Bradford reporter. (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, November 25, 1880, Image 1

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- The Bss.brosb all'olllTll2 e jebliebet Noy
Chartlay morning by • 0001inic1 11111011:10CL;
Ode Dollar per 61101161, in admit% • _
feipS..irertisityi in a ll eases sedative in
.scrt?tion to the paper. •
8.. Eel AL N OT IC ES Inserted OSIPIS per
•Itue fur lirst Insertion. sud rays Farms pothunter
asch subsequent tnaertlon.)nal neosonies WOW
tot I,lss than fifty cents.
V EARL k" it/ E ESIENTS bil Insert-
At reasphable rates.
l'alutstracarts and gieentOi s it-LNOtAllef,
I,tor'sNotlces,s:.llo: BustneuCarilailvellnes.
41v r voar)ilS, additional Uncap each: 3_
c.irly olvertiseni are entitled to gluirterly
ch fitig es. Transient advertisements most be pad
:Or in adeanes.
A: - resolutions of *lllloChititinSt COntlidatddliddant
of :tutted or individual interest, and no•lees of
riarls or deaths, exesedinglivelineasni Starr.
c.l r r cisre per line, lot shaptenetiessof Mar.
and de .tbs will be piblisbedwilhonteharge.
qc it Et ro wean baying a larger eiretilatlpn than
.tiy titer p.iiier in the county, makes It the heel
t•tr,rtlsing medium in Northern Pennsylvania.
.1 .11 PRINTING-of every kind. in plain and
furl colors. done with neatness sad illspateh.)
Rs..,ibtils, Blanks, Cards, Pamphlets. Billheede„ l
itst •ments, kn., of every variety and style. printed
at the shortest notice. The RIIPOILTILR °Mee Is
welt kupplied mith power presses, i - good assort.
meat of new type. and everything In the printing
..lino can be executed In the moot artistic manner
an 1 . at the lowest rates. T ERNS INVARIABLY
Office—Rooms formerly occupied by Y. M. O. A.
Reding Room. ` I
Lessons given in Thorough Bass a , .d Harmony,
Cultivation of th,. volcCa specialty. Located at 1 4 ,
liio"ock•s, Pine St. Reference : Itolmes * Passage,
Tiwanda, Pa., March 4, 1880.
Oli'a over KlrbVi Drug Sore
'race with Patrick and Foyle. 5ep.25,-;9
• •
T6WANI ) A. A.
TOWAN DA, PA., . •
Soileltor of Patentg. ra'rticnlar attentip paid
to lot.inesa in the Orphans court and to the settle•
tsiens of estate& • - '
°Mee in Montanses Mock
. ,
. .
• -7 1
Jiidge Jessup having resumed the practice of thet
Mar :tI Northern Pennsylvania. wlll-att,c,pd to awl, -
4eFcal Itusittess intrusted totals) In IFtradforitOunt7:"
Persons. wishing to consult him. can call on H.
Streeter, Esq., Towanda, Pa.. when an appointment:
can male.
Feb 27, '79
E. L. Hams,
ATT EY-AT-L yff,
Agency for.thc. sale nisi purchase of all 'kinds of
Securities and fur salt_
loans en !teal Estate.
All Z,itsiness will rec e ive careful and prompt
f.Tuue 4. WM.
11 6 kT LAW, WTALCSING, PA. Will attend
to ali 1,U4111135S entrusted to his care In Bradford,
Au and Wyoming Counties. °Mee with Elul.
Port •r. Cn0v1944.
Mee .with G. F. Ma.4m, over Patch & Ttacr
Bi.till ,treat, Timanda. Pa. 4.15.5 u.
Door south of First National
August 12. IsSO.
. TOW 0; PA, PA.
1 ClefA
Diet Airy Brad. Co:
y RF.
Having nee..pted the agency of the • •,
(Assetts over 513,000.000 00 1•
:km pn rated to write twOlele. et current rtes,,
M. D. SWARTM,Agen% -
iffit . C. with Wm. -. - V inc e nt. TowoieLi.Pa.
` \ f_t_ , llN W. MIX, •
tr .:e—)l on h Side Public Square.
Jan. 1,1875,
i.. 71, •
:.81^e—South side. Poplar street, opposite Ward
N0v.13, 18:9.
23-7 S. • To*ANDA.
(I,+.u•e—Means Block, Main•at., over .1. L:XCllt s ii
store,lrowanda. May be consulted In German.
C A prlll2, '76.).
A 1 7 .3 . YOUNG ,
•. . ,
. . • . • TOWANI)A. l'A. .
ilii ,—qe , rond door south of the rind ; Nat'nttal
Bank MAW St.. up ntAlfs.
Ce over Dayton's Store.
A. U 11, 1876
P iauo au4 tSurtremt. l OITcS at tutrittettce,
Ittst, street, East of Math.
j l• I
"1't3.,, a. Slay 1, 1s7:: ly•
VIT' B. KELLY,Mr.STIsT.—riflee,
y • over M. E. iiosenilehrs, Towanda, Pk. r
T—th inserted on Gold,_Sllver, itubher. and Ail
n.,l:un base. Teeth extracted without I.aln. .
Orr. 34-72. . ,
117 D . PAY NE, M. D.,
4a ritICSIOAN AND 5t71t61:011,,
OM,: over Motitanyelo Store., (Mice hours from 10
to 12 A. N,, and from 2 to 4 P. A.
• Special attention given to
ur and •or
G. W. RYAN ,
MeA day last Saturday of each mob'. n, over Turner
- k Gordon's Drug Store, Tomianda, l'a.,
Towanda, Jane O. 1878.
tr qt. ,_ Ftlak. ()lila unusual facilities for the trans
action of a general banking business.
JO4. POW ELT, President
• T KRII.S.-41 . 0 per term. ••
(itesidenee Third street, Ist ward.)
Towanda, Jan. 1Z,`79-Ip.
.1' 1 ET YOUR
JQ-4.4) -1 ?f-ArrflYa
?Ph V•1 1 1' f t
.iMc „t ,
_F - _ -
ill state of Penusylvasia, County of Bradford
as: To harsh Ann Lawrence, Joseph P. Wheatnn,
Cirtas 0. Wheaton. Phnily F. Blbley. Charlotte M.
ItOgers, Henry W. Wheaton, Melissa Ann M.
Bogers—plire take notice: I
Whereas.. at en Orphanst„Court. he:d at Towanda
In and for said County of Bradford, on the 17th
dot of April. A. D. 1880. before the Hon. F. D.
Morrow, President. Judge - of said Court, In tt 's
matter of _the estate of John Wheaton, deceased,
the petition. of Melissa Ann M. Bogert., Wife of
James Rogers and daughter of John Wheaton, late
of the town - shiwof Warren, In said Count , de
ceased. was resented , setting forth that th said
John Wheaton died March Yd. 1839. Int tate,
seized in Ids demesne as of fee of and in acertain
niessuage and tract of land situate In said township
of Warren. bounded north by hands of George
:rendleion and Benedict Arnold. east, by lands of
Benjamin Buffington, and sod:Wand west by lands
of Simnel W hettion'; containing about 1013 acren,—
and leaving to NUITIVO him a widow, • Sall, Whea
ton, and . eight children. -Sarah Ann -Lawrence,
Joseph P. Wheaton, Cyrus G. Wheaton. Froderlek•
T. Wheaton educe deceased). Emily F. SibleY.
Charlotte 111. Rogers, Henry W. Wheaton and Me
ibut ItogerB ; that the widow, Sally Whew.
tom died March 12th:1860 that the said Fr derirk
F. Wh• aton died September 17th. 1853, leaving to
survive hinge widow, Sussu - Wheattai (since mar
ried . to Major Darling), and one,son, .Seymour
Wheaton ; that no guardians wer appointed for
any of the minor children of wild John WNeaton.
deceased: that under and by vlrt ne of the Intestate
laws or this conanntmealth. it belongs to the said
Melissa Ann M. It^eers' to have an equal one4lghth
part of said real estalt: No partition of said real
elate having been' the petitioner Frays the
Court- to award an inquest. to make par M O it the.
.said-real es ate to and among the aforesaid parties
according to their respective rights, and she will'
every prey, etc. Whereupon the paid Conri4traut
a rule on •the heirs and legal representatives of
said decedent to show cause why partition of the
1 above descrited real estate shalt not be tuadef And
now to wit., Tolayath. Me, the Court continue this
rule nutit - Septeinher Term next.
Aid now to wit, fieptember '22d, 1880, rolemade
absolute, and the said Court. on doe mot anfreon
4,tletation of the premises, awarded an Inge et to
lit-tke 'partition as prayed for: We therefore,eorn•
titled you that. liking with yen seven gla•4l' and
law( I mei) of your t alltwtek. you go to and upon
th_ promises aforesaid, anti there, In the presence
of alt pa tits aforesaid by you' to tie warned (if up
fi betog earned they will be. present), anti having
respect,te the title valuation then-of, and 'upon the
Baths and athrtuaflons of the said, szven pad and
lawful men. you bake parrltiou to and among the
heirs and legal representatives of the Said intestate
In such manner awl in such proportions as by the
, laws of this Commonwealth Is directed
,If the same '
can be so parted and divided without prejudice to'
'or spoiling the wh.-le; and. if such partition cannot
Le n-atie thereof without prejudice to or spoiling
• the whole, that. then you C 3.18.1 th said Inquest to
loqiiire and 'ascertain whether the sante will etM
veniently accommodate more than one of the said
heirs and legal representatives of the said intestate
without pr Judice to or sphillug the whole;' and if
se. how meths ft stilt tt,s aforesaid accommodate.'
describing each part ly• metes and hounds, and IT
turillitg a just valuation of the same. lint if: the
said iliquest by you totie summoned as aforesaid
to make the said partition or valuation shall be of
opinion that the premises aforesaid, with the ap
purtenances, can not 'lie so parted and divided
as to accomniodate more than one of the said heirs
and legal representativesof the said Intestate, that
then pet cause the inquest to value the, whole of
the said real eatatte; V. lib he appurtenances. bay
in;; resp ct to the true valuation th reed agreeably'
to taw; and that the partition or valuation so niaite
yon distinctly . and up lily have before our. said
Judge at Towanda. at an Orphans' Conrtr hpre to
be held on the regular Gay of session's thereof. atter
such Inquest shall be made heder your hand and
seal.- and: under the hands and seals of those by
whosii tsrths or affirmation , you shat) make such
• peril! 10n,4 valuatien, and have you then and -there
N,,N. BETTS, Cashier
Artl 1.187.9
. . .
CV it : Morrow. President Judge or our
said Court at Towanda iforesahl. the 7th (lay or
Aprll. A.lll. 1850, C. FRISME.
Clerk. of Oritha4' Court.
in conformity With the above'order, I hereby
give notice to the above named heirs and.all fiber
persons interested, that an Inquest will be held on
the estate. on the, premises, on Fit I DAY.
the :STD .14y of NOVE.IIII - Eit, A'. 11.'isSO. at 2
PET VD J. DEAN. Sheriff.
TowOntia. ffetober 1.4, 18,40. -
Letters of admin'stratinn having laepti grant
ed to the undersigned. utsin the estate of Chas; B.
Nestor. late pi .Irmieltrora township, deceased.
notice is heichy given that all venoms in-dewed to
the said esiate are min: sled to , make immediate
payment, and all pers 1124 having claims against
!dud estate must present thr same duly antlienti•
cited to the undersign 'd for settlement.
AI. YI S' C. 1) I.:X T KR, Administrator..
Tuscarora. Pa.. Oct•
. , .
—Letters of administrition having heel,
granted to the undersigned, upon the estate of
t.. M. Honda. late of Iterptigton, deeea-ed,
notice is hereby•given that allrrsons Indebted to
Mild e.eate are requested to, ma - e immediate pay
no io, itiel all persons hming legal claims against
the sane- will- present them sKithout delay In pro
fer o der for settlement to -
- D. M. ll UN 0F.1.L, Administrator.
Luthers Mills, Oct. 2S, 18.80-wll. .
Fl •
..4 tars testamentary having been granted to the
undersigned. under .the twit villl and testutniAt of
James'U; 1..dg...y.1ate. of Fray klin , wp.. deceased.
alt persons,Milented to the kitale of said decedent
, are hereby notified to make immediate payment.
and all baton claims against. said estate must pre
sent the same duly nuihent eated to the under
,Agned for i.ettlenient.
Monrottion, Oct-2y, 7ti80.,‘ Executor.
matter of the as,lgnment of M. F. itatisoin
for tho benefit-of lilsi..reditors. In the Cowl of
Compton Picas of Bradford Comity,. No. ;t4, May
Perth, 18;7. . , • '
The final account of Li. 11. Vannyke.
t,e ab../ve ea-e, flloa September ^^ Lissn ; awl said
account will be presented to. said
,Court for final
cimilt illation and allowance on Thursday, Decem
bt-r 9 1850, utiloSs cause , o shown why said account
, Imuld not be finally confirmed and allowed by the
-Court., GEORG P. W. BL ACKM ti N.
:Towanda, Oct. 21, iSsO-w4. rrottuiootary.
Munch. In the Court or Coin:
mon l'lras of Itradford county: NO. 5e.9. ,
!,40„ You are hereby notified that tieorge.syour
hushand. haw applied .to the Court of Common
rens of Bradford County for a divorce from the
Maids of matrinmny. and the mad Court has ap
pointed December DiSa, to the Court
floosein Towanda, for hearing the said George. in
the premises. at which time awl place you tray at.
If you think -proper.
4rlw. ' PETER .1. DEAN. Sheriff..
—T. Hezeklah (I:amberlaiM 1 the Court of .
t mmun Pleas of Brad - turd county. N 0.114. May
Term. IMO. You are herelly notified that Estelle
your note:has: oppilcd , to the Court or Common
r vai bt It rlolford Cou.dy for a divot ce" _
from the
'l,..nds of matrimony, and the aold Court hal.. op-
I.uth tett Monday. the fah day of December. it. the
Court llottqe, In Tremolo. for hearitrg the said
Estelle. In :the premises.. at wide!' time and place
you may attend If you thlhg proper.
P-ETEIt .1. DE AW..faherlff.
—To Alliert - Curkmulall. In the Court of
I 'MIIIIIII Pl. at, of Bradford county. No. 9 . 3. He
cmber Term, IMO; You are liefeby notilied that
Eliza, pnir wife,.' has. applied to the C on of
Common Pleas of Bradford County for a divorce
fiutli the bonds of matriinony, and he , si(id Court
has appointed Monday, Deretutirr Mb; lakg, in the
Colic House illk. for hearing the. said
•Eliza, in the premises. which nine and place
y-uluipy attend if yOll think proper.
PETER J. DEAN, She' i rlfr.
1 .
lion. PAUL i). Moimow. Preshimit Judge
, up
t'ie 1311 t .111dIclarilfstrIct, reitisbdieg of the emitity
of ilradf4d, has issued his precept bearing da
the. lath day of September. Rise. tong , dlrimted. icr
leading a court of Oyer and General
Delivery. Quarter flesslen of the Peace. Com
mon Pleas and '.Orphan's Churl at Towanda. for
the enmity of itradfoul, emutnencirg en Sti nday.
PECEMBER ent, ISSO, to continue Three weeks...
Swift , Is therefoie hereby given to the Coronet's
and Justices of the Pease of. the Bounty of itrade
tort, that They be tin n and there In their proper
persons, at lb o'clock in the forenoon of said day,
with record,. Inquisitions Pm' other remembrances
to'do those things which to their office anpertaiii
to be done: not those %I,° are tiontiff fly rec. giii-.
zances or otherwise, to prosecute against the prim).
tiors who are or may beeln the Jail of said county,
are to be then and there to prosecute against them
a , shall be just. dumra are requested to be puts&
teal in their attendance. agrei ably to their notice.
Dived at Towanda. the 9th day'of November, in the
year of our Lord one' thousand eight hundred
and, eighty, and of the Independence• of the
United States one hundr-d S i p(' fourth.
PETER J. DEAN. Sheriff.
.litrby to the one of J. A. Record v.. K. C.
Mt:l2/6 and Elte•-• Means, Nn. 901, September
Term, ICS. In the Court of Neu of
Ittmlford Comity.
• • • • .
The undersigned, an Auditor appointed by the
Court to distribute .certain. funds arising from
St.erlft's We or the -defendant's real estate . , will
attend to the duties of sald appointment at-the
brace of DeWitt & Dell. In the horough.otiTowan
da' on Fillt)AY. DECEMBER 3D 1880. at 10
o'r . lock, A.. 11.. w hen and where all persons having
claims open said fund must present. them or-be
torceredebarred from comiluz to tirs.n B,ald fund'.
• L. M. 1.11.11. L. Auditor.
. Towanda, ?a., Noy. 11, 16S0-w4.
• .
District Court of am 'United States, for tile,
Western District of Pennsylvania. ro the matter
of James W.Taylor attil Mahlon M.Spalding. bank
rupts. In bankruptcy. Westeen Districtof Penn
. .
The creditonswili tale notice 'bat a fourth rn
tral moetiog of the creditors of! Mid I ..ankrutds
wIU 11 hold at Towanda, on' the 4th day of DE
t'EMBER, A. I). 1a.40, at 10 o'clock. A. n..• at Lthe
once of It. A. Mei cur. Eq.. oueof the Begistlrs
in Bankruptcy In said Dlstrict.loethe purpose.
nstmd In tb- Tfth Section of the Bantrupt.Act of
March i,67. to wit : a goal distribution of raid
bankrnins , ea alt I and at that meeting I shall ap-
Vy fora discharge trout all liability u Assignee
of satein tale, In accordance with th. Provisions Of
iishkrUiet Act,. ' •
•;• ypx, movo,
frft*lfitiViY7.l-i'll • '
- 1 1 0191SDA, BRADFORD annirTy; PA., THURSDA'r MORNING, NOVEMBER 25, 1880.
' .4L farmer traveling with his load
Wicked op a hone aboe In the road,
ind veiled fast to his barn doori-' : !
Inuit Luck might down upon bliniitur,
! Phut
blessing known in life
Might crown his homestead and his wife.
And never any kind of harm °.%.
Descend ul on his growlng farm.' ~
But dire 1111fortutie won began .
To visit the astounded min.
Pis hens declined W lay their eggs;
His bacon tumbled from the pigs,:
• And rats devOured the f Allen legs; /'
Ills c3in, that miier failed before.
Mildewed and rotted on the door;
Ills grass refused to end In hay . ;
His cattle died, or went astray ;
In abort, all moved the crooked Way.
'Next Spring a great dropth baked the sod,
And roasted every pea In•pod ; .
The reans declared they could not grow
So binges nature acted so;
Redundant Insects reared their brOod - 1
To starve for lackof juicy food t :
The staves fiora barrel sides went off
As If they had the banning-cough,
And noitsit.g of the Isettil kind .
TO bold together felt Inclined :
In short, It.was no us" to try,
While all the land was' ) ln a fry,
, •
One morn, demoralised with grier*
The farmer clamored for relief
And prayed right bard to nidersinnd
What witchcraft now possessed his land;
Why, house and farm in misery grew '
Since he nailed up that..' lucky" shoe.
While thus dismayed o'er matters wrong
An old man chanced tO;trudge along. •
To whom he told with wormwocd tears,
now his atfairi Were in . arrears,
And what a despenoi Rate of things
A picked-tip horse shoe sometimes brings
The stranger asked to see the shoe;
The fernier brought It kite slew ; .
But when the old man mind his head,
lie laughed outright and quickly said.
`• Nowonder sales upon yott frown— •
You've nailed the horse shoe upside down ;
Just burn it round, and soon you'll see •
How you and fortune will agree." • •
The far Mer turned the ltorselhoe round, . •
And showerslyegan to swell tke t grodu'd ;,
The Ilunshine laughed among tie grain
And heaps on heaps plled'up the wain
The loft his hoy could barely
Ills cattle did as they were told ;,
ills fruit trees nee:dedesrprdy props
To hold the gathering apple! ci•'opS:
Ills turnip and plata l
Astonished ill mon by their yields;
Folks never raw pack ears of corn
MI In his smiling hills were born ;
lilts barn was full of bursting bins—
Ills wit ;po'eserited him with twins;
It I:t . raelglrbors marveled more and more •
To see the Increase its his lore. . -
And oow•the merry farmer rings
•• There - are two ways of doing things: -
And when for good luck you would praYr
Nail up your horse shoe the right way.'!' , '
/farper's Nagasinefor December
. ,
, .
Perihelion Plague—A Warning Voice
Blood and Death Astrological
WUnders and. Woes from 11 1 M0 to 1047
.—Startling Sensatiuns,Omy the Seers
.of the Stars-1 he Dire Eilects of the
Approaching Perlhellaihe Season
in Which] to Prepare for the Wrath
to Conic. :
111" ROF. C. A: i3RIMMELt.
. •
, It is pretty well understood that
the perihelia of the four great plan
nets—Jupiter. Uranus, Neptane and
Saturn—will bc•co-incident in 1380.
Astrology,f oday is ridiculed \ by
many so,called scientists. After 1430
astrology will be taught - mans
who reject it now. Bacon. says "the
world oppoSes what- it does not un
derstand.'7- in the case of astrology
this is pre•eniinently so I . have no
desire to discuss tlie veritY•or falsity
of astrology; I simply state the
effects 'which the approaching perihe
lia will produce according to nitro
logical deduction, -- The effects which
this conjunction will produce are trio
! mentong. From IsSO to 1887 will be
One universal carnival oldmith. No
place on eartli will be , entirely free
froth the plague. The Pacific coast
will not miner anythini in compari-
8011 to any oilier porticn of the globe..
The coincidence of these planets in
perihelion will „always produce ,epi; ,
dethib . and •de tructive diseases.
Three of these planet& are
and Jupiter, although a tienefie, pro-
(fuCes evil . throUgh . association:; or
technically, by conjunction . with the
others. - Diseases will .appear, the
nature of which will iktflie the skill
of the most eminent physiciaths.
Every drop of wpter in the earth, ou
the earth or'above thei earth will be,
more or 'less poisonous atmoS4 : :
phere, will be foul with
_noisome '
odors, ELM), there be few coristi-.
'utions able resist the coming:
scourge, _therefore. pOptirt, i , ye that.
are constitutionally - weak, sand in
emperateond gluttonoua,.frman'S
Ja - At home,--the grve. From . the
far east the pestilential -storm wilt
sweep, and` its last struggle will end
in the far: west. In ;742 and 1665
three of the planets,, 64 of which
were' imalilies : (Mars and Saturn),.
were in peOlielion and Jupiter,
though, a benefic, brought - evil
through Association. .Now 542 and
665 were the . worst plague eras of
which_ the world lia'At ',anir-veeord.,
From 542 to
. 546, it IT been.estima-'
ted that from 75,000,000 t 0320,0 .0,-
000 victitus suffered : death by. the
plague. (,‘ Gibbon's I History,". vol.
chap siv.; also " Cousin's His
tory of Rothe," vol. ii, p. 178.),..
, 1n,1730„ Mars and Saturn were in'
perihelfon and in the ogri Tirko, - and
. out o' 74,000 inhabitants died
in the-city of Marseilles in lesi than
rive reeks. In 554, 10,000 died each
day in . anstantinople. Alexandria
(Egyp ) lost. in 522, 50,000, and in
532, sO,OOO of her inhabitants by the
plague.. But as bad a, were these
times, they will only approximate
'the horrors of-seven years which
Many •of us are doomed -never to '
witness. All the weak and intem
perate are sure to -die. There is not
!.. -
escape Chin .the inexorable plague
fiend. Fortunate indeed are those
whose blood is pure and free from
any--taint or yveakness. for they alone
Wffritifkrive:the wreck of the human
family. The intemperaie and weak I
will join bands and go down to their
graves in 'tens of thousands.' Ancient'
races will be blotted out ;frinn the
face of the,. earth. Asiat will be
rnesrly depopulated, and the islands
that border Aiia will suffer fright
fully from the scourge. The. coun
tries that join the northeastern por
tions of Asia *ill suffer the ravages
of the plague. Russia wid -he the
first European nation that ' will
suffer, ITnlesa cOffePt 4lSTOrtr7tng" l/11-
10:fl9ili tslifil) ilf 4 olo Mk Oft-THr'
. .
Will be found dei,likluiting.lOgi cities
on ,the Atlantic . coast of. Ametica.
America . will lose more than 15,000;-
000 Of.
.inhabitants - it the , sewers'of
her, cities are as imperfe4 in 1881 as
they are to-day. The *Wells, 'will'
_bring other Inflictions upon the in-:
habitants-of, the, earth; over which
mankind can exert no . restraining.
Clime. • There 'will come storms
and tidal . waves that will swamp
whole cities; earthquakes that-will
swallow mountains_ and ; towns; and
tornadoes_ that Will sweep shutidreds
of villageafrota , thCface of the earth;
mountains will trettible, totter and
fall into' sulphurous chasiamn; the
'geography . .of the 'earth will -
changed by volcanic action ; moun
tains will toss their' rocky heilds .. up
thiough the choicest valleys ; volleys
will appear where mountains . . stood ;
skillful mariners will .be lost in the
ocean, lowing% to the extraordinary
variations . oil the compass; naviga- ,
tors will grow pale with alum atthe '
capricious deflexure of the ,needle;
volcanoes that . have ben dormant
for centuries.- will awaken- to belch
forth their . lava with more violence
,than. 'when'•in their "pristine vigor,
rainfalls' will 'divulge. valleys, and
mountain streains will enlarge their
beds. •and beco!me Mighty torrents;
fires ,will start spontatiemisly • and
devastate whole forests ' ; greattres
will' occur in
. .mani•cities, : end some
will be totally destroyed ; there will
be.remarkable displays-Of electricity,
.frightfuttri witness; wild-beasts will,
leave their natural haunts and crowd
.into populous cities, timid and harm
less ; suffocating_ fumes' al sulphur
will -escape from the earth,, to tee
great, dread of many ' • an unpre
cedented, number of ships will; be
shattered in fragments by running on.
rocks and small islands that
are no.t, down on the,: navigator's
chart; islands •-will appear andriliaap
..pmr without ally apparent .cause;
tha navinatar's, charts will proye
moots detriment, instead ofsn aid, l
owiva to the-sudden change of ocean'
currents, temperatpre s and surround-.
ings; the birds of the air, the beasts
of the fields,' and even•the fish in the
sea will be diseased ; billions of fish
will die and be cast upon 'the sea
shore, to fester. in the sun and im
pregnate• the - atmosphere with their
foul emanations. •No fish noi•anhial
food'shoeld be eaten- from • 1882 till
1535, for - thej flesh , of nearly all the
animal kingi
. nt and the finny tribes i
'that inhabit the rivers,'streams, lakes
and oceans' 'will be deceased, and
therefore those who partake of the
flesh shall Poison their , 'blood and he
taken away shortly after. f• The :poi.
son that enters the system • by eating
diseased Meats is just as-deadly as to,
be innogulated with the plague.
Farmers will be so stricken, with
fear that they will cease to till the
a 94- gaentlamine will step in;
to make human misery more wretel
eil; tanatielsOrill spring up in many'
places, and blociiishel' will result
therefrom ; - noitilerers and robbers
will play their hellish Work With' .
punit, for 'people will' be absorbed
with the trying task of keeping alive;
people will be bUried in deep trenches
uncotlined ; the judge will be stricken
fri.o' the bench,. the pleader at the'
bar, an • *the merchant and the custo-.
mer will be seizediwith . the fatal ma
lady-while trading ; death, will cop 'e
Slow and lingering in some,
but in 'most it will be swift and ter
rible. '.ln seaboard towns thousands
will be .buried in the hays and bar
hors, the laws to the contrary not
withstanding. - l• • •
in :many countries
.vast 'districts
will be deserted, and even in. Enrope
some portions will appear , se near that
condition as' to apiill : the traveler.
One 'may walk days over I
hundreds of farms without -seeing a
liairig On._ all the large tracts
of land `that once were so animated
with alumni to b, not a vestage will be '
seen. The houses on the, deserted
farms *ill show signs of -disarrange
ment and negligence that plainly tell:
Of the - hurried departure of the
owners to the populous Let
the trave i er.pnrsue• his way till he'
comes , to the small villages,i many.of •
which will pot:contain a-single living
thing. 'Let Lim look into the houses,•
'let hirnpasslthroug,h . 'the doers that
stand ajar and witness the sickening
specie* of, 'whole families dead:
Let him still wander, it be yet have .
couraite ' through the country strict:,
en with black death, and in the fields
on the bill-side, and•in the dark can.
ons of the mountaiins, and he will see
every phase of this terrible malady;
till the culminating pointof.death is
reached—the .' . end of attacked
With the incurable disease. ' •
The'countrk people will flee'to:the
crowded cities for aid, nut uniesS
they - are, rich, the physicians will
give them little if afili• attention
-The poor will die, bsf.
_tens of thou,-
•salids •withent minfiiterig, band to
`Soothe . their ilyipg; agonies • The
(lectors 'Will be itiLuniversal deniand
and extortionate in - charges for their
services Bear in mind, Ito medicine
Or (loot& can give yen any more aid
than you' can yourself, The disease
Cannot be cured, but unless your sys
tem is too weak or Impure copious.'
draughts of Warm water ant ;R.:vege
tarian/diet Will j prevent. the disease
peisorling the. blood in - 'the , process
of digestion; •Animal. food will poi
son those who continue the use of it.
fine cotton or sponge dipped into
spirits of camphor ; and kept in the
nostrils, and frequently changed; will
prevent the bleed from poisoning
thro'- the, orgAns of respiration.
After the „black death' there will be
two years •of fire, Which :will- rage
with fury in all of ',the world
front 1885 to . 18811. These fires will
be' the„means Of annihilating 'every
germ of disease.' infact, .every city
or ;portion of a - city,: in - :which 'the
-plague appears, sheuld•be burned-. to
the ground, . -destroy r .the
.scourge. . - .ATotSet_biit.firecanido IL
- Those w.bik` those_ ter- .
Able' yearii) • ,4111 havogreater
-'enjoy went tw i rlte
lileititeres:26 . fi' t ;ie,.-tarth. - The .earth
, :--118.unich is formerly.
Alt the • leingdom will be Pro
prolonged,-. aVer
40.49Xition. of life is said .to b
e :-i3
r M ,l39w: After the year Wi..!t
- :ttt tcif!flif t A)?
The reason of2thie..most remarkable,
-Prolongation Of life- is' Owing to the
healthy electricitY_ or magnetism that
will surroutidthis globe. , troth 188 Q
tolBB7. the electricity, of this earth
Will be deadly, - owing. to the malific
influence .of Saturn and I.Tratinti upon
;par: atinosphere; ..During, the black
death the Most: wonderful celestial
phenomena/4111_15e seen tor weeks
the sun V III appear red as bload, and
:terrible convulsions will appear' in
that. great body: 'The. sun ~will die.-
charge oceans of flaming hydrogen
gases that Will - roll in
of thousands of
miles from
. its centre. The melon's
action-on the tides spasmodic
and irregular.:. Tremendous showers
of meteors. will fall to the earth and
remain in an inandesCent state for
:hours. Dense blaelvclouds will , veil
the' su n for days. and the moon will
' not shed as brig ht or as steady-a light
as before those- dreadful dayii. "The
whole heavens and earth will tremble
at the awftil, -continuous reports of,
I 'hinder, lasting frequently for bOrs;'
'blinding flashes of lightning will it-'
min e the • black - sky ' ; people will
*cream 'with .horrbr/ at the fantastic '
"tiliapes the :lightning will assume;
thousands. will go_ insane,with fear ofl
the celestial phenomena; all, males
oregress from the city, - will be stop.
pod; *trains will be :stopped On the
prairies, in the mountains and val
leys,.and their occupants will, die in
them of - disease and starvation,;
steamships and . sailing craft will ret., l
on thooceatis with their dead human
freight,lfrifting where the winds and
waves, may drive them. • . • •.- . ,
Stout mill be i ihe heart that will
not desPair in these dreadful times.
Fanaticwillarise . and cry out that
the han d of Godis against mankind;
and religious . frenzy be -.ranipantin
all the :arge cities i -so-Called prophets
will incite their followers*. to deeds
of blood• and tuning. big. they will
not hold sway long; insanity froty
religious causes .will predprninateln
those times; the mortality in the .
' eit:ies where sewerage is
. detective
will be appaling. i, E-erything that is
Ate or . drank should . be 'boiled well
before being used ; no cooked-food
or water should be partaken of if al
',lowed to be exposed to the - air for
even - .a quarter of 'an hour; food ;
must : be eaten: as soon after being 1
cooked as possible; every - kind ofl
animal food* Should -be eliminated
froth the stable ;• even flsh'and gam
should - not "be - used; milk, butter,
egos. fats oils' (excepting, vegetable
oils,) should be prohibited; vegeta
' bles, grains and fruits that are pro
duced in each country should be used.
The electric condition Of everything
on earth will be 'changed, .therefOre
the prottnets.ofthe Obit in our immetii
- ate Vicinity are the hest' to keep the
htiman system in A positive state.
When The hunian organism Is iii: a
p9sitive condition, :it is practically
irn,possible to contract disease:. .All
persons in a 'native - state to their
surrounding will be' the first to tall
victims to the -scourge. The 'flesh
eater-and the alcoholic imbibe' will
go down' hand in hand- together to
the grave, far their blood wili,become
impure and inflatned,, and therefore
: be in a negative-state and necessarily
unable to cambat with disease.. Bear
in mind, 'no vitt of the world will be
exempt from `the plague. The trigit,
homes of the Esquimans will be in
vaded by the -demon '.of death, and:
desolation will' be apparent there in
that.frozen land as. in' the sun scorch
ed sands. of Africa.: The Motigolian
race will suffer most,, for it is without
doubt the most ancient:
_. Races are
likeempires--they have their rise,
decline and - and fall, -
China will -be depopulated, ornear
ly, so; Lind when the plague breaks
out in 1881, in their, country, hordes
of Asiatics will crowd their ships and
gee: the conetry,:torapreadtfie !Oath =
some horror: over every land thew
- tarn to. Every island in the - Pacific,
will be .swarming With Mongolians,
and they. will ,at
; Pacilic
states, - and then -A theries- must suffer
A destruction. of life without a paral-.
lel,in her history:. I say that the in
litibitantsof the. pleague-stricken dis
tricts-will reach there unless more
'vigilance_ is tised; - wish
measures to keep , them'back. cli am
not actuated by any feeling of preju-,
dice against..any particular race, but.
the voice of the host of tie,:heavena
should be harkened unto, and,.'if by_
a mathematical scheme we : , cad -de
duct certain facts portentious to the'
Caucasian face,lhey should hectiVen
and followed., In mortaqty:the '' East
India country, will be next
.in 'order
of magnitude to (Nina, Africa next,
Europe next. and America next. The
.Atlantic.states will stiffer more. than.
the i Pacific '
- South America more
that ; North Ameriea, and California
will be the last 'and \ least sufferer of
this most malignant, plague • eraitho
world has ever - . known. The Plague
.is :not only what the perilrlid.brings
'us, but it will be aceompanied liY war,
discord, civil strife, floodaNinun la- .
Lions, and, seven-tenthlif Am' world,;
drew h ; and, unless. extraordinary
provision iSjitade- t.-} quell great up
risings,- anarchy, with all its horrors,
will reign from 1880 tal 887. '
lii-1887 the "Star of Bethlehem"
will be once more'seen, in I' Cassie-
Pia's. Chair," and it •will be accompa
nied by a total eclipse of the enn i and
moon.. 'This star olily makes its ap
pearance. every . 315 years. ' It. will
appear iin.illumine the heavens, and,.
i ll
exceed • i . -brilliancy even Jupiter,
when in o pposition to the 8,1111, and
therefore, nearer to the .earth and
brightest. • The marvellous brilliancy
o 1 the .‘,Star of. Bethlehem" in 1887-
Will surpass anf of its previous .yi4 ; i:
tat:ions. it Will be seen even, at noon=
day, shining . with - a quick; flashing
light the entire year after Which it
3011 . grailiiallY decrease in briglitnes's
.and finally
.diaappear, not to return
-to• Our liitems till the year22o2, or
-316 years from 1887. This starfirst
'attracted he attention of modern as-'
,trlcitionie i n the year 1372. ' It-w as
then call a new ' star. It . was "no
neW'stat, hcilvswer, for this -- w s the
star. that, illumined the -hem . pst at
the nativity of Christ. , It:' ha :reap
'peeved every 315 years i fiin - , and
every educated iistrolegetlavertairi
tiiti-Wwili oppoftr in. -- -414,Wilani
{ fhb Kiln!''? Pi tillit etfir( IIPM1114:
-.•- •
':;' . ...i--t . ':' 1 ,: . ..., - .:1... , ;,:/.'_ ,5 .4 ..
:L.1N•r:: . :!'.....':::::; , .".. ',',',"-• ' -,.4,%.
- • 3 '
, .
flied as' it will lieu a Solar and ltt.
Dar etlipses together with the baleful
influence that, follows the positions
that Mars and Saturn will occupy,
will cause a universal war and per.
tentons floods and fearful shipwrecks.
North America will' be involved in
civil strife, and a reign of terror will
Prevail in the Atlantic . States, unless
a Napcleon arises to quell it. There'
will be a war of classes--thetich will
array themselves against the poor,
aBd vice versa, everywhere.
Practical Application of-the Southern Fi.
nancial Doctrine.
Some time agO Nick Woods, the
colored man who took the prethium
at; n Colored fair for:being the black
est man in Arkansjis, borrowedit.lo
from a . promirient Little Rock poll.
tician. Yesterday Nick eame r to town
and was appkoachedl by the gentle
" Look .here, Nick, I want that $l9;
you've had ii long . enbugb." -
44 toss," replied- Nick, " hit " 'peerEi
ter.lne dat -F heard yer make a speech
t'other day in faber of repugiatin s
de State debt.. 'Cording ter de gog-_
afy ver'bil out dat day, I oughtener
pay yer de $10."
." There. is no similarity in the two,
"No „what? Similarity, ur-he-he.
: Ef - 1 stays rouu' dis man long I'll be
IV aAin' ob a school.' 'Cordin' ter
. 3er Owti gog,afy .1 ain't gwine ter pay ,
de debt." , , /:
"Look here, man, , you are drOp.
ping into an error. lon are not a
State. The State of Arkansas can
not be sued." •• ' -
4 t Ye's, I'se • a State: Hain% I. 41 un
reached man's ,'state ?. Any man
wilat'a r twentY-one years ole is a State.
CoUrse yer can - . sue me, but yer can't
git within!. ; '.1:4 yer in. faber of payin'
de State debt? " •
because the State never de
rived'Much benefit from the money
borrowed." , .
•- " Den l'se gayer agin ' : l o nebber
gained no' benefit kora de mone3
'what )aorrOred frum yet'. I got
drunk ail' goon de rock pile. No,
Coking', I cap't pay yer. I'd like
mighty well ter do it, but she's agin
my princip.uni." . ,
" If you don't, pay' me, , you black
Scroundrel, OF, thrash you right.
here:" I.
dat wliat yer call Democratic
doctrine ? than. not 'ter pay
one debt an' rovbale him case he won't
pay anndddri ! Dot's a .cuis way ob
busine4 'Cordin' to' my notion:
No boss, I .iian't pay yer .I'se in
fabus ob yer#igiation from' de word
wolf, an' weq is de fust Jes
giv nigga si chance to be dishones'
•kn, he can'in'lghty nigh tote his eend
wid de'vriiitel folks. ..D.ishOnest;y wid
a nigger metiiis dishonesty., - He ain't
-a gwiue ter 4teal a. chicken from one
man an' gib hit to ant rider man. He's
owine 'ter chickens from-bof de.
men. DoeS yer heal; my horn? Does
yer turnble CO de situation.? 'Sorry,-
boss,. but I'fie . got de heels .on yer.
l'se got de advantages, an' l'sogwind
war 's!.m like a' par o i socks. .4 re
pugiates de debt. (Sod boss."
I.—Arkansas Ocv;eite.
014 Bazembee Ma4s'a Reputa 7
-Old .Bazetabee had returned Trona
the club the other evening, when, as
he -hung up his overcoat on the hall
hat-rack and prepare 1 to,go up stairs,
he heard such strangelv.;excited voices
In - the front parlor that.he paused_ to
. .
sten. -
. . • .
, .. .
A voice, that, herecognjzed at once
as belonging - t that fastzlookitlg
young Snyder he had warned
to be careful abOut, said contemptu.
, .
. •
ou4:. , ..,
. ~
• '"Peace , woman, and wrafy me no
longer by - your . reprdaches•, 1 tell
you - the day 'of wedding with Alice
Mantressorls fixed, and by heavens
nothing shall prevent our unionr .
Could these wOrda . be addressed' to
his own 'daughter?: ;Yes, it was in'-'
deed Maria's sob-choked tones.that
replied : •-..,
'' • *... . .
This, Olen, is the reward for my
sacrifice,' . ray . devotion. Ri inert, and
forsaken, you taunt; • me with your
latest conque4t. *Monster--coward!"
• It only . required a second for Ba-
Zembee To, rush up , stairs and: get, his
shot-inn Out of the elosei f f..' The nest
moment he burst into the parlor-with
blitzing eyes ; and,. hurling . the black
hearted betrayer to the' floor, he
plaCed the muzzle of hisbreethdoad
, •
er at his temple, hissing 1 -.-.
" Villian, swear to me that you
will make an: honest woman•of . this
duped angel or I will strew theflpor
with your devilish .brains!"sll9Oray!"
shouted . young Snyder,:,_ sitting up
and clapping his • bands. i t" Tbatfs
way Op. - . Magnif. Sperlendid!" `.
"Beautifu4papa. Encore! .!Encore'!.
Bravo!" .added 31 .ria, delightedly:
I never six anything • better at
Baldsidn's " '.. • .. .1
• . • " . Eh ? - N1 hat' ? 1 I—er-er
fmered: the , ivildered.parenN
.ing arms. 1 .
- -4. We •were so •afraid t
would object to .my taking ;
the private theatricals: Mit ei
neverlistentto it But you
ter than any ofl ns--deesn't.
by ?" l- _ •
-You bet.'" replied - Bobby
? - '
ly, 4 ' must hae.
airMteur -Macready once, sir:
Then-Mr.l Bazembee couted and
• .,.
wiped his 'forehead,
, and 1 umbl ed seen a good d
about_ his havingdial of
that sort of I ,liittg, when he was - young,
and that Maria must be sure to-take
-iii the ma', when her piling freifid
.had gone, and
. then went upr-to bed
and dreamed he Was playing an Out
raged 'community_ to' 2rowded. houses
.till night . t :'
„. ' • , ' . ' .
. , ....L„............-.---- , •
1 . : - • -
1 -
"Tara is nice time of night": , for You
to be - cominin," said a mother to her
daughter, who
o returned from a .walk at
ten o'clock. 1." When I was like :y0n, , P..1
continued' - "my mother iroUld not
Mimi me,Ou later than seven o'clock,"
"Oh,'yort h d a nice sort - of mother,"
• 'unmoved t a girl.' "I had, you young
jade," said, he mother, "a nieet mother
than ever - y n had." • - .• , ' . i .-:
ICalgsw hoouteacher.i ii.Whera #clea
Our- amts., tor
. .'”lnto- the , holiper.,l.
li What hu t fpy 2! .'''ll'at-.lss l , , ,uppor,'!'" frt.:
!MORRO' !Ft}t. o o O. fifiholl.,ll.._ ", !'• -.- --:
A 5 " •
tl i~
Mark Twain's Wonderful Watch..
at 3t9ti
irl you'd
act b 4-,
,he Bob-
been an
'i~~y ;.'~~~ ~~1
Do I jove bet?
Dimpling reit lips at me potting
Dimpling shoulderist nuVionting
-11 don't
• .
= Do I love tor
Polsoncil fn ttolse crystal eyes 1
Parity forever lies—
Yes, I do 2.
Do I totelicri
Little wild and Willful fiction,
Teasing. torturing contradiction=
• No, I don't:
' Ito'l love her?
With kind acts and sweet wards, she
Aids and comforts liovert, , ,r 3 —r'
. Yes, I do! •
Dn Hove herr
Quick she puts her cutraseon,
'Otabewith laughter, Mogi with scorn—
.: No, I don't ! •
lid I toviher?
No When to my arms she tile.,
Filling me with glatimMprlee--% •
Ah I Yea, Idp ••,
My beautiful new watch - had!run
eighteen or nineteen months without
breaking: any part of its tadehinexy,
or stopping. 1 had 'come to.believe
it infallible in• its judgments about
the, time .of slity, and to .consider its
constitution and its. anatomy imper
ishable: But at last one night, 1i let
itrun down. I grieved about it Ss.
-itOt were a recognized. messenger
and forerunner of calamity. .11::t"by
and by I cheered up, set the watch
by - giteos, and ' commanded rily body
ings and superstitions to depart.
Next • day I stepped into the chief,
jeweler's to set it' by the exact time,
and the head of the establishment
took it out of my band and•proceed- . 1
ed to set it ;for me. Then he said:
" She is four minutes 'slow, :and the
-regulaormastbe pushed up a little,"
and so, while I danced around him in
anguish; and •beseeching him to let
the whole alone, .he calmly -and'
Cruelly did the. shameful deed. My
watch began to. gain.'• It - gained
faster day by day. Within a week
it; sickened . to a raging, fever; , and its
pulse went up *to
. a hundred and fif
teen in -the shade.' At the end of two.
months it . had left all. the time pieces
of the tolls far in the rear, and was
a,fraction over thirteen - days ahead
of the almanac. "-It Was, way into NO
veinber enjoying the snow, while the
October leaves were still turning.
:It hurried up house rents; bills pay-'
able, and such things, in such a ruin
,• ous way that I could not--abide it.. I
! took it to the watchmaker. to be reg
ulated. lie asked me if I had ever
had it ;repaired. I said no, it had•
never - -needed any repairing.
Icioked.a : look of vicious happiness
and . eagerly ,pried- the. watch 'open,
then put la small , dice box into. his
eye, and peered into its machinery.
He said it wanted .cleaning and oil
ing, besides regulating once in a
week. After.. being cleaned and
oiled, . and . regulated,' my . watch
slowed down to that, degree • that it
.ticked like a tolling bell. I begot left by _trains, I failed allap-'
.1 got to missing niysdin
,,..ner; my watch strung .out three
dayatgraee to :our and let me go to,
protest; "1 gradually drifted back in
to yesterday, .and then llay before,
then into last week, and by and by
the cOmprehe , 'sion came upon me
that all solitary .and alone I *43
lingering alone in the- week before
last, and,the world was,,
out of sight..
I -seemed to detect iii.inyaelf a sort
of sneaking fellow-fteling for the
mummy in the museum and a desire
to swap news with him. I went to a
watchmaker, again. He -took the
• watch all to pieces while I waited,
and-then said the barrel was"swelled."
Ile said he could reduce it'in three
.days After this,the'watch averaged
Well-but' nothing more. - For half a
day it would -go like' the very mis- -
Chief, and keep up such a barking
and wheezing and snorting, that I
could . not heat myself think • for the
disturbance ; and as, long as-it held
"rout, there was not a watch in' the land
that stood any chance against. it,
Bin,- the reat.of the day it' would keep
on slowing down. and footing along
until all the 01°04 it had left,behind
cattglit, up again. .S.O, at last ; at the
end of twenty-font hoot's, it would
trot fin to the judge's stand all right
and just On time. It would show a
fair and 'square; average, and no man
coldd sky it dow. -- rnore or less' of its
duty. • But a corieet average is-only
a mild virtue in a ,watch, and- I took
'this instrument to another watch--
. Ile said - the ,kingbolt - was
'broken. .I' . said - I was( glad :it was ,
nothing .more serious. To tell ''the
plaintruth, I bad - no idea what the
king bolt Was; but I did , not-choose
tO appear ignorant to, a stranger.
repaired the kingbolt, but that the
watch gained in one way it lost in,
another.' It would run awhile and
atop awhile, and then' run -awhile ..
again and so oh,. .usine its own dis
cretion-.about the intervals. And
every, time it Went \ off kicked like - a:
inusket, Vpadded my breast for a
few. days, .lint finally took the watch,
Le another watchmakel l . He took it
all. to pieces, and turned' the ruin
overan&over under his glass; then: ,
said there appeared,to. be something
the:matter with the hair triggers HO
fixed it, and gave it a fresh start; It
:did well now, except that always at
ten. minutes to ten' the hands would
abut up, together like a• pair of seas-'
•sors, and from that .;time forth-they
would ;travel together, The oldest
,roan in!l the world could -not make
head o 'of the time of day-by
such a watch, andlso, - I-went.again to
I have the thino . repaired. This per
son said the• main Spring was not
L-straight:. - He also _;remarked, that
part of:the works needed half-soling.
lie 'made these things all right,and
then mrtline piece performed yam
' that now and then,
after .working along quietly for
nearly eight hours, everything inside'
would let go of-a sidden . andbegin
to buzz: like a bee, :and the hinds
stmightWay begin to spin
Iminstao fast that their individuality
rWai lOst completely, and they seemed
a delicate -spider web over the face
of the watch.
,Shti would reel off the
next tiwenly-four hours in six or seven
minute's and then stop ,With a bang.,
.went with it hpayler -hetiit'to out
TIM rtP 4l . o44 frf I. SOO
L, ,
. -
81.00 per Annum In. Advance.
he took her to plecTs. Then I pre cross cluestioti him rigidly,
for the think was getting serious.
The watch had cost $2OO originally,
and I deemed to hive paid ,out two
or three thousand for repairs. While
I waited and
,looked ou',l
. presently
recognized in this. watchmaker
old acquaintancer-a steamboat 4ugi
neer of other days, and not a very
good engineer either. He eimmlitied
all the parts carefully, just as the
other watchmakers bad done and
then delivered his verdict with the
same confidence of manner - . •
He said :... ...1 , ' , •
Q, l'She makes too much steam—you .
'want to bang the monkey wrench
on the safely valve I". . '. '
.I brained_ him on the Spot , a nd had
, -
him buried at my own eipense. •, -
.j, i My uncle William (now debafied;
as!) used .to say that a , ,good horse
- as,a good'horse until. he ran away
once and' . that .:a good • watch was a
goodwatch until the repaiiers got a
khance.atit. And he Used to wonder
*hal became Of-all the Unsuccessful
tinkers, and gunsnAtbs ; 'but nobody
could ever tell Lim.. • .
A Clergyrhan's Experienc e . R;
-A country clergymen says in the
Ttoy Times: - "There are' a mat
Many -Ain w ten; chapters of a clergy
paWa life in the country which
Would read like romance to the unin•
Mated. There are chapters of hard
'facts as well, as happy 'fancies. In
my first yearin the ministry,my f sal-
:try was just $51;0, with which I,
boarded' myself. and team, had the
Tung fever, wa.s matried, -, paying the
minister a VIeN-and so My dead-
Ifeadisin.began. • , fy first wedding at
the pat sonage.was a great' event.l It
was on a cold winter day. The extra
-fire was,. made- in. the parlor, ;and
*hen the couple' arriyed I . fed their
horserwip hay and oats, the bride
end groom ate heartily •'of 'a good
steak dinner.. obtained .a - certifierite
s% hick cost fifty Oats, and 1 received
one dollar; for the entire entertain
ment. There are of course profitable
marriage occasions—oases in the
scorching sands,. of Ministerial path-.
ways.. 1- know, of an ex;prtsicling
elder of: the Troy Conference: who
vas called on' •to ofliciate at.a coil
tem - plated wedding four miles from a
Vermont village. - A horse and ; buggy
- were sent to take him to the place,
. .
and on his .arrival he forund that a
family ro,n , had caused .an indefinite
•poStponement of the wedding.
vas not even asked in,' but was al
lowed to foot it -home: in the 'mud
without fee or thanks.
,Funerals in
the country 'Call for great grate On
the part of the parson: I. have
gfated at three,ftmerals,in Otte day in
ramilies outside 'of my :own congre
fiation withotit thanks or fee. - 'I
have even paid livery -.hire, receiving
nothing in remuneration; 'to attend
*ends; Still I 'am 'called a 'dead- .
ifesa; IK • feauie I sometimes ride on
railroads•for halt fdre when on -min- -
„istorial duties. I \ have"attended two
pauper-funerals in'one day, for which.
the'town - paid the `overseer for his
time, the doctor for :kis visits and .
medicine, the gravedigger ,and the
undertaker, but I receisW nothing
for my services: Then I\have at
tended other funerals in - - all kinds of
weather. where interested parties.
upon my taking leave,
.have said:
ate you again some. other day:
One man who promised to -see tie.
some other day, saw me sooner• than .
he expected. At a , camp-meeting
few months later. he was converted,
and when I saw • the tears in: his
eyes I mentally prayed, •' Lord, have
mercy on that man's soul. When
the meeting closed he warmly grasped
me with his tight band, and with his
left hand handed me a $5 bill; say
ing: I feel a though
ought to 'pay you for attending my
wife's funeral last- June: -. Well, for
once, I felt:the Lord had answered
my prayer.” - ••••
Her. Petty, and What Came of It
' The misforiunes, of a Forest-Hills
lady are humoroasly told by the Bos
ton Courier. She went to the city
'to do some shopping, and among
other things bought a .new hat—a
Derby:the first of the kind she had
, ever Worn. She stood at the counter
with tho hat on, when her sister, who
livesin:the City, came ~in, rooked at
her very Jird; and. said to a friend,
" How much that lady look 3 like - Iny
sister !" It required a personal ex
planation to convince' her that she
was her sister. On, the. train she
spied her husband, who was buried
in an evening newspaper. .He glanc
ed at her and returned to his news.
She sat _near him,' and after a while
Cha - ley." He looked up-grin
ned, looked a little .undecided and - -
again returned to his paper. When
the train stopped, she, went up behind
.him and said, Charley." Balm,
the good boy, didn't even look around.
Then she touched Lis. arm and said
in. despair,".Charley, lon't you know
me? What is the, matter?. •At this
he sto pped,'gazed at her steadily', and
said, " I beg your—What !—Oh, the
deucel - .=Come n_ ow,! ''''' .that you;
Minnie?. Why, w.hat's come over
you?" " I suppose this horrid,
horrid hat... I'll take it off' the min
ute I get home. - and never wear it
again - . • Didn't you really •know me,
dear ?" "Of course not ;- I thought
it was that girl across-the.street try 7
ng - to scrape a- quaintance with,me."
SHE vas of those nervous, fidgety sort
or women who get up-on a chair to thread
.n.needle, and When she swallowed a lively
flv• with her raspberries*, the neigbbors
thought that the Fourth of July had, ar
rived 24 hours too' , , soon. - Freedom, dur
ing the primest days of Kosciusko, never
shrieked' with greater, velocity than she
Summit:a,. at a Paris restaurant. An
old colonel., az work upon a 'Steak and
fried potatoes, was annoyed by a
cried. greeable odor. "Waiter'!" be . cried.
.." - Wliero . does that knell- comp from?"
"Monsieur alludes, perhaps, to the
ihriinp . o They are, quite fresh. They ;
.have just arrived from - Cherbourg.
" The deuce they have. They mina on
foot then." . -
WRVN they can't make an Albany baby
quit er)ing in any other way, - they let'
him crawl under:, a bed and make him be-
Metre they think•thate he is lost and are
boicitni forltints DMII9 - keep tptiet
fOf tre fkifirj: . •
Sir laiac's Reply
The president of the eelebrated
Lime Min • Club " stated _that he
WO in - nx..lipt of. a eommuniestion
, from St. Louis asking the 616 how
it stood On the Bob Ingersoll ques
tion of 04 or. no - God. He would
ask Sir Ins m Walpole to .answer it
for himself and all his fellow-memb
ers. He was willing to , abide by
what the good old man plaid, and he
bell ved all others would be.; The
, ivhite-headed old roan, .: old and
Wrinkled, and burdene with the
weight of 70 years , rose in his seat,
looked about bun and quietly began:
"It dar am no God den dor am no
fueher. When we close our_ eyewin
death de soul dies wid* its an' We
molder to dust'de same as,dobrutes.
It has bin a long journey for me. In
my heart am de graves of wife an'
child'en.' My days have been cloudy
an' full of woe. My, nights have bin
dark an' full of sorrow. have bin'
robbed, cheated, abtused;'in' made to
feel my wretchedness, but netiber,
not eben in my darkest hour., did'.
doubt dar was a God, nor did I lose •
faith,in Him. Take away gat faith
to=night—make me believe dat dar
am no Ileaben-r-tell me dat I wonif
meet MY, poor ole Chloe. an' -de
blessed cbill'ren up dar Imong de
angels, an' you would craft me down
ati_ break my ole heart. Pat's all I •
pear to be libin fur—(o wait de Mas
terl - call to close de ledger of life no'
go home 1 , I am- 614 an' poor • an'
lowly, but heat 'in my breast am a
feelin' (Ist - I Wouldn't sell fur all dc
gold in de world--d,4t I all "dt argu
ments of a million •Ihgersolls, could
not change—a feeling dat poor as
an' lowly as I am, de gravi: wtlC
not be de las' of me." . • '
During his remarks the hall was as
qUiet as tile' grave. When he had
finished it was a full minute before '
any one moved. Then = Brother
Gardner softly said: "As says. t'iir
Isiite, so say we all."
Eveningt at Home.
It is' well.. for the women of the
houE,Chold to remember that • the
' i.leasant evenings at home nre strong
antidotes .to the practice of lOokiri
for enjoyment abroad,. and Feeking
for pleaiure in by and forbidden'
places for relaxation arid recreation
will be indulged in somehow .11 moAt
men, and happy are they w4o find in
he home 'circle the diversion they
need. A lively game, an , interestin4
lenok‘ readd gleSud, or in 'musical fatn•
ities, a new song to LT practice
will Make an evening pass pleasantly.
A little forethought during the.
day, a little pulling of wires that
need not ..appear, will • make .the
whole thing appear easy; and differ-..'
ent• ways and means may be prepared •
for making the hours pass 'Pleasantly._
r.nd in a time to be looked forward
to with pleasant anticipations: . .
We visited once a large family
w.llere•it was the duty of each sister,
in turn, to provide the evening's oc.- •
enpation and there was a _pleasant
rivalry between them as _to whose'
evenings 'should be - 'the most enjoy.:
'able. The brothers entered fully in
to.the spirit of the simple home en- -
lertaiaments, and were asloth to he
obliged to - spend .an evening - away;,--
from home as their sisters and pa
rents were 'sorry .to have them ah- ;
t_tnt.. Every one spohe of this family
a- - ; an .uncommonly united - one, for
each and every member.shUwed.sueh
a strong attachment for the home to
thich each 'one contributed so much
plea Sure: '
A CERTAIN British Vice, Consul at
an Eastern Asian port got- leave of
-absence to visit America: On;arri:i
ing' at San Francisco w.:03 intro- '
ilneed to some practical jokers, lwho
hearing him expre.,s'a desire' to fight
Indians and hunt buffaloes, tot& him.
that both abounded in the neighbor-.
lino& -.An expedition was arranged,
'and cirrus Indians and 'menagerie
buffaloes were provided, The Bri
ton's valor put all the alleged In
dians tollight; and he enjoyed his
supposed buffalo hunt hugely. Then •
he traveled across the United States •
and sailed for England - from Nevi
York. When he. stopped iri England •
and. told his .marvelcius .story, the
only' time . thing in it caused the . -
whole ` it to be suspected. One of -•
his friends
_said to another. "BY
dove! l:'never, -heard in all. my life,
I.Ou know; such atrocious stories its
he has beet; telling us. -IY-hat don
think he tried to make u. helieve ?
It is all-very fine to have shot 'Jo
end of Indians and buffaloes, . Of
course, you know. Where there are
so many as , there are in San Francisco..
and New Ilimpshire and Niagara_
Falls and all those places. a plucky
fellow might do that. . But be
actually tried to 'Make . ua - \bello'c
the most extraordinary story than
have ever :beard about your
Country, yon know. He says that
be, went - to a place" called Chicago,
v•nd he went to draw some money
from - a bank and found that they hall -
raised'it up and were moving it with
all the fellows inside, you know, go
ing on - .witfi their 'work 1 I say, just
fancy theeheek'of the fello'iv anppos•
jug he'coufd make us believe that!"
Fun, Fact and Facetize.
A I.ow story—the baiement.
TnE last 'resort—a shoe shop..
DEAD issnes—old newspapers.
Wuo bath woe? The teamster
Tnv. seamstress forever—let her.rits!
.TnECbinese plank—an Let:tang hosint.
`THE sun is the oldest settler to tlfe
Vest. -
• A ont.ti!c: error—resurrecting a dt:11
body. .
THE donkey W the bray-vest of the
rityve.. I = • ."
Qt:Ezu kind of,alath--gettitig immers
ed in thought.
Wgiest a man dies he adjourns sine die,
so to speak.. -
Twit man who was stage-struck had tbe
driver arrested. • .
THE man who offers you counterfeit
coppers shows bad cents.
Wuzue is the man who is going forty
days without, a drink?' ►
- THE - man-:who loafs his time- away
around a one-hcrrso. grocery, - while his
wife takes in washing to- support him,
can always tell you just what this country
needs to enhance its prospetity.
AT dOcial re-union, a few evenings
ago, the question was asked, "Of what
sort cif fruit does a quarrelsome man and
wife, remind- you?" - Thal young lady,
who - promptly • answered, "A prickly
pair," got the medal.
A NEWBrAPILIZ man's , wife, who de,
'serves a purse - equal to her wit, , ,,,says that
she is in a quandary whether to ge' rea
dy to go away , on aAramtion and stay at
home, or not to get ready -and_ ,g 6. She
can afford to do one or the other, but not
"Asttntito new or freak this 'morn
lug?'.' a , t reloOrer asked, Ins railroad , of
fice. "Yee , replied the . lone occupant
of the Ointment. "What is it?" quer
ied the reporter, whipping out his Rote
book.• -Said the railroad man, edging to
ward the - door : "That paint you :Ire
leaning against.'i Buell itm ;bp loads P.
ifil l fPire .l ol l . ;9°