0 DOLLAR PER ANNUM, INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE.
TOWANDA:
£bnrssan fllornino, 3n!n 30, 1857.
SMertcb |)ortrn.
THE LAST FOOTFALL.
Thorv is often sadness in the tone,
Aud a moisture in the eye,
And a trembling sorrow in the voice,
When we bid a last good bye,
Js,:t sadder far than this, I ween,
O sadder far than all.
Is the heart-throb with which we strain
To catch the la.-t footfall.
■jV i>re<s of a loving hand
Will cause a thrill of pain
When we think. •• Oh. should it prove that we
shall never meet again."
Ami is mgeringlv the hands unclasp.
The hot. .juick drops will full;
But itter are the tears we shed
When we hear the last tootfall.
We never felt how dear to its
Was the sound we loved full well,
We never knew hote musical,
T;i! its last echo fell.
And till we heard it pass away
Far. far beyond recall.
We never thought what griei 'twould be
To hear that Last footfall.
And years and days that long are passed.
And the scenes, that teemed fonrot.
Rash throach the mind like meteor light
As we linger on the spot :
Ana ltd things that were as nought,
iut now will be our all,
i me to us like an echo low
Of last, the !a-t footfall!
01 ist cll anfo ns.
Subtlety vs. Strength—Spider Against
Snake.
\ or r.iio.ry looking spider, of a dark color.
- ody not larger than that ot a common
- riy, had Taken np its residence, it appears
under side of a shelf, beneath the eoun
: Mr. Charles Cook's store. Havana. Che
ng To., X V , last summer. What may
>;oese was the surprise aire consternation
':!..> little animal on discovering a snake,
it a foot ioag selecting for its abode the
* underneath, only twe- or three spaas dis
from its nest. It was a common miik
which, perhaps had been brought into
- store unseen iu a quantity of sawdust.
•th which the floor had been recently "cwr
" The spider was well aware, no doubt.
J: it would inevitably fall a prey to this lior
; : v .i-:er the first time it should uneantieas
vcutnre within its reach. We should ex- j
that to avoid such a frightful doom, it
. ; forsake its present abode and seek a
-.*? secure retreat e l sew here. But it is uot
a; . that a brood of its eggs or young
secreted near the spot. which the p&-
"v.it brsaw would fall a prey to this monster if
w * re abandoned by their natural guardian
w&i protector. We can conceive of no other
> live win h aha rid have induced the apider
j- or naciousiy to remain and defend the par
s' —: cot at ;'\o eminent ri*k of her own life
- e so easily could have del and estab
; ' ersrif some secure corner elsewhere
v. we may well ask. was it jvossible tor
r - a weak tender little creature to combat
ap verfai mail-clad giant ?
I b .it poser had sie to do anything to sub
l ' ' f a.AustiT to eveu the slightest incouve i
f-ee ■: molestation t Her ordinary resort
I it of fettering and binding her victim by
-*.*mg her threads of cobweb around it.
_■ s pia;.i. wocid be of no more avail here
I -: the corns B|OQ the l.inh* of the unshorn
wiui-sou Aware that her accustomed mode '
I i'lack was useless, now she did acquire the j
pwhdge n i ngacty req rib for devising
'- r adapted so exactly to the case in
I : —one depending upon the strucntre and
11. :.* of the serpent to aid :a rendering it 1
w essful ? llow was si.e abie to perceive
I t was in her power to wind a loop of her
1* id around the creature.* throat. despite of
-•:r endeavors to foil her in this work—u
_' sufficient strength to bold b;;u secureiv i
: standing his strugg.ings and wr.t..-
P*"* -j" 1 - by her tackle like power she could '
I' 1" - - y h ->t h.m up from the door, th s ;
i -t..y ranging him by the neck until he was
■ ::r this was the feat which this
J- : i e heroine actus y performed a
■ et lei \ iek ail the fabled exploits of!
- % u overpowering lious. and serpents,
r* -- ■ siuw into utter ias.gnificaoce ! !
*ix> cgn say that tn the planuiog and |
I® - c: ts.s >tapeadoas achievement there
foret ugh*. reasoning, a careful
- a. the difficulties and dangers, and
■ n in Tic rniud of this little •
'.'-at she possessed tie ability to ao !
■ ~ oadertorit: in short an ex-:
■ w " * i tigs of a much higher order than
■ - . ■ t which u> cotnaonly supposed '
■' : - *-E g. vern tacse iower an.aiais in
rn* E res* aU *
■"
I •- i 4 '-ta-x to accomplish w hat it did.
I - r ec lecture, as its work was not
. - --Ul *.hc most difficult and daring
•t- teat had been perfvwmed. When
I : -ui ;aced a loop around the neck
"ften; . from the top of wldcit a siagie
I ' -rr o: up ard and attached to the
| -e .f the she if. waereuv the head
j iT". .* - • drawn up about two inches
M- •' The snake WAS moving around
■ - n> > ssaauj tn a csrnr as large as
I - d a..ow. waot'y unable to get
" * B 03 the dx>r or to witadmw it
: -Vse. w. be the heroic Lttie spider.
[ , " -to; a the success of its exploit
hi Zk ' w sur * bcyood a peradvcc.ure. I
I - .l f 4: 03 down to the loop sad
tia,s -thereby an additiooal
t. b". ", -"rrao, each ot" which BOW strands
I "*• y draws, e'evated ;de hFnd of tee
THE BRADFORD REPORTER.
But the most curious and skillful part of its
performance is yet to be told. When it was
iu the act of running down the thread to the
loop, the reader trill perceive it was possible
for the snake, by turning his head vertically
upward, to snap at and seize the spider in its
mouth. This had no doubt been repeatedly
attempted iu the earlier part of the conflict ;
but instead of catching the spider, his snake
ship thereby bad only caught himself in an ad
ditional trap. The spider probably by watch
ing each additioual opportunity when themoath
of the suake had thus beeu turned toward her
hind legs, was then throwing a thread around
a fly, had thrown one thread after another
over the mouth of the snake, so that he was
uow perfectly muzzled by a series of threads
placed over it vertically, aud these were held
horn being pushed asunder by another series
of threads placed horizontally i as my informaut
states he particularly observed. No muzzle of
wire or wicker for the month of an animal
could be woveu with more artistic regularity
aud perfection ; and the occtisionally making
a desperate attempt to open his mouth, would
merely put these threads upon a stretch.
The snake contiuued his gyrations, his gait
becoming more slow, however" from weakness
and fatigue ; aud the spider continued to move
down and up the cord, gradually shortening it,
until at last, when drawn up so far that onlv
two or three inches of the end of his tail touch
ed the floor, the snake expired about sir davs
after he was first discovered.
A more heroic feat than that which this littb
spider performed, is probably nowhere upou
record—a suake a foot in length hung bv a
common house-spider ! Truly, the race is not
to the swift, uor as the battle* to the strong !
And this phenoinouen may serve to indicate to
us that the iuteliigeuce with which the Creator
has endowed the humbled, feeblest, of his
creatures, is ample for enabling them to tri
umph in any emergency in which He places
them, if they bat exercise the faculties lie has
giveu them. It is only the slothful, cowardly,
umerous, that fail, and they fail not so much
before their enemies as before their own su
pineuess.—lla 'per's 3Taga zine.
No USE FOR TROWSEBS. —Ou the morning of
the meteoric shower in 1*33, Old Peyton Rob
err*. who inteuded making an early start to
hi* work, got up in the midst of the display.—
On going to his door, he saw with amazement,
the sky lighted up with the falling meteors,
and Le concluded at once at the world was on
fire, and that the day of Judgment had
come.
He stood for a moment gazing in speechless
terror at the soeue. and then with a yell of
horror spraug oat of the door into the yard,
right into the mid>t of the falling stars, aud
here in hi* effort to dodge them he comtnened
a series of ground tumbling that would have
done honor to a TOJMJ daueer. His wife been
awakened ia meantime, and seeing old Peyton
jumping aud skipping about iu the yard, called
oat t > know what ia the name o' seuse he was
Join' cut thar. dancing 'rour.d without hi*
clothes. Bat Peyton heard uot —the judg
ment. and long back account he would have to
settle, ma le him heedless of all terrestial
thing*, and his wife by this time becoming
alarmed at his behavior, sprang out of bed
and running to the door, shrieking to the top
of her lungs—
" Peyton, 1 say Peyton, what do yon mean,
jumping about out thar? Conic iu aud put
your trowsers on."
Old Peyton, whose fears had near overpow
ered him, faiutly answered as he fell sprawling
on the earth—
" Trowsers. Peggy ! what the U—lis the
use o' trowsers wheu the world'sa fire."
>
How HE MARRIED THFM OFF —A thriving
traicr in Wisconsin, claiming the paieruity of
eleven daughter*, greatly to the astonishment
i of his neighbors, succeeded in marrying them
all off in six months. A neighbor of his, who
: had likewise several single daughters, called
I upon hirx
" I should like to know friend." ho said,
"your secret of ready husband making witbjsuch
success."
" Pooh I" said the other, "no secret a: all.
I make it a rule after a young man has paid
attention to one of my girls a fortnight, to call
11-OU him with a revolver, and civilly ask him
to ci ocse between death and matrimony!—
You may imagine" cootinued he, "which if the
two they preferred !"
Very civil questioa. indeed, and ao mittens
j at all in the ease.
m
UaT "Hie officer of the deck on board a man
\ of-war. a*ked the mac at the wheel one day.
How does she be bead ?" 1: was blowing a
gale of wiad.
Southayst." replied Tat. teaching hi* hat,
j but forgetting to add sir. to his aa**er.
" You'd better put a few more S's in your
answers w hen oou speak to me," said the baffy
Leu tenant,
' Aye, aye, Sr-r-r-r," returned the witty
Irishman.
A day or two after. ?£e officer called out
again "llow does she head now V
So ithayst and be socth. half south and a
a iiu.e southerly, sir-ree, your hoooc, sir,"
screamed Fa;
A FITTING RESTXE. —Having to my youth
notions of severe piety says a celebrated Per
sian writer. I used rise in the night to wxtch.
pray and read the Koran. Oae tight as I
was. engaged iu these exercises, EST father, a
maa uf practical virtue, awoke while I was
readiug "Behold, said Ito htm. "thy other
children are lost in irreligious slumber, while I
ak ae wake to praise God " "See of my <ocl. r
he answered nt ;* better to sleep than to wake
to remark tue faults of thy bretheru "
j&a?" ' Seal: we take a "bus" up Broad
wj ?a;d a ycang New Yorker, who wis
showing his country cousin the wonders of
the ci'.r •• Oh dear, no !" said *be frgbt
[ rri c . I ;_it ,g rrr *ret::
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., BY E. O'MEARA GOODRICH.
The Female Bpy.
At the time General Howe landed upon
fetaten Island with a well-appointed army under
his command, with the object of wresting
from the Americans possession of the City of
New York, there was, in a neighboring town of
New Jersey, a young lady—a young girl, we
might say, tor she coald not have seen more
than sixteen summers—who was eminently dis
tinguished for ber beauty, taleuts, wit, vivacity
aud all those striking characteristics which, in
a female, please aud fascinate the opposite sex,
and win her admirers amoDg the old and young.
She was the daughter of a Major Moncrieffe,
of the British Engineer Corps, and her gifted
mind gave evidence ot the lavish expenditure
which his affectum had induced him to make
to secure to her a brilliant education. The
occupation of Staten Island necessarily brought
the war into her immediate vicinity, and the
neighboring towns on the Jersey shore having
become uusafe as a place ot "residence, she
adopted the plan of appealing to General
, Putuam for protection. The General sent
; for her under his own individual guardianship,
aud while he remained in New York she con
tinued to be a member of his family.
: Here she passed the time, in companv with
Mrs. Putuam and her daughters in spinning
and weaving clothing for "American soldiers
The battle of Long Island, and the subsequent 1
retreat of Washington and his army from the
city, caused a change iu the aspect of affairs,
and we find her soou afterward at the house' !
1 of a Mr. Wood, near Peekskill, ou the Hudson
River. The advent of such an accomplished !
and beautiful creature as Miss Monrrieffe j
could not be otherwise than a subject of iu
; terest to the residents of PeekskilJ and its
Vicinity, und she soon became the centre of'
attraction of a brilliant circle of beaux, among I
whom were a number of the officers attached ■■
to the American army in the neighborhood.
Although at heart a bitter uncompromising
Royalist, Miss Mouerieffe managed so ad
mirably to conceal that fact, and lead those
about her to believe that she entertained the
warmest feelings of interest in, and earned
desire for, the success o! the American cause,
that none hesitated to converse before her
regarding the plans ai d operations of A men- j
cans without the last reserve. She took ad
vantage of this fact to get hold of important
information, which she was in the habit of
transmitting to General Ilowe, through the
} means of a poor wretch who served as a con
venient instrument in her nefarious plans.
Being a splendid equestrienne, it was eastomarv
with her to ride along the banks of the Hudson
in pleasant weather; aud she seized these op
portuuties to commuuieate with her messeuger
aud, through him. with the British commander.
At regular intervals she would ride down the
road. and. at a spot where it passed through a
wood, she would stop, as though upon some '
ordinary occasion, and hum a bar of some tune
agreed upon. In a moment after, the bead,
followed by the shoulders and body of a man.
would emerge from the dense nuderbush ; and
while, he pushed back the leaves with one
hand, the other was held out to receive the
missive which he knew was pre{ared for him.
In this way the English General received much
valuable information, and so secretly and dis- ,
erect was it mauaged that the Americans never
once suspected that their fair enchantress was
the spy to whose activity and efficiency thev
owed the frustration of many of their plans.
Accident at length unveiled ber duplicity and
crime. On one occasion, as she was taking
her accustomed ride down the road, her horse
was startled at the barking of a dog which
darted out from yard which she was passing,
and shyed to the opposite side so suddenly
as to throw ber to the ground with violence.
The f- males i a the house, who had witnes-ei
the accident, ran ont. took her tenderly np in
their arm*, and conveyed ber within doors,
while the man went in pursuit of a horse.
The force with which she had falieu had ren
dered her insensible, and she was laid upon a
bed. whiie every means at the command of
her nurses was used for her resuscitation.
Anxious to give her a freer resjwratioD. one
of them opened the front of her riding habit,
aud, as she d.d so. a letter dropped from that
receptacle cp-">n the floor It was picked up
and placed upon the table without exciting
curio-ity. At this moment the mau returned
to the house, and in a :*e v moments the young
lady began to recover her consciousness. I'poo
being fully restored ami seeing strange faces
a'xmt hr. she started up and -e'ze! the open
laps of her rest, while horror and dismay were
*trong!y depicted upoa her countenance as
she discovered that the missive it ha<i lieii
was gone. In tone which gave evidence of
the most excite! feelings, she asked for the
letter. Que of the females t<y>k i: up. and
was about to hand it to ber. when the man.
whose suspicious were aroused by her man
aer, took it from her. and finding that it was
directed to New York,he r* fused to let her have
it. Her earnest entreaties on'y served to
strengthen his doubts that a!! vts not right,
and. notwithstanding her threats and offers of
rewards, he resolutely determined not o de
liver op the important document. Finding
ail ber efforts for its recovery unavailable, the
young woman readjusted her dress.mounted her
horse, and returned to Mr Wood's, where sht
made immediate preparations to take ber de
parture for the city. Fate was against her, how
ever. as the farmer Lad hastened with the
suspicious missive to headquarters ; a party of
soldiers rode up to the house soon after, and
the officer in command informed her that she
was a prisoner Without giving her time to
destroy or secrete her papers, she was removed
to the opposite side of the river, vnere she was
securely guarded until her case could receive
the attention of higher authority M*. an while,
her trunk* and effects were carefully searched,
aud gave the strongest evidence of ber gu.it.
Several papers relating to military matters
were found, and the letter wmeh had caused
her arrest proved to coo tarn tzponaut icfor
mauoa relative to the soveaeat oi the
Americas army Aac as if to pace her coc
vkiXK bemod pcradTeitsre the me.-jerger
•vsom inf had crc'.r-Te~ irresgv-d sgv us-
" RECARDLESS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER "
her at her examination. Hearing of her arrest
and learing that his connection with her might
affect the welfare of his family, he resolved to
offer his evidence, in hopes" that it might
mitigate, if it did not avert his own punish
ment.
Her examination presented a scene worthy
the pencil of the most accomplished artist ;
and affording, as it does, the subject of a stri
king and exceeding graphic picture, it is earn
estly to be desired that it may one day live
upon canvas, to depict for future generation
au interesting episode iu the " Domestic His
tory of the Revolution." Although ber guilt
was self-evident, yet the question of her pun
ishment was one difficult of solution. A gibbet
and a rope would have beeu the fate of one of
the opposite sex ; but to punish iu this man
ner a delicate aud highly accomplished female
—and one, too, possessed of the attainments
and accomplishments of Miss Mouerieffe, was
too revolting to humanity to be entertained
for a moment. The solution was made easy
by the earnest appeal in her behalf of her rel
atives and highly influential friends in New
York. She was carefully conducted under a
flag to the British lines, where she was deliv
ered into the bauds of her father's friends.—
She subsequently went to England, where she
spent the rest of her life, and although for a
time she moved in the first society, yet the
qualities of her heart were not calculated to
make her path in life a happy or pleasant one,
and we naturally anticipate the fact that her
end was amid all the surronudings of poverty
and disgrace. The tretuiherous messenger who
had aided in her crime, and iu the hour of ber
trial had turned upon her iu hopes to seccre
his own escape, was imprisoned for a long pe
riod, but whether he suffered a severer pun
ishment is not recorded.
SHY YOUTH —"Everything i* arranged for
your marriage with Susan Tompkin*," said a
father to his only son; "1 hope you will behave
yourself like a man, Thomas."
Ihe individual addressed was a young man
seated in a chair, despatching a piece of bread
and molasses. Hi* only answer was a sigh
accompanied by a flood of tears.
The parent started, and in an angry voice
demanded:
"What objections can you have? Susan t<
haudsome and wealthy, and married you must
lie, sometimes or other Your mother and I
were married, and it is my comaad that you
prepare yourself for your nuptials.
"Yes," finally sobbed Thomas, "that's a
different thing. You married mother, but I'm
sent away to marry a si range gal . r *
DO'TMIND WHAT HE SAYS.—A certain
Judge while attending Court in a shire towD.
wa* passing along the road where a bov was iost
letting down the bars to drive in some cattle
iu. llis father stood in the door of his home,
on the opposite ef the road, and seeing what
his hopeful boy was doing, bawled out ; "John
don't you drive them cattle in there. I told vou
to put them in the pasture behind the bouse."
The boy took no notice whatever of the re
monstrance, and his father repeated the order
in a louder tone, without the Last effect—
and a thin! time gave positive orders not to
drive the cattle in there. The sou didn't even
deign to look np. and disobeyed the parenta]
injunction with a coolness which positivelv
>bocked the Judge, who, looking at the cul
prit, said, in a tone of official dignity.
" Boy, don't you hear your father" speaking
to voa."
" Oh, ya-a-*," replied the yoath, casting a
glance at the Judge, and then at the pareut.
"bnt I dou't mind what he *ays. Mother don't
neither, and "twist she aud I, we've got the
dog so ke don't."
A GERMAN CELEBRATE* THE F.-FRTH. —At
Buffalo a German, intending to celebrate the
morning of the fourth in a becoming mauuer,
placed a hogshead in front of his house the
the night before, and at day-light lit half a
dozen packs of f.re-eraekers and threw them
in the hogshead, whiie half a dozen voting
Dnndfrrspiaff* stood around to watch the effect.
A scattering explosion was heard, a veil, and
Ihe next moment a ragged k>3fer, wh had
'■ecu s.eepmg in the hogshead all night, ?prar.g
forth all in flame*, and before the iittie Dan
dersplaffs could even raise a yell, pitched into
the old Dandereplaff and gave I im a tremen
dous licking. Duodersplaff kept iu a dark
room the balance of the day, with a piece of
raw beefsteak over both eyes, and a piece of
brown paper, wet with whiskey over Lis nose
IV-CSTRI -RS HAElT* —Teach your children
to be industrious. It is the be*t prevcr.tat'vc
to crime, the best guardian to Tirtue Head
the histories of the hundreds who fill our pr.soG*
and learn that, idleness was the chief cause of
their ru : n Yooog men of industrious habits
are seldom found in the sinks of pollution—
d -gracing themselves or their parent The
increase of crime among c* is chiefly caused
by the iLst&ste of honest labor. If we would
preserve the generation from three sins and
vice* which degrade the present times. lean
them gxd trades, and bring them up to cood
and indutrioos habits Idleness, late hour*, a
disregard of the Sabbath, drink and ;ae
of obscene sheets are causing the ruin of tud
liocs.
Brilliant thoughts are often slow m
the r formation, like the diamond Thomas
Moore wis freqaeoFy occupied three weeks in
writing a seme Ttseodore Hook often took
about the same Ltoe to perpetrate an ><&-
prompt a. acd Sheridan was frequently a whole
day in getting up a joke, which was supposed
by some to be aa Inspiration of the moment
Neither of these great men would hare been
worth a eg on a daily paper, where the editor
wr.tes as he runs, and catc&es a thought on
the w.ng and transcxea it with a ncmectarj
ttccr jg of hi* gray gc-xse qai.i He dai y
eL tor has to tune no cudgel bis Irun for thoYs
cr ?- rc'lsh them wben they :c-m no ?! me *o
"ii- *Lv S-Agt i St~'t *? 'XL£ **. .T
The Mocking Bird of America.
Tlie American mocking bird is the prince of
all song-birds, benig altogether nnrivalled in
the extent aud variety of his vocal powers;
and besides the fullness and melody of his or
iginal notes, he has the faculty of imitating
the uotes of all other birds, from the humming
bird to the eagle. Pennant states that he
heard a caged one imitate the mewing of a
cat,{and the creaking of a sign iu high winds.
Burlington says, his jiipes come nearest to the
nightingale of any bird he ever heard. The
description, however, given by Wilson, in hi*
own inimitable manner, as far excels Pennant
and Harrington as the bird excels bis fellow
songsters. Wilson tells ns that the ease, ele
gance and rapidity of his movments, the an
imation of his eye, and the intelligence he dis- |
plays in laying up lessons, mark the peculiarity 1
of his genius. His voice is full, strong and
musical, and capable of almost every modula
tion, from the clear and mellow tones of the
; wood thrush to the savage scream of the bald
j eagle. In measure and accents, he faithfully
| follows his originals, while in strength and
sweetness of expression, he greatly improves j
upon them. Iu his native woods, upon a :
dewy morning, his song rises above every
competitor, for the others apjienr merely as !
inferior accompaniments. His own notes are
bold aud full, and varied seemingly lieyond 1
all limits. They consist of short expressions of :
one, three, or at most five or six syllables, gen- I
erally nttertd with great emphasis and rapidity 1
and. continued with undiminished ardor for
: half an hour, or for an hoar at a time. While
singing, he expands his tail, glistening with
white, keeping time to his own music; and the
buoyant gaiety of his action is no less fascinating
than his song. He sweeps round with crT
thnsiastic ecstacv: he mount* and descends, as
his song swells or dies away; he bounds aloft
1 with the celerity of au arrow, as if to recorer
his very oul, expired iu the elevated strain.
A bystander might suppose that the whole
i feathered tribe had assemble together on a
trial of skill, each striving to produce the
utmost effect, so perfect are bis imitation*
He often deceives the j<ort*man, and even
birds themselves are sometimes imposed npon
|on this admirable mimic. Iu confinement, he
loses little of the power or energy of hi* sorur
He whistles for the dog; Ciesar starts np, j
wags his tail, and runs to meet his master.
He cries like a hurt chicken, and the hen hur
about with feathers on end to protect her
injured brood. He repeats the tune tnsht
him, though it be of considerable lemrth, with
perfeet accuracy. He runs over the notes of
the canary and the red bin! with sncli superior
execution and effect, that the mortified song
sters confess bis triumph by their immediate
silence. His fondness for variety, *ome sup
pose, injures his soug. His imitation of the
crowing of cocks, aud his exquisite warblinx*
after the blue bird are mingled with the
screaming of *wal!ows or the cackling of hens.
During moonlight, both in the wild and tame
state, he sin?v the whole night long. The
hunter*, in their nocturnal excursion*, know
that the moon is rising, the instant they hear
his delightful solo.
After Shakespeare, Harrington attributes,
iu part, the e.xquisiteness of the nightingale'*
song to the silence of the night: but if so.
what are we think of the bird which, in the
open giare ef day. overpowers and ofteu silenc
es all competition? The natural notes of the
American mo king bird are similar to those of
the brown thrush. —Arorßey.
MRS. PARTINGTON ON WEDDING*. —" I like
to 'tend wedding*." said Mrs. Partington, as
she came back from one ia chnrcb, aud hung up
her shawl, and replaced the bonnet in the long
pre*en ed bandbox. " I like to see yeans peo
ple come together with the promise to love,
cherish an ! nourish each other. But it is a
solemn thing, is matrimony—a verv solemn
thine:—where the niiri*ter comes into the
chancery with the surplus on and goes through
the ceremony of making them man and wife.
It ought to be husband and wife, fnr it i-m't
every ha-band that turn* out to be a man
I declare I never shall forget when Paul nut
on the nuptial ring on my finger ami said, "with
my goods I thee endow." He used to keep a
dry good* store then, and 1 thought he was
going to give the whole there was in it 1
was young and simple, aud didn't knew till
afterwards thai it meant only a calico dress
a year '*
AN OU MAN'S V:FE. —In the eighty fourth
year of hi* *ge. Dr Calvin Ciapin wrv>te to hi.
wife : " My domes? c enjoyaK its have been
perhaps, as ner perfection as the uumjn coa
d.tioa permit*. Sue tuade my home the p'ea*-
antest spot to me on earth. And now
she is gone, my worldly loss is perfect."
How many a poor fellow t*> saved
from suicide, from the penitentiary and toe
gaiiow* every year, had he been biexsed w.ib
such a wife.
" bbe made borne the pieasaate-t spot to
me on earth " \Yu*t a grand trbote to thai
voniio't love and piety, aud common >er*e ?
Rather different aas toe testimony of an c-iu
man some tnree year* ago, ast before be wa
hang in the Toczba yard of this city. " I did
not intend to kisi my wife, bat she was a very
aggravating woman." Let each wie inquire.
" which am I ?'*—Emr*
HAUTT: —;o one of his br.ittaE? e-say*
of certain very testy do-gtEAtisrs who are rot
less common tew than in his da*\ that yoa
may hear one of these Qu xotic d<viaio-r*
pleading the cause o: humanity ua a Toiee of
thunder or expatiating ou the bean'y of a
Guide w.th :'eaares distorted w-,;h
scort: !
PRETTY GOOC —AS Irish ggl WBC bad re
oeat'y landed in New York, acd had been
hed in a splec-Ld macaioa of tie F.?hh ARE
cne. was observed by tire lady of the house to
come down the stag-are Upon
be.ng asked the reasoc tf *n m>ie of retr>
gresci-.c Bidfy auswtre.-- Lar* bless
i T t i rear* tuar ■"*" ttciud sc.!-."
VOL. XVIII. —NO. 8.
Terrific Aocidents on the Fourth.
I>enuis Bulgrtrddery, in consequence of fir
ing ofl' Chinese crackers in bis teeth, had the
corner of his nose blown to flinters, and four
teeth transferred from Lis lower juw to the roof
of his mouth.
Jenkins, being absent-minded, put his light
ed " punk" iuto his coat pocket, instead of his
knife, said pocket containing one-quarter pound
of |>owder. Beult—the enii.-e basement
blown out of his pants, and an indisposition to
sit down, except upon Lis stomach, beiugprev
aleni ever since.
Vandickerslop went to look into a sre crack
er. to see if it Lad gout off, when it exploded,
putting one eye in darkness forever, and act
ting Lis whisker on fire. Taken to the hospi
tal.
Several young men carelessly played with
loaded bottles, towards evening. The bottle
exploded with a crash. Three of them were
injured in the throat, one in head, and the
other in the stomach. They were taken home
on she iters by four gentlemen of Irish persu
asion, with short sticks.
I)under-p!aff intended to celebrate in a brill
iant rranuer, in the Fifth ward. So he placed
a hogshead in front of his house the night be
fore, and in uiorniug at day-break lit half a
dozeu packs of fire crackers aud threw them
in the hogshead, while half a dozen young
Dundtrsplaffs stood around, to watch the ef
fect. A scattering ex plosion was heard, then
a yell, aud the next moment a ragged loafer,
who had been sleeping in the hogshead all
night sprang forth all in flames and before the
little Duuder-piafTs could even raise a yell,
pitched into old I>ander a p!aff, aud gave him a
terrible lickiug. Dundersplaff kept in a dark
room the rest part of the day, with a piece of
raw beefsteak over both eyes, and a piece of
brown pa{a.r, wcjt with whiskey, over his nose.
How llr. IJO<T HIS II UR —A Norfolk pa
[>er tells the following -rory :
I r; O-good and Jonathan Aiken were on
op;osite sides of j>clitics la.t fall, Grundy
county, and the fight between them—tbcV
were rui:ai;i_r for Congress—grew warm and
despera'e. One day, when they ntet on the
-tump, Uri, who-e head was bald, and should
thert-tcre have been cooler, in the midst of bis
indignation, turned njon Jonathan, and said :
" I think, sir. you have but one idea in your
head, and that is a very small one, if it should
swell, it would burst it.' f
\\ hereat Jonathan grew red in the face, and
looking for a moment at the bare and vener
able head of his opponent, asked if be should
what he thought of him ?
" Say on.'' said Uri.*'
" W ell, I think you hava't one in your head
and never had. There's been one scratching
around on the outside, tryiug to get in, till it
has scratched all the hair off : but it*s n: ver
got in. and never will.''
Uri was silent.
IHE DARE DAY UF 17>U. —The phenomeooa
of the dt.rk day which occurred in the greater
part of New England and Canada, ia May,
17*0, we would inform a correspondent had
never been fully explained. It occurred ou
the 19th of this month. For several days
previously the atmosphere apjiearcd to be
charged witis a dry smoky vnp>r, o that the
Sun could scarcely be viewed with the naked
eye. At 10 o'clock in the morning the dark
ness had iucreased to such a degree as to im
pede regular transactions of business. Beta ecu
half-past twelve and one, it approached its
height. Ordinary business was whoily sospen
■ ded, ai.o many j>eop!e began tu
i think that the last day Lad really come, aaU
! to fall u|ion their knees and pray lustily for
j forgiveness. Ihe darkness continued to in
! crease and the excitement waged higher.
j YY hatever was doue was dooe by caadfc-ligbi
though at noonday. Fowls sought their roosts
I • attic retired as at night, and many c*vi and
■ intelligent jxx>j !e began to th;nk tilings veto
■ getting to !>e rather gloomy. About otic
[ o'clock the wind, which had fx.en at rioulu
east. changed to lite Southwest. the darkness
began gradually to Suoin<sh % amiat two o'clock
HLiu, beast, and fowl we;* about again. A
very little rain had fallen in the mcruing.
During the whole time the air had a soorjr
-nioky smell, w ileo was aho communicated to
the ra.n water that was saved, The supposed
(•u>eof tii i strange phenoiaenoo was so< >-
I'<os i to be vj.>: fire-, hi:ii were known la
i* rag.ug II iat forests, ;u s.eae parts of lLa
couatry.
i". ere had Iveo DO Millers about b fore the
lark day came u;-vu the people of the Kasteru
ts-*as a u r pro. ev'e- had i*-r ruade hen e
i w ■i. refer, vto :w coming oi the judgatent
boor. Ilcwever. t ere was as we have hinted
the greate-t psssibie trepidation; ohi geu
tieiaaa told u-, once * hen talking about it,
that he every moment expected to hear tr
-ound of the dreadful trump. It tame not. the
world >tlH ro - open its axts, when to stop, a
only known by the creat Creator himself.
A S fc\s NT IV** TV TFT HrTT?—ln tit*
•- *ty •'•? t't*?* *i>a 'irtf sadits j?
*t'tei w tit r ; th* waii of tV oM th^atr* 1
TV >: ha<i *hrvn
r hf d.:*c'c ~* ; rof th* r!a* t* ?©h# *r
'i* fatal r >t" **i pniotd at '3
~ f.;"3 th* h>:s* *1- wrr- i~Ht or> to the
•ctps* <-i rt ali *a? ti!! *> ftt'i
At th"> r.vj'r, *>£ r 1 hi;jV*" r**p*"ta
■ r 7j,- • • .- K i a'-v* R'y;
tb* r-ro of *> pt>toi. "while r,u r? sat i *
J-, i h- Wj, %ib- tvaf* trA % tbatrh
thnat !c*oacb ar. a?d
Mr D:?7 Mr T f z *- dc-c't ihcoi
*• .!t 'l-! Tt'" Ft* !t,V| ak* dens**
.V-!" .'4/ 'j •"'{• r" . - *
Tte r; dicc't explode. bet the *2d;*s *
did Dt? bet tb* cooldc t
* ZT"
*s*a to 1 i: *:-;.=-
pl*fc*c way of "ocvts is t: =*"• y
ace; :* :ri?—.-rs * ati
*: *:?_ icqnalzU--*