faces." Susie looked thoughtfully Into the teacher's face a moment,ar.dtben innocent ly asked "Did you make faces when you wer a girl?" i t2TIf a young lady of twenty is attrac tive, how is it ou whohas "five twenties?" "Would there be In such a case " sufficient bondt for a union 1 tHA promising young men Is all very well ; but better have a paying one. : ENIGMA DEPAnfrME&T. " XrMl contributions to this department must be accompanied by the correct answer. . V ; Enigma ' : : I am composed of twenty-one letters My 21, 10, 2, 6, 17, 14, and 0 is an animal. My 8, 20, 8, i, ani 8 dcslgnntos a certain por tion. My 21, 7, 1, 11 snd 20 Is ths name of a mount. My 21, 4, 11, 10, and 0, is an article of fomalo dress. ,; jf J I f Jf'li t My 8, 12, 7, and 14, Is a county in Ohio. ' ' My 18, 2, 15, and 13 is a small bird. . My 10, 19, 5, 20, and 8, Is a fold. Jty. 17V 1,' au'd (), is a homo of onloUatnnisut.' My whole Is tho name of an American poet. Answer to Geographical Enigma No. 1 " The Conflagration of Moscow.'1 ' AN ABSURD ADVENTURE. MARK TWAIN in his book entitled "Roughing' it," gives a humorous account of tho mamief in which himself and two comrades were lost and how after trav eling for sorrto time in a circle they con cluded to camp for tho night. ' Plainly the situation was desporato. ' We ' were cold and stiff and tho horses were tired. We de cided to build a Bagc-brush fire and camp out till morning: This was wise, because if wo were wandering from the right road and the snow-storm continued another day our case would bo tho next thing to hope less if we kept on. !.:.: All agreed that a camp fire was what would como nearest to savinp; us, now, and so we set about building it.' We could find no matches, and so wo tried to make shift with the pistols. Not a man in the party had tried to do such a thing beforo, but not a man in tho party doubted that it could bo dono, and without any troublo because every man in the party had read about it in books many a timo and had naturally como to believe it, with trusting simplicity, just as he had long ago accepted and bo liovcd that othor common book-fraud about Indians aud lost hunters making a firo by rubbing two dry sticks together. . Wo huddled together on our knees in tho deep snow, and tho horses put their noses together and bowed their patient heads over us; and while the feathery flakes ed died down and turned us into a group of white statuary, wo proceeded with the mo mentous experiment. ' We broke twigs from a sage bush and piled them on a littlo cleared place in the shelter of our bodies. In the course of ten or fifteen minutes all was ready, and then, while conversation ceased and our pulses beat low with anx ious suspense, Ollendorff applied his revol ver, pulled the trigger and blow the pile clear out of tho county ! It was tho flattest failure that ever was. This was distressing, but it paled beforo a greater horror the horses were gouo ! I had been appointod to hold tho bridles, but in my absorbing anxiety over the pistol ex periment I had unconsciously dropped thom and tho released animals walked off in the storm. It was useless to try to fol low thom, for their footfalls could make no sound, and one could pass within two yards of the creatures and never see them. We gave them up without an effort at recov ering them, and cursed the lying books that said that horses w ould stay by their masters for protection and companionship in a distressful time like ours. We were miserable enough, before; wo felt still more forlorn, now. Patiently, but with blighted hope, we broke more sticks and piled thom, and once more the Prus sian shot thom into annihilation. Plainly, to light a fire with a pistol was an art re quiring practice and experience, and tho middle of a desert at midnight in a snow storm was not a good place or time for the acquiring of the accomplishment. We gave it up and tried the other. Each man took a couple of sticks and fell to chaffing togethor. At tho end of half an hour we wore thoroughly chilled, and so wore the sticks. We bitterly execrated tho Indians, the hunters aud the books that had betray ed us with the silly device, aud wondered dismally what -was next to bo done. At this critical moment Mr. Ballou fished out four matches from the rubbish of an over looked pockot. To have found four gold bars would have seemed poor and cheap good luck compared to this. One cannot thiuk how good a match looks under such circumstances or how lovable or precious, and as sacredly beautiful to the eye. This time we gathered sticks with high hopes; and when Mr. Ballou prepared to light the first match, there was an amount of In terest centered (upon him that pagos of writing cannot describe The match burn ed hopefully for a moment and then went out. It could not have earriod more regret with it if it had beon a human lifo. The next match flashed and died. The wind puffed the third one out just as it was on the imminent verge of success. We gath ered together closer than ever, and develop ed solicitude that was rapt and painful, as Ballou scratched our last hope on his leg. It lit. Shading It with his hands, the old gentleman bent gradually down and every heart went with him everybody, too, for that matter and blood and breath stood still. The flame touched the sticks at last, took gradual hold upon them hesitated took a stronger bold hesitated again- held its breath five heart-breaking seconds, then gave a sort of a human gasp and went out. , Nobody said a word for several minutes. It was a solemn sort of. silence; evon the wind put on a stealthy, sinister quiet, and made no more noiso than the falling flakes of snow. Finally a sad-voiced conversation began, and it was soon apparent that In each of our hearts lay the conviction that this was our last night with the livings J liad so hoped Uiat I wa the only iiono that' felt so. When the others calmly acknowl edged their conviction, it sounded like the summons Itself Ollendorff said:', , f i " Brothers, let us die together. . And lot us go without one hard fcoling toward each other. Lot us forgot and forgive bygones. I know that you have folt hard towards me for turning over the canoe, and for know ing too much and leading you around and arouud in the snow but I mean well; . for give me. I acknowledge freely that I have had hard feelings against Mr. Ballou for abusing me and calling me a logarythm, which is a tiling I do not know what, but no doubt a thing considered disgraceful and unbecoming in America, audit has scarcely been out of my mind and has hurt mo a great, deal but lot it go'; I forgive Mr. Ballou with all my heart, and " Poor Ollendorff broke down and tho tears came. Ho was not alono, for I was crying too, and so was Mr. Ballou. Ollendorff got his voice again and forgave me for things I had dono and said. Then ho got out his bottle of whiskey and said whether ho lived or died he would never touch another drop. Ho said ho had given up all hopo of lifo, and although ill-prepared, was ready to submit humbly to his fate; that ho wished ho could bo spared a littlo longer, not for any selfish reason, but to mako a thorough reform in his character, and by devoting himself to helping tho poor, nursing tho sick, and pleading with the peoplo to guard themselves against tho evils of intemper ance, make his lifo a beneficent examplo to tho young, aud lay his down at hist witli tho precious reflection that ho had not been living in va in. Ho ended bysaying that his reform should begin at this moment, evon hero in the presence of doatli, sinco no longer time was to bo vouchsafed whore in to prosecute it to men's help and bene fit and with that he threw away tho bottlo of whiskey. Mr. Ballou made remarks of similar pur port, and began the reform ho could not livo to continue, by throwing away tho ancient pack of cards that had solaced our captivity during the flood and mako it bear able. Ho said ho never gambled, but still was satisfed that -the meddling with cards in any way was immoral and injurious, and no man could be wholly pure and blemish less without eschewing them. " And there fore," continued he, "in doing this act I already feel more in sympathy with that spiritual saturnalia necessary to entire and obsolete reform." These rolling syllables touched him as no intolligiblo oloquenco could have done, and the old mad sobbed with a mournfulness not unminglod with satisfaction. My own remarks were of the Bamo tenor as those of my comrades, and I know that tho feolings that prompted them were heartfelt and sincere. We were all sincere, and all dooply moved and .earnest, for we were In the presence of death and without hopo. I threw a way my pipe, and in doing it felt that at last I was free of a hated vlco and one that had riddon mo like a tyrant all my days. While I yot talked, tho thought of the good I might have dono in the world and the still greater good I might, now do, with these now incentives and hlghor and better aims to guldo me if I could only be spared a few years longer, overcame mo and the tears camo again. We put our arms about each other's necks and awaited the warning drowsiness that precedes death by freezing. It came stealing over us presently, and then we bade each other a last farewell. A delicious dreaminess wrought its web about my yielding senses, while the snow, flakes wove a winding sheet about my con. quored body. Oblivion camo. The battlo of lifo was dono. I do not know how long I was in a state of forgetfuluess, but it seemed an ago. A vaguo consciousness grew upon me by de grees, nnd then came a gathering anguish of pain in my limbs and through all my body I shuddered. The thought flitted through my brain, " this is doath-rthis Is the here after." Thon came a white upheaval at my side, and a voice said, with bitterness: " Will some gentleman be so good as to kick me behind?" It was Ballou at loast it was a towzled snow image in a sitting posture, with Bal lou'g voice. I rose up and there in the gray dawn, not fifteen steps from us, were the frame build. Ings of a stage station, and under a shed stood our still saddled and bridled horses I An archon snow-drift broke up, now, and Ollendorff emerged from it, and the three of us sat and stared at the house without speaking a word. We really had nothing to say. We were like the profane man who could not ."do the subject justice, " the whole situation was so painfully ridiculous and humiliating that words were tame and we did not know where to commence any how. ''.!; ' The joy in our hearts at our deliverance was poisoned; well-nigh dissipated, indeed. We presently began to grow pettish by do- grces, and Bullen; and thon angry at each other, angry at ourselves, angry at every thing in general, we moodily dusted the snow from our clothing and in an unsoci able single. file we plowed our way to the horses, unsaddled them, and soucht shelter In thq station) . I have scarcely exaggerated a detail of this curious and absurd adventure. It oc curred almost exactly as I have stated it. We actually went into camp in a snow drift in a desert, at midnight in a storm, forlorn and hopolossy within fifteen stops of a comfortable inn. For two hours WO sat apart in the station and ruminated in disgust.1 Tho mystery was gone, now, and it was' plain enough why the horses had dosertod us. ' Without a doubt they wore under that shed a quar ter of a minute after they, had left us, and they muBt have overheard and enjoyed all our confessions and lamentations. After broakfast wo felt bolter, and tho zest soon came back. . The world ' looked bright aguin, and existence was ns doar to us as ever. Prosontly' an uneasiness came over mo grow iipon me assailed mo with out ceasing. Alas, my regeneration was riot complete I wan tod tto smoke ! I re sisted with all my strongth, but the flesh was weak. I wandered away alono' and wrestled with myself an hour. I recalled my promises of reform and preached to my self persuasively, upbraidingly, exhaustive ly. But it was all in vain, I shortly found myself sneaking among the snow-drifts hunting foi my pipe. I discovered it nftcr a considerable search, and crept away to hide myself and onjoy it. I remained bo hind tho barn a good while, asking myself how I should feel if my braver, stronger, true comrades should catch mo in my degradation. At last I lit my pipe, and no human boing can fool meaner and baser than I did thou. I was ashamed of being in my own pitiful company. Still dreading discovery, Ifultthat perhaps tho furthor side of tho barn would bo somo what safer, and so I turned the corner. As I turned tho ono comer smoking, Olio n dorff turned tho other with his bottlo to his lips, and between us sat unconscious Ballou deep iu a gamo of " solitaire" with the old groasy cards 1 Absurdity could go no farther. We shook hands and agreed to say no more about "reform" and "examples to the rising generation." , Pat ami the Pig. A countryman killing a pig aud not wish ing to divide with his neighbor which was the custom of the country, said to tho man (who by tho way was a son of the Emerald Isle:) ' Pat, if I give to the neighbors who have given to mo, a piece of pork I will have none loft for mysolf. Can you tell mo what I am to do ?" ' "Bo dad, Bir!" said Pat; "it's mesolf, sir, that can do the same thing." " Good," said tho countryman, rubbing his hands and looking at Pat. "Now, toll me what am I to do." "Faith, sir," said Pat, "sure and whon the craythur is cleaned, just be afthor hanging it against the door where every withers son of them will see it, and early in the morning before any one is about, get up and take in your pig and hide it away, and then whon your noighbors come toll them the pig was stolon." "Capital idea, Pat," exclaimed the countryman. . "I'll do that, by St George." So whon tho pig was clcaued it was hung up outsido the door so that the neighbors could soo it. The countryman anxiously awaited the approaching night, and at last retired to bod but not to sleep. Pat under cover of the darkness of the night, crept around tho houso aud stolo the pig. What was tho astonishment of the coun tryman when at early dawn he uroso to hide away his pig, but found no pig there can bo bettor imaginod than described. In tho midst of his bewilderment, Pat camo in with his usual " top o' the morning to you, sir," aud giving him a knowing wink said: " Masthor, how about tho pig ?" ' Well, Pat, the pig was stolon in re ality." " Faith and that sounds just as natural as though you had lost your pig." "But, you blockhead, I told you tho pig was stolon." " Faith and begorry, masthor, the divil a bit o' mo thought you could do so well. Just stick to that ; it's as natural as life." "By St. George," roared the now irate countryman. " I toll you the pig was sto len." " Och 1 be jabers;" says Pat, " stick to It and your neighbors will boliove you, and divil a bit of it they'll get. Faith, I did not think you could do so well." VW The baby oyster Is not much bigger than a fair sized pin's head at the end of a fortnight, and at three months only of the size of a split pea. In a year lie will be- oome as large as au ordinary penny, and at the end of four years' growth he is fit for the market. ST. ELMO HOTEL, 'a (FORMERLY "THE UNION,") JOS. ffl. FEWER, . . Proprietor, 817 & 819 ARCH STREET, ' PHILADELPHIA. Terms, , $3,0OPerDny. TUB ftfc BLMO Is centrally located" and has been re-Mted and. refurpltlied, so tliat It will be found a comfortable nnd pleasant a stopping place us there is Iu 1'hlladelphla. 0 Hit Farmers Take q(t?c. T IIIE subscriber offers for Sale ' THKESHINO MACHINES. JACKS and HORSE. . jjj :,; , i , r0WEK,. ; . . . ,j With Tumbling Shaft, andSide-Gcarlng, Warrant, ert to give satisfaction In speedy and perfect, threshing, light draft and durability, on reasona ble tonus. Also r tone :; , ! i ) r Of: Suparior Make, ; r CORN SIIEI.I.KKH. KETTI.1S, " ' '. . STOVES, ' ! ..' SCOOPS I ' ' AND ALL CASTINGS, made at a country Foundry. Also, A GOOD MILL SCREW, In excellent order, for .sale at a .low rate. I refer those wishing to bnv to John Adams, Samuel Shuiuan, John Uoden, Ross Hnneh, at Ickmbnrg. Jaeob Shoemaker j Son, Elliotts, burg; Thomas Morrow, Loysville; John Flicking er, Jacob FUcktuger, Centre, ., 620 13 SAMUEL LIGGETT. Ickesburg, May 14. 1872. Neiv Millinery Goods -Vt IVewpovt, Pu. I MM to Inform the nubile that I have Just re turned rroni Philadelphia, with m full assort ment of the latest styles of MILLINERY GOODS. . . HATS AND RON NETS. RIltllONS, FRENCH FLOWERS FEATIIEliS, i CHIGNONS, LACE CAri'S. fiOTIOSS, And all articles usually found 111 a first-class Mil linery Establishment. All orders promptly at tended to. -Ve will sell all goods as Cheap as can be got elsewhere. DKESS-M AKINO done to order and In the la test style, rsI get tho latest Fashions from New York every mouth. Goffering dune to order. In all widths. I will warrant all my work togivo sat isfaction. All work done as low as possible. ANNIE ICKE3, Cherry Street, near the Station, 6 16 13 Newport, Ia. CARLISLE CARRIAGE FACTORY. A. It, S1IERK has a large lot of second-hand work on hand, which he will sell cheap In order to make room for new work, FOR THE SPRING TRADE. He has. also, tho best lot ol NW WORK ON HAND. You can always see different styles. The materia Is not In question any more, Ua It Is the best used. If you want satisfaction In style, quality and price, go to this shop before purchasing elsewhere. There is no firm that has a better Trade, or sells more In Cumberland and Ferry counties. REPAIRING AND PAINTING promptly attended to. Factory Corner of South and Pitt Streets, 3 dp C'AKLISIjK, PA. lI21tllY COUNTY Real Estate. Insurance, CLAIM AGENCY. LEWIS POTTER & CO., Real Estate Broken, Insurance, Sc Claim Agent IVo-w Uloomlloltl, Pa. WE INVITE the attention of buyers and sell ers to the advantages we offer them in pur chasing or disposing of real estate through our of fice. AVe have a very large list of deslrab property, consisting of farms, town proerty. mills, store and tavern stands, and real estate of any descrlp. tlon which we are prepared to offer at great bar- f;alns. We advertise our property very extenslve y, and use all our efforts, skill, and dllllgence to effect ft sale. We make no charges unless the property is sold while registered with us. We also draw up deeds, bonds, mortgages, andall legal pa pers at moderate rates. Home of the best, cheapest, and most rellabfe fire, life, and cattle Insurance companies In the United States are represented at this agency. Property insured either on the cash or mutual plan, and perpetually at 84 and IS per thousand. reunions, bounties, and all kinds of war olalms collected. There are thousands of soldiers and. heirs of soldiers who are entitled to pensions aud' bounty, who have never made application. Hoi dlers.lf you were wounded, ruptured, orcontract ed a disease In the service from which you are dis abled, you are entitled to a pension. When widows of soldiers die or marry, the minor children are entitled to the jwnslou. ral lies having any business to transact in our hie, are respectfully Invited to give us a call, as we are confident we can render satisfaction lu any branch of our business. - No charge for Information. 20 ly LEWIS FOTTEIt & CO. jOBINSON HOUSE, (Formerly kept by Woodruff and Tttrbett,) ATt Elootnfleld, retry County, Pa. AMOS ROBINSON, Proprietor. . This well known 'and pleasantly located hotel, has been leased for a number of years by the pres ent proprietor.and he w 111 spare no pains to accom modate his guests. The rooms are comfortable, the table well furnished with the best In the mar ket, and the bar stocked with choice liquors. A careful and attentive hostler will be In attendance. A good livery stable will be kept by the proprietor April 3. 1871. tf v , I.U UMAX'S Writing- IJ'liiia ! TniB FLUID Is warranted EQUAL to Arnold's and Is sold at inuoh less prlee. The money ' will 'be refunded to those buying It, If It doss not prove entirely satisfactory. IV For sale by V. Mortimer, New BloomOeld. MILLER ELDER, Bole Agents, W Market Street,-, S30S1 Philadelphia,
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