THE PITTSB.URG- DISPATCH. SUNDAY, OCTOBER 16. 1892. $jje Bigpafrlj. TtlMSHCU FEBRUARY 1MB. Vi'. -47, No 155 Entered at rittshurg Tostoffice c ember, lit7, as second-class matter. BUSINESS OFFICE, Cor. Smltlifleld and Diamond Street. h Rooms and rublisliing House, 78 and 80 Diamond Street, New Dispatch Building. EASTERN' ADVERTISING OFFICE. ROOM 7J, TRIBUM? BUILDING. NEW YORK, where complete flies of THE DISPATCH can alway be lound. THE DISPATCH Isonlaieat LEADINR HOTELS throughout the United States, and at Hrentano's, SUnion Sqtnre. New York, and 17 Avenue de i Opera, Paris. Franc. TJblOts OF J Hi; UIsPATtH. J-.STAOE FREE tS THE CNTTM) STATES. Daily Dispatch, OneYer. I 8 00 Daily Dispatch. Three Months " 00 Daily IHrvTC;t. One Month 70 Daily 1ispatcii, Including Minday. 1 ye't.r.. 10 CO Daily I srATCH. including Sunday., m'tlis. I BO Daily Dispatch. Including- bumlar. l month 90 tfXBAY Dipa cu. One Y-ar : 50 Weekly Dispatch. 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Erc-Secretarv Blaine's impromptu speech at Ophir Farm forcibly pointed out the issue cf the campaicn. It is one of busi ness. The Republican party stands un equivocally on its platform for protec tion and sound money. The Demo cratic platform is so hostile to the needs of our great industries that its can didates and leaders have bepn making themselves ridiculous by running away from it Besides, it comes out squarely ssainst what experience lias taught is sound currency. The question of econom ical administration of Government affairs was not considered by the platform mak ers of either party, and no other issues are heins talked of but protection and sound money. Mr. Blaine brings this home to the American people. Our business prosperi ty is at stake, and he points to the results of the Republican policy as the all-convincing argument for its continuance. The people know what that policy is. On ths other hand, they are left in the dark as to the Democratic policy. 1 he McKhiley law is assailed by Demo cratic speakers, hut not one of them has come forward with a schedule of duties to take its place. We are asked to take a leap in the dark. The only i nf ormation es to the schedule Democracy would sub stitute comes in the disjointed utterances of platform speakers who do not agree with each other. It is acainpai-m of business, andbusiness raen will only exercise their everyday sagacity when they insist on retaining a pihey that has been proved successful rather than on turning to one whose out lines lie in dangerous places and are too shadowy to distinguish. BETTER, THAN WILDCATS. The Xew York Times, m criticising Sen ator Sherman'3 speech indicating a cur rency issued directly from the Treasury; falls into the following cjaculatory mood, as a complete reply: And at this moment Mr. Sherman comes forward to propose a currency the sound ness of which depends absolutely on the will of Congress. And this is the plan of the only financial statesman m the Republican party! If that be the only path of saioty, the future of our currency is dark indeed. Considering that the soundness of the currency always has and always will de pend on the will of Congress, the objec tion is hardly so fatal as the Times seems to think. Congress must of necessity pre scribe the character of the money in which debts are paid, even tliosi of the precious State banks to which that jour nal's party is committed. Moreover, since r currency issued by the Treasury and de pending on the credit of the Government is what the Times objects to, it is pertinent to remark Hut the country has had ex perience enough of it during the past dec ode and a half to render the alarm of the Democratic party extremely factitious. However that may be, it is pertinent to My that such a plan is immensely superior to the one which, in addition to being de pendent on the will of Congress for the f-nundness of the currency in which State hank notes are to be redeemed, will be de pendent on 44 different Legislatures lor security that there will be any cur rency at all to redeem the notes. That is the Democratic plan, and it is the most vicious currency idea with which this country wasever afflicted. A CUSTOM OF ARISTOCRACY. The recent item of fashionable intelli gence from Xewpoit, to the effect that a grocer to whom Mrs Paran Stevens owed the very neat bill of 5550 has seized, through a deputy sheriff, the entire con tents of her stable, including two horses, seven carriages, a pony and cart and sev eral sets of harness, is regarded by the Washington Post as harrowing. That Journal indulges in extended moralizing on the subject, arriving at the conclusion that Mrs. Stevens should avoid such dis asters by attending to the grocery buying herself, strictly on a cash basis. The advice is of practical value to the common herd; but the esteemed Post misreads the matter as a development of lasluonable life. It is a necessary inci dent of tho reproduction of the aristo cratic customs of the Old World. For long centuries the aristocrats of the older country have been accustomed to let the bills ot the inferior tradespeople run up to infinite lengths, and the practice has been punctuated, if not emphasized, by occasional descents on tho equipages or other personal property of the aristoc racy. Tiicre has been a prolonged attempt to renew in our country the conditions and customs of European aristocracy; but this essential feature has been culpably over-, looked, Mrs. Paran Stevens has been the first to perceive that we cannot rejoice in a leal aristocracy until i has neglected the sordid prat lying hills and had their propert r the debt Her readiness to ii rsclf for tho great cause, even r stof going afoot or running up a livery bill, de serves the profound gratitude ot her less . devoted associates in the great cause of American aristocracy. It will be interesting to see what turn the work of living high life in America will take next It is to be hoped that no one will suggest to tho devotees of aristoc racy the necessity of getting up a-baccarat scandal. A GREAT MUNICIPALITY. The onlooker proverbially sees most of the game, and it is therefore not surpris ing to find a New York paper urging Pittsburg to enlarge its borders, while the inhabitants of this city fail to grasp the importance of the situation as they ouht. Whether Pittsburg should add to its s'.za by Incorporating Allegheny City and various surround ing suburbs and boroughs depends simply upon whether such a consolidation would be beneficial, not only to Pittsburg, but to the majority of those concerned. That there is something lo bj said on either side of the question is of course simply another way of saying that there is a question. But a careful consideration of the matter clearly indicates that the disadvantages are such as to be greatly outweighed by the advantages of a proper scheme of municipal incorporation. County officials have recently computed from the election registrations that the population of Allegheny comity has grown to 700,0u0, and this population is so concentrated that a new city of Pittsburg could and should be framed to contain over half a million of inhabitants. Hitherto the greatest objections urged to such a measure have been on the score of the unwieldiness of, and opportunities for corruption in, a city of such magni tude as well as the difficulties in the way of settling old debts and remodeling taxation. These can be avoided by adopting a system of centralized home rule. The various local governments should remain with their powers and responsibilities only so far modified as to permit the election of one Mayor, one set of Councils and one set of sanitary officers to have a general super vision of the whole new city. In this way immense advantages could be secured to all, in the better arrange ments for water supply, the improvement of rivers, harbors, bridges and general transit facilities, the perfection of san itation and sewerage systems, and generally the promotion of all that would foster the industrial in terests of the locality Over and above all this is the immense impetus which the further growth of Pittsburg would receive by the enhancement of its prestige in this manner. Details for such a movement can be easily arranged when once the citizens of these parts awaken from their slothfulness and realize that personal business interests are identical with and inseparable from the prosperity of the municipality as a whole. There is a great deal of commendable private en terprise in Pittsburg, but there is a.wo fully conspicuous apathy on matters mu nicipal. This apathy must go. It must be re placed by a healthy public spirited vigor and anew reputation must be made for the locality, since old reputations must cither increase or decline. Pittsburg and its surroundings are possessed of peculiar and magnificent advantages. And it is time that the inhabitants take hold of and make the most of them as they only can do by enepgetic co-operate action. Until this is done Pittsburg will never attain the exalted position among the cities of the country and the world which is hers by right AS ELIGIBLE LAUREATE. The discussion as to the laureateship has brought one suggestion that has the double virtue of a departure from the beaten path and of selecting a person worthy of the distinction. That is the suggestion to make Jean Ingelow the poet-laureate. There is no precedent for appointing a female laureate; but since the example of Sappho gives the feminine genius in this line a classic sanction, there is no good eason now in England why a laureate should not be of the same sex as the sovereign. As to qualifica tion Jean Ingelow will rank with any of the living pools. Tastes may differ as to her being of the first rank; but there can be no dispute that the author of the "High Tide," "The Songs of Seven" and "The Star's Monument" can take rank with any of the later poets. She is free from Swinburne's license, William Morris' socialism and Edwin Arnold's Pantheism. No living person meets the requirements so thoroughly as the gifted lady whose poetic fame was made two decades ago. The only objection, besides that of stupid conviction, is that her poetic work belongs to the past and she might not, perhaps, be facile in the production of odes to the Queen's latest great grandchild. But the departure from the sterretyped track is well worth making. If a laureate is to be appointed let it be Jean Ingelow. UNIMPEACHABLE TESTIMONY. The favorite assertion of the free traders that the high wages paid in this country are offset by the cheaper cost of living abroad, has already received some atten tion in the special correspondence of The Dispatch from abroad. The Philadel phia Press makes a very telling hit by producing extremely good Democratic testimony to the contrary. Since Peck committed treason to the Democratic party by letting his statistics come out the wrong way, Mr. J. Schoen hof has been recognized as the Democratic high priest on statistics connected with the tariff issue. Mr. Schoenhof was Con sul at Tuustatt, in England, during Mr. Cleveland's administration. In an official report on prices to the State Department, Mr. Schoenhof made the following state ments: "So tar as clothing and drygoods in gen eral are concorned, I find that cotton goods are fully as clieap in the United States ns here (England.) Shirtings and sbeotings, if anything, aro superior in quality for the same money with us, so far as I can Judge Horn the articles exposed for salo in retail stores. Articles of underwear for women, made of muslin, are far superior in work manship and finish and cheaper in price in the United States. Nor can I find tnat men's shirts, when chiefly of cotton, aro any cheaper here. Oi boots and shoes, if factory made, the same may be said." Ai tides made to order, be says, aro cheaper in England owing to the low prices paid tor hand labor. But be then says: "Tho difference in tho price of ready-made things is not so marked. In workmanship and finish I find corresponding articles of the wholesale process of manufacture su perior in the United States. - This is true of clothing as well as of collars, cuffs and like articles." The fact that the leading food staples prices are cheaper here than in England has been thoroughly stated. With the un impeachable assertion of Mr. Schoenhof as regards clothing, the Democracy can only fall back on house rent as the par ticular in which the English workingman is able to get a compensation for his lower wages. But as the American workingman does not, as a rule, pay as much for rent as the difference in wages between himself and the foreigners tho latter must not only get their house rent free but must be given a bonus, in order to mako things even. Another very valuable tcstinnny is that of M. Paul Deschanels, who was recently sent to this country by the French Govern ment to investigate the condition of our working people. He asserts that the cost of living in tho United States is not dearer than in France. These are his own words in answer to an Inquiry in Paris on the subject: You ask whothor living Is dearer in Amer ica. Tes and no. It depends on the nature of the expenses. The American expends more for his rent and for Ills clotHIng; but he spends less tor his food. For his rent the American pnys about 16 per cent of his en tire revenue, the Englishman II per cent, the Frenchman 8 per cent, the Belgian 47 per cent and the German 49 per cent. On the contrary, for his rood the American pays only 42 per cent, whereas the English man pays 47 per cent, the Frenchman 49 per cent. These are only approximate figures, subject to controversy, but tho general con clusion is exact ana according to tho reality of the facts ns I have observed them in all parts or the Union. M. Deschanels is fully as high authority as Mr. Schoenhof, but has not his peculiar standing in thp matter. Mr. Schoenhof is at present on a committee to prosecute the heretical Peck for publishing state ments contrary to Democratic Interest Since it appears that Schoenhof himself while a Democratic officeholder, commit ted the same misdemeanor should he not regard himself as in danger of the judg ment? CANADA'S TARIFF HISTORY. The review of Canada's tariff iiistory furnished by a special correspondent of The Dispatch is an interesting and in structive one. In mifny respects Canada presents a more recent and effective illus tration of the opposed policies of tariff adjustment than the United States. This country has maintained a protective pol icy since 1862, and the differences between this era and that of ante-bellum times are claimed by the free traders to be due to differences of the generation rather than of the duty. Canada made the change from a revenue tariff to a protective one in 1878, and the change in conditions with the change in policy has been so marked as to leave little room for dispute. Our correspondent's review of the sub ject is exhaustive and convincing. For some years prior to 1878 tho depression of Canada's material interests was so univer sal and prominent as to be conceded by all parties. Every one recognized the fact, but as to the proper remedy there was a stubborn dispute. After a long and sharp fight Sir John Macdonald and his sup porters carried a tariff based on the policy of encouraging home industries, prevent ing Canada from bcingused as a "sacrifice market," and looking toward reciprocity in tariff when the United States should desire it This tariff went into effect 14 years ago, and the succeeding period has been ample for a full test. Our correspondent gives a convincing showing of the progress of Canadian ma terial interests under the protective pol icy. Such astonishing results as a growth of 300 to 400 per cent in textile industries, of 15 per cent in bank deposits, and a steady growth in foreign trade which be fore the passage of the act was dwindling, are among the facts established. Canada has joined tho United States in demon strating that the policy of protection is well suited to the North American Con tinent AN UNORATORICAL CAMPAIGN. Up to the present stage- of the cam paign it has been .most strikingly dis tinguished by its quiet and its lack of oratory. The difficulty of working up political enthusiasm over the question whether the duty on tin shall be 22 cents orles3, Is obvious; but the dearth of oratory s much less easy of explanation. The fact, however, is too patent for dis pute. There are a few peripatetic exam ples of campaign oratory about the coun try, but they are sporadic and diluted. Chau'ncey M. Depew twitters his mild wit to occasional laughing assemblages. General Weaver strikes the orbit of comet like decayed eggs at unfortuitous inter vals. David Bennett Hill has closed his period of unburthening his mind of para doxes anent silver coinage and the tariff. George sends reports of a new oratorical light whose inspiration never descends to anything less glittering than the sunbeam on the mountain tops. But the sum total of it is that the oratory of the campaign is most conspicuous in its absence. Why this suspension of the gift of tongues has descended upon us is the con nundrum of the year. In foregoing dec ades, the one gift supposed to be undy ing in American politics wasthst of mak ing oration as Rudyard KiplIng'sHindoos say through the hat in the terms of the latest slang. One rather comforting theory is that the time has passed when the American peqple can be talked into enthusiasm or fury by a fluent gift of the gab. It would be pleasant to accept that explanation; but there are others. One is that the difference in the campaign marks the difference between the politicians of the present day and of the days of Webster, Clay, Douglas, Sumner and Garfield. An other is that oratory is being abandoned for those arguments which are regarded as most convincing in the domain of what has been described as practical but may be more specifically designated as pecuni ary politics. Most satisfactory of all is the iheory that oratory is giving away before the wider influence exerted by the press. Litera scripta manet; except the Demo cratic platform, of which there is not enough left after the Democratic leaders have done abjuring it to swear by. Those who vote for the Democratic nominees vote either for virtual free trade and an unreliably disastrous currency, or they vote for they know not what. Every different Democratic leader has a different pig for sale, and the only point of agreement between them lies in their concerted efforts to conceal the form and features of their re spective pigs. Tho country knows Protec tion and approves it benefits. It does not want to :o into the business ot adopting perilous policies or purchasing pis In pokes. References to Senator Sherman as a campaign refrigerator should cease at once, since 4.030 people packed a building to listen to his Incisive logic in Cincinnati, and ns many more blocked tlio street outside, as they were unable to obtain admission. If Anarchists must commit murder they cannot do better than dovote their attention to suspected members of their own order, as they recently did in Paris. Lawlessness of all kinds is to be suppressed. Bat the mur der of a mau with anarchistic affiliations is almost a matter for congratulation, since it rids the community of an outlaw, and must stir up strife in criminal societies which are most dangerous when united. Men of small caliber are the greatest bosses In too political field, as everywhere. Rapid transit is an immense conven ience, but wheie it conflicts with the safety ofbuman beings it becomes a serious evil. There must' be uo repetition of hut night's ' fatalities. The respective rights of parades and street cars must be clearly defined and strictly enforced. Lives aro priceless and nothing that can be controlled, as street tr&fflo can, must be allowed to threaten, them. That water shortage at Chicago calls for the quotation by one of the speakers of that familiar Hue: "Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink." Kentucky's orators are so famous at to be indispensable to the World's Fair dedicatory excrcisos. Since tho engagement of Mr. W. P. C. Brcck enridgo has. fallen out with tbo Chicago people, lid has been requested to devote his rhetoric to tho service of the Empire State, while Mr. Henry Watteison will fill the breach which tho "Silver-tongued" was to have occupied. A picnic indulged in by two hundred Chinamen is the Strongest argument yet produced on behalf of tolerating Celestials in this country. People that erijoy a picnic cannot bo utterly devoid of the first essen tials of Americanism. Foeeign flags in a Columbus parade are a fit indication that America owos some what of its greatness to many diverse na tions. But the principle cannot bo too stiongly emphasized that America is to-day one nation, and that its flag claims the en tire allegiance of Americans over all or any of those of the countries whence its com ponents hare been drawn. Boiler explosions are altogether too common. Four men were killed at Ports mouth, O., yesterday. Something must bo dono to lessen tho risks attendant upon their use at piesent. A reduction of fifty per cent in the discounts on natural gas payments, amount ing practically to u considerable increase in the price of that elusive and unstable com modity, will striko consumers as n pecu llaily timely movement to lollow the first news or destructive blizzards in the West. A good many ot the political rainbow chasers are looking for majorities that will never come. A little hard work is worth a gieat deal of empty expectancy. If every man support the patriotic policy of Protection as honestly and earnestly as docs ex-secrotary Blaine the party oi free trade may as well relinquish furthor efforts to disprove the country's ptosperityand cease its ende.tvors to inaugurate an era of calamity for American industries. Citizens who value their franchise must learn how to vote this year. TEoPliE OP PROMLVEXCE. The Marquand family, ot New York.own the most costly piano ever built. It was de signed and painted by Alma Tadcma, and cost $16,000. The President has appointed C. H. Lan yon, of Kansas, an alternate Commissioner from that Stato to the World's Columbian Exposition. Eey. Ng Poore Chew, a native China man, 36 years old, and a graduate of the Sun Francisco Theological Sjemlnary, has beoa ordained a minister in the PiesDyterian Church. Heer Laskee, the remarkable German chess export whose movements in Now YorK are attracting attention, is said to bear a strong resemblance to Rudyard. Kipling in his personal appearance. Probably the tallest G. A. B. veteran is William P. Boyno, of Gretm county, Pa., who stands 7 feet in his stockings. During the war he was a private soldier la the Twenty-second Pennsylvania Cavalry. Mr. and Mrs. Augustine Landry of Biddeford, Ale., have been married 70 years. Mr. Landry is 9G years old and his wife 86. They are natives of Canada, and have flad 14 children, of whom six sons survive. Pnor. E. N. Horsford, of Cambridge, the great believer in Ericsson as the true discoverer or America, has received from the King of Denmark the decoration of a Knight Of the Royal Order of Dannebrog. Senator Brice has concluded a five years' lease oi the Corcoran Mouse in Wash ington, and is having it put in a more habit able condition than formerly. It will be nearly tuo months before ho and his family will have occasion to ocoupy it. Mlle. Eose L'OUVERTURE, , a grand daughter and tho only living descendant of tho great Haytiau soldier, lives in the village ofSoirac, France. She is 69 years old, and dependent upon an annual pension of 1,552 francs paid her by the Government. , TWO EXEMPLARY SEBVAHTS Stand a Beating at the Hands of an Ignor ant Mob to Save Their Masters. ' San Francisco, Oct. 15. The steamship Oceanic arrived this morning from China and Japan. Chinese advices state that 1'olhill Turner and wiio of the Cambridge Band of the China Inland Mission, who have been engaged in missionary work among the Thibotau on the border, were assaulted by a mob at Sunghan, August 10, and nar rowly escaped with their lives. Mrs. Turner was ill and had been sent to Sunghan for treatment. Tho natives accused the sti angers ot boing necromancers and of pre venting rainlull. A mob numbering fully 1.000 made an at tack on the house, and Turner and his wife were dragged out, beaten over the head with pickets, and with their clothes half torn nom their bodies, wei e marched bareheaded through the sti rots undor the blazing sun. The mob tlncatened to drown them, but were prevented by the military officials.who suggested that the missionaries be carried betorc a native court. This was done, and the Court ordered Mr. and Mrs. Turner beaten, but tuo native Christian servants volunteered and were beaten in their stead. The Tumors gathered their children and fled toSzechuen. Subsequently rain tell at Sunghan to such an extent that the village was nearly submergod by the mud washed fi om the hills. Chicago Women May Vote. Chicago, Oct. 15. Tho Election Commis sioners today decided that women are en titled lo register and vote at tho coming election. They will be allowed to vote only for the Trustees of tho Stato University. Round to MakeThemselves Heard. Washington Post. Great guns have been introduced into the campaign. Ilotchkiss and Gatling were the speakers at a Republican rally at Hartford, Conn., Monday night. Far Better Without Him. New York Recorder. Corporal Tanner announces that he won't speak for the Republican party this fall. Thanks. A Problematic Question. Atlanta Journal. The question ot the day is: If Columbus hadn't discovered ns, where would bo at? Even Chicago Admits It. Chicago Inter Occan.3 New Y'ork did great credit to herself in the display at her Columbian celebration. LOVE CAN SEE, Well may lovers scorn the Droverb Which says love is blind; For they know tire passion gives them SlRbt of higher kind. Half of life's delights are bidden. Like the flowers at night, Tin tire flame of hearts Ignited Floods the world at night. Unguessed good which Ues about at Love Illuminates, And. aa from an angel's censer. From it emanates A condensed and mystic essence. Perfumed like the rose, ' Soothing heartaches into raptures. Cares to street repose. , Lovers see what others see not, . Theirs is deeper sight; From what seem but weeds of sorrow They distill delight. Call not blind those ardent dreamers Who the veil unroll From the hidden Joys of nature Love can see the aoul. tivstaxt iltaiucteneur in Rani 1eilWt. THE GOSSIP OF POLITICS. IVItOM A STAFF CURBESrONDlINT.I If our political managers ' were better Judges of human nature, or at least woie not hidebound by political traditions, they would get up their political pabulum in some more attractive form than the conven tional campaign document. If, forinstance, some short, crisp stories or sketches, illus trated by competent artists, carrying the ideas deemed desirable for circulation, were substit Ued for the dry, wordy, prolix litera ture with which the country ts.floodod, the effect would bo more salutary and lastlmr. The first consideration in campaign oratory is to get peoplo to come and listen. The primary consideration fn all campaign liter ature should be the best form in which to secure readers among the class it is de signed to influence. Campaign documents aro not written for tho Dopews, Cockrans, ilcKInleys, Carlisles and other well-informed men in and out of politics. They are -pie-pared for just the opposite class of citizens for people who aro not well informed, who aro weak willed, prejudiced, changeable, shallow-minded people who can bo ' played upon, who ate vacillating, undecided. Common senso would seem to dictate that a fool should be dealt with, approached, according to his folly; that an ignorant or shallow man Is not to be moved by close reasoning and learned dissertations on abstract theories. I should tlierorore get my political lessons in such form that the class of people I wanted to reach would take them lumi! and read them; so their children would read them, and thus get early impressions. In stead of hiring old political hacks to pre pare the campaign document the best liter ary talent wonld be employed, to the end that the matter to be present d bo put in the most attractive form. The printed speech should be wholly abandoned, or at least madn secondary and subsidiary. A speech may be forcible and effective coming from the lips of tbo orator, bnt in printed foim it is devoid of life and influence. The crudest dime novelette will be read by 100 persons where a printed speech would be i ead by one. And the people who read the former aro the people it is desirable to reach, not the person who has tho moral fortitude to read tho speech and the mental capacity to understand it. The Most Popular Democratic Orator. The Democratic speaker most in demand is the Iiish-American orator, V. Bourko Cockran. Tho National Committee is be sieged with letters begging for Bourke. Over 500 applications for him Iravo been made in a single- week. Delegations have como here from distant States to back the requests made by mail. It is hard to send them away disappointed. Out in Wisconsin the Democratic leaders offered n special car from New Y'ork and return for Cockian and his physician and such other attendance as he might suggest. Others promised to pack the largest theaters at si a head, the pro ceeds to go-to the campaign funds. Oning to the eaily break down of Cockran's throat his campaign service has been considerably curtailed. The Radge Man in His Glory, The badge man is out in all his spangled glory, lie is an old campaigner. His fami liar figure and his more familiar array of glittering and gaudy badges may now be seen on every prominent corner. Sleeting a dealer, I Inquired how the trade was com ing on whether the business was as good as in former campaigns. "Badges 'ave been way down." said lie, with a pronounced cockney accent on his h." "Tho bloomin' bizness is no good this year. H'i sold more truck at Chicago in one day Convention time than h'i 'avo 'ere in a week! Seems like men 'aven't got no spent in 'em yet." Beginning to feel an interest in the badge trade I stopped a tough-looking, sore-eyed man on a Twenty-third street corner, with badges all over him and a big card full, and asked him which kind of badges went the best, Republican nr Democratic. "Look hero," said he impudently, "do you want to buy a badueT" I frankly confessed that I didn't. "Well, then, I ain't givin' away no tips on the 'lection. See?" I saw. I saw the tongh-looklng, sore-eyed man move lapldly away. There were great ciowds on the walks coming and going and looking up at the Columbian decorations. Every badgeman carried, in addition to bis standard political stock, a variety of designs Incident to tho celebration. Ho was a regular Coney Island fakir I nxt met, with a lasping voice sug gestive of tho melodv of saw and file. "Politics ain't in it," says he. "This man Columbus knocks 'cm all out. I only wish Ire was a-running lor President but," and he looked at me interrogatively, "they say he's dead." "Yes," said I, "he's very dead." "Of course," added tho laklr, "he's dead. Tho good politicians is always dead." Another badge man came along just in time to loin in tho laugh that followed the departure of tho last. "lie's a 'dago,' too," pays ho. "A 'dago' never did know nothing. I s'pose ho thought Columbus wns a candidate lor Alderman or something. Here's your badges, gentlemen Columbus budges, Cleveland dis-covoring America, Harrison and Held in all tho latest styles buy a badge, ma'am, for the children do to carry the election or cut teeth on badges of all kinds yon pays your money and takes your choice. 1 ain't got no time to talk politics, sir. Badges! Badges! Are you a Republican or a Democrat? badges! Democrat? Yes; there's ono for 15 cents- take tho two lor a quaiter these Harrison badges go like hot cakes Cleveland is a dead issue: dead us ColuniDus badges! ' Tho wiles or the badge man aie not exact ly past finding out. A Most Cordial Stranger. A gentleman with long, bushy hair, with a traveling grip in one hand and an um brella in the other, entered tho barroom of the Fifth Avenue Hotel late Saturday night. He deposited the grip on the marble bar and turned to greet a popular newspaper man. His face was wreathed in smiles, lor ho was booked for several speeches in New York and "I want to know all of you," said he. "And I'm thirsty," ho added, "fori justgot in, and a thousand miles of cinders are in my throat." Tbe newspaper man thanked him for the opening, but ho was with a party of piofcs atonal brethren and 'Introduce them," promptly said the thirsty arrival. "I will take it as a favor." The three gentlemen weie brought upnnd duly presented nnd the party was invited to have something. In the meantime a news paper wag scurried around and got all the brethren in sight. And while these wetebe ing introduced he went out in the corridor and scraped tin half a dozen more of the boys, on the plea to them that theio was an important interview on hand, all or whom surrounded the newcomer, to his evident astonishment nnd dismav. "For heaven's sake servo tho Hckerl" he cried to the head barkeeper, glancing un easily at the chance couples who passed the door. Tho "licker" wns seived and the bill something like $l-wa settled, and the cordial stranger disappeated, leaving at least a dozen of the boys wondering what the uholo tiling meant, anyhow, and halfas many more laughing themselves nearly to death. An Orator Hypnotized by Suggestion. "A good many of our speakers use the same speeches made in 18SS," said a head quarters official, "with very little change, if any. Tbey aro not rehearsing them at tho same points they gave them last time and they gojust ns well. The issues haven't changed materially and tho candidates are the same." , Perhaps this is why there is a general lack of eiitnusiasm about the piesent campaign. If the SDeechesof 8S3 2oiust the same what is the use of reneatirr them? But tho sec- I ond-hand speeches are probably rather the result than tho cause of the apathetic cam paign. Cause and effect are not infrequently con fused and confusing. The other uay a national campaigner wns booked lor a speech in Harlem, and was going un on thu e.evnted to fill the appointment. He told a friend who was goin to see him and hear him through what a splendid new speech he bad. He went over it In detail, dwelling on the particular points in the order in which they were to be presented. His friend agreed with him that it was a rauhry good speech, and that It would catou the Harietn ites. There was an immense crowd present and some enthusiasm, music and fireworks. Just as the speaker got falrlv through his intro duction some of these firework- were Jet off with a tremenduous flash und -bang. Tho crowd turned in the usual uay nud let off a chorus of "Oils!" and "Alrsl" while the speaker was cvldently.disconcertcd. When be resumed ho got switched off on the old speech and couldn't get back again. The friend, who had heard that speech once or twice before, was naturally disappointed. "Why, yon made the same old speech," said he, alter it was over. "It was those blamed fireworks!" ex claimed the orator, white hot. "Did you ever notice that when a speaker gets at & critical point some darned fools let off a lot of flroworks or start up a. band of Infernal horns or something? Well, it's so. I had Just reached the point where my distinc tively now speech bean, when the same confounded fireworks that were run in on mo four years ago struck me again and knocked me head over heels into the same old rut. I couldn't think ol anything e.scl" A Display of Mutual Affection. One of the most beantiful and inspiring eights of the campaign was witnessed on Thursday, when Colonel Tom Carter and Calvin S. Brice stepped out of Republican headquarters and walked arm in arm diag onally across the avenue to the little one story frame beer saloon that nestles among the nobs that line that aristocratic thor oughfare. This display of mutual affection fairly entranced the entire neighborhood. Inside the little beer saloon, whleb still preserves tbo early characteristics of a half way house, the political magnates ranged up to the old wooden counter. "What'll you have, Brice?" says Colonel Carter. "No, no this Is on me," says Brice. "Not at all," says Colonel Tom Carter, "this is my treat," and ho reached for his trousers pocket with the confident air of a man who had Just received his week's sal ary. . "What do you drink, Tom?" says Brice. "I'll take Deer," says Colonel Carter. "I suppose as a good Democrat you take whisky." "That's my drink," promptly' responds Brice. "I think a Bismarck cocktail will do me," rays Colonel Carter, as the red-faced German bartender set him out a pony with a two inch shirt collar on it. Brice balanced a black bottle with n prac ticed hand and carefully measured out two fingers of old rye. Then the Democratic magnate's glass touched tho Bepublican magnate's glass with a clinking sound, there was a unanim ous upward movement of two elbows and the deed was done. When the now happy pair came down the wooden steps large chunks of jov appeared upon tneir luces. Thus do wo sail along in the wake or Colnmous shedding sunshine and brotherly love. He Couldn't Stand that Question. "I'm going home to-morrow," said Con gressman Tursncy to a group of friends In the Hoffman House. "There is a man around here" the member glanced about him un easily "who asks me 'How does it look now?' every time he sees me. That question, How does it look now?' is a good deal worse than the July oration, 'Is it hot enough tor you?' You don't have to nnswer a mau who asks you 'Is it hot enough for you?' or you can knock him down. You can't do this with this 'ellow who pursues you with 'How does it look now?" though I'd like to do it. As 1 was saying, this fellow hero asks me how the political situation looks every time he sees me. 1 went into breakfast the other morn ing and he caught me on the fly, ' 'How does it look now,"ho inquired. " '1 told him that I had just got up and hadn't read the morning papers yet and con bcquently couldn't tell him whether tho sit uation had changed since ho saw me the night be. ore. hen I came out he ran across me and tho rarae inquiry came. " 'flow does it look now?' "That man is the bane of my Xew York existence," continued the Congressman. "Why, I'm afraid to go out and afraid to go in, lor ear I'll meet him and have that awful question sprung on me suddenly. He seems to think the political situation changes every minute and that I have taken a photograph of it. That's why I am going nuuie. x cuuie neie wuu me mea oi enjoy ing myself" At that moment a couple of gentlemen broke in upon the party, and after the usual handshake and introductions one ot them opened the conversation in a spirited man ner with: "Well, how does it look now?" The look of mute suffering on the Con gressman's face was pitiable. He glanced at u., took out his watch and weaKiy inquired when the next train left. Charles Theodore Murray. New York, Oct. 13. II HUNG CHANG INSANE. He Has a Habit of Kicking and Cuffing High Personages In Public. San Francisco, Oct. 15. The statement is made by passengers arriving here from China Dy the steamer Oceanic that Le Hung Chang, Prime Minister or China, has mani fested symptoms or insanity. As is the custom in China all audiences he grants are public. For the head of the Government to slap the face of an official in the presence of an inferior is considered a deadly insult and the man who is struck loes caste for ever. Yet this is what Chang is said to bo doiirg daily. Almost everyone to whom he grants an audienco is kicked and cuffed in front of servants and retii-bs in disgrace. According to the passengers affairs came to a culminat ing point Just before tho steamer sailod. One of the Generals of the Chinese army appeared be lore Li Hung Chang to make his official report. The Viceroy with no appar ent cause struck the General in tho fuce. The latter was only prevented by the at tendants from falling upon the Viceroy. MR. BLAISE AT uPHIR FARM. If Mr. Blaine should Do induced to make a speech ifi New Y'ork it would be the event of tho campaign. Lcwistown Journal. Unquestionably Mr. Blaine is a great man and is loyal to his party and desirous of its ultimate prosperity and power. New York Times. That Mr. Blaine is not unwilling to do something may bo assumed from tho fact that ho has como more than 500 miles to be talked to about it. Ifew York World. Mb. Blaine has made Ills appearance at Whitelaw Keid's Ophir Farm. This Is an indication that the ex-Socrctary will' soon be heard on the stump in the Empire State. Philadelphia Eu htm. The people of the United States, without party division, will be glad to learn of Mr. Blaine's restoration to health, with the hope it affords of renewed usefulness in the public service. Troy Times. IUr. Blaine's participation in the cam paign will strengthen the party to which he belongs. The time will nevor come xo long as he lives when James G. Blaine will not be a power in Amciican politics. Washington Star. Since bis nomination for Vico President, Mr. Ileid has received many of his political friends; but none of them, by pausing at his charrping Westchester retreat.has awakened a livelier interest than (he advent of Mr. Blaine has aroused. Brooklyn Eagle. The realization that Mr. Blaine, though an invalid, is in earnest and constant confer ence with the party leaders 'trill brighten up the canvass and tinge with old time enthusiasm the matter of fact and thought ful consideration of tho issues. yiui York Advertiser. DEATHS JIERE AND ELSEWHERE. Osmond M. Johnstou, Inicntor. Osmond M. Johnston, died last week at his home In ErownsilKe, aged SO jc.irs and 5 months. At one time he was a large contractor in Brownsville. Osmond was tire inventor Jf the terra cotta coffin, out or which lie hoped to make a fortune. A stock company was formed in Browns ville and a factory erected lor the manufacture of the new coflln. It was claimed for the ucwstvlo that it was practlca'ly indestructible and would keep bodies In a perfect state of preservation for mauv years under Its hermetically-sealed lid. The new coffin, huwever, was not ifie success its in ventor claimed lor It. 'J he factory fell intodecav and Mr. Johnston's dreams or wealth were Interred with htm In a plain coflln of tire customary make. Patrick Dean. Patrick Dean, 73 years oid, died on Fri day at tire home ofhls son-in-law, John Johnston. Tire deceased was for a number of cars a resident of tire Fifth ward, this city. Twenty-one yc-irs ago he removed to the Twenty seventh ward lie took an active Interest in tire politics of his district, and nn to two years ago tilled almost continuously the office or Register Assessor. Heroines a large number of relatives and friends. Elliott H. Pendleton. Elliott Hunt Pendleton, brother of ex United States Minister to Germany. George II. Pendleton, died at his residence in Cincinnati Friday night. Ho has always been ono of Cincin nati's most prominent and wealthy citizens, and was at one time President of the Commercial Bank. He was widely known and respected for his religious work. Obituary Notes. Uos. Lines 11. Comins, Representative In Con gress for two terms extending from 1JM to ISM. died In Boston Friday In hU 73th year. Major VinciMUf Freeman, tho constructor of tbo original Virginia Beach Railway and well known engineer, died Friday lu Norfolk from a complication ofdiseaEes, agid ts. lie was form erly nclrlef engineer in the United States navy, but resigned at the outbreak of the war, accepting a uaral place lu the Confederate service. LIGHT AS THISTLE-DOWN. He Blew in Vain. It was not very late, two hours from witching midnight, but almost everyone had gone to bed and tho Hotel Oliver at Elwood was wrapped in its usual nightgown of peace. In one of the rooms a guest was pre paring to retire. There was a communicat ing door between this roam and the next. The Pittsharger who was preparing for a big night's sleep noticed the light streaming under the door and framing it with a fine line or light on all sides. There was other evidence that another man was traveling to the Land of Nod in the next room. First one boot and then the other bumped on the floor. Sundry grunts and ejaculations indicated the progress of disrobement. You can't help noticing these phenomena in the next room to yours they amount to much in a place of El- wood's placid disposition. Therefore, the Pittsharger as ho slowly divested himself of his apparel, noted the progress of his neigh bor in the same direction. Presently the fiat padding sound of bare feet on a car peted floor announced that the man in the next room was ready to plunge under the sheets. The next sound was not so easily defined. It resembled somewhat the Initial note of a steam engine getting under way, and a zepbyr from the cool shades of the Conoquo nesslng might have approached the air in some Buch semblance through a keyhole or chimney. The sound was repeated again and again. Had the Pittsburger not known for certain that there was a man in the next room he might have attributed this singular puffing, which at first was slow and soft, but in a minute or two became vicious und load, to a giampusslUhtly out of its latitude. As it was tho Pittsburger was driven to speculating, and being a staid and conservative business man it went against the grain as to what bis next door neighbor was up to. no must be doing the puffing and blowing. What for? He bad undressed slowly and could hardly be out of breath. Was ho suffering from heart fail ure? Could it be the prelude to fits? All these theories nnd many more bad crowded upo.i the FIttsburger's mind when the strange sounds ceased. Bare feet again plodded painfully across the room and the creaking of bed springs told that the mys terious puner was in bed. wisely the 1'itts- burger decided to follow suit. He turned out the electric light and slipped into bed. The - flist thing he noticed as he composed him'elf under the covers was that the uoor leading into tho next room was still framed in golden light. Y'et the snores of the occupant showed that be had gone to sleep. A new light burst upon tire Pittsburgcr's mind. Hit neighbor had been trying o blow out the elPCtric light! The register of the hotel confirmed this explanation of the nocturnal puffing and blowing. Tho PittsDurger's neighborhailed from Lonelyville, Pa. A .Fowl Invasion. The old Economites are not at all reconciled to the innovations that are the outward and visible signs of the new regime in the old town. Anyone who is acquainted with Economy knows how the chickens swarm in the streets. It is a skillful driver who can avoid clipping a feather here and there from the crowd of clucking hens, spry pullets and dignified roosters scuttling across the road under the feet of every horse that passes. Even this glory of Economy is, to the mind of the ancient Inhabitant, tarnished by tho tampering hands of the new rulers. Sard ono of the few ancients, who speak their minds freely, to me the other day: "Our very chickens were not good enough lor this man Dtiss and his tribe. They had to bring in a brood ot six toed fowls, and our old five-toed stand-bys will Do driven out I supposo before long." The interloping intruders objected to are, I believe, fowls of the White Leghorn variety. But the visitor sees other changes in Economy than th se which affect the egg snpnly and the dnal dish or chicken and waffles. Perhaps the old garden attached to tbe l.'app House shows most of all the in vasion of the modern spirit. The old tan bnrk walks, whose odor mingled not un pleasantly with the sweeter scouts ot rose and mignonette, are gone, and in their place your shoes t-cruucli upon uncompromising gravel. A new band stand makes a very bold iront in the garden, nnd the old pagoda or summer h6use,encircied by the fish pond, is glaringly gay asn new coat or paint, nnd goldleaf can urakait. Most people nho'visit Economy consciously or unconsciously Ira mo tho thought that the old town in the fitness of things should be allowed to sleep; but poetry has not much of a place when tho lauyon the silver dollar takes a hand In the game. In the Old World there might be some chance of economy sharing to a great extent the sound slumber of Its founders for all time; mosses do not grow well in this bustling land, and the band or time is seldom allowed here to touch with softening hand the ruins of the past, A Scare Is Wholesome at Times. Loookino at it on all sides, the late la mented cholera scare did not a little, good. It America comes no nearer the plague than It did in September tho cleaner streets; the purification generally and the prospect of a better water supply will boa comfortable compensation lor the "shakes." But it was not until yesterday that I found a man who confessed positively tbat cholera hud spelt money to mm. remaps it is tire ggnerat ex perience in the insurance business, but it was a leading agent in Pittsburg who said yesterday: "It would be a providential thing if some good, healthy bugaboo would nrake uglv faces at the nation once a vear. The maiority of people need something like the cholera scare to keep them In mind that they are not immortal. You know no body expects seriously to die soon, or at all except "as a remote possibility. Nearly evorybody will admit cheerfully that all the re-t of creation Is in clanger of sudden death, but the chief obstacle to the insurance man Is the ill-louuded presumption of the million that life is deeded to them in perpetuity. "But. the cholera scare knocked the pin ning Irorn under people's confidence whole sale It has been so to speak 'a snap' for the insurance man, and I venture to say that more life insurance has been written throughout the United States during tbo past CO days than ever before in a like length or time, with possibly a tew exceptions ns to proportion. How long the good effects of the excursions and alarms incidental to the scare will la3t I don't know, but it looks if they would continue at least as long as the stream-cleaning and pnrewatermovement." Their Golden Virtue Terrified Him. Not long ago a large body of gentle men who had been cured of the liquor habit, and desired to revisit the scene of their emancipation, filled a good-sized special train on the Pittsburg and Western. It had not been proclaimed on tho housetops tbat the train contained a galaxy of reformed drinkers, and not all the train hands knew what kind of an excursion was on board. Soon niter the train bad cleared the miize of tracks above Allegheny one of tho colored porters went to the conductor and asked what kind of people they were hauling to Chicago. "Thev look like sports, but they ain't!" he said. The absence of flasks, and the un wonted thirst of tho whole nartyforice water, convinced this colored philosopher that there was something uncanny about them. lie was evidently relieved when the 1 conductor revealed the inwardness of the situation. An Awkward Introduction. 'I omlv met Russell Harrison once," said a newspaper man last night, "and that was last winter in the office of Frank Lcsj lie's. I didn't see enough of him to formany opinion about him beyond that ho seemed a plea'ant fellow enough, hut I shall remem ber the circumstances under which I was in troduced to him as long as 1 live. Ho was reading a letter when Mr. Arkell called him from bis desk to speak to me. lie held up the letter, remarking with a laugh: 'Some kind friend sends mo a clipping from the Pittsburg , giving mo Ills.' Then wo shook hands and I glanced at tho clipping Mr. Harrison Hold up. I must say that it senj a shiver down my spine when 1 aw that it was the piper I work for. Mr. Har rison saw the Joke a minute later when lie learned from whence I came, and accepted my rather lame disavowal ot the sarcastic editorial." Hefburs Jouss. A Now Monetary Conference Delegate. IVashisotos, Oct. 15. President E. Benja min Andrews, of Brown University, Provi dence, It. I., 1ms been appolnted'by tho President a delegate from the Unitod States to the International Monetary Con tetencc, lu place of President F. A. Walker, who was compelled to decline. President Andrews is a recognized authority on political econ omy ana kindred questions. In politics he is a Democrat. Blaine's Sympathy for the President. WAsnixoTox, Oct. 15. Mr. Blaine has com municated through Secretary J. W. Foster, to the Picsident, an expression or hit deep sympathy with him on account of Mrs. Harri son's dangerous illness. No Opposition to Chris. Baltimore American. I If Christopher Columbus were running for office be would he selected unanlmouly. CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. An aluminum baggy is announced. Alaska has 34 Indian schools with 1,700 pupils. Hrpnotizers are not allowed to practice their art in Belgium. Candles as we understand them were first used in England in USL Pictures of helmets appear on the Egyptian monuments B. C. 4,000. In Ireland there are 40.0QO mud cabin consisting of but a single room. The Egyptian is taxed SO cents on the palm tree tbat grows in his garden. The inventor of the last new air flylnjj; machine claims that he can make 200 miles an bonr with it. The French War Office has provided for the enrollment of between 6,000 and 7,000 bicyclists in war. Mexico has 22,500 miles of telezraph and 6 600 of railroad. A district messenger service will soon be introduced. The first electric tower clock in the United States was out np on the new court house at Los Angeles, CaL, in 1S9L Prof. Marshall tells us that the oak la a general way requires to grow from 130 to 200 years before it is lit to cut for large tim ber. The ocean is more productive than the land. An acre of good fishing ground will yield more food than an acre on the belt farm. Boiling oil, hot water, melted pitch and sulphur were always in readiness dur ing a medheval siege to repel storming" parties. The first French newspaper, the Gazette de France, was started in 1631 by Theopbraste Renaadot. He also established tbe first Mont de Pxtte. News from Japan says that a number of Japanese actresses are preparing to start on a tour in Europe to illustrate tbo native style of acting. " By a liquor law recently put in force in Cape Colony no traveler can be supplied with drink unless with a bona fide dinner or luncheon. Hall armor was worn in the Continental armies until the present century- In excep tional case, body armor is still worn by special soldiers. An object of much curiosity observed in a music store window at Lynn, Mass., is an ancient Egypt lyre, believed to be more than 3,000 years old. The new Mormon temple will be dedi cated at Salt Lake on April 6, 1393. The con struction of the buildin ' was begun 10 years ago, and it has cost $2,500,000. . The first cornet in England or America was blown bya Frenchman, name unknown, and the instrument baa since lor that reason been generally called tbe French born. The most highly-valued gift at the Queen of Denmark's golden wedding was a crown of golden wheat ears and clover, bought with the pennies of 10,000 school chil dren. In Alachua and other counties in Flor ida a short time ago there w3 a shower ot fine spider webs which covered the ground for miles. Enough fell, it is said, to start a cotton factory. An Australian pearl diver says that divers are always in bad temper when work ing at tho bottom of the sea. It is supposed to be due to the heavy pressure of the con densed air the divers are forced to breathe. In 1861 the famons Languedoc canal was completed. This gave France an arti ficial waterway 148 miles in length, witn a summit level of 600 feet above tire sea, and Including upward of 100 locks and 50 aque ducts. In order to keep sea porgies through the summer tbe flhermen oi Ebode Island have nets so arranged that the passing schools are let npinto salt water ponds and the channels connecting with tbe ocean are closed. Xoblemen in scores were created by Christophe, a negro, who ruled as Emperor of Hnyti from 1811 to 1S20. Among tho titles conferred were those ot the Duke of Marma lade, the Count of Lemonade and the Earl or Brandy. A railroad with a gauge of but 24 inches is now building in North Carolina. It is to run from Hot Springs, near tho Tennes see border, to Laurel river, a distance of 'H miles. Tho main purpose of Its construction is to get the timber on about 70,000 acres of land. One of the industries in connection with the tea trade is tho collection or tljo lead with which tea-chests aro lined. China has been noted for many centuries for tbe purity of its lead, and this tea-chest lead, as it is called, is regarded as the finest in exist ence. There are many uses for it; it is found very valuable in making the best kinds ot solder. The lowest barometric pressure on record is 27.135 inches, which was observed in 1SS3 during a small tut intensoly fierce storm over the Bay of Bengal. A.mostre markabie lcature about this tempest was its small size; its diameter was only about 100 miles. Vessels passing through iteocaped witli great difficulty onaccountof the strong centripedal draught. The ancient Romans considered Febru ary 29 a most critical season, aiways reckon ing it among their unlucky days. That this belief has not by any means lost ground is evidenced by a deep-rooted dislike parents have to a child being born on leap day. It be ing a popular notion that to come into the worid at such an odd time is ominous as sig nifying tbe babe's speedy exit. Some people suppose that rosewood takes its name irom its color, but that is a mistake. Rosewood is not red oryellow.but almost black. Its name comes from the fact that, when first cut, it exhales a perfume similar to that of a rose: and, altbougn the dried rosewood of commerce retains no trace of this perfume, the name lingers as a relic ot the early history of'tbe wood. Tortoise shell, as it comes to market from the West Indies, is coarse, dirty and lusterles?, and only the most skillful and patient manipulation makes it the rich and berrutiful material it eventually becomes. Ostrich plumes, as they arrive in this mar ket, look like bedraggled turkey feathers, and thev pas through a score of hands bo fore they become the fluffy and graceful ad junct to feminine attire. PLIGHTS TNTO PUNNYDOM. "Why did he go on the stage?" Oh. Ws friends egged hhn on." "Why did he leave it?" The public egged him off" .vio York Prest. "One feature about this bureau that I can recommend." said the salesman, 'Is that it has been carefully oiled all over the back. Gum won't stick to It anywhere." 'My daughters." said the customer, "are all married. Show me one that yon can't drive a nail Into. I waut It for my ooy." -Chicago Tnian'. The bold campaigner loses sleep On speeches sharp or lenient. Forgetting Hwoald be best to Keep Blue pencils quite convenient. Washington Star, Thirsty Theodore Dat's tough luck. Hungry Hal-Wot? W'y. I forgot ter wash out dis tomaty can afor I rushed do growler, an now I can't tell wedder I got soup cr beer." Bujalo Express. The sweet an mild October in russet man tel shines: The purple grapes are reella from the over burdened vines: An the leaves are Tallin' softly where the woodi Is dreamln' still. An' the same book agent's comln' like two-forty crost the hint Atlanta Constitution. Employer See, here, Mr. Penn, this is the fourth time In tnree months I have given yon ilayofftu attend to your sister' wedding. Don't you think yon ought to find a new excuse? Bookkeeper-lint, sir, I have been telling th truth. Sister Uves in Chicago. Indianapolis Journal. " 'Twas ev(r thns, from childhood's hour." I never In a car did see A pretty girl, but ner escort Was twice as big as me. Brooklyn EajU. Chappie Hello, Sappie, what's the matter? Sappie -Saw Mary's father last night. Chapple-Ah I Did he kick yon out Sappie No, he kicked me In and I don't teller I ever will get over It. Detroit Fret Press. Spindler I er don't like to complain, Mrs. SUmdlet, bat It seems to me this is rather a light supper for a hungry man. Mrs. Sllmdlet (baughtlly)-I am used to fashion able boarders wot gets a hot lunch down loth city an' don't come home half-stirred. Sport Moment
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers