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'r
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). •
Zm
uneos garbs.-
TAANIES, & HALL,
ATTOWSETS , AT - LAW ,
iiOUTII SIDE OF WARD HOUSE
The ripe red mouth, with lips compressed—
The rise and fall of the heaving breast—. _
'The nervous lingers so taper and small,
Crumpled the fringe of the tattered shawl
As she stood in herplace at the ollicers call,
She seemed good and she seemed tender and
7'OIVANDA, PRIMA. I sweet,
I)ec '2l 75
MI
.
xm w..BpK
u;
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW ,
N. 7 .c.l i':9
“In , c—At Treasurer's;°Mee, In Court House
A.
yir 11. E. A. TlTOMpscrx,
y • ArrotciursoiT-LAw.TOWANDA.; - PA.
Niereor Block, over C. T. Kirlr.4 brug
,;• te. to•ini intro%ted to their care will be
:0 Tonle , ' to promptiv. Epecial attention given
i.Oon agrilost the United States for PENSIONS.
)1' 'STIES. VATF.NTS, etc to collections and
1.1 the se4inent of decedent's'estates.
W. 11. TitomPsaN,__
tr.txmcn A. THOMrSON
MEM
BEVERLY SMITU &
II
.vn s,
,I..alvr , iu Frel Suws and :N111,14'8
Scit.l i..r I.llce-11.1. Ri.rou - ri:v. Building.
'fc.N\ aloha.
1 .1 L. HOLLISTER, D. D. - S.,
I_ •
P F; S 2: / S 2:
~-, i cet, t •or to Dr. }:. Angir). (IFFICE--St - ToUtl
' la Dr. Pratt's (Dice.
.January 6, IbSI
t ADILL & KINNEY,
ATTORN
0 M•e $ formerly occupied 1 . 1 - Y. M. C. A
IBMEM
ll..l.>i~nu.t
JOHN w. CODPING,
A Trot:Nt:v!AT-LAw, TpwAN Pt, r..%
Drug St. re.
Fr:LOMAS E. MYER
11_YALU' LNG . I'ENNIA.
OVEILTUN
LAW,
Ti,VANDA.,
MEI=
1 )ODNEY A. MERCUR,
71,7: NV
PJrticolar :Ill,.!,11oft paid
t . . it, , nrt and to the settle
;• ~f
=II
i.~ Y~.~~Lrfr,., ~~i~...'r:
)vERToN SANDE.R*ON,
W
I'4) , .VA!s:I)A.:VA
1.. •11
`W . H. .It:SSUP,, ,
Wt_!!..LN •:•• E1.1.01.1T-L
PA
,1 11 ,14, , 1110 practleer , ltlie
I, t ‘n, nn n;n•lnn I•nnnt. , ,s.nlni.t, m.lll att.•ll , l to any
1111x . 2- 1:11..1for.1
•i -n.in• vi -11:;n4 111111, cart call an 11.
tEN 11"1" ST lIE TER,
=I
ToWA N PA
1 .1 1 L • 'HILLIS;
A Ti.vizNl.l-.1.T-LAW,
TiIWANDA,-PA.
t illAM K. BULL;
11.1.
I •.1.1•1:: AND PIZAFTIN.
ti t t "ill: c.. owr ratcla AL Tracy
Mal'•• Tot, P. 14 4. Ft. All.
ELSBREE & SON,
A TTOEN:I".%•Z-AT-L ANS",
_ \VA NI/A,
N.
, to W. MIX,
ANI , U. S. COMMISSIONER,
'I'.,W.kNI)A, PA.
Fqttar e
.INDREW
U
TT, r.Y•AT-L
Maili-st.. over L. Vent's
May be con:Ailt,d iteGerhinn.
[April
11r. . YOUNG,
It TT-1:N
ToI.VANDA, PA
—M. r , ui l'.irk trccl. tip clairg:-.3:-
1111. S. M.. IN - 001 - 1131.711N, Physi-
I I v.cri co at residence, on
•t ~
tlr-t .1 ,4,r !.*l.lt 'or . E. Church.
Artil 1,1”1.
s t, i,r KELLY, ITENTisr—()flice
T . ocr r E.' field's, Towanda, Pa.
Fr I;,e rt4 . . 1 011 flulthet, and At:
'rvedly..itracted
1 1 I). PAYNE, 1 1
"
. r/IYNICIAN AND '7.1 , 11 , 0:0ti.
(1.1. (Mice 11(111TS from 10
to t: A . from 2 to 4 0. M.
• t.LI :1:1,01;(14.1, 1 7 . 0,1, to
) DISEASES
attd _
i'lll i THF: EAR
A-1"' E. pERRIGo,
I=l
Tll , rotigh
. ! .....a lq•clally. I,nrated
1:4.1r renre Hrgnms
.I:trcli 4, ISM).
YA N ,
' 11"
( . .UNTV St.rEl:l-7,71.:Nns
ty , l!lirtlay 7 )fo 101111 O!' .ver Turfier
i):11g
111111113
(4 S. ItITSSELI,'S
GENERAL
1 , N51 7 11 - ANCE AGENCY
% , t r ',7,,.11
1)WA1111 . ' WILLIAMS,
1
Yr It' .1 7, P7.('31:: I:a n 17 A s FITTER
feo doors oortli of Postdl(t:cc
Filth Et-pairing I'umps of all
..01 o r 4; e:trit.g , promptly attended
9 ~V.l atll . .ng wt‘rk iti bls Itnef,hoithl givr him
Dec. 4,1679.
• _ _ ,
1, 1, 1 - .8..7..cf NATIONAL BANK,
TOWANDA, PA
I, l) IN
:I'l' l ,l'l4'z. FUND..
• 1 1 .,;:k awls:LIZ fitcflitles tor the trans
oaf a gcLeral
ECM
I I
t Exit- ifousEl
AI A I N .1 IV A z•IIINGTON gTIigETS
Y !:::y I:D. TOWANDA. PA
p;:t , .,Tt•illi, to si!lt the times_ Large
.::.' , :e attached.
W HEN HY, Puorlll-ITOII.
MO
usn
EAV coPIES OF THE ROAD
1 A U ' a i ‘ U. had st "; , 3 OinaLL .1
VOLUME XT,TT,
"Drunk, your Worship.," the °Meer said, ' •
"Drunk in the street, sir ',She raised her head
A lingering trace of the golden grace
still softened the lines of her woo-worn race..
Unkempt and tangled • her rich brown hair,
Yet With all the furrows and stains of care--
The years of anguish and In and (lei - Pair—
The child of the city was passing fair.
TOWANDA, PA.
This fallen woman found drunk in the street
Does the hand that once smoothed tho tipple ant
Of that tangled hair lie still In the grave ?
Is that mother who pressed those red lips 'to Ler
own, . .
Deaf to the pain of their smothered moan! , .
Ilasithe voice that-chimed to the lisping prayer
Sc. accent of hope fol . the lost one there,
hearing her Intrtija of sln and deapair. ..,.
Ilritok lu thesireet !—ln the gutter found—
Irrait a piteslonate longing to crush and drown
The soul ofthe wotna4l,She tulgtft hair heed—
To fling off th • 'weight of a fearful dream.
And at% alo. , again In thit homestead hard by,
Anil wooded tuountalnithat touched the sky ;
To Iln;;C.,'r awhile on the path to school
And catch In the depth of the limpid pool.
Under the willow - shade, green and cool,
A dimpled face and a laughing eye,
And - the pleasant words of the passer-by,'
llarrh 1, lEr.l
Ye men, with sisters and Mothers and wives, •
Have ye notate for these women's lives?
Must they starve for the comfort ye never speak
Must they ever he erring and sinful and weak—
Staggering onward with weary feet,
Stained In the gutters and drunk in the street ?
"—Good Templar.
0. n.HISNEY
•
Brother Snort flake here has asked inn 'to make a
An' I atn't a:goin' to tell you anything . but wha;
• 1 .k.now
Delotie - th.,gs I don't know AN Otlld
. 1111 a thousan
But for fifty - years an , ober, I Gab hail It weedy
MI
Ltlnk (lat l Is complen
. to tell die young Mei
110 W to inn ele In a manly way, de thorny path o
life—
If )ott ran:t atford to Inty,chatoictgar, just Int cot
Pout Ilingint , 'cause you'S ,twenty-Olio ttat yo
liab a wife. • ' .
I;S.Q.U. l'Ef
Don't neber say : "I wish for dib—l AVihil for (la
an• t'other,•' . •
But git right up, 101 Iron heart,, an' wort fur It.
thy ft •
Fur uI iin uovor ((admit a plcacun to ute—or
brother • •
A wllteet, always bocrowln'—al wislier • Leber
M
rryou would put a fine harness on a spwilned,
•
worn-out nag ; -
- Wtinld de nag go mon' de ract•courm wilt
dc
speed of Goldsmith Maid?
Dun•t 'Leber (nil wieder naldeici honored hag a
.• rag—
Don't weber be Inn faro bank—v.llcl' do coppers
make a raid.
it.llN F
wi,h talkil,l about one hundred tears
f n 4,1
Pray not try to kill a man who rolher dhl you
harth:
If yt.ll A . 1 7 i01, when you Is dead, a wreath oh laurel
F&'27, '79
II . .Vou's born wid homely features, you'll take 'eni
•
to de grave- 7
I ir• speakiir now of children oh de North as well
as Smith : •
'novll-75
But we nv.9i hnh dls advahtage o'er de white a'
rkln't till); a ,111311 'eause he hasn't
We -1 :to
itenienlher dart .`!.le shaller's holler, while he
deeps, re still:"
Don't Dill:. hoefn , IrAra% est aha snows de lotelL
.
L.ELsiIiLKE
.Tan . .;,1575
Old superstitions, like old "religions,
take a great deal- of killing. About
no.four7fOoted creature have religiOus
beliefs .or superstitions- clung more;
tenaciously than -about the cat, from
the feline deity of Egypt, and the
gaunt grimalkih of the witches, to
the tame tabby of our fireside. It iS
difficult, however, to believe that, in
in this quarter of the nineteenth cen , '
tury and among sane Englishmen,
pussy should ever be -an " object of
fear and, foreboding. Yet hear the
story of my fi'iend, the captain of the
Seamew, recently come into port af
ter an unusually stormy, and strange
passage from Baltimore :
We had a capital run for several 1
days. After dropping down the riv
er, we gave her sheet across the - cold/
belt of water that lies,along'the coast
and out we 'swished' into the-Strea
and away along it. '
"Jack; •ays I to my mate, who has
sailed with me in the Seamew a
many years, ' home in' thirty days
'llurapii,' said Jack, 'maybe. Jack
wa.: a Scotchnian, ccu►tious'•about
an
Well, Op. March 14 (1 have - reason
to remember the date) a little after
o'clock, in latitude 4 I ° - north . and
longitude 53° west (' just taken
,
our bearings- and remettrber 'em);
was sweeping round with , my glass
careless like when I si , j.lited a ship
on our starboard bow. .1 had
. a good
look ;. she was abarque,:and was -fly
ing signals of distress. 1 called .lack.
'Jail,' said I when'he had lOoked;
what do you think ? We must bear
.doWn on her, I suppose?'
'll4luiph; said Jack. 'Ay, I sup
pose:'
T(,NV: A 1) l'A
18M,900
- 68,600
N. N. ETTS, Cashier
Aril 1, 157.9,
GOODRICH It HITCHCOCK. Publishers.
DRUNK IN THE STREET.
UM
SOLID CHUNKS OF• WISDOM.
few rt•marks,
=
4111 your blow;
1)0 not try to run .lis 6uvernuma 'as a farmer
runs a fait).:
-
eldsi:y sl:t1;1. . .
N. silken nion.taelie ellen cover.; a very wicked
~n,outli.
If you'd reach tre top roue• perue'nent, bo sure
an* - sav : "I will.—
--Jvh:&l.E-. 't 's u
- - --
Bewitched in Mid-Ocean.
• Thrice the !winded cat bath ntil;wed
We shortened_sail and bore.dowm
We
. canie 'within hail, but _nobody
answered from the barque.. .Present
ly, though,'a boat was launched and,
pulled toward us ; but their pulling
was weak and ‘.lippy.'
Then a man stood up in the mid,
dle of the boat, tugged his coat oil
and waved it, sang out; 'Ahoy' !-
Ahoy P in .a half cracked: kind of
voice. This was othl, and tramped
up and down, impatient to hear what
•
they wanted; - • • -
‘We . :are starvina That's what
the captain - that stood upin_the .
'We are
.starvinig,' says he.
'The Lily of Ply mouth, outward
bound for Baltimore.'
We got !ern up the side. I,took
the wager into the cabin, and sent
the men tor'a.rd.. Lord ! to see that
►uan drink and eat With a delirious
eagerness, as yuu Might say, and yet
afraid to' eat ton -last 0r.,t00 much.
lie knew he must keep in his awful
appetite, and still- it would-keep a
breaking from him. He
_told us their
story in scraps between; ' They' had
been provisioned for three months,
and that Was their 125th day out!
The weather they had experienced
had been most peculiar; not stormy,
but playful and perverse-like ; some
timea blowing this way, sometimes
that, ,often not blowing at iti. -- Near
eleven _weeks had gone 14 before
they sighted Cape Henry, TO when
they did, : down came a furious,
sprawling nor'wester, and drove 'em
out to sea'again. And so they had
. I.waten-about, in adverse winds, of
course, ever since. Their last drop
bf ivater and - iheir last serail of , bis
cuit went five days afro. Then they
came to cooking their boots, and
sucking the oil from the lamps—even
from the binnacle.
'We ate my dog last 1' And the
poor fellow burst into tears. 'As
suvo--as fate. said he, looking oddly
at me, 'we have been bewitched.
' 'Bewitched!' said I. 'What, now
—what makes you think of suchh a
thing?'
'Ah, well,'said _he, doni, knoW.
But, we'll, see.'
r After that he was in a burl to re
turn to his ship. We filled tlie4r boat
-and •a boat of our own with all the
provisions we thought we could spare
(and there were thirteen of 'em, an
-awkward number IQ feed). Jack
went with our boat, and when he
came back, says he to me:
''That skipper's not a bad sort, tho'
he be a Cardiff man. He's sent ye
this keg o' spirits—and WS maybe as
well out o' their way nOw—and,
what d'ye think ? four it ottles
.champagne in the basket he c 1 They
had thought o' savivitthem for land
sight, but he's sent them to you.'
We looked in the basket of- cham
pagne at once. • The bottles lay
sloped in, with their heads out: Un
derneath was a little packing-straw,
and underneath that—oh, Jack's face
and language when he saw it I—a
tabby, a brinded cat, lying curled up
asleep.
'Oh !' cried Jack. Oh, the, sly, un
grateful devil! This is your Welsh
thltn, vow Tatfy! This is what he
uoht lie was bewitched , wi' 1 And
.4 1 ,
been afraid to make away wi' it !
he sends the witchcraft here !
Th!e coward he is ! But we'll play
opah's trick, and chance the, whale.'
So he Seized the cat and swung
out hid arm to toss it oVerboard ;
when my little Maggie, that sailed
with in'e, this voyage, and that scarce
understood his words; but understood
his action; caught his wrist,and eked:
- 'Oh, no, Pease, Jack ! Give it to
me!'
Now Jack was very fond' of her, so
1M arrested his act at her bidding at
once ; bat lie said, beWitehed,
though, Maggie lass. If .1 don't be
lieve in that 'sort o' thing,
there'i
them here that.ilo,' with a glance-_at
the men for'ard.
'Ay, sir, there be,' said .Dick San
dys, ari uld iseanian who had been
standing by all 'the while helping to
haul up the boat by the davitline,
and keeping, as I had ollserved, a
sidelong eye on the basket. 'There's
them aboard this here Searnew,and I
don't say as what I ain't one on - 'em
myself, as straight soft'. begin to
think the rare luck of this here pres
ent v'yage is. gone. But they'll-dread
worser luck, - sir, if 'ye throw over
.board a brinded cat as has been car
ried aboard across water.'
'ls that:so?' asked Jack. .
'Yes,' said I,in a low voice. 'l've
Beard that bef4e. But," said I aloud,
and lool•:iug at DiCk, and trying to
work oil', my :uneasiness a-joke,
•hdw can you liave a "sea" or any
other "mew" %\!ithout a 'eat ?'
`This cat,' said 'scarcely
looks . as if she would mew: again.
Just look at her--skiri and bone.'.,
My little Maggie had waked 'her
up with stroking, and the wretched
creature tried to stand and to walk,
rubbing against Maggie's leg. But
she fell over amin and' again. Jack
caught the animal up, and sniffed her
breath, 'while she gave him an avert
€(.l look, which to me seemed almost
human.'
_‘S . 'elp me!' cried Jack. they
haven't made - her drunk, so that she
ghoul() come here - quiet!- Did ye ever .
see a cat like her ?'
When Maggie carries/ the eat' into
the cabin, I tramped up and down
the deck, more uneasy thand Cared
to let,myself. know.: It was not (as
Ltold Jack) that I was a believer in
the superstitions - about, cats which
many - sailors' still encourage, but be
ehuse I knew what despprate work-it
would be, if anything should htippen,
to keep in hand a crew that had giy:
en themselveS up.
It wast,g,etting on_ in the afternoon,,
and 1 wI still tramping to and fro,
when that Cat rushed on deck, with
Maggie after It jumped up on
the bulworks, and, looking and pok
ing its noseover the water, meawed.
It leaped back to the (leak, and ran
along toward the fo'c'sle and round'
the caboose, And stopped.and mchwed,
again. It -ran back towardand:
looked round and mmisved a third,
tune; and its mewing wasloud and
distressfril, as if it wanted to be let
out or let in. Mahic followed, call
ing 'Puss, puss ! poor pussy !' And
-there was I; andack, and farther off
all the crew looking on and wonder
jrlef at the creature's movements and
'cries: .There were peculiar one:sided
'glances 'and - head shakes, I shw,.6x
plianged by the men. To diseottra,ge
any-notion there might: he that I also I
felt concerned,. 1 turned to bp
and down - as Wore, having first lit'
my pipe:. What did that•cat do but '
trot-off .at_ ny heels; looking up and
'ineawing with a kind. of bitter greed
iness, as if-I were the cat's-meat man!'
`Catcji• it, Maggie,' said, 'and
m nivsomethingSomethin to eat.'
• • I'Ve given. it something,_ father,'
said Maggie, 'and it won't eat it..
But maybe it will now ;' and she.
managed to seize and entry it off.
Now, standing .still, I noticed that
the smoke of my pipe, instead of be
ing blown away, was curling slowly
about my head, rising a little and
forming. a bit of clond_and then melt
ing, away straight np. I did not like
these: signs. ThLapsfas a change
working -Itznind tn the weather ; of
= '
Ed
TOWANDA, BRADFORD 0011M4, PA., THURSDAY MORNING, AUGUST 4, 1881.
which, let me tell you, the glass had
given no warning.
We hadi been having a clear sky
and a freskbreeze the breeze fell
slack, our sails flapped, and 'bilged,'
like as- if in disgust, and the most
curious dimness - and thickness came
down around the ship. lam too old
a sailor to make a note of every odd
change in the look of the sea or sky,
but that was the oddest change I
ever saw in mid-ocean. I have read
a d al of poetry at sea, and I used to
write home pieces - to nee's moth
er, when she wasalive, God bless
her! and so . I have' always by me a
sort of taste and eye for what you
would call 'poetic effects.' Well, the
effect that day as the nor'west breeze
fell dead, . and the sun began to go
down, I shall never forget. It became
very cold, and a mysterious-looking
haze :gathered about the ship in a
eircli that got always narrower and
narrower, till we bad not a hundred
feet of clear - view all round. The sea
lost its briskness and ripple •, it took
on a dull, steely, oily look, and glided
and slid about, as if it were the back
of a monstrous snake. We 'seemed
at the bottom of a pit. of darkness
and deviltry; • and the bottom we
rested on was the fathomless Atlan
tic ! All around us the encroaching
haze, and rising behind and above it
a dense, dark" wall of cloud, touched,
in the weit, atits lofty broken edges
with the dim glory of the setting sun,
and showing a little space of pale,
pure blue above, and in the east and
south appearing like an inaccessible
gray cliff. From the depths of this
cliff seemed to come by and by faint
labored sighs, which gradually be
came wilder and prolonged them:
selves Into wails of distress and pairi.
We shortened sail at once down to
the lowertop-sails.
Between 9 and 10 I tucked'uiy lit
tle Maggie safe into her berth, and
turned in myself, though I knew it
.would be only for a little while.
Tbat cat I did not see anywhere
about.
I was waked suddenly by my head
being bumped against the side-of my
berth. There was a loud report, like
the going off of twenty muskets ; I
felt a sudden spasm as of choking; I
caught at my berth and sprang to
my feet. You have never been in a
hurricane, I dare say ? when
it first swoops down, it seems to shut
you and the ship up:with too much
breath. In another minute I was on
deck ; the report had been the noise
of a sheet blown.. to . pieces. Jack
was roaring
,through the trumpet, the
men were shortening sail—you,could
just hear the sharp creak of ropes
and pulleys through the wind—and
that wretched cat was hid somewhere
about, meawing - its very worst'.
_lt
was two in the morning; hurricane
from the northeast with bitter rain,
and we lay-to with the lee clew of
the tower maintop -sail. All on till
dawn and through the day it blew
and shrieked its loudest. Two men
were at the wheel to keep her head
up, but I knew that for all that we
were driving rapidly back on dur
track. The drift in the air was so
dense that we could not see-five yards
beyond theship; and by 5 o'clock it
was dark. About 6 o'clock a great'
sea -struck our bows,= carried away
our head, and let a rush Of water like
a mill-race over our decks. We re
coiled a great distance, and settled
lie wily in the trough of the sea. But
we rose again with a shudder.
On the second day; after daylight,
the hurricane abated, though it stilb
blew a stiff gale. But we were able
to :slacken something
_of the grim
tenacity of our vigilance, and to look
at each other . again. I liked not the
looks I met. We had passed with
comparatively little damage through
a terrible danger; and that would
have been enough, you would, -have'
thought, to lead the sailors ,to think
that both , weather and ship were un
der altogether different and better
guidance than the witchery of a tab
by cat; Yet they looked sullen and'
luipeless, and I could see from the
w4y they eyed the creature, and drew
ofF.ffrom it and its dirimal. mewings,
that they were still:bound by a dread
of what it, might bring upon them. I
inuilt confess that I myself disliked
the '.cat, though it seemed moved to
Wander up and down the deck 'and
intotheoabin, and to lameat as it
did More by some kind of distress
than from spite. - Maggie wis the
only one who took any notice of it;
And she fed it and followed it about
with an unwearied devotion to which
the creature did not at all respond.
Next day, though the gale contin
ued- to abate, our 'Plight was little
improved.. -The Seamew carried her- ,
self heavily, , though we could not
discover she was making water. The
wind was still northeast, against
which she not only made no head,
but kept losing way. I was, there
-fore, not surprised when Jack came
to me in the cabin and said :
'There's somoth in g , going on for'ard
' 7 —no end o' talk and tobacco-juice.'
1. We went on deck.
1-= 'Look at them,' continued Jack,
'there by the chains. See how they
'shove their shoulders into each other.
When a . sailor does that, and. pulls
his own ear as Dick Sarklys is doing,
there's soniething up And they half
look this way. Ah,"here they come.'
There were three of them, headed
by Dick Sandys, shyly shouldering
their way aft. Dick • came
.pretty
straight, pulling at his ear, with . his
eyes eatit. down, but with his round,
ruddy face..shining-steudily..forwarC
his comrades lurched about, looking
from 'side to side, and touching things
as they passed.
'Well, Dick,' mid ',Olt want to
speak to me t ' suppose, you and your
mates?'
'Ay, ay, air; if you will kindly
give us a word. Me and them,
jerking his thumb over his shoulder
—'come as as ileppytation from the
fo'c'sle. We ain't got no notion . o'
dictating to the capting, but we want
to put ye in possession, sir, of what
we're a-thinking about. Eh, mates?' -
'Ay, ay.'
'We see how it's a-going to be :
This here v'yage 'll never come to
no good end. The Seamew 'll'never
agin get into no harbor ; and some
day one of , them big steamers 'll run
across her all a•rotting, wi' not a sign
-,..( .. --.
a.
(
. ,
"7 - - • .
••..., . • . . .
~;~=c7.~;1i)A, Is)~i~):~;t~l;t~~/.VV(~);i ;7~)'~•~;~'~~a~l•~ ~~i v:~t~
ME
o' life aboard but a cursed striped
cat In the rigging. It's bound to live
somehow;—eh, mates? Well, sir, we
ain't a-blamin' nobody. It's our luck;
and the damned trick o' that Lily.
That's bound to be our luck wi' that
there cat aboard , ; but it's not to be
expected as how we'll take it meek
and mild. Well, ye see, sir, they say
worser luck- if ye throw her over
board." Jest- so. But this is what
we were a-thinking : Suppose we set
her adrift in anold tab.'
• This dark suggestion he conveyed
in a low voice, with his hand to the
side of his mouth, after a glance
round to make - sure the cat was not
within hearing. Then he looked at
me With a steady wistful eye ; his
mates fidgeted'afid looked over the
ship's sides, as though they felt half ,
ashamed of the plot to Which they
had given their adherence.
I considea_moment. I had, of
ecurse, no real belief that getting rid .
of the cat thus would givwus a fair
wind ; yet still it was worth trying ;
it involved'only the sacrifice of the
cat; and if it did not change the wind,
it would at least change the looks of
my. crew. But what would little
Maggie say ?, However, I turned at
once to Dick.
• 'You can try it,' said I. give
you full leave—though, mark you,l
don't believe in the nonsense. B ut
get bold of it without my little girl
seeing you.' ,
,
ay, sir.'
Ah, it was - a bad night. The wind
whistled*ropes and cords, and spars
and rigging creaked wearily. The
broken Water every now and then
came awash on our bulwarks,' and
swirling and hissing over ns. Ah,
my hearties, believe me it's. better
ashore than at sea! Thereat was got
and put into the tub, and over she
went into the darkness and the rush
and hiss of the mighty waters with a
dreadful meaw, that in..de 'our flesh
creep.
I was glad I did not seelhe men's
faces. I felt—l don't know what.
Then I went aft a step or two till I
was close to
,the wheel an a looking
astern.:l had;stood maybe a minute
or more, wheni=lo and behold I I saw
just where the,glimmer of the binna
cle light fell on the bulwarks,
the
head and the staring eyes of the
cat! I dashed forward just on the
impulse. It :was clambering on , Ward
again. .
'Down, you 'brute I' I cried, push
ing at - it. God, ! how it clawed into
the wood! 'Down, you wretch ! - you
devil l'
.It maimed terribly and held on
with every claw;but—yes, yes with
furious, half-terrified hands—l tore
itaway and flung it out. I had "not
'noticed 'that the men had come about
me..
'Ah ! save and deliver us, sir 1'
said Dick at' my elboTir. 'You've
done for uSI now ! • Lord knows
what'll happen P
•In . the fee'ble light I saw his and
his coinpanions' faces staring on me
with a ghastly terror. I felt now like
a fool _and a criminal. Dick had
barely done speaking, and I had just
turned:around, when a little white
figure appeared. It was my little
Maggie..
'Father "she whispered, 'where are
you ? I heard my pussy meaw and
I can't find her. Where is she ? Have
you seen my pussy, father ?'
`Your father has throws her into
the sea, missy,' said onrof the: men.
'And what'll come o't, God knows.' •
How exasperated I was with that
man ! 'You'd better go for'd, you
men,' was all-I said, however. But,
before any of us had time to stir,--the
crest of a wave, like a great *bite
flying mane; flung 'itself over and
drenched us. I caught Maggie in'
my arms aldripping, and carried her
below. She Said nothing, but looked
at- me in a way that, cut me to the
heart ; - her gaze was frightened and
half turned away. •Irhad - no word to
say for myself. tchanged her,night=
gown and - put her . hack in her berth.
She - -shivered and • snuggled down
with her bead under the bed-clothes.
Atter a little she peeped out and said
to me :
'When. you are some day angry
with me, will yo - o - maybe throw me
into the sea
I could not bear it. , oq, Maggie,
My child, my darling l' I cried, taking
hersin mfarms ; '4lOO talk and look
like that.: The cat - was a' bad cat,
and brought us ill-luck and bad
weather.' . .
`I thought,' said Maggie simply,
'it was God that made the weather.
I was silent. After a pause she cried:
want my pussy back, father. Get
-me it back. It was not bad, and I
liked it''
wish, my dear,' I said, could
bring you it back.'
Wag it . a meaty I. heard, and a
scratching, or was it only the wind
above,: and the dash of the water at
the port-hole? Maggie had heard it,
too; She sat up, and her eyes were
fixed on the port-hole: With some
difficulty .1 'pulled it open,. and in
scrambled the cat! .
I was never more delighted by the
sight of any living thing than 1 was
by the return of that poor, half
drowned cat Such a weight of guilt.
was lifted off' l me ! I felt almost like
a little boy-again, there, with my lit
tle girl beside me. The to do Mag
gie and I made 'over the poor, out
raged creature! I confess to you .
truly ; the. team came to my eyes.
Maggie kissed it and cuddled it, all
wet and shivering . as it was, the
braveqittle swimmer I I went to the
cook and got some hot mess.for it to
eat, and prepared a snug little bed
before the cabin stove, and poor
grateful pussy licked_my hand:
'Captain!' ; Captain!' I. heard eag
irly whispered from the top of the
cabin' steps: - I should have been on
deck, and I was turning to go 'after
- a glance at , Maggie, with a ghawl
aboutber sitting down by her recov
ered pussy—when the cook stumbled
hurriedly down into the.esliin, whis
pering in terror, 'They've got at the
spirits, captain, and they're. mad !
They've knocked Dick down for
standing up for you, and they're sure,
as you threw the cat overboard, the
NM
only. may to save We ship is to throw
you after it! They're coming l'
And before another word could be
said, or anything do*: they were
come. suppose they at once sus ,
pected the cook of being informer;
in a moment .he was gagged and
bound. I stood before them with
what calmness I had; though I felt
my cheek pale and my blood tingle
to see all he desperate crew crowded
in before" e. They were not drunk;
they were only primed to'the Dutch
courage point : their faces were
bloodshot and resolute.
'What is the meaning of this, my
men?' I asked firmly. 'Mutiny?'
°. At the'dreaded word they quailed
a little . ; but Bill Bowser—he who
had told Maggie I had drowned the,
cat, and-who seemed the ringleader
—made - a step forward and said (he
was an ugly slab of a Man, with
something like a squint, but he could
speak to'the point): -! •
'No mutiny, captain, only self
-preservation, the first law o' nature.
That darned cat has been thrown
overboard, and to save the ship and
all the rest on as you must follow it,
captain, 'cause you done it.'
I was about to - speak, when Mag
gie, who looked very much surprised,
but not in the least frightened, said
(standing up in her sweet childish
beauty, with the shawl. slipping from
her shoulders),,: 'Look, pussy was in
the-'sea, but she's come, back again ;'
and She showed them the cat in her
arms.
They 'were .dumhfoundered, and
smitten with confusion. They stared
at me, and at Maggie and the cat,
and they shouldered toward the stair.
Bill Bowser again made himself
spokesman,
'l'm blest,' said he, 'but that cat
has the devil in her. as sure as David !
But lot& a-here, captain, we must
just-set her adrift again, and tie her
in this time.'
'Now,' said I, 'I won't allow a hair
of that cat to be touched again„ And
I advise all you men to clear out of
this at once, or I shall take note of it
and reckon it an attempt at mutiny.'
I spoke in a loud, commanding time,
to rouse Jack; who was in his berth
close by.
'Oh, you will, will you ?' said Bow
ser, Low snarling out the rebelious
spirit natural to him; awl • sugges
tively lowering his head and drawing
up his sleeve from his right wrist;
felt sure he had his knife lhandy. . 'lf
it's to be reckoned mutiny, it may as
well be made worth the reckoning.
Down with him,,mate's !'
• I caught the gleam of the knife ; I
had no weapon ;..I„threw my cap in
his face, and next instant floored him
with my fist. At this juncture, as
in answer• to little Maggie's cry, out
burst Jack, half-dressed, 'revolver in
hand.
'Hallos! Eh ? What's this ?' he
cried.
• took the revolver from his liand
,and pointed it among the. men, i'ho
looked some sulkyoome bewilderei,
but none inclined to follow Bowser's
initiative:
'Now,' said I, give you another
chance. 'Be off at Stnce to the fo'c'sle,
or —' I clicked thg ,rigger of the re
volver. -
ay, emptainilirthey murmured,
and tumbled up to the deck as fast
as they could. 'We:didn't mean no
harm, sir; pleaded • Jhose who were
nearest me, and who were forced to
linger.
No,. the lubbers ! .no harm ! ,But
if Bill Bowser had struck ine down
with his knife, they would not have
moved a finger or a tongue to save
me, or to 'keep themselves ; fr . pm the
crimes of , mutiny and murdee r on the
high seas. Yes ; that's whs.% your
merchant-Seamen have come to, now
adays I As for Bill Bowser,he was of
course put inAronS. - .
Now, sooniafter daylight; with a
nasty sea still running and the wind
in the southeast,. the man .at the
look-outsighted.a bark with signals
'of distress tlymg. She was, about.
two miles 'off . our larboard quarter.
By-and-by we
. signalled what was. the
matter. ' Leaking,' was the answer ;
'-all hands at the pimps.' Then he
•set the 'ship's letters, and we made
Out the:name—;-what do- . .you think ?
—the Lily! Could it be the same
Lily the' Lily of Plymouth=as we
had passed on
. our other quarter
nearly a week ago? It might be ;
for; ye see,. these, these hurricanes
often, maybe always,twork in a cir
cle. Cy.clone,Wye say ? Al, yes;
that's what we call them when met
in the tropics. Well, we bore
_down
on each other, and I took the oppor
tunity of having a word or two with
my men, to set myself - right- with
_them, and to make them, it' I could,
throw off that superstition ,'about the
eat. I called them aft.
Now,'-said I, you needn'Tt' look
frightened; rm not going`•to- say
anything .about last night's affair. I
agree to call it all a mistake, if you
give up your foolish, old wives' no-
tion about my cat here. • I say my
cat, because I am determined to take
it home with me, and :leave it with
My little girl here. , icoii,.look at it;
hasn't it the nicest little face a cat
ever tiad ? How, can ye believe there
is a dtv in the creature?' •
"l he devil,'says one, often hangs
out the prettiest figureheads, sir.' .
Well,' said I, .‘ that's true. :13ut
now,- you're sailors ; you can't refuse
shelter, and you can't surely think ill
Of a poor dumb creature that was
twice thrown into the sea, and twice
Came back to the old ship, and that
after all licked the hand that threw
her out--ay,-and—look ye !-IVks it
now.' • •• - •
Hooray for the Captain !' .
. But, my. hearties,' said 1, 'there's
another. thing. And this was my
strong point. ' You see -that bark
,out there ? She's called
. the Lily,
-and I. believe she's the' same as smug
gled this cat aboard - Ot us. Now,, has
she gained anything by losing the
cat When she's been caught in the
same hurricane as we have, and she's
come worse out of it ; she's driven
'far from her course, and she's leak
ing dangerously.
They. turned and looked at each
other and .nodded; they. evidently
thought-there was something in it.
We keep . the -,cat, then,' said 1,
... .
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~.,.. .• L 1 t i_.. _
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._
whether the Lily would liko it back
or no. •la that agremll'
Ay, ay, sir.'
It.was a bad sea, but we lowered a
boat as we and the Lily approached ;
1 particularly wanted to go aboard,
of her. I got the basket out in which
pussy had come to 'us, replaced , her
as we had found her, and put the
empty champagne bottles on top.
The crew of the Lily were drop
pini with fatigue when we went
aboard, but, Lord! to see how the
skipper and them about him woke
up when they saw us. Astonishment
is no word for it.
Good God l', he exclaimed. '.And
you are the Seamew !' .
And you are the Lily,' said I.
That was a nice present you sent
me. I have brought back the bottles
and the basket ; and so saying, I un - -
covered pussy, Who, to my amaze
jumped out at once and bound
ed off. I
_had only intended to show
the skipper , slie was there. The . poor
maiVstared-his , jaw droppeil, and he
sank downita , a coil of rope, with
his head in‘ his handic , littering it
long, hopeless grc. - _ •
Come, my f ind,' cheer up,' I
said.
We'Ve almost nothing' -to eat,'
Said he.; 'we've been at the pumps
two"days, and now that brute has
come baciil There's no 'use stand.:
ing by them any more; our voyage
comes to an end here, and down,
down we go. We might a's well have
kept the beast; the old wretch's
words have come true, and we finish
in the middle, as she said.'
I doubted his mind was wander
ing. Come,': said I, 'bestir your
self and :give . orders. There's no
use staying by . the ship any longer;
you.must abandon her tlnd come with
me.'
What I Leave the Lily ? She's a
good old ship, and she's any own ;
no, I'll go down with her and that
cursed cat. Take Off the crew,
however, and thank you.'
I couldn't make up my mind to
think him deranged, and yet Just
then the eat came libtinding along
the deck with something in her
mouth, and. all the hands paused and
stared. She put it in the basket at
my feet where she herself had lain,
and again bounded away. It was a
kitten ! and alive ! The: skipper star
ed stupidly: Presently pussyyeturn
ed with another.
That's.what's done it cried the
skipper with.gathering fury ;
got rid of her, they were here, and I
never kneir it 1' lie rose in his rage,
and, seizing a crowbar, would have
smashed and
. all, but he . was easily
restrained and disarmed. .
‘ - Letime have them, said I ; -‘ my
the girl will like them:
• What !' he . cried in something
like.an. ecstasy of gladness. And
you will take the mother, tool' Then,
becoming_irgaiii despondent, but it's
of noise now, I feel we are going
down.'
Pussy had-returned with her third
kitten which was dead, and hair be
gun to' puiT with delight and to rub
herself found my leg, when he rous
ed., raiself and ordered all hands to
take to- the boats. We stood• by
them - iii ----- ourpwn -boat (with pussy
and her brood in the basket oii the
stern-Seat),,lwaiting to give them a
tow : line to 'our ship When all the
hands were in the boats, there. was a
pause: Was not the skipper com
ing ? Cast off.' The Lily
was settlin„cr4own rapidly, and the
crew east-off With little concern. The
skipper's last act was to launch with
a curse ti 'bfb - ken pUlley-block at the
basket in our stern,:as we rowed off.
It just Missed the boat, and slashed
into the' sea. The - ,Lily • went doXii
before we reached the Seamew.. '
Nest day; we had "afair wind i and
our crowded - ship crowded all ' sail
and went merrily racing, dipping
and splashing for home. In our new,
bright hopes of our voyage we all, I?
think,' felt . rather ashamed of our
dreadful. suspicioni of pussy. At
any rate, everyone' showed the ut
most tenderness and solicitude for
her and her two kittens.
How had, the kittens been; kept•
alive on-the : Lily all thatweek? you
ask. I don't know ; but I have heard
of a rat playing the part of mother
under. Similar circumstances, and I
am certain • there w're rats in the
.
. De Lake Sho' train aut. de one
we is lookin' fur, boss, kase I'se go
ing to Send-de ole woman to Toledo.
Poo'•Ole soul! she's been eryin' - all
de mawnin'_ kase she's g7ine away
from me, an' to tell de Ara, I can't
keel) de tear outer my own eyes
long 'null' to see 'cross de depot.!-
It was an old, old, - colcred man,
stoop-shouldered, trembling with old
age. He was accompanied by his
aged wife, who had on her Sunday
best -and carried a bundle in her
hand: She was wiping her eyes Oh
a handkerchief.•
1 ‘ Is-your wife going away on a
visit ?"
" llress you. no S :We wouldn't be
feelin' if it war only a
wisit. You see, salt, we's got so ole
an' poo' dat Re can't keep house, nor.
tiirn any filo'. • We's felt it
comin' on fur a longtime past; but I
Heber s'pected de Clay_ would come
when we'd have to separate.' - .
Then . sbe won't come back?'
Dat's.,what ails us. You see, Pze
got a son here who will gib me a
home, and she's got adarter down
in Toledo who will take keen of her.
She's gwine,away dis mornin'; an' I
neber sot eyes on her no
mo'. 'Tain't/fur down dar, but-we's
poo' ole, an' I'se gwine ,to kiss
her fur de las'-time. Tfolknp your
face, Mary, till I kiss ye! You an'
me has trabbled in de same path
in'.of sixty y'ari, an' now when we
am grown ole are poo' an' waitin' fur
de call, we has got to separate! Dar,
Dar,' chile, don't take on, so! It's
sumthin' we can't help, an' if you
sob that way you'll brake de ole man
right down. Dat's de train Ober dar'
ani—ani-----
He . put his" arm . . around her, an
his tears fell on her cheek as he salt
We slabed together, an', an' we
ban starved an' shibered an' met trou
" Gwine Away."
81.00 per• Annum In Advapee.
ble wid de same speerit.
—it's all fur' de best! Maybe de
Lam' will bring us tokethei agin. If
—he doan' dO.it, you'll meet me dar
in Ileaben. We kin trust de Lawd
fur dat. If I git dar' fust, I'll wait
for you right at de gate, an' ,if you
am fust taken, I know you'll - watch
fur me.'
She kissed him and clung -to him
like a child; and it was only when
the train was ,ready to go that he dis
engaged her arms, kissed her once
more, and led her to the gate with
the words : ' ,
I'll be -
,Prayia' de Lawd to be
good to ye,. an' I'll fink ofl ye ebery
hour in-.de day.- Beep down your
sobs, chile—we can't be no
mo'. Here you' good-bye—good bye.'
She went , away sobbing like a
child, and he passed out of the depot
with tears in his eyes and 'a heart al
most breaking with sorrow.
'l.ll trust—l'll trust is ile Lawd,'
he whispered, as he went his way.
' Tell ye what, it's powerful on two
ole folkses like us to be 'all broke up
an' separated, like dis, but we couldn't
do better. Bress her dear soul! imt
de poo' body was nigh done fur Wia
g rief when I turned away de. las'
ithe Quad. - - -
The Farmer's Hired Man.
'l'm kinder lookin' around the
market for *hired man," he-exclaim
ed as he stopped at one of the:stands
and -nibblcd' at an onion. kinder
need one, but yet I kinder hope I
Shan't be able to find him: _
`How's that?' --,
'Wall, there ain't—no profit in a
hirecLman no more. ' Np, sir, he's no
ffood any longer.'
P 'What's the reason?'
`Oh, a dozen reasons.' ,First and
foremost, times have changed,' and
the hired man has changed with 'em.
Ah ! sir, it make_ S• me sad.,when I
think- of the hired men we had before
the war—great big fellers, with the
strength of an ,ox and the vim of a
locomotive. I didn't have to holler
my lungs out to get one of 'em out
of bed at 3 o'clock in the morning,
:md- it was all Lcould.do to coat 'cm
to go :to bed at 10 o'clock at night.
I'm afraid that we sha'n't, never sec
no more •hired men wrath keepin'
around for their bohrd ' -
"nat's sad.' o -
`lt's sad,, and more; too. Now, as
I said, I want a hired man. I'm will
ing to ..pay $ll or $l2 a month for a
smart - one. Some, farmers. want a
man 'to work all day and all night,
but that ain7t me. I never asked one
to get out of .bed before 3.o'clock—
neVer. alias give .my man three 7
quarters of an hour , at noon, unless
the hogs i l7et out, or cattle break in,
or shoWer is coming up. • After a
man has Worked right along for nine
hours .his system wants at least - half
an hour to brace up in. They don't
quit work on some farms till S
o'clock, but I'm no such slave driver.
At half-past 7 I tell my man to knock.
off. All he has to dO after that is.to
feed the -stock, - cut . a little wood, mow
some grass for the horses, milk four
cows, fill up the, watering trough,
start a smudge . in the smoke house,
and pull a few weeds in the garden.
1 never had a'hired man who didn't
grow fat on my work, and they antis
left me feeling that they hadn't half
earned their wages.'
He stopped long enough to wipe a
tear from his eye, and then went on
,‘And now look at:the hired man of
to-day! He wears-white shirts .and'
collars. Ile won't eat with a knife.
Hd wants napkins when he eats, and
if we don't hang up a clean towel
once a week he wipes on . his hand
kerchief. • Call him at 3 and he gets
up,at C. He wants a whole hour at
noon, and after supper he starts off
to a singing school or sits down to a
newspaper. Fifteen years ago if my
hired man was sick for half a day I
could dock him. If he died I could
take out a month's waffes for the
trouble. He was glad-A: get, store
orders for his pay, and he would
gash in the rain barrel and Wipe ,on
the clothes line. There's bin a
change, sir—an awful change, and if
a reaction don't set in pretty soon
you will witness the downfall of ag
riculture in.this country.'
''Then you Won't hire another ?'
I 4 Wall, I can't just say. Work is
powerfully. pressing ; but, I'm goin'
slow. Before I hire him I want to
know whether he's a an who'll pass
his plate for more Meat and-taters,
and whether we've got to use.starch
in-doing up his shirts. The last - man
I had took, me to,task for not hold
ing family prayerX , twice a day,-and
after I had done so fOr three months
I found it was only a game of his to
beat-meout of half an 'hour a day.
He thought he had a pretty soft
thing, and he looked mighty lone
some when I cut Old Hundred down
to two lines and got through with
the Lord's Prayer in forty seuoLids."
--4.leiruit,Free Press.
Seven Babes at a Birth
ALMOST INCREDIBLE-STORY FROM TEN-
. .
A few days since the Louisville
Cott rier,lTern al- contained a special 1
from its Nashville. correspondent to
tire effect that a woman residing' in
Jackson County of that State had
(riven birth to seven children: at one
time. The correspondent telegraphs
that after the first child was born the
painsof,labor . Continued.. lAn exam=
ination convinced the physician that
there were two instead of - one,' and
the woman was soon- delivered 'of a
second child, both girls. The physi
cian gave direction as to the care of
both mother and children, and pre
.pared to take his leave. Before reach
ing his house, .at the gate, he was
recalled and delivered the woman of
another girl baby. Again the; phy,
sician took h leave, and again was
re-called, bringing to light another
girl baby.' This was „considered re
markable, And the physician was.
greatly puzzled over
.the matter.• He,
however, congratulated the huiband
on his gooefortune, and departed
for home. Ate. had. not gone more
than half a - mile - before lie was over-"
taken by the excited husband of the
woman, who in breathless haste. in
formed him that there, was still an:
NUMBER 10
`.. ESsEE
other child tole bo*: Hastening
back, the physician arrived in - time
to aid in delivering the woman oilier
fifth child. In the course of fifteen
or twenty minutes he was again call
ed to the bedside of the woman and
very soon . the sixth , child was breath
ing the breath of life, after which the
doctor wheat home. He was- soot
again summonedilmounted his horse
and returned to the home of Mr._ B.
He, was too late, however, to be of
any service, as the -seventh child, a
girl; was bo rni a few - minutes previ
ous to his arrival. The doctor re
mained about the premises during
the rest,of the day, but his services
were not again needed , .
Remarkable DlscoverieS.
When you want to. go abywhere
in this country you simply get on
the Pennsylvania . Railroad and go
there. There are several other roads
in these parts, but as the "Pensy"
runs to the came place it amounts to
the same Thing. One time the brake
man was telling me the Pennsylvan;
is railroad company wanted a good
site for the location obits great shops.
It found the place it wanted on the
eastern side of the Allegheny moun
tains, on a beautiful plateau: "That
was just forty years ago. There
were not many people living on that
plateau in 1840. • One daring pio
neer and his family were monarchs
of the unbroken forest that covered
it, and three log huts hidden away
in the shadowy recesses of that for
est, were all the•• indications of chili
zation to be fotiiid there
The railroad compatiy sent out an
'agent to buy the whole plateau, with
written instructions to pay $10,090,
if necessary.. The agent came he
found -the_ pioneer, he put up at his
unpretentious log hut, he told him all
the new stories from the city, he
wrought him into a_good humor and
the settler finally made ready to sell
at $5,000 considering himself a made
man at that. But while he was talking
business, his wife was straightening
up the stranger's room. ...She found a
package.of papers; - womanly curiosity
prompted her to open the unsealed
envelope, -and she read the agent's
instructions. She called her hus
band into the kitchen in a very few
minutes and she 'did what nine wo
men out of every ten wouht . do for
their husbands—she made more mon
ey for him than - he ever dreamed he
would be . worth; more than he 'ever
could hasp made if he hadn't a wife.
When the settler returned he - told
the agent 'that real estate had pick
ed,-up a little during the past ten
minutes, and that die couldn't think
of taking_ less than $lO,OOO for his
claim; There was nothing -- else to
be done; swering . wouldn't help the
matter. 'The 210,1300 was paid.
Four thousand dollars of it belong
ed to the woman, -but I never heard
whether, she got it or not. Ten
years later the Pennsylvania railroad
began building its shops on the
plateau. and now the city of Altoona
has upwards of 20,000 inhabitantS
three or four newspapers, seventeen
churches as many schools and one
convent, the largest - railroad shops
in America, and the Logan - house, a
hotel the' size of Riiode
When was there I slept - in the
northeast county of it too -.7 only
seventeen miles from the, clerk's
Fun,_Fact and Faceiim.
" What is love*.' It is a feeling *that _
you don't want any other felloi. •Doing
around with her. '• _
- Tue new version substitntes "bowls"
of wrath for "vials." —Diem is nothing
stingy about the new version.
INquirtEn-LNoPattl:s First Epistle tai
the Corinthians didn't require more than
one three-eent postage stamp.
Wily is "o" tie most unfortunate of
letters ? Because - it is never in, cash, al
ways in debt, and never-out of danger.
6 ` Furrz " EMMETT says he has signed
the pledge hundreds of tithes. It's- n o
use, however. All signs fail in `dry'
weather." - -
WitENEVF.II young ladies learn so to
stick a pin - in their apron strings that it
won't scratch a fellow's Wrist there will .
be more marriages.
St DA Y evening courting must be
hard thing to understand for after years
of experience young folks are very much
in the dark about it.
Wtto ever saw .-a bat rack? An iron
fence?, lnk - stand ? A bride elected ? A
stove• - polir.li ? A -- horse shoe?- A bill
board ? A shoe last 1 1 _
A FRENTIIMAN in business bas-advertis
ed that he- has:achasm " for an appren
tice.. looked up;the" Word "opening!'
in the diationaily.. • •
A NEWSPAPER, gushing over a recent
painting, says : " In front stands a 'natio
maiden wrapped in her own thoughts."
The scene is laid in latitude one degree
south. •
A BACHELOR on reading that "two lov
ers will sit up all night with one chair in
the room," said it could not - be done un
leis one of them sat on the tloor. Such
ignorance is painful. • •
"AMANTHA,"I3e murmured, with a pa
thos in his voice, ",why do you quiver at
my touch`? Why do you shrink from my
embrace as the startled fawn trembles at
the rustlings of . the - autumn . . leaves:"
"I've been vaccinated," she said."
Somi: fellow has discovered that there
are 83,324 ways of spelling scissors. If
he had been Correcting manuscript for a
newspaper he would have disfo'vered that
there are about 9t 9,909 of spelling
every word in the English language.
BRIT HARTEN :tirf,t poetic "fragment"
commenced in these words—" I sipped
the nectar from her lips • I sipped and ho.
vered o'er her." And the last -two lines
were as follows-." lier father's hoof
dashed on the scene. I. am wiser how,
and sorer."
ScENs. - - hotel reading -loom. Gentle
man : "I heg your pardon, but where in
hell have I'seen you before, sir?" Gen
tleman (looking up from paper): "I am
Sure I can't tell. What part of hell are
you from, sir?"
AN old bachelor was courting a widow,
and both had sought the aid of art to give
their fading hair a darker shade. "That's
going to,be an affectionate couple," said
a wag. " How so?" "They- are dying
for each
NEI nuoa's pretty daughter—" How
much is this a yard:" I)raper's son (des
perate "s).oons" on her)—"Only ono
kiss." If it's so cheap I will take three
yards, and grandma will pay you."
IN the - cotrgregations of every day life
the sat:rig-successes arc often made and
in the-sainc:way. -Schoolmistress What
is the dative:of donum ? What ? ; Next
Next Mince " Schoolmis
tressl4" Correct. Go to the head."
"I na, • believc, Mr. Heffe sal&
wife," -- "ttit you mean .to kill the with
your everlasting• conundrums. Why is a •
feline sitting up straight like Niagar.i,?(
You knew I couldn't guess it." • " Well,:
I will tell you," rejoined Heffelspin ; "be
cause it is a cat erect." Mrs. Iletrelspitr
pulled down—her spectacles and started
for the broom, but lleffelspin had busi
ness down town just then.
" How could you think of calling amil
tie stupid ? Go to her immediately and
tell her you at sorry." Freddy- goes to
auntie and says,: "Auntie; I am sorry
you are so stupid.'
SHE was a Boston girl.- She was 'visit-,
ing her Whitehall cousins. While walk
ing out,...severai butterflies passed her:
" 011 i —dear me, - what charming little
birds. They are perfectly exquisite."
"They are not birds, my dear." replied
her country cousin, " they are butter
flies." ." Oh you - don't say so. Then
these are theTilTntr - little creatures that fly
from dower "to flower and- gather the
sweet yellow' butter that we ueei! They
are too lovely•for anything."