"wr 18&2L V THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, SUNDAY. JANUARX ' 31 15 TWELVE-INCH GUNS to the square inch, and if vou could take a All the Great Nations AgrejJtSSSi' These Are the Largest Practicable. TWO FOE CALIFOBMa Just Completed at the Larsje Gun Foundry at Washington. ACCURATE FOR TWELVE MILES. Ships Which Hurl Forth Three Tons of Steel at One Discharge. COST OF THE AWFUL DZSTR0IERS rcoRRtsrovnx'NCE or the disfatch.i "Washington, Jan. 30. NE of the biggest guns ever made in the United States crossed the continent last week, and its sister is now lying in the great gun fac tory at the navy yard waiting for the spe cial car to return from San Francisco and carry it to the Pacific slope. These guns will be placed on the Monterey. The big guns are among the most won derful things of modern times. The one just sent to San Francisco weighed 104,000 pounds, and the freight car upon which it was carried was made especially strong, and it bad to have 10 wheels and heavy trucks to support this immense weight. It had to be much longer than the ordinary car, and the gun itself is more than 35 feet long, and at its breech it is as big around as the largest flour barrel. It 'is so long that if it were stood on end its muzzle would reach above the top of a good sized three story house. It would take about 90 horses to haul it if it were on wheels on a ordinary road, and the shot or shell which it uses are so big that threi of them would make a good load for a team of Percheron horses. The Shell and the l'otvdrr. Each of these shells weighs 850 pounds. Standing on the ground, they reach to the height of a man's waist and they are 12 inches thick or nearly twice as large around as the average telegraph pole. The powder used in these guns is the color of chocolate. It is compressed into the shape of the iron nuts which you use on a large bolt and it takes about two two-bushel bags full of these powder nuts to fire off" the gun. For et err shot that is fired it will take 425 pounds of powder and this powder will send this immense shot forth from the gun with such a force that it will do execution 12 miles away and its velocity as it leaves the muzzle of the gun is 2,000 feet a second. Two thousand feet a second! Do you realize what that means? This immense shell if it kept up this velocity would travel a mile in less than three seconds. It flies forth twenty times as fast as the fastest loco motive ever traveled, and plows its way along through the air, losing but little of this terrible speed as it carries its 800 pounds of death and destruction straight to the mark 12 miles away. Such a shot if it could keep its velocity would at this rate, go around the world in less than a day. Execution of the Big Gum. Its speed is inconceivable. Its execution is beyond description. It will plow its way through steel and iron, and the guns of modern times would have perforated the ships which were in use 25 years ago like so much paper, and as it is they go a foot or more into solid steel, and the strongest com binations of metal known to modern times will hardly withstand them. These two guns are what are known as 12 icch guns, and they are so far about the most satisfactory of the large guns known. The English have made some guns which measure 16 inches across the muzzle, but thee have not done well, though they carry Ehells weighing 1,800 pounds and require nearly 1,000 pounds of powder to fire them. It is doubtful whether thev have a greater ttnkmg force than our 12-inch guns, but one of these lG-inch guns at a trial recently sent a shot through nearly 45 feet of iron', steel, granite and concrete and left it im bedded in six feet of brick in the end. The shot vent first through 20 'inches of iron and steel plate, then through 8 inches of wrought iron plate, then cut its way through 20 feet of oak, on through five feet of gran ite, through 11 feet of concrete and at last lodged in the midst of six feet of brick. The Guns Are Large Enough. The 12-inch gun is the favorite gun with the best nations of the world. The English navy have a number which measure 13Jf inches, but the French have discarded their 16-ihch guns and it is stid that all over 12J inches are not satisfactory. The biggest gun afloat in the German navy is 12 1-100 inches in size, and the biggest of new guns ordered by Japan are only 12 inches. These big guns were made at the navy yard gunhops here at "Washington, and we nave here now at the national capital one of the biggest and best gun factories of the world. Nearly 1,000 hands are now working here from 10 to 12 hours a day and there is a colony of 3,000 people supported by the gun factory. The foundry has af readv turned out or is making 117 big guns, and thee range from 6-pounders to 12-inch in size and the largest guns cost as high as 545,000 to f50,000 apiece to make. Now, that there is danger of trouble abroad, the guards have been increased and it requires a pass to get into the navy yard. You are stopped bv a soldier at the gate and have to register our name. Inll- the Main Foundry. I got a card from Commander Folger to Captain O'Neil, and was taken into the great big brick building which constitutes the main foundry and which looks for all the world like a big grain elevator. Im agine a room GOO feet long aud 80 feet wide racked full of logs of steel, of polished barrels ol metal in the shape of guns, of great maehiney which whizzes and whirrs with its many bands of belling, of sooty workman by the hundred in suits of blue jeans and you have a mazed idea of our big gun bhop. The noise which comes up is like the confusion of Babel. "Along the walls near the roof, you note two railroad tracks which run the entire length of the building and suspended to these and running on their wheels back and lorih, is the mighty crane which picks up ihe!e 43 ton pieces of steel logs and carries tneni as lightly as though they were matches from one end of the shop to the other. This crane is the biggest lifting aflair in the United States. It has lifted 110 tons and it is so arranged that one man rides in a cage which swings just under the crane and moves it about over this big shop just as he pleases. o Trouble to Handle Them. "With it he could lift up a good-sized truin of cars, and by a twist ot the wrist he could, with this crane, carry a passenger locomotive from one end of this room to the other. He takes up one of tbee guns, which is 30 feet long, and stands it on end without anv trouble, and in fact the moving about of these immense masses ot metal is i'-ne with greater manual ease than the handling of the iron in an ordinary black smith's shop. All kinds of gun making are going on here? and the making of a big gun is as fine -- i . . .; j. - - . - .I? .. ,-- .,Ll ,...r.r. .