o<£ DDLLAR PER ANNUM, INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE.
fflinrsihig fllornintj, Jnlj} 23, 1857.
jscltdtb Ipottrn.
[From the I/omlon Athenaeum.]
GOING HOME.
EV FRANCIS BROWX.
We ami that the Jays were evil,
We felt that they might be few.
For low was onr fortune's level.
And heavy the winters grew :
Pat one who had no possession
Ux>kid up to the azure dome,
Andsaid, ia his simple fashion.
•• IVar friends, we are going home 1
•• This world is the same dull market
That wearied its earliest sage ;
The times to the wise arc dark yet,
And so hath been many an age.
And rich grow the toiling nations.
And red grow the battle spears,
And dreary with desolations
Roll onward the laden years.
■ What need of the eliangless story,
Which time hath so often told ;
The spectre that follows glory.
The canker that comes with gold—
Th.it wisdom, and strength, and honor.
Must fade like the far sea foam,
And death is the only winner ?
Put. friends, we are going home!
• The homes we had hoped to rest in
Were open to siu and strife ;
The dreams that our youth was blest In,
W t re not for the wear of life ;
For care can darken the cottage,
As well as the palace hearth.
A: d l irth rlghts are sold for pottage.
But never redeemed on earth.
• T:;e springs hare gone by in sorrow.
The summers were grieved away.
And ever we feared to-morrow,
And ever we blame to-day.
In depths which the searcher sounded.
On hills which the high heart clomb.
Have trouble and toil abounded ;
But friends we are going home!
■ Our faith was the bravest builder.
But found not a stone of trust !
Our lore was the fairest giMer.
But lavished its wealth on dust!
And time hath the fabric shaken.
And fortune the clay hath shown :
For much they have changed and taken.
But nothing that was our own.
" The light that to ns made baser
The ;>ath which so many choose :
The gifts there was found no place for :
The riches we could not use ;
The heart that, when lite was wintry.
Found summer strain and tone ;
With these, to our kiu and county.
lKar friends we are going home !"
Communications.
[For '.be Bradford Reporter]
Human Dost.
1: > a carious. though somewhat gloomy and
forbidding- subject for speculation, to conjure
up singular mishaps and strange adveu
tur-.s may befall this delicate dust of ours when
have ' shuffled off the mortal coil" and
it. [talc and lifeless to the tender
r •:r;:oe of the doctors, the elemeuts and the
Tonus
After so many years of intimacy, after shar
tsr * ca it the good, the ill, the agreeable and
wd bitter, the joys aud sorrows, the storms
sni calms of the checkered scenes of life's great
■irtaa, what wonder that as we contemplate
o.ug it aside, we should wish it an houoraule
rove. and hope to ha ve inscribed on its tomb
stone and realized in its subsequent fate "re
m poof"
Most expect to molder away in peace be
•ath Che green sod of their Native hid or val
leys <nrro*inded by kindred, and where the
iof friendship may guard and adorn with
c wers the place of their sepulture. But the
<rs r Kiag imperiously serves his habeas Cor
fu on his trembling victims and subjects them
t> ".iarsoce vile," without the least regard for
• ft peon' a: tastes or particular predilections.
Some yield their breath to the fierce spirit of
JEW fiames and the passing breeze scatters their
to the reckless wiuds of heaven. Some,
in the deep, dark, cavernous mines of
earth, overtaken and overwhelmed by the
- ghty cashing mass above them, are imbed
forever in the foundations of the everlast
hills.
paie before the biting, piercing breath
of the rude northern blast, and, wrapped ia
• adiag sheets of snow or enfolded in the
t&ck-r.bbed ice, bid defiance to corruption and
The fearful spirit of the storm wind
*eeds with resistless funr over the arid wastes
• the deserts, overpowering the luckless trar
**t who sinks beneath the whirling clouds and
his dainty dust with their ever-shifting
The poisonous blast of the simooo
steaij the breath of the unwary wanderer and
•~'Aves i., s corse to rot unboried by
'•he wiyade
btaa: famine and wau disease pursue the
*eancd emigrant in his lonely journey across
p'rins. till having accomplished therr m
they coosgn bis wasted carra s to the
■<*der mercies of howling wolves that sarage
-7 de~ocr the yet palpitating flesh and leave
tl ' boaes to bleach beneath the piti
storms of heaven. Some id-starred mari
*r sail- 'rot* bis native land fondly dreaming
—t :st r ".he Ear e? fa tare "btu he aha!*
THE BRADFORD REPORTER.
again behold the spires of bis village, hoping
at last to rest in its quiet churchyard ; but far
out upon the wide waste of waters, he goes
down to the solemn chambers of the deep,
amid the coral bowers and mysteries of the
mermaids, while aquatic monsters find in him
a horrid banquet or flee in dread his ghastly
clay. A zealous missionary goes forth to
carry light into the dark places and publish
tidings of peace and salvation in the habita
tions of cruelty, fondly expecting, when his la
bors arc ended, to lie down with his fathers
amid the scenes of his childhood ; but ere long
a martyr to his sacred calling, he falls perhaps
by savage hands, and horrid monsters in hu
man shape cxultingly crown a disgusting repast
with his mutilated remains.
Some by the wasting pestilence, on foreign
shores, are cut down and rough hands rudely
consign them to a common receptacle of the
wretched aud frieudless. The unfortanate,
destitute stanger who dies iu the crowded city,
is quickly tumbled into the revoltiug pit of the
Potter's field, or perhaps some youthfui aspir
ing disciple of Esculapius displays his skill in
hacking and hewing the form divine by uncer
emoniously carving his joints and exposing the
hidden mysteries of frame ; and his bones in
stead of reclining in the lap of mother earth are
rudely rattled over by the morbid curiosity of
the living, and bis ghastly kull grins in horrid
mockery at the follies and fooleries enacting in
in the busy world aronnd it. The beaux and
belles, who with studious care deck their fault
less forms and vie with each other ia the cost
liness and spleudor of their attire, and who
haughtily shun and contemptuously look down
upon the sons and daughters of poverty, may
perhaps, when the hand of the grim spoiler has
stripped them of their gaudy trappings aud
shriveled their dainty flesh, share a com
mon grave with the miserable inmates of the
prison and almshouse, aud associate in closest
companionship with the most loathsome and
squalid of ail that wear the human shape.—
Yet strange inconsistency !
That part which mast so soon liecome a re
volting mass of corruption and mingle with the
sense-clods, is nourished aud guarded with every
passible care, while the undyiug mind that will
live to rise above the wrecks of ruined worlds, is
■eft to grovel in ignorance, and suffered to re
maiu wholly neglected and unfitted for its in
troduction to the wondrous scenes that await
it. M.
Leltavsvine. Julv 10th 1x57.
[I 'rrespoadcaoe of the Bradford Reporter.]
MR. EDITOR :—Our great national anniver
sary has again been "celebrated." Again have
1 orators become eloquent over past glories aud
i present prosperity, and bauds have grown eu
j thusiastic with the spirit of " Yankee Doo
} die" and the " Star-ispangSed Banner." Pale
' faced boys, with not less of faucy than enthu
siasm, iu their maiden speeches have recount
ed in glowing words the struggles for liberty ;
have rode high upon the eagle with wings of
stars and stripes, as though it were a gigantic
! nightmare, and borrowed colors of the ram
bow to paint this glorious arch of states. The
j cities have swarmed with " sojers " and the air
has beeu filled with the musk*, .of drum and
cannon. Young men. who planting time,
have devoted themselves strictly to the farm,
have improved the opportunity the day pre
sented to escort their ladies fair to the " do
ings,"* and [vitriolic boys, fresh from the
" swimming-place," have expended their last
picayune for fire-crackers with which to honor
the day and frighten people's horses.
No doubt you enjoyed your share of Ameri
can I ndependecce, Mr. Editor, —and if the
speeches were not too and g-ti-iorwns. the
seats too hard, the crowd too great and the
dinner too sparse, we have BO doubt you en
joyed a time. We hope you did. es
pecially if the Madam and the little uiiters
bore vou company. It is truly a fine sight to
contemplate —a great nation, putting aside
for a time its pride in the all-absorbing pres
ent. while it reviews the past in national life ;
and all its component parts however much dis
turbed by opposing political opinions, uniting
in the general harmony of rejoicing lor we
do rejoice in the memories of the past. T;>e
mellowed strains from the far sounding Harp
of our Revolution, come to us from the dis
tance with a melancholy joy. It echoes the
defeats and victories of our arms aod cause,
the deprivations of oar forefathers, repeats the
stirring eloquence of the " times that tried
men's souk," and sings iu celestial strains the
final triumph of liberty. But
" Ate' Its fh-*d trf nrWr
Are we* afl • with tawe tr!
and tbis is why the memories of this day
*re so sacredly pleasant —foe ao soond ever
went to the hiart whose ATTOW was uot fea
thered by sadness.
We. too. e joyed an agreeable personal
'• time" oat of a natiotia! affair We went
around to FipefTiile—you know Fiperr.le.
It is a pleasant place, nestling among the bills
I ke " beaaty nestling tn a voting man's breast.
As m did not ob-serre yoor pleasant fa n
am og tic company !?*! '.aa* 'be ! be~ - y
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., BY E. O'MEARA GOODRICH.
to tell you about it. The scenery of the place
is rugged and romantic, the ladies are fair,
and at this season of the year, and on this
day, it is altogether delightful. The little val
ley with the Susquehanna winding through it,
the abrupt hills ou the opposite side, the green
fields and pleasant sunshine over all, combine
to make a bouqnet for the eye, such as Mrs.
Jones is preparing for the resuscitation of the
" inner man." The people of the place seem
somewhat like its scenery—you will find much
beauty and agreeableness among rougher fea
tures. You will be pleased with appearances
of flags and other preparations. No doubt
you will detect the independent air of the place,
aud will remember Mrs. Hemans' eloquent
words,
Could walk where Liberty has been, nor see
The shining foot-prints of her Deity,
Nor feel those jcd-like breathings in the air.
That mutely tells her spirit has been there."
You think you observe it more particularly on
the outside of the crowd, where " Young
American" Republicanism, with fire-crackers
is hurrahing aud " hollerin." You will see a
truth in the words, for liberty eau both be
seen and smelled. The entertainment is an
" exhibition." Is it not well for vonDg genius
thus to break from the custom of calling in
the aid of foreign talent, and to contrive for
itself home-made enjoyments? By this raeaus
many ends ore attaiued. The day is more
feelingly commemorated and enjoyed, when
onr dearest interests—in those of our yonng
friends—are mingled on the occasion in happy
union with pride of country, and at the same
time yonng talent is encouraged and our friends
arc entertained.
So, while you arc waiting with all anxiety
| for the preparations to be concluded, yon will
no doubt be thinking of Toll's daring challenge
: to Tyranny, Rolla and Peruvians, or perhaps
of Lord Percy aud the yar.kee marksman—
j till you become quite excited, and almost fau
cy yourself Patrick Henry demolishing the
Parsous. Now the band, consisting of a fid
dler ami bass-drummer, strike up Yankee Doo
dle, and there is a general waking np all over
your borders, and you are filled with the spirit
l of *76. The curtain rises, and the manager
with his hat on, steps forward to read the pro- j
gramme. Yon observe with pleasure his fine
face, manly figure and grace of movemeut. and
as yon hear the eloquent tones of his voice,
images rise up before you of Demosthenes ad
dressing the Athenians, or Fox and Lord
Chatham, with their commanding eloquence
swaying the British nation. You half fancy
you hear the measured tones of Bryant's Tl.an
atopsis, or the burning rhapsodies of Parrha
sius, the painter, over his dying victim. You
see, ]eoping out from behind the inner cur
tain. such pleasant faces and bright eyes, that
instantly visions of Joan, the Heroine of Or
leans, the "Schoolmistress" and the "Two
voices " float around you. and you almost lis
ten for the melancholy tones of the " May
Queen." But TOU are doomed to disappoint
ment. When the curtain rises again, and
they start off with a " on Agricultu
ral Chemis'rv." you think it may be a mistake
—perhaps a joke. But when your fancied
friend Densest heues comes in as tlie " Quack
Doctor " or the " Irish piper." and iiis eloquent
friend ou the right as the " drunken Philoso
pher," though vou may errant it good playing, ,
and be proportionable pleased, you will cer
tainlv be eisappointed. And when the bright
eves come out in the character of Widow lie- 1
dott. or " Cathalien ~ or " Sally." though they
! are well sustained, a? any character sach
j "bright eyes " undertook would be. yet your
disappointment is none the !e"= You natu- <
rallv think that such amusement might be ac
companied by high intellectual taste, and free
dom from anything that would offend a deli
cate ear. and that perhaps the Irish piper and
Bedott trash are idly chosen. But bless your
sou!—No sir 1 It's philosophy —the philosophy
of Piperville. They agree with yoa in the
main, but don't yoa k'r.ow. sir. that they hare
enough of such things on Sunday, and at other <
times, and that this is Independence day ? j
Seriousness and eloquence and their kin era-;
ees, though they may be appropriate now,
have other times allotted for their sufficient
swav, and ordinary shackles and church rules
needn't be insisted on with sttch strictness on
the glorious fourth I—Aud when at last out
of the thirty selections, you do get a taste of
the sensible in a part of Dr. Warren's Oration,
or a touch of the sublime in Lochiel's Warn
ing. yoa thank your stars for whatever gave
Campbell such " mystical love," and that
- coming events " did " cast their shadows be
fore * —him. and bless Dr. Warren for ever
having written an oration. The music you en
joy. ami perhaps wish that the programme
was richer in it, but when the exercises of the
day dose up with a grand " bear-dance," your
patriotism commences to look sheepish, and
TOO almost fancy yourself in the vicinity of
the " Dowry" Perhaps TOU imagine it would j
be better to have the substantial as a founda
tion, with lighter affairs mixed through gencr
oos-'V for relief.—better to have VJUT "FX
I <-. 'tt -lit *c Is-f yes: r'* v- ?' ?.
" REGARDLESS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER."
ly coffeed. But bless yon, yon are wrong !
you are not up to the " philosophy " of Piper
ville.
As you glance over the audience, you think
what an effect a different course of oratory
might have made. How that in every beat
ing bosom before you there dwells a glowing
spirit and a mind, coursing over a world of
thought as wide as your own ; and away down
in the depths of each bosom, perhaps buried,
there are deep feelings, which eloquent words
and stirring action might touch, and where
beautiful sentiments and noble thoughts would
meet a hearty response. And you tell your
self how easily this is attained by an " exhibi
tion," where young men are spurned on to re
new the eloquence of the great minds of other
times, and young ladies are encouraged to add
the beauty of their forms and the music of
their voices to enliven the scenes. We shall
be rejoiced when every town over our coun
try. breaking as Piperville has, from the thral
dom of custom, shall have its own " Celebra
tion." When interloping talent from abroad
with grand orations, shall have been displaced
by our own rational and domestic'intellectual
enjoyments.
But our mental has been entertained and
and now wc must administer to the wants of
the physical —we adjourn for supper. Your
faucy, if you have a taste for the natural and
picturesque, may bring up the refreshing idea
of a pic nic, with its cold turkey, chicken-pie
aud plum cake—and all the accompaniments
of cool shade, boquets aud festoons around a
rough table. Absurd, sir ! The trouble of
preparing such a table in the grove, to be sure,
all lending a hand, would be little —but did
yoa ever hear of any money being made by
anybody out of a pic-nic ? Preposterous—
don't mention it! The air of evening is balmy,
the company in fine spirits and supper goes off
well. Mrs. Jones is a good cook ! Patriot
ism takes a sudden torn and speeches are
drowned in gallantry, small-talk and coffee.
It is well you brought a lady with you—bet
ter you had been accompanied by two—for
let me whisper it in your ear as a bit of phil
osophy known to but few outside of Piperville,
that lie who brings txco Indies has his supper
at half-price, while the unfortunate fellow who
is not favored by the smiles or company cf a
" dulcina " is supposed to eat four times as
much from having no one to wait on. and is
eonseqoeutly charged double-price. li s away
they have of cvnalizing things in Piperville !
Our goverument have lately heard of it. aud
talk of adopting it into our system of taxation,
whereby rich bachelors, and men without chil
dren are to support the large families of the
poor. Is not this plan worthy of Piperville,
Mr. Editor, and its philosophizing inhabitants?
After supper come the promenades, which
it is needless to say, are delightful as your so
ciety is delightful, and after the promenades
come the other amusements of the evening.—
A'on do not repair reluctantly to the ball-room
when in the sunshine of beauty, and iu the
whirl of the dance, the minutes wing pleasant
ly by. Or perhaps you do uot dance— S- me
people don't. In which case you go to another
room where " Bliud Man's Buff." " Suap-and
eatcli-em" and the " Coach Story " make you
feel as though you were nda dignified editor:
and if for a moment your thoughts should wan
der to Buuker Hill, the secret Convention, or
the Continental Congre>s. a charming pair of
eyes, or a pretty pair of lips soon banish all
sach thoughts. But where all this time is the
Madam ? You have forgotten her. I fancy
I see her just ahead of me around the charm
ed circle, {charming. I mcaut —but lie easy,
sir. I shall catch her ! Did you ever play
" Moscow." Be careful or yoa will have a
pa<~* to pay. and then you will have some hor
rid thing to do to redeem it.
Bat " the Fourth " is so Bear past that we
shall hardly have time to get borne before a
breach is made on the fifth—and it closes up
so agreeably that you vote most decidedly in
favor of " exhibitions."
Decidedly y>nr-.
East Pipertii'e. July fith. N'-?.
Y>. NX EEs AT Pcr-!r —Go where yon will
yen meet Americans. We had no sooner ■*!
foot iu Pompeii, and were bn-y exploring the
temple of I>is aud the sacrificial alter, when in
came three curious Yankees and joined our
party. The other day on reaching the top of
Vesuvius. I diseried a man sitting astride a
block of lava. I don't know why. but I mark
ed him at ooce as one of my countrymen. A
-1 advanced towaM him. I could not help uo
ticiog the cool mauner in which he and Vesu
vius were taking a morning smoke together
His long nine was ma out like a bowsprit, ainj
he took the whole as calmly as one would look
upon the kitchen fire at home. As Mn as I
came up with hitn he bawled out.
"Hallo, stranger ! pretty considerable lot o4
law raoond here ! Any news down beic-w
Ye hain't tuckered aout —be ye V
On my asking him if be bad looked into the
crater, hie replied,
" Yass, but I burnt the legs of my trowsers.
though I tell yew f
He turned oat to be a ma a from New E*z
!ad who rame up from Marseille - to see tbe
v._n zro. and a more dchgbtful *erd*6t getive
r- - j. - •_ f r*T" 5
How Lager-Beer is Made.
This wc had an opportunity to lenrn on n
late visit to the extensive brewery of Messrs
Humphries A Juneraann, cornerof Fourth ano
E streets, Capitol Hill. This establishment,
opened on the loth day of September last,
comprises a large two story dwelling house,
to which is attached an extensive back building
of the same height, a pavilion forty feet square
overlooking one of most charming landscape
prospects, in the vicinity, an harbor affording
a delicious shelter from the son's rays, several
side booths extending down the whole length
of the grounds, and last of all the brewery—
the whole enclosed by a high board fence, and
comprising 40,020 square feet of ground
We enter tfie brewery, ai d the first object
that greets our eye is an extensive malt-boiler.
This boiler is made of sheatli copper, and is
capable of holding 22 barrels, or CS4 gallons.
The malt is, after being ground, poured into
this kettle and boiled four hours : then it is
dipped and goes to the malt-inash pit, where it
undergoes a rigid manipulation. It is then
returned to the kettle aud boiled again, then
sent back to the pit for another stirring up.—
This operation is repeated three several times
when it is placed in the boiler for the fourth
and last time, on which occasion the hops are
added. After this fourth l>oiling, the liquid
it drawu off and placed in the eooling-box or
shoal-pit.
We now go to the cellar, which has a level
entrance from the north side of the brewery.—
After penetrating considerable distance into
the solid earth, we descend a flight of steps
some 17 feet, and enter the main cellar. On
each side are piled np huge hogsheads, each
holding 15 barrels, to the height of 15 feet.
These are filled with the generous and cooling
liquid called I>ager-Beer. We uow proceed to
the furthest extent of this underground vault,
and are 188 feet from the entrance, and up
wards of 50 feet below the surface, and pro
tected by a brick arch overhead.
Looking up through a shaft, which has been
sunk from the top, a small speck of daylight
is peeeptible far above. This shaft admits
the ho>e by which the liquid is conveyed froru
the cooler to the hogsheads, where it gets a
sufficiency of common yeast to work it. It is
then hermetrieally sealed and nonopened uutil
it has remained in the hogsheads six months.,
when it is fit for use. The hogsheads are
phccd on parallel sills or log sleepers, which
are c-aiied lager iu the German, hence the name
lager- beer. In this <c!lar is stowed away
six hundred barrels of beer. Since the pro
prietors commenced operation they have xoid
aud given away some $2,400 worth.
" Lager" is a great institution undoubtedly
Dixon of the ".Sea//*/"' to the contrary not
withstanding : and we shall not be sorry to see
the day when malt beverages and home-grown
light wines, shall take the place of maddening
alcoholic drinks.
END OF A TENNESSEE FP.II.IC —WeII, we dan
ced aud hurrawed without any particular in
terest to happen tiil about three o'clock, when
the damdest muss was kicked up you ever see.
Jim Smith sot down alongside Bet Hoiden,
(the steel trap gall and just give her a bag
bur fashion. She took it very kind till she
seed Sam Henry a lookiu' on from behind
about a dozen of gals, then sle fell to kickin"
and hollerin', and a Scratchin* like wrath.—
Sam he came np and told Jim to let Bet go.
Jim told him to go to a far-off country whar
they give away brimstone and throw you in the
fire to burn it. Sam hit Jim strate between
the eyes, aid after a few licks the fighting -tar
ted. Oh, bu-h ' It makes my month water
now to think what a beautiful row we had.—
One fellow from Cadv's Cove knocked a hoie
iu the bottom of a fryin" pan, over Dun Tuck
er's head, and left it hangiu' roaud his neck,
the handle flyin" about Eke a long iail cue.
auu tbar it hung tiil Jake Tuurman cut it off
with a coal chisel next day 1 That was his
share for that night sure. Another fellow got
knocked into a meal barrel ; he was as mealy
as an Irish later and as hot a- a bo-- radish;
when Le bunted t'ue hoops and caine out he
rared a few ! Two fellers fit out of the door,
down the bill into the creek, aud there ended
it in a qniet way all alone. A perfect male
from Stock Creek hit me a wipe with a pair
of windiu' blades ; he made kiudlin* wood of
them, and I lit on him. We had it head and
tails for a very long time, ail over the bouse,
but if the truth must be told and shame my
kin. he warp-d me nice : jest to save time lie
hollered. The lickiu" lie gave me sorter unea
sy and hostile like ; it waks.aed icy wolf wide
aweke. The little fiddle came scronsrin* pest
boldin' bis rt.idie up over his head to keep it
in tune, f-r the fiirhtin* wa- -jetting tolerably
brisk. Y rt u are the one thinks I, end jtst
•grabbed the dough tray and split it p'nm over
liis head f He rotted down rieht thar, ami T
paddled bis t'other end with one of the ]eice-
Whilst I us' mohfying my feelings in that
way. his g?! stepped up behind ine and fetch
ed tae a rake with the {lot-hooks Jn!e Saw
yer was thar. and jtst annexed with her. riirht
off. and R nvjhty nice file it was. Ju!e stripped
and checked her face nice. like a partridre net
hang on a white fence. She h-dlered for her
fiddler, but oh, shaw! he couldn't do her a
bit of : he was too busy rabbin" his bro
ken head, and then his bii>tem) extremities :
so when I thought Jnle had given her a plen
ty. I pailcd her off. and pat iu a good humor,
by iriiiii heT soft—awder. Well, I thought
at first if I had a drink J'J lie done. o
I started for tire creek, ami the first thing I
saw was more dars with my eyes shut than I
ever did with them open. I looked aronnd.
and it was the little fiddler's big brother '
I krowed what it meant, -o we locked lor:r
without a wrH, thar a!? akme, and I do think
we fit an hour At last some of the feflerw
beam the jolts at the house, they cum and dag
us out, for we had fit into a hole where a big
pine stomp had burnt out and there we wa.
Un to ocr girths, a away face to face,
and no dodgia*.— Xe ;< S.
taf rbe heart !%t *l* -eicr tcttds
rei•" ' when t 4:I:
VOL. XVIII. —NO. 7.
PRATING TO THE. Porxr.— A certain lawyer
who dwelt in one of onr New England towns
noted for his over-reaching and short comings
—duringa revival came under conviction, and
requested prayers for the furtherance of hi*
conversation. His appeal was rc.j>onded to
by one of the saints, an eeeentric but very pi
ous old man—honest, plain, blunt. square-toed
and flat-f<otod, who thrw went at rt :
44 We do most earnestly entreat thee, O
Lord, to sanctify onr penitent brother, liere ;
till his heart with goodnee* and grace, so that
lie shall hereafter forsake his evil ways ami
follow in the right path. We do not know,
however, that it is required of him, who has
appropriated worldly .goods to himself unlawful
ly and dishonestly, that he shall make restitu
tion four-fold ; but we IK seech thee to have
mercy on this, onr erring brother, as it would
he impossible for him to do that, and let him
off for the liest he can do without beggaring
him entirely, by paying twenty-five cents on a
dollar.''
THE Coi r.Aor OK SCIENCE. —Courage in the
battle field is celebrated in history and song ;
hot little is said of the conrage exhibited in
pursuing scientific investigations thongh often
displayed more real elements of bravery than
ever were called into action in war. It is said
that when Arngo and Dulong were employed
by the French government npon the snbject
of the construction ami safety of steam boilers,
the task executed by the two philosophers was
one of as much danger as difficulty. The burst
ing of boilers to which they were constantly
exposed in a limited locality, was more hazard
ous than than of shells npon a battle field ;
and while military officers who assisted them—
men of tried conrage in the conflict—grew pale
and fled from the scene, the snrans proceeded
coolly to make their calculation, and to observe
the ternjieratnrc and pressure npon boilers al
most at the very point of explosion.
As INFIDEL RF.BIKEO. —An inGdel, boast
ing in a published letter that he had raised
two acres of 44 Sunday com,*' which he intend
ed to derofc to the purchase of infidel books,
adds : 44 All the work done on it was done on
Sunday, and it will yield some seventy bushels
to the acre ; so I don't see but that Nature,
<£■ Providence, has smiled upon my Suuday
work, however the priests or the Bible may
say that work dnc on that day never pros
pers. My corn tells another story."' To this
the editor of au agricultural paper replies :
4i If the author of this shallow nonsense bad
read the Bible half as much as he has the
works of its optioaents, he would have known
that the great Kuier of the universe docs not
always square up his aecouuts with mankind ia
the month of October.*'
H"W TO TAKF. orr inr .STENT.—Sitting on
the piazza of the Cataract, was a young fop
i-b looking gentleman, his garments very high
ly scented with a mingled odor of musk and
cologne. A solemn-faced old man, after pas
sing the dandy several times with a look of
aversion which drew general notice, suddenly
stopped and. in a confidential tone said.
44 Stranger. I know what'll take that scent
out of your clothes : you *'
44 What ! what ! do you mean, sir ?' said
the exquisite, fired with indignation, starting
from his chair.
44 O. get mad, now—swear, pitch around
and fight liecause a man wants to do you a
kindness !** coolly replied the stranger. 44 But
I tell you I do Incic what'll take out that
*mei!—phew ! You must bury yonr clothes
—bury 'cm a day or two. Uncle Josh got a
foul of a skunk, and he "
At that instant there went up from the
crowd a simultaneous roar of merriment, and
the dandy very sensibly 44 cleared the coop,"'
and rushed up stairs.
IriV. Kraatralaat"- wife has a great fancy
for country life, and insists on keeping a ben
iu the itfek yard, as Hood rays, "to furnish
milk, batter and "ggs." for the family. Tin
other day she came to Knintsalaat in great
trepidation. "My dear," said she. "the hen
has commo* red to set. I took the ezg* away
from her, ami she is setting now on 'he corner
of the coal-bin, on an old axe-head !" "Well,
my dear." re-ponded Kransalaat. in his sub
dued hiiion- way, "if the hen is setting oa au
ou axe-head, it seems quite likely she may
hatch-it."
IZzT Major X , uj*>n lieing asked if he
was seriously inured by the landing of a
steamer, relied 44 that he was not, as he had.
been blown up so many times by his wife, that
a mere steamer explosion had uo effect on him
whatever.*'
JhtT A liiotmjdiy of Robespierre, publish
ed in a late Iri-h paper, conclude with the
following remarkable sentence : " This extra
ordinary man loft no children behind him. ex
cept his brother, who was killed at tbe sarnie
time."
9r&"' Voir husband seetns to tie • great
favorite arret jr the ladies," said Mrs Jones to
Mr. Butterwood the other day
** Yes." *ard Mrs li., but for the life of me
1 don't see where they "find anything to like
1 never could."
feaT 4 T'Kis —Hallo, Fred? what ycu writing ;
poetry ? Fred—Yes, Fm writing an owed
ode> to my tailor. Tom—What's the time
and time? Fred—Time sixty days. It's e;
to notes of mine in his jwssessioii.
•aiT An Irishman who liTed in an attir. br
ing aAed what part of the bouse he occupied,
answered— ** if the bene wua turned fcopsy
ur*y. I'd be b*us* oo tbe first lour.
A VttszUL*m Intir — frhw-r fr-" 4
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