, Philadelphia Advertisements.
c. i ioricairr & mtos.
Wholejulo DuilciA hi
FISH,
CllCCHC
. . AND
IT'i'ovir-tioiiH,
114 South Itolaware Avcnno,
. : i . 4 Below Chestnut St.-
PHILADELPHIA, 1A.
Agents for
Collins, GeuMcs & Co's Cnniiril Fruits.
X041tl
A. B. Cunningham. J. II. Lcwars. J. S.Glcim,
Cunningham, Gleim & Co.,
Wholesale Dealers in
Tobacco, Scgars, &c,
NO. 4, NORTH FIFTH STREET,
F1IIIAIKI'I'IIA.
32310
Peterson's Magazine.
CHEAPEST AND BEST OF ALL I
Splendid Offers for 1872.
TUTS popular monthly Magazine gives more for
the money than any In the wnild. It Is the
ls-st colored fashions, the best original stories,
and the ls-st engravings of any lady's hook. Great
nnd costly Improvements w ill be made In lS72,whcn
it will contain
ONE THOUSAND PAGES!
FOURTEEN SPLENDID STEEL l'LATES?
TWELVE COLORED BERLIN PATTERNS!
TWKLVK MAMMOTH COLORED FASHIONS?
ONE THOUSAND WOOD CUTS!
TWENTY-FOUR l'A(iKS OF MUSIC!
All this will be given for only two dollars a year,
or a dollar less than Magazinus of, the class of
Petersons." Its
THUILLINO TALKS AND NOVELETTES
Are the liest published anywhere. All the most
popular writers are employed to write originally
for " Peterson." In 1 S72, the addition to its usual
tunntltyof short stories, Five Original Copyright
Novelettes will lie (riven, viz: Bought With a
Price, by Ann S. Stephens; The Island of Dia
monds, 1v Harry Danfortli ; Once too Often, by
Frank Ie Benedict: Lindsay's Luck, by Miss 1.
Hodgson ; and A Wife, by the author of The Sec
ond Life.
MAMMOTH COLORED FASHION l'LATES
Ahead of all others. These plates are engraved
on steel, twiee the usual size, and contain six Mg
ures. They will lie siiiei'bly colored. Aim sever
al pages of Household and other recipes; in short,
everything Interesting to ladies.
TEUMS A LWAYS 1 N A 1 1VANCE.
One eoiv, for one year, S2. Ud ; Five copies, for
one year, ss.ou; Eiglit copies, one year, (fliuu.
SUPERB PREMIUM ENGRAVING !
Fvcry person (ri'lt lug nil a :luD of live at Sl.W)
each, or elglit at llfsi each, will be entitled to an
extra copy of the magazine for lK7i and also to a
eopvof the superb parlor mezzotint (size 2t Inch
es liy IS) "Five Times to One Day," which, at a
store, would cost four dollars.
,SH'clnicns sent, gratis to those wishing to
get up Clubs. Address,
CHARLES J. PETERSON.
No. aim Chestnut St., Philadelphia.
rhotographs !
riiotosrnphs !
JACOB VOBL1S,
Photographic Artist,
NEWPORT, VENN' A.
THE subscriber would respectfully call tho at
tention of the citizens of this eouiitv to the
fact that he Is prepared to take VHOTOURAl'llH
in the best style of the art. Ills long experience
enables liiin to produce
riCTUUKS
wmrii casnot he ex-
VKI.LKD.
All persons are requested to call at his rooms nnd
examine specimens.
Particular attention given to copying likenesses
of deceased persons, and great care will bo taken
to furnish
. Good Pictures of Children.
Framing material and a good assortment of frames
always on hand, and for sale at low prices.
JACOB COIiLE,Artlnt,
Newport, Ferry Co., Pa
Those Old Clothes
Need 1 worn no longer, as the snbserlliers aro
now prepared with a lull slock of Fall Casslmers
from which they make clothing to order. II a gar
mriit made by us docs not lit It,
Can be Exchanged for
One which will give entiro satisfaction.
Full New Suits
Made at short nolle, and In a superior manner.
As we have the regular monthly Fashion Reports,
those who desire can have lliclr garments
Cut in the Latest Style!
We ask all wanting Clothing to call and exam
ine our assortment of goods suited for Mens' and
uud Hoys' wear, ami see specimens of our work,,
K. MORTIMER Si CO..
New Bloomllelil, I'.
NOTU'KTOINVAi.ll PKNHIONKItS.
Thousands of Soldiers who r now drawing
Invalid Pensions are entitled to Increase. All Pen
sioners who liellnve their Pensions loo small, can
now have them increased by making uppucstiuu
lo
i.KWi I in ir-'t,
Claim Agent, .
New lllooDilleld, Pa.
6 .'17 6t
A GREAT MEDICAL DISCOVERY
Dr. WALKER'S CALIFORNIA '
VINEG-AR BITTERS
34
o 3
Hundreds of Thousands S jf j
Dear testimony to thf lr Wonder.
fulCurstlv KffocU.
WHAT ARE THEY?
II!
l!5
iJ
6 E z
i s
THEY ARB KOT A VILE
.11 FANCY DRINK,
Made or Poor Rum, Whisker. Pronf (spirits
uud licfiiso l.iquurs doctored, spiced and sweet
mcd to plcDBOtlio taBto, cr.llcd"TonlcB,""Arpct:z
crc," " ItcBtorcra," c, that lead tho tippler cn to
drunkenness and rnin, ton urc-a trno Medicine, nicuo
from tho Nntlvo ltoots end Herns of California, free
from nil Alcoholic. Stimulants. Thcycio t:.o
Git EAT lil.OOI) l'l!ltli'li:il nnd A LIFE
C.1VINO PKINCI l'LB a perfect Innovator t:.d
lnvlgorator cf t!ic feytuni, carrying otf all po.sar.o;..!
matter und restoring tliu Lluod to n hcaltliycor.Cit:c.:.
No person can tilio Micro Bitten according to t.;rec
tlon and remain long unwell.
, 6100 will bo given foran Incnrallo cane, rr.vICtd
tho bones aro not destroyed by i:.l:icr:.l j - :.r:i or
other means, and tho vital organs vtbUd i.Lc..dl'..o
point of ronalr.
' For Inflninmittoi' nnd Chronic Kliccinn
tinm nnd Uout. Dyspepsia, or lndiuestiou,
llilioiiMi lceinitletit and Intermitiont Fovcru
Discuses ot iho ltlood, Liver, Kidneys, and
llladilcr, theEo ItiltciB liavo been most tnccctc
fnl. Such Diseases aro canted ly Vitiated
Blood, which ia generally produced by derangement
of the Ditestlve Ol-ftauH.
WVSFEl'S-IA 'l lXDKJESTfON, Head
ache. Pain in tho Biioul, rrr,. Coughs, TlKlitucss of tho
Chest, Dizziness, bour Kructatlor.s cf tho btoniach,
Ilad teste in tho Mouth, Villous Attacks, Palpitation
nf the Heart, Inflammation cf the Lungs, Pain il tl-.o
rcglonB of tho Kidneys, and a hundred other polul
eymptoms, are tlio oilbprlnnaof UyBpcpiic.
Ttiey lnvigoratu tho Btoninch and tlimulata ti.o tor
pid liver and bowels, which render them of unequalled
cUlcacyln clcaneln;c tho blued of all impurities, and
Imparting now Lfo and vlor to tho vliolo system.
FOIlHIilN DISEA8KS, Eruptions, Totter, Enlt
llheam, Ulotthes, I .'puts, Pluiplcs, Pustules, Bolls, Car
banclcs, illng-Woimr;, Cci'lu-llcnd, Coro Eyes, Erysip
elas, Itch, Scurfs, Decolorations of thoBUlu, Humors
and Diseases of tho bUlu, of whatever uauio or naturo,
aro literally tl'ig up and carried out of tho system In a
short time by the '190 of these Utters. Ono bottlo in
each cases will convince tho most incredulous ci their
curative effect.
Clcanso tho Vitiutcd Blood rhcncvcr you find Its
Impurities liurr.ti:ig t!ircn;;li tho a!:In In I'ltnplcs, Erup
tions or Pores ; cleanse It when yon nnd it obstructed
and tlusfclr.li ia tiiu veins ; clcnmio it when it Is foul,
and your feel!'.!: will tell you when. Kcop tlio blood
puro and the lu <h cf tlio ryateiu will follow.
PIN, TAPE and other W'OICMS, lurl;in(t In tl'.o
cystcm cf so many tiiouj'a:id:i, aro utTctually destroy
ed and renicvtd. I'or r..!l dlrcetlcnn, read carefully
tbo circular nrouud each but:le, printed in four Ian
guagcsEhgliHh.Oeruir.a, i' n.beh ;u.d bpunisll.
J.WALKER, l'loprliter. P.. 11. McDOSALD i CO.,
DrugRlsu and tlen. Auetits. ban Francisco, Cel.,
and Wand 81 Couumuco btreet, licwtoi-.
CVBOLD BY ALL DKUCCilUTS AND D:;.EI.3.
1780 TAKE NOTICE. 1871
Are You Afflicted or Sick ?
PAIIRNEY'S
BLOOD CLEANSER
OH
V A N A C 1Z A. !
N Alterative nnd Cathartic, or Tonic nnd
Purge, for discuses arising from bad blood.
This nrcnuratlon was established In 1870,and
lins been prcpnred In limtkl form for more than
lBVears. in January or reuruary, icu, uuom-
cr party commenced to prepare a similar article
which Is inferior to the genuine, and which
should not bo mistaken for ours. Ask for "Ult.
Fahiiney'8 Blood Cleanser or Panacea,"
nnd accent no others.
Tho Trade Mark ol the ouicsi ana. genuine,
Is minted In nreen on a yellow wrapper, hav
ing also the signature of P. Fabrney, M.D.,
Chicago.
' Dr. r. FahmeyU Health MciMnqer" gives
the history and ubcs of the Blood Cleanser,
testimonials, nnd other information, sent free
charge. Address
l)n. P. Faiiunev's Brothers A Co.,
Wavnesboro. Franklin County, Pa.
Ask for Dr. Fahrney's Blood Cleanser und
CI,EANSK VOUll 1ILOOU.
8old everywhere and In New Bloomflcld
by F. MoitTiMF.it Co., only. 0 18
The I'oiiiiNylvniiia
Cattle Insurance Company.
Capital and Assets, $150,000.
Iiicoriioraiil hy thn Court of Common
Pleas of Schuylkill Co., Kov. 27, 'CO.
Incorporated by Legislature May 10,1871.
TT has now full power to Insure Buildings,
1 Merchandise and nil muds of Property
against rire, Btorms or 'tempests. aiso, to
Insure Horses uud Cattlo against Dentil or
Thett. The rates on Loan or Preferred Policies
are a littlo higher than any other company
doing business in the county ; but this cluss of
policy holders can borrow money any time me
Company can spare it out of its suplus assets,
and tlie money will bo loaned in rotation, so
that the first persons procuring loun policies
can be the first to borrow money if they need
it. Only
81X lKlt (,'KST, INTKIlJiKT
will be charged for money, and loans will be
made at all places that good agencies cun be
established, so that tho Company will be a
Homo Company wherever It docs business.
The Company will also take risks on the
common cash and mutual plans as cheap as
other reliable companies.
Tho Directors meet regularly on the second
Mouday ol every month.
JOHN D. HADESTT, President.
JAMES II. GK1ER, Secretary.
OfTlce, 308 Centre St., Pottsville, Pa.
5 29
I ll.T.KIHlMnl Pr ntlnr'Tieatlv
PRINTINCI
executed ut the "IlliXKiMI'lliLO
( Timks" Steam JokOrriiK.
ill
' Hi?.?
111
A GREAT OFFER! . v
ONLY ri FOR 111 IN VALUE ! OB. FOR M.
