The Bloomfield times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, August 09, 1870, Page 7, Image 7
7 Philadelphia Advertisements. Philadelphia Advertisements. Philadelphia A d vertisenients. Philadelphia Advertisements. HUMOROUS ITEMS. Gtljc imc0, Ncm BloomftcuX JjJo, BOOKSELLERS & STATIONERS. MILLER & ELDER, Booksellers and .Stationers, BLANK BOOK MANUFACTURERS, And Dealers In WINDOW CURTAINS AND WALL PAPER, No. 430, Market Street, 31 PHILADELPHIA, PA. CHARLES 31 AG AUG E & CO., Wholcsalo Dealers In Nos. 30, 32, and 34, South Sixth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. a- Paper any Size, Weight, Color and Quality, made to order, at short notice. Iuly41 SOWER, BARNES & POTTS, Booksellers & Stationers, And Dealers in CURTAIN AND WALL-PAPERS, Nos. 530 Market and 523 Minor Streets, PHILADELPHIA, PA. TO. Publishers or Sanders' New Headers, and Broom' Arithmetics. Also, Robert's History of tho United States, Felton's Outline Alans, &c. IiliAXK BOOMS Always on hand, and made to Order. 31t LOC3IJIAXS HIS FLUID Is warranted EQUAL to Aiinoi.d's, and is sold at 11111111 i.w ii-i.. will bo refunded in those buying it, if it does not prove entirely sut.s.uctory. a-i'or saie uy V. iMorumer, New Blooinlleld. MILLER & ELDER, Sole Agents, 4ao Market Street, 23031 l'hiladelnlila. Glass and Queensware. A. L. KaCB. J. E. FliBYMIKE. IA3JR & Fl&YmitE, IMI'OKTEIIS and Jobueus OP 0 1iiis.fi, O 1 si w & AND QUEENSWARE, 301 and 303, Cherry St., between Arch & Race, PHILADELPHIA. H7" Constantly on hand. Original Assorted Packages. 3. 9. ly 10 MISCELLANEOUS. PUMPS ! PUMPS ! Toil PURE WATER, USE TUB CELEHRATKD CUCUSIISIHt PUMP Made of wild Cucunihur wood, en tirely tuxW'-xx, durable, and rcliaJile; the good old-fashioned wooden pump, made by machinery, and therefore perfect and accurate in all its parts, rawing an equal amount of water, and costing less than half the money, busily arranged so as to be noil freezing, and in construction sosun ple thai an; onfe van Put it tip and keep It in repair. Afler thorough trial it is acknowledged the Best and Cheapest. CHARLES G. BLATOIILEY, Manufacturer. mm TO. Oftlco and Ware-room, Nos. 624 and filifi Filbert Street, UOnifi PHILADELPHIA, PA. n These Pumns can be ordered of the Mmm. icturer, or F. Mortimer & Co., New Bloonilieid. ESTEY'S Cottage Organs, JMREAT INDUCEMENTS offered to Churches IJT and Sunday Schools. Organs and Mulodeons or saie on mommy instalments. M. BUIICU, No. 18 North Seventh St., Hltf PHILADELPHIA. As DRUCS, MEDICINES AND PAINTS. John Lucas & Co., Sole and THE ONLY MANUFACTURERS OF THE IMPERIAL FRENCH, PURE SWISS GREEN, Also, Pure White Leatl and Color 31 Ay UFA CTURERS, Nos, 141 and 143 North Fourth St., Philadelphia. SIDDALL & MARKLEY, Wholesale Druggists AND DEALERS IN Patent Medicines, 119 MARKET STREET, NEAR FRONT, Philadelphia, Pa. A FULL STOCK of cverthing connected with the business, of the best quality, and at very low prices. A good location for business, with a ow rent and light expenses, enables lis to offer In ducements to buyers, and makes it worth their while to give us a trial. Philadelphia, 3. 8tf. SAVES LAISOSK ! Saves Time ! SAVES 5IOXEY! AINRICIIT & CO'S Labor-Saving Soap Will be found the best In use. With this Soap washing may be done with half tho labor required when any other is used, and the saving in wear to clothes is really astonishing. It will cost only Fif teen Cents to try it, and after that you will use no other. TO- For sale by all Grocers, and by F. Mortimer, New Blooinlleld, Pa. 317 Worth its Weight in Gold ! rrmiS Is what everybody who has used It says of ItfESMlTM'S LIXmiSXT. For Rheumatic Pains It will give Instant relief and ellect a permanent cure in a short time. It is also tne best remedy in the World for Cuts, Sprains, Bruises and Burns, and nut only giving prompt relief from pain, but heals without leaving any scar. All who have tried it, say no family should be without it, for it is worth its weight in gold. TO- Try a bottle of It! No cure, No Pay. 317 ft it. For sale at F. Mortimer's. PENNSYLVANIA ELASTIC SPONGE CO. No. 1111 CHESTNUT STREET PHILADELPHIA. ELASTIC SPONCE, A Substitute fof Curled Hair, FOR ALL UPHOLSTERY 1'URPOSES. Itls cheaper than feathers or iiaik, and much superior, being the lightest softest and most elastic tuatenal known FOR MATTRESSES. PILLOWS, CARRIAGE, CAR, AND CHAIR CUSHIONS. It Is Indestructalile.frce from dust, nerl'cctlv nlnun and for the sick is unequaled.as if soiled it i'seasily IT DOES NOT PACK And is entirely free from Moth Permns are requested to examine Vie Cushion ajjonye ui the oywe oj me comjianu. Feb 8tf -No. 1111 CHESTNUT STREET, Hardware, ttc. LLOiD, SUPPLEE, fi WALT0X, WHOLESALE HARDWARE HOUSE, No. 625 Market Street, Philadelphia. DRY COODS HOSIERY A. NOTIONS John Shaffncr, Jr. E. S. Ziegler. Theo. Rumel S1LAFFNER, ZIEGLER & CO., Successors to SIIAFFNER, ZIEGLER & CO., Importers and Dealers in Hosiery, loves, llibbons, Suspenders, TUBE ADS, COMBS, and every variety of TRIMMINGS AND FANCY GOODS, No. 36, North Fourth Street, PHILADELPHIA, PA. Agents for Lancaster Combs. BANCROFT & CO., Importers aud Jobbers Of Staple and Fancy DRY - GOODS, Cloths, Cassimcres, Blankets, Linens, White Goods, Hosiery, &c, Nos. 405 and 407 MARKET STREET, (Abovo Fourth, North Side,) Philadelphia. Hoots, Shoes, Hats and Caps. F. D. Miller. T. Rlckcrt. C. II. Miller. MILLER, RICKERT & CO., SUCCESSORS TO GRAYBILL & NEWCOMER, Manufacturers and Wholesale Dealers in HATS, CAPS, EURS, STKAlV-ttOODS, &?., No. 349 North Third Street, 2d Floor, PHILADELPHIA. 4 11 ly 10 W. F. KOIII,EI, JOBBER, IN Hats, Caps, Furs, AMD S 1 1 i v - GS- o o 1 s t 153 NORTH TniRD STREET, SOlylO PHILADELPHIA. W. W. Paul. D.J. Hoar. II. L. Hood. A. Trimble. WM. W. PAUL & CO. WHOLESALE BOOT AND SHOE WAREHOUSE, 623 Market St. aud 614 Commerce Street, Philadelphia, Pcnn'a. MISCELLANEOUS. JRADBURY'S AND OTHER PIANOS. laylor & Earley't and E. P. Needha.ni it Sim's ORjANS and melodeons. WM. a FISCHER, (Jateral WJtolesale Agent, 1018 Arch Street and i North Eleventh Street, 3 42 0m. . PHILADELPHIA " The Rod Horse Powdsrs" AltE MIE BEST 1'OWDERS in the World for HORSES, CATTLE, HOGS, OR POULTRY, They will not onlyprovent, but will Curediseases, and are the Cheapest, as well as the best Horse Powders in use. Try them. For sale by Stores and DniKKists generally, and by F. Moktimbk, New Bloonilieid, l'a. 335t! TOBACCO SECARS AC. W. B. METCALFE WITH James Hiisscl & Co., Wholesale Dealers in Tobacco and Cigars, No. 11, South Front Street, Philadelphia. S- Agents for Celebrated Star Navy. 4 221y Thomas Robb. A. J. McConkey. ROBB & McCONKEY, Commission Merchants, And Wholesale- Dealers in LEAF AND MANUFACTURED TOBACCOS, SEGAES, No. 13 North Fifth Street, (Between Market and Arch,) PHILADELPHIA, PA. 1041tf A. B. Cunningham. J. II. Lewars. J. S.Glcim. Cunningham, Gleim & Co., Wholesale Dealers in Tobacco, Segars, &c, NO. 4, NORTH FIFTH STREET, PHILADELPHIA. S2S10 GROCERIES AND PROVISIONS. C. P. IOHUI1T & ISEIO'S, Wholesale Dealers in F I S II , Clieesc AND 1 3 1" o vi s i o 1 1 h , 114 South Delaware Avcnne, Below Chestnnt St., PHILADELPHIA, PA.t Agents for Collins, Geddes & Go's Cnnued Prnits. 1041tf 8. IS. TAYLDK, WITH WAIN WRIGHT & CO. . WliOLESALE GROCERS AND TEA DEALERS, North East Corner of 2nd and Arch Street?, Philadelphia Pa W. A. Atwood. . Isaao W. Ranck. atwood; RANCK & CO., Commission Merchants, AND Wholesale Dealers in all kinds of IMehlcd and Sal IP ISH, I No. 210 North Wharves, above Race Street, 3 40 OmO I'HI LA DELPHI A, PA. PATTERSON, fit KEWLIN, Wholesale Grocers, AND COtMMISSION MEKC1IANTS No. 120 ARCH STREET, l'hiladelphia, ir The sale of Eggs, Seeds, Grain and Wool, a specialty. - J'lease send for a Circular. 4 138 wholesaIe s , 7 f i GROCERS Junuary 1, 16C9. BQr Pudding for Lawyers Suet. Man is a mister, but woman is a mystery. JS" Imprudent Promisine Your doc tor a lcj;ticy. Bfigfln a Iloosier court, a witness beine asked how lie knew certain persons were man ana wile, replied : " V hy, dog on it, haven't 1 heard 'em scold more'u fifty times 1" A prisoner was examined in court and contiadictt-d himself. "Why do vou lie so ?" asked th judge, " Haven't you a lawyer ?" JBA Country noet. after loolinir about over life, has come to the following rhyming conclusion : " Oh, I wouldn't live forever, I wouldn't if I could j But I needn't frit ubout it. For I couldn't if 1 would." Schell, the artist, is likewise a- punster. W hen with some of his breth ren out sketching, one of the club pro posed to remain ana sketch another land scape. " Oh, no." said Schell. " let's L-efeh tho train." CiST " Bub, is your sister at home V " Yes, but she won't see you to-ni:ht." "Why?" il Because the said she was going to have one more mess of onions if she nev er got another beau. 37 Word was scut to the city-marshal of Augusta, that a fellow was selling llthrrx from a wagon in Market Square. He went to arrest him and confisento hi's stock, and found himself the victim of an atrocious pun. The man wa3 peddling Iwrse-trhijjs. JCSTA teacher, wishing to explain toa little girl the manuer in which a lobster casts its shell when it had outgrown it, said : " What do you do when you have out grown your clothes ? You throw them, aside, don't you '(" " Oh no," replied tho little, girl " we let out the tucks." " I feel," moaned a dying cobbler, " that I wax weaker every day, and that I am gradually approaching my end only a few more stitches, and awl will be over. I n heaven there is rest for the sole earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal." Having said awl he wish ed, ho calmly breathed his last. DSSA rapid and emphatio recital of the following simple narrative is an infal lible euro for lisping: " Hobbs meets Suobbs and Nobbs; Ilobbs bobs to Snobbsand Nobbs ; Hobbs nobs with snobs and robs Nobbs' fobs.-r-'This is," says Nobbs, "the worst of Hobbs' jobs," and Snobbs sobs." " Sam, what fish in de salt water weighs de least?" " Why, Julius, what ignoramus ques tions you ax your brethren ! Minims weigh do least, ob course." " No, no, Sam dats wrong now ; it am do porpufs weighs nothing cos he's got no scales." 05 I thought I understood you to6ay that your father was a merchant only a week ago," said a lady to a little girl who was soliciting alms; "and if that is so, liow could your family have been so re duced to beggary 7" " It is true ma'am; my father kept a pea-nut stand, and last week he took a bad two dollar bill, and failed !" B8" How tie Knew Uis Politics. Old Johnson once lost half of a hog, aud tho next day in telling his misfor tune insisted that it was some Democrat who had stolen it. How do you know it was a Democrat said his friend ? Because said Johnson, " 1 know it was, I can tell ecrtain." " But how do you, kuow it?" " Why if it had been a Republican, the fellow would have stole the whole of it," replied Johnson. B " Bob, that's a fine horse you have there, what's he worth ?" " Three hundred and fifty dollars." ' No ; not so much as that." " Yes, every cent of it, and another fifty on top." " Are you sure V " YeBj I'll swear to it." " All right." " What are you so inquisitive for ?" . '.' Merely for assessing purposes; I am tho assessor for this ward, ana only want ed to know what you rated your nag at,"