Bradford reporter. (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, May 01, 1852, Image 1

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118 =ZO
ITlorninc,'Stan 1. 1852. F
.*Eltrtrit puttrq.
From Heaven there comes a voice of cheer,
In sunshine and in shade; •
Though oft in tones we will not hear,
When most we need their aid. _ •
Did i. but listen, we should feel
Our heavy hearts grow light;
And liather strength , in woe or weal,
To tread the path of right. - •
It whispers o'er the cradled child.
Fast lock'd in Nacettil sleep,
Ere its pure soul is sin4hegailed,
Ere sorrow bids it weep.
It soothes the mother's ear with hope,
Luke sweet hells' silyer chime,
tad bodies forta the nknown scope
Of dark mysterittue u Time.
Tip heard in manhooirs.risen day,
And n ee. the vtul to might.
When I t ( blue. forth with fullest ray,
Forma filing least of night.
It speaks of noble ends to gain,
A world to mend by love.
That tempers strength of hand and brain,
With softness of the dove.
It falls upon the aged ear,
Though deaf to human voice;
And when man's evening closgs drear,
It bids him still rejoice.
It tells of bliss beyond the grave,
The parted soul to thfill ;
The guerdon of the truly brave,
Who fought tbe power of
From Sartam's Singnime.
Raymond Warren a " nice . ' man—every.
body's clever fellow. as I heard a public man once
a very exterieive office," with nutner-
remark ,
rius dines never discharged. Raymond used to
tit in the chimney corner late, very late on a win•
ier's night, because he vr-as too starless to get ready
for bed. But aler a whtie the fire burned, low—
the glow on the embers faded, and it grew cold in
thectumney corner; then Rarnond became' chilly
tnid he weclil sneak to rest, where his wile perhaps
had b een in t several hours, endeavoring, to 'recover
from the severe fatigue of a day's work, into which
flail been crowded the greater portion of het hias.
band'e legitimate duties. Raymond owned a large
farm, left him by 'his lather, It was good land, but
the feewes were not itt repair, and evervhndy's cat
Ile roamed itrou.di tkte and Raymond's crops
were no', suflicient to yield the family a decent4up.
port. The 1.11111 had once been well stoCked, but
for want of proper attention the cattle became -poor
—the F beep were never foiled, even the most rig
orous ‘;;eather t and many at them died. The wool
was never properly sheared and washed, and when
taken to market it would. not bring the market price
Had it not been for Raymond's wife, who was a
woman, the family mast often have Buff-
eyed for the corn rOn necessaries of life
Raymond's chores were rarely attended to by
Inmsell, but was a neighbor,sick, no man was more
wok in his Owe. He was retie 10pin
as a ma n who wont ( ' 4),yayl neglect his own inter
ests, to look. alter
, those of somebody else He could
rterer qe , hirnqelt at his own farm work. hit he was
ePtl'l , lo.e I an e‘cf-lietit timid, when, to oblige a
rie,:hb, he ra .k a jab in tits field.'
'IT was a bleak niontinz in mid triplet.. Ray
vital Warrett . A wite wag , in the barnlard 'odder
cattle-11:tymond was bed. Th:4 light
of a busk tire which ht.• wife had built, shone di
rectly in his face. 01 awakened him—the room
Iva., warm. and %mond was persuaded by its in-
vthrt ap,)earanCe. to He sat down tby the
fire place l in 111.4 shirt isleeves, and waned for hie
wife to cone and get diim some breakfast. As he
warmed air: term he felt that he had reason to con
patulate ,nmself on his happy situation, and he
said m ;iirriise
T 4 1 4 .1 every maitre got Foch a wife as I have.
Here khe's made a good fire, and 111 bet the chores
nre all ,11,ne."
The chores were done, and Raymond had scarce
i tits snirloyiy, when the u.efu I wife hast.
eves! , a the fire place m warm her haada, which
had been lhornet.thly chilled by the cold hantile of
porbtolk, -anti which Fite intil been throwing
hay and straw to the cattle.
It muzlit be supposed that these occurrences took
1 44 eP the inorniruz—rot sn, It was ten o'-
vlock *hen Raymond Warren lett his bed. His
41 bee" sewing tar two hours, befOre she
PrePtfl-111,.r t,ri rklaeo,. then she urged Raymund ,
tot 'anitiour longe r to get up. He made faint protni
oes but letilhern unfulfilled. She waited until it
v:as rule n'c;ock, and knowing her hueband's easy
habi s ; and a-harned to hare the cattle tinfed at that
hour 01 the rimy, she determined to attend to their
wants l iierseif.
R".YTiad:s first salutation to her as she stood by
Ibe fire was :
" I mr<lr I had spine tea, Sally--:bit never ntind,.
You put the things away, a little warm water, with
a milk and sugar in it, will do just as well,'
and while you're about it you may get roe a little
piece pf bread ; but just as you choose, no matter
about it anyhow. Tlin't everyman has got Barb a
woman for a wife." .• '
She might have answered
"It is Hot every wilnian that has got such a has.
But she knew such remed' would only make
borer leelings, and though fatigued with the violent
exercise she had taken, she went cheerfully and
Prepared her easy,,goodgatureditusband a cap - of
tea, and then asked hint if he' svouldinot split some
"Te,be sure I willin•was hie 'response. -
Ilia breakfast over, he took 1p his aze,l'mounlie
the wood pile and cat half a dozen allele, when a
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PA 818.
- • t'
neighbor_caine, who wanted Raymond to
piny tdrii% a Raw mill,: about two milei,
and as,Sist ;him in;loatling some boards. Of o
Raymentl went, and his wife was comjiellei to cut
wood enough .110 keep the house warn. until !helot
lowing day.
Mrs. Warren was in. appearance a fee't4e wo
man, but she had endured hardships which !woe!!
have destroyed the constitution of one more anbust.
Day 'after clay her strength failed her, yet she matte
no'complaint. Raymond saw that She grew pale,
and was often disturbed with fears in regard to her,
but he was too easy to mention the suliject.and the
useful wife became more and moriVfeeble, mod
ehe was seized with -a violent. eOugh. Raymoiai
was one day thouglutuf enough to speak to the,vil
lage doctor as he passed their house with his pon
derous medicine portmanteau on his arm, and the
benevolent gentleman, who had iorne knowledge
of Raymond's peculiar feelings, lett the woman an
innocent tincture, and torbai%!expostitelto the cold
atmosphere under any circumstance's'. and also de.
dared I at her complaint was of,a cttracter very
notch aggravated by'7l..evere exercise,
For a few days Raymond remembered the doc
tor's counsel, and as' he had , rejpeei fur the physi-•
ciao, he obeyed him as nearly as his mist' mional
failitigs permitted, bat sou i the wife was again
obliged to chop wood and feed .caate, and taking a
severe cold, she fade; as would fade the summer
rose in a frigid climate.
When Raymond Warren's house was trasolate
and his fireside cheerless, he saw what had been
his great error during:the two years of his married
life, and he mourned has wife deeply,. it must be
said in his favor, both as a helpmate and a com
panion. He rented his farm and managed to ex
ist " easily" for ode year, but he was a' domestic
man—he was not satisfied with a cNildless Widow
-1 er's solitary lot,arid he began to look about him for
a second helpmate and companion. Iln a few
months he took to his home a woman ! whom he
confidently felt wound fill the place left 'vacant by
his first wife.. Sadly was Raymond disappointed.
A few weeks elapsed and he into his old
habit, with comple.e abandon. L
, Leaving his town
work in a neglected state, he kyorkeil dilligently
one day to assist a neeghbar in getting wood to his
house, and he returned to his home, late at night,
hungry, and fatigued, expecting that hi4ltife would
have !early for his rekeshmeni an inviting supper
in this hope, he had refused to take supper with
the neighbor whom he had assistthl. Poor fellow !
the kitchen, where was to have been his excellent
supper, attended by a smiling wife . , was cold and
unoccupied No frugal board was ihere, and Mrs
Warren was in bed ft:iyiriiiii.l w.c. much astonish
ed but was too _tent nn tri-d n cfartela,il
lently he venter. tolo e‘;•!..n. Ilt, l'or
crust on Witirlo to Lola
titi. Not a crust was there. It %rat+. evt,lPtil his
wile ha I designed that he should go to bed
less; and suppeiless to bed he did go, grieving se
rinnsly over his hard lot. tie had ne%er before been
so badly treated, and he liought it indeed dtstress
ing, but yet his disappointment was not sail eno3uls
to revolutionize his constitutionil good nature, and
without a mutter he fell sound asleep.
likymend Warren did riot hear charnieleer salute
the morning, as it dawned after the night* his
grievous disappointment. It was spring time, and
the birds senzunilei his window, hut lie heard them
; yet he heard his wife, who II id risen belie(
k_ih e pip, rail 1111 him
NI,. Wait..., li , re I've hero aa hour jr,
COM. The wqcv , rp all taimed; lintel had s"me ,
eat. If you want .11'1) tneakfaat y 011,4111,1 Geller
Was Raymond dreaming ? W.IA this a voice of
reproach that came to him to his sleep, with rec.
,ollectiOns of the wife that had gone before tom to
the Spirit Land ? Not so—it was a voice from the
wile that dwelt with him mthis sphere of existence,
that cams to remind him of duties, tiESt discharged,
upon the performance of which depended the sat.
Isfaction of those desires which had intruded visions
of feasts upon his hours of rest. Allt this he felt;
still he did not oiler to leave his couch.
Raymorld Warren," again said the voice
, t you left me yesterday without woral, to help a
neighbor get vernal for his wife. and 'von went to
bed last sight willow your supper Yriall not get
a bite to eat ir9 this house till you bring me' worst
to cook it with."
"There's plenty of chips," said Raymond, 111
palliation, rising on his elbow as he spoke..
"'Get up, doll, and bring them into the house."
said the resolute wife "I didn't know you when
we were married. but I know you 110 w. I know
what killed your first wife You want to make a
slave of Me. I'll attend to my duties ; but if 3on
don't do your chores, the cattle may sta r ve, m i d
you'll never get a bite in this house unless you take
it uncooked, it VII don't cut wood yourself or get
somebody toslo' it for you."
Raymond started bolt upright. and it was not
o rniliutes,before he was at the wood pile—
Diligently did he work until he had cut an armful,
which, like a tlntituLhasband, for the first time in
his life, he carried into the kitchen.
His wife made no allusion to whet had passed
between them, and Ramond, although b - Mning with
curiosity to know wlferiEshe had learned what she
had revealed to him, dared not commence conver
sation in relation to it. The train of evils it might
.revive was fearful p 3 the easy man's mind.. His
breakfast over, forgetful of "its lesson, tarelesi Ray
mond - wandered away from home, his necessary
morning labors.iri his farm yard unattended to, and
his wood pile unvisited. He returned home-at noon,.
strong in the that sit down to - ROW
dinner, because he was One.of thosemen whelhirtk
that wife should al ways.giire her husband'a good
dinner whether she haS anything to cook or not:—
hirs i i%Versen had.enough to Obok, but nenhin4 to,
conk:with ;. horreet,mneh to Raymond's 'Warne
tionf when lie entered hie hoinehe Wend ;he:table
elirend;"and he knew he ebould.soon be inyite
take a seal near it.
'! atiraatimEss ok DE:curlers:nom mom ANY Vituatati."
'When the Invitation, same, he hastened to his,
ac.customed , seat, lifted the cover from a.disk that
he suppos contained meat; and, truly, there: WWI'
meat, but jus it came from the butcher. fiap
mond was not a cannibal; he looked at. his• wife
inquiringly; she appeared to be waiting patiently'
to be served. He lilted the cover of Unifier dish ;
there were potatoes just as they had been dug from
the earth. All the dishes that usually contained
victuals were covered. Raymond:grew suspicious,
ilnd he lifted the covers hastily. There was bread,
as it had come from the tray t there were turnips
.thiit had never been under the influence of fire;
there were apple 4 handsomely sliced for sauce, and
there were numerous other edibles, but nonts of
them could Raymond eat. He turned for-consida
ti,ot to a cup of tea his wife 11n1 deposited near his
pf..te. Thole were tea leaves floating in' the cup,
but the tea- looked remarkably rale; nevotheless,
Raymond, by force of habit, blew it vigorrably to
prepare it for his pals e. But when he put it to his
itps, he found that he had Wasted lie breath ; for
the water was as cold as when it came from the
vi log
Raymond was not a Wtty man. He pushed
back his chair deliberately, s tud thou2ht aloud :
4 : In the name of }leaven what does this mean r
Mrs Warren, whose co6nrettaiice during this
scrne had worn a sober asirect," now smiled and
(The victuals were all on the stove the usual
" It's strange they are not cooked," said Ray
" Not at all," replied Mrs. NVarren ; " there was
no wood to cook them with."
In an instant Easy Warren then saw what a
it moral" there was in his novel dinner, and with a
keen appetite, he went to work on the wood pile.
He took his dinner and supper together on that day,
and remembered what Mrs. Warren said :
" Now, Raymond, whenever you leave me with
out Wood you must eat victuals that have been
.cooked on a cold stove."
Many women would have stormed' anti scolded,
but Mrs. Warren knew there was a better way to
correct her easy husband's carelessness, or shiftless-
ness, as the reader I leases.
One day there was no floor in the house, and
Raymond was about to go with some neighbors to
a town meeting, when his wife hid his best coal,
and reminded him of the empty flour barrel. An
other day his corn was to he gathered, when a
neighbor desired him to assist hint with his horses
and vragon. It was a neighbor who often receivsd
favors, brit seldom rendered them. Rut, when he
went to hitch hi. horses before hittwagon, he found
that one ttf the wheel. was missing. Of course the
neighbor ditta l ,pointed. In the afternoon,
tvt,", R iyti,•" id expre: , -eda 'tisk to draw his corn,
In- •wifo hint where het Could; find his wagon
wl:et. I.•
Thus was Easy Warren's hnusehold managed,
until he he2ati to realize practicall). What itle error
of his life had been Peril)le said: Warren's
farm lonk• • much beOr than it did 'rome yews ago"
Mre Warren never interfered ivith Itaymond•',
business except when-he neglected it, and then she
never tound fault or scolded,-but took occasion to
hr')w his select to him in a manner which - im•
pressed him will his injustice to this own interest.
RAyniond's cattle were well cared tor, and were
tit ,„
order When his fences Were down if he
do ! jet teidive them, los wife emp4ed a neigh
bor to make the necessary repairs !Its wile took
the papers and read ; she knew the state of the
market, and, to oblige her Raymond had his grain
in market when the prims,was highest.' Some peo ,
pie said :
' hostend."
_all Warren is a henpecked hush n:.
fin Che knew better; and often boa4ed that his
wife was more - of a business man," than' he was
They had lived together peaceably some years,
when one - day,Raymond was in a good humor
thinking over his .prosperoue condition, and he told
his wale
" I'm a woman's rights man of the true grit.=
They may say you wear the breeches, if they please
I'm sattsfied to have you do the thinking for onr
firm. And now I see what a fool I have been, I
must mirke up.fpr my early shibleisness ; and, on•
der hi: jUthettskil wile's training, he became Ind us-
MOH* instead of Easy Warren.
Mts. Warren had tne correct idea of woman's
oghts B,IJ Alififill'A wrongs We commend her
manauement to those who have " easy husbands."
E-iscreolly do we commend it to those unfortunate
c. omen who have earned for themselves the op
;,probious title of scolds."
YATCEI 1t 46ING.—Alnwst every body knows
what a watch is, am' moat people understand its
use ; hot afar all, very few are aware of its curious
mechanism, nor have they any idea of the number
of pieces of which it is composed. It is in fact one
of the greatest curiositiekthat !Inman invention ev•
er produced.
" Mr.. Dent, in a i 4lectore before.the Londmi Royal
Institute, made in allusion ta the formation of a
Watch, in whichpe slated that a watch consisted of
992 pieces ; and stated that 23 trades, and probably
215 perserts are employed in malting one of those
;The iron of which the balance-spring is formed,
is valued at something less than a farthing; this
liroduces an ounce of steel, which is worth did:,
which is drawn into 2250 - yards of steel wire, and
represents in the market $643.
Still another process ot harder2ingthits originally
fartaing.worth of iron, Tenders it workable into 7850
balance.springs, which will realize, at the common
price, 2s. dd. each,,f.B4d the effects - of tab - or
alone. This it may be seen the mere labor bestow.
ed upon a farthing worth of iron pros it the nice
.of 046-55., or - 04552, which is 75,880 tiinei its
orightal Woe.
Who could believe that the email article ha car
ries in his pre - lilt to denote the; tirrieLotday,:mas
the work 4215 perms? yet it is (Wade's se, •
White,, the • temperance - lecturer. during his
wish to Mobile, last :spring, told the following' aneo•
dote in one addreaisert, to ;illustrate the inffn•
ence of a bad example in the formation et habits
ruinous in Their effect : •
Adam mad Mary his wife, who lived in the of
the old States, Were verY- good memberti
. of the
chart+, good sort of folks any way,and Mary thought
a great .; deal of her minister : , rindi the minister
thought a good deal of a glass of toddy.
Whenever the minister called .to make Mary a
visit, which was pretty often, she contrived to have
him a glass of toddy made, and the minister never
refused the toddy. Atter a while Adam got to fol
lowing the example of the minister to such an ex
tent that he became a—drank up every
thingl) he had, every thing ern Id get. Mary and he
become very poor in conseq erica of his following
the n inip•ter's example soelo sly. but the good mill
hoer continued his visits, an poor Mary continued
still in give the glass of todi
y. One day he called
in and told Mary that he as gping away for a
week—should return on Fli lav—and handed her a
book containing the catechi. , and told her when•
he returned he should exp• t she manta be abit to
answer some of the tines:tin s. Mary said Yes, and
laid the bOok away very ca chilly. But Mary, like
a good many other chore members, thought no
more of her book until the ery Friday that the good
minister was to return.
" that shall I do," says
be here, and 1 have
he gave me. How can 1 •
" I can tell you," said A. l
ter and let me go over to
good ram p and you Can a
Mary took the advieet
and a jug, and off he start..
filled and on his way ha
taste the rum. One taste
he stumbled over a pile ot
and lost the rum. Hut A
As soon as be got home
Iy for the bottle of rum.
rtim Adam?" Poor Ada
out "that he had stumble
broke the bottle and lost
fix—Adam drunk—the '
gone—and the question
comes the minister! It w tl
God to see Adam artirtk,'
ter place to hide hi - m, Feni
the . ttme he was fairly un
After sitting, a Va momerl
thought she could answer
" How rLd Adam fall ?'r
Mary turned her head, rst one way, and then
another, finally stammere4 out.;
" He fell over a pile of ?vas !"
It was now the minister's turn to look blank, but
he ventured another question :
" Where did he hide himself after hid fall?"
t‘ Under Flitted. sir!'
"There Adam, you may come out he knows all
about it."
Tile good minister retired—not even waiting for
a glass of toddy.
A good anecdote is narrated by Mr. Eaton in his
Annals of Warren. of one Bona.: who introduced
the first flock of sheep into that place. He brought
them tmm Pamaquie, by water, and while sitting
on ihiVrindlass one day got sleepy and began to
nod: The patriarch of the flock, taking it for a
challenge drew hack and knocked him sprawling
upon the deck Whereupon Boggs, more pugna
cious than wise, seized the old fellow by the wool
and chocked him overboard. But he got more
than he bargained for by tnis counter movement,
for the whole flock feeling bound in all cases to M.
low their leader, popped over after him ; and Boggs
being several miles horn land, was obliged to heave
.to, and-Vlith - much difficulty recovered them again.
He concluded that he had the worst of that battle,
at both ends—Me. Journal.
TouAcco--./tuvlce Mout Wssyrno —Tobacco
has spoiled and utterly mined thousand of boys, in.
diming a dangeronS precocity, developing the pas.
stops, softening and weakening tile boors ; and if
greatly injures the spinal marrow, the Main, and
dhe whole nervous foal. • A boy Who early and
freely smokes, or otherwise largely uses tobacco, is
never known to make a man of much energy of
character, and generally lacks physical and muscu
lar as well as Mental energy. To people older,.
who lire naturally nervous, and cortical:lily In the
phlegmatic, tobacco may be comparatively harm.
less, but even to these it is worse than uselesa.
We would particularly warn boys who want to be
anybody in the world, taslion tobacco as a deadly
The Haertecr MAN —LPt a man have all the
world can give him, he is dill miserable if he has
a groveling, unlettered, undevont mind. Let him
have his gardens, his fields and his lawns for grab
deur, plenty; ornament and gratification, while at
the same time . God is not at all in his .thoughts.
And let another have fields , orgardens ; lot him on.
ly look at nature With an enlightened mind : a mind
which can see and adore the Creator In hib works,
can conaider ttferii as derbonstrations of hie power,
his wisdom his goodness and troth—ibis man is
greateras well ad happier in his poverty . than the
otherin hiis riChes the one is little highirilum•file
beasti the other a little lowei than the angel.
,They story in the pitime that ,a
member of the Legislature of Am Stetetwent 1 - o,e
party the other evening, end was so muckplemed
with the /agar Aim - that he asked fora: few 'fire
Ito taktihninn M. plant: 'Atilt* Me hist trait heAVer
tasted,. and his children wouldledelighted in ihem - ,.
The mere Wiles tim That theist of April; how
at hand,: is the day to plant them.
she, 4, the minister is to
of looked (rile the book
,'sayer the Tiestions?"
am, " give me a quay
Smith's and/ get some
i swer his questions with
ave Adam the quarter
d After getting his jug
i. e, Adam concluded to
erought on another, until
rocks and brlke the jng,
k arts managed M stag,ger
, Mary inquired anxious
" Where jape bottle of
managedq stammer
I over a pilehif rocks and
e rum " Mary was in a
inister coming—the
unlearned. "Bat here
(11( 1 11't do for a man of
so she for want of a bet.
him under the bed. ity
der, in came the mirister•
is, he asked Mary if she
ithe questions:
treieL!s).•.:-vv - e
k - m - T .- ts; - monasetuosZaM
Arts auk the Sapttuna:
A day or' two since,. wbilellseated in the editor'.
al depariment'of 'ern establishment; posting-books,
pundering,OCi, debts dulincluents; and
showering `.loft.hatid4l blesaingi On, the gredit By&
tem; 'our reveries were'suddenly broken- in .upon
by the entrance of a subscriber Who has taken the
Standard for sevati: Yea* time be
had paid on account 0 iindars, dittugeuti
!" thought we , hqre's a 'prorttise to pay one of
these Vag's." A mistake U the( cciniTisaffon here
. _
proves :
Sulocriber—Mr. Printer, I believe I have token,
yoUr paper about—let merree-rth,..yes about seven
years ; end.about oil that , time, too, t b‘ail3 lived
of Portage ; hoir ,you havr,s, lived, I do
not know, but precious little of- my money have,
you.fiugered. Howlivef,
.make me Out a receipt
now, here's" your money. . .
(Subscriber deposits $ll on the table, winch the
editor grasps nervously for fear the enbreriber's
mind will' change, and fills out gt receipt. 'Exit
ettlxrcrif3er.) . •
As might naturally be supposed, the thermome
ter of the editor's leeling,s went up into sunshibe 14
per cent. Another rap at the door—,
c• Come in 1 1 '
[Tall countryman enters.] -
Countryman—Well, Mr. Newspaperman,_ how
tly'e do I Reen taken your paper a dingnation of
a while, and, it is a long time since I 'paid any.
thing. Wooldn't be with out it no how—as your
list of market prices saves me fitty dollars a year
Really too bad that) hasn't attended to it sooner.—
HOor much is it!
Editor (running his eye over the Ledger)—.ob,
here it is—two and one's three, and two are five
[Countryman . deposits hair a saw-horse, takes
his receipt, bids editqr good bye, and ♦amuses.]
Another rap I .` What, not another customer !
Awl live ilia !
(Enter, Irish sabacriber from
. the Motiniain.)
Irishman—Row are yew Bad lock to wea
sel!, but its owing this paper fora long time I am,
and sure a good wan it is—sorra a bother, barrio'
shim from the ould counthry., For what am I en
due gees
(Editor refers to the book )
Editor—Two years and six—:months--five
[lrishman deposits a yellow coin bearing the lift=
ipression of the American "eagle," pockets the
raysait" he calls for and is ofl .l
Sanctum becomes pleasant, everything in it has
a brilliant hue--evisa the rattling of the sleet against
the window panes has a.charaiing sound. By Jove
another knock ! 4 1 Walk in !" May Ibe shot if
it isn't G., another fourteen dollar aebta. Oh, 'it
cannot be possible that he is a going to pay Yes
he is !—by the beard of the prophet, he jerketh his
G —Well, old fellow, inn ha r e dunned me pret-
ty often, but of course I couldn't begin to blame
yob for it. I determined to put it out of your pow
er to dun rze again for a while, when Capt. West
made this payment. Let me see, foUtteen dollars
I believe you said it was, eh 1
4 Editor (rubbing his hands with glee)—Exactly
which - pays up to the 15:h of next April.
G.—Here-is fifteen dollars—just credit me a dol
lar in advance. Exit subicriber )
F r (solar)—A weight traristeived iroai your
coli.eience to our pocket.
(Editor proceeds to enter a credit and sings".oa
thus may it ever be—" when the acing is cut short
by 'the entrance of a German patron I
German subsoriber—Vell, we gates, Mr. Brinter,
heh ? Owe you for ter bapers, heh, how much
Can't teat :web, rnineself but Mine chiltren say
ter musht hay ter baper, and I gees if toy musht
haf him, terthl man.musht bayl heh (German
subscriber who is armed, ing of ti wag, chuckles
and gives the editor a aigin the ribs.) ' '
Editor—Squire your bill is cit 4 five dollars.
German subscriber—Five tolla'r ;ISt ish-vor be.
hind, and five 1 bays you ahead—Vieh makes
den.' '
(Germ'an subscriber pulls out an old stocking,
and counts down out of it twenty bright half-dollars.
Editor's eyes di'ate, he beeomes exceedingly 'ner
vous and shows symplona,of Ilying oft the handle!
FAO patron.)
,The Sky is clouded : but it never looked better
-:.the light wai never strnnger. Thal horrors of a
-l i trtg winter are forgotten, and sunshine reigns' in
the heart. F%ett the accordeon in the book-store
underneath; which a lew moments ago made air
execrable noiite, is now making passable mdsic.ln
the exuberance of his spirt, he could have Shaken
hand with his bi.terest enemy: (A hevvY steii is
heard .on the stairs What !at it ,pisSaiWe r The
streak hes been ISO good than it must be_ a call on
the other side.
(Door opens enters L) ,
Jerusalem !If he• paya the Cnillenium is at hand
, and the nett sound strip be a blast from the final
trumpet. • •
my hearty, • Y have just 'succeeded in
collecting some old accounts and as I owe -iyen , a
considerable of a. bill, I thought Icpuld to '
ter than let you,haee atrilfe on acConni.,
Editor, (strongly impressed - with the ttameotiin.
ion)-IJndei 4 such chteinsutticei in the Aigitgeage
01 Dummj 411eti; • -- •
Happy to - meet4air,ly -torfao.‘-ititili
• •hajiP9 to meet agaib 0 , „X • .
• (I. - detiOsitit*o X's on 'the fable; ditaii - the . eniiy
Ind leaves.) , •
Editbt has reached.nstaltsofOriect
Whistles Dolly ' Day , 'with: 4aitatlcitie;f4hii. the
,ettnetarn.adrir againopene,.,lii44
• Whig:—Metre!ir - 1 'l!:in tototoeb pt,n!etii a
email bfl tar ;itPrOt!isir.g..
1426 .advocatihteif would jail as epbit twines*
wittrtme party •
.nirfanotner - besides :be!idt knowlion
htie moo , ti Melina' la lair*iticikin:thill+ibijiity'
and in 5110, t know irhat'n
• '
" -
- Willatte -Oa
Editor--Good Yowl ill is $9 MY,
oijia; hands overi ' new adv_•ertisemefit
and leaves.) .; ' -
;Anotlier knock !;.- Walk
(Enter a leani long,,:lanki - cadaverinni. hsolcing,
middle aged geritleinan, dressed in blaci with white
neckcloth. Editnr takes-him for a:preoefter, and
bows deferentially.)
Stranger--I_ t• the _ravelling Agent of Docter
Julius 0. Killemolrs Universal Regenerating De.
pnratiTe ResinTerken Sytup,,, which I Wish to ad:
_vertise in your paper.
[Editor lights a cigar, cocks. his legs up on the
able and teels very independenil
Editor—WeNonli advertise quack medicines at
. .
his establishment unless it is'paid for in '
Agent--Exclart me,' but this is no quack medi
bine but one lay reeeornmended by the faculty.
What are your t ine for half a column a gear in
sidirance 1• - r , '
..Eilitor—Twe L . dollais.
' [Agent do —. 41 appear to be a bit taken aback,
as is as usual 1 -;: _
ch occasions, but draws his Port.
monate ] :( I t
, .
Agent—H; -'s five, and five are ten, and ten t
[Scene sitddenly ehang4 ; editorial room and /
lank agent fade away ; Editor finds himself at home
in bed ; wife shaking him.]
Wife—lt is six o'clock. Ain't you a going to 1
market 1 i
Editor (nightly riled)—Everlasting pLdition
seize the market. Didn't I tell you last 1 night I
had no markrit money It
[Editor nalsover and tries to continue th e e dream --
inn the churn is broken, the spell iirgone,l and all i
.that remains in an uneazy doze, whiz!' is iterrupt
ed by the Junior of the family h e ptriding im for 7
il l
a horse, and clutching his hair for a bridle ' reign.]C'
(Scene changes to breakfast table.) t
Wife—l should like , to know what you were a
dreaming about this morning. - i
Editor—Why ,
Wile—Because when I awoke you, you Cimtinn
e/d grumbling in unintelligible language. The on
ly thing I could understand, was,
," it's anl infernal
shame yoti didn't wait until it was a hundred--
enough - to buy paper."
[Editor gives a ghastly grin, seizes his hat rush. -
es out of the house, goes to the office, andt—works
off the outside I
Tut LITTLE CHILD is dead Moves° ly round
the house ; , tread ter erently, when you ar near the
room where the beautiful form lies in it. little cof
fin. How still; the very shroud seemed sculptur
ed ; you never knew how lovely he was ; out Crow ;
you never kneer half his gentle virtues. Over your
heart the memory-of his sweet smile hovers likean
angel.; his:eye wits brighter than any of you will
ever see again; his . voice more musics! than tbe
sweetest lute. Oh! why does the schoOlbey langl*
and shotirsiVert beneath the window wh f ere he lisei
why will the steanger pass unheeding_l,. How esti
travellers rattle by so heedlessly bow can the
world, the heartless world, go on with! its showe t
ins ft Ives, itspleasure.seeking, its tumdlts of peace
and war s joy and hatred, when loving happy heart
ed Willy steep's unknowing all l /
Alas ! the little child is dead, and tam would thir
strickefi soul ;clothe all the world in mburnine
A GOon h3l2.—Always be more solicitous to
preserve your innocence than corinemrd to prove
it. It will [torn do to seek a good na aas a prim'.
my object., Like trying to be gracef , the eflott
to be papal:Li; will make you con'em ible. - Take
care of your , spirit and Conduct, and y ur reputation
will take care of itselL - The most tha you are calL
ed to do as a guardian of your ; reputat on, is to rev
I move injurious aspersions. Lei not ur good be
-evil spoken of, and follow the higbes examples it l ?
Mild and exp:icit soli vindication. o reputatioh
can be perokanant which does not apt ng from prin
ciple, and he who would maintain a ood character
should be mainly solicitous toMaintai a good l ehar -
;toter void of offence tovratds acid' and fowarffs.
Methodist notoriety mod to tell 'one
i l
, as productive of instruction motif les'
. k. He woald
somminies refer to a certain Joe W eaion, 1-prea
cher, who was so hurablti t u n he it nid again and
again call himself ads Wheaton, . e weakest of
God's creatures. ' #
, .
A colored brother one followed Joe, in the ex.
'seiot the meeting Who in his t m eq*at
modesty and propriety, solicited t 'e atterAionj of
the c l on'gregation tolhe testimony .1 - lite Wieak,:np- ;
T all God's creatures, except Joe 15' damn. 'rho eat
is a lesson as well as a laugh in thi, story. ,
A Garai . Mei; is aftable in flii co, iiersation, 'Fell
erous in hie temier, and immo!e,a , le in what he
has manirety , resolved .con. An. 4,_prceperity
dues not n)afie him itiaghiy anc(im e l riou.i, so nei
tiier does adversit,y, sink him into.= annes and de:
jeetiOn ; fo t riif he(eier - allows•thorp pirit than midi
miry ; ii is' when he is 111:rise4:and the e • O‘ld is
frowning opon,llim„ IR shottlie is qually re'mor
ed•from-.the exOemesoi eerkility • a d pride, ;nd
scans to trample on, a worm or cnnge to ,an Emp
eror. • , ..
gceani of ink, and seams of paper,a nd t
inhrike might have heir% spared, if wcar!glers had
avoided torch of etrite at the wrong and
Ainee a tenth part,o(the pains expended in atieript
ing ptotrell3e. why, the where, and the, when
certain, events have happened, wotild have Veen
more than sufficient to wove that they never half •
- pened at ---
Wheti the , re..ulationk of 1,11 - est Fkrstrill
were drawn upTtko tattoos sentries were:chosen
for that purpose, One section %cp!' arisen, accept
ed and now stantls: i. tlinfr said proprie
tors meet tepidly the i . stTares:d.ry of June - 11°-
41410 the ratittOesfiol fall otilitipda) ')
. 1
ee, of earli