-; ji2frtite&kLZrJ a piece of scientific manufacture ai anything done in the machine shops of the United States to-day. These guns, when com pleted, hftvfl in hi n Htrnntr that ihev will withstand a pressure equivalent to & tons I weighed the enormous amount 01 10 tons, ' you could rest the lower end of this upon a I piece of one of these guns and it would not affect it. At the time of the last war be t tween the North and South, nearly all the guns in use were made of cast iron or cast brass, and it was a common thins for a gun to explode and go to pieces. The guns of to-day are made of the finest of wrought steel, and the 12-inch pun, which is now at San Francisco, was built up of a dozen or more great logs of steel. I Building TJp a Great Can, The inside tube ot it when it was brought to the factory was a hollow log of steel, which weighed in the neighborhood of 40, 000 nounds. and which was 35 feet lone and j as big around ai the largest oak tree you nae ever seen. J.his log had oeen maae at Bethlehem, Pa., and it had been hammered and drilled into shape, and its interior was far smaller than it is now. Logs of this kind of steel are lying now in the gun fac tory ready to be used for the making of more of these 12-inch guns, and the steel of which these logs are made is carefully tested before they are accepted. "When this immense steel log is received here it is put on a great lathe and the out side of it is shaved down, a stream of ice water running continuously on the bit of the lathe as it cuts the stell shavings from its outside shell. The friction is no great that the water becomes boiling and rises in steam from the shavings, and the interior ot the steel log is drilled out until it is of the exact size for the ball of over 800 pounds which is to go into it ltlnding TTlth Hoops of Steel. Now the steel log has been drilled out ready to form the inside or the barrel of the gun. It has to be strengthened many times before it is ready for use, and this strength ening is done by binding it again and again with hoops of steel. First comes the jacket This is another steel log 3 feet thick and about 13 feet long. It is made at Bethle hem, Pa., of the finest forged steel, and when it is ready to he turned and bored it weighs 48,000 pounds. It comes to the navy ON THE SPECIAL OAK yard a hollow log of forged steel as high as a table and so long that you could hardly get it into the average parlor. It is here drilled out until it is just a lit tle smaller in its interior diameter than the circumference of the steel tube, and it is shrunken on this in the very same way that a blacksmith shrinks a tire on a wheel In the middle of this big gnn factory there is a great hole big enough to hold a four-story house of about 40 feet square. This con tains great furnaces and machinery which will hold one of these great guns upright The big crane picks up this 20 ton or so of steel which constitutes the barrel of the gun, swings it over this hole and stands it on end. rutting on the Steel Jacket. Then it takes the thirty or forty thou sand pound steel jacket and puts it into the big furnace which stands in this hole. By means of coal-oil, an immense heat is pro duced and the jacket becomes white hot Th'e crane now catches hold of it, lifts it up, suspends it over the barrel and, lo! the heat has so expanded it that it slips down npon the barrel, and it is left there to cool. Cold water is sprayed oyer it through bands of copper wire, and in a day the heat has left it and it has embraced the tube with a ter rible pressure, which is sometimes so great that it makes it necessary to drill out some ot the interior of this massive tube to bring it to the right size. This jacket is now three or four inches thick. It has to be shaved down until nothing but the best and the pnrest of steel remains in it Other great hoops of steel are shrunk on to the other parts of the barrel, and these are shaved down and other hoops shrunken on top of them, until the whole barrel has three different layers of the finest of forged steel, more strongly welded together than though they were one solid piece of metal. It Shines Like a Mirror. The gun is now polished off until it shines like a mirror, its breech loading apparatus ONE OP THE EIGHT-INCH is fastened to it or made with it and you have, after many months of work, at an ex pense of nearly 550,000, one of the most wonderful things in warfare. As completed the gun is at the back almost as big around as a flour barrel. At the muzzle it is just 12 inches in diameter and it is so arranged w hen bung in the ship it could be almost manipulated by a child. One gets nojdea of the size of these guns from the technical description of them. There are many ten-inch guns here. These are 26 JeetJong and they carry 500 pound steel balls at the rate of 2,000 feet per second. The Maine will have four of them. The Baltimore has in its armament four eight-inch guns which carry balls weighing 450 pounds and these guns weigh 27,000 pounds apiece. The six-inch gun weighs 6,800 pounds and the amount of weight which the batteries of our warships will be able to throw at a time is almost inconceivable. Secretary Tracy says that the Indiana will when completed throw over three tons, or 6,800 pounds of pro jectiles at a single discharge, and the Ehells from her 13-inch gun will go 