2 Gtljc imcs, New Bloomftctit, Ja. Ho found a sheltered nook by ono of llie pnddlo boxes, und here Mrs. Ilarl field sat eonii'ortubly wrapped in shnwls nnd railway ru;j;s, nnd ntnuscd by her fcl-low-truvelcr's convcrstition. He seemed now in tho highest possible spirits, nnd did his uttermost to entertain lier j but well ns he succeeded in doinp this, he eould not iniiko her quite unconscious of tho passage of time. " I thought the steamer crossed in tin hour and ft hulf," suit! slio ; but wo have surely been more thun two hours on j board." j " 0, dear no, I think not. There's a i Hood deal of wind to-nipht, however ; so i I dare say they will be a little lunger than usual." j Mrs. Jlartlicld questioned him about j tho timo more than onco after this, but j ho was unable to givo her any definite j answer. j It is all right, he said vaguely, and his j spirits mounted as tho boat plunged gaily I through tho water. With tho tirst. gleam ot morning tncy ncarcd the shore. Their luggage was ready for landing among t.ho first, only a couple of carpetbags and a portmanteau which was pounced upon by officials, and borno o(T to n building in the distance. Mr. Couiberlbrd led Alice up the steps and put her at once into a fly that loomed duskily out upon them in the chilly at mosphere, lie came back to her present ly with the luggngo and seated him-' self by her side; but before he could rcjoiu her she had nsked tho driver the name of the plrfcc, and he had told her that she was in Ostcnd. Sho looked at Kdward Comberford with" a face full of horror. " What a wretched mistake 1" eho said ; wo have eonio by the wrong steam er ! Why did you not tell me tho truth on board'? IJutof Bourse, wo can goon from here to Paris. It is only tho loss of tinio that annoys nio." "My darling Alice, you uve as inno cent as n baby," exclaimed Mr. Comber ford, with a triumphant smile. " We are no moro going to l'aris than we oro to tho moon. All stratagems are fair in love and war. George llartfieldis as well as ever he was in his life, nnd tho little note you so implicitly believed in was only a specimen of imitative penman ship by your humble servant, t wanted to get away from that dreary old town without esclandrc, my love. We are bound for the sunny Rhine'and, there to forget that there is such n place as Nor bury or such a person as George Hart field." " And you think that I will go with, you?" " My dearest, I do not think you so foolish as to resist your .fate. Tho Rubi con is passed, and return utterly impossi ble. We gave your husband's old clerk the slip at 1 lover. Ho will bo in l'aris at seven o'clock, with tho story of your jour ney, which will at ouce be set down us an elopement." "I am not so weak or so wicked as you tbiuk," cried Alice snatching her . hnnd indignantly away from his grasp. " Foolish and guilty as 1 have been in listening to you, 1 am not so base ns to bring dishonor on my husband's name. You must take nio on to Paris, Mr. t'om berford, or I mnst go alone." " Impossible." " Whero are we going uow ?" " To a hotol. I must get you some break fust. ' Thore is no train for Paris till reven ; there is one for Cologne at the same hour, and it is by that wo are to travel." Alice looked at him iu despair. What ever lovo she had felt for him died a sudden death in this moment of agony. How gladly sho would havo welcomed her husband's honest face I How bitterly sho reproached herself for the ueglect of the old clerk's warning. " lie was my truest friend," she thought "and I refused to listen to him." They were at the door of a hotel by this time, and whilo the driver was ring ing, a second fly drove up,- nnd an old man alighted. It was Mr. Morgan, the clerk. Alioo gave a cry of delight, and call ed him to tho door of the vehicle. " There has been a mistake," she said ; " Mr. Comberford brought ma by tho wrong boat. But, thnnV Uoaven, you came the sanm way. You can take ine on to Paris." - . . . " Or back to Norbury, whichever you prefer, madam," answered the old clerk, respectfully. Mr. Comberford has an uu fortuuato habit of making mistakes. This is not the-first time lie has signed another man's uumo by uiihtako. . Thore was an awkward buMuesi about a forged accommodation bill sumo four years ago, which induced Mr. CoiiiLurford to cross, the Atluutio.'' , , . , , , " What do you menu sir V". cried the younger man, indiguantly. . " I lueao that thoro is no oue iu . the world who knows you better than Bessie Uayoor's undo," answered William Mor Ran. " I ncvor set eyes on your false face till vou came into my office ; but I have heard your history from the lips ol a woman woo loved you, and who would fain have made the best of it. ' You have not changed for tho better since your days of poverty, and you havo not taken the trouble to ascertain what become of the girl who shared your hardships and disgrace. ' 8lie is living with mo, sir, three miles from Norbury, where you are now so grand a gontlcman. I told this lady to bewaro of you, but sho was too confiding to doubt you. I think, howev er, you have thrown oft' the mask too soon." " Don't lecture me, sir. The lady must decide between us. Whatever wrong 1 I havo done, has been done for her sake. I had reason to think she loved me." This was said with a tone of bitter re proach, and then tho young man stood awaiting liis liito with a moody counte nance. " 1 lliink I had .,c(lcr take you on to l'aris. .Mis. llartlidd," said the clerk " It would set Norbury folks talking if we went straight home. You can tell your husband the whole truth, and ho he vim feet tic thu score with this gmt Io nian." " I am going straight mi to (lennauy," said Mr. Conilierford. If lfurtliold wants inc. he must follow mo there. ' IIo walked into the hotel, tho door of which had just been opened by a sleepy looking waiter, leaving Alico under the caro of tho old clerk. ,Sho wcut on to l'aris with him, aud thoro made tho best story she could to her husband, humbly confessing her own short comings. " I suppose I must have flirted with him a little, George," sho said shyly, " or ho would never have done such a wild, wicked thing." And this confession had a very good efTcct upon George Ilartfield, who felt that he had been wanting iu due caro and consideration for his pretty young wifo. Ho withdrew himself from tho club nt tho Crown, left off billiards and took to rowing Alice on the river in the summer evenings, and rending to her or playing chess with her in the winter. He did not follow Mr. Comberford to Ger many, but contented himself by writing a formal letter, relinquishing tho con duct of that gentleman's affairs. Mr. Comberford came back to the Hall three years afterward, with an aristocrat ic, but by no means agreeable wife. 15c foro returning ho took steps to settlo a modest annuity upon Mr. Morgan's niece, Dcssio 1'aynor, au annuity which was accepted by tho young woman, but the quarterly payments of which were care fully banked against that rainy day wheu William Morgan should bo no moro. Tho old man scorned to touch a pouny of Kd gar Comberford 'b money. A Mean Man. "VI J K hnvo heard of many mean transactions in tho way of close bargaining nnd shaving, but we don't re member to havo met anything closer or smaller in that lino than tho following: Paran Judkins was a justice in a west ern district a grasping, miserly, close-fisted-flinty-hearted man, who had grown old and gray in money-making. Ono day ho hired a poor man to come and do somo work about his house. Upon removing his coat preparatory to setting to work, the laborer's pipo slipped out upon the ground, nnd old Judkins saw it., and picked it up. After working uwliilo the man thought ho would smoke, but upon looking for his pipe it was not to be found. Judkins camo out while he wus searching, aud asked him what ho had lost. "I've lost my pipe,', said tho man. "Is this it?" asked Judkins, hold ing up tho pipe. Tho man said was, und reached out his hand to tako it. " Hold !" said Judkins, " It is a smull thing, I know; but since I am a jus tice, we muy as well proceed legally. I n order to make a proper avowcl of own ership you must bo sworn. Hold up your hand." Tho man held up his hand, und Jud kins administered the oath, after which, the laborer still persisting in his owner ship, tho pipe was surrendered. Wheu the job for which tho poor fellow had been engaged was done, he camo for his pay. He hud worked hulf a day, und wantod fifty cents. " All right," said Judkins. " You owe mo half a dollar, so wo are just square." " I I owe you, 'Squire ?" " Yes. Tho law allows uio hulf a dol lar for administering the oath? Don't you sec?" Tho poor man saw to his sorrow ; for upon that basis Judkins forced tho settle ment., A Puzzle. Thrco jeulous husbands, ' A, H, 'and (1, with their wives, being ready to puss by night over a river, find at the water side a boat which can carry but two at a time, and for want of a waterman they are compelled to row themselves over the river several times. The question is, how those six persons shall pass, two at a time, so that none of tho three wives may be found in the company of one or two men unless her husband bo present.' This may be effected in two or three ways; the following may be as good at any ; Let A and wife fro over ; let A re turn ) let B's and C's wive go over ; A's wife returns ; B and C go ovcrf'B and wife return, and A and B go over; C's wife returns, aud A's and B's wives go over ; then C comes back for his wife. Simple as this question may appeal1, it is found In the works of Alcuin, who flour ished a thousand years ugn, hundreds of years beforo the art of printing ' was in vented. , Couldn't Sec the Joke. rpVYO sprightly and beautiful young L ladies of Louisville were lately visit ing their cousin, another sprightly aud beautiful lady, who, like her guests was of that happy ago which turns everything into fun and merriment. If tho truth were told, those three misses wero just a little bit fast. They were found of play ing practical jokes, ami were continually playing all sorts of pranks with eaoh other. All three occupied a room on the ground floor and slept in one bed. Two of the young ludies attended a party on tho evening in question, aud did not get homo until half-past twelve o'clock. They had concluded not to disturb the house hold, nnd quietly stepped into their room through the low, open window. To about half an hour after they had tuft for the party, a young Methodist minister called at the house where they were stnying and craved for a night's lodging, which of course, was granted. As ministers always havo tho best of everything, tho tho old lady put him to sleep iu the best room, and tho young lady (Tannic) who had not gone to tho party, was intrusted with the duty of setting up for tho absent ones and informing them of tho change of rooms. She took her post in tho par lor, and as the night was sultry, sleep overcame her, and sho departed on un excursion to tho land of dreams. Wo will now return to the young ladies who had gono to the room through tho window. By tho dim light of tho moon beams, as they struggled through the curtains, they were enabled to descry the outlines of Fannie (as they supposed), ensconscd in tho middle of tho bed. They saw more too with n pair of boots. They saw it all Fannio had set tho boots in tho room to givo them a good scare They put their head together and deter mined to turn the tables on her. Silently they disrobed, and stealthily as eats, they took up their position on each side of tho bed. At a given signal they both jump ed in, ono on each side of unconscious parson, laughing nnd screaming, " Oh, what a man ! They gave tho poor be wildered minister such a hugging us few persons arc able to brag of in' tho course of a lifetime. Tho noiso of tho' proceed ing awoko tho old lady, who was sleeping in an adjoining room. She comprehend ed tho situation in a moment, and rush ing to the room, sho exclaimed : " Gra cious, it is a man! It is a man! sure enough. There was a prolonged consoli dated scream, a flash of muslin, and all over. Tho best of the joko is that tho minister took the wholo thing in earnest. He would liston to no apologies tho old lady could make for tho girls. He would hoar no excuse, but solemnly folded his clerical robes about him and silently stolo away. SSnydcr'g Trick. Peter Snyder had drunk himself out of mill, house und home there wero no homestead laws in Virginia nt that time. It was consequently often hard for Sny dor to ' make a raise" to got a drink, und many and ingenious wore tho expe dients to which he resorted for tho pur pt so of filling tho inner man with whis key. On one occasion ho perpetrated the following ruse : On n hot day in August, Peter and his " drouthy crony," Abram Fulwiler, were lying down iu tho slmdo of a locust on tho banks of Purgatory creek. Said Peter; "Abram, is you dry?" "Yes, Peter, very dry." " Well, Abrum, I'll get somo whisky from Cartinill's grocery." " Do mischief you will ! whore's your money?" " You let mo alone I'll man age dat." So ho went off, got two bottles, nnd tilled one of them with water. Then he returned, found Abram waiting, aud showing the latter tho empty bottle, suid ho " knew how to fill it." . Ho put the bottle of water in one pocket und the empty ono in the other. The twain then started for the grocery. Arrived there, Peter placed tho empty bottle ou tho counter, where it was soon filled with tho ardent, which the old to per stowed iu one of bis pockets and was retiring, when the storekeeper bawled out, " Stop there, Peter pay mo for your whisky." " Isn't uiy credit good for. u quart ?" indignantly replied the latter. " No," answered tho former ; " leave tho money or ihe liquor " " Well," rejoined Peter, " takoyour whiskey," and placing the bottle of ' water ou the counter, he strutted out in fury with the' bottle of whisky in his pocket. About hulf mi hour afterwards the storekeeper smelt the bottle, found it filled with water, and rushed out after Snyder but he found him nnd Fulwiler both glo riously drunk on tho bunks of Purgatory creek.: . ..... Hoy Professor Porson, u short time be fore his death, was in a . mixed company inong which , were muuy distinguished literary characters. One of the number, a person of somo celebrity, hud u very high opinion of his own talents ; and when the conversation turned on some of his productions, us usual ho begun to extol their merit. . " I will toll you, sir," suid Mr, Porson " what I think of your" poetical works. They will be ieud wheu Shukcspcuro's and Milton's are forgotten" (every eye was instantly turned on the professor), " but not until then !" ' A Lntigliahlo Incident. riIIE train from Mobile to Jackson rc JL cently brought up a lot. of oysters which was something never beforo seen by somo darkeys present, who began to examine them with great astonishment- " Whar ho nioiif '!" exclaimed ono of tho most inquisitive. " How inn eat, eh? Golly! I links urn nuffin 'cept a bono. Yah ! yah !" ho continued, laughing at his own wit. " I 'spec' somo wliito man tiuk nigun a fool when he call dat ting ister." Just then he discovered an oyster slightly open, and seining it ho eyed it closely. Not satisfied wit h this examina tion, he placed it to his nose ; but no sooner was that organ inserted between tho shells than they closed, when darkey howlod with pain, and called out : " Pull um off! pull urn off!" But tho more the oyster was pulled, tho more it would not let go ; and, ns poor CufTco danced und yelled, his frantic ef forts to rid himself of his uncomfortable nasal ornament wero both ludicrous nnd painful. " Hit, um wid a stick," said a buxom wench ; and in a moment tho oyster was knocked right and left with n hearty will, but CufToe's head went with it ' Pinch he tail," cried n little nig, " and he sure let jjo. But there was no tail to pinch, and poor Cuffco seemed doomed to wear the oyster forever. At this moment tin " in telligent contraband" whipped out a knife, and it soon severed the oyster. Cuffco looked at the shells with amazement, und finding the oyster toothless, threw it away, with tho remark : " Um got no tcef, but he gum it powerful !" The Lasso. This is a fuvorito weapon with the rang ers of tho prairio in South America, who handie it with singular dexterity. In the early days of the Paraguayan war.a com pany of Southern Brazilians captured one of tho ueuiy's steuuiboats with lassos ! They concealed themselves in the uiatto, or thick bushes, on the bauk of tho river, where they knew tho vessel must come closo to tho shore, und when it was within their reach, a party of them tlnew ropes around tho figure-head und every availa ble projection ; whilo the others with their firearms, drove the Paraguayans from making nny resistance, till, the lasso party hauled tho prize to the land, nnd the Brazilians took possession of it. An other singular weapon of these rangers is a lasso of a different kind from those gen erally known by tho name one having three leaden balls or other heavy material attached to the main cord by three lessor thongs. Oue of tho balls they grasp iu the hand, and swing tho other two a lew times over the head to givo them velocity and aim, and then sling them with such force and precision that they wrap around tho legs of any animal they aro pursuing, in such a manner ns to hamper it, till they como alongside. In the Spanish South American countries men aro fre quently garrotcd in this manner, with a facility that is truly marvelous. Half Trlco. A young rustic in Albany, named Knox, saw a placard, " Linen Drilling at Half Price," beforo a dry good store, wont iu and purchased ten yards, the prieo being statoa Dy tne clerk to ue nny cents per yard, .taking the parcel, ho handed the clerk two dollars und a hall. Clerk ' How is this, my friend? You have not given me enough. . Knox ' How in thuudcr do you make that out; didn't you mention that the price of theso goods was only fifty cents u yard: Clerk " To be sure I did ; aud you asked lor ten yards nt that price, so that your bill is five dollars." Knox " I'll bet that my bill ain,tfivo dollars. Look at the sign board, young man ; don't it say " Linen Drilling'at Half Price? lousuid tli.e prtco of this ere piece I chose was fifty cents a yard; hulf of fifty is tweuty-five, and ten times twen ty five is two fifty. Stranger, you cnu't climb me, I've traveled." i . The proprietor was called, but tho rus tic could not be urgucd out of his arith metic, und rather than have a " scene," the loss was pnt up with, and the young man allowed to travel with his bargniu; which suggests the fact that people who keep shop should bo careful what contract they udvortir.e tor tho uoceptaneo of the public. . A Queer Blunder. A suburban friend, blest with elevcu chil dren, and being a very domestic man and very fond of them, told this story i Ono afternoon business being very dull, ho look tho early train out to his huppy homo, and went up stuirs to put the chil dren to bed. Bciug missed from the smoking-room his wifo went up stairs to see what was going on; upon oponiug the door sho exclaimed " wliy, dear, whut for mercy's sake are you doing ?" " Why," says he, " wifey, I am putting tho chil dren to bed, nod hearing them say their little prayers.'' " Yes," says wifey, " but this is not one of ours." Sure enough he hud got one of tho neighbor's children all Undressed, and he had to redress it und send it home. After that ' he ' calls tho roll every morning und night. ' " . Tho Great External Eemedy. For Man and Beast. IT WILL CURE RHEUMATISM Ths reputation of this preparation Is so Vrll entail Hilled, that little need be said In thil connection. On MAN it h never failed to cure PAINFUL NEKVOtIS AFKKCTION8, CO.VTR M'TI.VO MUS f'l.FS, 8TIFKNESS AND PAINS INTHB JOINTS, 8TIT0HKS inthcSIIIKor Rock, SPRAIN'S, MtOIRF.S HURNS, SWELLING S, CORNS and FKOSTl-Hl FEET, Persons affected with Rheumatism can be effectually smd permanently cured lijr uning this wonderful prepa ration ; It penetrates to the nerve and bone Immediately on being applied. On Hi IRSE8 It will cure SCRATCHES, R WEEVEY, POLL-EVIL, FISTULA, OLD RUNNING SORES, PADDLE or COLLAR OAT.I.S, SPRAIN ED JOINTS STIFFNESS OP THE STIFLES, Ike. It will prevent HOLLOW IIOK.Y and WEAK BACK I.V MILCI1 COWS. t have met with great snecew In hrln(rln; my Mixture within the reach of the Public I am daily in recelptof letters from Physicians, PruKglsts, Merchants and Farmers, testifying to Its curative power. DAVID E. FOUTZ, Sole Proprietor, BALTIMORE, Mi. BANKING HOUSE OF Jay Cooko & Co., 113 AND 114 SOUTH THIRD STKEET, Philadelphia, OH.M.ritS TV ALL (JOYKHN M EXT SECURITIES. ll 5-20 Wanfcd IN EXCHANGE FOR NEW. A UDKKAI, DIFFERENCE ALLOWED. Cmnnoiiiid Interest Soles Wanted. INTEREST ALLOWED ON DEPOSITS. t$r C.'OLECTTONS inuriu ; STOCKS boiiL'lit und sold on Commisflion. tf SPECIAL business accommodations re served Cor LADIES. 81U1 t1 IMfl I l"v I id It in A mm. with. Mcncils. 11U HauiplcsiiiulKMllri'C. .A.J.FCLLAM.N.Y.fim A GREAT OFFER. HORACE WATERS, JVo. 4S1 Itvottdway, New York 7"If.t. dNpose of Onr Ht'NnitEn Pianos, Mr. If l.olH.ONS and OmiANS, ol six Hist cliiss mi. kiirs, Iiii'IiiiIIiik Cliirkcrlntt & Hons, at kxthkmf.lv LOW PRICES FOK C.ISII, 1)1 HI Ml THIS MONTH, Or Will take (aim V to $ monthly until paid. 4 17 ly HOMES FOK ALL, IX TI1K Land of Flowers aud rernctnal Growth. FLORIDA. Tin Itnly ol Amoi'ion, IT IS nut oxrt'lleil In Ci.imatf. by any of tlie I'nitt'd stall's, und It miiv bo doubted whether It uuu (hi equaled In the world. Loi aled on the very boriler.s of the Torrid Zone, still her sitiiutlnii between the (itiil of Mexico nnd the Allantle Oeean Is sueli that she is swent alter nately by the winds of the Kastrrn nnd Western seus, and relieved Hum the Imrmiii; heuts whieli travails In other Southern states;-und thus It hapiHMis that by the Joint Intltienvt) of latitudu and lH'euliar liK-atlim, sue Is relieved, on the one hand, from the rttinrs of Mm Winter ellinnto of the Northern and Middle Slates, and nil the other, from the extreme heat with whleh not only the Southern Stales, but In the hummer tune the Northern State are ehaiaeterlzed. Settlers have not the hariNhM to lindertio that have been thelotof the pioneer who opened up and developed our harsh Northern latitudes. The entire K.r it a irimtuul wim.n iri firoinih, Bhlu to pimmee and send to market, oil the broducUons of Ihe 'J'mpirid anil nwimrnte Xnnea vkpIca and month 111 advance of nd other hmiUly.unU at u Keimm rlwn till muh iriiiUii:titmn, ure luxurious, ami coiniiiuinl the evrylilyhnt price ; Tho Florida Improvement ('onipunj, , under the autiilcemff the Stutc of t'lnrltla, proposi ti) furnish Innds of uniform imm nuitlltu, and upon which can bo raised VftiHiMiK, Prultn, etc., com moil lo the mole Northern climates, and all Ihe (iHAiss, Km I'raiin.l YrxiKTAiu.Ktiof Ihe Tkoi'Ich. Such teteetml lands, iu the HuaLTUiKsr part uf the Statk, and of the best quality. Thu Comi'anv have Issued a pamphlet til 12s panes containing lull and reliable liifiuinatioii coiioornliiK Kuiiiioa its Ci.imath. Hon., and l'xo nni'Tio.NS, with a sketch ol Its Histoiiv which the Company will forward free of postaKc, on receipt of 2i' cents. For other Information or circular, address ot apply to The Florida Iniprovpnient Co., : I lvVlIC KOAV, IN. "V'. NKWYOIIK AND FLORIDA COLONY. Partially organized. For full Information cir culars, etc., address KDWAKI) Dlil.OliKST, Si Nassau street, New York City. V. O. Box MIX! 4 8 l.t a THE NEW Family Sewing Machine, 1MMVKIIY. EMPIHE HOW Kit V . The extraordinary success of their new and Im proved maiiiilactuiTiiK Mucbiuea lor llht or heavy work, has induced the EMriKE SEWING MACHINE CO. to manufacture a NKW FAMILY MACHINE of I the same style and construction, Willi additional ornamentation, making It equal In beauty and I llnlsh with oilier Family Machines, whereas In iiHudilness It fur OUTSTHll'H ALL COM PKTITOItti. The price of this now acknowledged necessary article comes w ithin reach of every class, and thu t'ompany Is prepared to oiler the most liberal In ducements to buyers, dealer and agent. Ker Machine wnrranted. Apply for circulars and samples lo KMl'lltK HKWINti MACH1NK COMPANY, 6 Darn a , No. 14 HoYvery, New York. 'Ton'oes't'roop In the PtilKd Slates Is on Rlnek's Hons Factory. Kaston, 1'a., one third of a mlUt long, aud is cov ered with READY. ROOFING, CHKAP, DtlKAHI.Kand easily applied. Send for circular and wimple to the miiiiutactiiren. - - HKADY KOOKINU CO., 4 1 lyii , No- M Cmo l land St, New York, ALL KIND OK JOB 1MUNTIXU Neatly executed at thtt Hlooiulleld Times Steam Job Olllve.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers