0 DOLLAR PER ANNUM, INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. TOWANDA: £bnrssan fllornino, 3n!n 30, 1857. SMertcb |)ortrn. THE LAST FOOTFALL. Thorv is often sadness in the tone, Aud a moisture in the eye, And a trembling sorrow in the voice, When we bid a last good bye, Js,:t sadder far than this, I ween, O sadder far than all. Is the heart-throb with which we strain To catch the la.-t footfall. ■jV i>re<s of a loving hand Will cause a thrill of pain When we think. •• Oh. should it prove that we shall never meet again." Ami is mgeringlv the hands unclasp. The hot. .juick drops will full; But itter are the tears we shed When we hear the last tootfall. We never felt how dear to its Was the sound we loved full well, We never knew hote musical, T;i! its last echo fell. And till we heard it pass away Far. far beyond recall. We never thought what griei 'twould be To hear that Last footfall. And years and days that long are passed. And the scenes, that teemed fonrot. Rash throach the mind like meteor light As we linger on the spot : Ana ltd things that were as nought, iut now will be our all, i me to us like an echo low Of last, the !a-t footfall! 01 ist cll anfo ns. Subtlety vs. Strength—Spider Against Snake. \ or r.iio.ry looking spider, of a dark color. - ody not larger than that ot a common - riy, had Taken np its residence, it appears under side of a shelf, beneath the eoun : Mr. Charles Cook's store. Havana. Che ng To., X V , last summer. What may >;oese was the surprise aire consternation ':!..> little animal on discovering a snake, it a foot ioag selecting for its abode the * underneath, only twe- or three spaas dis from its nest. It was a common miik which, perhaps had been brought into - store unseen iu a quantity of sawdust. •th which the floor had been recently "cwr " The spider was well aware, no doubt. J: it would inevitably fall a prey to this lior ; : v .i-:er the first time it should uneantieas vcutnre within its reach. We should ex- j that to avoid such a frightful doom, it . ; forsake its present abode and seek a -.*? secure retreat e l sew here. But it is uot a; . that a brood of its eggs or young secreted near the spot. which the p&- "v.it brsaw would fall a prey to this monster if w * re abandoned by their natural guardian w&i protector. We can conceive of no other > live win h aha rid have induced the apider j- or naciousiy to remain and defend the par s' —: cot at ;'\o eminent ri*k of her own life - e so easily could have del and estab ; ' ersrif some secure corner elsewhere v. we may well ask. was it jvossible tor r - a weak tender little creature to combat ap verfai mail-clad giant ? I b .it poser had sie to do anything to sub l ' ' f a.AustiT to eveu the slightest incouve i f-ee ■: molestation t Her ordinary resort I it of fettering and binding her victim by -*.*mg her threads of cobweb around it. _■ s pia;.i. wocid be of no more avail here I -: the corns B|OQ the l.inh* of the unshorn wiui-sou Aware that her accustomed mode ' I i'lack was useless, now she did acquire the j pwhdge n i ngacty req rib for devising '- r adapted so exactly to the case in I : —one depending upon the strucntre and 11. :.* of the serpent to aid :a rendering it 1 w essful ? llow was si.e abie to perceive I t was in her power to wind a loop of her 1* id around the creature.* throat. despite of -•:r endeavors to foil her in this work—u _' sufficient strength to bold b;;u secureiv i : standing his strugg.ings and wr.t..- P*"* -j" 1 - by her tackle like power she could ' I' 1" - - y h ->t h.m up from the door, th s ; i -t..y ranging him by the neck until he was ■ ::r this was the feat which this J- : i e heroine actus y performed a ■ et lei \ iek ail the fabled exploits of! - % u overpowering lious. and serpents, r* -- ■ siuw into utter ias.gnificaoce ! ! *ix> cgn say that tn the planuiog and | I® - c: ts.s >tapeadoas achievement there foret ugh*. reasoning, a careful - a. the difficulties and dangers, and ■ n in Tic rniud of this little • '.'-at she possessed tie ability to ao ! ■ ~ oadertorit: in short an ex-: ■ w " * i tigs of a much higher order than ■ - . ■ t which u> cotnaonly supposed ' ■' : - *-E g. vern tacse iower an.aiais in rn* E res* aU * ■" I •- i 4 '-ta-x to accomplish w hat it did. I - r ec lecture, as its work was not . - --Ul *.hc most difficult and daring •t- teat had been perfvwmed. When I : -ui ;aced a loop around the neck "ften; . from the top of wldcit a siagie I ' -rr o: up ard and attached to the | -e .f the she if. waereuv the head j iT". .* - • drawn up about two inches M- •' The snake WAS moving around ■ - n> > ssaauj tn a csrnr as large as I - d a..ow. waot'y unable to get " * B 03 the dx>r or to witadmw it : -Vse. w. be the heroic Lttie spider. [ , " -to; a the success of its exploit hi Zk ' w sur * bcyood a peradvcc.ure. I I - .l f 4: 03 down to the loop sad tia,s -thereby an additiooal t. b". ", -"rrao, each ot" which BOW strands I "*• y draws, e'evated ;de hFnd of tee THE BRADFORD REPORTER. But the most curious and skillful part of its performance is yet to be told. When it was iu the act of running down the thread to the loop, the reader trill perceive it was possible for the snake, by turning his head vertically upward, to snap at and seize the spider in its mouth. This had no doubt been repeatedly attempted iu the earlier part of the conflict ; but instead of catching the spider, his snake ship thereby bad only caught himself in an ad ditional trap. The spider probably by watch ing each additioual opportunity when themoath of the suake had thus beeu turned toward her hind legs, was then throwing a thread around a fly, had thrown one thread after another over the mouth of the snake, so that he was uow perfectly muzzled by a series of threads placed over it vertically, aud these were held horn being pushed asunder by another series of threads placed horizontally i as my informaut states he particularly observed. No muzzle of wire or wicker for the month of an animal could be woveu with more artistic regularity aud perfection ; and the occtisionally making a desperate attempt to open his mouth, would merely put these threads upon a stretch. The snake contiuued his gyrations, his gait becoming more slow, however" from weakness and fatigue ; aud the spider continued to move down and up the cord, gradually shortening it, until at last, when drawn up so far that onlv two or three inches of the end of his tail touch ed the floor, the snake expired about sir davs after he was first discovered. A more heroic feat than that which this littb spider performed, is probably nowhere upou record—a suake a foot in length hung bv a common house-spider ! Truly, the race is not to the swift, uor as the battle* to the strong ! And this phenoinouen may serve to indicate to us that the iuteliigeuce with which the Creator has endowed the humbled, feeblest, of his creatures, is ample for enabling them to tri umph in any emergency in which He places them, if they bat exercise the faculties lie has giveu them. It is only the slothful, cowardly, umerous, that fail, and they fail not so much before their enemies as before their own su pineuess.—lla 'per's 3Taga zine. No USE FOR TROWSEBS. —Ou the morning of the meteoric shower in 1*33, Old Peyton Rob err*. who inteuded making an early start to hi* work, got up in the midst of the display.— On going to his door, he saw with amazement, the sky lighted up with the falling meteors, and Le concluded at once at the world was on fire, and that the day of Judgment had come. He stood for a moment gazing in speechless terror at the soeue. and then with a yell of horror spraug oat of the door into the yard, right into the mid>t of the falling stars, aud here in hi* effort to dodge them he comtnened a series of ground tumbling that would have done honor to a TOJMJ daueer. His wife been awakened ia meantime, and seeing old Peyton jumping aud skipping about iu the yard, called oat t > know what ia the name o' seuse he was Join' cut thar. dancing 'rour.d without hi* clothes. Bat Peyton heard uot —the judg ment. and long back account he would have to settle, ma le him heedless of all terrestial thing*, and his wife by this time becoming alarmed at his behavior, sprang out of bed and running to the door, shrieking to the top of her lungs— " Peyton, 1 say Peyton, what do yon mean, jumping about out thar? Conic iu aud put your trowsers on." Old Peyton, whose fears had near overpow ered him, faiutly answered as he fell sprawling on the earth— " Trowsers. Peggy ! what the U—lis the use o' trowsers wheu the world'sa fire." > How HE MARRIED THFM OFF —A thriving traicr in Wisconsin, claiming the paieruity of eleven daughter*, greatly to the astonishment i of his neighbors, succeeded in marrying them all off in six months. A neighbor of his, who : had likewise several single daughters, called I upon hirx " I should like to know friend." ho said, "your secret of ready husband making witbjsuch success." " Pooh I" said the other, "no secret a: all. I make it a rule after a young man has paid attention to one of my girls a fortnight, to call 11-OU him with a revolver, and civilly ask him to ci ocse between death and matrimony!— You may imagine" cootinued he, "which if the two they preferred !" Very civil questioa. indeed, and ao mittens j at all in the ease. m UaT "Hie officer of the deck on board a man \ of-war. a*ked the mac at the wheel one day. How does she be bead ?" 1: was blowing a gale of wiad. Southayst." replied Tat. teaching hi* hat, j but forgetting to add sir. to his aa**er. " You'd better put a few more S's in your answers w hen oou speak to me," said the baffy Leu tenant, ' Aye, aye, Sr-r-r-r," returned the witty Irishman. A day or two after. ?£e officer called out again "llow does she head now V So ithayst and be socth. half south and a a iiu.e southerly, sir-ree, your hoooc, sir," screamed Fa; A FITTING RESTXE. —Having to my youth notions of severe piety says a celebrated Per sian writer. I used rise in the night to wxtch. pray and read the Koran. Oae tight as I was. engaged iu these exercises, EST father, a maa uf practical virtue, awoke while I was readiug "Behold, said Ito htm. "thy other children are lost in irreligious slumber, while I ak ae wake to praise God " "See of my <ocl. r he answered nt ;* better to sleep than to wake to remark tue faults of thy bretheru " j&a?" ' Seal: we take a "bus" up Broad wj ?a;d a ycang New Yorker, who wis showing his country cousin the wonders of the ci'.r •• Oh dear, no !" said *be frgbt [ rri c . I ;_it ,g rrr *ret:: PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., BY E. O'MEARA GOODRICH. The Female Bpy. At the time General Howe landed upon fetaten Island with a well-appointed army under his command, with the object of wresting from the Americans possession of the City of New York, there was, in a neighboring town of New Jersey, a young lady—a young girl, we might say, tor she coald not have seen more than sixteen summers—who was eminently dis tinguished for ber beauty, taleuts, wit, vivacity aud all those striking characteristics which, in a female, please aud fascinate the opposite sex, and win her admirers amoDg the old and young. She was the daughter of a Major Moncrieffe, of the British Engineer Corps, and her gifted mind gave evidence ot the lavish expenditure which his affectum had induced him to make to secure to her a brilliant education. The occupation of Staten Island necessarily brought the war into her immediate vicinity, and the neighboring towns on the Jersey shore having become uusafe as a place ot "residence, she adopted the plan of appealing to General , Putuam for protection. The General sent ; for her under his own individual guardianship, aud while he remained in New York she con tinued to be a member of his family. : Here she passed the time, in companv with Mrs. Putuam and her daughters in spinning and weaving clothing for "American soldiers The battle of Long Island, and the subsequent 1 retreat of Washington and his army from the city, caused a change iu the aspect of affairs, and we find her soou afterward at the house' ! 1 of a Mr. Wood, near Peekskill, ou the Hudson River. The advent of such an accomplished ! and beautiful creature as Miss Monrrieffe j could not be otherwise than a subject of iu ; terest to the residents of PeekskilJ and its Vicinity, und she soon became the centre of' attraction of a brilliant circle of beaux, among I whom were a number of the officers attached ■■ to the American army in the neighborhood. Although at heart a bitter uncompromising Royalist, Miss Mouerieffe managed so ad mirably to conceal that fact, and lead those about her to believe that she entertained the warmest feelings of interest in, and earned desire for, the success o! the American cause, that none hesitated to converse before her regarding the plans ai d operations of A men- j cans without the last reserve. She took ad vantage of this fact to get hold of important information, which she was in the habit of transmitting to General Ilowe, through the } means of a poor wretch who served as a con venient instrument in her nefarious plans. Being a splendid equestrienne, it was eastomarv with her to ride along the banks of the Hudson in pleasant weather; aud she seized these op portuuties to commuuieate with her messeuger aud, through him. with the British commander. At regular intervals she would ride down the road. and. at a spot where it passed through a wood, she would stop, as though upon some ' ordinary occasion, and hum a bar of some tune agreed upon. In a moment after, the bead, followed by the shoulders and body of a man. would emerge from the dense nuderbush ; and while, he pushed back the leaves with one hand, the other was held out to receive the missive which he knew was pre{ared for him. In this way the English General received much valuable information, and so secretly and dis- , erect was it mauaged that the Americans never once suspected that their fair enchantress was the spy to whose activity and efficiency thev owed the frustration of many of their plans. Accident at length unveiled ber duplicity and crime. On one occasion, as she was taking her accustomed ride down the road, her horse was startled at the barking of a dog which darted out from yard which she was passing, and shyed to the opposite side so suddenly as to throw ber to the ground with violence. The f- males i a the house, who had witnes-ei the accident, ran ont. took her tenderly np in their arm*, and conveyed ber within doors, while the man went in pursuit of a horse. The force with which she had falieu had ren dered her insensible, and she was laid upon a bed. whiie every means at the command of her nurses was used for her resuscitation. Anxious to give her a freer resjwratioD. one of them opened the front of her riding habit, aud, as she d.d so. a letter dropped from that receptacle cp-">n the floor It was picked up and placed upon the table without exciting curio-ity. At this moment the mau returned to the house, and in a :*e v moments the young lady began to recover her consciousness. I'poo being fully restored ami seeing strange faces a'xmt hr. she started up and -e'ze! the open laps of her rest, while horror and dismay were *trong!y depicted upoa her countenance as she discovered that the missive it ha<i lieii was gone. In tone which gave evidence of the most excite! feelings, she asked for the letter. Que of the females t<y>k i: up. and was about to hand it to ber. when the man. whose suspicious were aroused by her man aer, took it from her. and finding that it was directed to New York,he r* fused to let her have it. Her earnest entreaties on'y served to strengthen his doubts that a!! vts not right, and. notwithstanding her threats and offers of rewards, he resolutely determined not o de liver op the important document. Finding ail ber efforts for its recovery unavailable, the young woman readjusted her dress.mounted her horse, and returned to Mr Wood's, where sht made immediate preparations to take ber de parture for the city. Fate was against her, how ever. as the farmer Lad hastened with the suspicious missive to headquarters ; a party of soldiers rode up to the house soon after, and the officer in command informed her that she was a prisoner Without giving her time to destroy or secrete her papers, she was removed to the opposite side of the river, vnere she was securely guarded until her case could receive the attention of higher authority M*. an while, her trunk* and effects were carefully searched, aud gave the strongest evidence of ber gu.it. Several papers relating to military matters were found, and the letter wmeh had caused her arrest proved to coo tarn tzponaut icfor mauoa relative to the soveaeat oi the Americas army Aac as if to pace her coc vkiXK bemod pcradTeitsre the me.-jerger •vsom inf had crc'.r-Te~ irresgv-d sgv us- " RECARDLESS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER " her at her examination. Hearing of her arrest and learing that his connection with her might affect the welfare of his family, he resolved to offer his evidence, in hopes" that it might mitigate, if it did not avert his own punish ment. Her examination presented a scene worthy the pencil of the most accomplished artist ; and affording, as it does, the subject of a stri king and exceeding graphic picture, it is earn estly to be desired that it may one day live upon canvas, to depict for future generation au interesting episode iu the " Domestic His tory of the Revolution." Although ber guilt was self-evident, yet the question of her pun ishment was one difficult of solution. A gibbet and a rope would have beeu the fate of one of the opposite sex ; but to punish iu this man ner a delicate aud highly accomplished female —and one, too, possessed of the attainments and accomplishments of Miss Mouerieffe, was too revolting to humanity to be entertained for a moment. The solution was made easy by the earnest appeal in her behalf of her rel atives and highly influential friends in New York. She was carefully conducted under a flag to the British lines, where she was deliv ered into the bauds of her father's friends.— She subsequently went to England, where she spent the rest of her life, and although for a time she moved in the first society, yet the qualities of her heart were not calculated to make her path in life a happy or pleasant one, and we naturally anticipate the fact that her end was amid all the surronudings of poverty and disgrace. The tretuiherous messenger who had aided in her crime, and iu the hour of ber trial had turned upon her iu hopes to seccre his own escape, was imprisoned for a long pe riod, but whether he suffered a severer pun ishment is not recorded. SHY YOUTH —"Everything i* arranged for your marriage with Susan Tompkin*," said a father to his only son; "1 hope you will behave yourself like a man, Thomas." Ihe individual addressed was a young man seated in a chair, despatching a piece of bread and molasses. Hi* only answer was a sigh accompanied by a flood of tears. The parent started, and in an angry voice demanded: "What objections can you have? Susan t< haudsome and wealthy, and married you must lie, sometimes or other Your mother and I were married, and it is my comaad that you prepare yourself for your nuptials. "Yes," finally sobbed Thomas, "that's a different thing. You married mother, but I'm sent away to marry a si range gal . r * DO'TMIND WHAT HE SAYS.—A certain Judge while attending Court in a shire towD. wa* passing along the road where a bov was iost letting down the bars to drive in some cattle iu. llis father stood in the door of his home, on the opposite ef the road, and seeing what his hopeful boy was doing, bawled out ; "John don't you drive them cattle in there. I told vou to put them in the pasture behind the bouse." The boy took no notice whatever of the re monstrance, and his father repeated the order in a louder tone, without the Last effect— and a thin! time gave positive orders not to drive the cattle in there. The sou didn't even deign to look np. and disobeyed the parenta] injunction with a coolness which positivelv >bocked the Judge, who, looking at the cul prit, said, in a tone of official dignity. " Boy, don't you hear your father" speaking to voa." " Oh, ya-a-*," replied the yoath, casting a glance at the Judge, and then at the pareut. "bnt I dou't mind what he *ays. Mother don't neither, and "twist she aud I, we've got the dog so ke don't." A GERMAN CELEBRATE* THE F.-FRTH. —At Buffalo a German, intending to celebrate the morning of the fourth in a becoming mauuer, placed a hogshead in front of his house the the night before, and at day-light lit half a dozen packs of f.re-eraekers and threw them in the hogshead, whiie half a dozen voting Dnndfrrspiaff* stood around to watch the effect. A scattering explosion was heard, a veil, and Ihe next moment a ragged k>3fer, wh had '■ecu s.eepmg in the hogshead all night, ?prar.g forth all in flame*, and before the iittie Dan dersplaffs could even raise a yell, pitched into the old Dandereplaff and gave I im a tremen dous licking. Duodersplaff kept iu a dark room the balance of the day, with a piece of raw beefsteak over both eyes, and a piece of brown paper, wet with whiskey over Lis nose IV-CSTRI -RS HAElT* —Teach your children to be industrious. It is the be*t prevcr.tat'vc to crime, the best guardian to Tirtue Head the histories of the hundreds who fill our pr.soG* and learn that, idleness was the chief cause of their ru : n Yooog men of industrious habits are seldom found in the sinks of pollution— d -gracing themselves or their parent The increase of crime among c* is chiefly caused by the iLst&ste of honest labor. If we would preserve the generation from three sins and vice* which degrade the present times. lean them gxd trades, and bring them up to cood and indutrioos habits Idleness, late hour*, a disregard of the Sabbath, drink and ;ae of obscene sheets are causing the ruin of tud liocs. Brilliant thoughts are often slow m the r formation, like the diamond Thomas Moore wis freqaeoFy occupied three weeks in writing a seme Ttseodore Hook often took about the same Ltoe to perpetrate an ><&- prompt a. acd Sheridan was frequently a whole day in getting up a joke, which was supposed by some to be aa Inspiration of the moment Neither of these great men would hare been worth a eg on a daily paper, where the editor wr.tes as he runs, and catc&es a thought on the w.ng and transcxea it with a ncmectarj ttccr jg of hi* gray gc-xse qai.i He dai y eL tor has to tune no cudgel bis Irun for thoYs cr ?- rc'lsh them wben they :c-m no ?! me *o "ii- *Lv S-Agt i St~'t *? 'XL£ **. .T The Mocking Bird of America. Tlie American mocking bird is the prince of all song-birds, benig altogether nnrivalled in the extent aud variety of his vocal powers; and besides the fullness and melody of his or iginal notes, he has the faculty of imitating the uotes of all other birds, from the humming bird to the eagle. Pennant states that he heard a caged one imitate the mewing of a cat,{and the creaking of a sign iu high winds. Burlington says, his jiipes come nearest to the nightingale of any bird he ever heard. The description, however, given by Wilson, in hi* own inimitable manner, as far excels Pennant and Harrington as the bird excels bis fellow songsters. Wilson tells ns that the ease, ele gance and rapidity of his movments, the an imation of his eye, and the intelligence he dis- | plays in laying up lessons, mark the peculiarity 1 of his genius. His voice is full, strong and musical, and capable of almost every modula tion, from the clear and mellow tones of the ; wood thrush to the savage scream of the bald j eagle. In measure and accents, he faithfully | follows his originals, while in strength and sweetness of expression, he greatly improves j upon them. Iu his native woods, upon a : dewy morning, his song rises above every competitor, for the others apjienr merely as ! inferior accompaniments. His own notes are bold aud full, and varied seemingly lieyond 1 all limits. They consist of short expressions of : one, three, or at most five or six syllables, gen- I erally nttertd with great emphasis and rapidity 1 and. continued with undiminished ardor for : half an hour, or for an hoar at a time. While singing, he expands his tail, glistening with white, keeping time to his own music; and the buoyant gaiety of his action is no less fascinating than his song. He sweeps round with crT thnsiastic ecstacv: he mount* and descends, as his song swells or dies away; he bounds aloft 1 with the celerity of au arrow, as if to recorer his very oul, expired iu the elevated strain. A bystander might suppose that the whole i feathered tribe had assemble together on a trial of skill, each striving to produce the utmost effect, so perfect are bis imitation* He often deceives the j<ort*man, and even birds themselves are sometimes imposed npon |on this admirable mimic. Iu confinement, he loses little of the power or energy of hi* sorur He whistles for the dog; Ciesar starts np, j wags his tail, and runs to meet his master. He cries like a hurt chicken, and the hen hur about with feathers on end to protect her injured brood. He repeats the tune tnsht him, though it be of considerable lemrth, with perfeet accuracy. He runs over the notes of the canary and the red bin! with sncli superior execution and effect, that the mortified song sters confess bis triumph by their immediate silence. His fondness for variety, *ome sup pose, injures his soug. His imitation of the crowing of cocks, aud his exquisite warblinx* after the blue bird are mingled with the screaming of *wal!ows or the cackling of hens. During moonlight, both in the wild and tame state, he sin?v the whole night long. The hunter*, in their nocturnal excursion*, know that the moon is rising, the instant they hear his delightful solo. After Shakespeare, Harrington attributes, iu part, the e.xquisiteness of the nightingale'* song to the silence of the night: but if so. what are we think of the bird which, in the open giare ef day. overpowers and ofteu silenc es all competition? The natural notes of the American mo king bird are similar to those of the brown thrush. —Arorßey. MRS. PARTINGTON ON WEDDING*. —" I like to 'tend wedding*." said Mrs. Partington, as she came back from one ia chnrcb, aud hung up her shawl, and replaced the bonnet in the long pre*en ed bandbox. " I like to see yeans peo ple come together with the promise to love, cherish an ! nourish each other. But it is a solemn thing, is matrimony—a verv solemn thine:—where the niiri*ter comes into the chancery with the surplus on and goes through the ceremony of making them man and wife. It ought to be husband and wife, fnr it i-m't every ha-band that turn* out to be a man I declare I never shall forget when Paul nut on the nuptial ring on my finger ami said, "with my goods I thee endow." He used to keep a dry good* store then, and 1 thought he was going to give the whole there was in it 1 was young and simple, aud didn't knew till afterwards thai it meant only a calico dress a year '* AN OU MAN'S V:FE. —In the eighty fourth year of hi* *ge. Dr Calvin Ciapin wrv>te to hi. wife : " My domes? c enjoyaK its have been perhaps, as ner perfection as the uumjn coa d.tioa permit*. Sue tuade my home the p'ea*- antest spot to me on earth. And now she is gone, my worldly loss is perfect." How many a poor fellow t*> saved from suicide, from the penitentiary and toe gaiiow* every year, had he been biexsed w.ib such a wife. " bbe made borne the pieasaate-t spot to me on earth " \Yu*t a grand trbote to thai voniio't love and piety, aud common >er*e ? Rather different aas toe testimony of an c-iu man some tnree year* ago, ast before be wa hang in the Toczba yard of this city. " I did not intend to kisi my wife, bat she was a very aggravating woman." Let each wie inquire. " which am I ?'*—Emr* HAUTT: —;o one of his br.ittaE? e-say* of certain very testy do-gtEAtisrs who are rot less common tew than in his da*\ that yoa may hear one of these Qu xotic d<viaio-r* pleading the cause o: humanity ua a Toiee of thunder or expatiating ou the bean'y of a Guide w.th :'eaares distorted w-,;h scort: ! PRETTY GOOC —AS Irish ggl WBC bad re oeat'y landed in New York, acd had been hed in a splec-Ld macaioa of tie F.?hh ARE cne. was observed by tire lady of the house to come down the stag-are Upon be.ng asked the reasoc tf *n m>ie of retr> gresci-.c Bidfy auswtre.-- Lar* bless i T t i rear* tuar ■"*" ttciud sc.!-." VOL. XVIII. —NO. 8. Terrific Aocidents on the Fourth. I>enuis Bulgrtrddery, in consequence of fir ing ofl' Chinese crackers in bis teeth, had the corner of his nose blown to flinters, and four teeth transferred from Lis lower juw to the roof of his mouth. Jenkins, being absent-minded, put his light ed " punk" iuto his coat pocket, instead of his knife, said pocket containing one-quarter pound of |>owder. Beult—the enii.-e basement blown out of his pants, and an indisposition to sit down, except upon Lis stomach, beiugprev aleni ever since. Vandickerslop went to look into a sre crack er. to see if it Lad gout off, when it exploded, putting one eye in darkness forever, and act ting Lis whisker on fire. Taken to the hospi tal. Several young men carelessly played with loaded bottles, towards evening. The bottle exploded with a crash. Three of them were injured in the throat, one in head, and the other in the stomach. They were taken home on she iters by four gentlemen of Irish persu asion, with short sticks. I)under-p!aff intended to celebrate in a brill iant rranuer, in the Fifth ward. So he placed a hogshead in front of his house the night be fore, and in uiorniug at day-break lit half a dozeu packs of fire crackers aud threw them in the hogshead, while half a dozen young Dundtrsplaffs stood around, to watch the ef fect. A scattering ex plosion was heard, then a yell, aud the next moment a ragged loafer, who had been sleeping in the hogshead all night sprang forth all in flames and before the little Duuder-piafTs could even raise a yell, pitched into old I>ander a p!aff, aud gave him a terrible lickiug. Dundersplaff kept in a dark room the rest part of the day, with a piece of raw beefsteak over both eyes, and a piece of brown pa{a.r, wcjt with whiskey, over his nose. How llr. IJO<T HIS II UR —A Norfolk pa [>er tells the following -rory : I r; O-good and Jonathan Aiken were on op;osite sides of j>clitics la.t fall, Grundy county, and the fight between them—tbcV were rui:ai;i_r for Congress—grew warm and despera'e. One day, when they ntet on the -tump, Uri, who-e head was bald, and should thert-tcre have been cooler, in the midst of bis indignation, turned njon Jonathan, and said : " I think, sir. you have but one idea in your head, and that is a very small one, if it should swell, it would burst it.' f \\ hereat Jonathan grew red in the face, and looking for a moment at the bare and vener able head of his opponent, asked if be should what he thought of him ? " Say on.'' said Uri.*' " W ell, I think you hava't one in your head and never had. There's been one scratching around on the outside, tryiug to get in, till it has scratched all the hair off : but it*s n: ver got in. and never will.'' Uri was silent. IHE DARE DAY UF 17>U. —The phenomeooa of the dt.rk day which occurred in the greater part of New England and Canada, ia May, 17*0, we would inform a correspondent had never been fully explained. It occurred ou the 19th of this month. For several days previously the atmosphere apjiearcd to be charged witis a dry smoky vnp>r, o that the Sun could scarcely be viewed with the naked eye. At 10 o'clock in the morning the dark ness had iucreased to such a degree as to im pede regular transactions of business. Beta ecu half-past twelve and one, it approached its height. Ordinary business was whoily sospen ■ ded, ai.o many j>eop!e began tu i think that the last day Lad really come, aaU ! to fall u|ion their knees and pray lustily for j forgiveness. Ihe darkness continued to in ! crease and the excitement waged higher. j YY hatever was doue was dooe by caadfc-ligbi though at noonday. Fowls sought their roosts I • attic retired as at night, and many c*vi and ■ intelligent jxx>j !e began to th;nk tilings veto ■ getting to !>e rather gloomy. About otic [ o'clock the wind, which had fx.en at rioulu east. changed to lite Southwest. the darkness began gradually to Suoin<sh % amiat two o'clock HLiu, beast, and fowl we;* about again. A very little rain had fallen in the mcruing. During the whole time the air had a soorjr -nioky smell, w ileo was aho communicated to the ra.n water that was saved, The supposed (•u>eof tii i strange phenoiaenoo was so< >- I'<os i to be vj.>: fire-, hi:ii were known la i* rag.ug II iat forests, ;u s.eae parts of lLa couatry. i". ere had Iveo DO Millers about b fore the lark day came u;-vu the people of the Kasteru ts-*as a u r pro. ev'e- had i*-r ruade hen e i w ■i. refer, vto :w coming oi the judgatent boor. Ilcwever. t ere was as we have hinted the greate-t psssibie trepidation; ohi geu tieiaaa told u-, once * hen talking about it, that he every moment expected to hear tr -ound of the dreadful trump. It tame not. the world >tlH ro - open its axts, when to stop, a only known by the creat Creator himself. A S fc\s NT IV** TV TFT HrTT?—ln tit* •- *ty •'•? t't*?* *i>a 'irtf sadits j? *t'tei w tit r ; th* waii of tV oM th^atr* 1 TV >: ha<i *hrvn r hf d.:*c'c ~* ; rof th* r!a* t* ?©h# *r 'i* fatal r >t" **i pniotd at '3 ~ f.;"3 th* h>:s* *1- wrr- i~Ht or> to the •ctps* <-i rt ali *a? ti!! *> ftt'i At th"> r.vj'r, *>£ r 1 hi;jV*" r**p*"ta ■ r 7j,- • • .- K i a'-v* R'y; tb* r-ro of *> pt>toi. "while r,u r? sat i * J-, i h- Wj, %ib- tvaf* trA % tbatrh thnat !c*oacb ar. a?d Mr D:?7 Mr T f z *- dc-c't ihcoi *• .!t 'l-! Tt'" Ft* !t,V| ak* dens** .V-!" .'4/ 'j •"'{• r" . - * Tte r; dicc't explode. bet the *2d;*s * did Dt? bet tb* cooldc t * ZT" *s*a to 1 i: *:-;.=- pl*fc*c way of "ocvts is t: =*"• y ace; :* :ri?—.-rs * ati *: *:?_ icqnalzU--*
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers