2 ljc GKmcs, IXm Blaomftclir, Jcu A Singular Duel. IN tho north of Ireland resided ft singu lar character named Fookg. With the young people he was an especial favorite. No bettor partner in "Sir Roger de Over ly," or morrior opponent in the game of ' " Matrimony," could be found in tho en tire country; while his skill in making "hurleys" for the boys, and carving wood en babies for the girl, secured for him a wide-spread popularity among the rising generation. By common consent he was known in this neighborhood as "Holy Fooks," and this epithet was bestowed not in ridicule, but as a sincere acknowledg ment of his singular blameless and useful life. Perhaps it was also meant to com memorate a peculiarity in his character he was never known to fight. From the tithe-proctor, whom he hospitably enter tained and rogularly paid an unprecedent ed line of conduct, which caused that much enduring man to exclaim, "Sure Barnagore would be a heaven upon earth if every man in it was like Holy Fooks" from the tithe-proctor down to the urchins, whom he often caught snaring hares or cutting sticks in his wood, he never abused or quarreled with any one. Yet Holy Fooks was no coward that tho poor widow at tho mill could testify, whoso fair-haired hoy ho had saved from drowning by jumping into tho mill-pond at tho imminent risk of his life. And when Tom Maloncy's house was burned, who but Holy Fooks could bo found to trend tho falling floor; and whilo with one hand clinging to tho blackened rafters, with tho other to seize in succession three children, and hand them safely to those outside ? Mr. Fooks, in short, was that, I grieve to say, anomalous character in Ireland a brave, good man, who would not fight ! Tho estato which bounded his had lain, I have said, for some timo unocupiod; but at length a tenant for it appeared in tho person of a professed duelist from Tiperary, ' who having mado even that fiery locality too hot too hold him, and possessing as much money as impudence, resolved to set tle at Bamagorc, and break fresh ground among its quiet inhabitants. Tom Magen nis, for such was his namo, had not long been settled in his new residence cro ho managed to establish several " very pretty quarrels" with his neighbors. Ho was an unerring shot, seldom failing to kill his man at any number of paces, and was as prone to take offense as the famous Fight ing Fitzgerald. He challenged one young gontleman for accidentally touching him with his whip, as they were leaping togeth er across a stream, whilo following the hounds. All attempts at a reconciliation were rejected by the scornfull bully. They met; and an hour afterwards a fine lad, tho hope of his house, was carried homo a lifeless corpse. The neighboring gentlemen tried to send Hagonnis to " Convontry," but it would not do; he was a man of good family, and tried to maintain his position in society lit erally at tho point of the sword. Every one wished hira away, but who was to "bell the cat?" It happened that a small field, belonging to Mr. Fooks, lay near tho upper corner of Mr. Magennis's lawn, to which the latter wished to have it annexed. He according ly wrote a letter, couched in a very high and mighty stylo, requiring his pacific neighbor to sell him tho piece of ground in question. A polite reply in the negative was returned; and Magennis, boil . ing with rage at having his will opposed, hastened to seek an interview with Mr. Fooks. He found that gentleman seated in his pleasant parlor, surrounded by his books; and after the first salutations had passed, Magonnis began abruptly. " Mr. Fooks, am I to understand from your letter that you refuse to lot mo have the lawn field ?" " Certainly, sir; I have no intention what ever of parting with it." " But I toll you that I want it, and have it I willl" "I should bo sorry," said Mr. Fooks, ' mildly, "to disoblige a neighbor; but I am sure Mr. Magennis you will see the impropriety of pressing tho matter further when I repeat that I am quite determined not to sell the field." " You won't sell it ?" "No, sir." "Then," said Mr. Magennis, with a fear ful imprecation, "if you don't give me the field you shall give me the satisfaction; and maybe I'll find your 'heirs, executors, ad ministrators and assigns,' easier to deal with.'" A quiet smile passed over the counte nance of Fooks. , " Do you mean Mr. Magennis, that you wish me to light a duel ?" "Certainly; name your friend, and I'll send mine to meet bim." " I am no( much versed in these matters, said Fooks, ," but I have a right to select the weapons and the place of meeting ?' "Oh, certainly: nothing can be fairer, . Choose what you like, my boy; the sooner the better." And the bully rubbed his hands with de light, at the prospect of slaying another man. , "Then," said Mr. Fooks, "I wish, to dispense entirely with seconds, to fight on horseback, and to arrango that each of us can come armed with whatever weapons we may choose. Let the place of meeting be the wide common betwoon the school house and tho mill; tho time twelve o'clock to-morrow; and let him who is first driven off the Hold be doolared the vanquished." " Quoer arrangements as ever I hoard," said Magennis. "Why, my good fellow, don't you know that if I come armed with a long sword, and mounted on my hunter Highflyer, I'll ride you down, and split you like a lark before you can say Jack Robin son P However, that's your look out, and not mine; so of courso I agree to what you propose, and have the honor to wish you a very good morning. He then walked away, marveling much at tho coolness of his antagonist, and think ing what fun he would have on tho morrow. Every one ho met was told of the jest, and invited to witness tho combat. Groat was the consternation caused by the news through Barnagore. "To think," said Mr. Penroso, one of the chief land proprietors, " that our own honest Holy Fooks, who would not willing ly offend a worm, is to bo slaughtered by a scoundrel ; it mustn't be. I'll go to him and offer to fight him in bis stead." Accordingly ho repaired to the dwelling of Mr. Fooks, and found that gentleman as tranquilly occupied with his books as when he was visited by Magennis in tho morn ing. " A bad business this, Fooks," said Mr. Penroso, "a very bad business. Why, man, rather than you should meet Magen nis, I'll fight tho rascal myself." "Thank you, my friend," replied Mr. Fooks; "I feel most grateful for your kind ness; but since Mr. Magennis has chosen to tako causeless offence, I am resolved to give him tho meeting ho desires. Perhaps," ho added smiling, " the result may bo better than you expect." "Oh, my dear Fooks," said his friend, don't, I beseech you, build on that, Tho follow is a regular assassin, and if ho had his deserts would long since have gained promotion at tho hangman's hands. How ever, there will be a score or two of your friends on the ground to soo fair play, and have satisfaction from him for your death." With this somewhat equivocal piece of consolation, and a hearty shake of the hand, Mr. Penrose took leave of his friend, who during the remainder of the day, stayed within doors, and declined seeing any visi tors. On the following morning, a large con course of people, including, indeed, nearly every inhabitant of the parish, assembled on tho common to witness tho approaching combat. Long and loud were tho lamen tations of the poorer people, who had ex perienced much kindness from Mr. Fooks at tho fato which awaited him; whilo the deepened tones and darkened looks of tho gentlemen testified their sympathy with him and their utter abhorrence of his an tagonist. Prcoisoly at twelve o'clock tho following morning, Magennis appeared on tho field mounted on a splendid blood horse; a dag ger was stuck in his belt, and ho brandish' ed an enormous two-edged sword in his hand Ho cast a scornful glance around and not seeing his opponent, exclaimed, without ad dressing any one in particular: " I thought the cowardly fool would be afraid to meet me; but if he sneaks away, perhaps one of his friends (with a sarcastio emphasis) will take his placo." "Here ho comes himself 1" cried a boy, throwing up his hat; and a general cheer announced tho approach of Holy Fooks. Ho advanced rapidly, mounted on a Kerry pony of so diminutive a size that its rider's foet were little raised above the ground. He was completely enveloped in an ample crimson dressing gown, which waved and flaunted in the breeze after a singular fash' ion. In his right hand he bore some thing which had the appearance of a very long lance; but which having both extrem ities covered by the extended folds of the dressing gown, was not as yet clearly visi ble. With his loft hand he shoek tho bridle, and urged his tiny steed toward the sjot where stood the astonished Magennis. Whatever tho latter gontleman may have thought of Mr. Fooks' costume, his nettled horse seemed to have formed his own pri vate opinion on the subject; for no sooner did the gandy dressing gown flaunt before his eyes than he started, shied, and began to prance in a manner which caused his rider to exclaim, with an expletive too forcible for transcription: .. " What's the meaning of tbUbufTooucry ? Come and meet me like a man I" " Always happy to oblige a friend," said Mr. Fooks, and suddenly throwing back the offensive garment, he raised bis weapon, and shook it full in the face of his adversary. It was a long, slender polo, having atone end a distended bladder filled with dried peas. A fearful thing it looked in the eyes of Highflyer; and so appalling to his ears was the rattling noise it made, that despite the furious efforts of his master, he fairly bolted, turned tall, and galloped at full peed across the common. After him rode Fooks, tliaking his rattle, and shouting: ' "Come back, Mr. Magennis I come back! 'TIs a shame for you, man, to be afraid of a dressing gown and a child' rattle 1" Faster and faster flew the affrighted horse, bearing the enraged master beyond "the sound of the inextinguishable laughter which hailed his defeat, and the boundless triumph of Holy Fooks. President Jackson Didn't Under stand French. HENRY A. WISE, of Va., has pub lished a volumo of " Recollections," from which we , take this good one on President Jackson : But, on another occasion, his ignorance of language did entangle him in a ridicu lous mistake, and almost in a scrape. Du ring his administratiton, while Mr. Louis McLane, of Delaware, was Secretary of State, Franco sent a certain dashing min ister , to Washington, a young man just elevated above the grade of Charge, whoso passion was display. His outfit of equi page, grooms postillions and gold lace was magnificent. Ho callod on tho Searetary of State to appoint an audience with the President ; and Mr. McLane, an accom plished, easy gontleman, begged him to call the next morning at 10 o'clock at the State office, and ho would accompany and present him to the President. Monsieur le Miniature mistook as to the placo of calling. He thought he was to call at tho President's mansion at 10 o'clock A. M. Accordingly, in full panoply of costume, in conch-and-four, with attend ants, grooms, postillions, out-riders and footmen, at the hour appointed ho drove up to the door of tho White House, instead of tho State Department where Mr. McLano was awaiting his arrival. At that time tho President was served by a French cook, and tho celebrated Irishman, Jemmy O'Neal, was General Jackson's petted major domo. Tho hour was about tho timo of Gonoral Jackson's finishing puff of the pipo after breakfast, and he smoked, as ho did everything else with all his might. His mode was no Latakia curl, no dreamy, thready line from barely open ed lips ; but a full drawing and expanding volumo of white cloud rising up whiff after whiff, puff after puff, and bowl and stem and pipo all smoked as hard and fast as they could, and tho firo was red and the ashes hot, and the whole room was so ob fuscated that one could hardly breatho its atmosphere or see. His usual modo of sitting while smoking, was with his left leg thrown across tho right, and the loft toe brought behind the right bendo-Achilles, and tho long pipo stem resting on tho fork or crotch of tho two knees, and reaching nearly to the floor. Ho smoked the old Powhatan bowl, with red stem very long. In this attitude he was sitting and smoking whilo Mr. McLane was waiting at tho State Office for Mr. Minister, and whilo Mr. Minister was riding up to tho Presidential Mansion. He arrived tho French cook in tho kitchen, Jemmy O'Neal about his busi ness, and General Jackson alone in his of fice. A bustle was mado, bell began to ring, Jemmy was summoned to tho door, and there presented itself all this parade. Tho divil tho word could Jemmy under stand, and the best ho could do was to run up stairs to the General and announce somebody very grand, but Jemmy winked that all didn't seem right, as there seem ed too much fuss for that soon in tho mor nig, and it might bo, after all, an imposi tion. "Och, there was no telling about the thing, it was so unusual I" It might turn out what afterwards occurred a Law rence affair 1 The General quietly replied, "Oh, Jemmy, show the stranger up we will see who it is." Jemmy ran, and Jack son sat smoking, when presently tho room door was thrown wide open, and a manikin of gold lace entered, cocked hat, with bul lion and white foather, flourished in hand, making a salaam to tho right and a salaam to the left with tremendous sweeps, whiz ring and whirring French with vehement gesture, and approaching nearer and near er ; it seemed threatening in the extreme ! Tho president quit smoking, beat the bowl of his pipe in his hand, rose quickly, took hold of tho back of tho chair, and ex claimed with a strong voice. "By tho eternal gods, Jimmy O'Neal, who is this?" Jemmy, with eyes and oars open, and hands ready, was amazedly looking on, when, fortunately, he bethought him of tho French cook, who with his shirtsleeves rolled up to his shoulders, and just as ho was be sprinkled white with flour, ran up with Jemmy, arriving just in timo to savo Mr. Minister's pato from lieing smashed by the chair in General Jackson's hands. "MonDieul" exclaimed tho cook ; "it is the grand Minister of Louis Phillippo 1" "Oh 1" said tho General ; "walk in, sir, there is no ceremony here I" and he was about taking the Minister by both hands Just as Mr. McLano entered to sco the mistake, to witness tho prevention of tho catastrophy, and to enjoy the joke, which made him a thousand times afterward "shake" with jollity "like a bowlful of Jolly." -. ' , VfT A gentleman was introduced to young lady recently, and addressed her as follows; " Where do you live wheu you aro at home?" to which she replied, "When I am at home I live there." t7"The rose has its thorn, the diamond its speck, and the best man his failing. SUNDAY BEADING. Two Kinds of Riches. A littlo boy sat by his mother. He look ed long iu the fire, and was silent. Then, as the deep thought began to pass away, his eye grow bright, and he spoke. " Mother I wish to be rich." "Why do you wish to be rich, my son?" "Because everyone praises the rich. Everyone one inquires after the rich. The stranger at our table yesterday asked who was the richest man in the village. At school there is a boy who does not love to loam. He takes no pains to say his lessons well. Sometimes he speaks evil words. But tho children blame him not, for they say he is a wealthy boy." i no motner saw mat ner cmia was in danger of belioveing that wealth might take the place of goodness, or bo an excuso for in dolcnce or cause them to be held in honor who led unworthy lives. So she asked him : "What is it to be rich?" "I do not know," he answored. "You toll me how I may become rich, that all may osk after me." "To become rich," replied the mother, " is to got money. For this you must wait until you are a man." Then tho boy looked sorrowful and said: " Is there not somo other way of being rich, that I may begin now ?" "ies, my boy she answered. "The gain of money is not tho only nor tho true wealth. Fires may burn it, the floods drown it, the winds sweep it away, moth and rust waste it, and tho robber mako it his prey. Men aro wearied witli tho toil of getting it, but they leave it behind them at last. They die, and carry nothing away. The soul of the richest princo goeth forth like that of tho waysido beggar, like a garment . Thero is another kind of riches which is not kept in the purso, but in the heart. Thoso who possess them aro not always praised by men, but they have tho praise of God." Too Much for the Devil. This is Edward Halo's story : A man had sold himself to the devil who was to pos sess him at a certain timo unless ho could propound a question to his Satanic Majesty which ho could answer, ho being allowed to put three queries to him. The time came for the devil to claim his own, and he con scqucntly appeared. Tho first question the man asked was concerning theology, to which it caused the devil no trouble to roply. The second ho also answered without hesitation. The man's fato do. ponded upon the third. What should it bo ? Ho hesitated and turned pale, and tho cold dew stood on his forehead, whilo ho shivered with anxiety, nervousness and terror, and tho devil triumphantly sneered. At this juncture the man's wifo appeared in the room with a bonnet on her head, Alarmed at her husband's condition, she demanded to know the cause. When in formed, she laughed and said, " I can pro pound a question which tho devil himself cannot answer. Ask him which is the front of this bonnet ?" The devil gave it up and retired in disgust and tho man was free. The Devil's Servant. Many years ago, when as yet thore was but one church in tho town of Lyme, Con necticut, the peoplo wore witlio ut a pastor. They had been for a long time destitute, and now wore on tho point of making a unanimous call for a very acceptable preach er, when across-grained man, named Doir began a violont opposition to the candi date, rallied a party, and threatened to defeat the settlement. At a parish meet ing, whilo the matter was under discussion, a half-witted fellow roso in tho house and said ho wanted to toll a dream he had last night. Ho thought ho died, anil went away whero the bad peoplo go, and as soon as Satan saw him, "ho asked me whore I canio from." "From Lyme, in Connecticut," I told him right out. All I and what aro they doing at Lyme?' ho asked. f'They are trying to settle a minister," I said. "Settle a minister!" ho cried out. "I must put u stop to that I Bring mo my bootH ; I must go to Lymo this very night I" 1 then told him as ho was drawing on his boots, that Mr. Dorr was opposing tho settlement, and very likely he would pre vent it altogether. " My urtant Don !" exclaimed his maj esty ; Here tako my boots ; if my servant Dorr is at work, tnvre is no need of my going at all I" This speech did the business. Mr. Dorr made no more opposition ; the minister was settled, but his opponent carried the titlo " my servant Dorr" with hira to tho grave. CV It does not require much religion to cry salvation, or hallelujah, or glory to God, or praise the Lord at the top of your voice. Most any one can do that. Bo not deceiv ed. You may do alt that, and use all the vain repetitions you can, and not have reli gion. It is the pure in heart who shall see God. Neto Advertisement. TIIE CATSB AN1 CUttB OF CONSUMPTION? rpHE primary canse of Connmptlon is do X rangement of the dlgestlvs organs. This derangement produces deficient nutrition and assimilation. By assimilation. I mean thai process by which the nutriment of the food is converted into blood, and thence into the solids of the body. Persons with digestion thus lm paired, having the slightest predisposition to pulmonary disease, or if they take cold, will be TftrV llahlrt n h... PnH.nm n. I ... .1.1 t in some of Its forms and I hold that It will be Impossible to cure any case of Consumption without first restoring a good digestion and healthy assimilation. The very first thing to bo done li to cleanse the stomach and bowels lrom ail diseased mucus and slime, which is clogging these organs so that they cannot por form their functions, and then rouso op and restore the liver to a healthy action. For this purpose the surest snd best remedy is Schenck's Mandrake Fills. These Fills clean the stom ach and bowels of all the dead and morbid slime that Is causing disease and decay In tho whole system. They will clear out the liver of all diseased bile that has accumulated there, and rouse It up to a new and healthy action, by which natural and healthy bile Is secreted. The stomach, bowels, and liver are thns cleansed by the use of Schenck's Mandrake Fills ; but there remains in the stomach an ex cess of acid, tho organ Is torpid and tho appe tite poor. In tlx bowels the lacteals are weak, and requiring strength and support. It Is in a condition like this that Schenck's Seaweed Tonic proves to be the most valuable remedy ever discovered. It is alkaline, and its nse will neutralize all excess of acid, making the stomach sweet and fresh it will give perma nent tone to this important organ, and create a ?;ood, hearty appetite, and prepare the system or the first process of good digestion, and, ul timately make good, healthy, living blood After this preparatory trcatmcnt,wlmt remains to cure most case of Consumption Is the free nnd perseverelng uso of Sc.honk's Pulmonic Syrup. The Pulmonic Syrup nourishes the system, purifies thu blood, and is readily ab sorbed into the circulation, and thence distrib uted to the diseased lungs. There it ripens all morbid mutters, whether In the form of absces ses or tubercles, and then assists Nature to ex pel nil tho diseased matter, In the form of free expectoration, when once It rlpem. It is then by the grent healing and puryfying properties of Schcnk's Pulmonic Syrup, that all ulcers and cavities arc healed up sound, and my pa tient Is cured. The essential thing to bo done In curing Con sumption is to get up a good appetite and a good digestion, so that tho body will grow in flesh and get strong. If a person has diseased lungs a cavity or abscess there rho cavity cannot heal, the matter cunnnt ripen so long as the system is below par. What Is necessary to cure is a new order of things a good appe tite, o good nntrition, the body to grow in flesh nnd get fat; then Nature Is helped, the cavities will heal, the matter will ripen and be thrown oir in largo quanties, and the person will regula health and sterength. This Is the true and on ly plun to cure Consumption, and if a person is not entirely destroyed, or even If one lung is entirely gone, if there is enough vitality left in the other to heal up, there Is hope. I have seen many persons cured with enly one sound lung, live and enjoy life to a good old age. This Is what Schenck's Medicines will do to cure Consumption. They will clean out tho stomach, sweeten and strengthen it, get up a good digestion, and give Nuture the sys tem of all the diseases she needs to clear the system of all the disease that Is In the lungs, whatever the form maybe. It is Important that while using Schenck's Medicines, carp should be exercised not to take cold: keep In-doors in cold and damp weather avoid night air, and take out-door exercise only in a genial and warm sunshine. I wish it distinctly understood ihct when I recommend a patient to be careful In regard to taking cold, while uslug my Medicines, I do so for a special reason. A man who has but par tially recovered from the effects of a bad cold Is fur more liable to a relapse tuan ono who has been entirely cured nnd It Is precisely the same In regard to Consumption. So long as the lungs are not perfectly healed, just so long Is there imminent danger of a full return of the disease. Hence it Is that I so strenuously caution pul monary patients against exposing themselves to an atmosphere that Is not genial and pleas ant. Con firmed Consumptives' lungs are a mass of sores, which tho least change of at mosphere will iullnme. The grand secret of my success with my Medicines consists iu my abil ity to snbduo Inflammation instead of provok ing it, as many of the faculty do. An inflamed lung cannot, with safety to the patient, be ex- fiosed to the biting blasts of Winter or the calli ng winds of Spring or Autumn. It should be carefully shielded from all Irritating influnces. The utmost caution should bo observed in this particular, as without It a cure under almost any circumstances Is an impossibility. , The person should be kept on wholesome and nutritious diet, and all the Medicines continued until the body has restored to it the natural quantity of flesh and strength. I wus myself enred by this treatment of the worst kind of Consumption, and have lived te get fat nnd hearty these many years, with one lung mostly gone. I have cured thousands since, and very many have been cured by this. treatment whom I have never seen. About the First of October I expect to tako possession of my new building, at the North east Corner of Sixth and Arch Streets, where i shall be pleased to give advice to all who may rccj n I re it. Full directions accompany all my Remedies, so that a person in auy part of the world can be readily cured by a strict observance of the same. J. II. SCIIENCK, M. D., Philadelphia. -.IoiiNON, Hou.owAV & Cowiikn, 6u2 Arch Street, Philadelphia, Wholesale AKaiit. 6 23 1 A'. X. llEVOLviuiS! The New X I. Itevolver, No. 1 22100 Cal., No. 2 22-1(10 Cal., short. No. 8 .121(10 Cal., Iuiik, No. 4 SH OD Cal., for Pocket ltevolvera, are unsurpassed. They use the ordinary Copper CartrldKO and are beautiful In sliaiw and niilalu The UALLAUII lUilt UIN(J Kit 41-11 0 Cal., hax no enual as a Derringer. Full and complete stock of GUNS, KWIX, PI8TOI.H, AMUNITION ANI' HPOKTMEN'H 0001)8, MANUFACTURED BY MKUWIN ft HUI.BHKT, 8.1 Chambers and 65 lleade Streets., fiend lor Catalogues. (40am) NEW YOKE. JOBINBON HOUSE, (Formerly kept by Woodruff and Turbett,) .Vtif JlloomJUld, Ftrry County, Pa. AMOS ROBINSON, Proprietor. This well known, snd pleasantly located hot has been leased for a number of years or the pre, ent proprietor. and he will spare mi pains U accom module his (fuesu. The rooms am comfortable, the table well furnished with the best in the mar ket, and the bar stucked with choice liquors, A esreful and attentive hostler will b InalUtndanon. A giiod vwy "table will be kept by the proprietor. April S, J871, t TADIES AND CHILDREN will find j splendid assortment of shoe at the- one price store of P. Mortimer A Co.
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