o<£ DDLLAR PER ANNUM, INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. fflinrsihig fllornintj, Jnlj} 23, 1857. jscltdtb Ipottrn. [From the I/omlon Athenaeum.] GOING HOME. EV FRANCIS BROWX. We ami that the Jays were evil, We felt that they might be few. For low was onr fortune's level. And heavy the winters grew : Pat one who had no possession Ux>kid up to the azure dome, Andsaid, ia his simple fashion. •• IVar friends, we are going home 1 •• This world is the same dull market That wearied its earliest sage ; The times to the wise arc dark yet, And so hath been many an age. And rich grow the toiling nations. And red grow the battle spears, And dreary with desolations Roll onward the laden years. ■ What need of the eliangless story, Which time hath so often told ; The spectre that follows glory. The canker that comes with gold— Th.it wisdom, and strength, and honor. Must fade like the far sea foam, And death is the only winner ? Put. friends, we are going home! • The homes we had hoped to rest in Were open to siu and strife ; The dreams that our youth was blest In, W t re not for the wear of life ; For care can darken the cottage, As well as the palace hearth. A: d l irth rlghts are sold for pottage. But never redeemed on earth. • T:;e springs hare gone by in sorrow. The summers were grieved away. And ever we feared to-morrow, And ever we blame to-day. In depths which the searcher sounded. On hills which the high heart clomb. Have trouble and toil abounded ; But friends we are going home! ■ Our faith was the bravest builder. But found not a stone of trust ! Our lore was the fairest giMer. But lavished its wealth on dust! And time hath the fabric shaken. And fortune the clay hath shown : For much they have changed and taken. But nothing that was our own. " The light that to ns made baser The ;>ath which so many choose : The gifts there was found no place for : The riches we could not use ; The heart that, when lite was wintry. Found summer strain and tone ; With these, to our kiu and county. lKar friends we are going home !" Communications. [For '.be Bradford Reporter] Human Dost. 1: > a carious. though somewhat gloomy and forbidding- subject for speculation, to conjure up singular mishaps and strange adveu tur-.s may befall this delicate dust of ours when have ' shuffled off the mortal coil" and it. [talc and lifeless to the tender r •:r;:oe of the doctors, the elemeuts and the Tonus After so many years of intimacy, after shar tsr * ca it the good, the ill, the agreeable and wd bitter, the joys aud sorrows, the storms sni calms of the checkered scenes of life's great ■irtaa, what wonder that as we contemplate o.ug it aside, we should wish it an houoraule rove. and hope to ha ve inscribed on its tomb stone and realized in its subsequent fate "re m poof" Most expect to molder away in peace be •ath Che green sod of their Native hid or val leys <nrro*inded by kindred, and where the iof friendship may guard and adorn with c wers the place of their sepulture. But the <rs r Kiag imperiously serves his habeas Cor fu on his trembling victims and subjects them t> ".iarsoce vile," without the least regard for • ft peon' a: tastes or particular predilections. Some yield their breath to the fierce spirit of JEW fiames and the passing breeze scatters their to the reckless wiuds of heaven. Some, in the deep, dark, cavernous mines of earth, overtaken and overwhelmed by the - ghty cashing mass above them, are imbed forever in the foundations of the everlast hills. paie before the biting, piercing breath of the rude northern blast, and, wrapped ia • adiag sheets of snow or enfolded in the t&ck-r.bbed ice, bid defiance to corruption and The fearful spirit of the storm wind *eeds with resistless funr over the arid wastes • the deserts, overpowering the luckless trar **t who sinks beneath the whirling clouds and his dainty dust with their ever-shifting The poisonous blast of the simooo steaij the breath of the unwary wanderer and •~'Aves i., s corse to rot unboried by '•he wiyade btaa: famine and wau disease pursue the *eancd emigrant in his lonely journey across p'rins. till having accomplished therr m they coosgn bis wasted carra s to the ■<*der mercies of howling wolves that sarage -7 de~ocr the yet palpitating flesh and leave tl ' boaes to bleach beneath the piti storms of heaven. Some id-starred mari *r sail- 'rot* bis native land fondly dreaming —t :st r ".he Ear e? fa tare "btu he aha!* THE BRADFORD REPORTER. again behold the spires of bis village, hoping at last to rest in its quiet churchyard ; but far out upon the wide waste of waters, he goes down to the solemn chambers of the deep, amid the coral bowers and mysteries of the mermaids, while aquatic monsters find in him a horrid banquet or flee in dread his ghastly clay. A zealous missionary goes forth to carry light into the dark places and publish tidings of peace and salvation in the habita tions of cruelty, fondly expecting, when his la bors arc ended, to lie down with his fathers amid the scenes of his childhood ; but ere long a martyr to his sacred calling, he falls perhaps by savage hands, and horrid monsters in hu man shape cxultingly crown a disgusting repast with his mutilated remains. Some by the wasting pestilence, on foreign shores, are cut down and rough hands rudely consign them to a common receptacle of the wretched aud frieudless. The unfortanate, destitute stanger who dies iu the crowded city, is quickly tumbled into the revoltiug pit of the Potter's field, or perhaps some youthfui aspir ing disciple of Esculapius displays his skill in hacking and hewing the form divine by uncer emoniously carving his joints and exposing the hidden mysteries of frame ; and his bones in stead of reclining in the lap of mother earth are rudely rattled over by the morbid curiosity of the living, and bis ghastly kull grins in horrid mockery at the follies and fooleries enacting in in the busy world aronnd it. The beaux and belles, who with studious care deck their fault less forms and vie with each other ia the cost liness and spleudor of their attire, and who haughtily shun and contemptuously look down upon the sons and daughters of poverty, may perhaps, when the hand of the grim spoiler has stripped them of their gaudy trappings aud shriveled their dainty flesh, share a com mon grave with the miserable inmates of the prison and almshouse, aud associate in closest companionship with the most loathsome and squalid of ail that wear the human shape.— Yet strange inconsistency ! That part which mast so soon liecome a re volting mass of corruption and mingle with the sense-clods, is nourished aud guarded with every passible care, while the undyiug mind that will live to rise above the wrecks of ruined worlds, is ■eft to grovel in ignorance, and suffered to re maiu wholly neglected and unfitted for its in troduction to the wondrous scenes that await it. M. Leltavsvine. Julv 10th 1x57. [I 'rrespoadcaoe of the Bradford Reporter.] MR. EDITOR :—Our great national anniver sary has again been "celebrated." Again have 1 orators become eloquent over past glories aud i present prosperity, and bauds have grown eu j thusiastic with the spirit of " Yankee Doo } die" and the " Star-ispangSed Banner." Pale ' faced boys, with not less of faucy than enthu siasm, iu their maiden speeches have recount ed in glowing words the struggles for liberty ; have rode high upon the eagle with wings of stars and stripes, as though it were a gigantic ! nightmare, and borrowed colors of the ram bow to paint this glorious arch of states. The j cities have swarmed with " sojers " and the air has beeu filled with the musk*, .of drum and cannon. Young men. who planting time, have devoted themselves strictly to the farm, have improved the opportunity the day pre sented to escort their ladies fair to the " do ings,"* and [vitriolic boys, fresh from the " swimming-place," have expended their last picayune for fire-crackers with which to honor the day and frighten people's horses. No doubt you enjoyed your share of Ameri can I ndependecce, Mr. Editor, —and if the speeches were not too and g-ti-iorwns. the seats too hard, the crowd too great and the dinner too sparse, we have BO doubt you en joyed a time. We hope you did. es pecially if the Madam and the little uiiters bore vou company. It is truly a fine sight to contemplate —a great nation, putting aside for a time its pride in the all-absorbing pres ent. while it reviews the past in national life ; and all its component parts however much dis turbed by opposing political opinions, uniting in the general harmony of rejoicing lor we do rejoice in the memories of the past. T;>e mellowed strains from the far sounding Harp of our Revolution, come to us from the dis tance with a melancholy joy. It echoes the defeats and victories of our arms aod cause, the deprivations of oar forefathers, repeats the stirring eloquence of the " times that tried men's souk," and sings iu celestial strains the final triumph of liberty. But " Ate' Its fh-*d trf nrWr Are we* afl • with tawe tr! and tbis is why the memories of this day *re so sacredly pleasant —foe ao soond ever went to the hiart whose ATTOW was uot fea thered by sadness. We. too. e joyed an agreeable personal '• time" oat of a natiotia! affair We went around to FipefTiile—you know Fiperr.le. It is a pleasant place, nestling among the bills I ke " beaaty nestling tn a voting man's breast. As m did not ob-serre yoor pleasant fa n am og tic company !?*! '.aa* 'be ! be~ - y PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., BY E. O'MEARA GOODRICH. to tell you about it. The scenery of the place is rugged and romantic, the ladies are fair, and at this season of the year, and on this day, it is altogether delightful. The little val ley with the Susquehanna winding through it, the abrupt hills ou the opposite side, the green fields and pleasant sunshine over all, combine to make a bouqnet for the eye, such as Mrs. Jones is preparing for the resuscitation of the " inner man." The people of the place seem somewhat like its scenery—you will find much beauty and agreeableness among rougher fea tures. You will be pleased with appearances of flags and other preparations. No doubt you will detect the independent air of the place, aud will remember Mrs. Hemans' eloquent words, Could walk where Liberty has been, nor see The shining foot-prints of her Deity, Nor feel those jcd-like breathings in the air. That mutely tells her spirit has been there." You think you observe it more particularly on the outside of the crowd, where " Young American" Republicanism, with fire-crackers is hurrahing aud " hollerin." You will see a truth in the words, for liberty eau both be seen and smelled. The entertainment is an " exhibition." Is it not well for vonDg genius thus to break from the custom of calling in the aid of foreign talent, and to contrive for itself home-made enjoyments? By this raeaus many ends ore attaiued. The day is more feelingly commemorated and enjoyed, when onr dearest interests—in those of our yonng friends—are mingled on the occasion in happy union with pride of country, and at the same time yonng talent is encouraged and our friends arc entertained. So, while you arc waiting with all anxiety | for the preparations to be concluded, yon will no doubt be thinking of Toll's daring challenge : to Tyranny, Rolla and Peruvians, or perhaps of Lord Percy aud the yar.kee marksman— j till you become quite excited, and almost fau cy yourself Patrick Henry demolishing the Parsous. Now the band, consisting of a fid dler ami bass-drummer, strike up Yankee Doo dle, and there is a general waking np all over your borders, and you are filled with the spirit l of *76. The curtain rises, and the manager with his hat on, steps forward to read the pro- j gramme. Yon observe with pleasure his fine face, manly figure and grace of movemeut. and as yon hear the eloquent tones of his voice, images rise up before you of Demosthenes ad dressing the Athenians, or Fox and Lord Chatham, with their commanding eloquence swaying the British nation. You half fancy you hear the measured tones of Bryant's Tl.an atopsis, or the burning rhapsodies of Parrha sius, the painter, over his dying victim. You see, ]eoping out from behind the inner cur tain. such pleasant faces and bright eyes, that instantly visions of Joan, the Heroine of Or leans, the "Schoolmistress" and the "Two voices " float around you. and you almost lis ten for the melancholy tones of the " May Queen." But TOU are doomed to disappoint ment. When the curtain rises again, and they start off with a " on Agricultu ral Chemis'rv." you think it may be a mistake —perhaps a joke. But when your fancied friend Densest heues comes in as tlie " Quack Doctor " or the " Irish piper." and iiis eloquent friend ou the right as the " drunken Philoso pher," though vou may errant it good playing, , and be proportionable pleased, you will cer tainlv be eisappointed. And when the bright eves come out in the character of Widow lie- 1 dott. or " Cathalien ~ or " Sally." though they ! are well sustained, a? any character sach j "bright eyes " undertook would be. yet your disappointment is none the !e"= You natu- < rallv think that such amusement might be ac companied by high intellectual taste, and free dom from anything that would offend a deli cate ear. and that perhaps the Irish piper and Bedott trash are idly chosen. But bless your sou!—No sir 1 It's philosophy —the philosophy of Piperville. They agree with yoa in the main, but don't yoa k'r.ow. sir. that they hare enough of such things on Sunday, and at other < times, and that this is Independence day ? j Seriousness and eloquence and their kin era-; ees, though they may be appropriate now, have other times allotted for their sufficient swav, and ordinary shackles and church rules needn't be insisted on with sttch strictness on the glorious fourth I—Aud when at last out of the thirty selections, you do get a taste of the sensible in a part of Dr. Warren's Oration, or a touch of the sublime in Lochiel's Warn ing. yoa thank your stars for whatever gave Campbell such " mystical love," and that - coming events " did " cast their shadows be fore * —him. and bless Dr. Warren for ever having written an oration. The music you en joy. ami perhaps wish that the programme was richer in it, but when the exercises of the day dose up with a grand " bear-dance," your patriotism commences to look sheepish, and TOO almost fancy yourself in the vicinity of the " Dowry" Perhaps TOU imagine it would j be better to have the substantial as a founda tion, with lighter affairs mixed through gencr oos-'V for relief.—better to have VJUT "FX I <-. 'tt -lit *c Is-f yes: r'* v- ?' ?. " REGARDLESS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER." ly coffeed. But bless yon, yon are wrong ! you are not up to the " philosophy " of Piper ville. As you glance over the audience, you think what an effect a different course of oratory might have made. How that in every beat ing bosom before you there dwells a glowing spirit and a mind, coursing over a world of thought as wide as your own ; and away down in the depths of each bosom, perhaps buried, there are deep feelings, which eloquent words and stirring action might touch, and where beautiful sentiments and noble thoughts would meet a hearty response. And you tell your self how easily this is attained by an " exhibi tion," where young men are spurned on to re new the eloquence of the great minds of other times, and young ladies are encouraged to add the beauty of their forms and the music of their voices to enliven the scenes. We shall be rejoiced when every town over our coun try. breaking as Piperville has, from the thral dom of custom, shall have its own " Celebra tion." When interloping talent from abroad with grand orations, shall have been displaced by our own rational and domestic'intellectual enjoyments. But our mental has been entertained and and now wc must administer to the wants of the physical —we adjourn for supper. Your faucy, if you have a taste for the natural and picturesque, may bring up the refreshing idea of a pic nic, with its cold turkey, chicken-pie aud plum cake—and all the accompaniments of cool shade, boquets aud festoons around a rough table. Absurd, sir ! The trouble of preparing such a table in the grove, to be sure, all lending a hand, would be little —but did yoa ever hear of any money being made by anybody out of a pic-nic ? Preposterous— don't mention it! The air of evening is balmy, the company in fine spirits and supper goes off well. Mrs. Jones is a good cook ! Patriot ism takes a sudden torn and speeches are drowned in gallantry, small-talk and coffee. It is well you brought a lady with you—bet ter you had been accompanied by two—for let me whisper it in your ear as a bit of phil osophy known to but few outside of Piperville, that lie who brings txco Indies has his supper at half-price, while the unfortunate fellow who is not favored by the smiles or company cf a " dulcina " is supposed to eat four times as much from having no one to wait on. and is eonseqoeutly charged double-price. li s away they have of cvnalizing things in Piperville ! Our goverument have lately heard of it. aud talk of adopting it into our system of taxation, whereby rich bachelors, and men without chil dren are to support the large families of the poor. Is not this plan worthy of Piperville, Mr. Editor, and its philosophizing inhabitants? After supper come the promenades, which it is needless to say, are delightful as your so ciety is delightful, and after the promenades come the other amusements of the evening.— A'on do not repair reluctantly to the ball-room when in the sunshine of beauty, and iu the whirl of the dance, the minutes wing pleasant ly by. Or perhaps you do uot dance— S- me people don't. In which case you go to another room where " Bliud Man's Buff." " Suap-and eatcli-em" and the " Coach Story " make you feel as though you were nda dignified editor: and if for a moment your thoughts should wan der to Buuker Hill, the secret Convention, or the Continental Congre>s. a charming pair of eyes, or a pretty pair of lips soon banish all sach thoughts. But where all this time is the Madam ? You have forgotten her. I fancy I see her just ahead of me around the charm ed circle, {charming. I mcaut —but lie easy, sir. I shall catch her ! Did you ever play " Moscow." Be careful or yoa will have a pa<~* to pay. and then you will have some hor rid thing to do to redeem it. Bat " the Fourth " is so Bear past that we shall hardly have time to get borne before a breach is made on the fifth—and it closes up so agreeably that you vote most decidedly in favor of " exhibitions." Decidedly y>nr-. East Pipertii'e. July fith. N'-?. Y>. NX EEs AT Pcr-!r —Go where yon will yen meet Americans. We had no sooner ■*! foot iu Pompeii, and were bn-y exploring the temple of I>is aud the sacrificial alter, when in came three curious Yankees and joined our party. The other day on reaching the top of Vesuvius. I diseried a man sitting astride a block of lava. I don't know why. but I mark ed him at ooce as one of my countrymen. A -1 advanced towaM him. I could not help uo ticiog the cool mauner in which he and Vesu vius were taking a morning smoke together His long nine was ma out like a bowsprit, ainj he took the whole as calmly as one would look upon the kitchen fire at home. As Mn as I came up with hitn he bawled out. "Hallo, stranger ! pretty considerable lot o4 law raoond here ! Any news down beic-w Ye hain't tuckered aout —be ye V On my asking him if be bad looked into the crater, hie replied, " Yass, but I burnt the legs of my trowsers. though I tell yew f He turned oat to be a ma a from New E*z !ad who rame up from Marseille - to see tbe v._n zro. and a more dchgbtful *erd*6t getive r- - j. - •_ f r*T" 5 How Lager-Beer is Made. This wc had an opportunity to lenrn on n late visit to the extensive brewery of Messrs Humphries A Juneraann, cornerof Fourth ano E streets, Capitol Hill. This establishment, opened on the loth day of September last, comprises a large two story dwelling house, to which is attached an extensive back building of the same height, a pavilion forty feet square overlooking one of most charming landscape prospects, in the vicinity, an harbor affording a delicious shelter from the son's rays, several side booths extending down the whole length of the grounds, and last of all the brewery— the whole enclosed by a high board fence, and comprising 40,020 square feet of ground We enter tfie brewery, ai d the first object that greets our eye is an extensive malt-boiler. This boiler is made of sheatli copper, and is capable of holding 22 barrels, or CS4 gallons. The malt is, after being ground, poured into this kettle and boiled four hours : then it is dipped and goes to the malt-inash pit, where it undergoes a rigid manipulation. It is then returned to the kettle aud boiled again, then sent back to the pit for another stirring up.— This operation is repeated three several times when it is placed in the boiler for the fourth and last time, on which occasion the hops are added. After this fourth l>oiling, the liquid it drawu off and placed in the eooling-box or shoal-pit. We now go to the cellar, which has a level entrance from the north side of the brewery.— After penetrating considerable distance into the solid earth, we descend a flight of steps some 17 feet, and enter the main cellar. On each side are piled np huge hogsheads, each holding 15 barrels, to the height of 15 feet. These are filled with the generous and cooling liquid called I>ager-Beer. We uow proceed to the furthest extent of this underground vault, and are 188 feet from the entrance, and up wards of 50 feet below the surface, and pro tected by a brick arch overhead. Looking up through a shaft, which has been sunk from the top, a small speck of daylight is peeeptible far above. This shaft admits the ho>e by which the liquid is conveyed froru the cooler to the hogsheads, where it gets a sufficiency of common yeast to work it. It is then hermetrieally sealed and nonopened uutil it has remained in the hogsheads six months., when it is fit for use. The hogsheads are phccd on parallel sills or log sleepers, which are c-aiied lager iu the German, hence the name lager- beer. In this <c!lar is stowed away six hundred barrels of beer. Since the pro prietors commenced operation they have xoid aud given away some $2,400 worth. " Lager" is a great institution undoubtedly Dixon of the ".Sea//*/"' to the contrary not withstanding : and we shall not be sorry to see the day when malt beverages and home-grown light wines, shall take the place of maddening alcoholic drinks. END OF A TENNESSEE FP.II.IC —WeII, we dan ced aud hurrawed without any particular in terest to happen tiil about three o'clock, when the damdest muss was kicked up you ever see. Jim Smith sot down alongside Bet Hoiden, (the steel trap gall and just give her a bag bur fashion. She took it very kind till she seed Sam Henry a lookiu' on from behind about a dozen of gals, then sle fell to kickin" and hollerin', and a Scratchin* like wrath.— Sam he came np and told Jim to let Bet go. Jim told him to go to a far-off country whar they give away brimstone and throw you in the fire to burn it. Sam hit Jim strate between the eyes, aid after a few licks the fighting -tar ted. Oh, bu-h ' It makes my month water now to think what a beautiful row we had.— One fellow from Cadv's Cove knocked a hoie iu the bottom of a fryin" pan, over Dun Tuck er's head, and left it hangiu' roaud his neck, the handle flyin" about Eke a long iail cue. auu tbar it hung tiil Jake Tuurman cut it off with a coal chisel next day 1 That was his share for that night sure. Another fellow got knocked into a meal barrel ; he was as mealy as an Irish later and as hot a- a bo-- radish; when Le bunted t'ue hoops and caine out he rared a few ! Two fellers fit out of the door, down the bill into the creek, aud there ended it in a qniet way all alone. A perfect male from Stock Creek hit me a wipe with a pair of windiu' blades ; he made kiudlin* wood of them, and I lit on him. We had it head and tails for a very long time, ail over the bouse, but if the truth must be told and shame my kin. he warp-d me nice : jest to save time lie hollered. The lickiu" lie gave me sorter unea sy and hostile like ; it waks.aed icy wolf wide aweke. The little fiddle came scronsrin* pest boldin' bis rt.idie up over his head to keep it in tune, f-r the fiirhtin* wa- -jetting tolerably brisk. Y rt u are the one thinks I, end jtst •grabbed the dough tray and split it p'nm over liis head f He rotted down rieht thar, ami T paddled bis t'other end with one of the ]eice- Whilst I us' mohfying my feelings in that way. his g?! stepped up behind ine and fetch ed tae a rake with the {lot-hooks Jn!e Saw yer was thar. and jtst annexed with her. riirht off. and R nvjhty nice file it was. Ju!e stripped and checked her face nice. like a partridre net hang on a white fence. She h-dlered for her fiddler, but oh, shaw! he couldn't do her a bit of : he was too busy rabbin" his bro ken head, and then his bii>tem) extremities : so when I thought Jnle had given her a plen ty. I pailcd her off. and pat iu a good humor, by iriiiii heT soft—awder. Well, I thought at first if I had a drink J'J lie done. o I started for tire creek, ami the first thing I saw was more dars with my eyes shut than I ever did with them open. I looked aronnd. and it was the little fiddler's big brother ' I krowed what it meant, -o we locked lor:r without a wrH, thar a!? akme, and I do think we fit an hour At last some of the feflerw beam the jolts at the house, they cum and dag us out, for we had fit into a hole where a big pine stomp had burnt out and there we wa. Un to ocr girths, a away face to face, and no dodgia*.— Xe ;< S. taf rbe heart !%t *l* -eicr tcttds rei•" ' when t 4:I: VOL. XVIII. —NO. 7. PRATING TO THE. Porxr.— A certain lawyer who dwelt in one of onr New England towns noted for his over-reaching and short comings —duringa revival came under conviction, and requested prayers for the furtherance of hi* conversation. His appeal was rc.j>onded to by one of the saints, an eeeentric but very pi ous old man—honest, plain, blunt. square-toed and flat-f<otod, who thrw went at rt : 44 We do most earnestly entreat thee, O Lord, to sanctify onr penitent brother, liere ; till his heart with goodnee* and grace, so that lie shall hereafter forsake his evil ways ami follow in the right path. We do not know, however, that it is required of him, who has appropriated worldly .goods to himself unlawful ly and dishonestly, that he shall make restitu tion four-fold ; but we IK seech thee to have mercy on this, onr erring brother, as it would he impossible for him to do that, and let him off for the liest he can do without beggaring him entirely, by paying twenty-five cents on a dollar.'' THE Coi r.Aor OK SCIENCE. —Courage in the battle field is celebrated in history and song ; hot little is said of the conrage exhibited in pursuing scientific investigations thongh often displayed more real elements of bravery than ever were called into action in war. It is said that when Arngo and Dulong were employed by the French government npon the snbject of the construction ami safety of steam boilers, the task executed by the two philosophers was one of as much danger as difficulty. The burst ing of boilers to which they were constantly exposed in a limited locality, was more hazard ous than than of shells npon a battle field ; and while military officers who assisted them— men of tried conrage in the conflict—grew pale and fled from the scene, the snrans proceeded coolly to make their calculation, and to observe the ternjieratnrc and pressure npon boilers al most at the very point of explosion. As INFIDEL RF.BIKEO. —An inGdel, boast ing in a published letter that he had raised two acres of 44 Sunday com,*' which he intend ed to derofc to the purchase of infidel books, adds : 44 All the work done on it was done on Sunday, and it will yield some seventy bushels to the acre ; so I don't see but that Nature, <£■ Providence, has smiled upon my Suuday work, however the priests or the Bible may say that work dnc on that day never pros pers. My corn tells another story."' To this the editor of au agricultural paper replies : 4i If the author of this shallow nonsense bad read the Bible half as much as he has the works of its optioaents, he would have known that the great Kuier of the universe docs not always square up his aecouuts with mankind ia the month of October.*' H"W TO TAKF. orr inr .STENT.—Sitting on the piazza of the Cataract, was a young fop i-b looking gentleman, his garments very high ly scented with a mingled odor of musk and cologne. A solemn-faced old man, after pas sing the dandy several times with a look of aversion which drew general notice, suddenly stopped and. in a confidential tone said. 44 Stranger. I know what'll take that scent out of your clothes : you *' 44 What ! what ! do you mean, sir ?' said the exquisite, fired with indignation, starting from his chair. 44 O. get mad, now—swear, pitch around and fight liecause a man wants to do you a kindness !** coolly replied the stranger. 44 But I tell you I do Incic what'll take out that *mei!—phew ! You must bury yonr clothes —bury 'cm a day or two. Uncle Josh got a foul of a skunk, and he " At that instant there went up from the crowd a simultaneous roar of merriment, and the dandy very sensibly 44 cleared the coop,"' and rushed up stairs. IriV. Kraatralaat"- wife has a great fancy for country life, and insists on keeping a ben iu the itfek yard, as Hood rays, "to furnish milk, batter and "ggs." for the family. Tin other day she came to Knintsalaat in great trepidation. "My dear," said she. "the hen has commo* red to set. I took the ezg* away from her, ami she is setting now on 'he corner of the coal-bin, on an old axe-head !" "Well, my dear." re-ponded Kransalaat. in his sub dued hiiion- way, "if the hen is setting oa au ou axe-head, it seems quite likely she may hatch-it." IZzT Major X , uj*>n lieing asked if he was seriously inured by the landing of a steamer, relied 44 that he was not, as he had. been blown up so many times by his wife, that a mere steamer explosion had uo effect on him whatever.*' JhtT A liiotmjdiy of Robespierre, publish ed in a late Iri-h paper, conclude with the following remarkable sentence : " This extra ordinary man loft no children behind him. ex cept his brother, who was killed at tbe sarnie time." 9r&"' Voir husband seetns to tie • great favorite arret jr the ladies," said Mrs Jones to Mr. Butterwood the other day ** Yes." *ard Mrs li., but for the life of me 1 don't see where they "find anything to like 1 never could." feaT 4 T'Kis —Hallo, Fred? what ycu writing ; poetry ? Fred—Yes, Fm writing an owed ode> to my tailor. Tom—What's the time and time? Fred—Time sixty days. It's e; to notes of mine in his jwssessioii. •aiT An Irishman who liTed in an attir. br ing aAed what part of the bouse he occupied, answered— ** if the bene wua turned fcopsy ur*y. I'd be b*us* oo tbe first lour. A VttszUL*m Intir — frhw-r fr-" 4 "• of rwr%r*f? T 44 *-*X r CS.!~ J It rc X.IZ S. w.-brv. • C~p~
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers