Bradford reporter. (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, January 04, 1866, Image 1

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:s . TEEMS INVARIABLY CASH.
frlnlfd jfflftnj.
WIVTER.
I. mi -! Ihe tardy winter comes ;
I ln-ar l is foot-step through the nights !
1 li-.u his vanguard from the heights
M, j.-u through the pin 1 with muffled drums!
Hi- i.akcd feet arc on the mead :
fLe grass blades stiffen in his path,
y fear for child of earth he hath !
\" | jty for her tender seed
fl., are oaks shudder at his breath :
\ uioiiitnt by the stream he stays
it, melody is mute ! A glaze
I ~TK o'er its dimples, as of death !
'
I ui lettered stream and .dackened moor,
TLe city's walls he silent nears ;
The mansion of the rich he fears :
ii -torms the cabins of the poor!
, ataiia d concli, the glowing hearth,
!frost-rimmed Graybeanl's power defy :
Ik curses as he hurries by
i stnk> s the luggar, dead, to earth!
I'm every gleaming hall lie spares,
\ hundred lieurtl -s hovels hold,
Hi art pulseless, crisp with ice and cold,
VI • '..1 • hundred glim Despairs!
|i a .rests oi. wby His command
Who saith 'II' lendeth to the Lord
Who givetli to the poor!" Your hoard
Is iiis ! Ve stewards of the land !
II e y..sir mi.--iou! Yc who feed
V> "V I. xisL tin -! Not far,
i •at your doors, your Heathen are!
' 1-i 01 your creditors—take lreed!
I:, j .tk is long to Pagan shores :
TL>.ir -kits are sunny ; God o'er all!
I'h- winter's deadly harvests fall
.'...lvoiC Deal your Master's stores!
pisfdimuTO.
R ECON STRI'CTION.
SPEECH OF RON. THAD. STEVENS,
OI PENNSYLVANIA,
IMivrittl in (IK- limztc of Ht prcsv nini
nber I*, hori,
Mr - \i x-. A candid examination of
wer and proper principles of recon- '■
utiuii can be offensive to no one, and
y | -si: !y be profitable by exciting in
y "in: id' the suggestions of the rnes- j
- win ii we are now considering has
il reference to this. Perhaps it is the
must interesting to the people at
- time. The President assumes, what
doubts, that the late rebel States
ve ! -t their constitutional relations to
1 nion, and are incapable of represent
•u in ( ongress, except by permission of'
Government. It mutters but little,with 1
- admission,whether you call thein States :
t of the 1 nion, and now conquered Ter
ovies, or assert that because theUoiistitu
m forbids them to do what they did do,
H they are therefore only dead as to all
tioriiil A Ml] political action,and will remain
until the Government shall breathe into
na the breath of life anew and permit
in to occupy their former position. In
1 words, that they are not out of the J
n. hut are only dead carcasses lying |
' a the I nion. In either case, it is very
" ti,at 11 requires the action of ('ongress -
enable them to form a State government
ml representatives to Congress.
• N "inly, I believe, pretends that with i j
constitutions and frames of gov :
: t they can he permitted to claim their ,
■-i ts under the Constitution. They h
"in tueir constitutional States into . |
i, and built on their foundations fab- J •
: a totally different character. Dead ' 1
a iii"t raise themselves Bead States 1
VM'" I '' t ' ,( ' ll ' own existence "as it; 1
' w hose especial duty is it to do it ?I 1
in dees the Constitution place the 1
Aot ill the judicial branch of Gov
■"'t, tor it only adjudicates and does
•"- libe laws. Not in the Executive,
"jy executes and cannot make laws, j
l " c 1 iiiniai der-in-Chief of the ar- 1
1 he can only liold them under mili
the sovereign legislative : j
r ■ 'he conqueror shall give them
f rtunatcly. 110 difficulty is solv- 1
'• |Ui>t:oii. lln re are two provisions
'solution, under one of which the i
, hdl. The fourth article says :
utcs may be admitted by Con- |
" ;!| to this Union."
i'ldgment this is the controlling 1
;■ " this case. I uless the law ol
- a dead letter the late war be-j 1
* acknowledged belligerents sev- (
""ginal compacts, and broke all ,
'Mil bound them together. The fu- <
c 'J 1 '' 11 the conquered power de
' will of the conqueror. They j
1,1 m >mw States or remain as .
Provinces. Congress—the Sen-
R"iise nt Representatives, with
" urn i,ce of the President—is
I "w that can act in the matter. 1
j.' j ''"'ne dreaming theorists >
> *t these States have never been
-'"ii, but have only destroyed .
•v';eminent.-; so :ts to be inca- I
. c mieal aetiou ; then the fourth 1
'a' fourth article applies, which :
r y s t f,rguarantee to 1
v.- ,'" ' "i"n a republican form
; nmient." ' (
" : . v : ii.'it ,1 "'o ' 1 ' N, ot t,le J 11 "
-'-: , W) r vctudeiit ; but the sover- i
f >.. Dr ,. ' ("'''pie, exercised through i
"r'-iuv ' ,I,UIVI ' H hi (Jongress, with the • i
Hitical ( ' x,:c,lt ive. It means i
"'^eriunent—the concurrent 1 i
E. <). GOODRICH, Publisher.
VOLUME XXVI.
action of both branches of Congress and
the Executive. The separate action of each
amounts to nothing,either in admitting new
States or guaranteeing republican govern
ments to lapsed or outlawed States. Whence
springs the preposterous idea that either
the President, or the Senate, or the House
oi Representatives, acting seperately can
determine the right of States to send mem
bers 01 Senators to the Congress of the
1 nion ?
To prove that they are and for four years
have been out of the Uniofl forall legal pur
| poses, and being now conquered, subject
i to the absolute disposal of Congress, 1 will
suggest a few ideas and adduce a few au
tlioiities. 11 the so-called "Confederate
i States of America" were an independent
belligerent, and were so acknowledged by
the I nilcd States and by Europe, or bad as
sumed and maintained an attitude which
entitled them to be considered and treated
as a belligerent, then, during such time,
they were precisely in the condition of a
foreign nation with whom we were at war:
nor need their independence as a nation be
acknowledged by us to produce that effect
In the able opinion delivered by that ac
complished and loyal jurist, Mr. Justice
Greir, in the prize cases, all the law 011
these points is collected and clearly btated
(2 Black, page 66.) Speaking of civil wars,
and following Yattel, he says :
"When the party in rebellion occupy and
hold in a hostile manner a certain portion
ol tei 1 itoiy ; ha\e declared their indepen
dence ; have east oil their allegiance; have
organized armies ; have commenced hostil
ities against their former sovereign, the
world acknowledges them as belligerents,
and the contest a war."
And
" The parties belligerent in a public war
are independent nations. Hut it is not nec
essaiy, to constitute war, that both parties
shouid be acknowledged as independent
nations or foreign States. A war may ex
ist where one oi the belligerents claim sov
ereign rights as against the other."
The idea that the States could not and
did not mfike war because the Constitution
forbids it, and that this must lie treated as
a war oi individuals, is a very injurious
and groundless fallacy. Individuals can
not make war. They may commit murder,
but that is no war. Communities, societies
States make war. Philliinoresays, volume
•!, page t>B :
" War between private individuals who
are members of a society cannot exist. The
use ol force in such a case is trespass
and not war."
Ilut why appeal to reason to prove that
the seceded States made war as States,
when the conclusive opinion of the Supreme
Court is at hand? In the prize cases al
ready cited, the Supreme Court say :
" Hence, in organizing this rebellion,they
have acted as States claiming to be sover
eign over all persons and property within
! their respective limits,and asserting a right
to absolve their citizens from their allegi
ance to the federal Government Several
of these States have combined to form a
new confederacy ; claiming to be acknowl
j edged by the world as a sovereign State.—
Their right to do so is now being decided
by wager of battle, l'be ports and territory
of each of these States are held in hostility
|to the General Government. It is 110 loose
unorganized insurrection, having no defined
boundary or possession. It has a boundary
marked by lines of bayonets, and which
can be crossed only by force. South of
this line is enemies' territory, because it is
claimed and held in possession byanorgon
ized hostile and belligerent power."
Again, the Court say, what I have been
astonished that anyone should doubt :
" The proclamation of blockade is itself
official and conclusive evidence to the Court
that a state of war existed."
Now, what was tiie legal result of such
war ?
"The conventions, the treaties made with
a nation are broken or annulled by a war
arising between the contracting parties."
Vath'l, 872 : HalU'ck , 871, section 23.
11 gentlemen suppose that this doctrine
applies only to national and not to civil
wars, I beg leave to refer them to Yattel,
page 428. He says :
"A civil war breaks the bands of society
and government, or at least suspends their
force and effect ; it produces in the nation
two independent parties,who consider each
other as enemies, and acknowledge 110 com
mon judge These two parties must there
lore be considered as thenceforward consti
tuting, at least for a time, two separate
bodies ; two distinct societies. They stand,
therefore, in precisely the same predica
ment as two nations who engage m a con
test, and being unable to come to an agree
ment, have recourse to arms."
At page 427 :
"And when a nation becomes divided in
to two parties absolutely independent, and
no longer acknowledge a common superior,
tlie state is dissolved, and the war between
the two parties stands 011 the same ground,
in every respect, as a public war between
two different nations."
Hut must the belligerent be acknowledg
ed as an independent nation, as some con
tend ? That is answered in the case refer
red to in 2 Hlack, as follows :
" It is not the less a eivil war, with bel
ligerent parties in hostile 'array, because it
may be called an ' insurrection' by one
side, and the insurgents be considered as
rebels or traitors. It is not necessary that
the independence of the revolted province
or State be acknowledged in order to con
stitute it a party belligerent in a war, ac
cording to the law of nations."
This doctrine, so clearly established by
publicists, and so distinctly stated by Mr.
Justice Grier, lias been frequently reitera
ted since by the Supreme Court of the
I niled States. In Mr. Alexander's case, 2
Wallace, 41the present able Chief Jus
tice, delivering the opinion of the Court,
says:
" We must be governed by the principle
of public law so often announced from this
bench as applicable to civil and interna
tional wars, that all the people of each
State or district in insurrection against the
I'nitcd States must be regarded as enemies
until by the action of the Legislature and
Executive, or otherwise, that relation is
thoroughly and permanently changed."
After such clear and repeated decisions
it is something worse than ridiculous to
hear men of respectable standing attempt
ing to nullify the law of nations, and de
clare the Supreme Court of the United
States in error, because, as the Constitution
TOWASP A, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., JANUARY 4, 1866.
forbids it, the States could not go out of
the 1 nion in fact. A respectable gentle
man was lately reciting this argument,
when he suddenly stopped, and said : "hid
you hear ol that atrocious murder commit
ted in outUowu? A rebel deliberately mur
dered a government official." The person
addressed said: "I think you are mistaken."'
"How so? 1 saw it myself." "You are
wiong ; no murder was or couid he commit
ed ; for the law forbids it."
1 he theory that the rebel States, for four
years a separate power and without a rep
resentation in Congress, were ail the time
here in the 1 nion, is a good ileal less ingen
ious and respectable than the metaphysics
of Berkeley, which proved that neither the
World nor any human being was in exist
ence. II this theory were simply ridicu
lous it could be forgiven ; but its effect is
deeply injurious to the stability of the na
tion. Ica mot doubt that the late Confed
erate States are out of the Union to all in
tents and purposes for which the conqueror
may choose to so consider them.
But on the ground of estoppel, the United
States have the clear right to elect, to ad
judge them out of the Union. They are
estopped both by matter of record and m;it
ter in One of the first resolutions
passed by seceded South Carolina in Jan
uary, 1861, is as follows :
•• Ilcsolmtl, iptanimoitsty, That the seperation of
South Carolinia from the Federal Union is final,
and she has no further interest in the Constitution
oi the LJI ted States ; and that the only appropri
ate negotiations between her and the Federal Gov
ernment are as to their mutual relations as foreign
States."
Similar resolutions appear upon all their
Statu and Confederate Government records,
'ihe speeches of their members of Congress
their generals and executive officers, and
the answers of their Government to our
shameiul sueings for peace, went upon the
defiant ground that no terms would be of
fered or received except upon the prior ac
knowledgment of the entire and permanent
independence of the Confederate States.
After this, to deny that we have a right to
treat them as a conquered belligerent, sev
ered from the I nion in fact,is not argument
but mockery. Whether it be our interest
to do so is tin; only question hereafter and
more deliberately to he considered.
But suppose tin's powerful but now sub
dued belligerent, instead of beiug uut of
the I nion, is merely destroyed, and isf now
lying about a dead corpse, <<r with anima
tion so suspended as to be incapable of ac
tion, and wholly unable to heal themselves
by any unaided movements of their own,
then they may fall under the provision of
the Constitution which says "the United
States shall guarantee to every State in the
Union a republican form of government."
Under that power, can the judiciary, or the
President, or the Commander-in-Chief of the
army, or the Senate, or House of Represen
tatives, acting separately, restore them to
life and admit them into the Union ? I in
sist that it each acted separately, though
the action of each identical with all the
others, it would amount to nothing. Noth
ing hut the joint action of the two houses
of ('ongress and the concurrence of the
President could do it. If the Senate ad
mitted their Senators, and the House their
members, it would have no effect on the fu
ture action of Congress. The Fortieth
Congress might reject both. Such is the
ragged record of Congress for the last four
years.
In Luther vs. Borden, 7 Howard, 1-42, the
Supreme Court says :
I nder this article ol the Constitution
[the one above citeilj it rests with Congress
to decide what government is the establish
ed one in a State. For as the United States
guarantee to each State a republican gov
ernment, Congress must necessarily decide
what government is established in the State
before it can determine whether it is repub
lican or not."
Congress alone can do it. But Congress
does not mean the Senate, or the House of
Representatives, anil President, all acting
severally. Their joint action constitutes
Congress. Hence a law of Congress must
he passed before any new State can be ad
mitted, or any dead one revived. Until
then no member can be lawfully admitted
into either house. Hence it appears with
how little knowledge of constitutional law
eacii branch is urged to admit members
separately from these destroyed States.
The provisions that "each house shall be
the judge of the elections, returns, and
qualifications of its own members," has not
the most distant bearing on this question.
Congress must create States and declare
when they are entitled to be represented.
Then each house must judge wncthcr the
members presenting themselves from a rec
ognized State possess the requisite qualifi
cations of age, residence, and citizenship ;
and whether the election and returns are
according to law. The houses, separately,
can judge of nothing else. It seems amaz
ing that any man of legal education could
give it any larger meaning.
It is obvious from all tins that the lirst
duty of Congress is to pass a law declaring
the condition of these outside or defunct
States, and providing proper civil govern
ments for them. Since the conquest, they
have been governed by martial law. Mil
itary rule i> necessarily despotic,and ought
not to exist longer than is absolutely nec
essary. As there are no symptoms that the
people of these provinces will be prepared
to participate in constitutional government
for some years, I know of no arrangement
so proper for them as territorial govern
ments. There they eau learn the principles
of freedom and eat the fruit of foul rebel
lion. I'mler such governments,while elect
ing members to the territorial legislatures,
they will necessarily mingle with those to
whom Congress shall extend the right of
suffrage. In Territories Congress lixes the
qualifications of electors ; and 1 know of
no better place nor better occasion for the
conquered rebels than the conqueror to prac
tise justice to all men, and accustom them
selves to make and to obey equal laws.
As these fallen rebels cannot at their opt
ion re-enter the heaven which they have
disturbed, the garden of Eden which they
have deserted, and darning swords are set
at the gates to secure their exclusion, it be
comes important to the welfare of the na
tion to inquire when the door shall be re
opened for their admission.
According to my judgment they ought
never to be recognized as capable of act
ing in the T'nion, or of being counted as
valid States, until the Constitution shall
have been so amended as to make it what
its framers intended : and so as to secure
RRGAADLBSS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QI'ARTKR.
perpetual ascendency to the party of the
! I nion ; and so as to render our republican
| Government firm anil stable forever. The
lirst of those amendments is to change the
1 intsis of representation among the States
from Federal numbers to actual voters.—
Now all the colored freemen in the slave
I Stales, and three-fifths of the slaves, are
represented, though none of them have
1 votes. 1 lie States have nineteen repressnt
ativi .> of colored slaves, if the slaves are
now free then they can add, for the other
; two-fifths, thirteen more, making the slave
representation thirty-two. I suppose the
| free blacks in those States will give at
least five more, making the representation
ol 11011-voting people of color about thirty
seven. The whole number of represcnta-
I ti\es now from the slave States is seventy.
Add the other two-fifths and it will be nine
| ty-thrce.
| If the amendment prevails, and those
; States withhold the right of suffrage from
persons of color, it will deduct about thirty
ftoven, leaving them but forty-five. With
the basis unchanged, eighty-three Southern
members, with the Democrats that will, in
the best times, be elected from the North,
will always give them a majority in Con-
I gress and in the electoral college. They
will, at the very first election, take posses
sjou of the White House and the halls of
(Jongress. I need not depict the ruin that
would follow. Assumption of the rebel
debt or repudiation of the Federal debt
would be sure to follow. The oppression
j of the frecdmcn ; the reamendinent of their
State constitutions,and the re-establishment
id slavery would be the inevitable result.
I I hat they would scorn and disregard their
1 present constitutions, forced upon them in
I the midst of martial law, would be both
natural and just. No one who has anv re
j gard for freedom ol elections can look upon
those governments, forced upon them in
i duress, with any favor. If they should
grant the right of suffrage to persons of
j color, I think their would always be Union
white men enough in the South, aided by
; the blacks, to divide the representation,and
1 thus continue the Republican ascendency.
If they should refuse to thus alter their
election laws, it would reduce the represen
tatives of the late slave States to about 45,
and render them powerless for evil.
It is plain that this amendment must be
consummated before the defunct States are
admitted to be capable of State action, or
it never can be.
The proposed amendment to allow Con
gress to lay a duty on exports is precisely
in the same situation. Its importance can
not well be oversighted. It is very obvi
ous that for many years the South will not
pay much under our internal revenue laws.
The only article on which we can raise any
considerable amount is cotton It will be
grown largely at once. With ten cents a
pound export duty it would be furnished
cheaper to foreign markets than they could
obtain it from any other part of the world.
The late war has shown that. Two million
bales exported, at five hundred pounds to
the bale, would yield $1(10,000,000. This
seems to bo the chief revenue we shall ever
derive from the South. Besides, it would
be a protection to that amount to our do
mestic manufactures. Other proposed am
endments—to make all laws uniform ; to
prohibit tlie assumption of the rebel debt
—are of vital importance, and the only
thing that can pn vent the combined forces
of Copperheads and secessionists from leg
islating against the interests of the Union
whenever they may obtain an accidental
majority.
But this is not all that we ought to do
before those inveterate rebels are invited
to participate in our legislation. We have
turned, or about to turn, loose four .million
slaves without a hut to shelter them or a
cent in their pockets. The infernal laws of
slavery have prevented them from acquir
ing an education, understanding the com
mon laws of contract, or of managing the
ordinary business of life. This Congress
is bound to provide fur them until they can
take care of themselves. If we do not
furnish them with homesteads, and hedge
them around with protective laws ; if we
leave them to the legislation of their late
masters, we had better left them in bond
age. Their condition would be worse than
that of our prisoners at Andersonville. If
we fail in this great duty, when we have
the power, we shall deserve and receive
the exeraation of history and of all future
ages.
Two things are of vital importance
1. So to establish a principle that none
of the rebel States shall be counted in any
of the amendments of ilie Constitution un
til they are duiy admitted into the family
of States by the law-making' power of their
conqueror. For more than six months the
amendment of the Constitution abolishing
slavery has been ratified by the Legisla
tures of three-fourths of the States that
acted on its passage by Congress, and
which had Legislatures, or which were
States capable of acting, or required to
act. on the question.
I take no account of the aggregation of
white-washed rebels, who without any le
gal authority have assembled in the capi
tals of the late rebel States and simulated
legislative bodies. Nor do 1 regard with
any respect the cunning byplay into which
they deluded the Secretary of State by fre
quent telegraphic announcements that
"South Carolina has adopted the amend
ment "Alabama lias adopted the amend
ment, being the twenty-seventh State," Ac.
This was intended to delude the people and
accustom Congress to hear repeated the
names of these extinct States as if tlu-y
were alive, when, in truth, they have how
no more existence than the revolted cities
of Latium, two thirds of whose people were
colonized and their property confiscated.and
their right of citizenship withdrawn by con
quering and avenging Home.
It is equally important to the stability of
this Republic that it should now be solemn
ly decided what power can revive, recreate,
and reinstate these provinces into the fam
ily of States, and invest them with the
rights ol American citizens. It is time
that Congress should assert its sovereignty,
and assume something of a dignity of a
Roman senate. It is lhrtuuatc that the
President invites Congress to take this
manly attitude. After slating witu gn at
frankness in his able message his ihc<u v.
which, however, is found to be impractica
ble, and which I believe very few me.. .• >u
sider tenable, he refers the whole matter to
the judgment of Congress. If Congress
should fail, firmly and wisely, to discharge
that high duty it is not the fault of the
President.
This Congress owes it to its own char
acter to set the seal of reprobation upon a
doctrine which is becoming too fashionable,
and unless rebuked will be the recognized
principle of our Government. Governor
Perry and other provisional governors and
orators proclaim that "this is the white
man's Government." The whole Copper
head party, pandering to the lowest preju
dices of the ignorant, repeat the cuckoo
cry, "This is the white man's Government."
Demagogues of all parties, even some high
in authority, gravely shout, "This is the
white man's Government." What is impli
ed by this ? That one race of men are to
have the exclusive right forever to rule tnis
nation, and to exercise all acts of sover
cignty, while all other races and nations
and colors are to be their subjects, and
have no voice in making the laws and clioos
ing the rulers by whom they are to be gov
erned.
W herein does this differ lroni slavery
except in degree ? Does not this contra
dict all the distinctive principles of the
Declaration of Independence? When the
great and good men promulgated that in
strument, and pledged their lives and sa
cred honor to defend it, it was supposed to
form an epoch in civil government. Before
that time it was held that the l ight to rule
was vested in families, dynasties, or races,
not because of superior intelligence or vir
tue, but because of a divine right to < njoy
exclusive privileges
Our fathers repudiated the whole doctrine
of the legal superiority of families or races,
and proclaimed the equality of men before
the law. Upon that they created a revolu
tion and built the Republic. They were
prevented hv slavery from perfecting the
superstructure whose foundation they had
thus broadly laid. For the sake of the
Union they consented to wait, but never re
linquished the idea of its final completion.
The time to which they looked forward with
anxiety has come. It is our duty to com
plete their work. If this Republic is not
now made to stauil on their great principles,
it has no honest foundation, and the Father
ol all men will still shake it to its centre.
If we have not been sufficiently scourged
for our national sin to teach us to do jusiice
to all God's creatures, without distinction
of race or color, we must expect the still
more heavy vengeance of an offended Fa
ther, still increasing his inflictions as he in
creased the severity of the plagues of Egypt
until the tyrant consented to do justice.—
And when that tyrant repented of his re
luctant consent,and attempted to re-enslave
the people, as our Southern tyrants are at
tempting to do now, he filled the Red Sea
with broken chariots and drowned horses,
and strewed the shore with dead carcasses.
Mr Chairman, I trust that the Republi
can party will not be alarmed at what I am
saying. Ido not profess to speak their
sentiments, nor must they beheld responsi
ble for them. 1 speak for myself, and take
the responsibility, and will settle with my
intelligent constituents.
1 his is not a 'white man's Government,"
in the exclusive sense in which it is used.
To say so is political blasphemy, for it vio
lates the fundamental principles of our gos
pel of liberty. This is man's Government;
the Government of all men alike ; not that
all men will have equal power and sway
within it Accidental circumstances, nat
ural and acquired endowment and ability,
will vary their fortunes. But equal rights
to all the privileges of the Government is
innate in every immortal being, no matter
what the shape or color of the tabernacle
which it inhabits.
If equal privileges were granted to all, 1
should not expect any but white men to be
elected to office for long ages to come. The
prejudice engendered by slavery would not
soon permit merit to be preferred to color.
But it would still be beneficial to the weak
er races. 111 a country where political di
visions will always exist, their power, join
ed with just white men,would greatly mod
ify, if it did not entirely prevent the injus
tice of majorities. Without the right of'
suffrage in the slave States,(l do not speak
of the free States,) I believe the slave- had
far better been left in bondage. I see it
stated that very distinguished advocates of
the right of sutlrage lately declared in this
city that they do not expect to obtain it by
congressional legislation, but only by ad
ministrative action, because, as one gallant
gentleman said,the States bad not been out
of the Union. • Then they will never get it.
The President is Jar 'sounder than they. He
sees that administrative action has nothing
to do with it. It it ever is to come, it must
he constitutional amendments or congress
ional action in the Territories, and in ena
bling acts.
How shameful that men of influence
should mislead and miseducate the public
mind ! I hey proclaim "This is the white
man's Government," and the whole coil of
copperheads echo the same sentiment, and
upstart, jealous Republicans join the cry.
Is it any wonder ignorant foreigners and
illiterate natives should learn this doctrine,
and be led to despise and maltreat a whole
race of their fellow-men?
Sir, this doctrine of a white man's <fov
eriuiient is as atrocious as the infamous
sentiment that damned the late Chief Jus
tice to everlasting fame ; and I fear, to
everlasting fire.
PARTI NO WITH AN OIJ> FRIEND.— In a hos
pital at Nashville, during' the war, a wound
| etl hero was placed on the amputating
I table, under the intluence of chloroform.
1 hey cut off his l ight arm and cast it, all
; bleeding, upon the pile of human limbs.
: They then laid him gently upon his couch.
; lie woke from his stupor and missed his
I arm. With his left arm he lifted the cloth,
1 and there was nothing but the gory stump!
"Where's my arm?" he cried; "get my
arm ; I want to see it once more—my
strong right arm.'" They brought it to
him. He took hold of the cold, clammy
lingers, and looking steadfastly at the poor
dead member, thus addressed it with tear
ful earnestness : " Good-by, old arm. We
have been a long time together. We must
part now. Good-by, old arm. You'll nev
er fire another carbine nor swing another
saber for the Government." and the tears
rolled down his cheeks. He then said to
those standing by, "Understand, I don't
i\gret its loss. It has been torn from my
body that not one State should be torn
from this glorious Union." It was by such
I heroic devotion that the rebellion was fin
-1 ally overpowered.
per n Advance.
fDN, FACTS AND FACETH.
A .IrnoE, trying a case out West,had pro
ceeded about two hours, when lie observed. ' 'Here
are only eleven jurymen present ; where is the
twelfth V" "Please your honor,- said one of the
eleven, "he has gone away about some otho busi
ness, but he has left his verdict with me!'"
A confirmed bachelor uses the following
argument against matrimony : Calico is a great
prompter of laziness. If young men wish to ac
complish any thing of moment, either of head or
of hand, they must keep clear of the institution,
entirely. A pair of sweet lips, n pink waist, swell
ing chest, a pressure of two delicate hands, will
do as much to unhinge a man as three fevers, the
measles, a large sized whooping-cough, a pair of
lock-jaws, several hydrophobias, and the doctor's
bill.
1 UK local editor of the Richmond (Indi
ana) Teles/mm recently passed a comfortable cor
ner residence in that city, and from the open win
dows of the parlor the notes from a piano come
pouring forth, accompanied by the inevitable, "Oh,
who will care for dear mother now V" Passing
around the corner, his way led by the window of
the kitchen, and over the steaming cooking-stove,
and surrounded with all the appurtenances of
cooking, he had the opportunity of witnessing
"dear mother" caring for herself and all the family
besides. His admiration tor the daughter's musi
cal talents underwent a collapse.
A BILL of fate at a Paris restaurant an
nounces for the benefit of English patrons, that
there can be obtained there : "Lobsters, with
sauce of sharpness, according to bigness " —Soup,
lean with sorrel '-—"Beefsteak, with tumbled pota
toes' "Lamb's epigrarnmes, with small peace."
JOHN BCNYAN, a costermonger, was sum
moned before the Marylebone magistrate the other
day, because lie would not "Move on." Mr. Yurd
ly said he thought it very strange that a man bear
ing the name of Bunyan should not "Progress,"
and advising luai to move on for the future when
he was told, let him go for this time.
"IT was ever my invariable custom in my
youth,' says a celebrated Persian writer, "to raise
from my sleep te watch, pray, and road the Koran.
One night as I was thus engaged, my father, a man
of practiced virtue, awoke. 'Behold,' said I to
hira, 'thy other children are lost in irreligious
slumber, while I alone am awake to praise God.'
'Son of my soul,'said he, 'it is better to sleep
than to wake to remark the faults of thy brethren.'
AN Irishman who had returned from Italy
where he had been with liis master, was asked, in
the kitchen. "Yea, then, Pat. what is the lava I
hear the master talking about "Only a drop of
the crater," was Pat's reply.
MAKVKI.OCS CURE.—A young friend of ours
who recently suffered lrom the presence of a sty in
one of liis eyes derived considerable benefit from
the application of cold pigs.
HIBERNIAN WlT.— The Stockton Jnile)#n
ihiit of Sept. IS says : Yesterday afternoon, as an
Irishman was driving a mule toward the race-track
he was accosted by a man on horseback.as follows:
"Well, i 'adilv, I see yon have your brother along
with yon. ' To which the witty Hibernian quickly
replied: "Y'es, and be me sowl it's divilish glad
we are to meet our father!"
AN litisn PARADOX — 'I'ne Irish Fenians
have committed a gross absurdity in their illegal
drilling. The Fenian "circles" have been endeav
oring to form themselves into squares.
IT is said that there was never but .me
man who wasn't spoiled by being lionized—lie was
a Jew, and bis name was Daniel.
SHERIDAN was walking in the suburbs of
London one day arm in arm with a boon compan
ion. A passer-by recognized liim. and remarked
to his friend, "lie s a great yea - v. is that Slicridan."
"That fellow lias nwrtfered the word." observed
Sheridan's friend. "Ohno," replied Sheridan, "lie
has only knocked an EVE out of it.
A MAX coming Lome one night rather late,
n little more than "half sea 3 over," feeling thirsty,
procured a glass of water and drank it. In doing
so he swallowed a small hall of silk that lay in the
bottom of the tumbler, the end of the thread
catching between his teeth. Feeling something in
his mouth, and not knowing what it was, he began
to pull at the end, and the little ball unwinding,he
soon had several yards of thread in his hand, and
still no end, apparently. Terrified, fie shouted at
the top of his voice, "Wife! wife! I say. wife,
come here. I am all unraveling."
Ir is easy to say "Know thyself," hut who
is to introduce you ? Most people go through life
without making the advantageous acquaintance in
question.
Ax INGENIOUS RIDDLE.— Hear the Quebec
ijuzetti 011 riddles : "It was done when it was be
gan, it was done when it was has half done, and
yet it wasn't done when it was finished. Now,
what was it? Of course you can't guess. Will
that doV—Timothy Johnson courts Susan Dunn.
It was Dunn when it was began, it was Dunn when
it was half done, and yet it wasn't Dunn when it
was done—for it was Johnson.
A LAWYER who was sometimes forgetful, i
having been engaged to plead the case of an offend
er. began by saying—"l know tlie prisoner at the ;
bar, and be bears tbe character of being a most I
consummate and impudent scoundrel." Here i
somebody whispered to him that tbe prisoner was 1
lsis client, when he immediately continued :—"But !
what great and good man ever lived who was not
calumniated by many of his eotemporaries."
"How do you like the character of St.
Paul'?" asked a parson of his landlady one day. j
during a conversation abont the old saints and j
apostles. "Ah! he was a good, clever old soul. I i
know—for he once said, you know, that we must j
eat what is set before lis and ask no questions, for I
conscience sake. I always thought I should like
him for a boarder!"
THE other day several gentlemen were
discussing the alarming prevalence of the crimes
of wife desertions, women eloping with other men,
Ac,, when a well known Teuton, who had been lis
tening with great attention stepped up, and in an
excited manner said : "If my vife runs away mit
anoder man's vife. I vill shake him out of her
preeches. if she he mine own fader, i vill."
How long Eve, the first woman, lived,we
do not know. It is a curious fact that, in sacred
history, the age, death and burial of only one wo
man. Sarah, the wife of Abraham, is distinctlv no
ted. Woman's age ever since appears not to have
been a subject for history or discussion.
SOME cute vankoe has invented a palpi
tating bosom for the ladies, which is set in motion
by ft concealed spring. A well-spring of affection
in the heart is a much older and more valuable in
vention. It don't need winding up, except twice n
year with a new bonnet.
Mas. SMIKES says the reason why the chil
dren of this generation are so lmd. is owing to the
wearing of Balmoral boots instead of old fashioned
slippers. Mothers it too much trouble to take off
their boots to whip children, so thev go unpunish
ed.
AT a soiree the other evening one gentle
man pointed out a dandified looking individual to
his friend as a sculptor. "What," said his friend,
"such a looking chap as that a sculptor? Surely
you must be mistaken." "He may not be the kind
of one you may mean," said the informant, "but I
know lie rhr.-.M a tailor out of a suit of clothes
last week."
CHARI.ES LAUU, when a little boy, walking
with his sister iu a church-yard, and reading the
epitaphs, said to her : "Where are all the naughty
people buried ?"
LOOK at the pages bfyour own heart and
you will see a dim reflection of what the recording
angel lias written of you in his book.
THE guilty man is doomed to carry and
odge his fiercest accuser in bis own bosom
LAY your hand upon your mouth when
be rod of deserved chastisement is upon your
ack.
TE a man will play the loafer, he had bet
ter do it in a coffee house than in ft church.
NUMBER 32.
MADAM SCANDAL.
A long time ago, ir< the western pai l of
England, there lived an aged couple, whose
time had passed away, since early yonth
in the every day round of farm life, and
who had never been known to have the
least ill feeling toward each other, since
the time when old Parson Lferiot had uni
ted them in the holy bonds of wedlock,
twenty-five years before. So well was the
fact of their conjugal happiness known
that they were ppoken of far and near as
the happiest pair in England. Now the
Devil (excuse the abrupt mention of hie
name) had been trying for twenty years
to create what is called a " fuss in the
family" between these old companions.
But, much to his mortification, he had not
been able to induce the old gentleman to
grumble about breakfast being too late 01
the old woman to give a single curtain lec
ture
After repeated efforts, the devil became
discouraged, and had he not been a person
of great determination, he would doubtless
have given the work up in despair. One
day as he walked along in a very surly
mood, after another attempt to get the old
lady toijuarrel about the pigs getting into
the yard, he met an old lady, a neighbor of
the aged couple. As Mr. Devil and the
neighbor were very particular friends, they
must needs stop on tlie way and chat a lit
tle.
" Good morning, sir," said she, " and
pray what on earth makes you look so bad
this morning ? Isn't the controversy be
tween the churches doing service ?"
" Yes."
" Isn't Deacon VY. making plenty of bad
whisky ?"
" Yes."
'• Well, what is the matter, my highly
honored master ?"
" Everything is going on well enough,"
j replied the devil, " but (and he looked as
sour as a monkey on a crab apple tree,) old
Blueford and his wife over here are injur
ing the cause terribly by their bad example;
and after trying for years to induce them
to do right, 1 must say I consider them
hopeless."
The hag stood a moment in deep thought,
i " Are you sure that yon have tried every
way ?"
" Every way I can think of."
i " Are you certain ?"
" Yes."
i " Well," replied she, "if you will prom
ise to make me a present of a new pair of
shoes, in case 1 succeed, 1 will make the
attempt myself, and see if I can raise a
! quarrel between them."
To this reasonable request the devil
gladly assented. The old hag went her
way to old Blueford's house, and found
.Mrs. Blueford busily engaged in getting
things ready for her husband's comfort on
liis return from work. -Alter the usual
compliments had passed, the following di
alogue took place :
" Well, friend 8., you and Mr. B. have
lived a long time together ?"
"Five and twenty years, come Novem
ber," replied Mrs. B.
"And all this time you have never had a
quarrel ?"
" Not one."
" 1 ain truly glad-to hear it," continued
the hag. " I consider it my duty to warn
you though this is the case, you must not
expect it to be always. Have you not ob
served that of late Mr. B. has grown peev
ish and sullen at times ?"
" A very little so." observed Mrs. Blue
ford.
" i knew it," continued the hag ; " and
let me warn you to be ou your guard."
Mrs. B. did think she had better do so.
and asked advice as to how she should man
age the case
" Have you not noticed," said the hag,
" that your husband has a bunch of long,
harsh hair a growing under the chin, side
of his throat ?"
" Yes."
"These are the cause of the trouble, and
as loug as they remain, you had better
lookout. Now, as a friend, I would ad
vise you to cut them off the first time you
get a chance, and thus end the trouble, and
as long as they remain, you had better look
out."
Soon after this the bag started for home,
and made it convenient to meet Mr. B. on
Slit; way. Much the same talk in relation
to his domestic happiness passed between
him and the old woman.
" But, friend Blueford," said she, " 1 think
it my duty as a christian to warn you to
be on your guard, for I tell you your wife
intends vour ruin."
Old Mr. B. was very much astonished,
yet he could not wholly discredit her words.
When lie reached home lie threw himself
on a htil in perplexity and feigning himself
asleep, studied the matter over in his mind.
His wife thinking this a good opportunity
for cutting off the obnoxious hair, took her
husband's razor and crept softly to his side.
Now, the old lad} was much frightened at
holding a iazor so close to her husband's
neck, and her hand was not so steady as it
once was ; so between the two, she went
to work very awkwardly, and pulled the
hairs, instead of cutting them off. Blue
ford opened his eyes, and there stood his
wife with a razor at his throat. After what
had been told him and seeing this, he could
nut doubt but that she intended to murder
him. He sprang from the bed in horror,
and no explanation or entreaty could con
vince him to the contrary. So from that
time there was jaw, jaw, quarreling and
wrangling all the time.
With delight the devil heard of the suc
cess of the faithful emissary, and sent her
word if she would meet him at the end of
the lane, at a certain time, he would pay
her the shoes. At the appointed time she
repaired to the spot, and found the devil at
the place, lie put the shoes on a pole, and
standing on the opposite side of the feme,
handed them over to her. She was much
pleased with them—they were exactly the
article.
" But there is one thing', Mr. Devil, 1
would like to have explained ; that is, why
you hand them to me 011 a stiek ?"
" Very easy to explain," replied he, "any
one who has the cunning and meanness to
do as you have done, don't get nearer than
twenty feet of iuv' So saying, he tied in
terror.
After a while the old woman died and
when she applied for admission to the low
er regions the devil would not let her in,for
fear she might dethrone him, as she was so
much his superior. So the old woman is
yet condemned to wander over the world,
creating quarrels and strife in peaceful
families and neighborhoods.
Would you know her name ?
It is Madam Scandal. When she died
the young Scandals were left orphans, but
the devil, in consideration of past services
done by* the mother, adopted them ; and so
you see he is father to that respectable
class called seam/al-mongerx.
Reader, don't you know some of the fam
ily ?
"STITTERINUREX," who was toasting his
shins, observing that the oil merchant was cheat
ing a customer in some oil,called out to him, "Jim,
I can tell you how to s-sell t-twice as much oil as
you d-do now." "Well,how?" groaned Jim. "F-ftll
vour measure."