IIS IN VALVE. 01UJ5, 120IN VALUE I
THE beautiful and artistic Chromo, "Isn't Blie
Pretty?" lil ultly finished, mounted, ami varn
ished, size, 13x17 (nfter Llllle M. Silencer.) retail
price, ts, will bo sent l)y mail, securely done up,
post-free, as a premium to every 13 yearly subscii
ber to DEMOliEST'H MONTHLY, acknowledged
Hip mint lii-inl I f nl and imeful Parlor Magazine In
Amclicn
sn't She Pretty?" is a iieauiiiuiunrn-
mo und Splendid
l'arlor Picture, and a valuable
work of art, worth morn than Double tho Cost of
Subscription, and, together with DEMOltKST'rl
MONTHLY alfords nn opportunity for tho Invest
mentof 111 such as may never occur again i or, In
place or "ism nnc j renyT'' lor si aooiuouai,
Hiawatha's Wooing," (after Jerome Thompson),
size, lfx2fi. price, IIS, will be sent post-free ; or
ijotucnromos aim in'iiioresi s i,iuoi,iuy, 101 ,,n
year, for-.r. Hiawatha's Wooing is nn ciiually
splendid work of art, a large and beautiful Chro
me, aim worm lour nines nio innr unuiu,cu.
Husbands. Fathers, and Lovers, do not fail tosub-
scrlhe for Deniorest's Magazine, and present It
with a beautiful Chromo. It will mane eyes spars
lo with delight nnd satisfaction, and prove a
monthly reminder of your good taste and kind
feeling. Address W. .Ibnnisos Demouust, Kt8
llroaduav. New York. Con es of the latest num
bers of tho Magazine 25 cents each, post-free. 4S
HARDWARE!
HARDWARE!
rpiIE subscribers hnvs on hand at all times,
I as complete) nn assortment of Hardware
as can be found In tho county.
NAILS,
HINGES,
LOCKS, .
GLASS,
TAINTS & OILS,
and a fine assortment of all styles of
Bu ilders Ha rd ware,
Also,
CAllPENTER TOOLS,
TABLE CUTLERY,
COFFEE MILLS,
SPOONS,
SHOVELS,
HOES,
and a full stock of
Hardware of Every Description,
All of which will be sold at tho lowest market
prices. Persons wanting any nrticlo in this
line are requested to call and cxainiucour stock.
F. MORTIMER & CO.,
New Cloomi-ield, Pa.
English Roofing Felt
Is found to stand well In all climates, being ex
tensively used for Hooting Houses, Out-Hulld-ings
and Sheds; for Laying Flat Hoofs, Gutters,
Lining Granaries, eUorchouscs, or Walls,
(cither outside or inside), and for placiug un
der Slates or Tiles. It is also a cheap and
ell'cctivo Celling on tlio underneutli side of raf
ters of a Blutcd or Tiled Hoof, nnd as a Celling
to Iron Roofs, counteracting Heat, Frott, and
Condensation oi Moisture.
Tho English Felt Is put up In rolls of BS
yards In length, by 8'J Inches In width, and
containing a surfaeo of !2(X) siiiaro feet.
T1IKEE-PLY FELT FOR ROOFING.
In Rolls. 2fi Inches wide, by 60 feet In length;
each roll will cover a surfneo 10 feet square, or
100 square le.et.
It Is to be laid across the rooi, suingio iasu
Ion, with a lap of two Inches, and secured by
nailing tho edges witli 3d nulls nnd tin caps.
When luld, the Felt is to be painted witn
Mastic Roof Coating, and Sanded. Tho Mas
tic Roof Coating is mixed, ready for use, and
is applied with a brush.
TARRED ROOFING FELT.
Used extensively for Sheathing Houses, niM for
Tar and Gravel Roofing, also for placiug under
Blnto. Tin nnd Shingle Hooting.
It Is used lu packing Woolens and Furs to
protect them Irom mollis.
rut un in rons wci''iiing iu pounus cacn.
15 pounds Felt will cover a surface of 100
square feet.
TWO-PLY FELT,
For Sheathing Houses, Roofing Temporary
Buildings, making Water, Tight Floors, uud for
placing under Blnto ana Biungies.
In rolls. 20 Inches wide by 50 feet In length,
Eneh roll will cover a surface oi 10 iccisquaro
or 100 square feet.
For Sheathing It can be nailed upon the stud
ding, making a perfectly air tight sheathing,
and sure protection from dumbness. Ruts,
mice, or vermin will not go near it.
MICA CANVAS ROOFING,
In rolls containing 250 squnre feet. Is to be
laid across the roof, and lapped shingle, fash
ion with a lup of two Inches, and secured by
nailing tho edges with 20 oz. tacks.
1 his is tuo only composition iioonng mat
docs not require u ilulshlug coat of paint or
cement.
L'NTARRED SHEATHING FELT,
For Curtiet Lining, Deadening Floors, and for
putting under Slate, Tin und Shlnglo Roolliig.
Put up in rolls weighing iuu pounds.
10 pounds Felt will cover a surface 10 feet
square, or 100 square feet.
MANUFACTURED BY THE
PENN ROOFING CO
105 South 2ud Street,
5 33 2a PHILADKII'IIIA,
Pensions, Bounties, &c.
TTlDOWS. Minor Children, Mothers, Fathers.
W' .c.,of Soldiers who were killed or died of
disease coiuracicu in mw nervu-e in vim uuucu
States, call now make application for Pension.
Also Soldiers wlio conlniotcd disease or were
wsuiided. ruptured, or lu uuy way disabled in the
war oi istii. .,
When widows die or re-marry, the child or
children under sixteen years of ago are entitled to
Th'etl'n'e for tiling claims for additional bounty
has been extended six mouths.
Particular attention given toold suspended ease
In thedilloient departments at Washlngl I). 0
If you have, or think you have a claim against the
Government, call on or address the undersigned.
No charge for information. ,
IKWW POTTF.lt,
Attorney for Claimants,
4 31 NEW BLOOM FIELD, PA
NEW YORK
CONTINENTAL
Life
Insurance Company,
OF NEW YORK,
STllICTf. 1' M VTVA Jj I
AnncIh, H-1 ,f K,) !
ISSUES all the new forms of Policies, and pre
seats as favorable terms as any company In Hie
United States.
The Company will make temporary loans oh its
Policies.
Thirty days' grace allowed on each payment, and
the (Hilicy held good dining that time.
Policies issued by this Company are non-forfeiture.
No extra charges are made for traveling permits.
Policy-holders share in the annual prollts of the
Company, and have a voice In tho elections and
management of theC mnpany.
No H)llcy or medical feecharged.
.IirsTL'S Law iiknck. Pres't.
M. It. Wynkuo!', Vice Pres't.
J. l'.ltouEits, Bec'y.
J. F. EATON.
(Jeneral Agent,
No. (! North Third Street.
4.2!) yl) College Illock, Hanisburg, Pa.
rROSPECTUS FOR 1873.
FIFTH YEAR.
A Rcpi'osciiliitivp nnd Champion of Amer
ican Ait.
THE ALDINE:
An Illustrated Monthly Journal claimed to bo the
handsomest Paper lu the World.
"Olve inv love to the artist workmen of 77W
AI.DINK wliiiam striving to make their profes
sion worthy of admiration for beauty, as it bus al
ways been for usefulness." llenru 11 ura jieeciivr.
NEW FEATURES FOR 18T2.
ART I) KI'All'PM KNT.
As n L.onraiitce of the excellence of this depart-
meiit.the publishers would beg to announce dur
ing the coming year, specimens from the following
eminent American artists:
W. T. ltlchards, Granville l'ei Kins. .las. ninuny,
Win. Hart, F. O. C. D.uiey, K. E. Pignut, Win.
Heard. Victor Nehllg. Frank lleani, licit Miiuey,
Win. II . Wilcox. 1'aui jjixuii, Aug. vt in, Junius 11.
Beard and J. Hows.
These pictures are being reproduced regardless
of expense, by the verv best engravers lu the
country, und will bear the severest critical coin
paiison Willi the best foreign work, It Ising the
determination of the publishers that THE Al
III NK snail no a suceessiui vindication 01 jioici
Ican taste In competition with any existing publi
cation in the wurld.
LITERARY DEPARTMENT.
Where so much attention Is Paid to Illustration
and get up of the work, too much dependence oil
a liiK'nrancen mav very naturally lie, feared. To an
ticipate such misgivings, it is only necessary to
siaie, inai, iiie euuonai inaimiiiunb ci inc.
ALDINE has been Intrusted to Mr. Klclianl II
sioililaiil. who has received assurances of assist
mice from n host of the most popular writers and
poets oi tlie country.
THE VOLUME FOli IST'J
will contain nearly 300 pages, and !K0 linn engrav
ings. Commencing with the number for January,
every third number will contain a beautiful tinted
plcnireon piaie paior, inscncu as a uoniiiici..
Tlie Christmas number of WZ, will bu a splendid
volume In Itself, containing fifty engravings, (four
III tint) and. although retailed at 81, will bu sent
without extra charge to all yearly subscribers.
A CHROMO TO EVERY SUBSCRIBER
was a very popular feature last year, and will be
repeated Willi the pruscut volume. The publish
ers have purchased and reproduced, at great ex
pense, the lieautlfiil oil painting by Suis, entitled
''Daine Nature's School." The chromo is llxlli
Inches, and Is nn exact fac simile, in size and ap
pearance, of the original picture.
TERMS FOR 1872.
One Copy, one year, with Oil Chromo, VM
Five Copies " " Wl.Ou
Any person sending 10 names and f40 will receive
an extra copy gratis, making 11 copies for tlie
money. , ,
Any ierson wishing to work for apreniiim, can
have our premium circular on application. We
give many beaut iful and desirable articles olfered
by no oilier paier.
Any iH'rson wishing to act, permanently, as our
agent, will apply, with, rej'trenre, enclosing SI for
""1U JAMES SUTTON & CO.,
l'l IIII. ISII KltS.
23 Liberty Street, New York.
BLAIN ACADEMY!
THE FALL SESSION of this Institution will
oK'ii on
Wednesday, November 21st, 1871.
SUMMER SESSION of Five Months closes on
October 2uth, 1H71.
Whole number of Pupils In attendant' o during
Ten W
Average Attendance, 5C
Thankful for the patronage of the people, grate
fill for all favors, ami hoping that age may im
prove the school both in prestige and usefulness,
we promise to exert all our eilorls to secure the
advancement, intelligence, nnd general Interests
of the pupils entrusted to our charge.
GAUD. C. PALM, Principal.
W. L. llKicKl.KT, Assistant.
W. It. Cisna. M. D..of Ickesburg. lias been en.
faged for this Institution as l,ccturcron Anatomy,
hyslology, te. His lclures during tlie session
now closing, were Interesting ami instructive, ami
, ' seemed lo lie. appreciated by the Students and well
I received by llio iieopio. i-"
A' SIM.KSDITl HMOllTMUNrn
hlM.KNDlU iVwHOHTMKN X
13
ItY-iJOODC.
Suited to the Season,
Are Now Offered for Sale by
F. MOETIMSBjJb CO.
Hlago Line Ifc-tween Newport aiid New
Uermaniown.
CJTAGKH leave New Germaiitown dally at font
j o clock a. III. l.annisuiirgai i. no a. in. urecu
rk ut s a. iii. New llloointleld at UU a. in.
Arriving ut Newport to connect with tho Ac
mi,wul:Ltloii train East.
Ret iirnliig leaves Newport on the arrival Of the
Mall I rani Horn i-uiiaueiiinia, ni z.au u. in.
I. KICK, rroprktor,
nunoEou
tW An amusing instance of Hibernian
simplicity is given in tlio following littlo
story told us by a friend, in whoso words
wo givo it:
Molly, our housemaid, ia a model one,
who takes tho broomstick like) a sceptre,
nnd who lias an abhorrence of dirt and , a
sympathy for soapsuds that amounts to a
passion. She is a blustering, rosy-chcok-cd,
bright-eyed, blundering Hibernian, who
hovers about our book-shelves, making war
upon our law papers, in tho shape of mi
rightcd corners.
One day she entered our library in a con
fused and uncertain manner quito difl'erent
from lior usual bustling way. She stood
at tho door with a letter between her thumb
nnd finger, which sho bold ont at arm's
length, as if bIio bad a gunpowder plot in
her grasp. In answer to our inquiries as to
her business, she said :
" An' it plazo your honor, I'm a poor
girl as hasn't much larnin,' an' yo sees,
plazo yes honor, Paddy O'Reilcy (an' tho
better than him doesn't brathe in ould Ire
land) lias been writin' me a letter a love
letter, plazo yer honor, an' an' "
Wo guessed her embarrassment, and
ventured to relievo it by offering to read it
for her. Still sho hesitated, whilo she
twisted a bit of raw cotton between her
fingers.
"Sure," sho resumed, "an' that's list
what I want; but it isn't a gentleman like
yourself that would bo liking to know tbo
secrets between us, an' so" hero she twin
ed tho cotton quito nervously "if it will
only plazo yer boner, whilo yer reading it,
so that yo may not hear it yerself, yo'H
,jist put this bit of cotton in yer cars an'
stop up yer hearin,', an' then our secrets
will lie unknown to yo."
Wo bnrln't the heart to refuso her, and
with tho gravest faco possible, complied
with her request; but often sinco wo have
laughed as we related tho incident.
EST" A Chicago lover went visit his girl
ono evening recently, but for some reason,
probably that tho lire had materially chang
ed his condition in life, she received and '
treated him coolly. Ho remained standing
in tho parlor for a few moments, but finally
mado a movement toward the door, remark
ing that "bo guessed he'd go."
"Oh !" said she, starting from a beautiful
condition of semi-unconciousness, "won't
you take a chair?''
" Well, I don't caro if I do," was bis re
ply ; and ho took tho chair, thanking her
kindly, and carried it home. Ho says it is
a good chair, mado of walnut, with stuffing,
and green cover just what be wanted.
Rut bo is down on tbo girl and declares
ho wouldn't marry her not if bcr father
owned a broweiy.
EST" Not long since there worked in
Washington a printer named North, who
would occasionally drink too much. Ono
evening, after having struggled with too
many driuks,a friend advised him to go over
to the prayer-meeting in tho Y. M. C. A.
building, and ask some of tho members to
pray for him. Tbo suggestions struck him
1'avorably, and ho proceeded to act upon it,
but accidentally wandered into the gymna
sium. " They told mo to come over hero
to a prayer-meeting, but this looks terribly
liko a circus, but may bo it's only the way
I'm looking atjit, ain't hie much used to
it, and I s'poso it '11 all como round right
pretty soon !"
tS" A countryman visited a Boston ho
tel, and wrote after his luuno, "P. O. P. S.
F. C. Hero was a titlo which none but,
himself understood.
"Pray, my dear sir," asked tho clerk,
"what do all theso letters stand for?"
' ' Stand for ? Why, that's my title ;' '
" Yes, sir, but what is yout title ?"
"'Why, sir, Professor of Psalmody and
Schoolmaster from Connecticut."
tl?""What are you about, my dear?"
said a grandmother to a little boy, who was
idling about tho room and casting furtivo
glances at a gentleman who was paying a
visit. " I am trying, to steal papa's bat
out of tho room without letting tho gcntlc-
soo it, for papa wants him to think bo is
out."
t2f"A minister mndo un interminable
call upon a lady of his acquaintance. I let
Hale daughter, who was present, grow very
weary of Ids conversation, and at last
whispered in an audible key, " didn't ho
bring his timcu with him, mamma."
"John," said a cockney lawyer to
his son, " I see you will never do for an at
torney you have no honergy." "Excuse
mu, father," said John, "what I want is
soiiio of your chickonary.
1' A St. Louis lawyer attempted to try
a case tho other day when half drunk,
but tho judge stopped him, Baying : "No
lawyer can serve two bars at the same time.
IT" Tho best 'Bus Kissing a pretty girl.
Bi-Bt Ro-bus Kissing her a second timo.
A terrible Bluiidorbuss Kissing tho
wrong girl.
3T Ono of the Oskosh ministers when
lio marrlosa couple, finishes by saying;
" Buffer little children to come unto them,
amen."