TERMS OF PIIBLICATION. The IlaAnr•Onn Rzronria Is published miry • art , day morning by Go °DIU= & EitTgIICOCK, at Ono Dollar per annum, in advance. air dtcrilaing in el cases exclusive of sob rcr ptlon to the paper. . S t• Eel .. L NOT IC ES Inserted at TIN CINTS per line for lirst insertion, and rivr. Cialaperline for each sonsequent insertion, but uo notice Warted for leas than fifty cents. YENTILY ADVIIRTISE3I NTS will beinsert carbt seasonable rates. AAnttnlstraturs and Exec tors 'Notices, 1 - 2; "Auditor's Node e $7..50 ; B tts t essat rds, five lines, ()wt . year) addltioual lines 2 l4 each. Yearly alvertlsers tire entitled to quarterly changes: Trauslent advertisements must be paid for In (104 nee. ' All resolutions of associations; communications of limited or ;1011 . 1:Real Interest. stud notices of so a rr lages or Seat ha.e iccedtng fire kinesareebarg ed EIVE CF:STS, cr line, bat simple ttoticet Of mar ✓ 3114 4tt - will be published circulation tha ulthoutcharge. 'r m.! itgroivr having a larger n any other paper in the. county, mates it the best a .1 vertising inedinm in Northern Pennsylvania. .1 011 INTING of every kind In plain and fines colors, done with neatness and dispatch. Handbills, Blanks. Cards, Pamphlets, Billtreads, ae., of every variety and style,prlnted at • the shortest no).ice. The RENO/MICA office is Wen supplied a itift.power presses.a good mott le •nt of new t ype, , sTol everything in the printing I in , can be execulliii the most artistic manner and at theloWesti: TERMS INtiAILLADTLI ). • Zm uneos garbs.- TAANIES, & HALL, ATTOWSETS , AT - LAW , iiOUTII SIDE OF WARD HOUSE The ripe red mouth, with lips compressed— The rise and fall of the heaving breast—. _ 'The nervous lingers so taper and small, Crumpled the fringe of the tattered shawl As she stood in herplace at the ollicers call, She seemed good and she seemed tender and 7'OIVANDA, PRIMA. I sweet, I)ec '2l 75 MI . xm w..BpK u; ATTORNEY-AT-LAW , N. 7 .c.l i':9 “In , c—At Treasurer's;°Mee, In Court House A. yir 11. E. A. TlTOMpscrx, y • ArrotciursoiT-LAw.TOWANDA.; - PA. Niereor Block, over C. T. Kirlr.4 brug ,;• te. to•ini intro%ted to their care will be :0 Tonle , ' to promptiv. Epecial attention given i.Oon agrilost the United States for PENSIONS. )1' 'STIES. VATF.NTS, etc to collections and 1.1 the se4inent of decedent's'estates. W. 11. TitomPsaN,__ tr.txmcn A. THOMrSON MEM BEVERLY SMITU & II .vn s, ,I..alvr , iu Frel Suws and :N111,14'8 Scit.l i..r I.llce-11.1. Ri.rou - ri:v. Building. 'fc.N\ aloha. 1 .1 L. HOLLISTER, D. D. - S., I_ • P F; S 2: / S 2: ~-, i cet, t •or to Dr. }:. Angir). (IFFICE--St - ToUtl ' la Dr. Pratt's (Dice. .January 6, IbSI t ADILL & KINNEY, ATTORN 0 M•e $ formerly occupied 1 . 1 - Y. M. C. A IBMEM ll..l.>i~nu.t JOHN w. CODPING, A Trot:Nt:v!AT-LAw, TpwAN Pt, r..% Drug St. re. Fr:LOMAS E. MYER 11_YALU' LNG . I'ENNIA. OVEILTUN LAW, Ti,VANDA., MEI= 1 )ODNEY A. MERCUR, 71,7: NV PJrticolar :Ill,.!,11oft paid t . . it, , nrt and to the settle ;• ~f =II i.~ Y~.~~Lrfr,., ~~i~...'r: )vERToN SANDE.R*ON, W I'4) , .VA!s:I)A.:VA 1.. •11 `W . H. .It:SSUP,, , Wt_!!..LN •:•• E1.1.01.1T-L PA ,1 11 ,14, , 1110 practleer , ltlie I, t ‘n, nn n;n•lnn I•nnnt. , ,s.nlni.t, m.lll att.•ll , l to any 1111x . 2- 1:11..1for.1 •i -n.in• vi -11:;n4 111111, cart call an 11. tEN 11"1" ST lIE TER, =I ToWA N PA 1 .1 1 L • 'HILLIS; A Ti.vizNl.l-.1.T-LAW, TiIWANDA,-PA. t illAM K. BULL; 11.1. I •.1.1•1:: AND PIZAFTIN. ti t t "ill: c.. owr ratcla AL Tracy Mal'•• Tot, P. 14 4. Ft. All. ELSBREE & SON, A TTOEN:I".%•Z-AT-L ANS", _ \VA NI/A, N. , to W. MIX, ANI , U. S. COMMISSIONER, 'I'.,W.kNI)A, PA. Fqttar e .INDREW U TT, r.Y•AT-L Maili-st.. over L. Vent's May be con:Ailt,d iteGerhinn. [April 11r. . YOUNG, It TT-1:N ToI.VANDA, PA —M. r , ui l'.irk trccl. tip clairg:-.3:- 1111. S. M.. IN - 001 - 1131.711N, Physi- I I v.cri co at residence, on •t ~ tlr-t .1 ,4,r !.*l.lt 'or . E. Church. Artil 1,1”1. s t, i,r KELLY, ITENTisr—()flice T . ocr r E.' field's, Towanda, Pa. Fr I;,e rt4 . . 1 011 flulthet, and At: 'rvedly..itracted 1 1 I). PAYNE, 1 1 " . r/IYNICIAN AND '7.1 , 11 , 0:0ti. (1.1. (Mice 11(111TS from 10 to t: A . from 2 to 4 0. M. • t.LI :1:1,01;(14.1, 1 7 . 0,1, to ) DISEASES attd _ i'lll i THF: EAR A-1"' E. pERRIGo, I=l Tll , rotigh . ! .....a lq•clally. I,nrated 1:4.1r renre Hrgnms .I:trcli 4, ISM). YA N , ' 11" ( . .UNTV St.rEl:l-7,71.:Nns ty , l!lirtlay 7 )fo 101111 O!' .ver Turfier i):11g 111111113 (4 S. ItITSSELI,'S GENERAL 1 , N51 7 11 - ANCE AGENCY % , t r ',7,,.11 1)WA1111 . ' WILLIAMS, 1 Yr It' .1 7, P7.('31:: I:a n 17 A s FITTER feo doors oortli of Postdl(t:cc Filth Et-pairing I'umps of all ..01 o r 4; e:trit.g , promptly attended 9 ~V.l atll . .ng wt‘rk iti bls Itnef,hoithl givr him Dec. 4,1679. • _ _ , 1, 1, 1 - .8..7..cf NATIONAL BANK, TOWANDA, PA I, l) IN :I'l' l ,l'l4'z. FUND.. • 1 1 .,;:k awls:LIZ fitcflitles tor the trans oaf a gcLeral ECM I I t Exit- ifousEl AI A I N .1 IV A z•IIINGTON gTIigETS Y !:::y I:D. TOWANDA. PA p;:t , .,Tt•illi, to si!lt the times_ Large .::.' , :e attached. W HEN HY, Puorlll-ITOII. MO usn EAV coPIES OF THE ROAD 1 A U ' a i ‘ U. had st "; , 3 OinaLL .1 VOLUME XT,TT, "Drunk, your Worship.," the °Meer said, ' • "Drunk in the street, sir ',She raised her head A lingering trace of the golden grace still softened the lines of her woo-worn race.. Unkempt and tangled • her rich brown hair, Yet With all the furrows and stains of care-- The years of anguish and In and (lei - Pair— The child of the city was passing fair. TOWANDA, PA. This fallen woman found drunk in the street Does the hand that once smoothed tho tipple ant Of that tangled hair lie still In the grave ? Is that mother who pressed those red lips 'to Ler own, . . Deaf to the pain of their smothered moan! , . Ilasithe voice that-chimed to the lisping prayer Sc. accent of hope fol . the lost one there, hearing her Intrtija of sln and deapair. ..,. Ilritok lu thesireet !—ln the gutter found— Irrait a piteslonate longing to crush and drown The soul ofthe wotna4l,She tulgtft hair heed— To fling off th • 'weight of a fearful dream. And at% alo. , again In thit homestead hard by, Anil wooded tuountalnithat touched the sky ; To Iln;;C.,'r awhile on the path to school And catch In the depth of the limpid pool. Under the willow - shade, green and cool, A dimpled face and a laughing eye, And - the pleasant words of the passer-by,' llarrh 1, lEr.l Ye men, with sisters and Mothers and wives, • Have ye notate for these women's lives? Must they starve for the comfort ye never speak Must they ever he erring and sinful and weak— Staggering onward with weary feet, Stained In the gutters and drunk in the street ? "—Good Templar. 0. n.HISNEY • Brother Snort flake here has asked inn 'to make a An' I atn't a:goin' to tell you anything . but wha; • 1 .k.now Delotie - th.,gs I don't know AN Otlld . 1111 a thousan But for fifty - years an , ober, I Gab hail It weedy MI Ltlnk (lat l Is complen . to tell die young Mei 110 W to inn ele In a manly way, de thorny path o life— If )ott ran:t atford to Inty,chatoictgar, just Int cot Pout Ilingint , 'cause you'S ,twenty-Olio ttat yo liab a wife. • ' . I;S.Q.U. l'Ef Don't neber say : "I wish for dib—l AVihil for (la an• t'other,•' . • But git right up, 101 Iron heart,, an' wort fur It. thy ft • Fur uI iin uovor ((admit a plcacun to ute—or brother • • A wllteet, always bocrowln'—al wislier • Leber M rryou would put a fine harness on a spwilned, • worn-out nag ; - - Wtinld de nag go mon' de ract•courm wilt dc speed of Goldsmith Maid? Dun•t 'Leber (nil wieder naldeici honored hag a .• rag— Don't weber be Inn faro bank—v.llcl' do coppers make a raid. it.llN F wi,h talkil,l about one hundred tears f n 4,1 Pray not try to kill a man who rolher dhl you harth: If yt.ll A . 1 7 i01, when you Is dead, a wreath oh laurel F&'27, '79 II . .Vou's born wid homely features, you'll take 'eni • to de grave- 7 I ir• speakiir now of children oh de North as well as Smith : • 'novll-75 But we nv.9i hnh dls advahtage o'er de white a' rkln't till); a ,111311 'eause he hasn't We -1 :to itenienlher dart .`!.le shaller's holler, while he deeps, re still:" Don't Dill:. hoefn , IrAra% est aha snows de lotelL . L.ELsiIiLKE .Tan . .;,1575 Old superstitions, like old "religions, take a great deal- of killing. About no.four7fOoted creature have religiOus beliefs .or superstitions- clung more; tenaciously than -about the cat, from the feline deity of Egypt, and the gaunt grimalkih of the witches, to the tame tabby of our fireside. It iS difficult, however, to believe that, in in this quarter of the nineteenth cen , ' tury and among sane Englishmen, pussy should ever be -an " object of fear and, foreboding. Yet hear the story of my fi'iend, the captain of the Seamew, recently come into port af ter an unusually stormy, and strange passage from Baltimore : We had a capital run for several 1 days. After dropping down the riv er, we gave her sheet across the - cold/ belt of water that lies,along'the coast and out we 'swished' into the-Strea and away along it. ' "Jack; •ays I to my mate, who has sailed with me in the Seamew a many years, ' home in' thirty days 'llurapii,' said Jack, 'maybe. Jack wa.: a Scotchnian, ccu►tious'•about an Well, Op. March 14 (1 have - reason to remember the date) a little after o'clock, in latitude 4 I ° - north . and longitude 53° west (' just taken , our bearings- and remettrber 'em); was sweeping round with , my glass careless like when I si , j.lited a ship on our starboard bow. .1 had . a good look ;. she was abarque,:and was -fly ing signals of distress. 1 called .lack. 'Jail,' said I when'he had lOoked; what do you think ? We must bear .doWn on her, I suppose?' 'll4luiph; said Jack. 'Ay, I sup pose:' T(,NV: A 1) l'A 18M,900 - 68,600 N. N. ETTS, Cashier Aril 1, 157.9, GOODRICH It HITCHCOCK. Publishers. DRUNK IN THE STREET. UM SOLID CHUNKS OF• WISDOM. few rt•marks, = 4111 your blow; 1)0 not try to run .lis 6uvernuma 'as a farmer runs a fait).: - eldsi:y sl:t1;1. . . N. silken nion.taelie ellen cover.; a very wicked ~n,outli. If you'd reach tre top roue• perue'nent, bo sure an* - sav : "I will.— --Jvh:&l.E-. 't 's u - - -- Bewitched in Mid-Ocean. • Thrice the !winded cat bath ntil;wed We shortened_sail and bore.dowm We . canie 'within hail, but _nobody answered from the barque.. .Present ly, though,'a boat was launched and, pulled toward us ; but their pulling was weak and ‘.lippy.' Then a man stood up in the mid, dle of the boat, tugged his coat oil and waved it, sang out; 'Ahoy' !- Ahoy P in .a half cracked: kind of voice. This was othl, and tramped up and down, impatient to hear what • they wanted; - • • - ‘We . :are starvina That's what the captain - that stood upin_the . 'We are .starvinig,' says he. 'The Lily of Ply mouth, outward bound for Baltimore.' We got !ern up the side. I,took the wager into the cabin, and sent the men tor'a.rd.. Lord ! to see that ►uan drink and eat With a delirious eagerness, as yuu Might say, and yet afraid to' eat ton -last 0r.,t00 much. lie knew he must keep in his awful appetite, and still- it would-keep a breaking from him. He _told us their story in scraps between; ' They' had been provisioned for three months, and that Was their 125th day out! The weather they had experienced had been most peculiar; not stormy, but playful and perverse-like ; some timea blowing this way, sometimes that, ,often not blowing at iti. -- Near eleven _weeks had gone 14 before they sighted Cape Henry, TO when they did, : down came a furious, sprawling nor'wester, and drove 'em out to sea'again. And so they had . I.waten-about, in adverse winds, of course, ever since. Their last drop bf ivater and - iheir last serail of , bis cuit went five days afro. Then they came to cooking their boots, and sucking the oil from the lamps—even from the binnacle. 'We ate my dog last 1' And the poor fellow burst into tears. 'As suvo--as fate. said he, looking oddly at me, 'we have been bewitched. ' 'Bewitched!' said I. 'What, now —what makes you think of suchh a thing?' 'Ah, well,'said _he, doni, knoW. But, we'll, see.' r After that he was in a burl to re turn to his ship. We filled tlie4r boat -and •a boat of our own with all the provisions we thought we could spare (and there were thirteen of 'em, an -awkward number IQ feed). Jack went with our boat, and when he came back, says he to me: ''That skipper's not a bad sort, tho' he be a Cardiff man. He's sent ye this keg o' spirits—and WS maybe as well out o' their way nOw—and, what d'ye think ? four it ottles .champagne in the basket he c 1 They had thought o' savivitthem for land sight, but he's sent them to you.' We looked in the basket of- cham pagne at once. • The bottles lay sloped in, with their heads out: Un derneath was a little packing-straw, and underneath that—oh, Jack's face and language when he saw it I—a tabby, a brinded cat, lying curled up asleep. 'Oh !' cried Jack. Oh, the, sly, un grateful devil! This is your Welsh thltn, vow Tatfy! This is what he uoht lie was bewitched , wi' 1 And .4 1 , been afraid to make away wi' it ! he sends the witchcraft here ! Th!e coward he is ! But we'll play opah's trick, and chance the, whale.' So he Seized the cat and swung out hid arm to toss it oVerboard ; when my little Maggie, that sailed with in'e, this voyage, and that scarce understood his words; but understood his action; caught his wrist,and eked: - 'Oh, no, Pease, Jack ! Give it to me!' Now Jack was very fond' of her, so 1M arrested his act at her bidding at once ; bat lie said, beWitehed, though, Maggie lass. If .1 don't be lieve in that 'sort o' thing, there'i them here that.ilo,' with a glance-_at the men for'ard. 'Ay, sir, there be,' said .Dick San dys, ari uld iseanian who had been standing by all 'the while helping to haul up the boat by the davitline, and keeping, as I had ollserved, a sidelong eye on the basket. 'There's them aboard this here Searnew,and I don't say as what I ain't one on - 'em myself, as straight soft'. begin to think the rare luck of this here pres ent v'yage is. gone. But they'll-dread worser luck, - sir, if 'ye throw over .board a brinded cat as has been car ried aboard across water.' 'ls that:so?' asked Jack. . 'Yes,' said I,in a low voice. 'l've Beard that bef4e. But," said I aloud, and lool•:iug at DiCk, and trying to work oil', my :uneasiness a-joke, •hdw can you liave a "sea" or any other "mew" %\!ithout a 'eat ?' `This cat,' said 'scarcely looks . as if she would mew: again. Just look at her--skiri and bone.'., My little Maggie had waked 'her up with stroking, and the wretched creature tried to stand and to walk, rubbing against Maggie's leg. But she fell over amin and' again. Jack caught the animal up, and sniffed her breath, 'while she gave him an avert €(.l look, which to me seemed almost human.' _‘S . 'elp me!' cried Jack. they haven't made - her drunk, so that she ghoul() come here - quiet!- Did ye ever . see a cat like her ?' When Maggie carries/ the eat' into the cabin, I tramped up and down the deck, more uneasy thand Cared to let,myself. know.: It was not (as Ltold Jack) that I was a believer in the superstitions - about, cats which many - sailors' still encourage, but be ehuse I knew what despprate work-it would be, if anything should htippen, to keep in hand a crew that had giy: en themselveS up. It wast,g,etting on_ in the afternoon,, and 1 wI still tramping to and fro, when that Cat rushed on deck, with Maggie after It jumped up on the bulworks, and, looking and pok ing its noseover the water, meawed. It leaped back to the (leak, and ran along toward the fo'c'sle and round' the caboose, And stopped.and mchwed, again. It -ran back towardand: looked round and mmisved a third, tune; and its mewing wasloud and distressfril, as if it wanted to be let out or let in. Mahic followed, call ing 'Puss, puss ! poor pussy !' And -there was I; andack, and farther off all the crew looking on and wonder jrlef at the creature's movements and 'cries: .There were peculiar one:sided 'glances 'and - head shakes, I shw,.6x plianged by the men. To diseottra,ge any-notion there might: he that I also I felt concerned,. 1 turned to bp and down - as Wore, having first lit' my pipe:. What did that•cat do but ' trot-off .at_ ny heels; looking up and 'ineawing with a kind. of bitter greed iness, as if-I were the cat's-meat man!' `Catcji• it, Maggie,' said, 'and m nivsomethingSomethin to eat.' • • I'Ve given. it something,_ father,' said Maggie, 'and it won't eat it.. But maybe it will now ;' and she. managed to seize and entry it off. Now, standing .still, I noticed that the smoke of my pipe, instead of be ing blown away, was curling slowly about my head, rising a little and forming. a bit of clond_and then melt ing, away straight np. I did not like these: signs. ThLapsfas a change working -Itznind tn the weather ; of = ' Ed TOWANDA, BRADFORD 0011M4, PA., THURSDAY MORNING, AUGUST 4, 1881. which, let me tell you, the glass had given no warning. We hadi been having a clear sky and a freskbreeze the breeze fell slack, our sails flapped, and 'bilged,' like as- if in disgust, and the most curious dimness - and thickness came down around the ship. lam too old a sailor to make a note of every odd change in the look of the sea or sky, but that was the oddest change I ever saw in mid-ocean. I have read a d al of poetry at sea, and I used to write home pieces - to nee's moth er, when she wasalive, God bless her! and so . I have' always by me a sort of taste and eye for what you would call 'poetic effects.' Well, the effect that day as the nor'west breeze fell dead, . and the sun began to go down, I shall never forget. It became very cold, and a mysterious-looking haze :gathered about the ship in a eircli that got always narrower and narrower, till we bad not a hundred feet of clear - view all round. The sea lost its briskness and ripple •, it took on a dull, steely, oily look, and glided and slid about, as if it were the back of a monstrous snake. We 'seemed at the bottom of a pit. of darkness and deviltry; • and the bottom we rested on was the fathomless Atlan tic ! All around us the encroaching haze, and rising behind and above it a dense, dark" wall of cloud, touched, in the weit, atits lofty broken edges with the dim glory of the setting sun, and showing a little space of pale, pure blue above, and in the east and south appearing like an inaccessible gray cliff. From the depths of this cliff seemed to come by and by faint labored sighs, which gradually be came wilder and prolonged them: selves Into wails of distress and pairi. We shortened sail at once down to the lowertop-sails. Between 9 and 10 I tucked'uiy lit tle Maggie safe into her berth, and turned in myself, though I knew it .would be only for a little while. Tbat cat I did not see anywhere about. I was waked suddenly by my head being bumped against the side-of my berth. There was a loud report, like the going off of twenty muskets ; I felt a sudden spasm as of choking; I caught at my berth and sprang to my feet. You have never been in a hurricane, I dare say ? when it first swoops down, it seems to shut you and the ship up:with too much breath. In another minute I was on deck ; the report had been the noise of a sheet blown.. to . pieces. Jack was roaring ,through the trumpet, the men were shortening sail—you,could just hear the sharp creak of ropes and pulleys through the wind—and that wretched cat was hid somewhere about, meawing - its very worst'. _lt was two in the morning; hurricane from the northeast with bitter rain, and we lay-to with the lee clew of the tower maintop -sail. All on till dawn and through the day it blew and shrieked its loudest. Two men were at the wheel to keep her head up, but I knew that for all that we were driving rapidly back on dur track. The drift in the air was so dense that we could not see-five yards beyond theship; and by 5 o'clock it was dark. About 6 o'clock a great' sea -struck our bows,= carried away our head, and let a rush Of water like a mill-race over our decks. We re coiled a great distance, and settled lie wily in the trough of the sea. But we rose again with a shudder. On the second day; after daylight, the hurricane abated, though it stilb blew a stiff gale. But we were able to :slacken something _of the grim tenacity of our vigilance, and to look at each other . again. I liked not the looks I met. We had passed with comparatively little damage through a terrible danger; and that would have been enough, you would, -have' thought, to lead the sailors ,to think that both , weather and ship were un der altogether different and better guidance than the witchery of a tab by cat; Yet they looked sullen and' luipeless, and I could see from the w4y they eyed the creature, and drew ofF.ffrom it and its dirimal. mewings, that they were still:bound by a dread of what it, might bring upon them. I inuilt confess that I myself disliked the '.cat, though it seemed moved to Wander up and down the deck 'and intotheoabin, and to lameat as it did More by some kind of distress than from spite. - Maggie wis the only one who took any notice of it; And she fed it and followed it about with an unwearied devotion to which the creature did not at all respond. Next day, though the gale contin ued- to abate, our 'Plight was little improved.. -The Seamew carried her- , self heavily, , though we could not discover she was making water. The wind was still northeast, against which she not only made no head, but kept losing way. I was, there -fore, not surprised when Jack came to me in the cabin and said : 'There's somoth in g , going on for'ard ' 7 —no end o' talk and tobacco-juice.' 1. We went on deck. 1-= 'Look at them,' continued Jack, 'there by the chains. See how they 'shove their shoulders into each other. When a . sailor does that, and. pulls his own ear as Dick Sarklys is doing, there's soniething up And they half look this way. Ah,"here they come.' There were three of them, headed by Dick Sandys, shyly shouldering their way aft. Dick • came .pretty straight, pulling at his ear, with . his eyes eatit. down, but with his round, ruddy face..shining-steudily..forwarC his comrades lurched about, looking from 'side to side, and touching things as they passed. 'Well, Dick,' mid ',Olt want to speak to me t ' suppose, you and your mates?' 'Ay, ay, air; if you will kindly give us a word. Me and them, jerking his thumb over his shoulder —'come as as ileppytation from the fo'c'sle. We ain't got no notion . o' dictating to the capting, but we want to put ye in possession, sir, of what we're a-thinking about. Eh, mates?' - 'Ay, ay.' 'We see how it's a-going to be : This here v'yage 'll never come to no good end. The Seamew 'll'never agin get into no harbor ; and some day one of , them big steamers 'll run across her all a•rotting, wi' not a sign -,..( .. --. a. ( . , "7 - - • . ••..., . • . . . ~;~=c7.~;1i)A, Is)~i~):~;t~l;t~~/.VV(~);i ;7~)'~•~;~'~~a~l•~ ~~i v:~t~ ME o' life aboard but a cursed striped cat In the rigging. It's bound to live somehow;—eh, mates? Well, sir, we ain't a-blamin' nobody. It's our luck; and the damned trick o' that Lily. That's bound to be our luck wi' that there cat aboard , ; but it's not to be expected as how we'll take it meek and mild. Well, ye see, sir, they say worser luck- if ye throw her over board." Jest- so. But this is what we were a-thinking : Suppose we set her adrift in anold tab.' • This dark suggestion he conveyed in a low voice, with his hand to the side of his mouth, after a glance round to make - sure the cat was not within hearing. Then he looked at me With a steady wistful eye ; his mates fidgeted'afid looked over the ship's sides, as though they felt half , ashamed of the plot to Which they had given their adherence. I considea_moment. I had, of ecurse, no real belief that getting rid . of the cat thus would givwus a fair wind ; yet still it was worth trying ; it involved'only the sacrifice of the cat; and if it did not change the wind, it would at least change the looks of my. crew. But what would little Maggie say ?, However, I turned at once to Dick. • 'You can try it,' said I. give you full leave—though, mark you,l don't believe in the nonsense. B ut get bold of it without my little girl seeing you.' , , ay, sir.' Ah, it was - a bad night. The wind whistled*ropes and cords, and spars and rigging creaked wearily. The broken Water every now and then came awash on our bulwarks,' and swirling and hissing over ns. Ah, my hearties, believe me it's. better ashore than at sea! Thereat was got and put into the tub, and over she went into the darkness and the rush and hiss of the mighty waters with a dreadful meaw, that in..de 'our flesh creep. I was glad I did not seelhe men's faces. I felt—l don't know what. Then I went aft a step or two till I was close to ,the wheel an a looking astern.:l had;stood maybe a minute or more, wheni=lo and behold I I saw just where the,glimmer of the binna cle light fell on the bulwarks, the head and the staring eyes of the cat! I dashed forward just on the impulse. It :was clambering on , Ward again. . 'Down, you 'brute I' I cried, push ing at - it. God, ! how it clawed into the wood! 'Down, you wretch ! - you devil l' .It maimed terribly and held on with every claw;but—yes, yes with furious, half-terrified hands—l tore itaway and flung it out. I had "not 'noticed 'that the men had come about me.. 'Ah ! save and deliver us, sir 1' said Dick at' my elboTir. 'You've done for uSI now ! • Lord knows what'll happen P •In . the fee'ble light I saw his and his coinpanions' faces staring on me with a ghastly terror. I felt now like a fool _and a criminal. Dick had barely done speaking, and I had just turned:around, when a little white figure appeared. It was my little Maggie.. 'Father "she whispered, 'where are you ? I heard my pussy meaw and I can't find her. Where is she ? Have you seen my pussy, father ?' `Your father has throws her into the sea, missy,' said onrof the: men. 'And what'll come o't, God knows.' • How exasperated I was with that man ! 'You'd better go for'd, you men,' was all-I said, however. But, before any of us had time to stir,--the crest of a wave, like a great *bite flying mane; flung 'itself over and drenched us. I caught Maggie in' my arms aldripping, and carried her below. She Said nothing, but looked at- me in a way that, cut me to the heart ; - her gaze was frightened and half turned away. •Irhad - no word to say for myself. tchanged her,night= gown and - put her . hack in her berth. She - -shivered and • snuggled down with her bead under the bed-clothes. Atter a little she peeped out and said to me : 'When. you are some day angry with me, will yo - o - maybe throw me into the sea I could not bear it. , oq, Maggie, My child, my darling l' I cried, taking hersin mfarms ; '4lOO talk and look like that.: The cat - was a' bad cat, and brought us ill-luck and bad weather.' . . `I thought,' said Maggie simply, 'it was God that made the weather. I was silent. After a pause she cried: want my pussy back, father. Get -me it back. It was not bad, and I liked it'' wish, my dear,' I said, could bring you it back.' Wag it . a meaty I. heard, and a scratching, or was it only the wind above,: and the dash of the water at the port-hole? Maggie had heard it, too; She sat up, and her eyes were fixed on the port-hole: With some difficulty .1 'pulled it open,. and in scrambled the cat! . I was never more delighted by the sight of any living thing than 1 was by the return of that poor, half drowned cat Such a weight of guilt. was lifted off' l me ! I felt almost like a little boy-again, there, with my lit tle girl beside me. The to do Mag gie and I made 'over the poor, out raged creature! I confess to you . truly ; the. team came to my eyes. Maggie kissed it and cuddled it, all wet and shivering . as it was, the braveqittle swimmer I I went to the cook and got some hot mess.for it to eat, and prepared a snug little bed before the cabin stove, and poor grateful pussy licked_my hand: 'Captain!' ; Captain!' I. heard eag irly whispered from the top of the cabin' steps: - I should have been on deck, and I was turning to go 'after - a glance at , Maggie, with a ghawl aboutber sitting down by her recov ered pussy—when the cook stumbled hurriedly down into the.esliin, whis pering in terror, 'They've got at the spirits, captain, and they're. mad ! They've knocked Dick down for standing up for you, and they're sure, as you threw the cat overboard, the NM only. may to save We ship is to throw you after it! They're coming l' And before another word could be said, or anything do*: they were come. suppose they at once sus , pected the cook of being informer; in a moment .he was gagged and bound. I stood before them with what calmness I had; though I felt my cheek pale and my blood tingle to see all he desperate crew crowded in before" e. They were not drunk; they were only primed to'the Dutch courage point : their faces were bloodshot and resolute. 'What is the meaning of this, my men?' I asked firmly. 'Mutiny?' °. At the'dreaded word they quailed a little . ; but Bill Bowser—he who had told Maggie I had drowned the, cat, and-who seemed the ringleader —made - a step forward and said (he was an ugly slab of a Man, with something like a squint, but he could speak to'the point): -! • 'No mutiny, captain, only self -preservation, the first law o' nature. That darned cat has been thrown overboard, and to save the ship and all the rest on as you must follow it, captain, 'cause you done it.' I was about to - speak, when Mag gie, who looked very much surprised, but not in the least frightened, said (standing up in her sweet childish beauty, with the shawl. slipping from her shoulders),,: 'Look, pussy was in the-'sea, but she's come, back again ;' and She showed them the cat in her arms. They 'were .dumhfoundered, and smitten with confusion. They stared at me, and at Maggie and the cat, and they shouldered toward the stair. Bill Bowser again made himself spokesman, 'l'm blest,' said he, 'but that cat has the devil in her. as sure as David ! But lot& a-here, captain, we must just-set her adrift again, and tie her in this time.' 'Now,' said I, 'I won't allow a hair of that cat to be touched again„ And I advise all you men to clear out of this at once, or I shall take note of it and reckon it an attempt at mutiny.' I spoke in a loud, commanding time, to rouse Jack; who was in his berth close by. 'Oh, you will, will you ?' said Bow ser, Low snarling out the rebelious spirit natural to him; awl • sugges tively lowering his head and drawing up his sleeve from his right wrist; felt sure he had his knife lhandy. . 'lf it's to be reckoned mutiny, it may as well be made worth the reckoning. Down with him,,mate's !' • I caught the gleam of the knife ; I had no weapon ;..I„threw my cap in his face, and next instant floored him with my fist. At this juncture, as in answer• to little Maggie's cry, out burst Jack, half-dressed, 'revolver in hand. 'Hallos! Eh ? What's this ?' he cried. • took the revolver from his liand ,and pointed it among the. men, i'ho looked some sulkyoome bewilderei, but none inclined to follow Bowser's initiative: 'Now,' said I, give you another chance. 'Be off at Stnce to the fo'c'sle, or —' I clicked thg ,rigger of the re volver. - ay, emptainilirthey murmured, and tumbled up to the deck as fast as they could. 'We:didn't mean no harm, sir; pleaded • Jhose who were nearest me, and who were forced to linger. No,. the lubbers ! .no harm ! ,But if Bill Bowser had struck ine down with his knife, they would not have moved a finger or a tongue to save me, or to 'keep themselves ; fr . pm the crimes of , mutiny and murdee r on the high seas. Yes ; that's whs.% your merchant-Seamen have come to, now adays I As for Bill Bowser,he was of course put inAronS. - . Now, sooniafter daylight; with a nasty sea still running and the wind in the southeast,. the man .at the look-outsighted.a bark with signals 'of distress tlymg. She was, about. two miles 'off . our larboard quarter. By-and-by we . signalled what was. the matter. ' Leaking,' was the answer ; '-all hands at the pimps.' Then he •set the 'ship's letters, and we made Out the:name—;-what do- . .you think ? —the Lily! Could it be the same Lily the' Lily of Plymouth=as we had passed on . our other quarter nearly a week ago? It might be ; for; ye see,. these, these hurricanes often, maybe always,twork in a cir cle. Cy.clone,Wye say ? Al, yes; that's what we call them when met in the tropics. Well, we bore _down on each other, and I took the oppor tunity of having a word or two with my men, to set myself - right- with _them, and to make them, it' I could, throw off that superstition ,'about the eat. I called them aft. Now,'-said I, you needn'Tt' look frightened; rm not going`•to- say anything .about last night's affair. I agree to call it all a mistake, if you give up your foolish, old wives' no- tion about my cat here. • I say my cat, because I am determined to take it home with me, and :leave it with My little girl here. , icoii,.look at it; hasn't it the nicest little face a cat ever tiad ? How, can ye believe there is a dtv in the creature?' • "l he devil,'says one, often hangs out the prettiest figureheads, sir.' . Well,' said I, .‘ that's true. :13ut now,- you're sailors ; you can't refuse shelter, and you can't surely think ill Of a poor dumb creature that was twice thrown into the sea, and twice Came back to the old ship, and that after all licked the hand that threw her out--ay,-and—look ye !-IVks it now.' • •• - • Hooray for the Captain !' . . But, my. hearties,' said 1, 'there's another. thing. And this was my strong point. ' You see -that bark ,out there ? She's called . the Lily, -and I. believe she's the' same as smug gled this cat aboard - Ot us. Now,, has she gained anything by losing the cat When she's been caught in the same hurricane as we have, and she's come worse out of it ; she's driven 'far from her course, and she's leak ing dangerously. They. turned and looked at each other and .nodded; they. evidently thought-there was something in it. We keep . the -,cat, then,' said 1, ... . ~ - •. , . i' . '- - 1 •' , ••• ~•-) , ' . 1 . - . . 1 il ~. Li I , .t ~.,.. .• L 1 t i_.. _ 1...- • . - • I: Z 1, ,,,. . ~.-. . --. . ~ . • , :• * C . - -C . . ,1 k ._ whether the Lily would liko it back or no. •la that agremll' Ay, ay, sir.' It.was a bad sea, but we lowered a boat as we and the Lily approached ; 1 particularly wanted to go aboard, of her. I got the basket out in which pussy had come to 'us, replaced , her as we had found her, and put the empty champagne bottles on top. The crew of the Lily were drop pini with fatigue when we went aboard, but, Lord! to see how the skipper and them about him woke up when they saw us. Astonishment is no word for it. Good God l', he exclaimed. '.And you are the Seamew !' . And you are the Lily,' said I. That was a nice present you sent me. I have brought back the bottles and the basket ; and so saying, I un - - covered pussy, Who, to my amaze jumped out at once and bound ed off. I _had only intended to show the skipper , slie was there. The . poor maiVstared-his , jaw droppeil, and he sank downita , a coil of rope, with his head in‘ his handic , littering it long, hopeless grc. - _ • Come, my f ind,' cheer up,' I said. We'Ve almost nothing' -to eat,' Said he.; 'we've been at the pumps two"days, and now that brute has come baciil There's no 'use stand.: ing by them any more; our voyage comes to an end here, and down, down we go. We might a's well have kept the beast; the old wretch's words have come true, and we finish in the middle, as she said.' I doubted his mind was wander ing. Come,': said I, 'bestir your self and :give . orders. There's no use staying by . the ship any longer; you.must abandon her tlnd come with me.' What I Leave the Lily ? She's a good old ship, and she's any own ; no, I'll go down with her and that cursed cat. Take Off the crew, however, and thank you.' I couldn't make up my mind to think him deranged, and yet Just then the eat came libtinding along the deck with something in her mouth, and. all the hands paused and stared. She put it in the basket at my feet where she herself had lain, and again bounded away. It was a kitten ! and alive ! The: skipper star ed stupidly: Presently pussyyeturn ed with another. That's.what's done it cried the skipper with.gathering fury ; got rid of her, they were here, and I never kneir it 1' lie rose in his rage, and, seizing a crowbar, would have smashed and . all, but he . was easily restrained and disarmed. . ‘ - Letime have them, said I ; -‘ my the girl will like them: • What !' he . cried in something like.an. ecstasy of gladness. And you will take the mother, tool' Then, becoming_irgaiii despondent, but it's of noise now, I feel we are going down.' Pussy had-returned with her third kitten which was dead, and hair be gun to' puiT with delight and to rub herself found my leg, when he rous ed., raiself and ordered all hands to take to- the boats. We stood• by them - iii ----- ourpwn -boat (with pussy and her brood in the basket oii the stern-Seat),,lwaiting to give them a tow : line to 'our ship When all the hands were in the boats, there. was a pause: Was not the skipper com ing ? Cast off.' The Lily was settlin„cr4own rapidly, and the crew east-off With little concern. The skipper's last act was to launch with a curse ti 'bfb - ken pUlley-block at the basket in our stern,:as we rowed off. It just Missed the boat, and slashed into the' sea. The - ,Lily • went doXii before we reached the Seamew.. ' Nest day; we had "afair wind i and our crowded - ship crowded all ' sail and went merrily racing, dipping and splashing for home. In our new, bright hopes of our voyage we all, I? think,' felt . rather ashamed of our dreadful. suspicioni of pussy. At any rate, everyone' showed the ut most tenderness and solicitude for her and her two kittens. How had, the kittens been; kept• alive on-the : Lily all thatweek? you ask. I don't know ; but I have heard of a rat playing the part of mother under. Similar circumstances, and I am certain • there w're rats in the . . De Lake Sho' train aut. de one we is lookin' fur, boss, kase I'se go ing to Send-de ole woman to Toledo. Poo'•Ole soul! she's been eryin' - all de mawnin'_ kase she's g7ine away from me, an' to tell de Ara, I can't keel) de tear outer my own eyes long 'null' to see 'cross de depot.!- It was an old, old, - colcred man, stoop-shouldered, trembling with old age. He was accompanied by his aged wife, who had on her Sunday best -and carried a bundle in her hand: She was wiping her eyes Oh a handkerchief.• 1 ‘ Is-your wife going away on a visit ?" " llress you. no S :We wouldn't be feelin' if it war only a wisit. You see, salt, we's got so ole an' poo' dat Re can't keep house, nor. tiirn any filo'. • We's felt it comin' on fur a longtime past; but I Heber s'pected de Clay_ would come when we'd have to separate.' - . Then . sbe won't come back?' Dat's.,what ails us. You see, Pze got a son here who will gib me a home, and she's got adarter down in Toledo who will take keen of her. She's gwine,away dis mornin'; an' I neber sot eyes on her no mo'. 'Tain't/fur down dar, but-we's poo' ole, an' I'se gwine ,to kiss her fur de las'-time. Tfolknp your face, Mary, till I kiss ye! You an' me has trabbled in de same path in'.of sixty y'ari, an' now when we am grown ole are poo' an' waitin' fur de call, we has got to separate! Dar, Dar,' chile, don't take on, so! It's sumthin' we can't help, an' if you sob that way you'll brake de ole man right down. Dat's de train Ober dar' ani—ani----- He . put his" arm . . around her, an his tears fell on her cheek as he salt We slabed together, an', an' we ban starved an' shibered an' met trou " Gwine Away." 81.00 per• Annum In Advapee. ble wid de same speerit. —it's all fur' de best! Maybe de Lam' will bring us tokethei agin. If —he doan' dO.it, you'll meet me dar in Ileaben. We kin trust de Lawd fur dat. If I git dar' fust, I'll wait for you right at de gate, an' ,if you am fust taken, I know you'll - watch fur me.' She kissed him and clung -to him like a child; and it was only when the train was ,ready to go that he dis engaged her arms, kissed her once more, and led her to the gate with the words : ' , I'll be - ,Prayia' de Lawd to be good to ye,. an' I'll fink ofl ye ebery hour in-.de day.- Beep down your sobs, chile—we can't be no mo'. Here you' good-bye—good bye.' She went , away sobbing like a child, and he passed out of the depot with tears in his eyes and 'a heart al most breaking with sorrow. 'l.ll trust—l'll trust is ile Lawd,' he whispered, as he went his way. ' Tell ye what, it's powerful on two ole folkses like us to be 'all broke up an' separated, like dis, but we couldn't do better. Bress her dear soul! imt de poo' body was nigh done fur Wia g rief when I turned away de. las' ithe Quad. - - - The Farmer's Hired Man. 'l'm kinder lookin' around the market for *hired man," he-exclaim ed as he stopped at one of the:stands and -nibblcd' at an onion. kinder need one, but yet I kinder hope I Shan't be able to find him: _ `How's that?' --, 'Wall, there ain't—no profit in a hirecLman no more. ' Np, sir, he's no ffood any longer.' P 'What's the reason?' `Oh, a dozen reasons.' ,First and foremost, times have changed,' and the hired man has changed with 'em. Ah ! sir, it make_ S• me sad.,when I think- of the hired men we had before the war—great big fellers, with the strength of an ,ox and the vim of a locomotive. I didn't have to holler my lungs out to get one of 'em out of bed at 3 o'clock in the morning, :md- it was all Lcould.do to coat 'cm to go :to bed at 10 o'clock at night. I'm afraid that we sha'n't, never sec no more •hired men wrath keepin' around for their bohrd ' - "nat's sad.' o - `lt's sad,, and more; too. Now, as I said, I want a hired man. I'm will ing to ..pay $ll or $l2 a month for a smart - one. Some, farmers. want a man 'to work all day and all night, but that ain7t me. I never asked one to get out of .bed before 3.o'clock— neVer. alias give .my man three 7 quarters of an hour , at noon, unless the hogs i l7et out, or cattle break in, or shoWer is coming up. • After a man has Worked right along for nine hours .his system wants at least - half an hour to brace up in. They don't quit work on some farms till S o'clock, but I'm no such slave driver. At half-past 7 I tell my man to knock. off. All he has to dO after that is.to feed the -stock, - cut . a little wood, mow some grass for the horses, milk four cows, fill up the, watering trough, start a smudge . in the smoke house, and pull a few weeds in the garden. 1 never had a'hired man who didn't grow fat on my work, and they antis left me feeling that they hadn't half earned their wages.' He stopped long enough to wipe a tear from his eye, and then went on ,‘And now look at:the hired man of to-day! He wears-white shirts .and' collars. Ile won't eat with a knife. Hd wants napkins when he eats, and if we don't hang up a clean towel once a week he wipes on . his hand kerchief. • Call him at 3 and he gets up,at C. He wants a whole hour at noon, and after supper he starts off to a singing school or sits down to a newspaper. Fifteen years ago if my hired man was sick for half a day I could dock him. If he died I could take out a month's waffes for the trouble. He was glad-A: get, store orders for his pay, and he would gash in the rain barrel and Wipe ,on the clothes line. There's bin a change, sir—an awful change, and if a reaction don't set in pretty soon you will witness the downfall of ag riculture in.this country.' ''Then you Won't hire another ?' I 4 Wall, I can't just say. Work is powerfully. pressing ; but, I'm goin' slow. Before I hire him I want to know whether he's a an who'll pass his plate for more Meat and-taters, and whether we've got to use.starch in-doing up his shirts. The last - man I had took, me to,task for not hold ing family prayerX , twice a day,-and after I had done so fOr three months I found it was only a game of his to beat-meout of half an 'hour a day. He thought he had a pretty soft thing, and he looked mighty lone some when I cut Old Hundred down to two lines and got through with the Lord's Prayer in forty seuoLids." --4.leiruit,Free Press. Seven Babes at a Birth ALMOST INCREDIBLE-STORY FROM TEN- . . A few days since the Louisville Cott rier,lTern al- contained a special 1 from its Nashville. correspondent to tire effect that a woman residing' in Jackson County of that State had (riven birth to seven children: at one time. The correspondent telegraphs that after the first child was born the painsof,labor . Continued.. lAn exam= ination convinced the physician that there were two instead of - one,' and the woman was soon- delivered 'of a second child, both girls. The physi cian gave direction as to the care of both mother and children, and pre .pared to take his leave. Before reach ing his house, .at the gate, he was recalled and delivered the woman of another girl baby. Again the; phy, sician took h leave, and again was re-called, bringing to light another girl baby.' This was „considered re markable, And the physician was. greatly puzzled over .the matter.• He, however, congratulated the huiband on his gooefortune, and departed for home. Ate. had. not gone more than half a - mile - before lie was over-" taken by the excited husband of the woman, who in breathless haste. in formed him that there, was still an: NUMBER 10 `.. ESsEE other child tole bo*: Hastening back, the physician arrived in - time to aid in delivering the woman oilier fifth child. In the course of fifteen or twenty minutes he was again call ed to the bedside of the woman and very soon . the sixth , child was breath ing the breath of life, after which the doctor wheat home. He was- soot again summonedilmounted his horse and returned to the home of Mr._ B. He, was too late, however, to be of any service, as the -seventh child, a girl; was bo rni a few - minutes previ ous to his arrival. The doctor re mained about the premises during the rest,of the day, but his services were not again needed , . Remarkable DlscoverieS. When you want to. go abywhere in this country you simply get on the Pennsylvania . Railroad and go there. There are several other roads in these parts, but as the "Pensy" runs to the came place it amounts to the same Thing. One time the brake man was telling me the Pennsylvan; is railroad company wanted a good site for the location obits great shops. It found the place it wanted on the eastern side of the Allegheny moun tains, on a beautiful plateau: "That was just forty years ago. There were not many people living on that plateau in 1840. • One daring pio neer and his family were monarchs of the unbroken forest that covered it, and three log huts hidden away in the shadowy recesses of that for est, were all the•• indications of chili zation to be fotiiid there The railroad compatiy sent out an 'agent to buy the whole plateau, with written instructions to pay $10,090, if necessary.. The agent came he found -the_ pioneer, he put up at his unpretentious log hut, he told him all the new stories from the city, he wrought him into a_good humor and the settler finally made ready to sell at $5,000 considering himself a made man at that. But while he was talking business, his wife was straightening up the stranger's room. ...She found a package.of papers; - womanly curiosity prompted her to open the unsealed envelope, -and she read the agent's instructions. She called her hus band into the kitchen in a very few minutes and she 'did what nine wo men out of every ten wouht . do for their husbands—she made more mon ey for him than - he ever dreamed he would be . worth; more than he 'ever could hasp made if he hadn't a wife. When the settler returned he - told the agent 'that real estate had pick ed,-up a little during the past ten minutes, and that die couldn't think of taking_ less than $lO,OOO for his claim; There was nothing -- else to be done; swering . wouldn't help the matter. 'The 210,1300 was paid. Four thousand dollars of it belong ed to the woman, -but I never heard whether, she got it or not. Ten years later the Pennsylvania railroad began building its shops on the plateau. and now the city of Altoona has upwards of 20,000 inhabitantS three or four newspapers, seventeen churches as many schools and one convent, the largest - railroad shops in America, and the Logan - house, a hotel the' size of Riiode When was there I slept - in the northeast county of it too -.7 only seventeen miles from the, clerk's Fun,_Fact and Faceiim. " What is love*.' It is a feeling *that _ you don't want any other felloi. •Doing around with her. '• _ - Tue new version substitntes "bowls" of wrath for "vials." —Diem is nothing stingy about the new version. INquirtEn-LNoPattl:s First Epistle tai the Corinthians didn't require more than one three-eent postage stamp. Wily is "o" tie most unfortunate of letters ? Because - it is never in, cash, al ways in debt, and never-out of danger. 6 ` Furrz " EMMETT says he has signed the pledge hundreds of tithes. It's- n o use, however. All signs fail in `dry' weather." - - WitENEVF.II young ladies learn so to stick a pin - in their apron strings that it won't scratch a fellow's Wrist there will . be more marriages. St DA Y evening courting must be hard thing to understand for after years of experience young folks are very much in the dark about it. Wtto ever saw .-a bat rack? An iron fence?, lnk - stand ? A bride elected ? A stove• - polir.li ? A -- horse shoe?- A bill board ? A shoe last 1 1 _ A FRENTIIMAN in business bas-advertis ed that he- has:achasm " for an appren tice.. looked up;the" Word "opening!' in the diationaily.. • • A NEWSPAPER, gushing over a recent painting, says : " In front stands a 'natio maiden wrapped in her own thoughts." The scene is laid in latitude one degree south. • A BACHELOR on reading that "two lov ers will sit up all night with one chair in the room," said it could not - be done un leis one of them sat on the tloor. Such ignorance is painful. • • "AMANTHA,"I3e murmured, with a pa thos in his voice, ",why do you quiver at my touch`? Why do you shrink from my embrace as the startled fawn trembles at the rustlings of . the - autumn . . leaves:" "I've been vaccinated," she said." Somi: fellow has discovered that there are 83,324 ways of spelling scissors. If he had been Correcting manuscript for a newspaper he would have disfo'vered that there are about 9t 9,909 of spelling every word in the English language. BRIT HARTEN :tirf,t poetic "fragment" commenced in these words—" I sipped the nectar from her lips • I sipped and ho. vered o'er her." And the last -two lines were as follows-." lier father's hoof dashed on the scene. I. am wiser how, and sorer." ScENs. - - hotel reading -loom. Gentle man : "I heg your pardon, but where in hell have I'seen you before, sir?" Gen tleman (looking up from paper): "I am Sure I can't tell. What part of hell are you from, sir?" AN old bachelor was courting a widow, and both had sought the aid of art to give their fading hair a darker shade. "That's going to,be an affectionate couple," said a wag. " How so?" "They- are dying for each NEI nuoa's pretty daughter—" How much is this a yard:" I)raper's son (des perate "s).oons" on her)—"Only ono kiss." If it's so cheap I will take three yards, and grandma will pay you." IN the - cotrgregations of every day life the sat:rig-successes arc often made and in the-sainc:way. -Schoolmistress What is the dative:of donum ? What ? ; Next Next Mince " Schoolmis tressl4" Correct. Go to the head." "I na, • believc, Mr. Heffe sal& wife," -- "ttit you mean .to kill the with your everlasting• conundrums. Why is a • feline sitting up straight like Niagar.i,?( You knew I couldn't guess it." • " Well,: I will tell you," rejoined Heffelspin ; "be cause it is a cat erect." Mrs. Iletrelspitr pulled down—her spectacles and started for the broom, but lleffelspin had busi ness down town just then. " How could you think of calling amil tie stupid ? Go to her immediately and tell her you at sorry." Freddy- goes to auntie and says,: "Auntie; I am sorry you are so stupid.' SHE was a Boston girl.- She was 'visit-, ing her Whitehall cousins. While walk ing out,...severai butterflies passed her: " 011 i —dear me, - what charming little birds. They are perfectly exquisite." "They are not birds, my dear." replied her country cousin, " they are butter flies." ." Oh you - don't say so. Then these are theTilTntr - little creatures that fly from dower "to flower and- gather the sweet yellow' butter that we ueei! They are too lovely•for anything."