22 inches into a steel plate one mile away. The Cost of a Naval Battle. He says that her secondary batteries will discharge 330 projectiles a minute, and she will have torpedo tubes which will shoot out an all-around fire of 18-ihch torpedoes, each containing 250 pounds of powder. Dis charges like this will cost an enormous amount, and every minute of a great naval battle will send fortunes up in smoke and sound. Every round of fire from a 12-inch gun will cost hundreds upon hundreds of dollars, as the expense of making these armor-piercing shells is very great During my stay at the Navy "Yard I visited the shell house and had a talk with Gunner "Walsh. He tells me that each ship carries 100 rounds of shell and ani- ? munition to go with each gun except in ime of war and 12 of these six-inch guns would require 1.200 .shells or 120,000 pounds of shell alone. It would take 50 pounds of Sowder for eash shell and this would take ),000 pounds of powder. A great quantity of all kinds of shell and ammunition is kept on hand at the Navy Yard and every gun uses three kinds of projectiles. Exploding the Steel Shell. These big 12-inch guns will fire steel shell with walls about two and.a half Inches thick and so arranged that they will go off upon striking the ship. The arrangement is much like the striking of caps on a gun which ignites the powder and blows the shells into hundreds of pieces. Another kind of projectile used is the shrapnel. These are shells filled with leaden balls about as big around as a good sized chestnut or a plum and there is from 87 to 500 of these balls in the shrapnel according to their sizes. The 12-inch gun will shoot a projectile containing about 500 of these balls and should it explode inside of a ship, ii would be the last of the crew. The armor piercing shell has a steel point of the hardest composition known and experi ments are now being made upon shells which will not explode until they get in side of a ship or which will go off only at a given time atter leaving the gun or upon striking. It is wonderful how accurately the guns of modern warfare can be sighted. Every thing is done by machinery, and some of the guns go off with the pulling of a trigger like that of a revolver, and the gunner has a rest for his shoulder and can sight along the barrel just as you do when you wish to bring down a squirrel. "We have Gatling gnns which rain out 1,200 shots a minute, and which can be fired faster than they can be loaded. We have Hotchkiss guns which work for all the world like a big revolver, and which can fire many big balls a minute, and we have dynamite guns on one of our cruisers which are 13 inches in diameter and which shoot out great shells of dynamite. "We have already some of the best guns of nearly every kind in use, and within three or four years we will have the third navy of the world. Fbask G. Carpenter. FASHIONS FOB THE POODLES. The Parlslenne Now Has a Complete Ward robe and Rules for Ber Pet. Newcastle, Eng., Chronicle. Among the latest instances of fin de siecle fastidiousness in Pari b (says a correspond ent) is an accepted code of fashion in rela tion to the garments worn by ladles' pet FOR SAN FRANCISCO. dogs. Time is no longer when a plain ooat of blue cloth with a yellow border was con sidered the acme of luxury for the domestic toy terrier, pug, or Italian greyhound. Doggy must now have a complete wardrobe, containing a costume for each event of the day. The following Is given by a society paper as the very latest thing in "canine outfits." At breakfast only a simple garment of blue or white flannel should be worn, and at this period a collar of any kind is consid ered vulgar. For the morning "constitu tional" a close-fitting coat of striped or spotted English cheviot, with a mantle well covering the chest, is essential, and the leading-chain" and collar must be"6f antique silver. The costume for the afternoon drive, to be fashionable, must be of fine cloth or plush, and the color either blue, mouse, or fawn. "With this a collar of velvet hung with tiny medallions is de rigueur, unless one of fur be considered more becoming. Finally, for evening dress the pet is ar rayed in a wadded gown of cashmere or vel vet, ornamented richly with beads and em blazoned with the arms of the happy owner on the collar. A MODEL OF DEATH VALLEY. Some of the Novel Things Uncle Sam Will Show at the World's Fair. A relief model of Death Valley, 25 feet in length, is to be an interesting feature of the exhibit of the Department of Agricul ture at the "World's Fair. Together with it will be shown specimens of all the strange creatures which the Government expedition collected there recently, inch as horned toads, scorpions and snakes. There will also be a display of the economic animals of the United States, mounted and stuffed. Besides a display of mounted bugs the entomological division will show models of growing economio plants, eaoh represented as attacked by its most destructive insect GUNS AND SHEIX. parasite, part of it being in a healthy con dition, while another portion is in process of being gobbled up; For example, on a tomato plant is crawling a huge green cater pillar known as the "tomato worm." On a portion of a potato plant potato bugs are getting in their work, and clover, different kinds of vines and other growths are sim ilarly displayed, assailed by their respec tive enemies. An ear of corn is being eaten by a boll worm, which is the same foe that attacks the cotton, so fatally. And, by the way, it has been recently discovered that cotton can be saved from this depredator by planting corn among it, because the boil worm prefers corn to cotton and will for sake the latter for the former. AH EXCUSE FOB THE SMOKEB. A Professor Has Proved That the Favorite Weed Is an Antiseptic. It has long been a popular opinion that tobacco is an antiseptic, and Prof. Ta ssarin has recently made some experiments on the supposed germicidal virtues of tobacco. In order to imitate as nearly as possible the processes goine on in a smoker's mouth, the professor passed tobacco fumes through a horizontal tube into a receptacle kept moist by damp cotton wool, which contained a colony of bacilli. It was found that the smoke retarded the growth of some kinds of bacilli, and absolutely prevented the growth of others. Among the latter were the bacillfof cholera and typhus. Value of Newspaper Advertisements. livKirrau roa TOE DtSPATCn.1 Mamma Don't you viisn you had a little sister? Bobby Yes, indeed; why don't you an swer an advertisement in the paper? Mamma What good would that do? Bobby I saw one to-day which said "a little girl wants a place in a small family." Cheap and pure, it wins its way and cures every time, does Salvation Oil. 25 cents a bottle- j T I YTniO TTXTTOr T. TAT r? t Lliill U U Ui IUIjU IAJjEiOs He Calls Them Encbanted Cigarettes, and Becalls Their Fragrance. A HEBOINE WITH A LARGE MOUTH TTas His First Character, tut De Couldn't Make Her Fall in Love. GREAT liOYELS CUT OFF BT DEATH tWEITTEN rOB THE DISPATCH. To dream oyer literary projects, Balzao says, is like "smoking enchanted cigar ettes," but when we try to tackle our projects, to make them real, the enchant ment disappears. "We have to till the soil, to sow the seed, to gather the leaves, and then the cigarettes must be manufac tured, while there may be no market for them after all. Probably most people have enjoyed the fragrance of these enchanted cigarettes, and have brooded over much which they will never put on paper. Here are some of "the ashes of the weeds of my delight" memories of romances whereof no single line is written, or is likely to be written. Of my earliest novel I remember but lit tle. I know there had been a wreck, and that the villian, who was believed to be drowned, came home and made himself dis agreeable. I know that the heroine's month was not "too large for regular beauty." In that respect she was original. Andrew Lang. All heroines are "muckle-mou'd." I know not why. It is expected of them. I know she was melancholy anjl merry; it would not surprise mo to learn that she drowned herself in a canoe. But the villian never descended to crime, the first lover would not fall in love, the heroine's own affections were provokingly disengaged,and the whole affair came to a dead stop for want of a plot A True Mirror to Nature. Perhaps, considering modern canons of fiction, this might have been a very success ful novel. It was entirely devoid of inci dent or interest, and, consequently, was a good deal like real life, as real life appears to many cultivated authors. On the other hand, all the characters were flippant This would never have done, and I do not regret novel No. 1, which had not even a name. The second story had a plot, quantities of plot, nothing but plot. It was to have been written in collaboration with a very great novelist, who, as far as we went, confined himself to making objections. This novel was stopped (not that my friend would ever have gone on) by "Calle"d Back," which an ticipated'part of "tHeldea. The story as entitled, "Where Is Hose?" and the motto was Hosa quo loeorum tera moratur. The characters were: (1.) Bose, a, young lady of quality, (2.-) The Russian Princess, her friend (need I add that, to meet a pub lic demand, her name was Vera?). (3.) Young man engaged to Bose. (4.) Charles, his friend. (5.) An enterprising person named "The "Whiteley pf Crime." The rest were detectives, old ladies, mob, and a wealthy young Colonial larrikin. This One Had a Dark Mystery. Neither my friend nor I was fond of de scribing love scenes, so we made the heroine disappear in the second chapter, and she never turned up again till chapter the last After playing in a comedy at the house of an Earl, Bose and Vera entered her brougham. Immediately afterward the brougham drew up, empty, at the Earl's door. "Wher'e was Bose? Traces of her were found, of all places, in the haunted house in Berkeley Square, which is not haunted any longer. Beyond that, Bose was long sought in vain. t This, briefly, is what had occurred. A Bussian detective "wanted" Vera, who, to be sure, was a Nihilist To catch Vera he made an alliance with "The White'ley of Crime." This gentleman was the universal provider of iniquity. He would destroy a parish register, or forge a will, or crack a crib, or break up a meeting, or burn a house, or kidnap a rightful heir, or manage a -personation, or issue amateur bank notes, or what you please. Thinking to kill two birds, with one stone, he carried off Bose for her diamonds and Vera for his friend, the Moscovite official, lodging them both in the haunted house. It Had Siberia in It. But there he and the Bussian came to blows, and, in the confusion, Vera made her escape, while Bose was conveyed, as Vera, to Siberia. Not knowing how to dispose of her, the Bussian police confined her to a nunnery at the mouth of the "Obi. Her lover found her hiding place, and got a friendly nun to give her some narcotic known to the Samoyeds. It was the old true of the Friar in "Borneo and Juliet." At the mouth of the Obi they do not bury the dead, but lay them down'on platforms, in the open air. Bose was picked up there by her lover (accompanied by a chaperon, of course), and was got on board a steam yacht, and all went well. I forget what happened to -The "Whiteley of Crime.. After him I still rather hanker he was a humor ous ruffian. Something could be made of The "Whiteley of Crime. "What-offers?" as the people say in the exchange and mart The next novel, based on a dream, was called "In Search of Qrart" "What is Qrart? 1 1 decline to divulge this secret be yond saying that Qrart was a product of the civilization which now sleeps under the snows of the pole. It was an article of the utmost. value to humanity. Further I do not intend to commit myself. The bride of a god was one of the characters. Away Back In the B. Cs. The next novel is, at present, my favorite cigarette. The scene is partly in Greece, partly at the Parthian Court, about 80-60 B. C Crassus isthe villain. The heroine was an actress io one of the wandering Greek companies, splendid strollers who played at the Indian and Asiatic courts. The story ends with the representation of the Baccha:, in Parthia. The head of Pen theus is carried by one of the Baccha? in that drama, Behold, it is not ax mask, but the head of Crassus, and thus conveys the first news of the Boman defeat Obviously this Is a novel that needs a great deal of preliminary study. Another story dealt with Icelandic dis coveries of America. Mr. Kipling, how ever, has taken the'wind out of its sails with his sketch, "The Einest Story in. the "World." After that a romance on the in trigues to make Charles Efiward King of Poland sounds commonplace. .But rmuch might be made of that, too, if the right man took it in hand. Believe me, there are plenty of stories left, waiting for the man who can tell them. A Story About a Poet. Another cigarette I have, the Adventures of a poet, a Poet born in a Puritan village of Massachusetts about 1670. Hawthorne could hare told ma my story, and how my friend was driven into the wilderness and I lived among tho Bed Men. I think he was ""ira in an attempt to wsra uuhh menof an Indian raid; I think his MSS stories have a bullet-hole through them, and blood on the leaves. They were in Carew's best manner, these poems. I have omitted, after all, a schoolboy his torical romance explaining why "Queen Elizabeth was never marrjed. A Scotch paper offered a prize for a stdry of Queen Mary Stuart's reign. X did not get the prize perhaps, did not deserve it. You must know that Queen Elizabeth was-singu: larly like Darnley in personal appearance. "What so natural as that, disguised as a knight, Her Majesty should come spying about the Court of Holyrood. Darnley sees her walking out of Queen Mary's room, he thinks her an hallucination, discovers that she is real, challenges her and they fight at Faldonside, by the Tweed, Shakespeare holding Elizabeth's horse. Elizabeth is wounded and is carried to the Kirk, of Field and laid in Darnley's chamber, while Darnlev makes love to my rural heroine, theLadyofFernilee, a Kerr. That night Bothwell blows up the Kirk of Field, Eliza beth and all. Darnlev has only one re course. In the riding habit of the rural heroine he flees across the border, and for the rest of his life personates Queen Eliza beth. Explaining an Historical Fact. That is why Elizabeth hated Mary so bitterly (on account of the Kirk of Field affair), and that is why Queen Elizabeth was never married. Side-lights on Shake speare's sonnets were obviously cast. The young man whom Shakespeare admired so, and urged to marry was Darnley. This romance did not get the prize, but I am con ceited enough to think it deserved an hon orable mention. Enough of my own cigarettes. But there are others of a more fragrant weed. "Who will end for me the novel of which Byron only wrote a chapter; who, as Bulwer Lytton is dead? A finer opening, one more mysteriously stirring, you shall nowhere read. And" the novel in letters, which Scott began in 1819, who shall finish it, or tell us what he did with his fair Venetian courtesan, a character so much out of Sir Walter's way? He tossed it aside, it was but an enchanted cigarette, and gave us "The Fortunes of Nigel" in its place. I want both. "We cannot call up those who "left half told" these stories. In a hap pier world we shall listen to their endings, and all our dreams shall be coherent and concluded. Meanwhile, without trouble, and expense, and disappointment, and re views, we can all smoke our cigarettes of fairyland. Would that many people were content to smoke them peacefully, and did not rush on pen, paper and ink ! Andrew Lang. HOW TO HAKE A GIFT- There's a Great Seal In the Manner In Which, the Offering Comes. New Tork Times. A certain New Yorker, whose income permits the gratification of his generous im pulses, wanted to send a substantial gift to an old friend, a clergyman, whose small parish in a distant community vouchsafed him more of love and reverence than "salary. "I'm going to sendB. $100," the New Yorker announced to his wife one day in December. "Are you?" she said, I'm glad." Then, after a minute, she asked: "How will you send it?" "Bv check, of course," was the reply, "How else should I?" But the wife demurred, "It eeems a lit tle too too sordid, doesn't it, for a man like Mr. B.? Let me manage it, may I?" and the husband consented. On Christmas morning a registered ex press package was delivered k at the little western parsonage to Mrs. B. She opened it wonderingly and found a flat box. Going further, a mat of silk paper was removed and a dainty booklet ot Christmas remem brance was disclosed. This was taken out and admired and the card beneath it read for the givers. Something showed still un der a second mat of paper, and when that had been put aside, there, fitted neatly in the bottom of the box, were five tiny silken baes, each tied close with a little bow of ribbon. Each contained a twenty-dollar gold piece. This was the wife of the New Yorker's delicate way of eliminating the check element NOT FKOM A SPEEDY TOWN. rWMTTXN FOB TOTS DISP ITCH. J Mrs. French Drpp that book, Helen; von shall not get a taste for fast reading while I am responsible. . Helen French "Wby, mamma, It is by a Philadelphia author. Mrs. French Go on with your reading, dear. A Great Philosopher's Troth. IWBlTTEJt FOB THE DISPATCH.1 Herdso I hear you have made a fortune in real estate; give me the secret ot your success. Saidso I bought with dollars and sense. HAD WAR ON THK BKTN. tWBITTEK JOB THB PISPATCII.J Sporting Editor How did Joblots lose his place as book reviewer for the Daily oatl War Correspondent He wrote a review of a hook called "Great Guns," under the heading "Our New Navy." It turned out to- be about oid-'war-horses in the Senate. (Her Support Isn't Popnlnr. rWBITTIir TOR Tin PISPATOfl.l "Wool "Why don't you take in the variety shawv? The soubrette is charming. t Van Pelt Yes; butI don't like her sup port "Wool "Who supports her? Van Pelt Her husband. 3P MM i TEEY LIVE ON SHEEP. Falkland Islanders Haveo Other Trade Than Farming Them." A LARGE ENGLISH ENTEEPR1SE. Dreary Patches of land Famons the World Oyer for Barrenness. WRECKING AS A PATING BUSINESS fCOllRISPOSDIJICE OT TRX BISPATCn.I Poet Stanley, East Falkland, Dec 25. Time was, some generations ago, when these islands were more talked about than perhaps any other portion of the earth's surface. But since the Dutch, French, Spanish, South American and United States Governments have, one by one in tums, re signed all claims to the archipelago which Great Britain now holds in peaceable pos session, the world has so far forgotten the subject that to-day many otherwise well posted persons would be puzzled to tell you at a moment's notice on which side of the globe the Falklands are located. The group, which includes more than 200 islands, lies about 300 miles due east from the Atlantic entrance to the Straits of Magellan. So low and barren are they, re sembling in color "old ocean's gray and melancholy waste," that they are not visible at a little distance. Bunning close to shore we see no trees or shrubs, nor even under brush nothing but gray sand and brownish grass; and feel a sharp, cutting, constant land breeze, like that experienced in the North on blustering March days, only in finitely colder and more goose-dimpling aud wrinkle-producing. Tarns Abont Falkland Zephyrs. Passengers who have been in these parts , before fall to telling one another amazing yarns about the Falkland winds, most of which may be taken with many grains of allowance. A tall Briton, determined not to he outdone, asserts that he has actually seen sheep, whole droves of them, picked up bodily by a gentle Falkland zephyr and transported to another island; and hints' that he refrained from telling more marvel ous truths because ot the looks of incredulity which he discerned upon some of our faces. Another Falklander resents with indigna tion somebody s statement regarding the barrenness of the islands, and boastfully de clares that there is a tree in Stanley (the only one in the archipelago), and an apple tree at that, which last year bore five apples, each nearly as large as a walnut Stanley Harbor is one of the most com pletely land-locked in the world, having an opening hardly 600 feet across. In the fore ground are several ships, stuck fast on sand bars, dismantled and slowly decaying. Two or three English and German vessels are taking on wool, tallow and sheepskins, the cargoes being brought alongside in huge, old-fashioned freight hulks. Crafts of various sorts float French, Areentian and Chilean flags; but, search as you may, no stars and stripes can be seen, for TJncle Sam's banner is almost unknown in this locality. Big Graveyard for a Little Town. Unfortunately for cheerfulness, the most conspicuous object in the landscape is a cemetery, disproportionately large com pared to the little town, lying directly opposite the landing ana niiea wita a iorest of black and white wooden crosses. This being a free port, we escape many of the tedious formalities that prevail in other places, and get ashore in what seems an incredibly snort time after our Spanish American experiences. The town, which contains about 700 inhabitants, consist prin cipally of two macadamized streets, each a mile long, running parallel with the 'har bor. The houses are of wood, or undressed stone, mostly of one-story and none more than two, all with roofs of galvanized iron. Every house of any pretensions has its little conservatory in front and green houses in the rear, because neither fruits, flowers nor vegetables can be grown out of doors here on account of the eternal cold wind. Overhanging all are dense clouds of smoke, belched from the chim neys, as peat and coal must bebnmed every day in the year to keep people passably comfortable. The most conspicuous build ing in Stanley is a very odd one, of cut brownstone, with a tall clock tower in the center and wings on eaoh side of it one wing doing duty as a church, the other as a schoolhouse. The Inlanders Subsist on Sheep. The handsomest private residence a square two-storied brick one belongs to the director of the "Falklandlslands Sheep Farming Company," the' corporation which has given to the archipelago all the import ance it possesses. The company 8 big ware houses, wherein are stored the island farm er's wool, tallow and sheepskins, are grouped along the jetties and form a village by themselves. The English Governor occupies a distant cottage of gray tone; and both the barracks and the Governor's casa are defended by several nine-pounders. The decidedly English expression of Stanley becomes in tensified more and more, on closer acquaint ance. Take the shop signs for example, Here is one that reads "Millinery, Drapery & Haberdashery Store, to U. B. II. the Prince of Wales. Another enormous sign-board la forms passers by in large letters tbatwlthin Is a "store," it being evidently taken for granted that everybody understands the word to mean a depot for all manner of commodities, from hams to hair switches. Among several Inns of tho good old English style bar maids and all aro the "Stanley Arms." the "Ked Bull," the "Globe Tavern" and tho "Bose Hotel." Industries of the Archipelago. In 1S31 a company was formed In London and incorporatedby Boyal charter the pres ent "Falkland Island Sheep Farming Com pany," for the purpose of turning to greater account the herds of wild cattle that roam the islands and the enormous extent of sheep ranges. An interest was purchased for $100,000, and the company's headquarters were established at Stanley, while their grazinx and boiling down operations wero carneu on in various piacc an over tuo archipelago. Tlio development of this un dertaking necessitated tho establishment of stores and workshops at the seat of Colonial Government, and now ships can be repaired and provided at Stanley at less cost and in much better shape than at any other South American port a matter of great import ance, considering that much more injury is annually done to vessels that round Cape Horn tban in any other part of the world. A novel industry in which many Falkland Islanders find employment is tho rescuing of recked vessels and their crews. Not tnat there is any regular life-saving service, maintained by individuals or the Govern ment, but as in other out-of-the way sections of stormy coasts there are those who make a business ot wrecking for plunder. Hero parties keep schooners in constant readiness to go out at a moment's notice whenever a ship or schooner Is sighted with broken masts and other evidence of a losing con flict with Cape Horn gales, with oilers of assistance not irom motives of unmixed philanthropy, but for a good round rate of compensation, which generally completes tho rain of the victims by wrecking them financially. Fashik B. Ward. THE PHILOSOPHY OF YOUTH. As Boy Couldn't Find the Hole In Bis Stock ing, lie Said it Had Worn Out Harper's Young People. My odd little friend Boy Gregor so often surprises us with quaintly worded remarks 'that I am once in a while of the opinion that some of his ancestors were of thelrish stock and that he has inherited their talent for making -what we call "Irish bulls." ' None but an Irishman could gravely assert that ice cream is baked in a cold oven, and if this reply of Boy's to a question is not a genuine Irish bull, I am at a loss to gite it a name. "Boy," said his mother, "this cau't be y.our stocking. Yours bad a hole in it when you came home from school." "Yes, mama," said Boy, after a moment's study; "but the hole ii wored out, I guess." mJM?zyP& ft f1 v U7I r MV n ' M U M7W-" w hp WRITTEN. FOB THE DISPATCH BY MARK TWAIN, Author of "Innocents Abroad," "Tom Sawyer," "Huckleberry Finn," Etc., Etc STTOFIS OF PREVIOUS CII4PTEKS. Tho story opens with a scene between Lord Berkilev, Earl of Ros3more, and his son Viscount Berkeley, in Chalmondelov Castle, England. Tho young man has studied tho claims to the estate made by Simon Leathers, of America, and become convinced that he ii the rightful heir and hl3 father and himself usurpers. He announces his Intention to change places with Leathers, whereupon the old lord pronounces him stark mad. A letter arrives from Colonel Mulberry Sellers, or Washington, announcing that, by tho death of Simon Leathers and hi brother at a log-rolling In Cherokee Strip, he has become the Earl of Rossmore and rightful heir to Chalmondeley Castle and the vast estate. Colonel Seller and his contented old wife live in an old frame house before which hangs a sign announc ing that he is an attorney at law, claim agent, hypnotist, mind-cure SDeclalist, etc., etc His old friend, Washington Hawkins, arrives. He has been elected delegate to Congress from Cneroke Strip. The Colonel has Invented a puzzle which he calls Pizs-In-Clover. Persuaded by Hawkins he applies for a patent and accidentally runs acro34 a Yankee who agrees to give him 5 cents royalty on each one sold. Then the news comes that Simon Leathers is dead and the Colonel lays his plans. First he establishes the usages of nobility in his home, which he calls Kosmore Towers. Sally Sellers, now Lady Gwendolen, is noti fied at her college, and proceeds to lord it over those shoddy aristocrats who hitherto have considered ber a plebeian. The Colonel and the Major lay apian to capture One- Armed Fete, for whom there is a big reward. They locate him at the Gadsby Hotel. Young Lord Berkeley has arrived meanwhile aud stons at the Gadsby. Just as the Colonel's plans are about to be consummated the hotel burns. Lord Berkeley escapes, finding One-Armed Pete's cowboy clothes in the ball. He puts thesq on and proceeds to hide his identity. One-Armed Pete is supposed to have been burned alive. The newspapers also report Lord Berkeley burned. This just suits the young man's plans. The Colonel and the Jlajor go to the hotel and, being convinced that none of the bodies found can be that of the young lord, reverentlv gather up three basketsful of a'hes and take them home. They get a British flag and hang up ornate hatchments, for they must mourn In style. The Colonel proposes to send the three baskets one at a time to the father across the sea. However, his wife dissuades him. Meanwhile, the young lord deposits the cowboy's money in bank and cables his father that he was not burned In the hotel. He assumes the name of How ard Tracey and proceeds to find employment. CHAPTER XL UP.ING the first few days he kept the fact diligently before his mind that "he was in a land where there was "work and bread for aU." In fact, for conven ience sake he fitted it to a little tune and hummed it to himself; but astime wore on the fact it self began to take on a doubtful look, and next the tune got fatigned and present ly run down and Btopped. His first effort was to get an upper clerkship in one of the departments, where his Oxford education would come into play and do him service. But he stood no chance whatever. There, competency was no recommendation; po litical backing, without competency, was worth six of it He was glaringly English, and that was necessarily against him in the political center of a nation where both parties prayed for the Irish cause on the house-tops and blasphemed it in the cellar. By his dress he was a cowboy; that won him respect when his back was not turned, but it conlfTn't get a clerkship for him. But he had said, in a rash moment, that'he would wear those clothes till the owner or the owner's friends caught sight of them and asked for that money, and his conscience would not let him retire from that engage ment now. At the end of a week things were begin ning to wear rather a startling look. He had hunted everywhere for work, descend ing gradually the scale of quality, until ap- I parently he" had sued for all the various ' IIOTV BO kinds-of work a man without a special call ing might hope to be able to do except ditching and other coarse manual sorts and had got neither work nor the promise of it He was mechanically turning over the leaves of his diary, meanwhile, and now his eye fell upon the first record made after he was burnt out: "I myself did not doubt my stamina be fore, nobody could doubt it now, if they could see how I am housed, and realize that I feel absolutely no disgust with these quar ters, but am as serenely content with them a3 any dog would be in a similar kennel. Term's ?25 a week. I said I would start at the bottom. I have kept my word." A shudder went quaking through him, and he exclaimed: "What hae I been thinking oft This the bottoml Mooning along a whole week, and these terrific expenses climbing and climbing all the timet I must end this folly straightaway." He settled up at once and went forth to find less sumptuous lodgings. He had to wander to and fro and seek with diligence, but he succeeded. They made him pay in advance $4 60; this secured both bed "and food for a week. The good-natured, hard worked landlady took him up three flights of narrow, nncarpeted stairs and delitered him into his room. There were two double bedsteads in it and one single one. He would be allowed to sleep alone in one of the double beds until some new boarder should come, but he wouldn't be charged extra. So he would -presently be required to sleep with some stranger! The thought of it made him sick. Mrs. Marsh, the land lady, was very friendly and hoped he would like her house they all liked it, she Baid. "And they're a very nice set of boys. They carry on a good deal, but that's their fun. You see, this room opens into this back one, and sometimes they're all in one and sometimes in the oti.er; and hot nights they all sleep ou the roof when it don't rain. The season's so early that they've already had a night or two up there. They get out there the minute it's hot enough. If you like to eonp and pick out a place you can. You'll find chalk in the side of mm rr (V ISKPmO' Vfi'i V W-rr o Ift M2fe& pw vjeL i in iffi S Xwv&j35 O 1 . '-'5C-'Scyi -"5Qiv. rJCidsSS? , a the chimney, where there's a brick wanting. You just take the chalk and but of course you've done it before." "Ob, no.I haven't" ""Why, of course, you haven't what am I thinking of? Plenty of room on the plains without chalking, I'll be bound. Well, you just chalk out a place the size of a blanket anywhere on the tin that ain't already marked off, vou know, and that's your property. You and your bedmate take turn about carrying up the blankets and pillows and fetching them down again, or one carries them up and the other fetches tbeai down you fix'it the way you like, you know. You'll like the boys"; they're ever lasting sociable except the printer. He's the one that sleeps in that single bed the strangest creature; why, I don't believe you could get that man to sleep with another man, not if the house was afire. Mind you, I'm not just talking, I know. The boys tried him to see. Tney took his -bed out one night, and bo when he got home about 3 in the morning he was on a morning paper then, but he's on an evening one now there wasn't any place for him but with the iron, molder, and, if you'll believe me, he just set up the rest of the night he did,honest They say he's cracked, but it ain't so; he's English they're awful particular. You won't mind my saying that you you're English?" "Yes." "I thought so. I could tell it by the way you mispronounced the words that's got a'a in them, you know, such as saying 'loff ' when you mean 'lau' but you'll get over that He's a right down good fellow, and a little sociable with the photographer's boy and the caulker and the blacksmith that works in the navy yard, but not so much so with the others. The fact is, though it's private, and the others don't know it, he's a kind of an aristocrat, his fother being a doctor, and yon know what style that is in England, I mean, because in this country a doctor ain't so very much, even if he's that But over there of course it's different So this chap had a falling! TOO DO ? out with his father, and was pretty high strung, and just cut for this country, 'and the first he knew he had to get to work or starve. Well, he'd been to college, you see, and so he judged he was all right did yoa say anything?" "No I only sighed." "And .there's where he was mistaken. Why, he mighty near starved. And I reckon he would nave starved sure enough, if some jour, printer or other hadn't took pity on him and got him a place as appren tice. So he learnt the trade, and then he was all right bnt it was a close calL Once he thought he had got to haul in his pride and holler for his father and why, you're sighing again. Is anything the matter with you? -does my clatter " "Oh", dear no. Pray go on I like It" ''Yes, you see, he's been over here tea years, he's 28 now , and he ain't pretty well satisfied in his mind, because he can t get reconciled to being a mechanic and associ ating with mechanics, he being, as he says to me, a gentleman, which is a pretty plain letting-on that the boys ain't, but of course, I know enough not to let that cat out of the bag." "Why would there be any harm in it?" "Harm in it? They'd lick him, wouldn't tney wouldn't youf Ut course you would. Don't you ever let a man say you ain't a gentleman in this country. But laws, what am I thinking about? I reckon a body would think twice before he said a cowboy wasn't a gentleman." A trim, active, slender and very pretty girl of about 13 walked into the room now, in the most satisfied and unembarrassed way. She was cheaply but smartly and gracefully dressed, and the mother's quick glance at the stranger's face as he rose waa of a kind which inquires what effect has been produced, and expects to find indica tions of surprise and admiration. "This is my daughter Hattie we call her! Pus. It's the new boarder, Pusa," This' without rising. The young Englishman made the awk ward bow common to his nationality and' time of life in circumstances of delicacyL and difficulty, and these were of that sort: for being taken by surprise, his natural' life-long self sprang to the front, and thatt self, of course, would not know just how to JL&D i j jaffi-rS"Al1fc . -Wgay-aaBr-W- fatttffli, HlTaWiaWB aJlalaWaPiaVlst ' faPWMBWfliaMaaattKtl aajatMattaiaMiaaMBWK miiwm
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers